Sun-Bun

God YES!!! It’s like this huge wheeze she guffaws out repeatedly and it’s so fake and overdone. It’s like she’s thinking to herself as she wheezes it out, “I’m such a silly and relatable goofball, y’all!” But it comes off like an awkwardly nervous habit that refuses to die.

I can attest that this situation has happened to me—normally I’m on Team LeaveMeAVoicemailOrImNotCallingYouBack, but I was involved in a horrible car accident several months ago(I walked away with just a few bruises) and my phone was smashed up along with my car. So I was literally begging paramedics and the other party who hit me to use their phones, and calling the only two phone numbers I knew by heart: my husband and my mother. After repeatedly calling my husband from that random phone, like literally about 5 times in a row for a good ten minutes or so, he finally picked up with a huffy, “Who the Hell is this?!!” Thank god he did, and he felt awful about his usual stance on ignoring random unknown calls, in retrospect. Emergency calls do happen, we all have to remember. Persistence paid off in this case, but it made me rethink my former stance on answering repeated calls from unknown numbers a bit(although I’m not afraid to leave voicemails and always do!)—such a damned shame that robocalls and sales calls/scams/political ads have forced us to be leery about answering random phone numbers though. Current pet peeve I’m dealing with: entitled assholes in my condo community who don’t seem to understand what RESERVED parking means. My assigned spot was an extra $5k when we bought into the building, so naturally I’m extra possessive of it. Nice spot, yet there’s still PLENTY of parking available throughout the parking garage for those who didn’t buy in, along with their guests. I’ve only had several folks park in my spot in the past, to which I left a polite note to please move or I’d have to have them towed. After that, it wasn’t a problem and they’d always be gone by the time I checked back. Cut to the other night around 9pm, someone is parked in my spot. Never mind the painted RESERVED word going across it and the RESERVED sign in front of it. I leave my usual note and figure they’ll be gone by the next morning, at least. So I leave for work around 7:30am, they’re still parked there. Then I get home from work over 8 hours later, they’re *still* parked there with my note still attached. Nearly 24 hours parked in someone’s Reserved spot?! Oh now that’s some kinda nerve/entitlement—for the first time ever, I called a tow-truck on someone. Then posted it on our building’s Facebook page to remind folks to please understand building rules and the consequences of breaking them. Now I’m scared of retaliation because several hours later someone pulled a fire alarm in our building and several neighbors blamed me for putting the towing “victim” on blast and said to expect my car getting keyed/tampered with...um hello?! Why am *I* in the wrong here? Is this the world we live in now?? I suppose everyone should just park where they want around here with no repercussions?! Hey, let’s all just park in those coveted handicapped spots and the fire lanes there, while we’re at it!! Ugh. I just really hate people sometimes.

Not to be Captain Obvious, but Ericka is totally evolving into a salty old drag queen on her Instastories; she’s always caked up in her thick makeup and droning on and on about whatever lately in that nasally, mannishly-low voice she must get post-performances. NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat, but it’s just interesting to see how much she’s changed in just the past few years on her social media; she seems less interested in showing what a hot, youthfully girlish minx she is for her age and seems to have now fully embraced her ongoing role as a GLTBQ icon, that’s for sure.

I agree with you on all accounts, @eXiled: so eloquently stated...Monique could’ve merely laughed in the face of Candyass and the others’ pathetically desperate theatrics, but she sadly fell for the easy bait. Not a good look and definitely not a wise move; I’m sure Chris was just as disappointed by her physical altercation. And I love me some Monique, so it’s indeed sad to see how she’s gradually lost her chill game with every season—like my favorite Monique moment was on S2 when she first met the girls as a group; as usual, salty Gizelle was trying her best to throw shade, and when she got Mo opening up more about how she was shopping for new homes in Potomac and asked “You don’t have a home?” Mo barely skipped a beat and calmly answered, “I have four homes.” THAT is the confident and cool Monique I fell for, not this trash-talking broad who claims she’ll “drag” her other inconsequential, hopelessly bougie cast members. She came on this show with all the necessary RH trappings, enviable lifestyle and charming gorgeousness to match. And I liked how she first seemed so composed and classy, yet still fun and sassy, like Potomac’s answer to Cynthia Bailey. But if you wallow in the mud, you’re obviously going to get dirty; and it’s quite disappointing that she ever lowered herself to the likes of Candyass’s trashy levels. Now I’ll be forced to quote Nene Leakes on my true feelings for Monique post-fight:

Kristen seems to go through “friends” and employees like Kleenex. I’m thinking there’s an obvious pattern here. Not that I don’t side with her on the Kelly thing, but I also don’t doubt that Kristen’s usually a shitty excuse of a friend as well, considering how she only seems to know how to talk about herself and her own life. Speaking of shitty friends, that was rather pathetic that she and Heidi and Adrianna(aka Ceiling Eyes) were sitting there still bashing Lauren after all these years. I don’t blame Lauren one but for focusing on her career and choosing to step away from reality show fame and aimless losers like those broads. And how quickly Kristen forgets how many times she and Tweedle-Dumb/Tweedle-Dumber repeatedly wronged Lauren.

She had a malignant mole removed from her chest there, I know that much.

Seriously, what was the appeal of that loser for Brittainy? He’s a shlubby, boring old D-list country singer-songwriter with a few crappy music trophies and awards to his name, for chrissakes. And oh god, da fuq was up with that shitty apartment of his? Yuck!! Hell, even the cast’s shitty apartments from the first few seasons of “Vanderpump Rules” had more style. I hope those were partial tears of joy Brittainy was squeezing out as she moved out of that gross crack den. I was happy to see that Jay took his glittery new gay friends to Bolton’s(and not those lame HC tourist traps Hattie B’s/Party Fowl); it’s my vote for one of the few legit hot chicken joints in town. Although I’d bet money that those pussies only ordered Mild; real hot chicken is redder and darker. Plus, it’s just insulting to dunk your hot chicken into ranch! I see they also went to some of the lamest honkeytonk bars downtown. Of course. And I hope they at least bought some boots and things after that ridiculous scene they created at Luccheese. Those boots usually *start* at $1500-2000, so hopefully the staff working that day weren’t denied their rightful commission for those buffoons to act like such annoying twats in there. Speaking of annoying, glad to see that famewhore Kelly finally gone. What a pathetic thirst trap she ended up being; she’s way too basic to be remotely interesting. And the idea of Jay even remotely having any supposed illicit interest in her is just laughable. I actually don’t mind Justin. He’s a little extra for extra’s sake, but he still seems genuinely sweet and his boyfriend is adorable. I suppose anything is an upgrade from the stench of cackling basic that was Kelly. Kristen’s severe skinniness continues to bug me and I’ve seen her in person; it doesn’t look healthy or natural. I know she’s always been tiny, but good lord, she’d look so much prettier and less angular/harsh in the face if she just put on a few extra pounds. They need to force-feed her some hot chicken the next time they make it over to Bolton’s, seriously. They live nearly an hour outside of Nashville in the Franklin area, btw(aka, “Rich Republican Assholeland” to us locals). I can’t imagine having to make that trek nearly daily and why Jay insists on living all the way out there, but it’s the best public school system in the state so now I’m curious if their kids will end up going to public or private school.

No joke, I went to SUR several times this past Thanksgiving because I was staying with extended family who happen to live down the street from that whole strip—I was hella surprised at how stupidly fun the place is! Also much smaller there than I expected. Didn’t try any food but I did have the sangria, which was damned delicious. Didn’t see any cast members or Vanderpumps either, but I saw some dude who looked like a younger Sandoval, so there’s that. Speaking of which, Tom-Tom was closed every time I tried to stop by. Pump is just a sleazy good time, ditto The Abbey, if you’re into rocking out like you’re at a 90’s-era gay disco.

Damned straight! Worse yet, if you dare post a comment either on Facebook or Instagram that another poster/s doesn’t agree with, so therefore they start to attack your profile/profile photo. It’s creepy and weird, and what other people on a public page may or may not look like to you shouldn’t affect overall opinions like that. And I feel you guys on the messy people thing. Slobs make me so queasy.

This doesn’t surprise me either; they barely showed each other any real public affection and pretty much lived separate lives. Even from following her Instagram since then and their big move to Dubai, I noticed that he would barely appear in her posts/stories there. But I just figured they had an open marriage on the DL and were just hanging in there for the kids. Wonder what was the final nail in that coffin?? Now a bunch of folks have been messaging her/tweeting that she needs to join the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills/NYC” since she knows so many folks from both casts. She coyly admitted that she was into that idea, but I doubt anything will come of it.

Just finished watching the second season a few days ago; I liked it even better than the first one! The energy felt a bit more upbeat and the characters seemed a bit deeper and fully fleshed out. Shame to see this show cancelled just when it started to pick up steam. Jake still sucks though. I’m sure JS is a fine actor otherwise, but as others have noted here, he just doesn’t have the charisma or good looks to play the hot bad boy bartender-type. Like I still can’t understand the attraction Tess has to him and Simone’s clingy nature with him is equally baffling given her ambitiously worldly, sophisticated streak. It’s a weird Oedipal energy that I don’t think translated very well between those two actors. Such a waste, because I think a better casting choice for Jake might’ve elevated this material a bit, especially since I think everyone else was perfectly cast in their roles. And had he been played by a younger actor, Simone’s maternal energy with him might’ve made more sense as well. He’s supposed to be closer to Tess’s age in the book, just a few years older than her. It was nice to see Howard given a bit more humanizing scenes. The actor who plays him is just perfect in his style and delivery. Sorry we don’t get to see what ultimately happens between he and Tess, although it was an ugly final twist in the book that might’ve been tough to play well for another season if they stuck to the book’s plot. Speaking of the book, I kept waiting for the big France trip with Simone and Jake to happen, which finally sets Tess off and turns her into the shameless backstabber she becomes...I guess they replaced that storyline with the weird storyline about Tess reading Simone’s writings and getting weird ideas about her and Jake’s relationship?? The very last scene between Tess/Howard just felt flat and random without that necessary backstory... It was nice to see Tess’s loyal friendship grow with the Russian gay guy(I forget his name). And I found Will’s character especially intriguing as he was given more chances to explore his ambition and drive for success. Tess should’ve been hanging out more with him and not pining away for the dumb bartender. Interesting series overall though and I’m sorry it wasn’t given an extra season to tie up those loose ends. Although I was beyond tired of watching JS sulk his way through every episode while being annoyed over his character’s casting, so it’s okay.

Yeah, some have commented here about how low-key funny Jay is because he’s so incredibly deadpan all the time—I just don’t see it at all. To me he has perpetual derp face, like he constantly smells a fart. Unless you’re a comedian a’la Steven Wright and that’s your shtick, it just doesn’t work in the real world; I think some people really are that genuinely boring and joyless. So I’m always left wondering if Kristin would’ve even given him a second look had he not been a rich NFL star. They seem to have zero chemistry and he’s always negging her in his weird low-key way; might be vaguely interesting to see some hint of romance between those two otherwise, because I can’t even fathom how boring he must be in the bedroom(he strikes me as the type who just lays there while his partner does all the work).

Ditto, @Bastet and @Zola; I’ve never understood the huge fascination people seem to have with fast food, namely McDonald’s slop. I didn’t grow up eating it because my mom was a cheap health nut, although my grandmother would occasionally sneak me a meal from KFC or Captain D’s. I tried my first real taste of McDonald’s with a friend in middle school, and was duly unimpressed. Those McNuggets didn’t taste remotely like chicken, the Big Mac was soggy, the fries were just salty and whatever...but I’m equally as dismayed by In N Out, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, etc...hard to believe McDonald’s is still such a popular fast food stop despite its grossness. But I guess if you’re not really used to that junk, you don’t really crave it. Glad to see that more fast casual eateries with healthier selections like Panera are at least rising to prominence nowadays. Speaking of which, what’s up with restaurant websites that don’t post their actual hours of operation? And god forbid you call their phone numbers if they’re posted, usually so I can call to ASK their hours...half the time they don’t even bother answering that number, so why even bother posting it?? I shouldn’t have to dig through Facebook or Instagram for this info either; that’s what your website/google is for!!

So I continue to hate-watch this shit as a cynical native Nashvillian. This time I watched just to see our fave local party planner dandy, Hugh Howser, in action—I’ve known and seen him around town for years, and he’s such a hoot. Follow him on Instagram if you wanna good laugh because his stories can be so ridiculous. Glad the curse of basic that is Kristin K didn’t affect him onscreen too much. Kristin and Jay must be extra fancy because they buy their kids toys at the local rich parents boutique and not Wal-Mart or Target. Wow, Kelly still sucks! Only now she sucks even more because she may or may not be a backstabbing bitch excuse of a friend. Seems oddly convenient storywise, but whatever. That “big party” looked stupid as shit; it was in a small ballroom at a downtown boutique hotel here, so I know it was every bit as small as it looked. When did they even film that trash? It was still bright daylight outside at that “dinner party” they did before the big event, so I’m just wondering how far ahead they actually filmed all that mess. Interesting that they’ve had to bring in more new folks/LA transplants to inject some life into this show since the UJ staff all ended up being such duds. And why is that Shannon chick still billed on the cast list when dialing this show up via OnDemand? She hasn’t been a cast member since S1! The blonde new gay guy at least has a seemingly peppy personality, although his plastic surgery is slightly frightening. Jay still seems to hate his life. Now if he’d just shave his neck beard he might actually look somewhat cleaner. Kristin thinks Jennifer Nettles has “the voice of an angel”?! Okayyyyy then. I couldn’t even name a single Sugarland tune if you held me down at gunpoint...by the sound of things, I’m not missing much!

Seriously. I like Stassi okay and find her talking heads somewhat amusing because she’s obviously a bit quicker than the other girls, but I don’t get all the recent fan worship. Like from the clips of her live show I’ve seen on her Instagram stories, ehh, the show itself looks kinda...stupid. It’s literally her onstage in a look-alike version of her apartment along with her friend Taylor whatever and Beau, singing bad karaoke and talking/gossiping about the show and her interests while she wears a crown and sits on a throne. Can’t imagine how so many people are willing to pay decent dough to watch Stassi basically talking shit onstage, but whatever....she’s obviously made good money doing the exact same thing on her podcast and in her book, so maybe I’m just jealous too! Amazing what passes as entertainment these days...

I gotta hand it to Sandoval: that’s a dude who’s completely comfortable in his own skin and isn’t afraid to be hella metro AF. Love the fact that he can dress up like that and not take himself too seriously, unlike Arianna’s comedy.

I’ve been watching footage of BravoCon feverishly thanks to all the Bravo Instagrammers there capturing all the surreal fun. And damned does it ever look fun! Patricia has her own pink bar area, the SC cast held a lively panel discussion and hosted a wacky brunch the next day...all the various Bravolebrities are hanging together like a big wacky family, fans get photos with their fave Bravolebrities...and I’d want to go strictly for this awesome “Vanderpump Rules” photo booth action:

This doesn’t look so good for Kathryn; makes her look like quite the crook, if this is indeed true(but it’s been confirmed by several other commenters, so who knows?)...on one of the Instagram fan pages, several commenters posted that items they’d bought from Kathryn’s online sale a few months ago *still* haven’t reached them and that she’s ignoring their messages. One is pursuing legal action, whatever that looks like...:

Seriously. Prepare for more eye-rolling talking heads featuring these supposedly cosmopolitan rich ladies giggling about all the “weird” food being served to them in exotic Thai settings and how they’d rather be eating pizza or chicken tenders(side-eyeing Kam extra hard on that one). Nothing makes me cringe harder than adult picky eaters, especially when they’re on these shows that allow them to waste such opportunities to travel to fabulous locations and try all that wonderful cuisine. The OC and Atlanta HW’s are the worst offenders, although some of these broads brought that cringe to their European trip with Cary.

Thanks, @BookWoman56: wise words all around!! And I appreciate you guys allowing me to spout my endless pity-party above. Felt better to get some of that shit out, that’s for damned sure. Today feels like a much fresher start, at least.

@hoosier80, your post really got to me(among so many others here: congrats on making such recent strides with your daughter, @Suzy Rhapsody!), because your situation with your mother sounds so eerily similar to my own. Ditto @BookWoman56. I’m starting to wonder if it’s a generational thing that many older Baby Boomers seem to display, because her usual self-centeredness/Only Child Syndrome kicked into overdrive as soon as she hit her 70’s. This is a woman who has told me on numerous occasions that she only had kids(my brother is the “golden child”) because she didn’t want to be alone/wanted someone to take care of her when she was old. I never even knew my father because he split forever when I was a baby; sometimes I can understand why because my parents both were selfish only children, so how could it have possibly worked between them anyway? Backstory here: When my brother was a teenager he was Hell. Got violent, hooked on drugs, in and out of the juvie, stole money, nearly dropped out of HS twice...he also sexually molested me repeatedly for a few years, and I’ve never admitted it to mom because I doubt she’d believe me and he’d likely deny it. Meanwhile I was the kid who went out of my way to do well—I was a model student, got two degrees, have had a good teaching career for over 15 years, have a great marriage. Currently working my ass off going to grad school on my spare time for a Masters. But because the golden child finally wised up and has stayed clean/employed for the past 15 years, has been celibate for a few years now and does many things to cater to my mom(including handling her banking and living for free in my late grandma’s house/estate because my mom doesn’t want to deal with selling it), I’m the lesser one. I’m the one she’ll call when she’s bored or needs amusement or when the golden child yells at her, whatever. When I offer to do things for her or help or spend time with her, she mostly brushes me off. I try to go to see her and/or go to lunch with her at least once a week, but I often dread it because she usually uses that time as an excuse to get drunk and then ask me really awkward, inappropriate questions. Or I’ll get her home and she’ll have a drunken accident after I leave. But when I try to enjoy what little spare time I have with friends/in-laws(go out of town, attend events, etc) otherwise, she'll call and yell horrible things at me, tell me how selfish I am, and throws my unaccepted attempts to do more for her otherwise right back at my face. She’s said/done all sorts of crazy things to my friends and husband over the years, things that sound weird and otherwise insane to anyone else. Called my husband at work, left ugly voicemails with him for stupid reasons, etc. I continue to forgive and try to move on from such odd moves, but I can’t forget. My husband and I have even tried to travel with her over the years, but that ends up backfiring on us when she somehow finds something random to pick a fight with us over and ruins the whole trip. Yet I STILL try my best to have a healthy relationship with both she and my brother because they’re the only blood I have left, but some days I really struggle to understand why I bother. They’re such a toxic presence in my otherwise happy life. It’s like the happier I am, the more my mom guilts me into how selfish I am and how I don’t do enough for her. Or my brother shittalks about my husband and me behind my back to her. I call her every day just to show I care and want to check on her(she mostly doesn’t care what I have to say since it’s just an excuse for her to talk at me all about her), but if I happen to mention I’m going somewhere or doing something for my self-care, she rages at me over what a spendthrift I am and I’ll “never have anything.”(my husband and I struggle sometimes financially, but we make do and are comfortable; I never ask her for money, but golden child has no problem asking for random ready handouts) This comes from the woman who never worked over a year of her life since my grandmother bought her everything she ever wanted throughout her adult life. Now that mom’s gotten older and more accident-prone, she expects both my brother and me to drop everything at any time for her...I’ll do that when I can, but my free-time is precious and I also need self-care with my husband for my own sanity’s sake, but she’ll never understand that. My brother just ghosts her and lies about where he is when he’s tired of dealing with her. I’m honest to a fault and will tell her sometimes that I’m sorry, but I’ll have to assist her later when I’m back in town(husband and I are avid travelers/hikers). Then she’ll berate me again, tell me how selfish I am and that I’m “cut off” from “her legacy”(aka her mom’s money), lather, rinse, repeat. I’m 42, she’s 75...I’m exhausted of living like this. I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m selfish for having an active life of my own when I’m not constantly working. Because I’m ChildFree, she assumes that I have all this extra time/money, which is hardly the case. Yes, I know I have more issues than a newsstand and should’ve considered therapy yearsssss ago. I can’t find it in my heart to cut either her or my brother completely off, and I’ll never really know why...I tried to suggest family therapy with them years ago and that went about as well as expected, so here I am, just left to ramble with kind strangers here since my friends are tired of hearing it. So to those of you still reading, thanks for that. I’ve commented here before on my many family issues, and just getting a forum to share/vent really helps clear my mind a bit, especially having just gotten off the phone with mom as she told me to leave her alone forever and just only check in with her monthly(me leaving for a day to go on a hiking trip with friends while she was stuck home with a raging bout of diarrhea apparently warranted such a reaction).

Yes, but they all made up rather quickly when they did battle with her. And they all have worshipped her and been her loyal minion at various points as well. It’s the ones who never really bonded with her and/or had horrible fights with her and never repaired things who end up getting the boot.

Agreed!!! And I don’t even mind Bethenny, but I *hated* the vibe she brought to the past several seasons, with all the HW’s desperately jockeying to be in her good favor and not piss her off. I don’t care how much she claims that she had no influence over production—I just find it interesting that beyond Ramona/LuAnne, all the other Housewives who dared cross her path were gone after that. It was a weird power dynamic I was tired of seeing and it’s nice to finally see these ladies not be brought down/affected in all their scenes by Queen Bethenny. Oh and her crying. The constant crying jags of BetheME...let’s hope she’s decided to let folks witness her perimenopausal outbursts elsewhere for good. And sour grapes or not, I’m loving this tea Lu is finally spilling on her, hahah!!

Seriously. This makes me very sad for her. Scott needs to either shit or get off the toilet—I hate the way he keeps jerking her around. Either give the woman the stable relationship/marriage she obviously wants or MOVE ON. I get a major Blanche Dubois vibe from Tinsley, and the desperation to cling to a relationship with Scott only enhances that vibe: the fading Southern Belle who still lives in her glamorous past, always looking back at her glory days as the prettiest girl in town whom all the single men wanted yet she never quite landed that ‘big fish’ she felt she truly deserved. That said, surely she can do better than that puffy commitment phobic dork Scott.

God I wish. He may be awful, but the show’s been a total snoozefest without him in the cast. It’d be fascinating to watch everyone have to see him again and film with him again after all his recent legal issues/social exile.