Sun-Bun

Agreed so much: this episode definitely had a huge sense of emptiness without T-Rav’s usual good ol’ boy goofiness and drawled talking heads tossed in. It just feels like something was totally missing and kinda off with this episode’s overall vibe, like it felt a bit tedious almost; every single season has always centered mostly around Thomas and his story in some way and I don’t think Kathryn alone can fill that great void. Damned shame, because I feel like the lack of Thomas’s usual shenanigans is going to completely kill the vibe and momentum of this once awesome show. For sure Thomas is a horrible person who doesn’t need to be regularly celebrated on a television show, but that dude is indeed reality gold. I can’t help but miss him and his unintentionally hilarious comments/antics. I just realized that “Southern Charm” without Thomas is starting to feel like what I’d imagine “Shahs of Sunset” would be without Reza: it just doesn’t seem to work.

Maybe so he can continue to appease his poor rich mother and her sad dreams of one day playing with grandkids?

It’s okay. She spent most of her first and only season with a perma-scowl/snarl on her face anyway, so I could see where she’d be unrecognizable smiling as opposed to wearing her usual bitchface.

I’m thinking it’s a combination of reasons why Ramona suddenly isn’t as eager to mix her onscreen RH friends with her socialite friends. Now that Ramona and her social scene are a little older, those women are probably a lot more judgmental and less tolerant of the onscreen antics and shenanigans that Sonja and the gang bring with them. They probably don’t want to be embarrassed or made the butt of any jokes(remember Beth’s wickedly funny comment about Ro’s friends at her birthday luncheon looking like they were from the bar in Star Wars?). And perhaps Ramona has gradually learned that she’s lost out on past great invites due to her involvement with filming the show/hanging with messy cast members and is more sensitive to it now. At any rate, it does seem interesting to note that suddenly Ramona claims she wants to hang with a younger new crowd. I think that was a ruse she used to make up for the fact that her cache with that fancier old social crowd has dwindled a bit in recent years, especially after her divorce; now she probably collects all the friends she can just to keep herself active and hot on the scene.

That wedding was such a big bougie mess from start to finish. 200k for that tacky shit?! Clouds on the ceiling? Chris’s stupid looking high-water pants with no socks?? Candyass’s cringeworthy singing performance??? Her mom’s godawful extensions really aren’t helping to promote their fake hair biz although Candy’s own wedding weave didn’t look all that stellar either. Poor Gizelle, just trying to get drunk, rekindle friendships and stay strong despite her loser man dumping her last minute...AGAIN. Almost as pathetic as Tinsley Mortimer on the NYC cast and her equally ghost-like on again/off again fella. I honestly felt bad for Giz; surely there are other good men out there for a successful beauty like her? Which reminds me, how’s her makeup line doing?? Robyn needs to just go. She and her baby daddy fuckboy from Baltimore are just so tacky and pathetic. Now that her hair got chopped off she’s ready to finally get canned quicker than Kerri Russell and her similarly awful hair chop that got “Felicity” cancelled. Swimcap hair is only sexy if you’re Halle Berry, ladies. Ashley getting drunk made me laugh. That’s usually me doing shots and being extra goofy at weddings. As gross as I find her and Creepy Aussie cryptkeeper, I’m glad she finally is having the baby she’s always wanted. And I hope to Hell she finally laid down the law to her disgusting leech of a freeloading mother.

Agreed with @bosawks here: I think Tins would actually be quite okay with secretly posing as a beard provided the gay husband was rich and secure enough to offer her a life of wealthy leisure/philanthropic pursuits and get her pregnant finally. Hell, that would sure beat waiting around in an overpriced hotel room for her ambivalent beefy long-distance boyfriend to finally commit.

LaLa essentially bought her way into this group’s good graces via her man—-once she was able to mention Rand in public and bring him around them all like a legitimate golddigger fiancée playing hostess to her friends, the group didn’t mind hanging out with her one bit. Suddenly she’s taking them all on PJ trips, lavishing them with generous gifts and given them nice tastes of the good life to which she’s become accustomed. She managed to charm them all thanks to her strategic generosity aka secure her spot on the show. It probably helps that she’s at least fun and attractive enough to get along with the group, but it’s also interesting to notice how she’s played all these chucklefucks every bit as much as she’s played her man.

Yes!!! And Stassi/LaLa are trying to out-dress each other. And they’re all buying designer shit like the basic try-hards they are while you see the French staff rolling their eyes in the background. And Katie just looks bored.

THANK YOU, likewise!!! Not only is it extremely rude and disrespectful to the other party involved, but it makes for fucking boring and pointless television. Not to mention it makes LaLa look too stupid and self-involved to be able to think of a quick comeback. Speaking of stupid and self-involved, oh Raquel...she positively reeks of try-hard. That art experiment fright dress she pulled out of Ericka Jayne’s bag of tricks was wearing her to death. She makes me so uncomfortable, and the idea of her working with special needs children one day is especially frightening. And just because you have a college degree doesn’t mean you have a high IQ—-booksmart and streetsmart are two very different things. I admit it: I burst out laughing at James hillbilly-shaming Brittany. The way he repeated it in a British/country accent just tickled me...he may be a total dick, but he’s certainly bringing the action to this otherwise boring shitfest. Did Kristen say she’s broken up with that loser Carter finally?? Bet LaLa doesn’t want Randall on there because she knows the internet would crucify the looks of her toad-looking old fiancée. And I’m tired of everyone defending her insane outbursts as her way of dealing with her grief. Katie is a sack of worthless, gross shit, as usual. Sitting up there scowling in an ill-fitting gown as usual. I just wanna nickname her Jaba the Butt. Sandoval is at least trying to keep the playing field level, so I appreciate him trying to keep things equally measured between all parties. Jax is a creepy shitbag as usual. Coked out of his mind as usual too.

Amen to *all* this, from one wine or beer gal to another!!! Most rented bartenders make really shitty cocktails anyway, so what’s the big deal? Unless you’re as into shots as the extreme lushes on this cast, I don’t understand the big deal on no available hard liquor for certain events. Hell, those chucklefucks at the party were all either too coked/pilled up or stoned to properly enjoy any good liquor anyway. But yes, if it’s beer/wine offered only, it’d sure as Hell better feature the good shit and lots of selection. Like I just went to a party where the only available options at the bar were either three choices of nice bourbon or Miller Light; I’d originally just wanted to sip on a nice beer but decided I’d rather choke down the hard shit versus that bottled piss water. (Which makes me wonder what kind of vile beer they made LVP guzzle down her bong?!)

All the RH’s have done those movie commercials but I’ve NEVER seen an advertisement so awkwardly slapped right into the middle of an actual episode—-DA FUQ was that all about, Bravo??!! It was just so cringey and gross...yeah, I refuse to watch any more “hidden” commercials like that so they better just cut that random promo shit right out or I’m out. Speaking of awkward, I don’t think we’ve ever had to endure so many scenes of a “friend of” RH that didn’t make the cut as a full-time RH like Barbra has...okay, maybe that Vidal Sassoon heiress from one of the Beverly Hills seasons, but even she didn’t get nearly as much screentime as grody ol’ Babs has so far. Barb really must’ve rubbed the producers/test audiences wrong to get demoted just before her season even aired. Wonder which dumbass casting director had the bright idea to cast her? She’s really just so off-putting, yet I dunno what it is about her exactly that makes her so unlikable beyond her fugly face/clothes/house/personality. Like she’s S4 Cindy Barshop levels of charmless screen presence. And when Ramona Singer actually dresses better than you, that’s kinda bad. Honestly, I still miss Carole, especially when having to endure all these clunky scenes featuring this hag Barb. I felt so sad for poor Tinsley, especially while she was all dressed up and drunk ugly-crying in that goofy Baby Jane outfit...there she was so excited to be in the circus, only to get completely upstaged by sloshed Sonja and shaded by both Dale and Scott! That was just pitiful to watch her having a mini-meltdown like that...homegirl needs some serious therapy indeed. She’ll never have the happy, healthy relationship she wants if she’s not happy and healthy herself. But it’s so sad that Tins can’t even seem to imagine any other life for herself than as some rich dude’s arm candy/trophy wife/baby mama...it’s all starting to ring so hollow to her now that she’s aging and running out of time, so my heart genuinely goes out to her. Despite all her talents and education and breeding/wealth, just being another stylish society wife/mother is all she was truly bred to be, sadly. Dale should’ve raised her with far more alternative goals than just that. Sonja and Lu have both grimly accepted their disgraced divorcée status and have learned to just go with the flow, but Tins just isn’t at that stage of her life yet. Oh Beth...watching you loosely narrate your latest court custody battle is beyond boring to watch.

Well apparently she was super stoked to finally get a hot guy to come all the way over to Marina Del Rey just to eat her out. And she stupidly expected her BEST FRIEND to be so overcome with competitive jealousy over this development that it would force him to finally come to his senses, proclaim his undying love for Scheana, and assert his commitment to her once and for all because she’s such a gorgeous and desirable young woman with men just dying to take his place in her heart!! Obviously that didn’t work. Plan B was a penguin. So much for the worst laid plans ever, but what else would one expect from a vapid dumbass like Scheana?

Pretending to be heterosexual? Sorry, not to say that Scheana doesn’t have the strange superpower of turning off most hetero men with prolonged exposure, but I get a totally stuck-in-the-closet vibe from Adam. Not to mention I’ve known two guys in my life who refused to go down on women, and they later turned out to be very much in sexual denial of their homosexuality within. Either way, I still felt kinda bad for Scheana, despite that messy self-absorbed shit-fit she threw at the party(like girl...when friggin’ Jax is telling you to get your shit together, you’ve got issues). That was neither the time nor place for them to hash all that out, but obviously it was good TV/more screentime for them so whatever. But here she’d thought she’d played it so coy and so cool in all that time, only for her sad little plan to blow up right in her face. And then clinging to him, grabbing him and repeatedly asking him if he loved her?! CRINGEY AF...she has all the sexual maturity of a sorority girl, seriously... On the flipside though, Adam is such a dick. Scheana may be too clingy and vapid for a healthy relationship, but that’s no excuse to lay sole claim on her pussy while refusing to service it properly and commit to her. What a weirdo. Despite that sweet moment with Lisa/Ken chatting honestly with Stassi/Beau, I admittedly didn’t care for Stassi’s dress at the party—-way too blousy and overwhelming on her and I didn’t like that heavy little dark purse matched with such an otherwise light floral dress. I liked Arianna’s dress the best: just beautiful, really nice color and design and just so Euro-chic; I could see Natalie Portman rocking that same frock. Looked like a surprisingly elegant and fun soirée overall though, gross beer bongs notwithstanding. Brittany was just glowing with happiness and love; really hope she and Jax do indeed make it. And thank god there was no stupid cake-smashing!!! Katie commenting on Adam and Scheana’s fight and that those two should “be like them;” ummmm, THAT’S rich. How pathetic was that dinner with Raquel and James? That had to hurt...knowing the whole cast is having a blast at the party of the season and you’re stuck enjoying an awkwardly forced date night otherwise. Looks like James did absolutely nothing to redeem himself at the reunion, although I did admittedly snort at him calling Brittany a hillbilly, even if it was cruel. Oh LaLa...just because you got a headpiece at Gucci doesn’t mean it looks good...even Gucci makes mistakes!(thank you for this infinite designer wisdom, Countess Lu)

It’s always so bittersweet when that happens. I gladly weaned myself off The Kardashian’s way back when, and then the Jersey Housewives after their second season...can barely tolerate Atlanta anymore unless it’s a random watch. Quit hate-watching “Tardy for the Party” completely and finally had enough of “Shahs of Sunset” for good and quit them this last season. I’m genuinely fearful that I may have had enough of the “Southern Charm” crew now that T-Rav is completely gone and the core cast left is mostly just random younger folks and not the OG’s. Gonna be a sad day when/if I finally say farewell to these guys, but they’re all getting older and can’t work/party in the bars forever.

Oh I am LIVING for this entire mess of a story...LaLa’s man ain’t so manly after all, is he? What a sniveling little rat he’s proven to be! I’ve never seen such groveling from a grownassed man; and then letting his trashy golddigger fiancée get involved in this mess?! Ouch!!! LaLa better watch herself; like others have mentioned, that kind of confident smugness might just blow up in her face if she’s not more careful; that marriage certificate hasn’t even been signed yet, girl! Although wouldn’t it be hilarious if it turned out to be a frontin’ loser who wasn’t as rich as he let on? Yeah, let’s see how much you love your tubby old man then, LaLa. The fact that 50 Cent aka “Fofty” posted that pathetic exchange about being in Rand’s wedding is so delightfully messy. Like he ain’t got shit else to do indeed!! The memes stemming from this are also pretty hilarious. Man, I tell ya...I would NOT wanna get on Fiddy’s bad side. That dude is petty AF and I am *here* for it!! https://instagram.com/therealfoftycent?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1azdekegzpwdz

I think Brittany is being a bit of a psycho about this petty bullshit, but whatever. So you think people are snarking about you at work; get over it and keep kicking ass—-the people who matter will notice your hard work. Her whole speech to her gross bored musician boyfriend(is he stoned every time they film?) about “playing chess” was so stupidly self-important. Girl, you work with a bunch of catty basic famewhores at a generic shop that’ll likely be closed in several years; go manage a Banana Republic if you’re that bugged by your dumbass coworkers and determined to “grow with the company”.

Amen to that: his hair alone looks majorly better. Who knew a fresh divorce from Reagan would be such a good look on him? He seemed like such a kind and sweet man whom she didn’t appreciate at all; I think the idea of eventually being his caretaker was way too much for a self-centered princess like her to handle. Go figure that she’s already moving on to Husband/Mealticket #2. Kelsey is kinda pathetic...a 30-something woman just waiting around on a goofy guy(who thinks he’s way hotter than he is) like Justin to propose while you live together in his parents’ house? Please. There are surely better options in The Big Easy; she must have horrible self-esteem. Glad to see this show get another chance! Lord knows it’s way better than the abysmal Savannah tragedy was.

I think it’s just a matter of them all still being the same cheap drunks they always were—-even though they’re making decent dough these days, they’ll always be in touch with their struggling early days as “mactors” just trying to get by and enjoy a free buzz now and then. Like I’m sure in Stassi’s mind, a night of free drinks is equivalent to an extra Botox treatment or a pair of designer shoes. Why waste that extra disposable income on booze when you can get it free? Speaking of Stassi, the idea of her raising anything beyond another purse dog is frightening—-she may have grown up a lot in the past few years but she still seems way too selfish and immature for motherhood. Lord knows her own mom is enough of a melodramatic basketcase, so my prayers go out to the future potential spawn of Stassi...ditto the spawn of manchild Schwartz and fishwife Katie. Oddly enough, I think Brittany and Jax are probably the only couple on this show that would make decent parents...and maybe Sandoval/Ariana too, if only because I’m sure FI Tom would have more fun dressing up his kid than any of the women on this show combined.

I just started following Tinsley’s mother Dale on Instagram, which is a kinda funny follow because it’s obvious that Dale wants to be the next Patricia Altschul(from “Southern Charm”). Same emphasis on luxury home decor pics/tips, similar society snapshots and upscale family photos...Dale obviously isn’t nearly as charming/rich/glamorous as Patricia, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she finds inspiration from Pat’s own brand of Bravolebrity style. Plus they both just want their kids to marry well and have grandkids. Which kinda makes me wish Tinsley could end up with Patricia’s son Whitney, but I think he’s way too artsy-fartsy and disdainful of the society scene to dare take notice of her. Plus he’d probably consider her way too vapid and aged for his pretentiously dilettante tastes(honestly, all the guys on that show date younger anyway)... Makes me sad to see how Tinsley’s wasted so much valuable time pinning away for Scott. I hope she at least got some good vacations and presents out of him since he got her an extra season of a RH storyline from this mess. She definitely has a type: controlling, dominant and not considerate of her own needs.

And what about that scene she filmed smooching on a gal for that raunchy soft-porn film she did a zillion years ago?(the one where Ramona once gasped about how she had SEX on a WATERBED!)

I’m guessing it’s because she’s such a train wreck otherwise that’s she’s become unintentional comic relief? From her derp-faced vacant stare to her dumbassed comments and her blind desperation to be relevant within this group when she isn’t being James’ slave 24/7(seriously, does she even have a job or anything else going on?!), she’s almost fascinatingly idiotic and pathetic. And I don’t even think it’s an act; she honestly makes Scheana look like a Mensa member. LaLa’s “performance”...good lord...that was some tortured stripper realness right there. I’m admittedly kinda proud of Stassi for her book deal, even though it looks like she put far more emphasis on the book’s photo shoot than the actual...book. It’s a funny idea and it’s even funnier that she managed to be the first and only author among this group of morons(ahem, Arianna; whatever happened to that cocktail book/series she never mentioned again?!).

I think they both just need to learn to work on delivery and compromise in this situation: Stassi needs to quit turning into a whiney psycho if he dares to urge her to join in on a group party night while on vacay. And Beau needs to quit pouting and claiming to be a “battered wife” when she naturally is ready for them both to return to their room as a unified couple by 2 or 3am. At his age and at this stage in their relationship, I do find it a bit odd that Beau wants to keep drinking with those guys long past 3am...why lose an entire day from a trip because you wanted to keep drinking until 5 or 6am? I find that far more worrisome than Stassi constantly guiltily harping at him about why she likes to go back to the room earlier as a couple. Not everyone likes to party til they puke on vacay and that’s okay!

Right?! I dunno if it’s just cheap extensions or she’s not caring for them properly or a combo of both, but her hair is way too long and greasy/gross on her. She looks so much cuter/fresher with the shorter hair she was rocking season or so ago. And did you see those hideous fake lavender nails of hers? Can you imagine how much grease/food gets under those claws?! She just looks so dirty/gross this season. Speaking of gross, what was LaLa doing just showing up to work in what looked to be a sports bra and no shirt?! I’m convinced she did that purely for reaction from Lisa in a scene. That was way extreme, even for her thirst trap ways. As for her “anxiety attacks”, she was beyond tiresome at that dinner, dramatically demanding the other girls hold her and cling to her...anxiety doesn’t usually involve begging for excessive touching and stunt queening, but whatever; loved how Stassi dismissively rolled her eyes and shut that shit down immediately. Wish Stassi could’ve been just as strong with Beau as he stunt queened away with his own supposed anxiety rash(could barely tell the rash from those tacky tats of his). Was he going for an Emmy with that dramatic morning after theater he was presenting? Sheesh...so they both got really drunk and had a disagreement about vacay fun/expectations. They both said some stupid shit. They *both* needed to just apologize and move on—-they key to a healthy relationship is fighting clean and making love dirty, after all. Talk about melodrama. Billie is way too OTT; weeping and cursing at work like that(to her BOSS!!) was ludicrous. And she wonders why she’s not getting an engagement party invite? She’s a dumpster fire who rages at every event; why would Jax/Brittany even want her around at their party? Maybe she can start taking an anger management course along with all her extra hormones. The puppy party saga...I’ve been to a puppy party: they’re so fun!! I’d go to a puppy party, just not with James and Raquel(although Graham is adorable). Raquel is indeed a dim bulb; what kind of moron doesn’t know who Charles Manson is?! And then her mousy little cracking voice coupled with her dumb derp face doesn’t help things. And she somehow graduated from college?! So Sandoval is gone from SUR officially...bittersweet indeed...they’ll miss him there.

THANK YOU, @Tatum!!! Oh god, the early-mid aughts were so hilariously random like that...can you even imagine?! Now I’m going to picture a European(fancy!!) donkey every time I see her snorting and guffawing onscreen. Maybe Jay can bring some smell donkeys to their farm to raise.

Thank you and glad my musings entertained you!! It was a shitty party and we were among the oldest peeps in the room, but it was mildly entertaining to actually be in a scene these basics were filming after hate-watching this shit for so long. Maybe because I’m over 35 and not a size 2 or under was the reason she flashed a quick sneer at me; my friend and I didn’t fit in with the LA hipster-douche vibes most of those folks there were sporting. Plus I was simultaneously Instagram storying and snickering at it all when she cast her side-eye my way—-maybe she’s a lip-reader because I do remember clearly saying on my story, “Damn, look at this fuckery...what a shitshow.” Speaking of shitshows: the UJ Yelp page is a goldmine of laughs!!