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SnarkEnthusiast

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Everything posted by SnarkEnthusiast

  1. Jonathan's delusional boner for Justin cost the house $250,000, lmao. Paige is a good friend but it seems like no one in the house is interested in her romantically, except maybe Remy. Remy is my fave in the house, everyone gives him shit for being a ho but he seems like a genuinely kind man and the only real open-minded person in the house in terms of actually being willing to date anyone, especially people who have been overlooked by the rest of the house (Paige and Basit).
  2. Exactly! It's like an odd crossover of Glee and a Dickens play.
  3. I skipped most of this one because musical episodes are just cast showcases that do nothing for the plot and Pray's Candy hallucinations are getting straight up corny. Her funeral episode was already pushing it, and now she's his imaginary friend? Ok then.
  4. I guess they're doing the whole "shy character finally gets a taste of power and becomes a douche until they come crashing back to earth when [insert bad event] happens" thing, which I'm guessing in this case will be getting outed as a cam girl, although the impact of that is definitely lessened by the non-event of her unknown sex tape being leaked. It thought it was significant that Ethan was the first one to focus on/care about her pleasure first, which made me even sadder that she mocked the idea he had feelings for her and was basically bullying him into mindless sex.
  5. I agree that they might be laying the groundwork for Rue/Lexi romance, which I'm down for because Jules is cagey and exhausting. All this talk of Rue being a needy clinger picking Jules as her next addiction but at least she knows herself. Jules just seems desperate for attention but also oddly cold about it. For an ambiguously bisexual trans Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Jules sure is boring. I have nothing else to say about Mckay other than his life makes me sad and he deserves better. Kat's cruel treatment of her adorable crush Ethan continues to frustrate me, especially mocking him for being a virgin when she was a virgin what, a month ago or less? That kind of belittling wouldn't exactly put me in the mood to go down on her. You're not some sex goddess because you let old dudes jack off to you via Skype and then fucked a carnie. He was a trooper for trying. I know the narrative wants us to feel bad for Kat because she fears getting rejected again due to her weight, but she's just...such an asshole to him. And of course she ran away because she thought Ethan was stalling penetrating her because he finds her unsexy (which...ok he just ate you out) when in reality he was embarrassed about jizzing his pants. Gah! (Admittedly I don't understand why that was an obstacle - everything else is wet so who would really notice?)
  6. Tattoo dude wins MVP this ep for calling out Caro's baby voice. Too bad he then fed into her "charm" delusion instead of being honest that every time she does that toddler act it makes guys softer than a stick of room temperature butter. Disappointed in Zac...well, acting 21. How convenient that he's suddenly bug-eyed over the new girls and sheepish about his relationship status the day after making a grand ceremony out of giving Elizabeth the "title." Kyra sucks too. I dislike Cash's smugness, but the fact that Kyra seems to get off on making people want her only to dump them for the thrill and self-created drama of stringing them along...she has time waster written all over her. Weston and Not Mallory - I feel bad for Katrina, but she's way too metropolitan and worldly for him. This new girl seems much more impressed by his country life, which he'll eat up. Yamen gets weirder every week. He and Caro are twin flames in the "hot people whose bizarre tryhard personalities ruin their sex appeal" department. He has the persona of an alcoholic 45-year-old who cheats on his wife with 19-year-old strippers.
  7. Word has it that Demi Lovato has been flirting with him on social media, so he has one hell of a fallback option if BiP doesn't work out.
  8. Eh, I had a little less sympathy for the guy on Evil Lives Here. I get lying to CPS because their mom was in the interview room (wtf), but he got a little older and even after he was pulled out of school, he still could've told plenty of people at work what was happening. How can you just shrug and go about your daily life in the outside world knowing your sister has been chained to a table for years, especially when she was forced to go back under with an untreated gunshot wound? The brainwashing excuse only carries you so far. That's an appalling lack of empathy.
  9. Nate is white and Mckay is black. Nate could murder Maddy and it would still be romanticized. Nate will always be perceived as sexy and brooding, whereas Mckay will be written off for every tiny mistake.
  10. Jules/Rue, while kind of a wet blanket for shipping fodder, is actually a pretty accurate portrayal of high school relationships/friends-to-lovers awkwardness where one person isn't really into it but feels guilt/pressure to try and make it work. Why are so many kids at this high school having sex with men in their 40s?? Re: the setting/time period dissonance, I think that's a result of writers who were already teens/in their 20s by the aughts trying to imagine these characters' early childhoods and blending it with their own childhood pop culture, which doesn't make sense if we're talking about 2011-2015ish (now I feel old). This still feels like an oversexed Skins (if that's possible) with better cinematography. Fans will fawn over Nate no matter what because he's a hot white guy.
  11. Ah, another ray of sunshine in a string of super uplifting, not at all depressing episodes! Not really worried for Pray because Billy Porter does the most heavy lifting acting-wise by far.
  12. This season is painfully scripted to shoehorn everything into the "CATFISH FIRST!" theme, which is mentioned at least 4 times an ep. There's no way Nev had suspicions about Taylor from their bland 5 min introduction. And Nev angrily "confronting" Taylor & co. was laughably bad acting. Tallulah did seem high.
  13. This show continues to bore me, which is a shame because I love the delicious train wreck of The Fosters. There's zero momentum. Is every episode of the series going to feature Callie waffling between panty dropper Gael and stable Jaime? I rolled my eyes into the sun when Gael's new old boyfriend was revealed as a...secret art villain or something. Callie's vagina apparently marks you for life and you'll be miserable until you go back to her. And these "wah my rich boyfriend will bankroll everything in my life but I'm too woke/deep to settle for vapid suburbia!" plots that are supposed to make the protagonist look like a Spunky Feminist just make them look like entitled assholes. Joey is a human wet blanket. As someone above said, they're always making Alice feel bad about everything. Apparently Joey is the gatekeeper of all things queer and nothing Alice does is right. Joey and Alice's relationship is joyless, which isn't helped by weak acting. At least Lindsay's arrogance and pettiness means they'd probably be hot in the sack. Alice should go for it.
  14. I know, that's why I swiped right when I found her on Tinder!😉
  15. Sure, in general. But Jonathan has gone out of his way to kind of emotionally manipulate Basit by telling them they might be his perfect match and how compatible they are, only to repeatedly cite being disgusted with Basit's femininity as the reason why he "can't force himself" to be attracted to them. "Preferences" are one thing (albeit a little dicey because particularly exclusionary preferences tend to boil down to "you can't make me feel bad for not wanting minorities in my dating pool!"), but it comes off as more of a dig at Basit's gender expression than anything. Also, regardless, if Jonathan's sooo not into Basit, he needs to stop flirting with them!
  16. The narrative pacing of this season is really bizarre. Every third episode returns to one plot that could've/arguably should've been a C-plot with (almost) zero reference to any other plot. Not to mention the tonal whiplash: "Nail salon! Papi and Angel almost date but just kidding! Woops, Electra killed a dude. Candy was murdered. But Damon and Ricky get along now! Next week Pray might die but hey, maybe the stress will drive Papi and Angel to finally fuck!" This episode was light but also light on substance. Damon and Ricky are still very juvenile and it makes their plots kind of annoying even when they get along. Ricky has a cute smile though. Swoon. I'm surprised they didn't get canned immediately for the obvious homoeroticism during their TV shoot lol. Papi is supportive, but stupid, to hinge him having sex with Angel on her presumed modeling success, haha. They just need to drag them having sex out until the finale. How's that plot resolution going to go? "I know you were willing to drop me for CVS fame last month, but you booked another drugstore makeup campaign and/or we're filled with existential fear because our friends are dying, so let's bang!!!" They need to build them back up a little first, with Angel hopefully making it clear how much Papi means to her, because it still feels a bit like Angel is toying with Papi out of boredom/low self-esteem. Also, Angel the actor (Papi) playing someone who's in love with a character named Angel must get SO confusing during scenes!
  17. Jonathan's behavior is pretty typical of standard dating hypocrisy. If someone you're not attracted to won't stop pursuing you, it's "They're pressuring me and making me uncomfortable! Why won't they just respect that they're not my type?" But then as soon as you are the one attracted to someone who obviously isn't into you, it's "They're leading me on! Why can't they see I'm what's best for them?!" Clearly Jenna and Kai didn't watch last season when everyone sat with their perfect match at the final ceremony and then went back to the house and celebrated by having sex with whoever they'd been dating the whole time LOL. I think Jenna was just using the algorithm as an excuse to break up because she knows that they aren't good for each other and won't last, but Kai's very dramatic resistance gets her motor running and is sucking her back in.
  18. oh man please please don't take this personally but this made me laugh. You think Baldcap Jerry Seinfeld has BDE??? Of course everyone gets an opinion, but some 35-year-old weenie who wears a sunhat and blurts out "I love you" to some rando sunburnt woman he's known less than a week because she made him cum (and likely professed this alleged love during said climax) screams more "adult virgin" than BDE, imo.
  19. Jenna and Kai aren't that deep - they're just turned on by fighting and now it makes them horny they're not a match and pissing off the house by continuing to fuck. The Notebook this isn't. Nour really revealed herself to be a giant asshole this week. Calling Paige an ugly ostrich would be immature for a sixth grader. She's got major narcissism and control issues. I hope Amber and Paige are a match just to spite her. Jonathan is shady with drunkenly kissing Basit and saying they could be a match and then arbitrarily picking Brandon "because he looks like that." Basit, I repeat, please love yourself!
  20. Maybe I'm alone in this, but that episode was excruciatingly boring. I didn't watch the first block, and I'm clearly behind because I had no idea who Davia was and spent the majority of the episode not only mistaking Dennis for her current boyfriend, but being profoundly disturbed that he likely fucked her mom before they got together. I feel like her mom's take on the body positive movement was actually a pretty common one, not that her opinion was right, but the show was really laying it on thick In making her some sort of mustache twirling evil caricature. And of course she doesn't just fat shame, she is also slutty. Because of course she is. Callie just sucks. The writers must really be pandering to high school/college viewers because there's no way someone who attended law school and graduated would be foolish enough to still be running around like a 16-year-old social justice warrior. There is being true to character and then there's outright naivete. Not to sound old because I'm only 27, but the mindset that your own moral superiority trumps everything in any given situation just doesn't work in real world environments. You have to learn to pick your battles. It was hilarious that she accidentally walked in on her superiors shit talking her. Mariana is in the world's least riveting love triangle. I don't get what she sees in her boss. And immediately after getting out of an awkward inappropriate workplace dynamic after being outed dating her subordinate, she thinks it's a good idea to flirt with her boss? So all the men in her office either root for her failure because they hate her or help her succeed because they're attracted to her? Uhhhh, the writers are definitely missing their own point with the whole "woman takes on a male dominated industry" thing. Now that you mention it, having the rest of the characters outside of Callie and Mariana only appear on a rotating C-plot basis is kind of annoying.
  21. Well, Candy definitely went out with a bang trying to shank Pray with a butter knife in a diner. This episode was depressing as fuck, but had good intentions. I'm going to push back a little against the glowing reviews and say the execution was a little self-indulgent and ham fisted. It makes since that Pray would hallucinate/be visited by Candy because he feels guilty about their recent antagonism (same applies to her parents), but spending a third of the episode on half a dozen characters having individual sage wisdom sessions from the Ghost of Candy was definitely a case of diminishing returns emotionally. What is this, A Christmas Carol? And since when were she and Angel so close? And talk about the irony of helping your friend cover up a murder one week and becoming the body the next. I liked that they thought to redo her hair and makeup (but didn't complain to the nice undertaker) and of course her post-mortem lip sync swan song.
  22. This show makes me so thankful nudes weren't a thing when I was in high school. Sad to see Rue's sister following her footsteps. Nate is a calculating bastard. Maddie and Ye Olde Carousel Masturbator are the worst actors on this show by far. I still think Jules is using Rue as a security blanket/backup option. It's a little smarmy to conveniently decide to reciprocate immediately after your Plan A went south. I was glad the "misread situation" with Kat's crush was her jumping to conclusions about his coworker, rather than her being friendzoned again. But was fucking the townie necessary???
  23. Adopting polyamory would be peak Callie, since she has a new crush every three weeks, can never drop a love interest, and is obsessed with giving them all just enough attention to ensure that they'll stay infatuated and prioritize her random whims over any subsequent long-term relationship if they dare to try and move on. I'd like to see her pitch being in a throuple to Gael and the other dude, but Callie strikes me much more as a "I'm dating other people and you're going to be ok with it" type of poly.
  24. Sure, I'll try to help! All of the contestants are bisexual so anyone could theoretically end up with anyone, which is supposed to be the appeal of this season, but seems to be throwing most viewers for a loop. Kai is the only self identified transgender person in the cast (female to male). Paige is just a skinny, androgynous cisgender (the term for "not transgender") girl. As a bisexual woman with a growing preference for women, I can see how it would be possible to think that some of the participants are actually gay, especially with the men because we equate any effeminate tendencies in men with homosexuality and in general society is skeptical that men can even be bisexual, and that bisexual men only identify as such as a stepping stone to being gay. On that note, I felt bad for Basit - it's obvious that Jonathan has a lot of issues with internalized homophobia and especially disgust with femininity in men, As he went on and on about how he only likes femininity in women and could NEVERRRR be attracted to a feminine masculine person. Only BIG BEEFY BRAWNY BEEFCAKES for him! Which is ironic because Basit is actually very fit and muscular, but Jonathan can't deal with Basit wearing skirts and eyeshadow. Basit was right to call out Jonathan for basically suggesting that he should be with Danny because they're both effeminate. At the same time, Basit picking Jonathan at the match ceremony was stupid. Dealing with dating biases sucks, but you can't guilt trip or lecture or bully someone into being attracted to you, and you should respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better than constantly trying to convince someone to see you that way.
  25. Yes! The way they showed the woman skulking around after Jack made me think she was involved in a plot to expose him as a fraud, so I was relieved when it was revealed that she was just another mega fan expressing gratitude for Jack reviving the Beatles' music and shepherding it back into pop culture.
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