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SnarkEnthusiast

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Everything posted by SnarkEnthusiast

  1. Billy can also get fucked with his weak ass "But I just need things about both! Neither can give me everything I need!" excuse. That's a very tired, sex and genitalia-focused take on pansexuality, especially since pansexuality is supposed to mean gender doesn't factor into who you're attracted to. And the implication was heavily sexual and not "I have different emotional dynamics with men and women." I hate the myth that bi/pan people are self-absorbed nymphomaniacs who are miserable without 24/7 on-call access to dick AND vagina. And if everyone wants to be poly or open the relationship, great, but don't use your sexuality to gaslight your partners into accepting an open relationship by telling them that they're "missing" something and could never satisfy you. Who says that to people they claim to love? Pitch your shitty passive aggressive open relationship to Max and Lexi, you sentient hemorrhoid. Remember when Billy pouted and whined for days because Lexi had the audacity to date someone else in front of him and was therefore a terrible person for not caring about his feelings?
  2. Alexis is a glutton for punishment. Arianna thinks she's majorly upgrading with Mechie, but it's basically the Cameron situation 2.0. There was no point in bringing the booted twin back except to pretend Lexi might not pick Max. Geles deserves better. All the men in the house are garbage. Speaking of which, Aubrey and Billy both suck. They're on the same level as Cameron and Mechie, but got away with it because they're bi/pan, which is bullshit. Bi/pansexuality does not mean coerced polyamory!!! Aubrey lead Coffey on the whole time even though there was never a chance she wouldn't pick Mark, then made a big show of "choosing herself" to look like a good person by sparing Coffey's feelings, then tells Mark she has no plans to stop fucking him as soon as they're alone. And Billy manipulated Emily and Tyler, who are both hopelessly and inexplicably infatuated with him, into an "open relationship" despite both of them telling him how much they hate the idea at every opportunity. Fuck Aubrey and Billy. Being attracted to multiple genders doesn't mean you get a free pass to be a manipulative piece of shit!! I'm weirdly rooting for Devin and Shannon.
  3. Whenever I see the Browns desperately hawking Lularoe all I can think about is the mini-documentary where women talk about how Lularoe ruined their lives by bankrupting them with mandatory product minimums, weird high school clique mean girl mentality, and moldy clothes:
  4. I checked this out because I saw it was getting buzz on some of the other boards I read, and I love Michael Sheen, but ultimately I’m not sure about it. Above all, the flat, high school play-style delivery of Malcolm’s actor really takes me out of the scenes, especially when he’s playing armchair psychiatrist and supposed to be delivering all of these Sherlock-esque one liners. Ultimately it still feels like a dollar store House/Bates Motel crossover. Like others, I was also distracted by the fact that Malcolm’s mom only looks about 10 years older than him, as well as their halfhearted attempt at incest subtext. If you’re not going to go full on Norman Bates kiss me on the mouth, hallucinating your mom during sex, go home. Again, Malcolm’s actor is so, so bad. Is he trying for the budding sociopath flat affect? I agree that it’s pretty obvious he’s going to wind up to be a red herring and his sister is going to be the secretly unhinged one.
  5. And he literally only pops up to physically block CB from making a move. Although, given that we know Barry marries that rando introduced in the field day ep of The Goldbergs, why even bother dragging out a couple that we know isn't endgame?
  6. The ending (with the couple) was adorable! As for sudden CB/Lainey angst, that came out of nowhere, and they recycled the finale. Who loses to Barry??? Barry/Lainey are those annoying high school sweethearts who think they're superior to all couples because they started dating at 16. I agree with @cardigirl that Brett Dier does pining really, really well.
  7. I like Shaun's interactions with asshole conspiracy dude because for once the writers didn't lean on "Shaun's autism prevents him from understanding any social nuance" and allowed him to be clever in a non-medical context re: feeding into his "poisoned" narrative to satisfy him. Glassman is an overgrown 5-year old and Claire's spiral reeks of cliches (they really aren't trying to hide the fact that Claire's mom/her death is a naked plot device, huh?).
  8. As a 90s kid, I was ALL ABOUT CB's epic Tamagotchi tie. I get that Lainey is unfortunately still with Ghost Barry, but did the writers forget her thing with CB? Last season ended on him gazing longingly after her, so I thought we'd at least get some awkwardness/pining. They've barely interacted this season! Meanwhile, she's had tons of (unintentional?) romantic scenes with Mellor.
  9. I didn't know he was gay until after I watched Fleabag and read some interviews, actually! It sounds like that while he's proud to be gay, he also doesn't want to be artistically limited by that label. Which makes sense - the whole point of acting is to take on identities different from your own! I've always found the whole "gay men can't convincingly play straight" idea to be ridiculous, especially when the media fawns all over straight men for being "brave" and "secure enough in their sexuality" to play gay (...questionable if they need heaps of praise for doing it). Look at the self-congratulatory press tour for Call Me By Your Name just last year. I think it's great that Scott doesn't allow everyone else's assumptions about his sexuality to dictate or impact his performances. The Priest is hot as fuck, and Scott being gay in real life is irrelevant to that. Now, if you're asking whether women being so horny for him as a result of Fleabag would be impacted if more of them knew he was gay...I doubt realism factors into masturbating to a fictional character/actor, lol. Hey, I might not have a chance with Scott, but The Priest is always available. 😉
  10. PWB's monologue was stellar, but other than that, the weak writing kind of squandered her talents. The biggest laughs (imo) were the morning show and the wartime letters and she didn't do the heavy lifting in either. And for a (rising) A-List British actor, her American accent was surprisingly shaky! At least she seemed to be having a good time - I love her. Apparently Pete is taking time off to film the new Suicide Squad movie? Which...since when does he have an "acting career"? And I didn't know you could take a sabbatical from SNL lol.
  11. At least Murray was the sabotaging parent for once. All the Goldbergs are self-absorbed goobers when it comes to love plots, so Adam's storyline tracks. Was that actually Dana's original actress, or is this another Jackie recasting situation? Holy cow, those flashbacks of tiny middle school Adam only made it more apparent that the actor is now 20+. He's small, but not that small! Making Barry and Erica roommates seemed like a very contrived way to extend their shelf life. Erica would hate that. I'd rather see them in their own plots.
  12. Hey! They made Dex bi after all! Sweet. I enjoyed that Grey isn't a pining Nice Guy and just decided they'd be better friends after Dex's self-pitying monologue of emotionally unavailable bullshit. Also, making him an ex-car thief is a pretty sexy detail. Nick Miller After Dark! I also really enjoyed the tiny detail of Ansel immediately picking up on Grey's con friend being shady, instead of predictably getting duped into leading him to the valuables. You go Ansel! Michael Ealy is as pretty as he is bland. Eternally delighted by the obnoxiously loud, cheesy 80s/90s music that drowns out every implausibly choreographed combat scene.
  13. Off topic, but the guy who took the skateboard to the face was pretty hot. I liked the little detail of Emily's little sister having autism because it's very true to life. In my experience as a disabled person, able people generally only go out of their way to talk to/befriend you if they have a personal connection to the community (disabled friend/family member, special ed teacher, therapist, etc). Melendez/Lim continue to be the sexiest boring couple ever. Are Reznick and Park going to continue blowing raspberries at each other like 10-year-olds all season? Either kiss or fight, but do it soon because I'm bored already. Lea has been, dare I say, palatable since they finally toned down the manic pixie dream girl and shifted to making her Shaun's bro/wingman (for now). Please keep it that way. Claire's mom looks the same age as her!
  14. I...found Andrei kind of hot? He actually seemed very playful and was laughing and teasing a lot. Pillow Talk has just convinced me 80% of the show is producer meddling. The couples that we think are miserable like David/Annie and Libby/Andrei are the ones that seem to truly enjoy each other's company. And I do kind of have to laugh that Kalani/Kolini happily jumped on the Pillow Talk paycheck train after whining for months that TLC was essentially defaming their family by falsely portraying them as racists. But Kalani is actually one of the funnier participants on the show!
  15. In general I would agree with you, but you have to remember that Daniel is already about four times smarter and more rational than both of them combined. Tiffany is manipulating Daniel's very valid emotions to support her narrative of the day, because then she can blame the decision on Daniel. “Oh honey, I wanted to stay, but Daniel was miserable!” Or, conversely, she pressures Daniel to want to stay or at the very least feel guilty about wanting to leave because of his highly inappropriate, premature attachment to Ronald as a father figure, a false dynamic that she has encouraged from day one. Also, most parents relocate due to a work reassignment/job change, not international ass chasing. Neither of these losers work and Daniel clearly isn't in school, so he basically has nothing to do other than sit around and watch them make eyes at each other like horny teenagers. And I don’t think “I wish we could go back home where we had actual playgrounds and didn’t have to live behind barbed wire” is an unreasonable or bratty feeling to have. On top of everything, he went from living with his grandma and Tiffany’s adorable baby sister who he clearly adores to some deadbeat, dead-eyed rando who cheerfully tells him that he’s probably going to get abducted. So no, I don’t think Daniel is the brat in this situation. Fuck Tiffany for her negligence and for prioritizing dick over her children.
  16. I'm a few weeks late, but Janet Mock has officially confirmed she's dating Angel Bismark Curiel (who plays Papi) and she apparently left her husband for him. I'm curious to know what "in a very jarring way" is code for, lol. And I would hope you wouldn't initially be in a romantic headspace, you were married to someone else - and only for three years! Don't get me wrong, I have a massive crush on Angel and wouldn't be able to resist his advances, but I do feel kind of bad for her husband, even if they are an impossibly gorgeous power couple. Between this and Orange is the New Black, hot actors waste no time in seducing writers away from their new spouses, haha. Glad they're happy anyway!
  17. WHY are we still dealing with Barry as an off-screen side character?!? He quite literally doesn't even go here! Even though Lainey/CB is obvious endgame, this episode was giving me unintentional chemistry all over the place. There's definite tension between CB and the new teacher, but they'd never go there because she's too old (which is a double standard because media romanticizes the shit out of women in their 20s/30s falling for men in their 40s/50s all the time). And...okay, I know Mellor is supposed to be her mentor but the actor is just so goddamn sincere that all of their confidante scenes have romantic undertones to me. But again, he was her high school teacher and also too old. I wonder who they'll introduce as CB's roadblock love interest? Anybody has to be cooler and more jealousy-inducing than Barry.
  18. Geoff continues to be the best at being the almost irritatingly cheerful Supportive Boyfriend. "I followed your suitcases like breadcrumbs!" I wish they'd do a slight time jump of even just a year or two - the kids are all very clearly much older than their supposed ages, especially Barry with that hairline. It's weird to watch a man who looks to be in his late 20s freak out about being a college freshman. But hey, it now apparently works for his mostly off-screen recurring role on Schooled! (why?? why did we have to drag that relationship into the spin off when he's not even on it?) 90% of episodes are some variation of "The kids are terrible to Bev and Erica is stressed about Geoff."
  19. Also...the confessional (kneel) scene. Holy shit. I've been thinking about that for days. The tension. The taboo. The vulnerability. The sheer eroticism of all the charged silences. The unmistakable dom/sub subtext. That superb monologue by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. One of the best scenes of anything I've seen, ever. Poor Andrew Scott has unwittingly subjected himself to years of being the object of everyone's lust - tons of women have openly tweeted about how horny that scene makes them in graphic detail (tweets that Graham Norton read aloud when Andrew was a guest on his show). He blushed his way through the other guest on the show casually admitting that she masturbated to that scene, a confession that apparently delighted PWB as she took it as a huge compliment to her writing, lol. More on his interpretation of that scene (he clearly doesn't like watching himself!):
  20. I couldn't recommend anything more. I'm being 100% genuine when I say that S2 of Fleabag is one of the most well-executed, funny, and poignant masterpieces television has ever had to offer. The episodes are usually under 30 mins each (six eps per season), so you can binge the entire show in about six hours.
  21. Kids are typically cast for cuteness and not acting ability (with the rare exceptions being the Stranger Things kids and those twins from Jane the Virgin/Single Parents), so lack of skill/training becomes painfully apparent the older they get. That's my theory on why most child actors suck as adults and fail to make the transition into a real career. When you have everyone fawning over how amazing and special you are due to cuteness, you get a big ego and coast instead of working on the actual acting part. Either that, or as might be the case with Manny and Luke, they have no real interest in seriously pursuing acting as adults and are just biding time until their contracts run out. In fairness, when they were cast at 9/10, they could've never realized they'd still be doing the show at 20. In their case, I'd be annoyed that the writers hadn't been able to come up with any post-puberty plots for me beyond "horny pervert" or at best "pathetic loser tries to get girl." Manny in particular was a delightfully quirky child whose niche interests were funny, but as an adult those same personality traits make him come off as a pretentious, deluded incel. Haley and Alex especially just seem to hate being there.
  22. This episode was very boring. I don't buy everyone getting that worked up over a glorified Roomba. Like most comedies, things tend to get unbalanced when they try to tackle huge social justice issues. The Matteo drama just doesn't work when paired with inane shit like Lego escape plans and kiddie pools of rotten food. Amy and Jonah act like barely acquaintances -it's a struggle to remember they're a couple, much less living together. Dina's bird grudge is also getting old fast. We get it, her birds were her life and she's pissed. Not looking forward to half a season of her being passive aggressive towards Garrett before they inevitably hook up again. If we're saddling up for more tedious will they/won't they, at least make it sexy! Watching one character constantly beg for the other's forgiveness is a total buzzkill.
  23. Just popping by to say I am absolutely repulsed by the decision to reveal Janzo and Nia as twins all for a cheap laugh at Janzo. Can the poor man ever be taken seriously by anyone? Also, having the only two Indian characters turn out to be twins somehow feels even more racist than introducing an Indian woman solely to date the only other Indian character because he's not cool enough for the white girl. Their love story was so cute! Will he ever be allowed to just be happy?
  24. I initially avoided this show because I thought having female sex addiction as a premise would be used for cheap shock value, Fleabag is easily one of my favorite shows of all time. What a delightful gem. It really struck a nerve with me, given that 30 is around the corner and I also struggle with issues of self-worth and desirability. And hey, any show that features a guinea pig-themed restaurant is a hit in my book. I will never not be devastated that The Priest dumped her with mere minutes to go. But Jesus, that role made me see Andrew Scott in a whole new light. So effortlessly sexy. Her relationship with her sister was the heart of the show for me.
  25. So, Jake Johnson is playing Nick again? Lol. I understand Dex's brother is apparently from the comics, but as a disabled person myself, it makes me deeply uncomfortable when characters with disabilities are used as props to give other characters depth (Dex may be an alcoholic nymphomaniac with a gambling addiction and PTSD, but aww look, she has a heart!). Plus Not!Nick caring for Ansel is obviously adding points to his future bangability score in Dex's eyes, ugh. And given Dex's issues and new dangerous job, is she even a suitable guardian? I hope they let Ansel do more as the episodes go on. What?!? As your resident bisexual, while I love Michael Ealy, damn TPTB for depriving me of bisexual Colbie Smulders content!!!
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