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Everything posted by SnarkEnthusiast

  1. Sure, I'll try to help! All of the contestants are bisexual so anyone could theoretically end up with anyone, which is supposed to be the appeal of this season, but seems to be throwing most viewers for a loop. Kai is the only self identified transgender person in the cast (female to male). Paige is just a skinny, androgynous cisgender (the term for "not transgender") girl. As a bisexual woman with a growing preference for women, I can see how it would be possible to think that some of the participants are actually gay, especially with the men because we equate any effeminate tendencies in men with homosexuality and in general society is skeptical that men can even be bisexual, and that bisexual men only identify as such as a stepping stone to being gay. On that note, I felt bad for Basit - it's obvious that Jonathan has a lot of issues with internalized homophobia and especially disgust with femininity in men, As he went on and on about how he only likes femininity in women and could NEVERRRR be attracted to a feminine masculine person. Only BIG BEEFY BRAWNY BEEFCAKES for him! Which is ironic because Basit is actually very fit and muscular, but Jonathan can't deal with Basit wearing skirts and eyeshadow. Basit was right to call out Jonathan for basically suggesting that he should be with Danny because they're both effeminate. At the same time, Basit picking Jonathan at the match ceremony was stupid. Dealing with dating biases sucks, but you can't guilt trip or lecture or bully someone into being attracted to you, and you should respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better than constantly trying to convince someone to see you that way.
  2. Yes! The way they showed the woman skulking around after Jack made me think she was involved in a plot to expose him as a fraud, so I was relieved when it was revealed that she was just another mega fan expressing gratitude for Jack reviving the Beatles' music and shepherding it back into pop culture.
  3. This is a thoroughly delightful film. Himesh Patel has a really endearing, easygoing presence both in terms of chemistry with his fellow actors and performance. And hey, he's a pretty good singer, even if Summer Song won't be burning up the charts anytime soon. My favorite character was his oddly sweet lazy friend lol. The execution of the romance was a little clunky and seemed to be Ellie obsessing and convincing Jack that he had to have feelings for her, but their overall chemistry was sweet. Parts were a little bit of a tongue bath for Ed Sheeran, but I really enjoyed his role too. My one nitpick is Kate McKinnon's character felt out of step with the rest of them - mostly because she plays the exact same zany, bug-eyed SNL character in everything she's in. Her handful of insulting one-liners were amusing, but I found her distracting. She seems to find herself hilarious, which kind of sucks the oxygen from a lot of scenes.
  4. Zendaya as Rue still feels very "Disney star trying to break away from typecasting by picking the most gratuitously explicit role possible" but the breakdown was very good. My favorite part of the episode was the dick pic classroom lesson. The cutaways to Jules were so funny. Pay pigs are very much a real, and confusing (imo), subset of kink. Surely you can just jerk off the the fantasy of someone degrading you without draining your bank account? While Kat's in risky territory and her camming will inevitably go south, it's nice to see her gaining some confidence. Her fantasy about fucking the store employee was funny. Hopefully soon she'll hook up with that guy from bio who likes her. Her financial situation must be dire if she can't afford a $3.50 grapefruit. I agree. Jules is very one-dimensional manic pixie dream girl right now. But at the same time, she seemed caught off guard by Rue's romantic interest in her, so the lack of early romantic chemistry could just be attributed to her being so boy crazy and Grindr obsessed that she has never considered girls as an option before. Rue and Fez have great chemistry (not to mention he seems much more mature than Jules), but the writers are also probably very aware of their Gen Z audience. Tumblr has been losing its shit over Rue/Jules as a pairing for weeks, so even if Rue is bi, there's no way the writers would risk viewer outrage by passing up the progressive optics of Rue's potential gay relationship with a trans girl in favor of pairing her with a white guy.
  5. Regardless of what you think of Hannah, "I fucked in a windmill" has to be up there in terms of iconic Bachelor franchise quotes.
  6. Well, this show was never great but that was an impressively bad finale. So Dean has been a bumbling teddy bear the whole season and becomes a menacing murderer overnight with zero warning? Holy plot holes, Batman. Their sex scene was one of the most disturbing I've seen, which was especially disappointing as she was so excited to finally have healthy, not-escapism sex with someone she cared about. Jess and Felix are cute, but hitting Too Dumb To Live territory.
  7. Matt could be totally justified in shunning them - the problem is that between the editing and Matt's continued references to the divorce as the reason he cut ties, it makes him look like an overgrown toddler throwing a tantrum out of spite and someone who has a weird degree of entitlement and control issues over his parents' lives. Though I'm sure both the experts and Amber/Matt themselves will try to draw parallels, his situation is nothing like Amber's. Her mom moved states without warning, leaving her in a single parent household and (according to Amber) seemingly caring very little about maintaining her relationship with her daughters. For a 13-year-old girl, that would be devastating and I'm sure resentment his simmered for years. But she still invited her mom to the dress shopping, wedding, etc. Matt's parents got divorced when he was a self-sufficient 29-year-old man living abroad. He didn't grow up in a broken home and the divorce had zero impact on his income or stability or daily life. I think he very vaguely alluded to his dad cheating, but if that's the case, why punish both? There's clearly more to that story.
  8. Well, it definitely looks like Kai will be this season's Zak. He's the same brand of gleeful, shit eating fuckboy. Testosterone must be a hell of a hormone if it makes you so uncontrollably horny that you need to fuck someone else an hour after the girl you just had sex with went to sleep - lol, he's so full of shit. His girl (name???) is going to become the new Morgan if she doesn't wake up soon. I think Kai is still high off both men and women now perceiving him as irresistibly sexy as a man, which I'm sure would be a big anxiety prior to transitioning, so I can't fault him on that front, but he's still kind of a shitty opportunistic person. I guess this show is the perfect playground to revel in your male puberty. It was super fucking rude of him during the match ceremony when Danny was listing all Kai's qualities that he found attractive and Kai wouldn't even make eye contact before totally brushing him off. We found the one person in the house Kai doesn't want to bang! I don't get all the fuss over Nour, who just seems okay. Amber was practically peeing on her (not like that, Remi) to mark her territory from the minute they talked. It read as very desperate and off putting. Then Justin got all pissy with Nour for "wasting his time" with one date/make out and a confirmed non-match...chill bud, it's not like you were dating a month. Kylie is the cutest girl in the house to me personally and I think she has good chemistry with both Kali and Basit. I saw Paige on Tinder a few weeks ago lol so it's so weird seeing her on the show. She seems very awkward and I'm not sure any of the women will have the patience to hold her hand through socially coming out, as she basically admitted having zero experience with women (which seemed to turn Jasmine off on their date). It makes me laugh that most of the guys in the house all seem to share a little torch for Justin.
  9. Wonderful analysis. I love this. I just hope the writers can execute it in a way that values Papi's character and isn't just Angel using him for comfort/settling for him when her flash in the pan fame burns out. It would be unfair to him if he's on the sidelines hoping to be her security blanket whenever her career has a hiccup.
  10. Well, I never would've thought the Angel/Papi romance would be a B-plot to manslaughter cover up, but I guess that's just this show for you. Hiding a body was surprisingly a fun romp in the park compared to the lead balloon of Angel walking all over Papi. Who would've thought murder would depress me less than romance! Re: Angel/Papi, That just… wasn't what I was expecting in the most disappointing, underwhelming way possible. Yes I'm being slightly overdramatic and I'm sure that they will course correct by the finale, but I've been giddy with excitement over how they'd finally hookup for weeks. They are both such happy, lively characters and I was looking forward to how their dynamic would evolve. The whole thing was so weirdly melancholy the whole episode, from their first kiss onward. It almost felt like when two characters hook up after a funeral, but it was only her modeling competition. Papi's visceral desperation for love was physically painful and honestly made me sad. We often think of Angel as the insecure character, but Papi is outright begging for anyone to show him a shred of affection. Angel had barely pulled away from kissing him (which, by the way, Indya Moore really went for lol that kiss went on forever and looked sloppy) before he's frantically reassuring her that he loved it and already rambling on about how she's his dream girl or whatever. That sudden declaration that he's had a thing for her ever since he first saw her really threw me for a loop because as much as I've always enjoyed their friendship and now their chemistry, I never picked up on a romantic vibe last season. But, they also really wasted no time in making Angel look like a fickle asshole. I don't understand how in the span of what, four days and a scene or two the show's attitude towards Papi went from "Papi is Angel's number one source of support and she doesn't know what she'd do without him" to "Papi is beneath Angel and being with him will destroy her career before it starts." The shot of him waiting alone outside the restaurant with flowers really broke my heart into 1 million pieces. I'm not looking forward to this next stretch of episodes of Papi pining and sulking while Angel swans around thinking her shit doesn't stink. Although Papi's multiple monologues about Angel suddenly being his one true love are a little overbearing and excessive, her cutesy, flippant reaction to his little speech sticking up for himself and asserting his self-worth made my heart sink. Papi's too good for her. Love yourself!!!!! He gives her so much emotionally and right now she's too intoxicated by the prospect of fame to care. This isn't as fun as I was hoping. That little hallway kiss though...a tiny window into their real potential. So soft. So tender. I swooned. I know I thirst over Indya Moore constantly, but man, Angel Curiel is sexy as fuck. Wish he'd kiss me like that. I digress. Moving on, an unexpected byproduct of the body disposal storyline was that this was the first time ever that I've enjoyed Candy as a character. I didn't even mind the sketchy silicone dealer. So if this Electra plot is based off the Dorian person mentioned up thread, she's just going to keep the body forever and there's not going to be a resolution? Fair enough I guess, as I was just coming in here to say that this plot is completely absurd and I had no idea how they could progress it realistically in any other way besides Electra going to jail forever, but it's true that real life is sometimes stranger than fiction. That's certainly one way to humble a character. Again, even if the body just stayed there undetected, I'm not really sure where they're going with this and surely the secret will be leaked at some point. Is this going to turn into a How to Get Away with Murder situation where they all form a pact and have to keep moving the body around so it doesn't get discovered? It was a surprisingly nice character moment between between Blanca and Electra when Electra tried to shield Blanca from further culpability. Blanca spends so much time mothering everyone else and cleaning up after Electra that it was odd but refreshing to see someone else (let alone Electra) trying to protect her for once.
  11. Amber is an eighth grade teacher who talks and acts like her students. She strikes me as a bubbly "BFF" teacher who connects to her students by acting like a peer, but that "look and me I'm so quirky and cute yay!!" attitude is apparently her entire personality. Harassing him for kisses every two minutes and hanging all over him like a needy drunk girl at prom is certainly...something. She's awfully unbothered about acting so horny for someone who has to face down a class of teens, probably because she's still about 15 emotionally.
  12. I was also a little disappointed that an episode featuring both a love theme and Angel/Papi performing as Romeo and Juliet did nothing to advance the chemistry between Angel and Papi when they're obviously being set up as the central romance of the season. I realize they haven't built up enough sexual tension yet to break it, but I thoroughly enjoy their sparks and little flirtation. I thought this week's themes would lay natural groundwork for that, but instead all we got was 45 seconds of corny Damon/Ricky foreplay.
  13. We needed way more Angel and Papi! I was not happy that they were swapped out for Damon and Ricky's middle school fighting. I'm just not invested in them, although I was glad they're negative. Angel chewing them out was great too. Angel Curiel and Indya Moore pack so much life into even little background shots, like peering around the doorway to watch drama. This episode was kind of middling for me. It simultaneously felt like filler and cramming all the inciting incidents of the season into one episode. Angel Curiel knocked it out of the park with Papi's reaction to Blanca having AIDS. Strongest moment of the episode and made me tear up a bit. You could really feel his palpable despair and devotion. It was especially heartbreaking because you got the sense he was trying in vain to convince himself he can prevent the inevitable if he only cares for Blanca well enough. Everyone in Evangelista has had their moments of bratty entitlement, but Papi is really a goodhearted, loyal, ride or die dude at the end of the day. Papi is my absolute favorite character. I love how much he appreciates everyone who loves him. So if Electra has the dominatrix cash to flounce around renting luxury apartments and bankrolling her own custom engineered ballroom fantasy team, why bother crawling back to Candy and Lulu at all? And boy, did Evangelista's numbers dwindle quick! Last week it was filled with extras and this week she's down to three kids. Okay. The supposed issue of Blanca not passing kind of came out of nowhere and certainly felt like a plot device (there's no way that bumbling meathead would ever clock her, let alone before the real estate lady), but I appreciated the conversation between her and Angel about the unconscious benefits of passing in society. I'm sure it dictates the acting opportunities for all the actresses in the show as well. I don't think it's a coincidence that Indya Moore has seemingly gotten the biggest career boost out of this show so far, although her acting also certainly warrants the attention. Every marginalized community unfortunately has beauty standards that serve to unconsciously reaffirm superiority of the mainstream, but for trans people, not conforming is especially dangerous.
  14. I am STOKED for this bisexual free-for-all, although the sheer number of possible combinations and accounting for differences in individual gender preferences will make strategy next to impossible. Count me in!
  15. A big part of it is sexism - it's not "manly" to be a male virgin, which is why you still get horror stories of men forcing their sometimes barely pubescent sons into sexual scenarios. Women who are virgins are seen as chaste, disciplined, and outright morally superior, which obnoxious Iris has eagerly latched onto to make herself seem better than other women. In contrast, male virgins are mocked as socially awkward shut-ins who are bound to be shitty in the sack. Off topic, but I'm assuming the (second) blonde sexologist got booted for boning Jon?
  16. I did the same, but still have OG scheduled to record, so I peeked in and regretted it. Cheyenne, give it up. Corey's been banging reality show girls since 2013, your vagina isn't as magical as you were hoping and it definitely isn't powerful enough to cure fame ho. Also, not to be shallow, but Taylor's (Corey's Taylor, not Pube Beard Taylor of Bud Light) is really hot. Maybe instead of mocking her 4-year-old's speech impediment, Cate should send Nova to speech therapy. Also "I realized I don't NEED you. I'd be fine if you divorced me. I'd be a badass mom on my own." Puh-lease. You just got done bitching that your preschooler is too clingy. She'd be halfway to Arizona before Ty could pack a bag.
  17. Even my mother, who only half-watches, asked "Their editor just said they have a huge deadline at the end of the day, so she went for a walk with the new girl, and now she's just leaving in the middle of the day again to go have sex with the other one?" I wish my work was cool with me having spontaneous booty calls with my ex on the clock!
  18. I want to marry the author for that section alone:
  19. Blanca's fixation on Vogue was a little tween-y, but it was a nice platform to highlight the dichotomy between her optimistic "this white pop star popularizing our culture will be the key to our assimilation" versus the cynical but more accurate take of "this white lady is appropriating our culture for homophobic suburban white kids and the song will have zero impact on our circumstances" Your username makes me laugh every time. (source) I am READY. Look how smitten! A great little detail from Angel Curiel (Papi's actor) that really conveys that giddy "developing a crush but not quite aware of it yet" feeling.
  20. The most unrealistic thing about the (multi-year?) time jump is that both Pray and Blanca's largely untreated HIV has barely progressed and remained magically asymptomatic, but I'm happy they're doing well. So they've kept their status secret from the entire house for years? Well, I see Elecktra's acting hasn't improved over the hiatus. Yes, it's better when she's playing softer emotions, but her entire role is to be The Bitch! The woodenness of her delivery really takes me out of the dramatic confrontations. It's especially glaring when her sparring partner is someone as talented as Billy Porter. I have no idea where the chemistry between Angel and Papi came from, but I am very into it. Talk about an upgrade from clammy Stan. The actor playing Papi has such an expressive face when he's joyful, it's adorable. I knew they were going that direction as soon as they zoomed in on how Papi's face lit up watching her walk. I love how supportive and protective he is of her. Although I wonder if Blanca will object to two of her "children" starting a romantic relationship. Not wise of Blanca to quit her job when she's seemingly the sole source of income in a household of about 15 people. Beating up that sleazy photographer is definitely going to come back to bite them, right? Even if they were morally in the right, they can't just expect to physically assault a personal friend of Eileen Ford (and then send Angel - so stupidly - back to her to get signed! Use the photos to sign with another agency!) and get away with it, right? My crush on Indya Moore gets bigger with every episode.
  21. Well...that was a lot of bland fuckery. Sutton changed her career path again for the second time in what, six weeks? So Sutton and Richard threw thousands at the class and sewing machine for her to (re)discover that the job she was already working was her real passion. Pinstripe sucks most of all for handing Jane that crumpled up love quiz as a genuine ultimatum like he's a 13-year-old girl. Speaking of which, I don't buy that Jacqueline wouldn't legally have to know some models were underage. At least Kat didn't outright cheat, but it's still shitty to string Tia along with "I'm probably going back to my ex, but I want you around as a safety blanket" before dumping her 3 days later. Again, this would be seen as an awful storyline with a m/f pairing. We're supposed to think Scarlet might be shutting down when they just gave Adena a full-time job. Sure.
  22. I fully went into this expecting a Michael/Angela or Azan/Nicole situation, and while Jenny may share Nicole's babyish worldview, Sumit actually seems...genuinely and endearingly into her? Moreso than any of the other couples. Watching him tear up about her leaving and how she'll adjust was downright moving. I thought it was just going to be another delusional cougar giddy about scoring dick half her age while the young playboy feeds her lies, but they seem to truly care about each other. Weird. Of course, it will go up in flames anyway between the culture shock, Sumit's family's rejection, and Jenny seemingly having the emotional resilience of a newborn deer, but hey, I'm surprisingly rooting for them.
  23. I am DYING omg! Imagine the bylines "I Gave My Boyfriend My Heart But All He Wanted Was Some Dick" "Vaginal Rejuvination: Owning My Womanhood After My Boyfriend Cheated With A Man" "Do All Bisexuals Cheat? My Experiences Say Yes". But no, Pinstripe's entire character is built on grimy womanizing masculine insecurity (so dreamy!), so they'd never have him cheat with a dude. It would be hilarious if it turned out he kissed Patrick. Jane/Pinstripe's relationship is the classic example of why you don't ditch what's good/stable (Dr. Ben) because you're horny for a challenge. Alex had infinitely better chemistry with Sutton (and hell, even Kat), but him fucking Jane is inevitable now and probably the whole purpose of the roommate subplot. I predict Jane drunkenly making a pass at him next week. Kat is a terrible person with Shiny Object Syndrome and all the focus of a goldfish. Her loss would've been a good development and source of character growth had they not spent the whole episode watering it down with her cold feet crisis. It's very clunky and poorly written that Tia and Kat went from having sex to (literally overnight) barely touching when Adena came back. We get it, Kat likes Adena more, but wouldn't Tia still think they were in the giddy honeymoon phase? They had about as much chemistry as stepsisters this episode. It's super slimy of Kat to crawl back into bed with Adena behind Tia's back when Tia devoted weeks to doing nothing but helping Kat's campaign and is the one who inspired Kat to enter politics in the first place. Who calls the BIG BAD SUPER SCARY MODEL EATING PHOTOGRAPHER in to say "Heads up, we're writing an expose on you, so you better take a look at all our sources and evidence before we publish"? Why is Jacqueline in particular that fucking tactless????
  24. I agree, especially since they found paint from the railing on the bottom of the scooter and it was determined that the boy was too small to either achieve the height or momentum required to go flying over top of the banister. I think something happened with Rebecca or the sister, whether it be a game that went horribly wrong or an attempt to discipline where the anger went too far, and they panicked given Rebecca's newfound total financial dependence on the boyfriend. Regardless of whether or not Rebecca was actually involved in any act or the cover-up, I think the boyfriend's brother suspected her or accused her and given that he already seemed like a deviant sex pervert, it was the perfect cocktail of circumstance and opportunity. After all, even if you're willing to hand wave or justify every other weird circumstance around her so-called suicide, who shoves a knife up their own vagina immediately before killing themselves?
  25. I don't think it's that deep, I think she's just incredibly horny for Luke P and pissed off he couldn't hold in the crazy long enough to get away with banging him under the guise of a "soul connection" or whatever so the other guys wouldn't be as mad at/disgusted with her when it happens. It's why she gives him an average of 5 personality adjustment lectures per episode - she knows he's a hot mess and if he were anyone else she would've dropped kicked his ass weeks ago, but she desperately, shamelessly wants to ride his dick. She was just having a meltdown because all the pressure from the other men to oust him means her window of opportunity is closing, especially if she wants to fuck him and still walk away with a solid relationship/legit proposal from a more stable option. We just saw the exact moment it dawned on her she probably won't get away with having her cake and eating it too. Every episode provides yet more evidence Hannah has a pain kink. Her eyes were positively sparkling with manic glee as she watched the rugby match. She sure did seem...excited...
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