SnarkEnthusiast

Felt bad for Discount Prince Harry aka Seb, who seems like the sweetest guy in the cast. I hate when people punish new partners for things their exes did. It is not Seb's job to recondition Lizzie to resist shutting down or hold her hand through her baggage - it's on her to make sure she's healed and emotionally available before signing up for this shitshow again, which she clearly isn't as evidenced by her whinging every 5 seconds that every activity "brings back bad memories." Seb seems like a lovely guy who won't mind waiting on her, but this matching was unfair. Seb did not sign up to relive last season and Lizzie is a wishy-washy mess who is in no way ready for a serious relationship. KC seems very high maintenance and still in the LA mindset. Freaking out about female friends feels very controlling, although the doll was odd. Men and women can be friends and even roommates - the horror! - without wanting to bone. Women like her assume that men and women can't interact without being attracted. I also hope the roommate is super hot. Connie/Johnnie were both unintentionally hilarious. "This past week, you suppressing your entire personality has really made me see a future with you!" "I see that you've never been happier or more hopeful, and that makes me miserable." It was difficult to see what either of them were talking about, given that we saw no footage. Everything is always me, me, me. You could see Steve's lack of attraction a mile away, but I'm surprised Mishel was so broken up by it. Based on their interactions, I thought she'd be relieved and admit she wasn't into him either. Their kayak argument was so uncomfortable. Since Steve was in love with a much younger women, his preferences are probably always geared towards recreating that relationship. I'm guessing his ideal partner would be in her 30s, as Steve seems like the kind of guy who would really enjoy a May/December dynamic - although to be fair he seems to loathe Mishel's manic pixie dream girl, youthful energy. Someone younger would be easier for him to control.

This finale was pretty underwhelming and didn’t feel like a finale - I wonder if they had to shut down production early because of coronavirus. At the very least, I was surprised they didn’t have any resolution to the Jane/Scott debacle because the writers have done a lot of what they think is sexy buildup to it, now with no payoff either way. Actually, thinking about it, none of the storylines were really resolved, which makes me think they had one more episode to go but had to shut down and slap together those weird little text moments as “resolutions” - Alex’s and Kat’s plots were hardly scenarios that would be resolved with a single tweet/text. I naïvely assumed the high school boyfriend was separated and also naïvely assumed Sutton thought the same thing. They won’t do another pregnancy plot with Sutton because she just had the miscarriage, but I also have very little interest in watching her spiral. The good doctor just did the exact same plot with Claire who also had an alcoholic mother and it did nothing for either the character or anyone in her circle. It was just a bunch of scenes of her staring vacantly into the distance while drinking or having mindless sex. Misery porn isn’t good writing or profound - it’s lazy and a signal you’ve given up on actually writing for your characters. How long has Richard even been gone? He’s obviously going to come back even if it’s just for them to officially agree to divorce. Sutton is the last good character at this point, so I’m not looking forward to her transformation into an obnoxious party girl who pushes everyone away. Everything about Kat/Eva was cringe. Pretty rich that JANE was the one who shamed her for it. The entire execution of Eva's character is a mess.

This episode was as rough as Michael and Haley looked. The thing is, I do actually believe Michael thinks he loves Stacey - the problem is he'll always put drinking over her and still sees blacking out every weekend as normal partying. Alcohol consumption is so normalized (particularly in Australia apparently) that it's really difficult to get people, especially men, to see it as a problem. Stacey will be miserable. Was surprised to see Natasha/Mikey bow out without a real explanation after reconciling. Maybe I've just gotten used to couples on these shows hating each other's guts by the end. David's toothbrush stunt was childish and disgusting, but Haley kept bringing it up like he was trying to poison her. Enough! You're the one who proudly announced you wanted to force him to stay a week and sulk. Accept that you're both terrible people and move on. I'm so over Connie. They've spent days arguing over the true intent of a thumbs up emoji - Jesus Christ, go back to middle school. Johnny seems a bit smug and does like gaslighting her a bit too much, but Connie is nonstop passive aggression and drama. I'm surprised, as they were originally my favorite couple and I found her very endearing. Steve/Mishel is an ongoing question mark. I thought both Mishel and the show glossed over his breakdown about his son. Also it irritated me that her reaction was "good job showing me emotion!!" as opposed to actually discussing what he was upset about. So his son is stuck in the UK for some reason? I can't figure these two out. Is she into him, or does she feel sorry for him? Is he into her, or does he feel pressure to make it work? The fact that he continues to balk at the mere idea of having sex with her 4-6 weeks in just reaffirms that he's far too reserved for it to ever work. I think Steve is a good guy at heart, but he's overly sensitive (hi Connie!) and wants a caretaker. Plus he's downright curmudgeonly. Mishel has way more zest for life than Steve at this point - and wants her partner and sex life to match.

I was most disappointed in Karen this episode because I expected so much more from her. Brett redefines douche (Zach was at least hot with his mouth closed - Brett thinks he can treat women like trash because he has biceps). Woody is a just 30-year-old frat boy. But Karen????? It's one thing to get cold feet because of the process, it's another thing to be reconsidering the marriage because your groom "talks about feelings." That screams immaturity and unhealthy relationship patterns to me. For her to complain that she's not physically attracted to him is one thing because physical attraction is subjective, YoU caNt HeLp PreFerEncEs, whatever (even though imo Miles is the hottest in the cast! Give JaimeO a call before launching into a whiny monologue about your groom not being a panty dropper), but specifically being turned off by his emotional availability and implying that that makes him....effeminate? who knows/cares?...is a massive red flag that gives me the impression she only dates losers and fuckboys. Karen will probably be into Woody, lol. What an unnecessary insult of character. She better redeem herself.

Aisha must really not be happy to be criticizing a storyline in real time. I'd imagine the Twitter backlash is also significant. Even though she's not a writer, she obviously feels responsible for Kat and to the fans. It's an awkward position to be morally conflicted about a job you used to love. She's basically Kat irl now. I don't blame her though. It has to be annoying when people who aren't in your community think they can accurately portray your lived experiences.

@UNOSEZ that Ava/Kat article is interesting, and I totally agree with the author. It's a bad look to have Kat lusting over a hardcore right-wing Republican, especially right now. Ava being horny for Kat (probably) isn't going to make her a better person. But this show has always been about superficial, performative wokeness as opposed to actual social critique. Jane and Kat and Adena (to a lesser extent) never care about real change - they want the instant gratification of point scoring. They want to get off on their own perceived moral superiority. That's it. Look no further than Jane/Scott admitting they want to bang while writing a #MeToo expose! The show cares about social justice until it's inconvenient for the characters, lol. I just wanna talk to whatever Love Actually fan in the writers' room commandeered this episode. The cheesy framing monologue, the unnecessary segment division with the hokey titles, the insufferably slow pacing. I get wanting to experiment with format, but not format from 2004. Sutton/Richard - much like Jane/Pinstripe, shit or get off the pot. This is their most nuanced, believable conflict and both actors gave phenomenal performances. I do appreciate that they at least attempted to explain why the kid issue hadn't come up earlier. But they've almost broken up like 25 times. Just move on. The format of the episode, between the time stamps and ignoring Sutton's calls, made me think we were building up Sutton getting hit by a car or something after leaving the bar. A divorced Sutton is much better than a dead one.

I was half joking when I said I thought Michael was the cheating partner, but apparently I was right. It figures - he's a shit-eating Peter Pan asshole with a drinking problem. It was only a matter of time, really. I feel kind of bad for Stacey because she was falling for him, but also not really because she took such glee in causing major problems for Steve/Mishel and Natasha/Mikey especially. And also she was ready to dump Michael at the wedding before Googling his net worth. They're both materialistic bullies. The way Josh behaved at dinner pissed me off. He acted like a six-year-old tattling on a classmate and then ducking behind mommy. At least Josh's mom is level-headed. And then Josh had the audacity to say "Well, they even took your side at times!" yeah, after you ambushed me and threw me under the bus, you prick! The Vanessa/Chris thing...as someone who's been rejected a lot because people just aren't attracted to me, the whole circular argument of "I'm not attracted to you but you being distressed/sad/mad that I'm not attracted to you is making me less willing to try to be attracted to you" confuses me. If you're going to claim preferences or chemistry or the fact that you can't force attraction, sure, whatever, but isn't stating lack of attraction kind of the end? Why would you want someone you're not attracted to flirting with you (you don't) and why should the other person be motivated to try to convince you to be with them when you both know the chances of that developing are slim to none? It just seems like a manipulative, emotionally withholding ego trip for the non-attracted partner, especially because they're usually well aware the other person is VERY into them. I totally get that being sulky and whiny and bitter and angry like Amanda and Vanessa were isn't the right way to handle it at all, but it's just annoying in that you know Tash and Chris would've never reciprocated even if Amanda and Vanessa had all the patience in the world. They just wanted to save face by pretending there's potential and then blaming the failure on the other person's poor reaction.

I thought he was off-puttingly strange at first, but it's true that he and hippie doctor are gender flips of one another. Neither would work with anyone else. She would love that she can be the breadwinner and replicate her own family structure and he would love that he never has to have a steady source of income and can spend all his free time on whatever passion project he’s working on that month, although Cal is probably right that none of them will ever go anywhere but I don’t think that matters to him. As long as Bennett is OK with raising the kids, they’re golden. It was adorable when he asked if he could take her last name. I can already tell that the hot school administrator is going to be one of my favorites this season, so I hope something as negligible as him being a little younger than her doesn’t put her off. Frankly I don’t understand why women get so caught up in the tiniest age differences. I’ve had multiple friends who have acted like their relationships with guys TWO years younger than them was some kind of cradle robbing embarrassment they were ashamed of, to the point where they bring it up almost every time you ask about their partner to reassure you that they had reservations about it as if they’re dating a college student! It’s so bizarre and I think once the younger partner is out of college and working, a gap within five years shouldn’t even really count as an age difference. I will be disappointed if she writes him off because of that. As a woman myself, I think we internalize and anticipate a lot of judgment that doesn’t actually exist, especially with respect to romantic partners, and even if people did judge, who cares? I think it’s all about the person and your dynamic together. If someone stresses out about tiny superficial things like that and petite body preference dude, it shows that you are more concerned about optics and turn ons than who a person actually is or the potential success of the relationship. Looks like they’re setting up Brett to be Zach 2.0. No thanks. I am on the fence about Woody, but his friendship with hot school admin is really cute so I am hopeful. The woman who cried because her grandfather was the only man who’s ever given her flowers is going to be a total mess. She seems like she has a super unhealthy relationship with needing male validation. I think you can’t depend on a partner to heal your trauma and fix your feelings of abandonment, let alone pin that on a guy you’ve never met.

Kat is the epitome of gay disaster. She finds out Ava is gay, is instantaneously attracted to her despite barely tolerating her prior to this, and then says her name during sex like three hours later? Also, did they ever bother introducing her current gf? Who the heck is she and where did she come from? I actually think Kat/Ava have way better chemistry than Kat/Adena, so it's disappointing that this will be a hate sex fling. Sutton/Richard...yikes. It's a stretch to believe Sutton just now realized she didn't want kids when she's been dating Richard, who's 40 and talked about wanting kids multiple times, for years. Still, his rage moment was scary. But they've driven home the true love thing with them since S1. Do you really think that the writers would divorce them? Maybe the actor wants to leave. That would be awesome, but they won't do it because endgame. Blah.

Well, all of the couples are annoying me now, lol. Haley/David are all over the place. Their high won't last because they're both unstable. Michael/Stacey are the insufferable shit-stirring popular couple from high school - why does he keep instigating fights in other people's relationships? They decided to nuke Natasha/Mikey because they got bored at dinner, ffs. Natasha shouldn't have made the joke, but Mikey had already made the exact joke verbatim on camera! The way he flew off the handle immediately was a gigantic turnoff and the fact that he wanted to break up over ONE comment showed he's very petty and spiteful. Steve/Mishel is a mess because she wants to act 25 and he wants to act 75. Steve's overall vibe screams "grumpy grandpa." Even golden couple Connie & Johnny had a bunch of juvenile bullshit this week between his petulance over the phone and her petulance over the model sketching. Are we 14? Amanda/Tash - yeesh, long overdue. Amanda dragged herself down to Tash's level at the end, when she should've just been stoic and waited for Tash to flame out. Constantly berating someone for not being attracted to you doesn't work and only gives Tash the opportunity to play the victim. The dinner party snub was the out Tash had been looking for. Amanda let Tash get under her skin and came off bitter and abrasive. I laughed at "I can only eat white food for 24 hours" and especially "I'm too tired too explain my veganism [my only personality trait] to you right now." Tash is so fucking pretentious!!!! Thoughts on who Haley is making out with behind the scenes? Michael is sleazy enough, but I think it could be Josh after all, if only because he seems like a horndog (seriously, how many scenes/references of kink did we get this week?) and we know Haley is turned on by BDSM. $20 bucks says Haley and Tash hooked up after filming was over.

Say what you want about Syngin being an aimless fuck up (so is Tania), but I rolled my eyes at Tania making Syngin carry her on his back 20 feet from the bed to the shower. And she's making him help her bathe for no medical reason.

I thought the miscarriage would be a fake out because they spoiled it in the episode promo (wtf) but everything about it was very in-character for Sutton. Megan Fahy did a great job. Acquaintances of mine recently lost a pregnancy the exact same way, so it really hit home. Interesting that the miscarriage is a catalyst for Sutton realizing she doesn't want kids right now. "Yay, more conflict with Richard!" said no one ever. It makes sense that she'd want to focus on the brand new career she's wanted for years. I like Jacqueline, and Jacqueline not with Jane, but I'm not sure I care about her marital issues or her horny old man love triangle enough to justify this many subplots. How did Ian guess Miles was writing about Jacqueline if he thought they hadn't seen each other for 20-30 years? And obviously she keeps the article open on her nightstand for masturbation purposes, lol. Jane's storyline is...not bad? For once? This episode just made me sad Kat and Alex never got together. He is such a sweetie and his great chemistry with all the leads, but only Sutton deserved him. Man, Kat has really fallen on her ass. Even watching her "struggle" feels pretentious between the bougie bartending job and power struggle with mommy and daddy.

I thought the commitment episode would be boring filler, but it was actually pretty interesting. Josh made me laugh with his "20 seconds" comment. Poppy seems miserable and the other parents seem to be handling "missing their kids" just fine, so I feel like her being weepy days in is just her being disappointed with not being physically attracted to Luke but she's using her kids to deflect - which doesn't fly when half the cast are also single parents of small children. Haley and Dave are exhausting. I laughed out loud with the expert flat out said "no" when Haley asked if she could speak more, She seems critical and his masculinity is far too fragile for her. How many times can they argue over her smoking and the wage comment? She's rude and domineering, but it was incredibly petty and unfair of him to bring up her addiction to hurt her and make her look like damaged goods in front of everyone. Low blow. I wouldn't want to be with someone who only accepted who I am based on their mood and otherwise weaponized my flaws against me whenever convenient. Shoutout to Steve for single-handedly salvaging their relationship - for this week. I feel bad for Amanda, but again she has to realize that the whole droopy dog routine and trying to lecture and rationalize how and why they should be spending time together isn't gonna work on a free spirit like Tash, who is heavily invested in her alt-girl image. Amanda came off like a prudish PTA mom at the party. If Tash wanted to, clearly she would, as evidenced by her flirting with every woman in sight at dinner. Cut your losses and move on. I kind of love how smitten Ivan is with Aleks - I expected him to be a huge douche to her. I was surprised how frosty she became over his Haley interaction, in which she was almost instantaneously the aggressor and incredibly insulting towards him, which he handled well and took in stride, imo. A little gossipy maybe, but nowhere near egregious enough to imply you were considering separation over it, especially when he immediately realized he'd upset her and spent his entire couch monologue apologizing profusely. He's full of himself, but she's a bit too rigid. Connie and Johnny give me faith that love exists!

Agreed! Sadly women don't have the luxury of existing without performing 😉

With this show, Kat will wind up banging that lawyer by the end of the season. "Hottie Scottie" just looks like any average dude to me. Jane actively hoping to seduce her subordinate days after hiring him screams #MeToo nightmare, especially for someone just granted a staff to begin with. Ollie's ex is hot. Sutton continues to be the most likable, well-adjusted character.

The pacing of this show is much better and more entertaining than the American one. All the men and especially all the women look exactly the same. Even the nerdy marine biologist looks very similar to the girl with acne. Sorry there are so many I don’t remember any of their names! I don’t mind including single parents, and maybe it’s just the editing, but the producers make it look like no one even mentions they have kids! Vanessa (acne woman) would be exhausting after a while, although I feel for her. I think she needed therapy before jumping into a relationship. She’s really let her insecurity about her skin take over her entire thought process for everything and if that continues long-term she’s going to be picking apart everything her husband does or doesn’t do or say. Amanda and Tash seemed like your quintessential lesbian u-haulers for the first 24 hours and then Tash shut down out of nowhere. They were literally making out in bed one minute and then five hours later not speaking, it’s bizarre. Tash seems very insincere and fickle, but I also think Amanda permanently shot herself in the foot by reacting with pouting and stamping her foot. You can never guilt trip someone into being attracted to you. It figures that next week Tash is going to stir up shit by hitting on Haley, her literal clone - both seem to only care about themselves. They deserve each other. Amanda probably wishes she went back to her ex-girlfriend. Steve and Mishel both seem whiny, surly, and unstable, although Steve is better than Mishel by a mile. If you’re tearfully demanding tequila shots at your wedding reception as a 48-year-old with adult kids, you’ve got issues. And the Ski thing was such a weird spoiled 10-year-old tantrum. What’s her face already thinks she’s better than Mikey and comes across as a spoiled snobby asshole. Connie and Johnny forever! They obviously have the best chance of making it because they both seem unpretentious and down to earth. I hope she gets more comfortable and drops the shy 14-year-old act after a while.

Eh, I guess I'm in the minority but I'm not going to fault women for not wearing makeup or getting dressed up to sit on their couch or play with their toddlers just because they're on camera - what we're watching are basically home movies. And even if it was official filming, who cares? You don't have to put on makeup every time anyone sees you. Bobby's energy does seem a little different but I don't think he's being pissy or snappy or rude towards Danielle - I just think his humor feels increasingly adolescent in larger doses. She seems to like it and match him, so whatever. Jaime...not to sound 16, but birth is always gross and terrifying for all involved. Jaime and Beth "racing" by jogging 10 yards individually made me laugh.

Tim and Veronica have better chemistry than most of the actual couples on this show. I'm guessing they broke up because they were both too type A, but even though she has a boyfriend (fiance?), I like that he's still an active father figure to Chloe and there are moments when I wonder if Veronica still has a little torch for him. Tim is really growing on me. I love how sincerely invested everyone is in Kenny/Armando. Same!

In Deavan's defense, she met Jihoon when she was 21 (?), so I'm willing to cut her the tiniest bit of slack. Given that she already had a toddler, she might be one of those girls that thought having a baby means you have to stay together forever/a catalyst for your man to grow up/whatever. And after tonight, it sounds like she was (sort of) trying to be responsible when she conceived Taeyoung, but the condom fell off. Now she's having to support a 30-year-old 15-year-old because He's The Father when they should've just left it at two drunken weeks of sex. I think it's because the older ones are almost always colossal sleazebags jacking off to their own power as they dangle a green card in exchange for head and use their Savior Complex to deny their midlife crisis, sex tourism, or lack of appeal, and the younger ones are either soulless robotic scammers or (more likely) victims of bone-crushing poverty, none of which made a particularly compelling love story lol. Usually the older one just wants hot young ass. Kenny and Armando don't feel predatory or exploitative because Armando seems well-established, Kenny doesn't seem to get off on the age gap, and they actually bonded over mutual experiences and have a shared foundation. It's not about geriatric horniness for once! And despite chronologically being a baby gay, Armando is 31 and divorced so he's lived some life - it's not like Kenny is plucking some barely legal boy toy from poverty (hey Sean/Abby and Allan/Kirlyam). Jenny/Sumit is confusing because sometimes he feels like a scammer and other times he seems genuinely into her - he's def blowing all her money, but it also seems to be part of some deeply buried mommy kink/old lady fetish that he has. Jenny acts like she's 18, it's creepy.

Felt bad for Jessica...and Austin because it's hard to know how to support someone you a) just met, b) can't help, and c) is annoyed by your worrying. Why do Bobby/Danielle talk about sex like two 15-year-olds? Stop referencing "doing it," you're 30 and married! lol. I'm surprised he seems like a bit of a (benevolent) frat boy - he was a squeaky clean mama's boy on his season. Greg gets more attractive every episode. Hard pass on another episode of deeply uncomfortable JaimeO moaning montages. Just show us the baby.

So is Kat in a throuple now or did they just randomly decide to fuck her gf's roommate or something? And is that the girl she dated before bartender dude? Sutton is an in interesting choice for the unplanned pregnancy storyline, but she's basically a WASP now, so I don't see abortion and probably no miscarriage. Or it'll be revealed as a false positive. She'll probably decide to juggle baby and career and fight with Richard about not being a SAHM, ugh. Jane continues to Jane. She's even insufferable and sanctimonious recovering from major surgery! Alex is too good for this show and I hate that the same show that milks Kat's wokeness every episode decided he should be a glorified extra. Why didn't he end up with Suttton? Richard is like watching eggshell paint dry.

I think Armando is the most likable, sympathetic participant this franchise has ever had. I shed a few tears during his backstory. You could tell his conversation with his sister was genuine and not producer-driven. Part of his attraction to Kenny was probably that he's raised four children to adulthood successfully as an openly gay man (partially?) on his own. I don't blame Armando for wanting that same stability for his daughter. And for once a massive age gap that doesn't feel creepy!!! Please leave them alone producers! Let the rest of this circus carry the shitshow this season.

Man, I hope this doesn't get cancelled and leave Mateo crushed. The made a lot of ballsy writing decisions this episode, maybe to bluff getting renewed. Everything was a cliffhanger. I was surprised Vanessa went running back to producer so quickly - I know you're pissed, but you just fucked Mateo like 12 hours ago! I thought the accidental reveal to Daniel was pretty funny and I like that they made his reaction one of concern for Vanessa rather than a macho bro pissing contest. This show writes relationships very well. I liked the resolution of the parents and the love and devotion between them. The writers sure are selective about Lewis' plot device cancer. Two episodes ago he's fainting, but now he can sprint through an airport no problem? Natalie remains slightly bratty and overdramatic, but I'm grateful her entire season wasn't wasted in the closet.

I did NOT need that shot of Fernanda's vibrator ready to go in the shower. What if her roommate picked it up thinking it was a bar of soap?! Foul. And what a weird crossover seeing her thirst over Clay from BiP. Is there some kind of Z-list reality star dating app? Lucy was the most adorable baby, so it's annoying to see Rachel has already made her spoiled and bratty by age 2. She seems to fling herself into a hissy fit over every tiny thing. But at least Rachel realizes it wouldn't be smart to have a baby with Tom when they can't live in the same country due to his criminal past TIFFANY.

The screen that revealed only 5 minutes had elapsed between Beth/Jaime making up and restarting their preteen argument made me laugh. He really picked a fight over her "ignoring" him during cuddling? They're both such insecure drama queens!