SnarkEnthusiast

Well, that was an underwhelming finale, and not just because they queerbaited us with Sutton all season and then flung her back into Richard's arms (since when are they some star-crossed couple? They were always written as a sexy office fling.) It was weird that Alex was advising Jane on whether to tell Sutton about Richard's "engagement" given his own romantic history with Sutton, but I think the writers forgot they hooked up. For a second, I thought Alex would comfort Sutton at the end of the ep and they'd wind up having sex instead. They have much better chemistry imo, but the show has apparently decided that men of color can only be beta males. Kat and Adena are exhausting. Pretty, but exhausting. They've burned through 5 seasons of plot for them in one season, so I guess the only thing left is to break up - but there will still be drama because Adena just got her Visa! The first half of season 3 will be them awkwardly avoiding eye contact in every lesbian bar in NYC. Great. Loved Kat's soiree outfit though. Jane...the less said about Jane, the better. Of course only Jane would not only have two dudes vying for her love, but also eagerly willing to cover a $12,000 elective fertility procedure. Time may be running out on her eggs, but she sure has one magical vagina!

I've been laughing at this phrasing since you posted. In fairness, this describes about 80% of men pursuing any woman ever. ?

I'm sure it's shades of Karine's parents where they're poor and/or desperate for her to go to America, so they'll gratefully accept any American man who wants to marry her. Under the guise of "continuing the mission," Alan probably groomed both Kirlyam and her parents to believe it was God's will. Kirlyam is stunning and has a very doll-like appearance, so her parents have probably gotten compliments on her appearance since she was a young child and saw her beauty as a ticket to a better life for her. It would be one thing if they hadn't seen each other in like 15 years and fell in love when Kirlyam was around 25, but it's another thing to fly there annually to stake your claim on a barely pubescent girl and salivate over being one year closer to ethically bedding her. I guarantee you Alan was the one who initially suggested their relationship become romantic.

Not to go off topic but this is my issue with Alan too! Everyone holds them up as 90DF's wholesome success story, but between the nine year age gap and the fact that he met her when he was 19 or so, did he spend the entirety of his 20s fantasizing about a preteen girl? How did he even know when her birthday was? If he really did go rushing back the second she turned 18, he must have been infatuated with her for years. Skeevy as fuck and totally glossed over. David Spain got way more shit, and while both are creepy and inexcusable (especially after it came out that David supposedly slid into Evelyn's DMs when she was underage), Alan is much worse imo.

Just watched. Is Kirk Codi's full time beta hype man now? Standing 6 inches away and mugging to the camera while your friend tongues every woman in a 12 foot radius is...strange. And please, I never need to watch Codi "seductively" grind on anyone ever again. It pisses me off that Codi will still win Candace over after all this. Also did not need to see Gus vomiting aggressively on Candace's feet. Good for her for just rolling with it I guess? Kind of gross arriving at the bar by announcing your toes are covered in someone else's puke.

I missed last night's ep (is it on demand? they never replay them, hit show indeed), but this reaffirms my belief that Codi and Aimee are meant to be. They're the same slob with a temper in different bodies! Codi's Candace obsession makes no sense. They'd be a terrible couple. He needs to stay in his league and stop shitting on girls he has a chance with in hair brained adolescent schemes to seduce girls who don't give him the time of day.

The fact that being teen parents is apparently a requirement to become wealthy is the most glorious, confusing part. Still, I feel kind of bad for the kid. He's dumb, but he just wants a family. He was sweet when he was talking to the baby through Chloe's belly. Oh Lexus. Her bangs look pokey. Still, I liked how confident and nonchalant she was about her bisexuality. But a baby daddy in jail and an abusive girlfriend on the side...yikes. She needs to stay single awhile, but from the sound of it she's already writing prison love letters to Shayden. Mikayla is just desperate for her mom's approval. Between raising infants simultaneously, shared lack of impulse control, and the scheme to go halfsies on rent for a shitty apartment despite neither having any concept of finances, it's clearly an older/younger sister dynamic as opposed to mother/daughter. Both she and her mom are on a petulant teen rebellion kick. She'll be back before the first rent check is due. And maybe I'm just a pearl clutcher, but I'm cringing at calling minors skanks and bitches. They're 16 and bratty and have made unfortunate sexual choices. They're still children.

I'm sure the Mickey Mouse dildo will make an appearance at some point.

Well, that visual is...revolting.

True, "violent" wasn't the word I was looking for. He just has a creepy, obsessive affect imo. When Garrett was talking about Becca's accent I laughed. Do Minnesotans really have that noticeable of an accent?

I mean, any adult that sits on an app filled with kids waiting for someone to do a "duet" with them probably has much more unsavory motives in mind. I rag on Jon, but the fact that a 33-year-old mother of two sees this as an acceptable hobby is so fucking weird. The filters, the bubblegum pop tunes, the embarrassingly vain selfie-conscious lip syncing...Rachel is clearly clinging to her teens. Re: Karine infantilizing herself, I would not be surprised at all if she and Paul have a dd/lg relationship. An alarming number of men, particularly ones lacking irl sexual charisma, are into younger women who act like little girls. It's a huge subculture and it's...gross. At least she didn't ask Paul to bring Hello Kitty pacifiers or whatever.

Paul and his mom have a very...Bates Motel vibe.

Especially after what she went through with Arie, you'd think she would at least have enough empathy to dump him on the date the night before. But no, she made him get on that boat and sweat his guts out while she humiliated him in a carefully crafted monologue. Becca really did become Arie. Knew she was going to pick Garrett as soon as she started saying "This whole time I had thought it would be Blake but..." 500 times to her family. Garrett's a white supremacist and Blake seems to have the makings of a violent stalker. Becca sure can pick 'em!

Social media has become to dating a little bit like what pornography has done to sex. Everyone wants an Instagram model (of any gender) because that's the ideal we're saturated with now. Plus it's all about bragging rights on your own social media. No matter how dumpy you yourself are, no one wants to flaunt someone with acne or love handles or bad teeth because you want to subconsciously show off to your friends that you bagged hot arm candy. So even if you walk around with greasy hair or a beer gut or tarter teeth, you're going to reject average people in your league because everyone's ego drives them to believe they deserve better.

Not to mention, what is John, a 35+ year old man convicted of multiple assaults, doing spending all his time on a lip syncing app whose primary user base is 11-15 year olds? And apparently flirting and open to love? Ew.

Every time Rachel says "karaoke app" my soul leaves my body. What is she, 15? What a childish way to meet someone. Fittingly, I think the app they're referring to is musical.ly, which is popular with middle school kids. Yikes. Arrested development all over the place (literally in John's case). I wouldn't be surprised if she's seen Ricky's daughter on there. So he pays for the baby's daycare and considers himself the father because she FaceTimed him through labor? Seems legit. Lucy is the cutest baby I've ever seen.

Actually the first two eps were pretty funny. Feeders and getting off on watching people eat is a thing, but usually only with obese women. And I don't know why they keep having every side character be surprised they're not a couple, followed by a bland confirmation that they're not attracted to each other, like once per ep. Is it the inverse of will they/won't they? We know they're not dating and they never will...that's the point of the show lol.

And for what it's worth, sometimes it actually is real. Particularly if you're gay, it's a thing to meet your SO on Twitter/Tumblr and basically fall in love via text and Skype either because you're 1) closeted or in a rural area with no gay dating pool 2) still in high school and too young to be on dating apps or 3) Introverted with too much anxiety to meet people irl. They start long distance and usually move in together once they finish school. They're often both in the US but I've seen US/Canada, US/UK, US/Europe, and even US/Australia. I know at least five couples who met on social media that have been dating for years even though some of them only see each other max three times a year due to international plane ticket costs. Ironically though, sometimes closing the distance spells doom for the relationship. I followed a US/UK lesbian couple that dated for 5 YEARS and spent thousands of dollars annually travelling to see each other because they were in college/working. They meticulously documented every minute together on YouTube and had all these grandiose plans of basically throwing a dart on the globe and moving there together. The British girl graduated university and moved to America. They had a house and everything. Within a year, they were both miserable and she moved out. Now they both have local girlfriends and stayed in the area despite neither of them having any original connection to the state they picked. It's still fascinating to me that they kept their relationship alive for four years internationally and sobbed for days whenever they had to separate, but finally being in the same country and living together ruined their relationship in less than a year. I digress, but the point is it's more common and taken more seriously than most would think.

We wouldn't even have this show if delusional middle aged uglies stopped letting their libido lean them into a flaming midlife crisis. You're 40+ and live a sheltered life with a crappy job in Podunk Bumblefuck - no hot 20something international stranger is going to be in love with you sight unseen after texting for six weeks. I can understand Paul and that adorable Mormon boy (not Alan lol) out of sheer lack of social skills, but all the middle aged parents duped into genuinely believing they found lasting love on POF or some obscure ethnic fetish dating app are bizarre. Also, you likely just want to have sex with them to stroke your ego, so fly out for a one-week NSA fuckathon and save yourself the legal fees. You're not in love, you want the adrenaline rush of bedding someone half your age. Bring on the garbage!

That was even more disgusting than Kortni's peeing escapades (imagine the sloshing over bumps and turns, eww), but I do give Nilsa props for being able to keep her balance and aim while squatting in a moving vehicle. In her defense, she did say she had to pee before piling in the cab, but Aimee chose to ignore her. Should've just let her pee outside lol. Codi reading Gus' erotica and joking that he had to go run to the bathroom to masturbate certainly did not help this assumption. Watching him cling to Candace with that pasty, hairy, doughy dad bod was not sexy in the slightest. I can't believe he's going to wear her down with his "charm" aka relentlessness. He so rarely mentions his crush on Candace, it feels like a forced storyline. And never in my life have I heard anyone refer to a boner as a "ner." When I hear ner, I think of babies calling bananas "naners." Safe to say that wholesome word association is ruined forever, thanks Kortni.

Yes to all of this, but especially the bolded. Society tends to frame childhood disability in terms of the sacrifice and martyrdom of the parents and how the disabled child's condition is a big ol' wet blanket from letting able family members enjoy their lives or live out their original trajectory for their futures. As an adult, I still get "But don't you feel guilty? You need to give them a break and let them live their lives! What happens when they dieee?" because disability is just a huge fucking inconvenience that derails everyone's lives for decades. But Ali is 8. She depends on Leah to advocate for her, but all Leah can fixate on is desperately ignoring her inevitable demise, which is hugely damaging to both her day-to-day quality of life and overall lifespan. Leah needs to stop using Ali's MD for sympathy and wallowing in how the diagnosis is affecting her and start letting Ali live her life as happy and healthy as possible, and not by making the idealized memories she wants for herself via sports teams and disability-unfriendly vacations.

Awkward that Ty had the best chemistry this ep with the female cop. Aubrey Joseph is 20 irl, but those scenes read borderline romantic to me and seemed very peer-to-peer for a 16-year-old boy and a 30something cop. I know it wasn't intentional, but he had a much better dynamic with her than Tandy or Evita imo. Tandy watching Ty and Evita make out in the warehouse was weird too lol. Fully expecting a Ty/Tandy hookup by the end of season 2, although I'm glad they're avoiding jealousy and love triangles for now.

While I agree that the diagnosis is devastating and stressful, I don't think people are faulting Leah for allowing Ali to enjoy special occasions. I think it's more convincing your child to not use her wheelchair, not requiring her to use her wheelchair 24/7 when walking actively accelerates her decline, and pushing her to participate in physically demanding sports that ABSOLUTELY speed her deterioration so she can be "like her (normal) sister" and so you can block out the fact that her disability exists. No matter how much they love Ali, and they do, Leah and Corey are always going to be ashamed of Ali's disability because I don't think they like the social embarrassment of having a "special" child that will inevitably be rejected by her peers, so they ignore Ali's diagnosis at the expense of her health. Also it's the parental guilt knee-jerk of "If I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist" extended to the dangerous logic of "the less time we spend reacting to it and letting it control her life, the healthier she'll be" which is fucking IDIOTIC and teetering on neglect given that her vital organs are already going downhill. And I know addiction is a disease, but driving while high with your kids in the car and forcing your young child to care for her disabled and toddler sisters while literally foraging for any food in the house is.....beyond shitty, so I'm not exactly overflowing with sympathy on that front, nor do I think Ali's diagnosis justifies Leah being in a hazy stupor and willfully endangering/neglecting all three kids, not to mention all the pressure on poor Gracie to keep the household afloat.

Nothing at all! But when you specifically have a strong preference for only mixed guys as seemed to be implied with Angel, there might be some internalized prejudice going on re: dating preferences. But Angel's biggest hurdle is for sure her lack of personality lol.

Eh, this one felt fake. How do you have a crush on your best friend for like 2 years (enough to Catfish them for 18 months) and then when she's actually open to it, you lose all interest after a few dates? Domo was pretty though.