SnarkEnthusiast

...keep shitting where you eat, I guess?

Who stays married when your wife leaves you for someone she's never even seen? And she's only 23/24??? Ouch. The catfisher being fat is an automatic guarantee of being dumped on the spot, even if the catfishee is also fat. It's sad because it proves their point and perpetuates the insecurities that led them to hide in the first place. Don't judge me, but Kiaira's pretty cute. I'd date her. The girl who catfished her reminds me of Syd from the band The Internet (irony). I can't imagine sexting someone while pretending to be your sister and knowing your "girlfriend" is technically getting off on the idea of your sister. Speaking of which, I don't know how much experience Kiaira has with women, but those nails are a big no no for any lesbian hoping to get laid.

BYE that looks like Kortni in drag. They must be hungry for cash, but I wonder what kind of jobs they work in the off season where you can quit for half the summer and then come back after being on national TV too wasted to stand, having sex, physically assaulting both strangers and your "friends," and peeing in any available receptacle.

Between her ambiguously flirtatious scenes with Brooke and over-interest in Kat's hookup, Sutton was giving off major bi vibes this ep. They wouldn't go there with two main characters, but there's definitely subtext.

@princelina I actually agree with all your rebuttal points except the Bev pronoun issue, but YMMV. ;) All of your scenarios would be interesting! I guess it's more accurate to say the show relies on heteronormativity and how transitioning impacts that relationship model. In this particular incarnation though, because women are the cis partners, I feel like there's much more pressure on them to be accommodating, whereas if cis straight dudes had wives transitioning to husbands, they'd be expected to bolt from the first ep.

Noted! Apologies if my previous post was hurtful to anyone. To clarify, I wasn't insinuating that I personally think Lucy is "in drag" or any less authentically a woman because of her presentation, just observing that Cindy seems to cope by perceiving her that way and it's strange that the producers let the repeated misnaming/misgendering of Lucy happen when they stood up for Karen and tried to correct Bev on numerous occasions.

lol and one of her is too many! Poor Hailey is going to be Olivia 2.0.

I believe they're all not only under 30 but early-mid 20s ...Korni had just turned 21 last summer, Nilsa is 23, Aimee is 24/25, and all the guys are around 25, which I think is the oldest age in the house. Aimee I especially remember for being 24 and reminding us on loop that she had just gotten out of a "10 year relationship" which makes her sound like a 35-year-old divorcee, but really it was a Catelynn and Tyler situation where townies just never break up their middle school boyfriends/girlfriends out of convenience or lack of options. Sunbeds, heavy drinking of hard liquor, smoking, and in Kirk's case it looks like chewing tobacco, can really age the hell out of you. Codi isn't gay, just vain and metro. Last season I kept waiting for him to hook up with Aimee because there seemed to be a little sexual tension and they look like gender-flipped versions of the same rode-hard person lol, but their fights were so bitter and nasty. He and Kirk play up the mischievous middle school boy persona when they want to be cute, but they really seem like undercover assholes with anger issues, especially when drinking. I don't know where this sudden Candace infatuation came from, because I hardly remember them interacting last season (at least Gus and Nilsa have unrequited "history"), but I hope she doesn't go there because she's WAY too good for him! She's the most well-adjusted and prettiest in the house imo. She doesn't need his trainwreck ass, although I guess it's all relative if she's actually dating a violent felon. Stay classy, Korti! Although I give her props for being able to somehow fold her butt over her head because I don't get how anyone over the age of 3 can hold that position. I guess it makes sense with the lack of potty training. Bf feels staged. I hope the season teaser wasn't hinting at romance between her and Jeremiah. Unpopular opinion and I know he's kind of self-righteous but I think he's adorable and also just trying to be a good guy. I don't get how you can be blackout drunk before leaving the house and then hit up bars for hours, but I guess that's where puking/peeing happens. How do you even stand?! Nilsa is...Nilsa.

I just want to add that I want to sue Cindy for personal injury after being forced to hear "I bend over and you go boing." It's been weeks and I haven't been able to scrub that mental image from my head. It's weird that the producers routinely scolded Bev for refusing to call Karen the right name/pronouns, but let Cindy do the same to Lucy the entire season without comment. I guess it's because Lucy hadn't begun transitioning yet and Bev was purposefully misgendering out of spite? Still, it's obvious that Cindy was trying to compartmentalize Lucy as Troy's hidden drag persona or something, which feels just as harmful. Also, Karen's a raging asshole but I also strongly dislike Bev. She's painfully airheaded and has all the common sense of a 14-year-old girl, and if drunkenly hitting on that 20-something at the end was any indication, she's on the cusp of a very cringey midlife crisis that will probably be coupled with a drinking problem. Speaking of big age gaps, it still cracks me up that Cindy was so proud of herself for scoring Troy as a hot young boy toy or something. I cannot BELIEVE Lucy is 15 years younger than her. She looks older than Cindy, especially when presenting as male. Chain smoking really fucks you up. Re: "why didn't this show feature trans men?" maybe they will next season, but to me the answer is obvious: it's just not as titillating. Culture and society is so overinvested in manhood and masculinity that there's a horrified fascination with a "man" willfully "choosing" to become a woman and perform femininity, which we're conditioned to view as weak and embarrassing, but particularly so coming from a masculine subject. So much of this show relied on the humiliation of the cis wives "are you a LESBIAN now? how will sex work? what about the PENISSSSS?!?" because they're effectively losing everything cis straight women are taught to value in their relationship, mainly the idea of a strong, masculine partner. In their minds (or at least Bev and Cindy's), all that's left is a whirlpool of shame. The show seems to be playing both sides in simultaneously trying to humanize their struggle, but also gawk at how they didn't realize, how poorly their wives pass, and how embarrassing it is that they've now fallen into accidental gay relationships as straight women. I know Stacey's bi and by far the most accommodating, but it's still the same spectacle with Leslie. In contrast, many trans men "start out" as lesbians with long term girlfriends. Some lesbians do break up with their now-boyfriends who decide to transition because they only want to date women, but when you're already in the LGBT community or already bi/attracted to men, acceptance is easier. I'm assuming sex doesn't change much because tons of lesbians use the mythical strap-on all the time lol. And unlike estrogen, going on T (testosterone) sends your libido through the roof, so if anything your sex life is going to massively improve as long as your partner is up for it. The fear factor of having no/"weird"/dick free sex drove about 60% of the drama on this show (90% for Cindy/Lucy). All this to say the producers would probably be scrambling for narrative if the transitions were reversed.

Cas is basically a product of Tumblr, which has a big community of trans kids who are high school/college aged. I'm sure the sense of community is great, but as high schoolers are wont to think, every adult is a fucking idiot and they are the most enlightened people in the planet. Combine this with Tumblr/Twitter's overblown moral superiority and victim complex and you get a Cas, although it's rare to find someone willing to be that smug and insufferable in real life when you can't hide behind an avatar. LMAOOO at "impoverished human sad trombone." This is totally true but they both actually have similar issues with extreme emotional regression and wallowing in their own misery. That final shot of Lawren's family showed everyone, including the kids, looking so withdrawn and drained. It seems like Jennifer and the kids hold their breath walking on eggshells every day waiting to see how Lawren's mood is and blame themselves for her depression because she talks about it constantly and uses it to justify ignoring her family. That's exhausting and unfair to them. Teenagers shouldn't have to constantly worry that their middle aged parent is suicidal. As others have said, Leslie is in a perpetual state of arrested development and always will be. The transition is just another excuse to avoid adult responsibilities and caring for her kids. Her response to everything will always be "but I'm having surgery/recovering/on hormones/depressed/etc.!" Nothing is ever her fault. Stacey is such a loving woman and I'd marry her in a heartbeat. Her proposal made me tear up. Leslie takes her for granted and always expects her to pick up all the slack. I agree with the poster who said she'll always be Stacey's extra child. Sadly, Stacey realized too late that she married a directionless, entitled townie and playing house and having kids soon after high school, while fitting an 18-22-year-old's perception of adulthood, doesn't inherently give your life passion or meaning. On top of that, her wife is an empathy black hole who will always make everything about herself and her struggle.

Also, Colin was giving me serious Lenny from Of Mice and Men vibes.

It did register somewhere between Hitler Youth and 1950s milkman, but hey, it's the thought that counts? 8-year-olds aren't up on hair trends luckily lol. He obviously wanted to make it a big event which was cute and I melted when he called her "his sweetie."

To be fair, I think Chelsea requests/influences the crew to film it every year to show off what a great dad Cole is and maybe to stick it to Adam's family lol. And Cole's effort and planning was beyond adorable. I know he's a dork and slightly grating at times with his schmoopy baby act with Chelsea, but I must admit my crush on him grows every episode. He's the biggest catch of the franchise imo.

Also don't you love when Kail said "I only warned you we were calling Jeremy because if you surprised me with Javi, I'd kill you!" Oh so in the podcast where you talk about how you/Javi and Leah/Jeremy are supposedly the same, Javi is off-limits? And then you and your Instagram wannabe friend prank call him like giggling middle schoolers to ask if he'd date Leah again in front of their child? Real mature, Kail. Kail and Leah were actually right on the money when they said Germy and Javi were lying their asses off about wanting to get back together in private for some ex sex without accountability to their current flavors of the month. If there's one thing that Kail and Leah know, it's shady ex sex while stringing along your partner (hi, Jordan and Cory and apparently Dom? Kail only dated the poor girl for what, 6 weeks and allegedly fucked Javi while they were together? I swear it's a kink for Kail. I'm sure she'll have sex with Javi again before his new kid is born because it turns her on knowing he has a pregnant gf waiting for him at home.) Takes a ho to know one. Not sure why Jace's dinner order is generating so much discussion....kids love ordering "treats" they don't get at home at restaurants. Drinking half a virgin daiquiri at one meal isn't going to make him an alcoholic. Boys like steak. He had leftovers. The coke was overkill but Jenelle is obviously trying to bribe him for his affection. I pounded down Shirley Temples every time we went out as a kid. Jace has way bigger problems. Given his environment, he'll be smoking and drinking by middle school. I won't be surprised if he goes to juvie and/or gets someone pregnant by 17 but it's not like he'll be sitting in prison therapy at 22 saying "it all started with that virgin daiquiri when I was 8..." lol

Yes! You can definitely tell she's one of those weird, self-martyring "haven't dated/had sex in X years because of my kids" types, but that's for when kids are in grade school (paging Kail, Jenelle, and Leah), not able-bodied 21+ year olds. Continuing to maintain that cesspool apartment to act as the gatekeeper of your adult daughters' sex lives and wax poetic about how everyone they ever hook up with is a deadbeat that must be driven away by The Family is bizarre. Add to that poor Nova and Stella who are living souvenirs of Briana's poor sexual decisions that now have to be raised by the Coven Commune only fuels Roxanne's insistence on their codependency. Forget trapping Devoin or Luis - Roxanne uses Nova and Stella to trap Briana. I don't understand why Brittany stays there, other than unmotivated laziness or being brainwashed into coddling Briana for life.

Roxanne kissed Briana with more passion than any of the couples on this show.

I don't think Stan's violence necessarily means he'll go after Angel. He wasn't menacing Patty or the therapist, just upset that his kids were being taken from him, embarrassed to be caught, and taken aback that a supposed doctor's appointment turned into a biased interrogation about his infidelity and sexuality. His boss needed an ass kicking three weeks ago and quite possibly has the much punchable face of 1987, so that gets a pass for me. Not sure where the narrative itself stands on the "is Stan gay" debate. He was so confident with Angel that he was straight, and while I understand why others assume he's gay and the lack of trans awareness in the 80s, he seems to be crumbling more with each suspicion and I don't really want the story to endorse the "sex with trans women as gay denial" stereotype. Oh hey, Candy's beefcake is Laith Ashley from Strut! What a sexy man. Eye candy for sure, I hope they have a subplot.

Well, that was a doozy! The Sutton adultery plot was very random for a one night stand. Liked Jane/Kat and it was awesome seeing Kat have something to do that had nothing to do with Adena. And then that last scene had to happen, ugh! Yes they're cute, yes they're groundbreaking, but does everything either of them ever do have to come back to their fucking relationship? I love them, but this constant 15-year-old angst is too much. It's the same insecurities every goddamn ep. With that said, I find it fascinating that Kat is the one struggling with a wandering imagination. With most TV lesbian ships, the aloof more experienced one cheats on the infatuated one because they feel smothered (actually, with any TV ship). Every word out of Kat's mouth is about how great Adena is and Adena was complaining about Kat being lackluster in bed just weeks ago (not to mention last week implied she'd fucked her way through half of the NYC lesbian art scene,) so having Kat rather than Lesbian Sex Goddess Adena fantasize about someone else is intriguing. Although from a narrative standpoint it makes no sense - Adena is her first girlfriend, they're in total honeymoon phase, they have sex all the time, their only fight was about vaguely mediocre sex which they promptly fixed with mind-blowing sex, and suddenly Adena goes on a weekend retreat and Kat's dreaming of being fingered by a woman she's talked to for all of three minutes? Is it a power fantasy because we're supposed to assume Adena has had sex with Leila and Kat subconsciously resents all of Adena's experience?

I don't think they actually fall in love with her as much as cave to pressure by producers to say they're developing feelings for all by Week X to continue whatever established narrative about that particular dude. A lot of them will eagerly jump whenever the crew snaps their fingers to increase their chances for BIP/The Bachelor/other franchises (oh hey, Jasmine and Chase on Ex on the Beach) or just straight up Instagram whoredom. Frankly, I think most of them realize that getting paid to sit around resorts and drink with an endless parade of hot people to have sex with is just more fun than a traditional job. Mentally, none of them seem to develop past 22, and it's not like you can go back to your office/teaching job after the nation sees you fucking topless in the ocean or talking about your boner or whatever. Add taking away their phones, cutting them off from news/social media, and the fact that at least 85% have major drinking problems in an sea of free daily booze and yeah, I'd buy some of them maybe thinking they're in love with the lead after a few weeks out of sheer social deprivation and infatuation out of boredom. It's all psychological smoke and mirrors by design.

Hell yeah. Rewarding your ex with a quickie to celebrate the end of his first serious relationship that you badgered him relentlessly into ending is Kail 101. I'm sure she ripped off his/her pants the second he (allegedly) said she was right. Nothing turns Kail on more or faster than affirmation of her own superiority, especially from an ex she wants to dominate. I wouldn't be surprised if she made him repeat "Kail is always right!" so she could climax. From Javi's POV, I doubt there's that much depth or perspective lol. He's just a shit-eating ninth grade boy when it comes to Kail. He gets off on irritating her and then flirting and teasing her back into the sack - which, in his mind, he can do whenever he wants, depending on the mood of the day. It's the "you say you hate me but I know I could have you if I wanted" mentality that creates an endless loop of high school-style sexual tension and petty fighting between Kail/Javi, and, to a much lesser extent, Kail/Jo, since that's faded over the years thanks to Vee and Vivi. And this might be a stretch, but her weirdly horrified overreaction to Bone's teasing that they sing Isaac Happy Birthday in Spanish continues her track record of discomfort with Latin/Hispanic culture. Why is a woman with two Hispanic exes and half Hispanic/Latino children so repulsed by their culture? I don't get it.

Not even halfway through the ep yet, but that Javi/Kail aside and Kail's retelling of it just makes me wonder why you'd want to hook up with her again from Javi's perspective. Clearly he told her about the breakup ahead of time to kiss her ass/ego and grease the skids (ew) for a hookup. He's a smug, shit-eating asshole with control issues (so is Kail), but why would you want to hook up with your ex who has done nothing but bitterly dig her heels in to spite your new relationship and whose only reaction to its demise is to gloat "I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! NOW SAYYY IT. SAY ITTT!" (I'm guessing while furiously masturbating)? I swear, Javi has some sort of humiliation kink which is the only reason why they continue to be sexually attracted to each other lol. Chelsea made me laugh with her concern about hiding her pregnancy from the employees of Party City. What are they going to do, call the tabloids?

I can't really enjoy any scene involving Stan/Angel/Patty/douchebag boss because I'm just holding my breath for the emotional trigger to be pulled enough for someone to go rage murder Angel. It's stressful! Interesting that Blanca hasn't started showing HIV symptoms yet - I thought the progression in the 80s was swift and brutal, in a matter of months. Or did the decline only start when it became AIDS? Wait........do Patty and Angel/Blanca/etc. live on the same floor?!

Put the three of them naked in the woods in a fight to the death. Naked and Afraid meets Heart of Darkness lol. But no, the kiss ass producers are too interested in coddling their asshole behavior.

No it doesn't, I hope my last post didn't imply that. It's just that I think we have to remember that drama on this show is never self-contained because these morons have to drag their kids into everything. Chelsea doesn't to that, to be fair, but even she seems to ask/tell Aubree a lot of vaguely leading questions about Cole and Adam. Let the girl have her own opinions! And besides Adam, what would drama for Chelsea even look like? "oh no, I forgot to wear a shirt referencing being a mom today!" Lol she doesn't seem to talk to the other TMs (thankfully)

Exactly! Like I know she's snoozefest and a little too into bragging and preening to the cameras/social media about her Pinterest perfect life and also smug/self-impressed that she bagged Cole after willingly giving up so many years angsting over the human dumpster fire that is Adam.........but also sorry that it's "boring" that she treats her kids well and lives a stable life? At what point does hoping for drama become however unintentionally hand-waving trauma to the kids? Unless it's snuggie-clad Roxanne weeping at Briana at 2pm in a random mall food court (HILARIOUS. So many questions.), "drama" on this show means domestic violence, emotional abuse, restraining orders, abusing the crew, intentionally putting your disabled child at constant risk of injury, animal abuse, jail (gel), police, CPS, and miserable children. This is popcorn fodder for us, but those kids will be impacted by the Daddy of the month, screaming matches, and custody fights the rest of their lives. But hey, dumbass Chelsea let her poor sweet French bulldog puppy get mauled to death on camera by that rando neighboorhood dog because she was too fucking stupid to watch and/or carry the poor thing, so hey, even the blandest will always be negligent shitheads in some way lol. Everyone glosses over that and it still makes my stomach turn. Everyone justifiably worries about the kids, but dear God, think of those poor pets too. For now, I say let Chelsea bore me to sleep if it means her kids are happy. Yes, her newfound Instagrammable family-fueled superiority complex is annoying, but I'll happily take it over the rest of this flaming shitshow.