SnarkEnthusiast

She stated that it was three hours, which suggests an hour and a half on either side. This is my issue with Danielle! In its simplest form, the most innocuous explanation is that she's just not very emotive, but Bobby is super emotive, so their love languages don't match up. Eventually, Bobby is going to find her withholding and Danielle is going to find him exhausting. Trust me, as the over emotive, very gushy person in relationships it's a struggle that I know well LOL. I don't think she's maliciously cold or detached like we've seen with some past wives, but there's just no there there. Like Unethical Rachel said, he pours out his feelings for her in really exuberant declarations of love and commitment and she just blinks at him. It's weird, because I don't necessarily see her as not into him and it's not like he's some dimwitted pool boy (or poo boy, heh) that she seduced into being her live-in servant. Frankly, I think all of her exes have just been incompetent or unemotional and so she just never had to learn to do emotional labor in relationships or take someone else's feelings into account, which is looking more and more like an intentional choice on her part maybe subconsciously because she didn't want the stress or the blame for actually hurting the other person. It sounds like she just mothers them until she gets bored with the sex, probably delivers a stock monologue about being fed up with doing everything and being overwhelmed with fostering, and then moves on. With Bobby, she seems so shocked that she's able to please someone with merely existing that she's coasting on her usual level of communication, only this time, he is actually doing everything and is going to burn out. The puppy diarrhea argument is overblown in a weak attempt to bring out some drama, but Bobby is eventually going to emotionally starve from Danielle's total lack of validation and his earnest 24/7 attempts to please her and interpret her silence as rejection or lack of interest. It's definitely a self-created problem on Danielle's part and it's not even that much of a problem. It's not as though Bobby is making shrines to her or desperately professing his love every day like some creepy stalker. He's just genuinely excited about his feelings for her and their future together. I would love for anyone to be not only truly giddy about my presence in their life, but to constantly reaffirm their joy in super affectionate ways and his cute little declarations? He's adorable. You guys already know that I'm swooning over Bobby so I don't have much sympathy for Danielle. But again, I will say that I think she's so thrilled by finally having a caretaker that she forgets that he's also her husband with emotional needs beyond sex. Her weird comments about her parents not being affectionate suggests she has overall issues with intimacy and probably interprets any show of affection as clinginess that she must retreat from.

Kortni is a mess. The no pregnancy celebrations were overemphasized as show filler I think - definitely producer driven in hopes that it would set Kortni off -but I genuinely believe it was from the genuinely relieved standpoint of "let's pop bottles because you're not pregnant at 22 by a violent drug-addled psychopath who you're terrified of" and not her apparent interpretation of "let's celebrate you not being pregnant because babies suck and you're not worthy of reproducing and would make a terrible mother." Also Candace is apparently the only girl in the house who hasn't had a miscarriage so Kortni should realize that they'd all be sensitive to that subject? It's not like she had a miscarriage three days ago – it was a shoddy pregnancy test that they interpreted as maybe being positive for drama. They're excited that she isn't pregnant by Logan and I don't get why she doesn't realize that. They also know that she is again, 22 in a dead-end job and a barely functional alcoholic. I think the housemates are just saying that none of them would want to have a baby right now because they're not ready, but somehow Kortni is taking that as personal judgement. These girls just look for any excuse to feel persecuted and play the victim for attention and drama. This show continues its streak of unfortunate stomach turning visuals with "I had to look down and see that fetus in my underwear." Yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel horrible for anyone that's ever had a miscarriage and that sentence alone makes me never, ever want to get pregnant. I would be scarred for life. Her conversation with Jeremiah was heartbreaking. All of the supposed sexual tension in the house goes nowhere. Gus clearly only barely wants to have sex with Nilsa and only passively kisses her when she initiates and they are both hammered. The rest of the time, neither of them do anything except whenever Gus makes out with another girl and Nilsa glowers from afar....but she doesn't make a move any other time so...why the jealousy? Looks like the Candace/Codi fakery will be dragged out another season now that she's dumped Gator (and I'm still hard-pressed to believe that was an actual relationship). Jeremiah and Kortni were the only two I even vaguely cared about and now they're stalled by the death of his grandfather. I highly doubt mourning your grandfather dying is good kindling for hot/emotional friends-to-lovers sex, so I bet they're going to leave it on some lukewarm trite "we'll see what happens" bullshit. What a boring season. If Jeremiah really does go through with leaving next week, I hope it's the season finale because I have zero interest in watching the girls fight with everyone for the next however many episodes.

"Guys shut up, you're acting my age." I'm 10 minutes in and Aniko is the MVP of this ep.

Also tired of seeing the babies' Chef Boyardee diarrhea explosion. We get it, TLC, multiples can be gross & messy!

I haven't watched the show in at least 3 years so they really lost me in terms of the plot (and man, PB is kind of a dick), but yay, PB and Marceline finally kissed!

Good Lord, I've never seen a more appalling collection of terrible names in my life. It's like a legion of poorly spelled Gen Z names and then to get the middle names, they threw darts at a board filled with the names of Confederate soldiers and inanimate objects. Blu Wellington??? Yes, because I want my infant to evoke thoughts of uncooked meat.

Ah you're right, edited! Oops, but my point still stands lol. I don't think Dale is malicious in any case. I don't recall him "snarling" although my little crush could admittedly be clouding my memory.

This feels a bit melodramatic. Critiques about this show being The Hazel Show are warranted to a certain degree as well as the majority opinion that Dale shouldn't have flat-out said that Hazel is his favorite and show her obvious favoritism, but I wouldn't go as far as say that Dale is cold or short-tempered with Parker or any of the other quints. His "antagonism" with Riley is clearly a running joke in the family or set up by producers. It's just supposed to make the audience giggle that a grown man is pretending to be afraid of a two-year-old (see the cutaways to Dale's mock blank stares of "fear" while Riley is practicing during their karate lesson). I also think part of the joke is that Riley is just going to do what she does and isn't paying attention to anything Dale says. He has a soft spot for Hazel that might be awkwardly obvious as the girls get older which could be a problem, but I genuinely believe that Dale loves all of the quintuplets.

Also, Bria can save it with "I'll always have feelings for Zak" as if they dated for years. You drunkenly made out for 3 hours before you (and only you) decided you were a "couple." Chill out, this isn't middle school.

I'm tired of watching Bria's manic swings between insisting she doesn't give a shit about Zak and pretending to be civil to Hulking out 30 mins later when any girl so much as breathes in his direction. She genuinely needs to be medicated. She's the type of girl who stalks her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Don't even get me started on Kenya. So she can give a random dude head and cuddle with her ex all day in front of Tevin and she expects him to be cool with it, but it's suddenly some huge breach of trust that he dry humped Jasmine in the shower? While Kenya was basically whisper-promising to her ex that they would get back together as soon as the show was over? She's full of shit and a total hypocrite. Cam was so sweet and supportive to Kayla (?) through all her ex's gaslighting nonsense.

Never underestimate a mother's ability to dissociate from morality to a terrifying degree when her son is in jeopardy. The only reason the impact fell a bit flat was because Debra Messing's acting is...bad. I totally fell for the molesting uncle, although imo no one would be that cagey about weed when your niece has been missing for days and you're a target of suspicion. Also, I know there's an obvious power dynamic, but what teenage girl would be nervous and excited to be starting a sexual affair with her uncle? Her dad should've been able to guess from the texts and the uncle's GIANT pot jar that he was her dealer.

Whoa, just snooped his IG. He's dating some super androgynous rail-thin singer/photographer. Definitely not the type I'd envision he'd go for, but she seems like an interesting lady. I guess because the rest of them are turning into old men, I envisioned he'd either be settled with someone more vanilla or dating another comic. She definitely screams millennial rebel lol. But their cat is precious.

Yes! He was one of my first childhood crushes during the original one. He's still a fox.

Dale and Hazel are adorable. When he was cuddling her...my heart. I know most of you think he's a hammy famewhore, but watching how in love he is with Hazel is giving me a weird crush on him lol. Nooooo back to potty training nonsense next week! So much secondhand embarrassment for the girls. We do NOT need to watch them try on big girl underwear or Hazel poop on the floor.

I am crushing on Bobby HARDCORE, you guys. His absolute adoration of Danielle is such a turn on. Now Dr. Pepper is going to try to start shit with them because...Bobby is picking up poop from a foster dog that will probably be there a week tops?

Wait, so this isn't scripted? Does that mean Siesta Keys was reality too? These are real people with actual kids they had? Why is everything they say so stilted and cardboard? It sounds like the world's worst line readings from Z-list actors. I just assumed this and Siesta Keys were a misguided attempt by MTV to combine their popular reality premises with bargain basement scripted drama.

Fair enough. Who posts that on social media? lol

I haven't seen the guy, but everyone seems to be highlighting the age difference like it's the worst thing the world, and frankly I don't see how it's that bad. It's only seven years and it's awkward dating a little younger when the generations are that tight and your boyfriend's age is equidistant from yours and your daughter's, but a 25-year-old is a full on adult and hardly a boy toy for a 32-year-old. It's not like she's shacking up with a college sophomore or something. If it was a 25-year-old woman dating a 32-year-old man, I don't think anyone would bat an eye or call her arm candy. I guess there's the anxiety that he'd be into Lexus or she'd be into him when she gets older, but that's a lot of projecting. I just don't see why everyone is so scandalized by his age in particular. Kelsey is incredibly immature and stunted in her teen years for obvious reasons, so it makes sense she would go with a vapid Instagrammer as opposed to settling down with a balding 40something with a salary.

At least Kortni isn't pregnant! That would've been a mess with the restraining order violations. Even though we knew she wasn't from social media, she had me fooled for half a second when she dragged out the prank for so long. That girl coming over with the specific intention of banging Jeremiah and then suddenly put the brakes on because of Codi's snoring of all things was very weird. You already know you're going to have sex with a guy who has a roommate and he clearly wasn't going to wake up. It was annoying, but I don't get why that was a dealbreaker. I guess she had already decided she didn't want to have sex with him and needed an excuse to leave. Regardless, I'm not sure we needed the shot of Jeremiah trying to walk with a boner. Color me pleasantly surprised that Kortni and Jeremiah might turn romantic. They might be my slight crush on Jeremiah talking, but that's most exciting development we had all season. I never thought I'd say this, but what we've seen this season has convinced me that they would be really good together and they are miles above Codi and Candace's half assed will they/won't they "storyline." I still don't get where his attraction to her would come from and she seems like she'd be way too dramatic for him at times, but each their own. I guess she's only your sister while you're in the friend zone LOL. It was actually kind of sweet and unexpected that Kortni was the first one to realize her feelings and is shy to tell him. I hope they get together, but next week looks like it's going to be derailed with even more stupid fights. Aren't they running out of things to fight about?

Part of it is probably not taking bisexuality seriously, especially when teenagers and particularly girls express same gender attraction because it so easily written off as a phase or a play for attention. Maybe she wishes Lexus had started experimenting earlier to avoid this situation altogether LOL. But I think most of Kelsey's issues and fixation on Shayden stem from the fact that in her mind, he's the catalyst for the corruption of her daughter. He was convincing Lexus to sneak out and have sex with him when she was what, 13? That's an early loss of innocence that must be hard for Kelsey to swallow. Shayden marks the beginning of history repeating itself and is a physical manifestation of her failure as a mother. Whenever she sees him, she's reminded of the fact that she couldn't convince her daughter to follow a better path. Sure, you can and probably should blame Kelsey's shitty parenting, but from her perspective, it will always be his fault and she will never be able to forget that which is why she can't stand having him in her presence. He's a huge psychological trigger for her because when he is in the house, she remembers all her parental shortcomings. She has no such emotional connection to Lilly and was probably grateful to not have to babysit as much for a few weeks. Plus, even though women should still technically use protection, Lexus and Lilly can have all the sex they want with no risk of pregnancy, whereas if she and Shayden are too lazy to put on a condom one time, it's baby #2 for Lexus and another kid for Kelsey to raise. So there's not as much pressure and anxiety to constantly monitor their sexual relationship. tl;dr from an emotional and procreative standpoint Kelsey doesn't give a shit about Lexus' relationship with Lilly, but hates Shayden with the passion of 1000 suns because she holds him responsible for ruining Lexus' life and miring her own finally stable adult life with unplanned babies and unwanted pregnancies that she didn't sign up for but now one douchebag's carelessness is going to dictate the next 20 years for her, so I can get why she's obsessed with keeping him away.

I agree about Lexus not really paying attention to being a new mom and seemingly being flippant about motherhood, but the rest of this post feels unnecessarily misogynistic and slut shaming towards a 16-year-old girl navigating multiple abusive relationship dynamics. Anyway, I don't think it was a conscious thought process by Lexus of "I'm going to be super sexy and toy around with both genders! Fuck motherhood!" and probably more that she was tired of Shayden treating her like crap and wanted to spite him emotionally. She also likely rationalized her affair with Lilly as not "real cheating" because Shayden himself drooled over the idea of her having sexual fantasies about girls. I still can't believe the number of men who don't consider their girlfriends/wives hooking up with women to be true infidelity...because women having sex doesn't count, I guess? and besides, most of her affair with Lilly seemed to be the two of them playing house with Scarlet, so even though Lexus' affair was obviously primarily selfish and self motivated, she did appear to be trying to find someone who would supplement the parenting dynamic that Shayden is clearly incapable of giving. Now, of course it didn't work out because she's an impulsive 16-year-old who will do anything for a shred of validation or affection, and I'm probably giving her too much credit, but I think her intention in terms of the secondary benefit of providing Scarlet with another parent was good, albeit naïve and shortsighted.

When Jennifer said she was the only kid to know the baby's gender because she was (previously?) "in Joy's buddy system"...why is that even still a factor when Joy doesn't even live there anymore? I get that that means Joy raised Jennifer before she got married, but why is she still considered a leader to a whole cohort of siblings years after moving out? Why are they continuing to foster the idea of mini families and quasi-tribalism among siblings? Also, having "special" older siblings that you keep "special" secrets for is probably a dynamic JB & Michelle and the elder siblings want to discourage after your older bother was caught molesting your sisters.....not the best optics considering their history. Although at this point, all the kids left in house probably have zero memory or weren't even born yet while Josh living there. Lauren will be able to do her weird baby voice porn star post-marital orgasms without any witnesses in that drafty murder house.

My favorite line from my friend was "well she's not going to sleep with you, but if I sleep with her, it will be a win for you vicariously because it will be kind of like your slept with her." Basically "You should not only accept that me having sex with her is inevitable, but be excited about it, because I'm realistically the closest you'll ever get." What????? The one in high school never actually hooked up with anyone in her defense, but whenever one of our friends had a boyfriend, she'd intentionally flirt with them in front of them in super obnoxious, attention-seeking ways. Then in college she graduated to basically cheating on her boyfriend with women (they had an agreement that light kissing wasn't "cheating" but she pushed that boundary a LOT behind his back). Ironically, my college friend had also dragged a guy into a very reluctantly open relationship because she essentially wanted to fuck whoever she wanted and still know he'd be at home waiting for her. Narcissists are just insatiable lol. They'll do anything for a sexual ego trip and they get off on their own instant gratification trumping people's feelings. They almost do it intentionally because they like the tension and drama of keeping the secret or the other person finding out and then having to work to win them back. Kenya is DEFINITELY that girl.

My mom used to put MASSIVE oversized shoelace bows in my hair in the 90s! I think it's just exaggerating how small and cute little girls are with something super girly lol. Re: Adam, I agree and he does seem much more uptight and defensive than the rest of the adults, which is when you know your ego's gone to your head. He better wean himself off quasi-reality stardom because I have a feeling the quints will be yesterday's news once Sweet Home Sextuplets starts, especially because their three (!!!) older boys seem to love hamming it up for the cameras, in contrast to shy, introverted Blayke who is stuck playing Mini Mommy alone until the quints get old enough to have real conversations with her.

Shamoy is beautiful. LOL at Calli calling Brett Zak. Re: Kenya, claiming you didn't realize your "best friend" had a crush on the guy she was talking to 24/7 in a house where the sole purpose of socializing is for romance................OK. She seems like one of those girls who makes herself feel superior by convincing herself she could have anyone that her friends want. I had two different friends like that in high school and college and they were exhausting. Anytime they knew you liked someone, they would become obsessed with getting their attention for themselves. They would hook up with them behind your back and then do the exact same wide-eyed routine of how they "didn't know" or "didn't mean for it to happen." Bullshit, you just wanted to prove to yourself that you can have whoever you want whenever you want and knowing someone else likes them jerks off your ego more. Lewis is annoying as fuck too and thinks flashing his shit eating grin will get him out of everything. Asia deserves so much better and needs to get away from both of them ASAP. They're childish opportunists who will drag her down their self-created rabbit holes of drama.