S01.E07: MAFS: Happily Ever After?

[humbleopinion]

Couples Reunited: Cast gathers in Boston to meet Baby LD and to earn their Lifetime paycheck by meeting with "the experts" for advice. Jephte, stop stringing Shawniece along, if you will never love her then cut bait.

Bobby, you are being played, bruh...plenty of women have sex while nauseated....completely normal....

[Crazy Bird Lady]

So, Shawniece is the guru who finally got it through Danielle's thick, self-centered head that Bobby still needs love and intimacy?!

Wow. Just wow.

[Gem 10]

Geeze Danielle, PLEASE give Bobby a kiss or something.  Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can turn into an ice queen.  Maybe if he buys you the house of your dreams pronto, you’ll give him some sexy time?  When Danielle has the baby, I fear she will not give him any attention as she will have many more excuses.

[Gem 10]

On 12/10/2018 at 9:44 AM, humbleopinion said:

Couples Reunited: Cast gathers in Boston to meet Baby LD and to earn their Lifetime paycheck by meeting with "the experts" for advice. Jephte, stop stringing Shawniece along, if you will never love her then cut bait.

Bobby, you are being played, bruh...plenty of women have sex while nauseated....completely normal....

Let me add to that .. and tired, have cramps, pissed off about something, etc.etc.  LOL.

[shouldbedancing]

I understand what Pastor Cal was saying to Jephte... logically. Like there is a lot to be said about your attitude and the story you tell yourself. It does help dictate how you feel and act in life. But it still seems wrong that he's encouraging Jephte to talk himself into being in love with Shawniece. Girl deserves better than that! She's always put her entire heart on the line. Jephte just doesn't feel it and he never will. Is being married out of obligation better than nothing at all? I don't think so. I think they're both wasting their time. Shawniece takes it like a champ, though. I don't know how many times she's heard Jephte say that he doesn't feel anything for her.

[Kiss my mutt]

Danielle sure got her perfect match but Bobby sure didn’t.

How sad that when prompted to give Bobby a compliment she hemmed and hawed and then came up with “You’re a good dog dad”. What choice does he have?

With Danielle, it’s all me, me, me. She already wants to be knocked out for labor and delivery, stop breastfeeding when baby gets teeth, etc. There won’t be anything left for Bobby. This is your life now.

It’s not unusual for women to want these things necessarily but in context of how she is so demanding about her comfort and her way in other areas, it just adds another layer to her selfishness. 

And Danielle getting all jealous because Ashley is moving. Their place is way smaller than what Danielle has so I think it’s reasonable to want to move.  For Danielle, it’s just her whim that she should have everything exactly how she wants and it looks like she’s getting it. Way to go, princess. 

[endure]

Triplicate post 🙄

Edited December 12, 2018 by endure

[endure]

Triplicate post 😩

Edited December 12, 2018 by endure

[endure]

I was so hoping for the corny rate your marriage to see what Bobby & Danielle woud flash knowing it couldn’t possibly be 10’s.

[princelina]

1 hour ago, shouldbedancing said:

I understand what Pastor Cal was saying to Jephte... logically. Like there is a lot to be said about your attitude and the story you tell yourself. It does help dictate how you feel and act in life. But it still seems wrong that he's encouraging Jephte to talk himself into being in love with Shawniece. Girl deserves better than that! She's always put her entire heart on the line. Jephte just doesn't feel it and he never will. Is being married out of obligation better than nothing at all? I don't think so. I think they're both wasting their time. Shawniece takes it like a champ, though. I don't know how many times she's heard Jephte say that he doesn't feel anything for her.

I think she does too, but for now she's there, and Jephte could have everything he SAYS he wants (nice family, kids with the same parents) if he would take Cal's advice, so I hope he gives it a shot.

[LakeGal]

It was funny they kept showing Dr Jessica's face when Bobby & Danielle were talking about their relationship.  She had the most sour look.

I also laughed when Shawniece asked Danielle who Henry was.  Danielle was acting like she loved Henry.  Shawniece was completely confused.

Anthony & Ashley do seem the most normal of the couples.  

I want to be a fly on the wall when Bobby's family watches this show.  They must know by now that Bobby is not happy with Danielle.  Bobby might pretend they are a 10.  But he is doing all the giving.  Danielle isn't even that hot.  She sure won the MAFS windfall.  

[Yeah No]

I couldn't help but notice the box of Mike's Cannolis that Anthony held as he and Ashley walked into their hotel room.  Leave it to the Italian Americans to know where to get the absolute BEST cannolis.  Coincidentally, Mr. Yeah No is in Boston today and has promised to bring home a box.  Yay!

I don't get this whole "I love her but I'm not IN love with her" garbage and I'm glad pastor Cal called Jephte out on that.  What does that even mean?  I have actually heard men say this before (never women, mind you), and I think it's just that old BS where a guy is content to bang a woman and have a half-way relationship with her, as in an affair of some sort, but isn't really emotionally invested in her enough to be in love with her.  Another form of "He's just not that into you".  I feel sorry for Shawniece as she deserves so much more.  He still has that "deer in the headlights" look, as if he feels like a trapped animal.  Dude was playing in the big leagues when he had no business doing so and now he's paying the price.  I don't blame pastor Cal for telling him it's all in his state of mind, but I doubt that's going to make any difference.  As long as he feels forced into it, any chance of genuine feelings developing in him for Shawniece are doomed.  Unfortunately the baby is providing more than enough obligation to stifle any real feelings from developing.  As long as Jephte is focused on being there out of obligation to the baby he'll never get there.

[Lusterleaf]

30 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I couldn't help but notice the box of Mike's Cannolis that Anthony held as he and Ashley walked into their hotel room.  Leave it to the Italian Americans to know where to get the absolute BEST cannolis.  Coincidentally, Mr. Yeah No is in Boston today and has promised to bring home a box.  Yay!

 

THE BEST!!! I am about a 4 hour drive from Boston but any time we make a trip up there, we hit up Mike's!

Edited December 12, 2018 by Lusterleaf

[Racj82]

27 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I couldn't help but notice the box of Mike's Cannolis that Anthony held as he and Ashley walked into their hotel room.  Leave it to the Italian Americans to know where to get the absolute BEST cannolis.  Coincidentally, Mr. Yeah No is in Boston today and has promised to bring home a box.  Yay!

I don't get this whole "I love her but I'm not IN love with her" garbage and I'm glad pastor Cal called Jephte out on that.  What does that even mean?  I have actually heard men say this before (never women, mind you), and I think it's just that old BS where a guy is content to bang a woman and have a half-way relationship with her, as in an affair of some sort, but isn't really emotionally invested in her enough to be in love with her.  Another form of "He's just not that into you".  I feel sorry for Shawniece as she deserves so much more.  He still has that "deer in the headlights" look, as if he feels like a trapped animal.  Dude was playing in the big leagues when he had no business doing so and now he's paying the price.  I don't blame pastor Cal for telling him it's all in his state of mind, but I doubt that's going to make any difference.  As long as he feels forced into it, any chance of genuine feelings developing in him for Shawniece are doomed.  Unfortunately the baby is providing more than enough obligation to stifle any real feelings from developing.  As long as Jephte is focused on being there out of obligation to the baby he'll never get there.

Love you but not in love with is a term that is pretty simple imo (and it's not gender specific). It's really just a kinder he's just not that into you. He cares about her but doesn't love her beyond a certain level. I love my friend but I'm not in love with them. That's all it means. He's not into her romantically. She's not on his mind the way one is when you totally in love with someone. Something most of us saw from minute one.

[Yeah No]

50 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

Love you but not in love with is a term that is pretty simple imo (and it's not gender specific). It's really just a kinder he's just not that into you. He cares about her but doesn't love her beyond a certain level. I love my friend but I'm not in love with them. That's all it means. He's not into her romantically. She's not on his mind the way one is when you totally in love with someone. Something most of us saw from minute one.

Of course it's not gender specific, but I myself have personally never heard any woman utter this exact phrase, meanwhile I have heard it word-for-word out of several men's mouths either on TV or from friends or even to ME at one point.  That's just because it's traditionally been a male thing to be more likely to go that far into a committed relationship with a woman they're not in love with.  I am sure there are all kinds of exceptions but I think even today it's still predominantly a male phenomenon.  If women want to have children they usually want to be in love with their baby daddy so that's often a consideration that is different between the sexes.   Men are often not even thinking that far ahead so rest contentedly in a relationship that isn't their "true love' more easily until they decide it's time to move on. They are more likely to think "What's the rush?" meanwhile they keep their options open for something better (i.e., someone that they fall in love with).  Women's biological clocks make that less likely if they want kids or even just a traditional marriage.  Mind you I'm 60 years old and have seen a lot of crap.  

Edited December 12, 2018 by Yeah No

[Crazy Bird Lady]

11 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Danielle sure got her perfect match but Bobby sure didn’t.

How sad that when prompted to give Bobby a compliment she hemmed and hawed and then came up with “You’re a good dog dad”. What choice does he have?

To be fair, there was more to that Danielle 'quote'. She went on to say "...So I know you'll be a really good father to our baby girl" or something to that effect. 

What surprised me was that, while the experts were applauding Danielle for finally beginning to compliment Bobby and show him a little bit of appreciation and positivity, Bobby himself was actually trying to deny that it was something he needed from Danielle (until the 'experts' called Bobby on that, and he eventually backed down from defending the idea Danielle might not be 100% perfect in every way...)

[Gem 10]

9 hours ago, princelina said:

I think she does too, but for now she's there, and Jephte could have everything he SAYS he wants (nice family, kids with the same parents) if he would take Cal's advice, so I hope he gives it a shot.

You are right, but if you remember, on their wedding day he stated she was not the type he wanted in a woman, and he looked disappointed.  That’s why I believe this show is ridiculous.  I feel you really have to be in love with someone to marry them as marriage is hard enough.  The other couples that made it must have had some spark when they first saw their partners and it went from there.  Jepthe did not have it for Shawnice and probably will cheat if he stays with her.  I wish they could be a family, but I don’t know about him.  I feel bad for her.

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, LakeGal said:

It was funny they kept showing Dr Jessica's face when Bobby & Danielle were talking about their relationship.  She had the most sour look.

I also laughed when Shawniece asked Danielle who Henry was.  Danielle was acting like she loved Henry.  Shawniece was completely confused.

Anthony & Ashley do seem the most normal of the couples.  

I want to be a fly on the wall when Bobby's family watches this show.  They must know by now that Bobby is not happy with Danielle.  Bobby might pretend they are a 10.  But he is doing all the giving.  Danielle isn't even that hot.  She sure won the MAFS windfall.  

Ha.  I think his family isn’t too happy with Danielle, especially with buying the new house thing.  For a minute, it looked like they put the house on hold for now, but in the preview, they are moving before the baby comes.  Danielle won again.  She needs more closet space, haha.  Bobby should of put his foot down on that one.  I think the only thing that pleases her is Henry.

[OnTime]

The couples didn't seem very excited to see each other.

How much longer is this season?

[Racj82]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Of course it's not gender specific, but I myself have personally never heard any woman utter this exact phrase, meanwhile I have heard it word-for-word out of several men's mouths either on TV or from friends or even to ME at one point.  That's just because it's traditionally been a male thing to be more likely to go that far into a committed relationship with a woman they're not in love with.  I am sure there are all kinds of exceptions but I think even today it's still predominantly a male phenomenon.  If women want to have children they usually want to be in love with their baby daddy so that's often a consideration that is different between the sexes.   Men are often not even thinking that far ahead so rest contentedly in a relationship that isn't their "true love' more easily until they decide it's time to move on. They are more likely to think "What's the rush?" meanwhile they keep their options open for something better (i.e., someone that they fall in love with).  Women's biological clocks make that less likely if they want kids or even just a traditional marriage.  Mind you I'm 60 years old and have seen a lot of crap.  

A lot of people try to force relationships to happen for various reasons even if the verbiage is different. It just comes down to trying to say something harsh in the kindest way possible. I'm just not that into you. I dont see you that way etc. All the same.

[gonecrackers]

I think Danielle's voice is getting squeakier & more annoying each episode.

Yeah, Danielle you’re in a house that Bobby owns; they were in a small apt; different situations. She's very spoiled & demanding.

I'm at the point where I feel her lack of compliments has to be contrived, but it comes off quite cruel & he’s stupid to be okay with it.

Induction for no reason for Ashley because she doesn't like surprises - ridiculous. Also ridiculous- Danielle wants to go back to twilight sleep days.

What fathers get 2 weeks off ?  One should’ve been enough, & they both have huge families so someone could’ve been helping.

Cal is an idiot & full of stupid crap; “speaking positivity” is a bunch of BS & won't make anyone become in love.

Saying they have an “incredible marriage” is incredibly stupid.

Ashley's picnic tablecloth top was distracting.

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Of course it's not gender specific, but I myself have personally never heard any woman utter this exact phrase,

I definitely have & totally understand it.

Edited December 12, 2018 by gonecrackers

[JAndy]

5 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I think Danielle's voice is getting squeakier & more annoying each episode.

Yeah, Danielle you’re in a house that Bobby owns; they were in a small apt; different situations. She's very spoiled & demanding.

I'm at the point where I feel her lack of compliments has to be contrived, but it comes off quite cruel & he’s stupid to be okay with it.

Induction for no reason for Ashley because she doesn't like surprises - ridiculous. Also ridiculous- Danielle wants to go back to twilight sleep days.

What fathers get 2 weeks off ?  One should’ve been enough, & they both have huge families so someone could’ve been helping.

Cal is an idiot & full of stupid crap; “speaking positivity” is a bunch of BS & won't make anyone become in love.

Saying they have an “incredible marriage” is incredibly stupid.

Ashley's picnic tablecloth top was distracting.

I definitely have & totally understand it.

 

A lot of teachers get 2 weeks paternity leave. My brother is one and he did. I’m a teacher as well and fathers took off 2 weeks leave, paid. 

Edited December 13, 2018 by JAndy

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, JAndy said:

A lot of teachers get 2 weeks paternity leave. My brother is one and he did. I’m a teachers as well and fathers took off 2 weeks leave, paid. 

I had figured it wasn't available, but if it was available to him & he didn't take it, then I can better understand the regrets he's expressing. It also makes him that much douchier.

Edited December 13, 2018 by gonecrackers

[crazychicken]

I thought he said he delayed some of his leave so that when Shawneice went back to work Laura would not need to be put in daycare straight away. It was quite a while too I think he said it was 4 weeks that he would have off later. He did offer to take extra time off during the dog walking arguement and Shawneice said no.

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

You are right, but if you remember, on their wedding day he stated she was not the type he wanted in a woman, and he looked disappointed.  That’s why I believe this show is ridiculous.  I feel you really have to be in love with someone to marry them as marriage is hard enough.  The other couples that made it must have had some spark when they first saw their partners and it went from there.  Jepthe did not have it for Shawnice and probably will cheat if he stays with her.  I wish they could be a family, but I don’t know about him.  I feel bad for her.

I feel bad for her too, but I sure hope she didn't try to trap him by "accidentally" getting pregnant, knowing that if she didn't, he'd bail.  Having a baby to prevent getting dumped is never going to make someone fall in love with you.

7 hours ago, OnTime said:

How much longer is this season?

I think next week is the season finale, so we probably won't get to see the other babies until next season.

[LilaFowler]

Next week is the finale, I think.

[shannew]

I wish I had the power to give Bobby a do over. 

[gonecrackers]

In the finale preview they're showing 'he who does absolutely everything for Danielle & dogs'- Bobby - doing nothing but drinking a beer while his pregnant wife packs & moves things out for an open house.  So the show is now going from one extreme to the other. If so, the whole thing is an absolute load of crap.

What I wish was a load of crap is the scene of Shawniece falling apart & begging Jephte to be there for her; it was pathetic. She mentioned in a TH having never had a father in her life; this has probably contributed to her being needy for a man- any man. Whether it be Jephte or someone else, she'll probably put up with a ton of crap in her life just to have a man around, which is a terrible example for Laura. I feel badly for her situation but hope she wakes up & gets some help.

[Lusterleaf]

Did anyone else think that Pastor Cal was giving Jephte some horrible advice? He was telling Jephte that because he isn't thinking a certain way then things won't manifest the way it should. If you do not love someone,  you cannot force it. From the get go Jephte just wasn't into Shawniece. He may be a good dad, but it's not fair to Shawniece to continue to stay with her if he really does not love her.  They can still co-parent but Shawniece deserves someone who is going to love her/respect her.

[Yeah No]

10 minutes ago, Lusterleaf said:

Did anyone else think that Pastor Cal was giving Jephte some horrible advice? He was telling Jephte that because he isn't thinking a certain way then things won't manifest the way it should. If you do not love someone,  you cannot force it. From the get go Jephte just wasn't into Shawniece. He may be a good dad, but it's not fair to Shawniece to continue to stay with her if he really does not love her.  They can still co-parent but Shawniece deserves someone who is going to love her/respect her.

I agree with you.  There were possibly other people on this show that might have benefited from that advice, but Jephte is definitely not one of them.  I don't see how this situation is going to work out without a lot of heartache for Shawniece.  

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

What I wish was a load of crap is the scene of Shawniece falling apart & begging Jephte to be there for her; it was pathetic. She mentioned in a TH having never had a father in her life; this has probably contributed to her being needy for a man- any man. Whether it be Jephte or someone else, she'll probably put up with a ton of crap in her life just to have a man around, which is a terrible example for Laura. I feel badly for her situation but hope she wakes up & gets some help.

Yes and this is why Shawniece will end up with a lot of heartache.  I still wonder how much she engineered the pregnancy because it was the only way she could imagine keeping a man around, not being confident enough that she could manage that on her own, and Jephte obviously not having those feelings for her on his own.  Like she thinks the only way she can get a man to commit to her is by forcing him into it, which leaves her not getting what she deserves even if he stays out of obligation, and definitely not getting it if he leaves, plus she has the child to take care of on her own.  I think this is a sad example of how people repeat the bad patterns of their families when they don't know any other way and don't have the confidence to know how to break with them.

[Gem 10]

17 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I think Danielle's voice is getting squeakier & more annoying each episode.

Yeah, Danielle you’re in a house that Bobby owns; they were in a small apt; different situations. She's very spoiled & demanding.

I'm at the point where I feel her lack of compliments has to be contrived, but it comes off quite cruel & he’s stupid to be okay with it.

Induction for no reason for Ashley because she doesn't like surprises - ridiculous. Also ridiculous- Danielle wants to go back to twilight sleep days.

What fathers get 2 weeks off ?  One should’ve been enough, & they both have huge families so someone could’ve been helping.

Cal is an idiot & full of stupid crap; “speaking positivity” is a bunch of BS & won't make anyone become in love.

Saying they have an “incredible marriage” is incredibly stupid.

Ashley's picnic tablecloth top was distracting.

I definitely have & totally understand it.

Haha, you said it all.  These “experts” really annoy me .. pushing them together to make themselves look good.  Blondie Dr. whoever, divorced with 3 kids now going out with Molly’s Ex husband from a few seasons ago, Jon Franetic.  Is that ethical?   Whittle sweet Danielle with the whittle baby voice that gets lower by the week is bulldozing poor Bobby into getting everything her whittle heart desires.  Makes ME want to throw up .. never mind her.

[Gem 10]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I feel bad for her too, but I sure hope she didn't try to trap him by "accidentally" getting pregnant, knowing that if she didn't, he'd bail.  Having a baby to prevent getting dumped is never going to make someone fall in love with you.

I think next week is the season finale, so we probably won't get to see the other babies until next season.

Yeah, the “accidental” pregnancies.  What bullshit.  You’re marrying a stranger and don’t know if it will work out and you don’t use protection?  Unbelievable.  Danielle too.  I think Danielle saw a sucker in Bobby.  She had thousands in debt, he had a house already, was accommodating to her, said yes to all the dogs ... she hit the jackpot!  Who wouldn’t want a guy like that?  Now that she has everything in play, she can’t even give him a little affection.  I don’t like her.

Edited December 13, 2018 by Gem 10

[ezzy4]

19 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I'm at the point where I feel her lack of compliments has to be contrived, but it comes off quite cruel & he’s stupid to be okay with it.

I agree.  Danielle is purposely emotionally withholding.  That is some of the worst kind of abuse to deal with...it's all so paasive agressive...you can tell something is off...but can never quite put your finger on it.

Bobby you are being used and abused.

Danielle always has this "tell", just this sick sort of gleam in her eyes as she acknowledges she's withholding her affection.  Ie: as she's saying she can onnnnllllyyyyyyy showwwwww affection towards Henryyyyyyy...it's like she draws it out for more hurtful impact.

The worst was when Bobby made the cute dinner menu with sweet prices (ie: silly apps for kisses, etc.) and Danielle purposely blew through the first course just to let him know she wasn't impressed or willing to acknowledge his efforts.  Then when asked what her favorite moment of pregnancy was, she leaned forward, creepy as can be, and said something like "when i found out we were having a girl".  Ouch.

Now Danielle had been saying all along  she didn't care if it was a boy or girl and Bobby had been hoping for a boy.

Her message was clear (as any passive agressive message can be) her happiest moment was "when I found out you weren't getting what you hoped for"

That b*tch is cold, cold, cold.

Plus she looks really weird with that stupid forehead she insists on emphasizing with a severe weird bun. 

She's the worst.

[Ilovepie]

Danielle looking worse and worse with each episode. She is already living in a perfectly nice house meanwhile Ashley and Anthony were in a tiny apartment for TWO years saving money to buy a house. I can't believe she had the gall to say she was jealous. What an absolute cow. I am glad Pastor Cal called Bobby out on making excuses for Danielle when she has acknowledged she needs to do better. Truth!

Speaking of Pastor Cal re: his advice to Jephte, I feel his advice is good for married couples who are ALREADY IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. These two never have been; they became stuck together for the time being because of a surprise pregnancy. His advice is good if it's a long term relationship where people have been/are in love and are maybe struggling through a rough patch. That is why it works for him and his wife. That never existed for Jephte in the first place.....

I know a lot of people have issues with Ashley, but I like those two. They come off as a normal married couple. I am so glad Anthony was able to sync up his constitutional to their final home purchase. He obviously made it work!

[ezzy4]

Shawniece & Jephte are the perfect example if the concept "he's just not that into you". It's sad, but it's really no one's fault.  Shawniece is adorbs...to everyine but Jephte unfortunately.

Those "experts" should be advising them on developing a healthy co-parenting plan.  They shouldn't be pushing an unsustainable agenda that will only irritate Jephte and cause great pain to Shawneice.

If they cared about that sweet baby at all, they would help her parents to get to a healthy, SEPARATE place of kindness and cooperation.

Nothing can make Jephte a husband he doesn't want to be. 

[OnTime]

11 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Next week is the finale, I think.

Did they accomplish anything?

[Ilovepie]

22 minutes ago, OnTime said:

Did they accomplish anything?

If making Danielle seem even more unlikable and Bobby even more pathetic is accomplishing something, then yes.

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, ezzy4 said:

I agree.  Danielle is purposely emotionally withholding.  That is some of the worst kind of abuse to deal with...it's all so paasive agressive...you can tell something is off...but can never quite put your finger on it.

Bobby you are being used and abused.

Which is why I am speculating it's 'contrived' in that, it's production at play here... she may have initially had some issues with expressing love & care verbally, but they probably took that & blew it up big for drama. They may not have had anything else to do with them.

Even if that's the case I don't feel bad about them being criticized.  They took these roles on willingly, even with it getting worse to do this show, & add on a lack of sex for an extra punch to Bobby. If that's the way both of them want to be portrayed to collect some checks, then it's their problem.

[LilaFowler]

Consider the way the editors used their skills to preview this week's episode. They had Anthony staring perplexedly at Ashley and saying, 'Are you serious??' When we see that scene play out, it was completely innocuous. I'll reserve judgment until I actually see what transpires next week.

Shawniece crying and begging, though, there is no way to manipulate that.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Speaking of Pastor Cal re: his advice to Jephte, I feel his advice is good for married couples who are ALREADY IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. These two never have been; they became stuck together for the time being because of a surprise pregnancy. His advice is good if it's a long term relationship where people have been/are in love and are maybe struggling through a rough patch. That is why it works for him and his wife. That never existed for Jephte in the first place.....

Exactly!   Thank you for hitting that nail so firmly on its head!  He can't possibly relate to the situation this couple is in and his poor advice is evidence of that.  You can't talk yourself into falling in love with someone if you're just not feeling it on some level.  If anything, that'll make you want to run in the opposite direction!

[Guest]

This episode just further confirmed why Bobby and Shawniece should be together. Danielle and Jephte and two sides of the same shitty, emotionally unavailable coin.

I also don't think it's a coincidence that both Danielle and Jephte display so much uncharacteristic love and affection for their dogs. You aren't really accountable to your pets. They're delighted by the bare minimum of attention and don't hold grudges. There's not really any reciprocity there. For people who are naturally emotionally withholding, dogs are great because they basically reward and validate you for existing, which in turn, feeds your ego. In Jephte's scenario, infants are also incredibly needy, but especially in the newborn phase when they don't really have a personality, it's easy to conceptualize them as an accessory or a literal extension of yourself, again feeding your own narcissism. Notice how quickly he ranked Laura above his own siblings who he served as a father figure to specifically because she's HIS and a part of HIM. He and Danielle are two vapid, walking egos.

I feel like we've watched Bobby go through 15 years of a deteriorating marriage in five minutes. There is already so much festering resentment there. I think he's one of those people who is so desperate to be in love, they will overlook any red flags or unhappiness to romanticize the concept of having a spouse, regardless if the person is actually a good fit for them. The homespun dates, the pregnancy journal, the surprise proposal… It all reads like stuff a hopeless romantic saw in romcoms. He had obviously been dreaming of doing stuff like that for years. Danielle's blank expression in response to every grand gesture just underscores the fact that Bobby is still operating according to an ideal and not the reality, and rightfully so because his reality is apparently massively underwhelming. I empathize with Bobby a lot because our love languages are similar and I've also put tons of effort into people who could care less. With that said, I also recognize when to cut my losses and throw in the towel. He's painful to watch because he continues to eagerly throw himself against the same brick wall and convince himself that his emotional deprivation is par for the course. I couldn't imagine realizing I have now impregnated and committed to raise a child with someone who literally can't stomach any level of intimacy or affection towards me. He keeps thinking his increasingly unjustified infatuation with her is going to win her over, when it's actually just digging himself into a deeper hole.

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

Which is why I am speculating it's 'contrived' in that, it's production at play here... she may have initially had some issues with expressing love & care verbally, but they probably took that & blew it up big for drama. They may not have had anything else to do with them.

Even if that's the case I don't feel bad about them being criticized.  They took these roles on willingly, even with it getting worse to do this show, & add on a lack of sex for an extra punch to Bobby. If that's the way both of them want to be portrayed to collect some checks, then it's their problem.

Oh, so true, so true.  Maybe the money was too good to pass up, especially for Danielle who has a whopping charge bill.  Guess there are people who will humiliate themselves for $$$$.

[LilaFowler]

Didn't Danielle say that in past relationships she was the one who said "I love you" first? I don't think she's emotionally stunted, I just think Bobby doesn't really do it for her. I think they will split when Danielle meets a man who lights her fire and she can't help herself. Poor Bobby is doomed.

Shawniece doesn't do it for Jephte and I believe that he has said as much. Right now he's torn between not wanting to be in a relationship that he doesn't want versus not wanting to have his own place and co-parent. Shawniece is the cooking, cleaning doormat/Bobby in that relationship. They might not split though, as Shawniece has already taken him back after he has done so much to hurt her. She has low self-esteem and it's sad. In five years I see them still married and sharing the same house but basically living separate lives. Jephte has young girlfriends and Shawniece turns a blind eye.

[ezzy4]

42 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

Didn't Danielle say that in past relationships she was the one who said "I love you" first? I don't think she's emotionally stunted, I just think Bobby doesn't really do it for her.

Yep.  But that's EXACTLY how passive aggressive emotional withholding pricks operate...they make it a point to say "it's not me, it's you".

Danielle makes a point out of saying she's over flowing with love for her dog.. her exes...well anyone but Bobby.

And yet, here she is...looking for someone who doesn't know her to marry her.

Noooo...that girl is just too gleeful when called out on being emotionally distant.  She acts like "yes!!  It worked!"

I don't doubt there are real issues there...that there is damage to explain her behavior.  But she's a grown woman with a husband and child.  She's no victim.  She's abusive.

And I don't get that vibe from Jephte...he just doesn't care for Shawneice.  I think she may have come on too strong or something.  He's just not that into her.

Jephte seems to need to be convinced to stuck around.  Danielle not intending in going anywhere.  She loves the power she wields.

Edited December 13, 2018 by ezzy4

[gonecrackers]

I wonder if anyone else noticed this Jephte discrepancy...

Shawniece has been saying she hadn't even kissed Jephte since he cheated - 5 months was mentioned.  At the "anniversary dinner" she gave Jephte a cheek; so basically, still no kiss for you, buddy.

Then when the men were talking sex last episode. Jephte said "at first" (in the pregnancy) everything was fine & Shawniece was into it, doesn't mention not even being kissed for 5 months, then says something about when she was "big" she wasn't into it anymore. 

Did he completely forget he cheated on her & that's why he wasn't getting any Shawluv? Or just too much of a puss to tell the guys he was fucking other women - oh excuse me - "doing his thing" -  'cuz he was soooooo depressed over people hating on him on SM?  Given she's only 3 wks post at this point, I'm guessing it's still recovering time, but is he getting kissed now or isn't he?  This is not mentioned.

And finally, just wondering, how will Mr. Sensitive handle any SM hate this time around...

Edited December 14, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I wonder if anyone else noticed this Jephte discrepancy...

Shawniece has been saying she hadn't even kissed Jephte since he cheated - 5 months was mentioned.  At the "anniversary dinner" she gave Jephte a cheek; so basically, still no kiss for you, buddy.

Then when the men were talking sex last episode. Jephte said "at first" (in the pregnancy) everything was fine & Shawniece was into it, doesn't mention not even being kissed for 5 months, then says something about when she was "big" she wasn't into it anymore. 

Did he completely forget he cheated on her & that's why he wasn't getting any Shawluv? Or just too much of a puss to tell the guys he was fucking other women - oh excuse me - "doing his thing" -  'cuz he was soooooo depressed over people hating on him on SM?  Given she's only 3 wks post at this point, I'm guessing it's still recovering time, but is he getting kissed now or isn't he?  This is not mentioned.

And finally, just wondering, how will Mr. Sensitive handle any SM hater this time around...

Yes, Jephte can add "liar" to his list of outstanding qualifications to be a husband and father.

Shawniece did finally kiss Jephte again, a couple of times (on camera). It was after he said that he would like to stay married to her so their daughter could have the same mother as his other kids.

Edited December 14, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[gonecrackers]

17 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Yes, Jephte can add "liar" to his list of outstanding qualifications to be a husband and father.

Shawniece did finally kiss Jephte again, a couple of times (on camera). It was after he said that he would like to stay married to her so their daughter could have the same mother as his other kids.

Right; forgot about that. He doesn't want Shawniece but he'll use her uterus.

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

I feel like we've watched Bobby go through 15 years of a deteriorating marriage in five minutes. There is already so much festering resentment there. I think he's one of those people who is so desperate to be in love, they will overlook any red flags or unhappiness to romanticize the concept of having a spouse, regardless if the person is actually a good fit for them. The homespun dates, the pregnancy journal, the surprise proposal… It all reads like stuff a hopeless romantic saw in romcoms. He had obviously been dreaming of doing stuff like that for years. Danielle's blank expression in response to every grand gesture just underscores the fact that Bobby is still operating according to an ideal and not the reality, and rightfully so because his reality is apparently massively underwhelming. I empathize with Bobby a lot because our love languages are similar and I've also put tons of effort into people who could care less. With that said, I also recognize when to cut my losses and throw in the towel. He's painful to watch because he continues to eagerly throw himself against the same brick wall and convince himself that his emotional deprivation is par for the course. I couldn't imagine realizing I have now impregnated and committed to raise a child with someone who literally can't stomach any level of intimacy or affection towards me. He keeps thinking his increasingly unjustified infatuation with her is going to win her over, when it's actually just digging himself into a deeper hole.

Wow, best post ever!  The type of hopeless unrequited love Bobby is locked into is positively chivalrous.  The more she doesn't return the affection, the more he composes odes to sing under her window.  It does get painful to watch!  I think she knows on some level that if he ever "caught" her, he would lose interest, so she's actually afraid to show him any reciprocation.  The thing that keeps him pursuing her is that he never actually catches her.  So he can continue in the belief that she is this perfect maiden that he can spoil with grand gestures in the hopes that one day she will really be his.  As long as he's locked into the dream and the pursuit he never has to face the sad reality that she isn't really worth catching anyway!  The problem is that eventually it will be impossible to continue.  His well will eventually run dry.

[Koalagirl]

The body language they all during the discussion with the "experts" was very telling.  Anthony kept physical contact with Ashley pretty much the entire time: his hand was either on her leg or around the back of their chair.  The other two couples barely sat near their spouses.

[sarkygal]

I don't mind Ashley. She's neurotic and a bit selfish, but she's got a good match in Anthony and they seem to tick along well together. I don't think they belong on this show with the other 2 couples as they've had more time to solidify their relationship and plan their future.

 

I want to hug Shawniece and tell her to get away from the immature fuckboy that is Jephte. I really hope she didn't get pregnant to trap him as she's in for years of misery if she stays in the marriage.

 

Danielle is like a lot of smug married women I know. She's got a guy who puts her on a pedestal and caters to her every whim while she makes the minimum effort to appreciate him. Sadly, some men want that. I actually think she's punching above her weight. Bobby's decent looking, financially stable and has a supportive family while she looks like a skinny bald rodent. 

 

A Bobby/Shawniece pairing would have been interesting and good for the 2 parties involved, IMO. But unfortunately they're both shackled to horrible partners who are "settling" for them.