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S01.E02: Competing for the Crown

Rhondinella

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Kromm

Kromm

Can't find an official episode description, but I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that he takes the girls to a cricket match.  Or they play cricket.  Or something.

So until the girls get catty it will be boring?

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Trini

Trini

Copied form TWoP:

I can't believe I watched a second episode of this mess (I fast-forwarded through half of it, though). At least it was a reminder of why I never watch these types of shows. This was stupider than stupid.

And I already knew it was stupid going in, but it's not even funny or entertaining at all. Nobody is fooled, so what is the point of this?? Everyone is a fakey fake faker.

In the right hands, I could even see this premise working as a sitcom, but this crap? NO.

It's not worth watching to snark on, because I could feel brain cells dying. Stay away!

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Toaster Strudel

Toaster Strudel

This show is almost as bad a Millionaire Matchmaker, so of course I'm taping.  I'm very excited at the potential that it might get even worse!

 

My favorite is Maggie.  She's hideous (she has a bit of a Camilla horse-face), her make up is hideous, all she wants is to get drunk straight out of bed in the morning.  She's such an out of control drunk that even the prospect of catching a prince's fancy isn't enough to slow her down.  But then, maybe getting sloshed is the best way to deal with a fake prince and she's on to it? Naaah. Then we have, like, the mean girl, "Lahwk at eeeewe, your so druhnk, u can't hold ur liquor-ah, u say stooopid things!" and the other mean girl is, like, "Jawh, did u hear yourself, u just say stooopid things!", and then the secret drunk defends her and goes, "OMG shut! Up! Your so mean, lahwk at yourself, everywan is allowed 2 have fuwhnnnn, get over yourselves, ur the mean girls!"

 

Spelling errors intentional, because that's how they think.  With spelling errors.

 

Rose has a massive lady-boner for the fake prince, she was literally vibrating with excitement.  She might have damaged some pixels on my screen, she wanted to jump the guy and saddle-ride him so bad.  She was screaming "I AM INTO YOU" with the decibel levels of a transcontinental jet.  "Special connection" to her is obviously a romp in the sack.   If the fake prince had told her he had herpes (totally believable, BTW), she would have told him how much she's into herpes, too, herpes gets such a bad rap, people just don't understand, herpes is the best!  She's completely fake.  What is underneath?  I don't care.

 

The one girl that was eliminated was probably eliminated because she was (1) vocally skeptical or (2) not skanky enough.

 

Let's face it, these girls were chosen so that we wouldn't feel sorry for them and root against all of them.

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fishcakes

fishcakes

Okay, WHY was Kimberly wearing a football helmet during the cricket game? She looked like a developmentally delayed kid in an '80s movie.

 

Every single one of these people is boring.  The extent of "Harry's" conversational skills seems to be asking each woman if she likes sports. "Oh, do you? I like sports too." Scintillating. 

 

Rose commented on how white the guy is, but she didn't seem to notice his farmer's tan -- his face, neck, and the parts of his arms not covered by a t-shirt are a little sunburned. That's a pretty clear indicator that this is a guy who works outdoors and not a guy who has a special valet just for his socks and whatnot.

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PityFree

PityFree

(edited)

I detest every single one of the women, but I am starting to get a crush on Not Harry. The editors like him, it seems. He is edited to sound charming and genuine.  How much of that is real remains to be seen, but I'll take it. Plus, he has a very nice build. I've never thought that gingers were my type, but looking back, I realize that I've dated more than my fair share of them. 

 

Also, what's with barging into their bedroom (The Crown Suite)??? It is only by the grace of god that Rose wasn't stark naked. As it was, she was less than a minute from morning breath.

 

Also, Ladies (I have no idea what else to call them), why do you care if your COMPETITION is drunk and sloppy? If I were on the show, I'd be encouraging every vice in the other girls that would give me an advantage. Want to stay up all night? Want to get wasted and wake up with a hangover? Want to try crack? Knock yourself out! I'd be rested and pretty every morning. 

Edited by PityFree
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JenE4

JenE4

These girls are so ridiculous! The only way that you can enjoy this show is if you're watching for The Wrong Reasons (The Bachelor/ette reference)--and I am totally in for The Wrong Reasons! My absolute favorite scene was Rose and NotHarry having the same shellfish platter on the beach that they later served for dinner with Rose bobbing back and forth with a whispery "seductive voice": "Have an oyster. They're an aphrodisiac." NotHarry: "Are you going to have one?" Rose even more bobbley and whispery: "I don't need one." NotHarry with mock indignation: "Madam!" I was laughing for 5 minutes straight.

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CeeBeeGee

CeeBeeGee

Rose commented on how white the guy is, but she didn't seem to notice his farmer's tan -- his face, neck, and the parts of his arms not covered by a t-shirt are a little sunburned. That's a pretty clear indicator that this is a guy who works outdoors and not a guy who has a special valet just for his socks and whatnot.

I'm such a WASP, I call that a tennis tan.

Also, what's with barging into their bedroom (The Crown Suite)??? It is only by the grace of god that Rose wasn't stark naked. As it was, she was less than a minute from morning breath.

God, that was rude! Bloody hell, Not!Harry. You're twitting these girls on their lack of "inside voices" and you just barge right in? You're the Spare, not the Heir--droit du seigneur does not apply here!

Two things I loved: Not!Harry crouching at the door (the wall?), listening to Megan and the girls yelling at each other. And Kimberly's reaction when he asked her to move into the Crown Suite, smacking him and telling him not to do that again. I thought it was cute, as though she were saying "this show is complete crap, please don't play into their hands by amping up the fake drama like that."

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backformore

backformore

(edited)

"Have an oyster. They're an aphrodisiac." NotHarry: "Are you going to have one?" Rose even more bobbley and whispery: "I don't need one."

 

That was GREAT!   Is she really that dense?   Seems to me, a woman saying "have an oyster, they're an aphrodisiac"  is saying "Let's fuck". 

 

She reminds me in some ways of the girl who came in second on the last season of The Bachelor - the girl who "went swimming in the ocean"  with Juan Pablo.    They both like to say something risque, then give that fake-shocked look, like "I can't believe I sad that!"   And both think it's a contest to see who can get the guy to go all the way first. 

 

i can't decide if I hate this show or like it, so for now - I hate myself for liking it. 

Edited by backformore
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FlyingEgret

FlyingEgret

"The one girl that was eliminated was probably eliminated because she was (1) vocally skeptical or (2) not skanky enough."

I believe she was the one who said she was runner-up in all the beauty competitions she entered and in the same breath said she was used to winning; so i think she was booted early on just to make sure she understood what it meant to lose.

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Kromm

Kromm

Wow, Meghan is reality show gold.  To me she seems to be the only one there who "gets" how ludicrous the whole thing is (note that doesn't mean she knows that "Harry" is a fake for sure, just that she seems to understand that they're there mainly to look ridiculous).

 

It was odd to see a bit of actual reality creep into this uber-fakeness.  Drunk Girl's drunken rants were clearly not scripted in any way.  I mean people get drunk on candid reality shows all of the time, but there's often still some craft to the whole situation. Even the "You're the mean girls!" explosion seemed oddly real to me (although Meghans super-entertaining over the top followup likely wasn't--it's hard to tell for sure with Meghan for the very reason I state above, that she's aware how ludicrous this all is and reflects that, at the very least, in her talking heads).  "Harry Is Mine" Girl better be faking though (one hopes if Meghan realizes this is all fake that she might have confided in her roommate), because that would be the line between being a total Goat or just running the thing over the top for kicks.


I find myself wondering, by the way, what amount of input Seacrest actually had here.  Was he just the money man or did he help plan some of this madness directly?

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PityFree

PityFree

(edited)

I find myself wondering, by the way, what amount of input Seacrest actually had here.  Was he just the money man or did he help plan some of this madness directly?

Is he really involved? Ugh. (I didn't pay attention to the credits.) I thought he was too busy whoring out the Kardashians on E!.

 

Rose was ridiculous kissing him/throwing herself at Not Harry so soon. Gross. 

Edited by PityFree
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backformore

backformore

Interesting thought -  they obviously are recording what goes on, including the women talking to each other.  So, if every episode, they weed out the "non-believers", anyone who doubts that this guy IS Harry, they are left with the delusional bunch they need to amp up the drama.   Tears, shrieking, rage - it's all coming up.   And then the producers claim innocence "we never said he was a prince".

 

I think what draws me to the show is the sociological experiment of convincing a group of women to compete with each other for a "Prince charming." 

 

Last season of The Bachelor (actually ALL seasons)  had a bunch of women swooning over a guy who was handsome, but with little personality.   Somehow, a group of women can be convinced that one guy is worth all that attention, just because he's the only guy  there and everyone else is competing for him.  In a real-life situation, if there were a few more guys in the mix, the Bachelor would be ignored by half the women. 

 

I think that's what inspired this show.   Not-Harry is an ordinary  guy whom many of these women would IGNORE at a party or club.  I bet that most of these women would be PISSED of any of their friends arranged a blind date with him.  But, put him in a castle, hint that he might be "important", and (most importantly)  make him a prize in a contest - and watch  how many of these women can convinced that he is their "one true love." 

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atomationage

atomationage

I could only watch 10 minutes of the second episode.  I just can't.  I would just call Not Harry, Matt Hicks.  I think they could make a better show about Matt Hicks dealing with his resemblance to Prince Harry instead of this.  Did they change his hair color for the show, or just cut it to look like Harry?

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CeeBeeGee

CeeBeeGee

Not-Harry is an ordinary guy whom many of these women would IGNORE at a party or club. I bet that most of these women would be PISSED of any of their friends arranged a blind date with him.

Really? I actually think he's pretty attractive. (I love red hair, so there's that.)

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Skittl1321

Skittl1321

 

That's a pretty clear indicator that this is a guy who works outdoors and not a guy who has a special valet just for his socks and whatnot

But the real Harry is in the military. They go around in t-shirts and long pants all the time. So the tan seems appropriate.

 

 

Personally, the fact that the show is still calling him Harry, Prince of Wales and it wasn't a one time slip in the first episode really shows how high quality it is.

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Kromm

Kromm

Is he really involved? Ugh. (I didn't pay attention to the credits.) I thought he was too busy whoring out the Kardashians on E!.

End card "RSP" (Ryan Seacrest Productions).  Plus his name comes up in the opening ones too as "Executive Producer" (which as we all know can mean a number of things about how involved or not someone is).

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wanderwoman

wanderwoman

I'm not completely sure what words I can use to sum up the utter lack of social intelligence these women possess.  I didn't think there were any women in the United States as clueless about royalist and the limits placed upon them, but these ladies are thusly uneducated.  Do they really think that the most eligible bachelor in the world, whose grandmother is Queen, would go on a reality television program to find a future princess?  If they do, I would like to sell them some ocean front property in Kansas.

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hairnetqueen

hairnetqueen

I suspect that thus far none of these girls (except maybe Rose) really believe this guy is prince harry. I've noticed that anytime a girl says the words 'prince harry' in a sound bite, you never see her face as she's saying it. And usually there's the tiniest pause, and the tone of the girl's voice changes a little bit before the words 'prince harry'. I'm pretty sure the producers are frakenbiting the hell out of these voiceovers. All they need is for a girl to say the words 'prince harry' just once, and they can cut and paste it into other sound bites to their hearts' content.

 

I'm actually really liking the girls on this show - they seem a lot more fun and genuine than your typical Bachelor girls. Maggie is hilarious, Kimberly was super sweet with her New Yawk accent and her awe of the crown suite, and even Rose was incredibly gracious when it came time to turn over the room. And when she had the power of deciding who got to play cricket and who had to make sandwiches (clearly a producer ploy to stir up some shit), she put herself on sandwich duty. The only one I don't really like is Megan - she's either a huge bitch, or really really leaning hard into the 'huge bitch' role. But of course, that's part of the fun of watching reality tv - is this what these people are really like? Or are they real people playing roles without really admitting it to themselves?

 

Oh, and fake Harry is dullsville. But that could be because he's really not allowed to say anything at all about himself. The whole mysterious thing is starting to wear a little thin.

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aradia22

aradia22

OK, I've come up with some "brilliant" 90's/early 2000's style ideas for how they could have improved this. A) Face Off style facial prosthetics B) add a detective/mystery element to it (a la The Mole and Whodunnit) C) somehow involve a prize/gameshow element for figuring out he's not Harry or continuing with the deception (also somewhat Mole-ish) D) actually make Matt get plastic surgery to look like Harry (Hey, let's not forget The Swan) E) Pretend he's a prince from some other country (Americans are bad at geography. And very few people know the monarchs of countries that are not England or the country where they live anyway... especially if it's a place where the monarchy doesn't serve a function in government or they are wealthy but their titles mean very little. Doesn't TLC have a show with "real" princes? If they can do it, Fox should be able to make it work.) F) Make him stay masked or otherwise hidden (I remember reading about a show hosted by Monica Lewinsky where participants were masked or wore something to cover their faces.)

 

Assuming they didn't lie about their ages, I am the same age as some of these girls. That is appalling. On the other hand, I feel really good about my skin and lack of wrinkles. 

 

I feel like everyone on reality shows overestimates how fun it is to be in a helicopter. Unless you're flying over somewhere amazing, it's not that fun to just be in a helicopter.

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aradia22

aradia22

 

My favorite is Maggie.  She's hideous (she has a bit of a Camilla horse-face),

I will die if he tells one of the girls "you remind me of my stepmother" as a "clue".

 

I think they're pushing it a bit with the etiquette. Isn't Harry most often in the papers for being a troublemaker himself? I seem to remember a lot of parties and bars and some unfortunate Halloween costumes.

 

"He's not my type. I don't normally go for a ginger with bad teeth." Love it!

 

I was wondering why Rose was still in the crown suite when Kimberly came in. For a second I thought, are they just going to make all the girls who get invited to the crown suite stay in the same room for the duration of the competition? I mean, they came up with this stupid show. I wouldn't put it past them.

 

Aw, why you gotta play Stevie Wonder like that? 

 

The drama was weak.

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BusyOctober

BusyOctober

I gave in and watched. Are these "girls" serious with the ages they have posted?  I've heard the camera adds 10lbs, so maybe HDTV adds 10 years?

 

Has anyone started a pool on how quickly the school teacher loses her job after this?  As a parent, I wouldn't care that she went on a dating show.  The fact that my 7 year old has a higher IQ than this teacher would be the deal breaker.

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Lamb18

Lamb18

 

She reminds me in some ways of the girl who came in second on the last season of The Bachelor - the girl who "went swimming in the ocean"  with Juan Pablo.    They both like to say something risque, then give that fake-shocked look, like "I can't believe I sad that!"   And both think it's a contest to see who can get the guy to go all the way first. 

I know who you mean - Claire.  Rose is like that but isn't as pretty.

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Zahdii

Zahdii

(edited)
Also, what's with barging into their bedroom (The Crown Suite)??? It is only by the grace of god that Rose wasn't stark naked. As it was, she was less than a minute from morning breath.

 

There was a camera crew there, so she was safe from being caught nude by Not-Harry.  Remember, she got out of bed wearing a bra and panties and stood in front of the camera to stretch.

 

 

 

Also, Ladies (I have no idea what else to call them), why do you care if your COMPETITION is drunk and sloppy? If I were on the show, I'd be encouraging every vice in the other girls that would give me an advantage. Want to stay up all night? Want to get wasted and wake up with a hangover? Want to try crack? Knock yourself out! I'd be rested and pretty every morning.

 

The only reasons I can find is if one girl likes another and wants her to look good for the cameras, or if they want to be seen as caring people (epic fail there), or there's some portion of national pride that makes them want to avoid the Ugly American stereotype (another epic fail).

Edited by Zahdii
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WiCkedWitCh

WiCkedWitCh

 It doesn't feel quite like a dating show. With the announcer and music it almost feels more like Masterchef. And the butler and mystery make it feel more like Whodunnit. And then there's the fact that unlike most dating shows, the women don't seem at all interested in the guy. That said, these women all clearly know how to fall into reality TV mode.

 

This was posted from the last episode but I just wanted to bring it up. I hope that doesn't break any forum rules. But anyways, it is interesting because if you watch the UK version of The Bachelor, that is exactly how it felt. They had an announcer like this show and everything. So maybe they are following that example more. 

 

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