S05.E06: Week 4: Part 1

[OnceSane]

Quote

One woman bounces between two men, risking heartbreak; a woman finally agrees to go on a date with the man she was initially waiting for; a bachelor leaves a distraught woman behind.

Airs August 27, 2018.

[Armchair Critic]

Watching this while multi-tasking, unfortunately they sent the munchkins back to school a week earlier this year.

Conner....Isn't he the idiot who threw his glass into the pool on Becca's season?

[tennisgurl]

Conner through a picture of Becca and some other guy in the pool during this season. 

How are there so many fully frown men who chuck other peoples stuff into water out of petty jealousy in this franchise?!?!

[Armchair Critic]

Benoit to me is not attractive, Jordan may act like an idiot but I would rather kiss on him than the pale French(Canadian)man.

[tennisgurl]

THE FRISBEE OF BETRAYAL! 

[ECM1231]

Even if Benoit is slight of frame, how the heck was Jenna able to lift him and carry him for a bit on their date?

[CindyBee]

Pass the brain bleach with this Chris/Krystal lovey dovey moment

[Armchair Critic]

"The goose is cooked" ... I don't think that means what he thinks it means. Blech the new guy coming out for Krystal doesn't seem much better.

Edited August 28, 2018 by Armchair Critic

[ECM1231]

Chris H made a funny...don't throw the date card into the pool. Connor, put your glasses on before you ask the ladies out.

[CindyBee]

Connor might be a total douche but he does have an amazing six pack--wish he had been on the beach from night one 

[saber5055]

Yeah, Connor was the Super Tool who got so mad at Lincoln having a photo of Becca and Lincoln together that he chucked it in the pool. You know, like all adult humans react. Well, Connor and Jordan, apparently.

Jenna gets the Black Butt Bar of Shame yet we can clearly see her breast implants.

Jordan The Child has lost the glow that Jordan The Witty used to have. He's worn out his welcome with me.

Krystal + How-To-Give-Women-Orgasms Chris = Just Nasty EW.

[tennisgurl]

Does someone in the network have a terrible fear of butts? Did a butt kill their family?

[CindyBee]

You can see the wheels in Krystal's heads going "more air time if I go on this date with Connor".  

[saber5055]

Heck, I'd go on every date I could just to get out of "Paradise."

Well, that plus get more air time! (TM CindyBee)

Ha ha ha. Now Krystal got the Black Butt Bar of Shame.

[tennisgurl]

They've seen how much being a somewhat normal, stable couple has gotten Kevin and Astrid (not much air time) so now they know what gets the camera on them. Drama!

[adhoc]

Maybe the black bar is a running gag, and butts are not as exposed as we think they are.

I personally think that Krystal is the most attractive of the women there. 

Wow, almost half an hour has gone by and, by and large, I've been very entertained. Must be the fact that Tia and Colton only got about 10 seconds of air time during this segment.

Edited August 28, 2018 by adhoc
changed "the Krystal" to "that Krystal"

[dizzyd]

Connor and his big hair remind me of Manolo from the Book of Life.

[tennisgurl]

The dates on this franchise have no middle ground between "go to a typical dinner" and "dressing up like cows and doing the hokie poky". 

[saber5055]

My takeaway from Jordan's talk to Jenna: Jenna has a botox-dead upper lip and a lazy left eye.

Benoit: I don't want to talk to Jordan.

Me: Then DON'T. Geesh. Just Say No.

[CindyBee]

I can't believe these guys are fighting over Jenna.   what about Angela and Jubilee? Or even Chelsea?

[tennisgurl]

Jordan gets so hung up on one thing about guys he hates. Baguettes, chickens. 

[Stan39]

poor Jenna. She can’t see what a narcissist Jordan is. He doesn’t care about her, he just wants her because of how she makes HIM feel. He’s never shown any interest in who she is or what she wants. It’s just all about him. At least Benoit asked her how she was doing and empathised with what she was going through. 

[adhoc]

The more I look at Jenna, the more I'm convinced she had some sort of brow lift. I mean, does botox really lift your eyebrows like that?

And frankly, seeing Jenna with Jordan in their conversation just a few minutes ago, she looked way older than Jordan. Like 10 years older. At least.

[Stan39]

3 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

I can't believe these guys are fighting over Jenna.   what about Angela and Jubilee? Or even Chelsea?

It may not be their choice. Angela is probably happy with Eric. Jubilee should still be with John. Chelsea seems asexual, except when it comes to greasy sleazebags apparently. 

[Mu Shu]

This Ben wa guy trying to be hip like Ivan Dochenko and failing.

[CindyBee]

Good for Kenny to realize his free vacation is over

[Armchair Critic]

Dance recital? At least Kenny seems to care about his daughter but does he really need to leave Paradise?

[tennisgurl]

Cant he just go to the recital and come back? I guess they wont pay for his ticket twice. Or they just like watching Annalise cry.

[leighdear]

So my cynical brain is saying that if Kenny had hooked up with somebody more attractive, confident and self possessed than Analiese, he would have conveniently been able to miss that recital.  He knew it was happening, but it was a nice excuse to bolt if he wanted one. 

[alexa]

What does anyone see in Chris?  He seems icky. 

[saber5055]

3 minutes ago, alexa said:

What does anyone see in Chris?

A way to stay on BIP and get more air time.

Since Kenny is so perfect for Analise, they are dating now IRL, right? What do you mean, they're not? Whaaaa?

[tennisgurl]

Everything about Chris screams "guy who you avoid eye contact with at the bar, and pretend you cant hear him trying to talk to you over the music".

[dizzyd]

Ben Wa balls, that's what Benoit has that Jordan doesn't.

[adhoc]

I don't think Connor's all that, but I can see why Coach Krystal and fitness coach Connor would be attracted to each other--they both enjoy being with other very fit people. Whereas Chris, while not exactly scrawny, is not anywhere in that league.

Speaking of leagues, Chris is not in Krystal's league, IMHO. I can't help thinking he was probably amazed at his good fortune to land her for whatever time they were together there.

[tennisgurl]

Noooo! Dont go Jubilee!!! 

[CindyBee]

Wait 10 second of Venmo John breaking up with Jubilee but we got HOURS of the stupid Colton and Tia storyline?!?

[saber5055]

Say WHAT? Did Venmo John just give Jubilee the Friend Zone talk? Gah, this show. Just when I like someone TPTB ruin it for me.

So another tool gets added to the Massive Tool Belt, the 60-40 guy. NO THANKS.

[Mu Shu]

13 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Dance recital? At least Kenny seems to care about his daughter but does he really need to leave Paradise?

Lol.  I went on a blind date with a guy who wanted out so badly he faked a call about having to go unload a helicopter.  He was an accountant.  I’m sure Kenny knew before about the recital.  He’s just not into it, and is the sweatiest guy there. 

Crystal just keeps getting more attractive.  Natural beauty doesn’t melt in the heat and humidity.

[tennisgurl]

"So glad that 60-40 guy is here! I definitely want a winner like that to find love!"-Said no one, ever. 

[Stan39]

I don’t even like Chelsea, but no way anybody chooses Annieliese over her. Even on first impression she comes off super desperate. And she’s not cute. 

[CindyBee]

So who clued in Kamil that Analeise is the most desperate there!?!

[Mabinogia]

10 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Since Kenny is so perfect for Analise, they are dating now IRL, right? What do you mean, they're not? Whaaaa?

Wait, these people exist outside of the Franchise!??!?! How did I not know this? I thought they just kept them in a warehouse until they need them for the next season. 

 

2 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Crystal just keeps getting more attractive.  Natural beauty doesn’t melt in the heat and humidity.

Krystal looks better when she is less made up, so this setting is working for her. 

Just now, CindyBee said:

So who clued in Kamil that Analeise is the most desperate there!?!

I'm pretty sure she actually reeks of it, so his nose?

[tennisgurl]

Annalise is so thirsty, I want to reach through the screen and give her some water every time I see her. 

[CindyBee]

Kevin just tell her: I want to be able to talk to other girls

[DeeciePlum]

Do you think Chelsea telling Kevin how unhappy she was had something to do with Kevin' talk with Astrid that they should be competition for each of them?

4 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

Kevin just tell her: I want to be able to talk to other girls

[Mu Shu]

Kevin looks like this guy I know named Stinky.

[saber5055]

Kevin's in therapy? Well, good for him.  But I guess hooking up with Ashley I will do that to a guy. I think I kinda like Kevin now. Not crazy about his choice in women though.

1 minute ago, Mu Shu said:

Kevin looks like this guy I know named Stinky.

I went to school with a guy named Smelly.

[tennisgurl]

Kevin and Astrid probably planned all of this while the cameras were focusing on Coltan and Tia frolicking around and exchanging class rings to get some extra air time, without having to actually break up. 

[adhoc]

I don't know why it is, but Kevin kind of reminds me of The Reverend Jim on the old TV show Taxi. Sure, he's younger and brawnier, and doesn't really exactly look like Christopher Lloyd, but still. I think it's the contorted facial expression he sometimes does.

[RedheadZombie]

I missed the first hour because DirecTv  sucks.

What is this new pose of speaking to guys whilst laying propped on tummy?  Is it anything beyond making sure the T&A are displayed simultaneously?