Steel Magnolias (1989)

[andromeda331]

5 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

It wouldn't have been that hard, Jackson kind of sucked. haha

LOL! So true. 

[BookWoman56]

19 hours ago, Bastet said:

Her "I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special" line is horrifyingly sad to me - which was not the intent - that she thought a life filled with loving family, supportive friends, and a job she loved was "nothing special" if it didn't also include a baby.

That was one of a few scenes that made me want to throw things at her. Because, yes, what she's essentially saying is that her marriage, family, friends, and career were just not good enough for her. However, Shelby got on my nerves pretty early in the movie, during the wedding prep scenes, when she went on and on about the specific shade of pink (maybe "blush") that she had to have. I thought right then that she was in love with the idea of a wedding much more than the reality of a marriage. When I was getting married the first time, the minister who performed the service required a meeting prior to agreeing to do the ceremony. I will never forget when he commented that based on his experience, the more "romantic" the wedding was, the higher the chances for it ending in divorce. My guess is there's a correlation between wanting some romanticized version of a wedding and having unrealistic expectations about what the marriage itself will entail. Shelby wanted the super romantic wedding; she wanted the fairy tale ending with a husband and baby, and just ignored the reality of her situation. 

M'Lynn's reaction to the news of Shelby's pregnancy may have been based on real life, or it may have been Sally Fields' choice, or some combination of those. My guess is that the real-life M'Lynn was horrified at the news; she would have already experienced dealing with Shelby's condition and the possibility of major complications for many years before this event. I can't see her being happy about a pregnancy that would most likely result in her daughter's death, either during the pregnancy or soon afterward. 

[slf]

On 3/22/2019 at 10:27 PM, Bastet said:

She's highly quotable!  Just alter some specifics if need be, and have at it in your own life.

"You are too twisted for color TV."

"You are a pig from hell."

"He is a boil on the butt of humanity."

"The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God."

"I'm not as sweet as I used to be."

"You are evil, and you must be destroyed."

"I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

"Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy, I no longer have one."

"I am pleasant, dammit!  I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly and I smiled at the son of a bitch before I could help myself."  (The way she says "smiled" makes it art.)

"Yeah, well, the older you get, the uglier you get."

"Get your roots done."

"I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free.  And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they've got nothing but naked people in them.  And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good they're gonna make them into a miniseries."  (I don't even agree with this one, but I love it.)

"What a gentleman - I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it."

And, even though I do not have a southern accent, I am prone to saying an exact imitation of "I'm intrigued" when someone says something odd.

I was also giddy to once deal with a cranky guest at a Christmas party by asking, "Do you have a reindeer up your butt?"

I love all of these but man do I relate to "I'm not as sweet as I used to be" and "Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy, I no longer have one", lol.

I first saw this movie when I was 11 or so and thought she was just cranky but now I find her hilarious.

23 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. It has great performances and often great dialogue, and I appreciate seeing the support the women give each other. But I can't get past the fact that no matter how much Harling loved his sister, she was an idiot or horribly selfish, or both, to go through such a high-risk pregnancy that damaged her already fragile health. So in her desire to give her husband a child, she set in motion the chain of events that resulted in her death, causing her family huge amounts of grief and anguish. Not to mention, there's the burden on the son, who undoubtedly has seen this movie or at least heard enough about it to feel that his very existence is a major contributing factor to his mother's death. (I doubt his father, despite coming across as a complete ass, would have given the son detailed information regarding his mother's death, other than just a generic explanation that she died from complications of a diabetic coma, or whatever.) But IMO it's a horrible thing to do, to indulge yourself in a pregnancy that you've been warned should not have happened, and leave your child to grow up with that kind of guilt. This wasn't a situation where the mother had no reason to expect anything other than a normal outcome but unexpectedly died in childbirth, which in and of itself often results in kids who feel guilty about their birth having killed their mother. Shelby knew the risks and should have thought, again strictly IMO, not about what would make her husband happy but about what the potential consequences were not just for her but for the child. For that reason, Shelby is probably my least favorite character in the movie. 

It was very unwise but I do have a lot of sympathy for her. My own mother was about the same age and also living in the south when this film was made. And the culture at the time was, and remains to this day, very natalist. So even tho her parents were discouraging her I don't doubt Shelby internalized quite a bit about how women who don't have babies are failures. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but I always got the sense that not having kids of their own was something Jackson wasn't quite as okay with as he claimed to Shelby and that, along with him being a womanizer, was what Shelby meant by "I think it would help things." The character does drive me nuts (tho nowhere near as badly as Annelle does) but still, I feel bad for her.

Edited March 24, 2019 by slf

[Browncoat]

9 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

when she went on and on about the specific shade of pink (maybe "blush") that she had to have.

Blush and bashful were the two shades of pink.

[Shannon L.]

1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

Blush and bashful were the two shades of pink.

Right.  "Two distinctive shades of pink.  One is much deeper than the other".  But, it's M'Lynn's response that love:  "Please.  The sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down in Pepto Bismol".  M'Lynn was always practical.  Shelby was the dreamer--something she must have gotten from her father.

[UYI]

I have a question for y'all:

Do any of you treat this as an Easter movie? That's the way my mom and I have always seen it, because even though we see many other holidays observed throughout the movie, it begins and ends at Easter. As a result, that's always the time of year we watch it during--so it won't be all that much longer before we watch it again. 🙂

Also: let me know if any of you go to see the movie in the theater again for the 30th anniversary! The closer theater to me showing it is still too far, unfortunately, but it sounds like so much fun! I'm curious about the bonus features TCM will include. 

[BookWoman56]

14 hours ago, slf said:

My own mother was about the same age and also living in the south when this film was made. And the culture at the time was, and remains to this day, very natalist. So even tho her parents were discouraging her I don't doubt Shelby internalized quite a bit about how women who don't have babies are failures.

I grew up in the south as well, in south MS. While I agree that the culture is very natalist, my own experience was that women who were unable to have children for medical reasons (infertility or major health issues) generally got a pass from the community. It was women who were presumably able to have children but chose not to who were regarded more as failures, which obviously is a very stupid attitude. FWIW, though, that attitude is changing; I have former classmates who deliberately chose to remain childless and they got minimal pushback. I'm old enough that for myself and any classmates, getting pregnant is no longer physically possible, but among younger generations, being childfree by choice is gaining much more acceptance than previously. 

Admittedly, Shelby grew up in a much smaller town than I did, and some of those rural prejudices were probably more in play. But when you've been told that a pregnancy will likely result in your very early death, you should be able to tell anybody who thinks you're a failure for not having a baby to go fuck themselves. 

[UYI]

What I never understood was Shelby's stance on adoption: "No judge will me a baby with my medical record." How does she know this? DOES she know this? Or did she just assume that to be the case as an excuse to get pregnant, without really looking into it? I've always wondered that. Certainly (as mentioned earlier here in this thread), there ARE situations where even adoption is probably not a good idea due to very specific medical reasons, but even with Shelby's diabetes, it seemed like the biggest thing she had to do was avoid getting pregnant. Okay, it's not THAT simple, obviously there would be times her disease would send her to the hospital, but I got the idea that she was otherwise healthy enough where adopting a baby would have been perfectly in reach...she just chose, on her own, to close that window, even if she didn't necessarily have all her facts straight. 

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, UYI said:

What I never understood was Shelby's stance on adoption: "No judge will me a baby with my medical record." How does she know this? DOES she know this? Or did she just assume that to be the case as an excuse to get pregnant, without really looking into it? I've always wondered that. Certainly (as mentioned earlier here in this thread), there ARE situations where even adoption is probably not a good idea due to very specific medical reasons, but even with Shelby's diabetes, it seemed like the biggest thing she had to do was avoid getting pregnant. Okay, it's not THAT simple, obviously there would be times her disease would send her to the hospital, but I got the idea that she was otherwise healthy enough where adopting a baby would have been perfectly in reach...she just chose, on her own, to close that window, even if she didn't necessarily have all her facts straight. 

I always wondered about that too. If she was correct or not. I don't know much about adoption then. But didn't think Shelby's diabetes would disqualify her. How often did she have problems? We only saw that one in the salon. I always thought Jackson was loaded and money always triumphs anything. 

[Mabinogia]

1 hour ago, andromeda331 said:

I always wondered about that too. If she was correct or not. I don't know much about adoption then. But didn't think Shelby's diabetes would disqualify her. How often did she have problems? We only saw that one in the salon. I always thought Jackson was loaded and money always triumphs anything. 

If they couldn't have officially adopted, as you said, Jackson was rich enough that they could have set up a buy a baby plan with some teen mom. Pay her medical bills and give her some cash and the baby is yours. 

I have a hard time believing, unless the doctor had given her only a few more years to live regardless of pregnancy, that would would have been impossible for her to adopt, or at least foster. 

I think she just had her heart set on having her own baby and Shelby was very used to getting whatever she wanted. (that "blush and bashful" BS showed her very early on to be something of a spoiled brat).

[andromeda331]

41 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

If they couldn't have officially adopted, as you said, Jackson was rich enough that they could have set up a buy a baby plan with some teen mom. Pay her medical bills and give her some cash and the baby is yours. 

I have a hard time believing, unless the doctor had given her only a few more years to live regardless of pregnancy, that would would have been impossible for her to adopt, or at least foster. 

I think she just had her heart set on having her own baby and Shelby was very used to getting whatever she wanted. (that "blush and bashful" BS showed her very early on to be something of a spoiled brat).

So do I. Her diabetes was a problem but not something that kept her from living her life to any extent. Just from having a baby. They easily could have adopted. 

I think your right. She was used to getting whatever she wanted. She wanted her own baby and she was going to have it. She didn't give a damn about the consequences or anyone else.

[Bastet]

I don't know if real-life Shelby was a true "brittle diabetic" (where glucose levels are hard to control and prone to frequent and drastic swings), but I know her disease was harder to manage than that of the average diabetic.  It's why when movie Shelby tells M'Lynn that diabetics have babies all the time, M'Lynn tells her she's special and there are limits.  It's true that every doctor she had told her not to get pregnant (and, in real life, having the baby ruined more than her kidneys; her metabolic and circulatory systems were a mess, and she spent a lot of time in hospital.  She was on dialysis after the transplant, went in for minor surgery to put in some shunts to make dialysis easier, and her body couldn't handle any more - she never woke up.)

But I don't know if her pre-pregnancy health was precarious enough she'd have had a hard time qualifying for adoption.  (As has been said, it doesn't matter, because they had the money to arrange a private adoption.  I think her "I want a baby of my own" sentiment was a lot more true than "If I could adopt one, I would," and real-life Jackson was a jerk, so probably pushing for a biological child.  There's no reference - in the play, the film, or in interviews I've read of Harling - to them applying and being rejected.)

And, yes, real-life M'Lynn fought hard against her having a baby, and was upset with her for doing it.

[jmcd44]

On 3/24/2019 at 7:08 PM, andromeda331 said:

So do I. Her diabetes was a problem but not something that kept her from living her life to any extent. Just from having a baby. They easily could have adopted. 

I disagree. I have type 1 diabetes (25 years this year) & have always had pretty tight control & started wearing a pump a few years ago which really helps. You would be surprised at how much it keeps you from doing things day to day-I can’t paddle board, be in natural water without a cover for my port, be “intimate”, etc for longer than an hour, I can’t be in the heat too long without having to put my pump in a case & try to attach it to my body. I just had to call the courthouse about jury duty & if I could eat on a normal schedule & check my blood sugar, you just can’t be spontaneous. As someone with good control, I still get low blood sugars frequently. I never wanted kids but I did want to be in the foreign service & that was impossible, forget my original plan of the military. I can see after all those years of being told no, Shelby thought she could be “normal” & stubborn & get what she wanted. Shelby was indeed a jerk & extremely dumb for choosing to do this (she also jeopardized the baby’s health). I’m sure private adoption would be an option for a rich attractive couple but I also have friends having terrible times trying to adopt. 

TL;DR Shelby was a jerk but I understand her. And Ouizer is the Queen. 

[UYI]

RIP, Olympia Dukakis! KNOCK HER LIGHTS OUT, M'LYNN!

 

[Bastet]

I've loved Olympia Dukakis in everything I've ever seen her in - even when she was just about the only thing I liked - and admired her steadfast support of worthy causes, but by far this film is what I most associate her with.

I don't give a shit about my luggage, but I will still say "You know I love you more 'n I love my luggage" as an endearment just because of her delivery.

And "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me" pre-dated Clairee, but damn if Dukakis didn't wipe that all away.

[Hiyo]

[DollEyes]

More classic Claree quotes:

When Anelle asked Claree what breed Ouiser's dog was, Claree said, "If it had hair, it'd be a St. Bernard." 

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."

Claree, about the Mayor's wife's accident: "She got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous."

Truvy: "Was she hurt?"

Claree: "I doubt it. She got hit in the head."

Claree, quoting the Marmoullian son's gaydar: "He said, 'All gay men have track lighting, and all gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve.'"

RIP, Ms. Dukakis.

 

 

[Bastet]

I love that when Clairee is telling everyone about Anne Boleyn ("Who's Anne Berlin?") having six fingers ("What happened to the other four?"), she's sitting on the toilet with the door open.  It's a great little bit of staging that shows us how close they all are, and how Truvy's salon is their women-only clubhouse.  The play was set entirely at Truvy's.

(So that, not the funeral, is where M'Lynn's outburst occurred in the play; it's the day after Shelby died, and she stops by, explaining what happened [in the play, as in real life, Shelby had been back on dialysis for months because her body rejected the kidney, and had been in the hospital for about a week before slipping into the coma and being taken off life support].  The play ends with the conversation after that, Annelle saying she's going to name the baby Shelby and M'Lynn concluding life goes on; M'Lynn leaves the beauty salon, and that's the end.)

[Hiyo]

I always liked these two quotes:

“Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today, you run over a small child or something?”

“Ouiser could never stay mad at me, she worships the quicksand I walk on.”

Edited May 3, 2021 by Hiyo

[Shannon L.]

Do you know how often I think "Such a striking color. Would you call that grape or aubergine?" and even though it's not her quote "It is hard to keep whites clean."

Edited May 6, 2021 by Shannon L.

[UYI]

8 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Do you know how often I think "Such a striking color. Would you call that grape or aubergine?" 

"SHUT UP!"

"...What?"

"You're making a FOOL of yourself, Clairee!"

"I AM NOT!"

"This is FOOTBALL! All the people want to hear about are touchdowns and injuries! They don't give a damn about that grape SHIT!" 

XD

 

[BlackberryJam]

JamDad was a beer drinking, football loving, ex military guy who built his own garage. This was his favorite film. At first, I'd catch him watching it and he'd shrug and say there was nothing else on. Then he started quoting it, especially Claree and Ouiser. Then he just admitted it. He loved John Wayne films and this one.

That memory makes me smile.

[lasu]

My rando memory of this movie:

Probably about 15 years ago, I had a tiny gay man who lived in the apartment under me.  I would see him occasionally, and it was clear it was an old southern drunk.  Sweet as a button, but it was hard to talk to him and not feel Tennessee Williams level tragedy.  He would sometimes sit on my patio and tell me all these stories - mainly about how he wrote most of Ouiser's lines in the movie.  I knew that wasn't true, but there are some people you just let have their stories.  He did end up passing away while we lived there, and I was always glad I was nice to him and let him tell me his stories.

[Palimelon]

 

 

[JAYJAY1979]

I just did a rewatch of the movie, and the character of Shelby was very spoiled and entitled.  It's the talents of Julia that Shelby's more positive attributes were more in focus then her less than positive ones.

I think her choice of having a baby despite being told it would harm her health is something that will be debated for many many years to come.  Some think she was selfish for having the baby, others think otherwise.   A hallmark of a good movie..imho

[Shermie]

Does anyone know if there’s a reason why almost all the main characters’ names are so unusual? I mean Truvy, Ouiser, M’Lynn, Annelle, Clairee, Drum. 

Edited September 15 by Shermie

[Palimelon]

Ouiser was actually the nickname for Louisa, but still...they're quirky White southern people of a certain generation? Plus how could you leave out Spud?

[scarynikki12]

Truvy is short for Gertrude, Ouiser for Louisa, M'Lynn I'm guessing is for something like Mary Lynn, Clairee for Claire. Annelle likely never had enough family or friends growing up to get a nickname like the other ladies. Spud's formal name could be anything and I think Drum is probably just short for Drummond. 

The variety of nicknames are probably similar to the nicknames of Robert's parents and their friends and neighbors in real life and they provide a memorable and diverse array of character names. I'm just grateful we didn't get any Southern nicknames like Earl or Bubba. Even if 100% accurate to the story it would just seem cliche.

[AgathaC]

On 9/15/2024 at 3:03 PM, Shermie said:

Does anyone know if there’s a reason why almost all the main characters’ names are so unusual? I mean Truvy, Ouiser, M’Lynn, Annelle, Clairee, Drum. 

As others said, that’s pretty typical for Southern ladies of that generation. I was very close to my grandparents and knew most of their friends. Soooo many nicknames — most of which originated with siblings who were unable to properly pronounce their names. I’m just surprised there wasn’t a “Sis.” My grandmother was friends with three — who all had to have their last names included to differentiate. I miss those ladies. You haven’t lived until you’ve sat down to lunch with a group of gossipy, elderly Southern ladies.

[smart4ss]

Can anybody help to corroborate my memory?  I remember Clairee snorting.

When Steel Magnolias was first being shown in movie theaters, I distinctly remember seeing the television advertisements showing clips from the movie. One clip featured Olympia Dukakis snorting like a pig.  In the movie, it happens right after Ouiser says "You are a pig from hell!".

I can't remember how many times I've seen the movie, but thanks to the tv commercials in 1989, I saw those couple seconds of Olympia snorting many, many times on those ads before I ever saw the whole movie.

So I'm very sure.  That shot was cut. I realize that from anybody else's perspective, it could seem I'm delusional.  But I'm not.

Part of that shot still remains...about a half second of Clairee's face is shown, over Ousier's shoulder, with a big, smug, open mouth smile, right before Ouiser is shown stomping away. We should see her snort a couple times immediately before that smug half second.

The quickest way to prove the shot was cut is to find the original.  I've scoured google and have found ZERO evidence of the snorting, or any mention of it being cut out later. Oh! I just found a Pinterest post that shows exactly where the cut was made:
 

 

I'm as sure as a person can be.  So why can't I find the original scene?  Have all traces of the event somehow been eliminated?   Did the Dukakis clan hate seeing her act like a pig, and so they got rid of it somehow? If it's possible to make a couple seconds from such a well-known movie disappear forever, what else has been made to disappear forever?

[Palimelon]

It's possible that scene was only in the trailer/ads, but was cut from the movie itself?

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, Palimelon said:

It's possible that scene was only in the trailer/ads, but was cut from the movie itself?

Yeah, trailers are made and released while the film is still being edited, so it's not at all uncommon for a different version of a scene to wind up being used in the final edit than what was used in the trailer.

And there are multiple trailers for films -- there are theatrical trailers (shown before other movies in the cinema) and TV trailers (shown on TV), usually several different versions of each, especially TV trailers.  So the snort take, if not a false memory, likely came from one of those several TV trailers.