S06.E11: Planning For The Future

[Kareem]

Wonder what she sees in him.  She had sex with him right from the jump because she says she's affectionate (?) and she's been forgiving of his showboat behavior and his nights out, tolerates his incessant babbling so that he doesn't have to listen to her, and she handles his idiotic arguments with grace.  Strange. Still think she should RUN.

Would be interesting if Mojo stay together  because he thinks she's pretty.  Sort of like the tortoise winning the race.  

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 3/24/2018 at 10:29 AM, Gem 10 said:

I was trying to give Molly a chance, but her true colors came out when Jon confronted her in the bed when he said she had no trouble having a three-some.  She came back at him like a snake cursing a "fuck you", that was my college years.  That was the real Molly, and it wasn't pretty.  Jon had her there and she couldn't take it.  Molly thinks she's God's gift to men.  Jon is being a gentlemen and trying everything to make her like him. I just can't see them together.  He deserves better.  Right now, he is bedazzled by her looks.

I just can't let that one go by without comment. I definitely agree that Jon caught her being a hypocrite with the 'threesome' thing -- although he really shouldn't have brought it up on camera. 

However, I'm not sure how much of a 'gentleman' Jon really is. He actually hasn't revealed very much about himself. He always seems to be either reacting to Molly or (wisely) keeping his mouth shut. Molly has made it crystal clear that she dislikes the playful side of Jon's personality --which would pretty much make it impossible for them both to be happy as a couple.

If they decide to stay married, Molly might be happy. If Jon gets a new high-paying commodities/stock-trading job and is able to pay for a big fancy house, several nice cars, and expensive vacations, that would make Molly much happier. Maybe she would even let him enjoy that platinum vagina from time to time! But Jon would still have to keep his mouth shut most of the time and let her be in control.

As for Jon, I do think he's probably one of those guys who's all about the "conquest". By withholding sexual intimacy, Molly has Jon hooked like a marlin --a big hunky fish just dangling at the end of her pole, gasping for oxygen and completely at her mercy. I've never understood why men are so attracted to pretty --but extremely vain, and super-manipulative-- women. Most men seem to get involved with one at some point in their lives. A lot of them grow out of it by the time they're 25 or so, but Jon hasn't. 

If Jon stays with Molly after this 'experiment' is over, he won't be happy.

Edited March 27, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[humbleopinion]

Ryan must be livid about the editing he is getting from the show...he is his own worse enemy...reality bites.

[Gem 10]

3 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I just can't let that one go by without comment. I definitely agree that Jon caught her being a hypocrite with the 'threesome' thing -- although he really shouldn't have brought it up on camera. 

However, I'm not sure how much of a 'gentleman' Jon really is. He actually hasn't revealed very much about himself. He always seems to be either reacting to Molly or (wisely) keeping his mouth shut. Molly has made it crystal clear that she dislikes the playful side of Jon's personality --which would pretty much make it impossible for them both to be happy as a couple.

If they decide to stay married, Molly might be happy. If Jon gets a new high-paying commodities/stock-trading job and is able to pay for a big fancy house, several nice cars, and expensive vacations, that would make Molly much happier. Maybe she would even let him enjoy that platinum vagina from time to time! But Jon would still have to keep his mouth shut most of the time and let her be in control.

As for Jon, I do think he's probably one of those guys who's all about the "conquest". By withholding sexual intimacy, Molly has Jon hooked like a marlin --a big hunky fish just dangling at the end of her pole, gasping for oxygen and completely at her mercy. I've never understood why men are so attracted to pretty --but extremely vain, and super-manipulative-- women. Most men seem to get involved with one at some point in their lives. A lot of them grow out of it after they're 25 or so, but Jon hasn't. 

If Jon stays with Molly after this 'experiment' is over, he won't be happy.

I don't get exactly what you mean.  We know how they are from what we see.  We don't know how they are from what we don't see.  That goes for all of them, not only Jon.

[qtpye]

On 3/23/2018 at 4:36 PM, Sterling said:

With as handsome as Jon is (apparently in real life, maybe even more handsome!) and what a good guy he seems to be, I think that he'd never be attracted to Jackie like he is to Molly.  Jackie is cute, but just not in Jon's league.  Yes, Jackie has an adorable personality, but let's face it....men are visual creatures, and Molly's whole package, yes, including the hair/nails/makeup/skinnyness, are just super attractive to Jon.

Ryan suffers from Arrested Development.  I'd put him at about 12-15 years old.  That awkward age where you think you know everything, and you respond to everything by just talking over the person, never resolving anything.   Highly immature.

I think that Ryan wants Marriage in a Bottle.....Amazon prime delivered.  Not real marriage where you have to actually....um.....work at it.

 

 

19 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

You have a good point. I definitely don't think Ryan is gay --I think he's insecure about women. It wouldn't matter what woman he was paired with. He likes having sex with women and he likes the idea of having a woman at home available whenever he wants sex. He never wanted a wife who would be his life *partner*. Buddies and work friends are for talking to and hanging out with, women are for sex (and maybe cooking, and cleaning, and doing the shopping). The only time he really wants to spend time with her socially is when he needs a "plus one". It's the old, "traditional" viewpoint on marriage... except that "his" woman makes money too, so that's an extra perk!

Ryan probably wouldn't even cheat on his wife. Approaching strange women who aren't already married to him is very scary (and unpleasant) from his point of view. 

Ryan would just *love* Second Chances -- but the "experts" might have a hard time finding enough female volunteers.

 

I think instead of getting married, Ryan should have just invested in one of those gross blow-up sex dolls since that would be his perfect woman. He could get the sex and then roll her up into a closet when he wants to go out.

I do not even think Ryan really wants children, he just thinks "he is supposed to want children" because he is a definitely way too self-involved to be any sort of a husband or father.

Edited March 24, 2018 by qtpye

[Crazy Bird Lady]

56 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I do not even think Ryan really wants children, he just thinks "he is supposed to want children" because he is a defintilly way too self-involved to be any sort of a husband or father.

I think Ryan probably likes the idea of having children. You know, passing on his genes, maybe even giving a son his own name, or whatever... But unless Ryan changes dramatically, he probably wouldn't spend much time with them, at least not until he had a kid old enough to coach. When the baby had colic all night long, he might even go off to a friend's house to get some sleep (leaving his wife to deal with everything)-- after all, he works such long hours and everything, he needs his rest!  LOL

Edited March 24, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Chalby]

On 3/21/2018 at 5:38 AM, Kareem said:

... while he's home with the kids ...

 

Like ANYONE would leave children with that idiot? I could see him putting them to bed and then heading out to meet up with his 'friends'. I also imagine a conversation in the bar going something like this... "Oh man, then Ryan declared he'll never be submissive in the bedroom. What an idiot ... Oh damn, he just walked in..."

Edited March 24, 2018 by Chalby

[humbleopinion]

Ryan told Jackie that he won’t change.

Listen to him.

He is incapable of imagining his life other than how it is now.

There is no room for Jackie.

”Cheers to that” is not how you resolve problems in a marriage.

Edited March 25, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Chalby]

On 3/22/2018 at 1:23 PM, Happyfatchick said:

 

Shawniece (wow, that doesn’t look right...) is my girl.  I LOVE this girl.  I was so afraid (because she is tender with her feelings) that she would be steamrolled, but she’s so much stronger than even SHE thought she was.

 

I really enjoy watching S and J. I find J to be really attractive, but he drives me nuts when he shuts down. His communication skills remind me of a little 8 year old boy. I can't help but wonder if his mother's strong and opinionated personality left him as an 8 year old boy stuck in a man's body?

54 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

But unless Ryan changes dramatically, he probably wouldn't spend much time with them, at least not until he had a kid old enough to coach.

 

Is Ryan even capable of playing general sports? Paintball is one thing, but he seems so geeky and awkward, I can't even picture him playing football, baseball, basketball OR hockey. He talks a big story but I think Jackie could probably outplay him in most sports.

[humbleopinion]

Jon and Molly looked more couple-y in this episode.

Jon was busting with pride with his sad little birthday party(if Molly had planned a couples’ birthday fete then M@FS would have paid ) and a thoughtful(sarcasm) gift card.

Molly at her most relationshipy to date.

Has Jon ever said why he hasn’t found love?

Edited March 24, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Latenites]

Has Ryan said "your best isn't good enough" yet, or is that still to come?

[qtpye]

Marriage being a final trophy of adulthood and success may be why Ryan was so eager to get married. This article explains some of the changing attitudes toward marriage in society.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/03/incredible-everlasting-institution-marriage/555320

I imagine Ryan's friends are the awesome hunky fireman type who have no trouble attracting women when compared to dorky s*** boy Ryan. He probably thought this was a way to get a woman without you know...actually caring about anybody but himself.

[qtpye]

Ryan should also read this:

 

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." - Friedrich Nietzsche

[gonecrackers]

10 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I was trying to give Molly a chance, but her true colors came out when Jon confronted her in the bed when he said she had no trouble having a three-some.  She came back at him like a snake cursing a "fuck you", that was my college years.  That was the real Molly, and it wasn't pretty.  Jon had her there and she couldn't take it.  Molly thinks she's God's gift to men.  Jon is being a gentlemen and trying everything to make her like him. I just can't see them together.  He deserves better.  Right now, he is bedazzled by her looks.

She told him to "go fuck" himself, which I find ironic given their circumstances. 

Jon has to tone down his life & personality, & Molly still finds him barely acceptable.  Maybe this will be a turning point for Jon to look more inward when actually choosing his next partner. 

Or, superficial is as superficial does.

I have to wonder if Cody is watching & having a little PTSD.

The next time Ryan goes out at 11pm Jaclyn can dump all his crap outside & leave a sign on the door - "Go fuck yourself".

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I think Ryan probably likes the idea of having children. You know, passing on his genes, maybe even giving a son his own name, or whatever... But unless Ryan changes dramatically, he probably wouldn't spend much time with them, at least not until he had a kid old enough to coach. When the baby had colic all night long, he might even go off to a friend's house to get some sleep (leaving his wife to deal with everything)-- after all, he works such long hours and everything, he needs his rest!  LOL

You kind of beat me to it, but I also think Ryan likes the idea of being married more than actually having an intimate relationship with a real live woman.  That's why he's constantly inventing reasons to avoid it and acting very defensive about them.  Given his traditional bent, he is motivated to be married out of a sense of duty and traditional values over a need for togetherness.  Which makes him ultimately bad marriage material.   The drinking itself is another means of relationship avoidance.  He must have issues with emotional intimacy with women and when faced with it acts out even more to avoid it.  Unless he orders a "mail order bride" looking to flee an oppressed country that will take whatever she gets and not put any pressure on him for emotional intimacy, he is ultimately doomed to fail at marriage.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, qtpye said:

I imagine Ryan's friends are the awesome hunky fireman type who have no trouble attracting women when compared to dorky s*** boy Ryan. He probably thought this was a way to get a woman without you know...actually caring about anybody but himself.

Probably true.  In my experience firemen are also usually all around good marriage material, loyal and sweet natured, kind of like Jason from season 1.  Ryan is actually not typical in that way either.

[Waterlilly]

Next stop for Ryan “90 Day Fiance’”.

[lezlers]

On ‎3‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 2:29 PM, Gem 10 said:

I'm surprised Ryan went for the more expensive ring as he looks cheap to me.  Remember when he was haggling for a few bucks at the straw market on the honeymoon?  The seller is trying to make a few bucks, and Asshat is low balling him.  Low class big shot from Boston.

Ryan is all about appearances.  He wants to check the "wife" box to fit in with his firefighting buddies.  He speaks over everyone else to show off how awesome he is all the time.  It's completely in his character to buy the fanciest ring, thinking it'll reflect well on HIM.  I guarantee he doesn't give two shits about what kind of jewelry Jackie likes.  It's all about what HE wants to give and the accolades HE'LL receive after giving it.   I can't stand him.  Also?  Check out his twitter.  He's kind of an idiot.  My six year old has better spelling than him.

On ‎3‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 1:01 AM, Yeah No said:

I don't think Ryan's behavior is a cover-up for being gay.  I think it's a cover-up for being insecure.  All that chest beating, emotional tough-guy act and spending more on the ring are to compensate somehow for his feelings of inadequacy.  He acts just the opposite of the way he really feels to try to convince the world (and himself) that he's not a wimp.  Only it comes out as overcompensation, going overboard in the opposite direction, making himself look like a caricature of a pre-historic brute.

He's a human Chihuahua 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

14 hours ago, qtpye said:

Ryan should also read this:

 

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Jon should read it, too. You cannot be happy in a marriage where feel you have to keep your mouth shut to avoid angering the other person. That's not friendship or partnership!

[Crazy Bird Lady]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

 In my experience firemen are also usually all around good marriage material, loyal and sweet good natured, kind of like Jason from season 1.  Ryan is actually not typical in that way either.

While I totally agree that (without a lot of therapy to work out his 'issues') Ryan is absolutely not good husband material --he isn't a monster. Anyone who has watched this show from the beginning has seen Ryan be sweet and even considerate to Jaclyn. He seems cooperative and helpful and mostly good-natured around his buddies and family, too. But it looks like, at this point, Ryan is being a totalitarian, inflexible jerk in his marriage.

 [Perhaps the show's editors have played a role in that?]

Something about it doesn't fit. Ryan is one of the guys running into danger to save other people, their homes, and even their pets. He may make a decent salary, but he doesn't get rich being a fireman --and I'm pretty sure he doesn't make much for coaching his buddies, etc., either. He seems genuinely passionate about his work as a fireman, and I think it's important to him that he's helping his community. Ryan does seem to like helping others and being a 'hero' to them.

Unfortunately, Ryan has made commitments that take up almost every waking minute of his week, and (so far, at least) he shows no flexibilty for making travel plans, and no inclination to back out of any commitment he's made to others so that he can spend time with his new wife.

Maybe he would be happier with one of those blow-up dolls.

Edited March 25, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[lezlers]

On ‎3‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 6:24 AM, Lily247 said:

I think my point was missed ... I work 32 hours a week myself, (make almost same income) yet I usually make dinner simply bc I love to cook and he doesnt. My story doesn't really reflect that of Ryan and Jaclyn's because they are such a new couple, yet forced into an unnatural relationship. 

But why is it on the wife to ensure her husband comes home at night?  That sounds like some 1950s nonsense to me. How about he comes home at night because he's a decent husband who cares about his wife, not because the wife is kissing his ass to try and coax him through the door at night?

[lezlers]

On ‎3‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 8:29 AM, Gem 10 said:

I was trying to give Molly a chance, but her true colors came out when Jon confronted her in the bed when he said she had no trouble having a three-some.  She came back at him like a snake cursing a "fuck you", that was my college years.  That was the real Molly, and it wasn't pretty.  Jon had her there and she couldn't take it.  Molly thinks she's God's gift to men.  Jon is being a gentlemen and trying everything to make her like him. I just can't see them together.  He deserves better.  Right now, he is bedazzled by her looks.

I snickered at her "that was in college" stuff considering she's what? 25?  So her "college years" were like, 3-4 years ago.  Ancient history!

[Jack Sampson]

35 minutes ago, lezlers said:

But why is it on the wife to ensure her husband comes home at night?  That sounds like some 1950s nonsense to me. How about he comes home at night because he's a decent husband who cares about his wife, not because the wife is kissing his ass to try and coax him through the door at night?

It's incumbent on both people to create an environment that the other wants to spend time with.  If Ryan was coming home to Jackie taking a nap on the couch, watching soaps, chain smoking, eating junk food and looking like a sloppy mess - fine, she needs to put in more effort.  But that doesn't appear to be the case.  Jackie seems to be willing to have fun, have sex and be reasonably interesting to spend time with.

Ryan's behavior strikes me as a guy looking for any excuse to leave. 

20 minutes ago, lezlers said:

I snickered at her "that was in college" stuff considering she's what? 25?  So her "college years" were like, 3-4 years ago.  Ancient history!

And, she's not saying, "Hey, no more one night stands and slutty hookups for me."  That would be reasonable for a married woman.  She's saying, "No sex...period.  Not even general affection because that's relationshipy.  And HOW DARE YOU think that just because we're married and just because I'm doing my best to convince you that sex might happen gives you any right to ask 'when?'"  Then, when she realizes that means Jon, and the spotlight, will leave, follows up with a completely insincere, "Well, in time we might have a great sex life and a big family - because attraction grows!"

[lezlers]

6 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

It's incumbent on both people to create an environment that the other wants to spend time with.  If Ryan was coming home to Jackie taking a nap on the couch, watching soaps, chain smoking, eating junk food and looking like a sloppy mess - fine, she needs to put in more effort.  But that doesn't appear to be the case.  Jackie seems to be willing to have fun, have sex and be reasonably interesting to spend time with.

Ryan's behavior strikes me as a guy looking for any excuse to leave. 

And, she's not saying, "Hey, no more one night stands and slutty hookups for me."  That would be reasonable for a married woman.  She's saying, "No sex...period.  Not even general affection because that's relationshipy.  And HOW DARE YOU think that just because we're married and just because I'm doing my best to convince you that sex might happen gives you any right to ask 'when?'"  Then, when she realizes that means Jon, and the spotlight, will leave, follows up with a completely insincere, "Well, in time we might have a great sex life and a big family - because attraction grows!"

Ok, WHO SET UP THE CAMERA IN MY HOUSE?

[Jack Sampson]

1 minute ago, lezlers said:

Ok, WHO SET UP THE CAMERA IN MY HOUSE?

Put down the cigs and get to a gym.

[Yeah No]

33 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Put down the cigs and get to a gym.

You sound like a NutriSystem commercial.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

While I totally agree that (without a lot of therapy to work out his 'issues') Ryan is absolutely not good husband material --he isn't a monster. Anyone who has watched this show from the beginning has seen Ryan be sweet and even considerate to Jaclyn. He seems cooperative and helpful and mostly good-natured around his buddies and family, too. But it looks like, at this point, Ryan is being a totalitarian, inflexible jerk in his marriage.

 [Perhaps the show's editors have played a role in that?]

Something about it doesn't fit. Ryan is one of the guys running into danger to save other people, their homes, and even their pets. He may make a decent salary, but he doesn't get rich being a fireman --and I'm pretty sure he doesn't make much for coaching his buddies, etc., either. He seems genuinely passionate about his work as a fireman, and I think it's important to him that he's helping his community. Ryan does seem to like helping others and being a 'hero' to them.

Unfortunately, Ryan has made commitments that take up almost every waking minute of his week, and (so far, at least) he shows no flexibilty for making travel plans, and no inclination to back out of any commitment he's made to others so that he can spend time with his new wife.

Maybe he would be happier with one of those blow-up dolls.

For sure Ryan is not a monster, just a run of the mill douche with intimacy issues that probably would be happier with one of those blow-up dolls.

Since some wise person named @lezlers said upthread that he's all about appearances, I think the emphasis there is "looking like a hero" to all his buddies.  Running into buildings is more about that than helping anyone, plus didn't he say in the beginning that he comes from a family of fire fighters?  Ryan seems to do things out of a sense of tradition more than passion.   I've known a lot of guys just like Ryan.....

[Lily247]

5 hours ago, lezlers said:

But why is it on the wife to ensure her husband comes home at night?  That sounds like some 1950s nonsense to me. How about he comes home at night because he's a decent husband who cares about his wife, not because the wife is kissing his ass to try and coax him through the door at night?

Marriage is not always about being "right". This is a major reason why so many marriages are failing. I didn't mean that it is the wife's responsibility to ensure her husband comes home at night - that is on him. However, rather than nag, to take a lighter, nonchalant approach and still show warmth can go far greater lengths. I don't want to use the word "manipulation", (because no one should be manipulated )but I will say this - many men can be easily "manipulated" (for lack of a better term I can think of) by his wife if she is aware of how his brain works. I'll put it this way - if she wants more affection, attention, etc. there are definitely ways to make him come around. There is also a saying how you will lure bees in with honey, not vinegar if you get my drift. It is more applicable in a long-running marriage that may have grown stale or boring. In a brand new relationship, like Ryan and Jaclyn's, it does not and should not really apply, as in, he should be spending this time with her so soon in. 

[Gem 10]

13 hours ago, Lily247 said:

Marriage is not always about being "right". This is a major reason why so many marriages are failing. I didn't mean that it is the wife's responsibility to ensure her husband comes home at night - that is on him. However, rather than nag, to take a lighter, nonchalant approach and still show warmth can go far greater lengths. I don't want to use the word "manipulation", (because no one should be manipulated )but I will say this - many men can be easily "manipulated" (for lack of a better term I can think of) by his wife if she is aware of how his brain works. I'll put it this way - if she wants more affection, attention, etc. there are definitely ways to make him come around. There is also a saying how you will lure bees in with honey, not vinegar if you get my drift. It is more applicable in a long-running marriage that may have grown stale or boring. In a brand new relationship, like Ryan and Jaclyn's, it does not and should not really apply, as in, he should be spending this time with her so soon in. 

Jackie is a loving good woman and gave him sex from day 1.  She could stand there naked, and Ryan will still go out.  He is the type of guy that has to have that male bonding no matter what, and it's excessive, and he doesn't care.  He's already blowing up after five weeks.  When she was sick, he should have stayed home to make her a cup of tea and a Tylenol, but chose to go out.  He's a creep.

Edited March 26, 2018 by Gem 10

[lezlers]

14 hours ago, Lily247 said:

Marriage is not always about being "right". This is a major reason why so many marriages are failing. I didn't mean that it is the wife's responsibility to ensure her husband comes home at night - that is on him. However, rather than nag, to take a lighter, nonchalant approach and still show warmth can go far greater lengths. I don't want to use the word "manipulation", (because no one should be manipulated )but I will say this - many men can be easily "manipulated" (for lack of a better term I can think of) by his wife if she is aware of how his brain works. I'll put it this way - if she wants more affection, attention, etc. there are definitely ways to make him come around. There is also a saying how you will lure bees in with honey, not vinegar if you get my drift. It is more applicable in a long-running marriage that may have grown stale or boring. In a brand new relationship, like Ryan and Jaclyn's, it does not and should not really apply, as in, he should be spending this time with her so soon in. 

So if I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying that if there's something wrong in the marriage preventing one spouse from coming home at night, that problem should be fixed.  I doubt you'd find anyone on this earth who would disagree with that.  Perhaps your earlier post was overly simplistic, because it read as if you were proposing wives were solely responsible for creating an atmosphere their husband would want to come home to, which is a very antiquated view of marriage presuming a man will inherently stay out all night unless the little woman creates the perfect little love nest for him to return to.  That is what I took issue with.  While it's true marriages used to last a lot longer a few decades ago, there were also a LOT of very unhappily married women out there that stayed because of lack of resources and an inability to survive on their own.  Fortunately most women no longer have to be subservient to a man in order to survive.  I agree that if there are issues in the marriage to the point where one spouse isn't looking forward to coming home and is instead staying out all night, something needs to be done by BOTH spouses to address the issue.  You can bet, however, that if my husband were out partying every night I wouldn't be on the phone whispering "yes darling, stay out whenever you want!  I'll have dinner waiting for you, a clean house, perfectly groomed children and will be home vacuuming in a negligée whenever you decide to return!!" in order to get him to come home. I respect myself too much to do that.   Even if he did start coming home, I'd resent the hell out of the fact that I had to go back in time fifty years in order for him to do so.  We're BOTH responsible for making this marriage work. 

Edited March 26, 2018 by lezlers

[Lily247]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

Jackie is a loving good woman and gave him sex from day 1.  She could stand there naked, and Ryan will still go out.  He is the type of guy that has to have that male bonding no matter what, and it's excessive, and he doesn't care.  He's already blowing up after five weeks.  When she was sick, he should have stayed home to make her a cup of tea and a Tylenol, but chose to go out.  He's a creep.

You are absolutely right. However, this relationship is a "marriage" in name only. They may have had sex from day 1, but you can't force a deep emotional connection in a few weeks old relationship. Jackie seems to be an awesome, loving, laid-back wife - however, like Ryan said, they are not "in love" yet, they do appear to like each other but it's way too early to see real bonding. And they may never will be for whatever reason we cannot begin tto surmise. I don't think that Ryan wants to be with her, and it may have been for anything - it could have been the fact that they had sex the very first night, or the recently deceased love of her life, who knows. It would have been nice for him to stay with her and make her tea, but he just doens't have those feelings for her to do that I don't think. The problem here is that to keep labelling these relationships as "marriages" is kind of an insult to the institution of marriage, much like the premise of this show, but that's a whole nother discussion. 

[Lily247]

1 hour ago, lezlers said:

So if I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying that if there's something wrong in the marriage preventing one spouse from coming home at night, that problem should be fixed.  I doubt you'd find anyone on this earth who would disagree with that.  Perhaps your earlier post was overly simplistic, because it read as if you were proposing wives were solely responsible for creating an atmosphere their husband would want to come home to, which is a very antiquated view of marriage presuming a man will inherently stay out all night unless the little woman creates the perfect little love nest for him to return to.  That is what I took issue with.  While it's true marriages used to last a lot longer a few decades ago, there were also a LOT of very unhappily married women out there that stayed because of lack of resources and an inability to survive on their own.  Fortunately most women no longer have to be subservient to a man in order to survive.  I agree that if there are issues in the marriage to the point where one spouse isn't looking forward to coming home and is instead staying out all night, something needs to be done by BOTH spouses to address the issue.  You can bet, however, that if my husband were out partying every night I wouldn't be on the phone whispering "yes darling, stay out whenever you want!  I'll have dinner waiting for you, a clean house, perfectly groomed children and will be home vacuuming in a negligée whenever you decide to return!!" in order to get him to come home. I respect myself too much to do that.   Even if he did start coming home, I'd resent the hell out of the fact that I had to go back in time fifty years in order for him to do so.  We're BOTH responsible for making this marriage work. 

 

To each their own, I guess. When I got married, I received marriage counselling, and several years I ago attended another marriage counseling class with some friends when I was noticing that I wasn't happy. To be honest, I notice every single day marriages where the wife is the boss, and the husband goes along with it because it is just easier that way.... and a lot of couples don't realize they have this dynamic going on at all. Most men are happiest when they are in charge and looked up to in the family dynamics. A man's job is to make sure that his wife is taken care of and that he gives her enough attention and love... and if it isn't happening, there are ways to mold this, without constant phone calls, nagging, etc. (I am excluding examples of abuse). Lingering resent is the biggest enemy, and there will be no happiness as long as one or both partners insists to hold onto it. I also was raised in a different part of the world so I have a different perspective than many here I guess. 

Edited March 26, 2018 by Lily247

[kira28]

Ryan's attitude is its his way or the highway. IMO Ryan isn't a very desirable guy. He's not attractive and he has a lot of annoying qualities. He's lucky to be married to Jackie. She's cute seems loyal and fun and is pretty easy going compared to some women (see Shawniece and Molly lol) I'm sure she has her faults too but wanting her husband to spend time with her and not be out drinking every night isn't one of them. It doesn't matter what Jacqueline does it will never be good enough for Ryan to give up his jobs his drinking buddies or paintball. I certainly wouldn't mind my husband hanging  out with his buddies but if I had to get up at 6am and hubby was waking me up at 4am because he just returned home from an all night bender and this happened more nights then not I'd be pissed. I think Ryan has realized he has no interest in being married so he has checked out. 

Edited March 26, 2018 by kira28

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, Lily247 said:

You are absolutely right. However, this relationship is a "marriage" in name only. They may have had sex from day 1, but you can't force a deep emotional connection in a few weeks old relationship. Jackie seems to be an awesome, loving, laid-back wife - however, like Ryan said, they are not "in love" yet, they do appear to like each other but it's way too early to see real bonding. And they may never will be for whatever reason we cannot begin tto surmise. I don't think that Ryan wants to be with her, and it may have been for anything - it could have been the fact that they had sex the very first night, or the recently deceased love of her life, who knows. It would have been nice for him to stay with her and make her tea, but he just doens't have those feelings for her to do that I don't think. The problem here is that to keep labelling these relationships as "marriages" is kind of an insult to the institution of marriage, much like the premise of this show, but that's a whole nother discussion. 

So much talk about marriage.  I've been married FOREVER and it wasn't easy.  There are no rules.  Both have to RESPECT one another and GIVE & TAKE.  It's hard in the beginning, but as the years go by, a person learns what makes it good or bad.  There is no Boss.  We are equal.  Sometimes I give in and sometimes he gives in, and it works.  Being Selfish does not work.

[lezlers]

6 hours ago, Lily247 said:

To each their own, I guess. When I got married, I received marriage counselling, and several years I ago attended another marriage counseling class with some friends when I was noticing that I wasn't happy. To be honest, I notice every single day marriages where the wife is the boss, and the husband goes along with it because it is just easier that way.... and a lot of couples don't realize they have this dynamic going on at all. Most men are happiest when they are in charge and looked up to in the family dynamics. A man's job is to make sure that his wife is taken care of and that he gives her enough attention and love... and if it isn't happening, there are ways to mold this, without constant phone calls, nagging, etc. (I am excluding examples of abuse). Lingering resent is the biggest enemy, and there will be no happiness as long as one or both partners insists to hold onto it. I also was raised in a different part of the world so I have a different perspective than many here I guess. 

That's where we diverge and will just have to agree to disagree.  My husband isn't "in charge."  We are equals.  I ceased having anyone "in charge" of me when I graduated high school and went out on my own.  We both give and take in order to keep each other happy.  Every marriage is different, so there is no one size fits all.  I don't think Jackie is the type to slip into the "little woman" role and become subservient to Ryan.  Clearly that's what Ryan wants in a spouse, however.  Which is why this marriage is doomed to fail.

[Kareem]

Interesting that while Ryan keeps announcing that he refuses to change ("Why would she want me to?" was an incredible question...), Jon told his friends that he would see them in a few weeks. I gave him much credit for that because he made Molly his priority and because he has the sense to realize that they have only a short time to get to know each other.  It's a shame that something that simple doesn't sink into Ryan's concrete head.  

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, Kareem said:

Interesting that while Ryan keeps announcing that he refuses to change ("Why would she want me to?" was an incredible question...), Jon told his friends that he would see them in a few weeks. I gave him much credit for that because he made Molly his priority and because he has the sense to realize that they have only a short time to get to know each other.  It's a shame that something that simple doesn't sink into Ryan's concrete head.  

I sorta wish Ryan was matched with Molly. She would take one look at Ryan at the end of the aisle and then run away faster than the Road Runner.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

11 hours ago, qtpye said:

I sorta wish Ryan was matched with Molly. She would take one look at Ryan at the end of the aisle and then run away faster than the Road Runner.

Probably.

If I remember right, when the "experts" were making matches for their couples, Ryan and Molly were considered a possibility before they switched things around. I have to say --if they had ended up together, Ryan and Molly would have deserved each other!

Ryan doesn't have a handsome face, and he's not all that tall. But (if you remember the honeymoon pics), Ryan is strong. The feel of hard muscles against her body when a man holds a woman in a hug (or a slow dance) is a definite turn-on for a lot of women. And Molly claims she likes sex, just not with Jon. So maybe Molly would have hopped on Ryan like a bunny!

Edited March 27, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[humbleopinion]

Molly is an education snob and even though she won't bang Jon she respects his multiple degrees, his career trajectory and past military service... making him desirable for any company to hire.

Ryan's regional vernacular, unconventional grammar, folksy use of suspenders would dry up her temperamental libido...

[qtpye]

4 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Probably.

If I remember right, when the "experts" were making matches for their couples, Ryan and Molly were considered a possibility before they switched things around. I have to say --if they had ended up together, Ryan and Molly would have deserved each other!

Ryan doesn't have a handsome face, and he's not all that tall. But (if you remember the honeymoon pics), Ryan is strong. The feel of hard muscles against her body when a man holds a woman in a hug (or a slow dance) is a definite turn-on for a lot of women. And Molly claims she likes sex, just not with Jon. So maybe Molly would have hopped on Ryan like a bunny!

 

Jon's got a better body than Ryan, a much more handsome face, and a charismatic nondorky personality. If Molly is not attracted to Jon, Ryan probably does not stand a chance, unless she has a secret clown suspender fetish.

Edited March 27, 2018 by qtpye

[humbleopinion]

Clown suspender predilection MUST include the big shoes.....or it doesn't stir the loins....I learned that on the Internet......

[Gem 10]

5 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Molly is an education snob and even though she won't bang Jon she respects his multiple degrees, his career trajectory and past military service... making him desirable for any company to hire.

Ryan's regional vernacular, unconventional grammar, folksy use of suspenders would dry up her temperamental libido...

Absolutely.  Muscles never turned me on, but a good cup of coffee and a turkey sandwich served to me definitely would.  This thread is too much !  

Edited March 27, 2018 by Gem 10

[humbleopinion]

Geez, thanks...now I have a strong hankering for a turkey sandwich on lightly toasted bread served by a clown....

[Chalby]

On 3/24/2018 at 8:00 PM, gonecrackers said:

She told him to "go fuck" himself, which I find ironic given their circumstances. 

 

 

To be fair, Molly shared something with him trusting him not to throw it in her face. If Molly truly believes a real, loving relationship will not happen simply because the two of them are intimate right away, that's okay. She is taking this seriously and doesn't want any missteps including sexual ones. In reality, she wouldn't be giving it up right away for a guy she was truly interested in, long-term, nor should she be publically-shamed for a drunken youthful indiscretion.

[gonecrackers]

47 minutes ago, Chalby said:

To be fair, Molly shared something with him trusting him not to throw it in her face. If Molly truly believes a real, loving relationship will not happen simply because the two of them are intimate right away, that's okay. She is taking this seriously and doesn't want any missteps including sexual ones. In reality, she wouldn't be giving it up right away for a guy she was truly interested in, long-term, nor should she be publically-shamed for a drunken youthful indiscretion.

She made the threesome public knowledge in her interview process, which was filmed & played for viewers. He used it to try to make a point that didn't apply there, & it wasn't done well. 

We really don't know who Molly gives it up for, or what that takes in her book.

However, I believe it was a scripted fight & am not taking it seriously, as neither did they, since they moved on quickly. Therefore, I found her reaction somewhat humorous.

Edited March 28, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Happyfatchick]

On 3/26/2018 at 11:23 AM, kira28 said:

I think Ryan has realized he has no interest in being married so he has checked out. 

EXACTLY!

I mean, we don’t see every second of their lives, so we can’t possibly know the changing dynamics other than what the producers tee up for us.  But at some point (don’t know where), Ryan got slapped with a big dose of reality... (sorry... it fit)... I think he “likes” Jackie just fine, but he no more ready to be married than my 6 month old grandchild.  He is such a child.  And she is so not.