S07.E08: Tea Time with Zoey

[jodo]

I am sure Jen meant wish we had more wall space instead of walls!!   

[Absolom]

I'm not worried about Will's birthday cake.  It looked like production needed some time filler so voila!  We will have cake lady come to the house.  That should be good for the required 4.25 needed minutes of film.  Cake lady gets her name, face, and cake on TV.  Of course she'll come to the house at no charge.  She will give them a cake also. 

 

My daughter splurged on an $80 cake for grandson's first birthday.  She makes about the same salary as Jen.  She had the same baker make it who made their wedding cake. It was kind of symbolic for her.  However, he's getting a regular cake for second birthday.  Jen may well do that after this year. 

[4leafclover]

The show has been really good about supporting small businesses in Houston and I see the "cake lady" as more of the same.  And you're right, if you'd seen our oldest son's first birthday cake/party compared to all the subsequent ones, you'd have thought he was a member of royalty!  lol  Also, that professional cake is probably for the cameras, they may have a smaller one if they have a family birthday celebration without us watching. 

[jodo]

I liked how Zoey said "up please" to Jen!  First time I have heard please!!!!

 

I do notice we heard about Will's growth in height but not in weight....chuckle chuckle.... 

[Absolom]

At four Will is the same height as grandson is at two and grandson is short for his age. I was listening for the weight, too, to compare. I'm guessing Will outweighs grandson by a few pounds. I don't think Jen is going to let Will get too far away from his height percentile on the weight percentile.

[all4mom]

As Jen put it: "Will has learned that, after a meal, he WANTS dessert."  MO, Jen; he has learned that, after a meal, he GETS dessert -- and so, apparently, has Zoey (Bill: "These kids know what dessert is!")   She's going to have to reverse the policy SHE HERSELF set when, in the beginning, she placated his every whimper with food, and back-pedaling at this late date won't be easy on any of them.  Jen, like Judy with the chocolates, brought this on herself.

Edited April 25, 2014 by all4mom

[all4mom]

Also troubling... I've heard both Bill and Jen say more than once (I think on this and the last episode), "You have to keep kids entertained!"  Maybe you do if that's what the show's producers tell you to do, but no.  Really, you can just let them play and be kids without micromanaging their every move and directing their actions, and that would be far more entertaining to viewers.  But then, that might not be all about Jen being Super Mom!  This "tea party" was an epic fail and an embarrassment to watch.  It's clear Jen has always had an agenda for Zoey other than sitting back to watch and see who she actually is as an individual.  I'm pulling for her to turn out to be a tomboy and Daddy's girl and love sports and dirt!  I'd also like to hear that they're looking into her type of dwarfism, as she looks basically "average."

Edited April 25, 2014 by all4mom

[all4mom]

"I think Jen needed something to do with Zoey for filming. She's still a bit restricted on public places."  Um, she just flew to CA on a public plane, spoke at a public conference, has eaten out in innumerable public restaurants, gone to a public pediatric clinic (although she wasn't needed there, as Bill said), and topped it off with a trip to a public kids' park with public amusement rides.  I don't call that "restricted."  Jen had to have a tea party because that's Jen's idea of what a perfect mother does with a perfect daughter (I guess Judy wasn't so perfect).  My friends and I used to use cherry Koolade and Necco wafers to play Holy Communion, but we were deprived...  ;)

[jodo]

At four Will is the same height as grandson is at two and grandson is short for his age. I was listening for the weight, too, to compare. I'm guessing Will outweighs grandson by a few pounds. I don't think Jen is going to let Will get too far away from his height percentile on the weight percentile.

 

Well Jen can control his weight percentile but she is not God and can do NOTHING about his height!  LOL  

[all4mom]

Are you sure about that?  haha

[Kohola3]

Loved the tea party as I did the same thing with my goddaughter.  She was about 3 at the time and remembers dressing up.  Maybe if Zoey weren't her natural daughter Jen wouldn't be so eager to do these types of activities but the little girl has only been a part of the family for a short while.  I bet Jen feels like she's trying to catch up on what she missed, not because she feels she's as Super Mom but because life is short (and childhood VERY short) and you hate to miss out on any opportunities especially when you've missed the first two years of your daughter's life.  While Jen is cancer-free right now, there is no guarantee about the future and as a cancer survivor myself I can tell you that's always at the back of your mind. 

 

Both Bill and Jen are still learning parenthood, something most people ease into as they watch the child develop from birth.  Unless you've adopted older children, have been in the same situation, and can compare apples to apples, I think you can't really comment knowledgeably on their methods of handling things.  In my opinion, they are doing a great job and those kids are adjusting beautifully considering the challenges they have faced up until now and the complete change in lifestyle since they were adopted.

[4leafclover]

Well said Kohola3--and I've known many doctors who have been too busy to make time for or have influence in their child's life.  I'm glad that Jen and Zoey had their tea party and both seemed to enjoy it.  As I said upthread, I enjoyed tea parties with my 2 year old granddaughter, probably much more than she did but it was a special time for both of us and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I am impressed with the time both Bill and Jen are spending with their children and I'm sure Will and Zoey will benefit from their influence--actually, they already have!

[DkNNy79]

Great episode.  I have so much respect for Bill and Jen, but I really watch for Will and Zoey.

 

Loved Zoey signaling for Jen to "blow" it up with her.  She must've seen Bill and Will doing that.  Loved her shoving that big piece of red velvet cake in her mouth.  That is totally me.  I was so jealous!  I have a huge sweet tooth. 

 

Will continues to be adorable.  I loved seeing his interaction with Judy, she was so happy to see him.  I hope we get to see more of the kids interactions with their grandparents.  I also noticed that he called Bill "dad" in the beginning.  That was so cute.

[all4mom]

Drawing a tiny pencil mark on the door jamb doesn't take up much "wall space," nor does it require a stud finder (Bill is right over there!), but glad Will got to learn how to use a new tool; he will be a big help to his dad in the future.  I notice that Jen also says she has a pit in her stomach, so sometimes even Jen -- brilliant though she may be -- has a box-of-rocks moment like we mere mortals do.  She definitely seems much more nervous lately, and I would guess that it's because she senses her own failure to "excel" at parenting and dreads the exposure.  This would be on a subconscious level; on a conscious level, sometimes I wonder how she fits her head through said door jamb!  I wonder when Bill's LARGE family will get to meet Zoey?

Edited April 25, 2014 by all4mom

[Ina123]

I agree, Jen meant "wall space" when she said "walls".

 

The only thing wrong about the tea party is Zoey needs to be older. I was a tomboy and thought such things as tea parties and dress up were crap, but I think Zoey is a girlie girl. She just needs to be older for some things Jen would like to do.

 

They may be giving Jen time to recover (hysterectomy,chemo, pneumonia) before jumping into Zoey's medical appointments. Since filming is way ahead of our viewing schedule, they may be making the rounds with Zoey now.

[Jellybeans]

Kohola3, I try not to make posts that simply say "I agree" but you said that very well.

[all4mom]

A genetic test to determine her type of dwarfism is simply a blood test.  She's already been to the doctor in Houston, so I'm not sure why that wasn't done then (assuming it wasn't).  I'm withholding judgment as to whether Zoey is "girly" or not, because I've yet to see anything coming from Zoey herself.   True, she's all decked out in girly clothes, but that would be Jen...  She DOES enjoy imitating Will, however!

Edited April 25, 2014 by all4mom

[walnutqueen]

This would be on a subconscious level; on a conscious level, sometimes I wonder how she fits her head through said door jamb!

 

 

Is that you, Mama Joyce?  ;-)

 

I have many fond memories of having tea with little old ladies when I was a child; I guess you could call them tea parties.  I still have an assortment of beautiful old cup&saucer sets, and a full silver tea service that were last used at a tea party with my nieces.  It's been nearly 2 decades and they still remember those times as fondly as any of the other activities that THEY chose.  The most important thing to those girls was the time I spent with them, not what we did together.  The same holds true of my childhood memories; when I talk to my mom about stuff we did together, some of the things she found memorable I did not, and vice versa.  But what I'll always remember is that a single working mom in the 50s spent time doing stuff with me. 

 

I also was exposed to a horribly dysfunctional relationship and didn't see a "normal" loving couple like Bill and Jen until it was much too late to heal my damaged little psyche, so I think Will and Zoey hit the fucking jackpot.  It must be wonderful to grow up in a home where the two adults aren't at each other's throats and using you as a pawn in their sick twisted negativity.

[all4mom]

Is profanity allowed here?  :)

[4leafclover]

You're right walnutqueen--Zoey may not remember the exact details of her first tea party but over the years, she will remember the feelings of love and belonging she had with her new family.  And that is most important!

[photo fox]

Is profanity allowed here?  :)

Yes, it is. Please read David's posts on the matter.

[all4mom]

Oh, goody!

[Lillybee]

I think one of the reasons that Jen was talking so much to Zoey is that Zoey really doesn't have much English under her belt yet. When the tea party was filmed, they just had Zoey for about four months and Jen was very ill for most of that time. Jen is making sure that Zoey is getting used to English.

[all4mom]

How will we know when Zoey can speak English?  No one else can get a word in edgewise.  I expect her first sentence to be "STFU!"

[letitgo]

My goodness!  Reading this I've come to realize that I must have been a "supermom" too!  Who knew?  My youngest loved tea parties, dress up - all the girly things - and I was happy to oblige her.  Even with "fancy" sandwiches.  Not so difficult if you own a cookie cutter or know how to cut the crusts off and cut them into fingers.  I tried the same with my older daughter - but she was having none of it - wasn't interested in taking tea - so, I learned, as Jen will learn, that if tea parties aren't Zoey's thing, just move along to the next adventure. That's the wonderful thing about parenting - discovering your child - they don't come with manuals.  There will be hits and there will be misses.  At 2 Zoey is young to grasp the idea of "Tea" - but she certainly wasn't suffering or being forced to do something unpleasant.   I'm pretty sure most of it was done for the cameras, anyway. 

[4leafclover]

I shudder to think what people would have said about me if there had been cameras everywhere when we were raising our family!  And if I had heard any of it, I would have been convinced I was the worst mom ever. I guess part of living in the proverbial fishbowl is learning to let other people's opinions roll off your back and just continue doing the best you can do.  As I've said before,  tea party was precious and I'm sure Zoey will get a kick out of watching the film in 20 years when she's in college!

[Absolom]

Well Jen can control his weight percentile but she is not God and can do NOTHING about his height!  LOL

 

I didn't say anything remotely implying Jen would try to control his height.  :)  I said she'd try to keep his weight following the same growth line as his height (in different words). 

[jodo]

Ok, got it and thanks for clarifying!  I am glad Jen is not being deified!

Edited April 26, 2014 by jodo

[4leafclover]

I hope we can have positive input about Jen without being accused of deifying her!  After all, no one here is accusing her detractors of defiling her. 

Edited April 26, 2014 by 4leafclover

[Bella]

You can say whatever you want about Jen, whether that be good, bad, or indifferent.

 

What you can't do is put down or snark on other posters. That includes indirectly, subtly, by implication, etc., etc., etc.

 

It all falls under the overarching site rule: Don't be a dick.

[Honey]

I love absolutely everything about this show and this family.  So glad that Jen got the girly girl she yearned for and Bill got his little buddy (no pun intended).  I'm glad to see that Jen recognized that Will was starting to fixate on food and they are taking steps to correct that.  I adored that tea party scene.  It doesn't matter that Zoey is a bit too young to truly appreciate it, all that matters is that Jen was spending one on one time with her daughter.

 

In my opinion, Bill and Jen are pretty close to perfect parents and I think Bill should give lessons on how to be a husband.

[Marigny]

Well said, Honey! 

[all4mom]

Someone correct me if I'm wrong here, but did Jen not actually endanger Zoey no fewer than three times in this episode?  First she leaves her alone in the kitchen, in front of an open cabinet with who knows what in it, to walk the expensive professional cake lady to the door.  Then she LEADS into the bedroom, carrying the plate full of expensive professionally made tea sandwiches and tea pot filled with hot water (that's what it looked like to me, anyway; yum!), and Zoey gets her right foot caught under the throw rug behind her and nearly trips and goes down with a SPOON in her mouth (!!!); then Jen very ineptly, as she can't physically handle her - even now - puts Zoey in the bed, lays her down, Zoey whimpers, Jen immediately retracts and reverses and starts the "WANT TO READ A BOOK?  A BOOK?  A BOOK?  READ A BOOK?  ZOEY READ A BOOK?" (I'm banging my head against the TV screen by now), then leaves her standing up in the bed with no bed rails to go get a book when, actually, she should've just reiterated "nap time" and stuck to it.  If Zoey won't stay in the bed when she doesn't want to, why doesn't she have bed rails?  Isn't she, like, the size of an average six-month old?  Again in this as in every episode, Bill comes off as the natural parent; Jen is the penultimate unnatural parent (of the year).

[xldb2004]

I did not see Jen endanger Zoey’s life. If that had been the case wouldn’t someone have called child protective services? Yes she left Zoey alone with an open drawer. I am sure there was nothing there that could hurt Zoey. Jen seemed more than capable of carrying a tray of homemade sandwiches (they did not look professionally made to me, and even if they were so what?) The tea was not hot because Jen could stick her finger in it. As for nap time, there is nothing wrong with calming a child down so they go to sleep. She was going to turn the lights off and get a book. Jen knows whether or not Zoey can get out of bed.

[letitgo]

Most moms have an available cupboard full of plastic bowls, etc.  They can entertain toddlers forever.  It looked to me like that is exactly what was in the cupboard.  I saw nothing wrong with Jen walking in front of Zoey when taking the sandwiches into the bedroom - Zoey didn't fall.  You cannot hover over toddlers every second of their lives.  If she did fall, she'd pick herself up and keep going.  It wasn't like she was teetering at the top of a staircase. Likewise, there was no problem with the bed or nap time.    How easy would life for mothers be if toddlers did exactly what they were told the first time.  Of course, those wouldn't be toddlers - they'd be robots.  

Edited April 27, 2014 by Bella
We're not talking about other posters here, directly, indirectly, alone, in groups, etc.

[Lillybee]

I am sure that Zoey was safe being left alone in the kitchen for a minute or two. I remember before they had the home study needed for adopting Will, they hired a baby proofing specialist. I have no children excepting my fur babies at home and quite frankly I have nothing in my bottom cabinets that are dangerous.

[SunShine Gal]

I really liked the tea party. Zoey's too young to understand the whole tea party thing right now, but that's because she's 2. She hasn't experienced much yet. How would Zoey know if she likes tea parties or not? Thinking about it though, what's not to like? Tea. Cookies and little cakes. Wearing cute hats and sunglasses. I was more of a tomboy, but i still loved tea parties.

Edited April 27, 2014 by Bella
Removed statement that indirectly referred to other posters.

[Bella]

Once more, folks:

Do not refer to other posters directly, indirectly, upside down, sideways, inside-out, subtly, by implication, in Ancient Greek, while skydiving, etc., etc., etc.

 

Do. Not. Do. It.

[LegalParrot81]

Zoey was never endangered.  Children play in cupboards and children almost trip, a lot.  If anything it should be remembered, Bill allowed Zoey to stand on the fireplace, where she fell and ended up bleeding rather significantly.  Children trip, fall, bleed.  You can't wrap children in bubble wrap.

Edited April 27, 2014 by LegalParrot81

[Absolom]

I thought the tea party was fine.  Jen let Zoey do her own thing.  She didn't raise a fuss when Zoey didn't want gloves or a boa.  It was a cute little snack with a bit of dress up.  Two year old frequently like to put on a headband, some beads, a blanket, or a hat.  No, she won't remember it long but she seemed to enjoy the time with mama and the attention. 

[jodo]

I agree re the fireplace fiasco.  Bill shouldn't have let her near it in the first place.  She is prone to falling just because she is a toddler of 2 with poor balance but her torso is bigger than her legs like Will I think.     

[4leafclover]

Goodness--children fall, they trip, they climb, they get hurt.  As long as no harm was intentionally done to either child, it shows they are living entirely normal lives.  

[Phoenix]

Jen and Bill are doing an exemplary job of teaching their kids independence and decision making skills.  These are important life skills that will take them far in their lives.  Jen demonstrated this during her precious tea party with Zoey.  She gave her choices and let Zory make those choices without questioning her...like putting the boa and hat on.  Jen also doesn't sweat the small stuff or employ needless disciplinary actions...like when Zoey dropped the napkins purposefully and when Zoey threw the tea gloves on the floor. haha 

 

Jen also is quick witted.  She made the cutest comments during their tea party...like let's go crazy, and yeah, let's class this party up after Zoey did the blow up fist pumps.  And of course Jen did much talking during their little party...if she had not done so, there would have been lots of dead air time and TLC sure doesn't want that for the viewers. 

 

Jen and Bill do not cower over their children either, by being needlessly over-protective.  It's clear the children have a wonderful time playing on their own too, like Zoey was doing in the kitchen drawer. 

[EmmeRose]

Zoey was not left alone with the cabinets and pots and pans.  The TLC crew was there and I am sure if Kate was not there, the producers watch her!

[jodo]

True we know the production crew is there to help them.  I am sure that is who helped Jen get Will up and out of the garage area near the cars that time...we never did see or hear how she resolved that one.  And I am damned sure the production crew made the sandwich/fruit tray!  Because here is what they could have done to make it more special is have Jen and Zoey prepare the sandwiches together with cookie cutters, that would have been cute especially watching Zoey eat as she goes like Will did with the cupcake making! 

[all4mom]

Will was ADORABLE decorating those cupcakes with Bill.  BOOM!  And Bill was all chill, just enjoying him.  Too bad "Mommy and Zoey Time" couldn't have been making a cake for Will's birthday, but that wouldn't be Jen's style, now would it?  Besides, by her own admission, she's "not big enough" to bake a cake, although she's "big enough" to save micro-preemie babies.

Edited April 28, 2014 by all4mom

[jodo]

That episode of Bill and Will preparing those cupcakes was my all time fave one, I rewatch it regularly and love Will's grin and he looks super cute with his hair parted on the side, like a little man!

 

Well if Jen says she isn't big enough to bake a cake then why did she make that statement "Mama didn't make cake today"....or she must have meant BUY not make...LOL

[all4mom]

It's like "Will has learned that, after dinner, he WANTS dessert."  Mo, Jen; Will has learned that, after dinner, he GETS dessert!  Jen misspeaks occasionally; I'm sure it's not to intentionally mislead, spin, or create a false impression, however. 

[jodo]

That is true, she isn't always clear with what she means...."I wish we had more walls"  over to Bill "um we have four...."  I hope she is clearer saving lives.....

[all4mom]

"I have a pit in my stomach"...  Just sayin'!  Although, to be fair, we also had Bill "brooming" the floor in this episode, so who knows?  Good luck learning English, kids...

Edited April 28, 2014 by all4mom