GH Quotes: Even Bad Writers Hit Upon Good Ones

[MSquared]

My absolute favor, bar none, from GH is (paraphrasing because it's been years): 

 

Alexis:  A very dry martini.  Pour the gin and visualize the vermouth.  

[LeftPhalange]

I hate Brenda and love Carly but the way VM says "That girl" in refernece to Carly was always funny to me.

[BetteBoo]

Jerry Jax to Luke after being poisoned: "It turns out having your organs shut down hurts like a bitch....who knew?"

[BetteBoo]

Faison to Olbrecht: "I want you to do something for me"... Leisl: "Ze Clampssss? Faison: "Wear the mask....."..

 

LOL, Winner and still champ: the coldest line in daytime......

[Tiger]

Faison: "I did it for yooooouuuu, Anna!"

Robert: "Shut it ya phoney bastard!"

Lucky: ". . . rutting like farm animals."

Edited April 15, 2014 by Tiger

[Patssy Stoned]

"Your insults are as weak as your pharmacy-bought perfume"

 

Dr. O to Anna

[dubbel zout]

Paraphrasing Alexis, to Ric: "I've had both of you, and yours is bigger."

[UYI]

Carly to Liz after Liz claimed that she and Jason made a miracle in Jake:

 

"You made a baby, any bitch in heat can do that." 

 

A little harsh, and yet still kind of funny. 

[OnceSane]

Helena Cassadine: They don't keep people like us in hell, dear; we'd end up running the place.

 

Helena (to Felicia):  Discussing strategy with you would be like playing chess with a sugar bowl.

[TarHeelTeacher]

"I don't want Carly. I never have."   -  Julian (As a Carly hater from the day that trollop got off the bus in PC, I cheered.)

 

 "Sweetheart, I never imagined, I never imagined that I would find you." - Julian

 

"Happiness is for dogs and Americans." - Dr. Liesl Obrecht

[DiamondDoll]

Ned: "Lois wasn't responsible for Sonny. Sonny just happened, like a natural disaster!" One of the funniest and truest lines in GH history. Ned's Sonny hate warms my heart.

[Tiger]

"I'll die before I let you make Carly a widow" - Sonny "crypt!sex" Corinthos, circa 2002.

Edited June 9, 2014 by Tiger

[dubbel zout]

Sonny had a lot of head-scratchers like that; remember "I haven't heard from Morgan since the last time we talked"?

[Chairperson Meow]

Sonny, to Ava- "Tell Kiki she'll be dining alone, and you'll be dining.....in hell!"

[ParadoxLost]

So, I've embarked on a journey to go through four giant drawers of unlabeled VHS tapes (and yes at some point I bought a combo player just to figure out what the heck I still had laying around).  First tape, the Bacchanalia May 1998

 

Ned to Katherine: "Oh, by the way, I had the pleasure of meeting your housekeeper.  Ah, Mrs. Landsbury, I believe.  She spoke very highly of you.  I take it she hasn't tried to poison you yet."

 

referring to that time Reginald poisoned her and AJ covered it up.

 

Katherine to Stefan referring to a note he wrote to Laura: "I'm giving Nikolas the mother he deserves."

 

Ew. considering that Nikolas and Katherine were engaged before Stefan and Katherine.

 

Then Kat went splat.

Edited June 18, 2014 by ParadoxLost

[MSquared]

Man, I loved Ned snark, in anyone, especially Katherine.

[Melgaypet]

How about some Helena snark on Katherine? Two examples:

 

"Katherine Bell is as common as ditch water."

 

"I wonder if it was was wise to disown [Alexis] just for hurting the feelings of that bovine tramp you call a mistress."

[TeeVee329]

Alexis: Let's see, you're here to wreak havoc on someone's life. I wonder on who.

Helena: Whom.

[dubbel zout]

I LOVE it when characters correct other characters' grammar.

[Tiger]

Speaking of that "great woman", I loved when she dismissively told Sonny, "we once had a gardener named Corinthos".

 

Does anyone remember Carly's line to Kannie about coming to town with a fake name?

Edited June 26, 2014 by Tiger

[dubbel zout]

Carly's one to talk about fake names. She wasn't honest about hers when she blew into PC.

[Chairperson Meow]

Isn't her real name Reece?

[BestestAuntEver]

Isn't her real name Reece?

I believe it's Caroline.

Wasn't Reece the name of her best friend growing up? I know Reece was a character on the show. I admit to tuning out to some of the things with the Reece/Carly background.c

[MSquared]

I believe it's Caroline.

Wasn't Reece the name of her best friend growing up? I know Reece was a character on the show. I admit to tuning out to some of the things with the Reece/Carly background.c

 

Caroline is Carly's real name.  It's how her Uncle Luke refers to her when he's himself.

[dubbel zout]

Carly came to town as Carly Roberts; her real last name was Benson. Carly Roberts is from the high school friend who died in a car crash (though Carly is a decent nickname for Caroline).

[Chairperson Meow]

Well who the heck is Reece?

On topic: Maxie today "I like shopping."

One line, just explains everything about the character,

[OnceSane]

 

Well who the heck is Reece?

 

I'm taking my response to the history thread.

[ParadoxLost]

A few zingers from Sonny's # 1 fan:

 

Skye:  Oh, Sonny. I'm sorry, I didn't see you down there. I'm wearing heels today.

 

Skye:  Sonny and that trashy wife of his have all the class of a couple of inbred hillbillies.

 

Skye [to Sonny]:  Calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas.

 

Skye: Sonny? That greaseball would repel a maggot.

[formerlyfreedom]

I miss Skye.

[Rick Kitchen]

Felix to Brad: "I'm going to give you the gift of a fist to the face and the card attached will say sit your ass down."

[Lillybee]

Olivia to Sonny, "You can't unscrew Ava".

[Chairperson Meow]

Sonny "Don't shoot! The baby on board might be mine!"

[UYI]

Alexis to Sonny, at her sister Kristina's funeral in 2002:

 

"I'm afraid we haven't made our Sonny very happy, but not to worry, no one ever has. But many have died trying. Do you think you're the only person who understands family? My family, the Cassadines, were staging deadly vendettas, while your ancestors were working our fields with the other peasants." 

[ulkis]

A few zingers from Sonny's # 1 fan:

 

Skye:  Oh, Sonny. I'm sorry, I didn't see you down there. I'm wearing heels today.

 

 

When did that line happen?!

[ulkis]

Spinelli: Like a modern day Jean Valjean, only more heroic, Stone Cold has been unfairly incarcerated. Monsieur Les Mis stole a loaf of bread to ease his suffering, but Stone Cold's only crime was to selflessly surrender himself to the gods of incarceration to protect another, in this case young sir.

 

Just sharing my pain with you all

[dubbel zout]

Spinelli was always especially insufferable when it came to the imagined persecutions of Jason. 

[ulkis]

Spinelli was always especially insufferable when it came to the imagined persecutions of Jason. 

 

That line made me clutch my head in agony. The only thing Jean Valjean and Jason had in common is neither of them ever had sex.

[SlovakPrincess]

Why why WHY did Spinelli exist?! I guess I should thank the current writers for getting rid if him, at least. Listening to any of Spinelli's dialogue was like taking an ice pick to the eardrum.

[testardo]

Thank goodness Spins gone.That poor baby Georgie would have to lose either way. Spin or Dunkledoofus. Poor baby. MAxie needs to wake up kick Levi to the curb go get her daughter and take her to Mac.

[BetteBoo]

Lisa Niles to a patient looking for Dr Drake: "we have two Dr Drakes. Patrick and..what's the name? Parakeet? Canary? Ah yes...Vulture.

[Rick Kitchen]

Victor Cassidine: "Never trust a Cassidine."  At least bro owns it.

[DollEyes]

Bumping it up with some of the highlights from Michael's long-overdue confrontation with Sonny about AJ's murder: "I'm not your son, and you're not my father! AJ was my father....all those years, you and Mom kept me from him, you poisoned me against him....I was a pawn! You hated AJ and you used me, his own son, against him. You didn't care what you did to me. You cost me my whole life with my real father. [points gun at Sonny] And now, I'm gonna make you pay."

 

Another gem from Michael, re Sonny's asking him to put his gun down: Or what-you gonna shoot me like you shot Dante?"

[dubbel zout]

Franco, to Shawn: "Sonny's not going to ride to the rescue, Shawn. I texted him from your phone, and I let him know: 'Franco's a goner.' Isn't that clever? And then your provider called. Apparently you're almost out of data." 

[Chairperson Meow]

From Heather : "Franco, you can't let me die here. ....with these people."

Franco: "Don't do that again. I will shoot her. And she's beautiful. "

[Tiger]

Ava to Michael: "I gave birth to a baby girl; your sister or your niece."

[ch1]

AJ to Sonny/Carly:  "The only thing worse than you as a father, is her as a mother."  Loved that line.  AJ's return was so awesome in the beginning.

[dubbel zout]

Ava to Michael: "I gave birth to a baby girl; your sister or your niece."

 

Such a classic soapy line!

[Chairperson Meow]

Another great AJ line. To Ava after learning she framed him for Connie's murder: "I bet you felt like God with my life in your hands. Did you enjoy watching me crawl back into the bottle? Losing everything? Micheal? My mom? "

[Lillybee]

Michael to Sonny after putting the gun down "This is the last mercy you will ever get from me".

[Chairperson Meow]

Micheal to Dante "Do your damn job!" Meaning arrest Sonny.