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All Episodes Talk: All Rise


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I'm thankful for Slim/Shady Shadi and Business Barbie, because they engendered some of the finest snark I've seen here, well, this week anyway!

 

Does Barbie not realize that someone she picks up online could be a total nutcase? I mean, a dangerous nut instead of just a ridiculous one like Shadi? I have a feelilng it's not the first time she's accepted gifts from perfect strangers and then dumped the chumps. The next time she may choose a serious stalker who WILL destroy her life,  or a serial killer. I can't believe the chances these women take. Is it really worth it for a new bag and a party?

 

I must rewatch this, if only to hear 1970s Lounge Lizard Shadi say "Buuuurr-day" multiple times.

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I paused the Reverse Side Swiping guy's letter from the insurance company; sure enough, he'd renewed his lapsed policy 30 minutes after he'd hit six cars. Comedy gold.

I'd love to have heard his conversation with the insurance company :)

 

 

According to the caption, Barbie works as a medical equipment sales representative

Oh, my. John Oliver did a piece on drug company reps; I imagine this is similar.

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(edited)

I'm thankful for Slim/Shady Shadi and Business Barbie, because they engendered some of the finest snark I've seen here, well, this week anyway!

Does Barbie not realize that someone she picks up online could be a total nutcase? I mean, a dangerous nut instead of just a ridiculous one like Shadi? I have a feelilng it's not the first time she's accepted gifts from perfect strangers and then dumped the chumps. The next time she may choose a serious stalker who WILL destroy her life, or a serial killer. I can't believe the chances these women take. Is it really worth it for a new bag and a party?

I must rewatch this, if only to hear 1970s Lounge Lizard Shadi say "Buuuurr-day" multiple times.

Amen to that, AngelaHunter. I'm not averse to snarking about Business Barbie but I'd hate to see her case profiled on 48 Hours (my second favorite show after JJ).

Or Dateline! Can you imagine Keith Morrison narrating the sad story? (shudder)

Edited by Intocats
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(edited)

Stephanidiot - Oh boy.  What an ungrateful, uncouth sister this one was, and with attitude!  She kept making faces and hoping she would bowl over JJ with her forceful lies.  Did you guys know litigants get an IQ test before appearing?  Well -  after this one, they will.  Every answer she gave perplexed JJ with its naked stupidity.  Too stupid to realize how stupid she sounds.  The morale of the story: "I won't borrow anymore money" - and the plaintiff waxing poetic about loving her loser sister, while the loser sister vowed to withdraw from her.  Almost 4 gavels because the defendant was so daft, but losing some because it's just a loan/assault/drenched-laptop case.

 

Angry!  Defendant! - Shooting! Lasers! With her angry eyes!  She is Morally Superior! Hate! She has a toddler!  Never again!  Two! Gavels!

 

Broombeard - At first the plaintiffs didn't look too good with their bizarre relationships with cash, checks and bank account, and amounts that changed.  Lucky for them it wasn't sushi Tuesday and JJ took the time to make a phone call... which was bad news for the broombeard defendant.  Two broomsticks.

 

Mouth Shrapnel - Please!  Someone call a plastic surgeon!  The plaintiff has buckshot in her right eyebrow, and shrapnel on the left of her mouth!  This case has great names, Candi Justice vs. Ms Byrd.  Sorry I have to bring up wigs; the plaintiff's hard plastic bangs were so low you couldn't see her eyes at all, and the false eyelashes made a dinging sound every time they bashed into it.  Another idiot defendant with no excuses and an attitude.  So the secret shopper check bounced, surprising no one.  Three shards, plus one extra gavel for the visuals.

 

Mini-Case - Judge Judy: "You can't keep the cheque!"  Defendant: "hehehehehehehe"  Two gavels for efficiency.

Edited by Toaster Strudel
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My guess is that she was supressing an Australian accent.

 

Shadi: "Do I look like I need to buy love?" YES. Clearly, yes.

I yelled 'YES!" at my TV when he said that.  lol

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Was Googly Eyes in a blue blazer/Pixie hairdo sitting behind Stephanidiot's older sister?  It appears to be her, but she looks younger and thinner.

 

In the second case, Margarita, who should not live with a devoutly religious roommate, said she moved in January 22nd, "two thousand-fifteenth." January 22nd, 2015th. But the real comedy was in the hallterview...."I'm not making anything UP." {eyeroll/neckroll combo} "NEVER AGAIN."

 

I couldn't even look at Broombeard. That bristly, wiry stuff was too distracting.

 

Sorry I have to bring up wigs; the plaintiff's hard plastic bangs were so low you couldn't see her eyes at all, and the false eyelashes made a dinging sound every time they bashed into it.

Ms. Byrd has no interest in seeing anything....and I'm not just talking about her refusal to see the truth. She obviously doesn't value the gift of sight, since she goes to such lengths to obscure her vision with synthetic hair.  Ms. Justice was the complete opposite, with panoramic grampa glasses.

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The plaintiff has buckshot in her right eyebrow, and shrapnel on the left of her mouth!

 

Is that what it was? I thought she had gotten into an altercation with a porcupine on her way to court. The defendant? So utterly and completely lacking in the most minimal number of brain cells she nearly gave JJ an aneurism. What did she spend the money on? Well, a new wig, piercings and eyelashes, among other necessities I assume. I always enjoy seeing the people who fall for online scams. They really think the hiring department of a legit company just sends out random mass emails to total strangers, offering them money. I get those emails all the time and when I check the source, they're all from Nigeria.

 

What an ungrateful, uncouth sister this one was, and with attitude!

 

I'm envious of her. Seriously! She's dumb, conniving, can't pay her bills and has arms like Hulk Hogan with tats yet is arrogant!  It IS enviable, IMO.

 

Broombeard

 

Potential JJ litigants need to know that if they have neck tats and a billy goat beard, they lose. This character showed us why the minute he opened his stupid mouth. Yes, plaintiff is pretty stupid and dumb, giving 3K in CASH to a virtual stranger. Normally I'd have no sympathy, but the Billy Goat annoyed me more than plaintiff, so I'm glad she won.

 

Mrs. LeBleu, nearly ex-wife who kept the insurance cheque - I can see why Mr. LeBleu is divorcing her. I guess he couldn't take that moronic triple-chinned smiley thing she does when caught in a scam. Shame - too many people doesn't has it.

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Question: Who actually pays the judgements ?  When a case is lost does the 'loser' actually have to pay the judgement ?  If 'no'  then why does the loser care, it's no money out of their pockets.

 

Does my question make sense ?

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I, too, was puzzled at the splitting hairs aspect of cashing the check versus withdrawing the money from her account. The end result was the same.

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Does anyone know why the litigants aren't allowed to take their paperwork with them when they leave the courtroom ?

Because they're just props?

 

Seriously I've noticed that too, and I have no idea. They take their crap with them on People's Court.

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(edited)
Quote

they do that so they can videotape all of the evidence / paperwork in case they have to splice it in later.  Kind of makes sense.

 

Right. That's what I read, that often the closeups we see of documents JJ is reading are taped after the show is over. It would be very awkward to have a cameraman come up and film it over her shoulder while the case is going on.

Edited by AngelaHunter
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Ooooh, I want to be Judge Judy's hand model. A friend of my mother's was Julia Child's hand model for close ups for a while. I'd muster all my contempt and righteous indignation and let my hands show subtle emotions while holding said paperwork.

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Was Googly Eyes in a blue blazer/Pixie hairdo sitting behind Stephanidiot's older sister? It appears to be her, but she looks younger and thinner.

In the second case, Margarita, who should not live with a devoutly religious roommate, said she moved in January 22nd, "two thousand-fifteenth." January 22nd, 2015th. But the real comedy was in the hallterview...."I'm not making anything UP." {eyeroll/neckroll combo} "NEVER AGAIN."

I couldn't even look at Broombeard. That bristly, wiry stuff was too distracting.

Ms. Byrd has no interest in seeing anything....and I'm not just talking about her refusal to see the truth. She obviously doesn't value the gift of sight, since she goes to such lengths to obscure her vision with synthetic hair. Ms. Justice was the complete opposite, with panoramic grampa glasses.

Margarita's roommate was kicked out by her boyfriend, but days later she's cooking dinner for him at his place? JJ missed something there. Also roommate looked like a skinny Alannis Morrisette/Casey Anthony cross.

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It's just weird giving so much cash to a broombeard.  It's suspicious.

 

Yes. That, plus the fact that she couldn't get her story straight about her brother sending cash or a cheque was suspicious. Personally I would find a responsible adult who cashes a cheque and then stashes 3K in cash around the house (theft, fire, flood - they happen!) to be even more suspicious. That makes absolutely no sense, unless she has a good reason for keeping money out of her bank account.

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Was Googly Eyes in a blue blazer/Pixie hairdo sitting behind Stephanidiot's older sister? It appears to be her, but she looks younger and thinner.

In the second case, Margarita, who should not live with a devoutly religious roommate, said she moved in January 22nd, "two thousand-fifteenth." January 22nd, 2015th. But the real comedy was in the hallterview...."I'm not making anything UP." {eyeroll/neckroll combo} "NEVER AGAIN."

I couldn't even look at Broombeard. That bristly, wiry stuff was too distracting.

Ms. Byrd has no interest in seeing anything....and I'm not just talking about her refusal to see the truth. She obviously doesn't value the gift of sight, since she goes to such lengths to obscure her vision with synthetic hair. Ms. Justice was the complete opposite, with panoramic grampa glasses.

Last time I saw a mouthful like that was on the incredible Dr Pol, a dog tangled with a porcupine, can't imagine someone would do that voluntarily.

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I was suspicious about the plaintiff as well AngelaHunter. But then I figured JJ probably got some of the family history and the background of the woman from the brother when she spoke with him on the phone. For all her caustic and judgemental ways, JJ can be sympathetic to those she views as having "issues".

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(edited)

Margarita's roommate was kicked out by her boyfriend, but days later she's cooking dinner for him at his place? JJ missed something there. Also roommate looked like a skinny Alannis Morrisette/Casey Anthony cross.

Word, iwasish. I wondered about the whole boyfriend thing myself.

But I was really scratching my head over how or why these two women became friends in the first place..

Edited by Intocats
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Margarita's roommate was kicked out by her boyfriend, but days later she's cooking dinner for him at his place? JJ missed something there.

 

Being kicked out is nothing. We've seen women here who have had lamps thrown at their heads and been beaten to pulps by their Prince Charmings "prehand", and still had to be thrown out.

 

"It is what it is" -- twice!  ::drinks::

 

That is shorthand for, "I'm a lying liar who lies and I lost."  There should be signs made up for them to hold, so we don't have hear that moronic "It is...." crap.

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Yes. That, plus the fact that she couldn't get her story straight about her brother sending cash or a cheque was suspicious. Personally I would find a responsible adult who cashes a cheque and then stashes 3K in cash around the house (theft, fire, flood - they happen!) to be even more suspicious. That makes absolutely no sense, unless she has a good reason for keeping money out of her bank account.

I was wondering if she had auto-payments set up for some of her bills, and she was afraid that her brother's money would have been snatched up by the electric or phone company.... She admitted to being lax about managing her bank account. Or maybe she gets government aid (SNAP card for food) and was nervous that an increase in her funds would jeopardize her aid.  (It's not like they check....look at all the people scamming the system for free food, etc.  But maybe she didn't want to raise any suspicions.)

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Or maybe she gets government aid (SNAP card for food) and was nervous that an increase in her funds would jeopardize her aid.

 

It has to be something along those lines. There's no other reason for someone who has a bank account (and nothing to hide) to stash cash under the mattress. If she was afraid it would get used up accidentally in her chequing account, all she had to do was spend five minutes to open a savings account and let it sit there. At least it would collect interest, as pathetically miniscule as that is these days, but better than she'd get with it stuffed into her underwear drawer.

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You guys are probably right.  If the government were to look at her bank account, she might lose something.

 

But her daughter is given $3,000 for car?  And how is she going to keep up with gas, repairs, insurance, license, etc.?  Mom can't do it.

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(edited)

 

Personally I would find a responsible adult who cashes a cheque and then stashes 3K in cash around the house (theft, fire, flood - they happen!) to be even more suspicious. That makes absolutely no sense, unless she has a good reason for keeping money out of her bank account.

Well then I must be one of those suspicious people. I work an occasional extra job and keep that money hidden in my house. I call it my slush fund and it's designated for something other than household stuff - over the last few years I've used it for extensive dental work or when the dog had an unexpected expensive vet visit as well as for fun stuff like the occasional small shopping spree. I keep it separate so I don't spend it. I also write out all my checks for the next months' bills a month ahead of time because if I don't I'll spend the money. I totally understood what the plaintiff was doing - (mine stems from financial issues during a divorce). 

 

I don't know what commercials y'all get but during my JJ I get commercials for "The General" which is an online insurance company for people with lots of accidents or tickets where a person can get insurance coverage the same day online. I was trying to figure out whether that defendant had gone to "The General" and "saved some time" getting insurance after the fact. 

 

I must have been in a mood but I wanted to slap nearly all of the rest of the litigants yesterday - Ms. Thang with her long bangs, tarantula eyelashes and bad check, the POS sister with the bad attitude and even Mr. Rico Suave who looked like he wanted to whisk the defendant away to his harem somewhere

Edited by ItsHelloPattiagain
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You guys are probably right.  If the government were to look at her bank account, she might lose something.

 

But her daughter is given $3,000 for car?  And how is she going to keep up with gas, repairs, insurance, license, etc.?  Mom can't do it.

Insurance? License? Who spends money on that? Not  in Judge Judy's courtroom.

You guys are probably right.  If the government were to look at her bank account, she might lose something.

 

But her daughter is given $3,000 for car?  And how is she going to keep up with gas, repairs, insurance, license, etc.?  Mom can't do it.

Insurance? License? Who spends money on that? Not  in Judge Judy's courtroom.

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Stormy Pearl - This case has everything.  An out of control tatted up guest nicknamed "Dirty," old disabled ladies wielding metal baseball bats, chemical burns, fracking (I am not kidding - this case has fracking), tossed out litigants, dog bites, scratched children, referring to JJ as "Miss Judy," my pet peeve "high rate of speed" over and over, fake accidents and fake ambulance chasers, a trailer park with a huge dumpster in the middle, litigants shouting out "Amen!" and last but not least, 5 gavels.

 

More to come.  I had to rush and share that one.

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Stormy Pearl - This case has everything.  An out of control tatted up guest nicknamed "Dirty," old disabled ladies wielding metal baseball bats, chemical burns, fracking (I am not kidding - this case has fracking), tossed out litigants, dog bites, scratched children, referring to JJ as "Miss Judy," my pet peeve "high rate of speed" over and over, fake accidents and fake ambulance chasers, a trailer park with a huge dumpster in the middle, litigants shouting out "Amen!" and last but not least, 5 gavels.

 

More to come.  I had to rush and share that one.

 

Can't wait to see how fracking gets dragged into this.

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Stormy Pearl - This case has everything.  An out of control tatted up guest nicknamed "Dirty," old disabled ladies wielding metal baseball bats, chemical burns, fracking (I am not kidding - this case has fracking), tossed out litigants, dog bites, scratched children, referring to JJ as "Miss Judy," my pet peeve "high rate of speed" over and over, fake accidents and fake ambulance chasers, a trailer park with a huge dumpster in the middle, litigants shouting out "Amen!" and last but not least, 5 gavels.

 

More to come.  I had to rush and share that one.

oh oh...looking forward to this beauty!

 

Ms. Byrd with the Halloween caliber wig and the eyelashes needed 'proof' that the check was bad, and didn't get that the bank notification was proof.  lol  I just wanted to slap her silly.  What a bitch.  Same with the younger sister.  All those faces she was making made me want to jump through the screen and throttle her.  ugh. 

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Cancer, Clothes & CDs - Cases with dead people are not my favorites, this one involves a family quarreling with a friend of the deceased over clothes and CDs.  I can't make fun of that, these are people in the fog of mourning, they can't see the forest from the trees.  The plaintiff seemed upset because the deceased looked forward to going back home (which didn't happen), and the defendant had permission to have a garage sale for some of her stuff.  Unfortunately she can't be a witness anymore.  Two sad gavels.

 

Spoonfed Repo - I am giving this one 4 gavels not because it's an interesting case (it isn't), but because it's a perfect example of the mental tango that JJ dances with her unsuspecting victims.  The plaintiff said nothing. The defendant was destroyed.  Blow by blow.  Just like I would be if I attempted to play chess against Kasparov.

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Well then I must be one of those suspicious people. I work an occasional extra job and keep that money hidden in my house.

 

I'm too scared to keep more than 80$ or so dollars in my house. For sure I'd never keep 3K. For one thing if I hid it I'd spend the rest of my life looking for it, unless I put up stickies saying, "Money in freezer." e.g. in which case hiding it is kind of pointless.

 

A 5 gavel case? A witness named "Dirty"?? Such sights as have never been seen. I'm drooling at the thought!

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The plaintiff said nothing. The defendant was destroyed.  Blow by blow.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE these! 

Home long enough to set the DVR.  Can NOT miss a 5-gaveler!! From what's included in the description, it sounds like a 60-minute case.

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I'm too scared to keep more than 80$ or so dollars in my house. For sure I'd never keep 3K. For one thing if I hid it I'd spend the rest of my life looking for it, unless I put up stickies saying, "Money in freezer." e.g. in which case hiding it is kind of pointless.

 

A 5 gavel case? A witness named "Dirty"?? Such sights as have never been seen. I'm drooling at the thought!

 

My college roommate used to rummage through my belongings looking for money, my checkbook, etc. For the longest time she thought I kept a diary into which I wrote nasty stuff about her (it was a pocket calendar thing into which I used to write when library books were due, when papers were due, when test dates, boyfriend phone numbers, etc.) Anyhow, she never found where I kept my Emergency emergency $50.

 

Just a thought, does Toaster mean "fracking" as in the natural gas drilling procedure or does Toaster mean "fracking" as in original Battle Star Galactica "fracking"?

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Stormy Pearl -

 

You weren't whistling Dixie here, Toaster.

 

This entire cast of "The Hills have Eyes" type mutants gives trailer folk a really bad name. "Stormy Pearl"? Isn't that the kind of name you'd hear at a really seedy titty bar? Mr. House, one of the most irritating little worms ever seen here, seems to make his living by being conveniently injured all the time. They have three children - three ill-fated children. Poor kids.

 

Bat-wielding disabled plaintiff? I nearly keeled over when she said she's 59. How can someone 59 look 85? It's terrifying.  But yeah, if my neighbours are involved in a public altercation (not they ever are because they're not vile trash) my first reaction is to rise from my sick bed and go charging over with a baseball bat in hand because I feel it's my duty.

 

Spoonfed Repo

 

Roman, overly pumped, thick-headed, oily asshole - I hate you. He called everyone he knows,  including Daddy,  after his stupid truck got repo'd because he seems to spend all his money on steroids but didn't ask anyone for money except his casual booty call? I really hope the plaintiff learned a lesson, but I'm not hopeful.

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Toaster Strudel, you are so right about the rich smorgasbord that was Case #1! I wonder if David House, who hurls himself at cars, is making good money off of his janitorial-fracking accident.  I noticed how he blamed his manager for having a caustic chemical in his area....wonder what the manager's side of the story is. I'd think David was supposed to be aware of the MSDS info, as most industrial facilities workers have to be. I thought that he was having druggie twitching until he said it was a neurological condition. Either way, dude needs to lay off the smokes, and Stormy Pearl....well, whatever she's on; she needs to admit it and quit it.

 

So, David has a friend named "Dirty," and the plaintiff's witness looked like he just stumbled out of a crack den and took a long walk in the City Dump. The defendant's witness actually snorted after JJ yelled for her to GET OUT!  She snorted.  What the....these people are such five gavelers! Should I be concerned that their town is about an hour from mine?  I'll be sure to lock my car doors if I ever have to drive through Lakeland, FL.  After the case, I wonder if JJ made the interns Lysol the place down to get the smell of cigs, booze breath, and stale fast food out of the court room.

 

In the tragic case of the deceased sister's goods that were sold in a garage sale, both sides mentioned the late-woman's daughter who was present during conversations about possible garage sales. I wonder why the daughter wasn't used as a witness to prove or disprove that her mother greenlighted a garage sale. Maybe she didn't want any part of the drama. Anyway, JJ went easy on the siblings -- the woman called JJ "Judy," and JJ seemed to let it slide.

 

In the case of the Spoonfed Repo, that guy was a lying dolt. Tosha was a pretty girl with lovely features; someone needs to give her some eyebrow help.  I don't mean that in a cruel way -- I can only imagine how I would botch my brows if I had to draw them on. It can't be easy. 

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Angela, between the page of a book (amidst lots of books) is a very good hiding place, indeed.

My MIL did this and when she passed we spent days going through the 100's of books in her house. We were afraid to donate anything before looking.

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I'm too scared to keep more than 80$ or so dollars in my house. For sure I'd never keep 3K. For one thing if I hid it I'd spend the rest of my life looking for it, unless I put up stickies saying, "Money in freezer." e.g. in which case hiding it is kind of pointless.

 

True story: I hid a hundred a 100-dollar bill in a boot, forgot it, and only found it like, a year-and-a-half later. I was literally walking on money and didn't know it!

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What the....these people are such five gavelers! Should I be concerned that their town is about an hour from mine?

 

Be afraid...be very afraid. I would be if these freaks lived anywhere close enough to me that we breathe the same air. Holy shit.

 

Money hiding: I once got a cash gift of $300 at work, in a card. Well, guess what? I threw the card with the money out and had to sift through an entire bag of garbage to retrieve it. A couple years ago I was going through papers and old cards to toss them and a $50 bill dropped out. Me & cash = bad combination.

 

Tosha was a pretty girl with lovely features; someone needs to give her some eyebrow help.

 

Someone, somewhere must sell eyebrow stencils to avoid that cockeyed look when women draw them on. And why are eyebrows being shaved off and then drawn on anyway? I never got that. Plucking isn't nearly as much trouble.

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I'm too scared to keep more than 80$ or so dollars in my house. For sure I'd never keep 3K. For one thing if I hid it I'd spend the rest of my life looking for it, unless I put up stickies saying, "Money in freezer." e.g. in which case hiding it is kind of pointless.

I have mine all hidden in a random place (and I told my grown married daughter where I hid in just in case). A few years back my daughter called me and she needed some papers which she had left in her closet at my house - she must have had a photographic memory because she knew exactly where the papers were as well as a bunch of hoarded cash in old purses and notebooks. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess. And she also has an Emergency $50 hidden in her wallet lol.

 

Oh, I'm off to watch the Stormy Pearl case with baited breath!

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Cancer, Clothes & CDs - Cases with dead people are not my favorites, this one involves a family quarreling with a friend of the deceased over clothes and CDs.  I can't make fun of that, these are people in the fog of mourning, they can't see the forest from the trees.  The plaintiff seemed upset because the deceased looked forward to going back home (which didn't happen), and the defendant had permission to have a garage sale for some of her stuff.  Unfortunately she can't be a witness anymore.  Two sad gavels.

 

I agree, Toaster. Cases with dead people are so unsnarkable. Does anyone remember the case a couple of years ago where the grieving widow and the grieving mother were fighting over a life insurance payout? I believe the deceased was a professional jockey who committed suicide. It was the saddest JJ case I've ever seen.

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Did anyone catch the 2011 repeat featuring the Martin family of Virginia? It was a JJ fiesta of unpaid rent, teenaged bride, bad teeth, dinner at Red Lobster, online college and JJ telling the stepmother to stay the hell out of the way. I was waiting to hear about a fresh roadkill pie with dumplings, but it's only a half hour program.

 

JJ and Byrd were cracking up at the antics of Mr. Martin the father and seemed quite charmed by him. He, of course, prevailed. In the hallterview, Sonny Martin and his 17-year-old wife expressed their disappointment at losing, but he conceded that his father was the finest man who ever lived, "since the crucifixion and resurrection of my Lord", and gave Daddy a big hug.  Awww!!

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