All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[teebax]

When Dr. Oz initially moved to the station, nothing could interrupt it. Interrupt JJ, sure, but Oz was untouchable.

 

 

I didn't understand that either. But the way the bride was giving JJ the stink-eye leads me to believe there was something in their sworn statement that JJ didn't like.

I'm a bit late to this discussion (much like the bride and groom were late to their own wedding). I don't t think the bride emphasized that point enough. If the limo was late to begin with, then the clock should have started when it arrived. It may not have mattered since everyone was running on CP time (I can say that because they're my people too). 

[Toaster Strudel]

Tasty Samaritan: Let that be a lesson.  If two dogs (that belong to a total stranger) want to go at it and devour each other, I say let them, it's survival of the fittest and take the opportunity to wager a few bucks on the champion of your choice.  If the dog walker looks like a beautiful, helpless, lovely angel in distress, don't be fooled, she's probably an irresponsible cretin in disguise. If you get bit trying to separate the canine devils, you'll have to drag the owner to court to have your medical expenses paid.  Lesson learned.  Helicopter pilot, though, sexy, sexy profession.

 

Romance Cooke: Oh my, what a spoiled, entitled brat, oh, the overly dramatic eyerolls.  Sure, JJ admonished her to stop playing with that horsehair wig, but she was holding back.  In the hallterview, she pulled and pawed and caressed the ropy blond strands to her heart's content.  She had some nice handwriting, though.

[AngelaHunter]

horsehair wig

 

Anticipation here. Bwahaha.

[designing1]

 

Romance Cooke: Oh my, what a spoiled, entitled brat, oh, the overly dramatic eyerolls.

 

To clarify: "Romance Cooke" has nothing to do with the what the case was about; it's the defendant's name.

[27bored]

Tasty Samaritan: Let that be a lesson.  If two dogs (that belong to a total stranger) want to go at it and devour each other, I say let them, it's survival of the fittest and take the opportunity to wager a few bucks on the champion of your choice.  If the dog walker looks like a beautiful, helpless, lovely angel in distress, don't be fooled, she's probably an irresponsible cretin in disguise. If you get bit trying to separate the canine devils, you'll have to drag the owner to court to have your medical expenses paid.  Lesson learned.  Helicopter pilot, though, sexy, sexy profession.

 

LOL @ "Tasty Samaritan". Kinda sucks that the dude had to pay expenses due to the negligence of someone else. Didn't JJ even admit that she was "stretching" the law?

[AngelaHunter]

"Romance Cooke"? Her name is fucking ROMANCE!  At first I thought, "What's a "romance cook"? That completely eclipses the amazing, rope-like, Alice-in-Wonderland-ish blond nylon mess slapped onto her empty head. The fact that she's utterly brainless is just ho-hum in comparison. I think what I like best though were her texts. "....that are mine's.." When JJ snapped at Romance to stop playing with her "hair" and told her it's beautiful, please tell me she was being facetious.  Either that or she needs new glasses..

 

So, I need advice: I was at the gas station and this guy pumped my gas so of course I gave him my phone number. He's illiterate and homeless and wanted to move in with me, so I said yes (who wouldn't?) I can't believe he stole all my stuff, but I'm sure you understand why I allowed Deandre to be in the position to steal my dead grandmother's jewlery. Just look at him. Super hot, with that Greek God profile and those muddy neck tats that look like he hasn't washed in a year. Don't hate on me for this. It's not my fault.

 

 

[Rick Kitchen]

Man, that smarmy landlord who was taking rent from two different groups of people for the same month was getting on my last nerve.  I wanted to reach through the screen and punch him in the throat.

[BubblingKettle]

Let's just clarify something -- when Romance Cooke said she was a bartender, that really meant stripper, right?  Yeah, I thought so.  Romance had two facial expressions: a stupid slack-jawed look and a trynna-look-sexy gaze.  

 

I loved when Judge Judy told her to stop playing with the horse-hair wig.  "Don't fidget with your hair!  It's silly."  But I think JJ held back a little bit so no one would accuse her of crossing a line and being offensive about hair/wig choices (not that she usually worries about offending litigants).  Or maybe she feared that if she got worked up, she'd actually slip and say the word "wig" or do a "your hair"-giant eye-roll combo.  I wouldn't blame JJ for feeling overwhelmed by weird hair during that case.  

 

So, I need advice: I was at the gas station and this guy pumped my gas so of course I gave him my phone number. He's illiterate and homeless and wanted to move in with me, so I said yes (who wouldn't?) I can't believe he stole all my stuff, but I'm sure you understand why I allowed Deandre to be in the position to steal my dead grandmother's jewlery. Just look at him. Super hot, with that Greek God profile and those muddy neck tats that look like he hasn't washed in a year. Don't hate on me for this. It's not my fault.

HAHAHA!  And since he's illiterate, he doesn't even know what his neck tats say.  That's so risky and mysterious --- and every girl loves a bad boy.  And he's such a social guy, he even pulls his car alongside women walking with their children and befriends them right then and there.  Quality.  I hope your tax preparer doesn't ask any questions about your new disabled dependent Deandre {wink, wink!}.  Yo, he's worth it.  Just don't breathe a word of it if you end up on Judge Judy --she said, "people get incarcerated all the time because there are IRS agents who sit and watch my litigants."

 

There was nothing overly exciting about the last case with double-dipping landlord Wilson.  The only thing that struck me was when JJ said that she read a letter from a guy named Richard.  What?!!  What happened to "I don't read letters!!"?  There must have been a special reason for her to override her rule.

[Quof]

Holy Hell, that photo has me rushing to my DVR.

[AngelaHunter]

your new disabled dependent Deandre

 

Oh, I forgot about that. And what about the plaintiff's shady witness, who couldn't wait to volunteer the info that he likes to cheat on his taxes by hiring an illiterate to be his "personal assistant" (is that a euphemism for "pimp"?) and paying him in cash? I understand why JJ thought THAT whole can of worms was too seedy to delve into.

[NowVoyager]

Romance Cooke: Oh my, what a spoiled, entitled brat, oh, the overly dramatic eyerolls. Sure, JJ admonished her to stop playing with that horsehair wig, but she was holding back. In the hallterview, she pulled and pawed and caressed the ropy blond strands to her heart's content.

And let us not forget. This person is somebody's mother. Did anyone catch her age? She had affectations like a petulant 16 year old.

Edited January 13, 2015 by NowVoyager

[NowVoyager]

Let's just clarify something -- when Romance Cooke said she was a bartender, that really meant stripper, right?

I think JJ held back a little bit so no one would accuse her of crossing a line and being offensive about hair/wig choices (not that she usually worries about offending litigants). Or maybe she feared that if she got worked up, she'd actually slip and say the word "wig" or do a "your hair"-giant eye-roll combo.

Get outta my head, Cool Whip!!!! Lol

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

So, I need advice: I was at the gas station and this guy pumped my gas so of course I gave him my phone number.

I watched that case again and was totally's WTFed again. That guy screamed felon to me from right off the screen and the plaintiff couldn't see it? What was she smoking? 

 

Onto Romance and her hair-didn't - we've discussed the wearing of wigs on here a while back and I do understand now that sometimes it's easier for African-American ladies to pop on a wig instead of dealing with their real hair - but that wig was just too wig-ly for its own good. I was thinking it was going to crawl off her head like a blond octopus and that's why she was stroking and taming it so she didn't end up bald on TV. And Romance was such a liar - she paid all the tickets, no she didn't pay the tickets, no her grandmother took back the car and somebody else got the tickets, no she didn't known anybody in Illinois but she lived in Illinois, no, the wig crawled off her wig stand in the middle of the night and drove the car and got the tickets. . . . she couldn't stick to a story but she certainly could stroke that wig. 

 

I'm one of those sappy helpful people that probably would have helped Ms Ungrateful Dog Walker with her dogs and gotten bit. I hate when people act nice and help somebody and then the helped person says "well I never asked him to help". I guess he should have let the dog run into traffic and get run off and then Ms Ungrateful Blondie Dog Walker could ask for help dragging a dead dog out of the road (and he wouldn't have gotten bit). Geeze. 

[Rick Kitchen]

I'm sure Romance takes coiffing tips from her grandmother.

[AngelaHunter]

Did anyone catch her age? She had affectations like a petulant 16 year old.

 

She could be 16. They breed young, and often, on this show. They just "get" pregant, or "find out" they're pregnant. It's a MIWWICLE!!!

 

 

I was thinking it was going to crawl off her head like a blond octopus and that's why she was stroking and taming it so she didn't end up bald on TV.

 

Stop it! I'm dying of Hilarity Overdose here. I wonder if I could go on disability for that affliction?

[SandyToes]

Why yes, AngelaHunter, you probably could collect a HO disability...

;-)

Edited January 13, 2015 by SandyToes

[momtoall]

The only thing that struck me was when JJ said that she read a letter from a guy named Richard.  What?!!  What happened to "I don't read letters!!"?  There must have been a special reason for her to override her rule.

 

My thought exactly.  For years we've heard her say with great disdain "I don't read letters/statements", so what was different about this case.  Inquiring minds want to know. 

 

Romance thought a dollar store wig was chic, and Granny thought dying her hair to resemble Barney was a good choice.  Two more candidates for a makeover.

Edited January 13, 2015 by momtoall

[tomorrowgirl]

Did anyone catch her age? She had affectations like a petulant 16 year old.

 

I think Romance said she was 21.

[BubblingKettle]

I was thinking it was going to crawl off her head like a blond octopus and that's why she was stroking and taming it so she didn't end up bald on TV. And Romance was such a liar - she paid all the tickets, no she didn't pay the tickets, no her grandmother took back the car and somebody else got the tickets, no she didn't known anybody in Illinois but she lived in Illinois, no, the wig crawled off her wig stand in the middle of the night and drove the car and got the tickets. . . . she couldn't stick to a story but she certainly could stroke that wig. 

 

If this ^^ was made into a movie, I would totally watch it. 

 

 

I think Romance said she was 21.

 

Yeah, I guess she's at an age at which she can {ahem} "bartend."  Oh, hell--what am I thinking?!  Like these people care about the the Liquor Control Board. 

[27bored]

So, I need advice: I was at the gas station and this guy pumped my gas so of course I gave him my phone number. He's illiterate and homeless and wanted to move in with me, so I said yes (who wouldn't?) I can't believe he stole all my stuff, but I'm sure you understand why I allowed Deandre to be in the position to steal my dead grandmother's jewlery. Just look at him. Super hot, with that Greek God profile and those muddy neck tats that look like he hasn't washed in a year. Don't hate on me for this. It's not my fault.

 

I've turned so many tricks that way. I've even had to fight Romance a time or two for trying to horn in on my corner. I told her she looks like a fake-ass Venus on the Half Shell and that she needs to give Buckey from Flavor of Love/Love & Hip Hop her season 1 wig back. Then she got in her feelings and tried to cut me.

 

But for real...about No Taxes Neck Tattoo Guy. He seemed reasonably well-spoken to be "functionally illiterate", which I guess has nothing to do with it, but still. He said twice he was stealing because of something he was owed. These people have tried to help your dumb ass and you're taking from them? He's gonna be pulling the same shit on people (especially women) for the rest of his life. I hope his lady friend knows better and will run in the other direction.

[designing1]

I was thinking it was going to crawl off her head like a blond octopus and that's why she was stroking and taming it so she didn't end up bald on TV. 

If this ^^ was made into a movie, I would totally watch it.

 

For your viewing pleasure: Amazing Stories, Hell Toupee or if you prefer, a clip of The Simpsons version.

Edited January 13, 2015 by designing1

[Milz]

Romance Cooke: Oh my, what a spoiled, entitled brat, oh, the overly dramatic eyerolls.  Sure, JJ admonished her to stop playing with that horsehair wig, but she was holding back.  In the hallterview, she pulled and pawed and caressed the ropy blond strands to her heart's content.  She had some nice handwriting, though.

 

Awww, give Romance a break! It was probably a brand new wig she bought specially for her television debut, hence her constant fondling.

 

 

 

 

But for real...about No Taxes Neck Tattoo Guy. He seemed reasonably well-spoken to be "functionally illiterate", which I guess has nothing to do with it, but still. He said twice he was stealing because of something he was owed. These people have tried to help your dumb ass and you're taking from them? He's gonna be pulling the same shit on people (especially women) for the rest of his life. I hope his lady friend knows better and will run in the other direction.

 

That case left me wondering who scored higher on the Stupid Scale, Deandre or the Three Plaintiffs.  And tell me, how many people here would meet someone on the street (don't even get me started on that) and instantly become such great friends you'd let him babysit your child, crash at your place and help you around the house?

 

Oh, JJ fans......I missed "The Empire" last week due to tv problems, BUT I saw it last night. It's so similar to the stuff we've watched on JJ.

[Oinky Boinky]

Romance Cooke needed the blonde wig because otherwise those bright blue eyes would look funny on an African American woman. 

[teebax]

Wow. I had no idea it was such a crime to wear a wig. Am I really surrounded by anti-wiggites?

 

Seriously, hair care isn't easy for all of us, and there's nothing wrong with wearing a wig. Some of us can't just wash and go out the door. There's also nothing wrong with changing one's eye color if one desires to do so. I'm sure it's not only African-Americans who do that. Anyway, I thought Romance looked nice.

 

I thought she was a hot mess because of her actions and attitude, but I thought she was attractive, certainly more so than our average JJ litigant.

[Sarcastico]

I was mesmerized by those eyes (hey, that rhymes!).  Was she wearing tinted contact lenses?  At any rate, she could have been quite a stunner.  If she'd lost the wig.  And taken elocution lessons.  And stood up straight.  And had a wardrobe makeover.  And gotten her GED. 

 

 

 

Am I really surrounded by anti-wiggites?

 

Whigs and Tories lining up for a debate.  Sorry, lame joke from a history geek.

Edited January 13, 2015 by Sarcastico

[AngelaHunter]

there's nothing wrong with wearing a wig.

 

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. The problem wasn't the wig wearing, but the wig itself. It looked like the type sold in Walmart for Halloween that's meant to be thrown out after the party. It did not even remotely resemble anything that might be attached to a human being. Or even to a horse. The worst part is that Romance thinks it looks hot.

 

That case left me wondering who scored higher on the Stupid Scale, Deandre or the Three Plaintiffs.

 

 

Deandre obviously has some mystical powers that put everyone within his sphere into a trance, plus he's managed to reach nearly 30 years of age without ever working or paying taxes. So I'd have to say the plaintiffs topped the Stupid Scale, since they're the ones who ended up minus their giant flat screens, dead granny's jewelry, etc.

[Zahdii]

There's a whole list of famous black people with blue eyes, Vanessa Williams is the only one I can remember off the top of my head.

 

As for the wig, wearing a wig isn't a problem or unusual, but wearing a bad wig on TV is going to draw the comments.  I think that Romance probably doesn't know the difference and couldn't afford a good wig anyway.  But she's young and her fashion tastes will probably change over time.  If she applies herself she might make enough money to buy a nice wig if she's still into wigs in the future.

 

But before anything else, she needs to stop doing things that land her on JJ.

[momtoall]

I had no idea it was such a crime to wear a wig. Am I really surrounded by anti-wiggites?

 

I am in no way anti-wig.  I wear one whenever I go out because my hair has gotten so thin.  I have three wigs that I rotate.  I had a fourth one that I tossed because I tried to shampoo it and when it dried it looked like a brillo pad.  I don't think Romance wearing a wig was the issue, it was the total fake look of wig and her constant fondling of those long locks.

[AngelaHunter]

Maybe Romance is a big fan of Star Trek TOS, and got inspired?

 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Why yes, AngelaHunter, you probably could collect a HO disability...

And you certainly could get a medical marijuana card . . . 

 

I'm not an anti-Wiggite - I'm just a BAD anti-Wiggite. I grew up thinking the idea of a wig was to look like hair, not a Swiffer product. 

 

 

Awww, give Romance a break! It was probably a brand new wig she bought specially for her television debut, hence her constant fondling.

that she probably bought with her boyfriend's HSA credit card along with some Mickey D's. 

 

And because I couldn't keep my eyes off The Wig That Almost Ate Romance. . . I never even noticed she had contact lenses. 

[27bored]

Wow. I had no idea it was such a crime to wear a wig. Am I really surrounded by anti-wiggites?

Nothing's wrong with wearing a wig, but it looked like crispity crunchity peanut buttery ass and she kept petting it like she was drunk with power. To give you some context, my mom recorded JJ yesterday and even she said, "she must've eased her ass down the yellow brick road in order to make it to court". Now y'all see where I get it from, but still. When it's that noticeable...

[Toaster Strudel]

Big Honking RV, Literally - JJ was ready to tell the plaintiff the good old story of "you ate the steak, pay for it," especially after he didn't heed warning signs and took the scrapworthy  vehicle on the road with his wife, MIL & 4 children.  The horn only shut off by wiggling the steering wheel hard, the steering wheel fell off, and still Mr Holstein wanted to drive the monstrous thing to Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone and back.  But JJ was as shocked as I was hearing his interminable litany of faults with the RV, most of which made the steering wheel falling off pale in comparison.  Lesson for all: cheap is expensive.  Next time rent a mini-bus and sleep in hotels.  They're cheap in the fly-over states. 

 

Double-Dipping Squatter - Plaintiff is not on the lease, living rent-free, and suing her very short-term room mate (the one on the lease) that she had escorted out, because he didn't give her notice.  Not making it up.  I swear.

there's nothing wrong with wearing a wig.

 

Of course not... but that compulsive fondling... and it looked like several violin bows had been killed to make it.
 

Edited January 13, 2015 by Toaster Strudel

[Milz]

AngelaHunter, I think Romance is a big fan of the Muppet Show, specifically Janice

 

Edited January 13, 2015 by Milz

[teebax]

I am in no way anti-wig.  I wear one whenever I go out because my hair has gotten so thin.  I have three wigs that I rotate.  I had a fourth one that I tossed because I tried to shampoo it and when it dried it looked like a brillo pad.  I don't think Romance wearing a wig was the issue, it was the total fake look of wig and her constant fondling of those long locks.

My mother wears one because her hair is almost completely gone. I guess I'm sensitive because I know my time will probably come as well. It seems like whenever we get a litigant who's wearing one it becomes the entire topic of discussion. I got my hand slapped for pointing out someone was really overweight, so I'm lost as to what's fair game and what's not on these boards.

[Toaster Strudel]

Mostly because JJ had to tell her to keep her hands off it and stop violating the strands... only to caress them lustily in the hallterview!

[Jamoche]

Mostly because JJ had to tell her to keep her hands off it and stop violating the strands... only to caress them lustily in the hallterview!

Yeah, it even made it to the episode title.

[Brattinella]

 

Swiffer product

Hahahaha!!!

[AngelaHunter]

still Mr Holstein wanted to drive the monstrous thing to Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone and back.

 

At first, I was sneering at Mr.Holstein's idiocy, but when I saw what an unrepentant shyster Zanak (?) was, I changed my mind. I'm glad Holstein got all his money back and I hope he learned something, e.g. if the steering wheel falls off your rented vehicle, it might be a good idea to NOT take your whole family on a road trip in it.

 

Squatter bitch and her gaggle of kids living in a home and not paying any rent? I would think she'd be grateful for being able to stiff the landlord and not suing anyone

 

Shelbie and her Daddy vs. Charlie: I just cannot conceive of a parent willing to fork over 6500$ to repair the beater POS car owned by his darling daughter and her jailbird boyfriend. And did my ear deceive me, or did Jailbird Charlie's mommy refer to him as "Chubbie?" Please say yes!

 

I got my hand slapped for pointing out someone was really overweight, so I'm lost as to what's fair game and what's not on these boards.

 

 

 

I hear that. I'm a little confuzzled myself.

 

[Guest]

I got my hand slapped for pointing out someone was really overweight, so I'm lost as to what's fair game and what's not on these boards.

 

 

I hear that. I'm a little confuzzled myself.

 

Hey, 

 

You guys are welcome to PM me with any questions.  I can also start an "ask the mod" thread if that will help.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Nothing's wrong with wearing a wig, but it looked like crispity crunchity peanut buttery ass and she kept petting it like she was drunk with power

27Bored  I cannot even. . . there are tears squirting out of my eyes

[AngelaHunter]

I guess I'm sensitive because I know my time will probably come as well.

 

If that time ever comes, we know yours won't look like an albino octopus.

[teebax]

Was there a new episode today? Mine usually come on at 6:30 here, but my dvr didn't record one. I did get the RV hooptie case. Was that new?

Hey, 

 

You guys are welcome to PM me with any questions.  I can also start an "ask the mod" thread if that will help.

Sorry if my post broke protocol. I'd like an ask the mod thread. I like to snark as much as the next poster, but I'm a little gun shy because I don't want to offend anyone.

[Guest]

Sorry if my post broke protocol. I'd like an ask the mod thread. I like to snark as much as the next poster, but I'm a little gun shy because I don't want to offend anyone.

 

No problem.  Here's the Q&A thread.

[One Tough Cookie]

was thinking it was going to crawl off her head like a blond octopus and that's why she was stroking and taming it so she didn't end up bald on TV. And Romance was such a liar - she paid all the tickets, no she didn't pay the tickets, no her grandmother took back the car and somebody else got the tickets, no she didn't known anybody in Illinois but she lived in Illinois, no, the wig crawled off her wig stand in the middle of the night and drove the car and got the tickets. . . . she couldn't stick to a story but she certainly could stroke that wig

 

 

And yet again morning tea meets my computer screen............

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

So did the guy buy the RV just to rent out? One of the charms of owning our very small camper trailer is that, unlike hotels, NO ONE has ever slept in our bed or used our toilet except us. I really can't imagine wanting to rent it out (although admittedly our payments are a tiny fraction of what his likely are)

 

We drove to Mt Rushmore in our minivan, no camper, some years ago (great trip, BTW). I  would NOT want to be driving around in the mountains and desert with a vehicle I wasn't confident in. The man's wife was RIGHT. 

[Toaster Strudel]

Pitbull Cannibalism - Pitbulls eating each other?  Works for me.  You know what they say: "sure pitbulls eat a dog or kid every once in a while, but it's a small price to pay because there is no better dog breed to guard a meth lab!"  Meet what could possibly be the dumbest vicious animal part-time owner ever.  I say part-time because these three pitbulls would be on the loose terrorizing the town's people and animals for days on end.  While the roaming, bloodthirsty trio already ripped up and devoured one of the plaintiff/neighbor's animals, the defendant maintains that they are totally harmless because they still haven't gobbled up the defendant's chihuahua.  In a Matrix-like dodging of responsibility bullets, the defendant exclaimed with gusto that they should sue the dog's actual owner, her son (uncle? I forget).  She was a lying liar that lies and got busted, and enlisted some cleaned up street person to be her lying witness too, but the guy had far better morals than her and told the truth.

 

Deformed Mutant Hound - Those looked like terrible, inconvenient malformations for the poor animal to live with, but hey, it's the breed standard!  This was very melodramatic and sad for everyone - the dog owner/defendant, his daughter, and even I felt sorry for the canine poop factory whining loudly for its negligent owner who probably fell on hard times.  I won't give everything up, watch after tomorrow's preview, an actual, unprecedented Judge Judy Update!!!!!!!  Have a hankie nearby.

Edited January 14, 2015 by Toaster Strudel

[AngelaHunter]

Thanks, ToasterStrudel. I'll skip it.

[Puffaroo]

I've been meaning to mention this for a while:  I'm constantly distracted by one of the regular members of the "audience" (I'm spacing on what they're called in a real court).  It's the young woman with the weird Buster Brown haircut and the big googly blue eyes.  She's always opening her eyes up as wide as possible and leaning past whoever's in front of her so she can look at (and be seen by) the camera. 

 

Keep her out of there, please, show.

Edited January 14, 2015 by Puffaroo

[Guest]

Have a hankie nearby.

This is a sincere and true warning.

Oh man, I was sobbing at the end of the Hound Dog case. SOBBING. I felt sorry for the man and his daughter but they did the right thing and that sweet dog went to a great home.

Way to go, Judge Judy!

Edited January 15, 2015 by Guest

[teebax]

The owner of the killer pit bulls also had the requisite neck tattoo. She's just the epitome of bad decisions.