All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Guest]

12 hours ago, Brattinella said:

Oh BOY!  Justice Ings is a super-duper dingbat!  LMAO!

My other thought besides Justice being a grade-A idiot, was, "Ings" is the best surname ever! Imagine the possibilities of Justice's future children's name:

Amaze Ings

Sing Ings

Binge Ings

Draw Ings

Sit Ings

Sigh. Yours truly got called for jury duty yesterday and was selected as an alternate juror for a criminal case. I'm proud to do my civic duty (this is the second time I've been on a jury though the first time I could actually deliberate) but lord, the lessons I learned yesterday were enlightening and depressing. Also, the judge was super nice and stopped by to chat with the other alternate juror and me after the verdict was reached. He wasn't telling anyone to hurry up because it was sushi day or that he couldn't be bothered to care about the case because his parents didn't send him to law school for that. 

[SandyToes]

Thanks for serving, Giant Misfit. I've never been on a jury.  Paneled several times, and am willing to serve, just haven't hit the right combination of time and opportunity. Mr. Toes has been on several, and some have been just so sad and depressing.  

Love your list.  What a fun game.  We need something for what I think have been boring cases this week.

My personal addition:   Winged Ings.      The matching hair was nice to see, though.  Clever of them!  And Bratinella, "dingbat" is always a good word to throw around.  Just the perfect mix of disdain and snark.

Hey - anyone seen teebax lately?  Hope she's okay. Lots of family drama last we saw. She could probably use some wine.  And a bundt cake.  And some cheeseballs.

Edited February 18, 2017 by SandyToes

[SuburbanHangSuite]

14 hours ago, Jamoche said:

Well! If your car is hit by a drunk driver who can't keep his story straight, JJ won't even peek at the KBB, she'll just give you what you paid for it. 

Right?!  Maybe that ruling was at the end of a long day.  Drunk dude STILL trying to hold onto the lie in the post-case interviews was priceless.

Justice who would rather smile than frown.  I was fascinated that she and her mom had the exact same hue of cherry locks but they weren't on speaking terms...weird.

What was the deal with that scatterbrained plaintiff seeking damages for the 5 year old TV, broken phone and gas??  She couldn't get through one coherent sentence--it was uncomfortable to watch.  I do believe she had some "issues" with the defendant that went way beyond an old TV. 

[Jamoche]

21 minutes ago, absolutqt said:

Right?!  Maybe that ruling was at the end of a long day.  Drunk dude STILL trying to hold onto the lie in the post-case interviews was priceless.

I couldn't even figure out which lie he was trying to spin. He swerved to avoid - a deer? Another car? The parked car he hit? Or was it that the parked car swerved at him?

[SuburbanHangSuite]

At this point, take your pick!  I think he tried to say the defendant backed up into his right-of-way. (Which was a neat trick considering the plaintiff was in the house!) I don't even think he recalled telling the police about swerving to avoid a deer until JJ read him the police report. 

[AngelaHunter]

Boyfriend suing girlfriend: They've been together five years and have a five-year old kid. Lease is only in her name, because she's "head of household" - no, wait. It's because she's never worked in her life and collects welfare and keeps his name off the lease so he can squat there and sponge off the taxpayers as well. Good job! She knows she's violent, and has no qualms about being violent in front of the child. HE has naked pictures of some women on his computer, so she physically attacks him and - oh, too sordid for me.

Brittney, suing her boyfriend for a trip. It took her four years to realize her boyfriend is gay? Or maybe he's just extremely effeminate. Stampled, she did!

ETA: Can we figure out these JJ words? They obviously time-saving abbreviations. I already mentioned:

"Abruised" = Abused and Bruised, e.g.

and then -

"Stampled" = Strode and Trampled? Stomped and gamboled? Stormed and...  ?

Edited February 19, 2017 by AngelaHunter

[Jamoche]

You have a Mercedes and you're on Judge Judy. Riiight. 

[SandyToes]

I hope Guitar Man takes a tape of the show and fights for custody.  He had only positive things to say about the mother in the hallterview, as I recall.  Mom is another dingbat.  Poor kid. 

The car vs. bike case cracked me up.

[stephinmn]

8 minutes ago, SandyToes said:

I hope Guitar Man takes a tape of the show and fights for custody.  He had only positive things to say about the mother in the hallterview, as I recall.  Mom is another dingbat.  Poor kid. 

The car vs. bike case cracked me up.

I just moved (back) to Saint Cloud. (Don't judge, I got recruited for a great job) Anyway...there is NO way she is providing for herself and her child in St Cloud on 20K a year. And her $975 rent is on the high end for the area, but not sure how she can pay that and feed two people, 

[me5671]

Wow... that poor man.  I didn't think I would be at first, but I was on Guitar Guy's side 100% by the end of that one.  The way the ex was smirking and constantly interrupting everyone, it was obvious that she had no self-control and, worse still, no remorse for what she'd done.

I nearly busted a gut laughing when JJ said she may be a "neurotic broad".  That's a new one.

[Brattinella]

17 minutes ago, SandyToes said:

I hope Guitar Man takes a tape of the show and fights for custody.  He had only positive things to say about the mother in the hallterview, as I recall.  Mom is another dingbat.  Poor kid. 

The car vs. bike case cracked me up.

Mrs Guitar Man was seriously deranged.  How many times did she interrupt/shout out/talk over JJ?  I didn't believe a word she said.  She is a terrible person, IMO.

Car vs bike was pretty dang funny.  Mr Gutierrez had gorgeous hair, though.  But dude, no right turn means NO RIGHT TURN.  If there had been an exception, like "When workers are present"  or "Between the hours of such and such", but there wasn't.  Guess it was a nice little vacation to LA.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

2 hours ago, Jamoche said:

You have a Mercedes and you're on Judge Judy. Riiight. 

My guess? The ve-hickle is leased.

[Guest]

I wouldn't let Adam Yomtov guard my cereal bowl with a sharpened pencil. Hopefully, he never gets his gun back and takes a job as a mall cop. Nothing worse than a little man with a big gun. 

[Brattinella]

5 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

I wouldn't let Adam Yomtov guard my cereal bowl with a sharpened pencil. Hopefully, he never gets his gun back and takes a job as a mall cop. Nothing worse than a little man with a big gun. 

Scary guy!  And a liar, through and through.

[SuburbanHangSuite]

2 hours ago, Brattinella said:

Car vs bike was pretty dang funny.  Mr Gutierrez had gorgeous hair, though. 

I loved how respectful Mr. Gutierrez was to JJ.  I just knew she would refuse to watch his video so I was surprised when she indulged him.  But he was as wrong as two left feet.  LOVED his gorgeous hair--he needs a contract with a shampoo company, stat.

[EtheltoTillie]

Where do you think the car/bike case took place?  It looked like parts of Brooklyn but I think it was Chicago. 

[Silver Raven]

17 minutes ago, GussieK said:

Where do you think the car/bike case took place?  It looked like parts of Brooklyn but I think it was Chicago. 

Mr. Gutierrez was from Chicago, so probably there.

[Eliza422]

3 hours ago, stephinmn said:

I just moved (back) to Saint Cloud. (Don't judge, I got recruited for a great job) Anyway...there is NO way she is providing for herself and her child in St Cloud on 20K a year. And her $975 rent is on the high end for the area, but not sure how she can pay that and feed two people, 

I'm sure she has some other income she's not admitting to.

[AngelaHunter]

2 hours ago, Brattinella said:

I wouldn't let Adam Yomtov guard my cereal bowl with a sharpened pencil.

I just watched that and could not believe there is some entity out there who thought it was a fine idea to give this looney little shmoo a gun! He definitely has the "little guy aggression" thing going on - the last person who should have a weapon of any kind. I wanted to hear his girlfriend speak and see what kind of woman found Yamtov appealing. I dunno about the def either. A man his age choosing to have Yamtov as a roomie? Bunch of weirdos.

Mr. Gutierrez was as respectful and polite as all get-out. Too bad he's thicker than a brick. Nothing penetrated his skull. Other cars turn there! It's as if I said, "Other people shoplift all the time so I did it too. I shouldn't be punished for it." Instead of griping about what the car cost him, he should be eternally grateful that def wasn't severely injured.

[basiltherat]

The no-right turn case was in Chicago -- I recognized the street name "Fullerton"  and it seemed to be in the area called Lincoln Park.  Mr. G., as a Chicagoan, would know that we have two seasons - winter and road construction -- and there are places ALWAYS under construction.  And that we have traffic cams that zap you if you don't obey the turn laws, and we are not afraid to ticket the hell out of you.  Was there any mention of a police report on this case?  I would imagine if the cops were involved, Captain Hairdo would have gotten a ticket.  And probably Bike Boy too, because we do have holier-than-thou cyclists who don't think Rules of the Road apply to them.

[EtheltoTillie]

I occasionally ride a bike on NYC streets.  I have learned an important safety rule:  never pass a car on the right.  Just stay behind them or go around to the left like a car.  Only if there are dedicated bike lanes with concrete barriers should you do anything different.  Judge Judy said the bike rider could safely proceed when he saw the no-right-turn sign, but she was right only up to a point.  I'm not going to leave my safety up to someone else who is driving a lethal weapon.

[AZChristian]

Didn't the bicyclist hit him in the rear part of his car?  So he wasn't passing on the right; the idiot in the car just cut in front of him.  Illegally.  We try to be aware of our surroundings when we drive.  If we see a bicyclist (even if he's riding on the sidewalk ILLEGALLY and heading for an intersection), we watch to make sure he's not anywhere near us if we're turning right - legally.  Mr. Nice Hair was (1) making an illegal turn, and (2) not watching LEGAL traffic around him. 

[EtheltoTillie]

Well, we are in agreement, AZ Christian.  The driver was an idiot!  When you're on a bike, you just can't depend on drivers to do the right thing. 

[SRTouch]

1 hour ago, GussieK said:

I occasionally ride a bike on NYC streets.  I have learned an important safety rule:  never pass a car on the right.  Just stay behind them or go around to the left like a car.  Only if there are dedicated bike lanes with concrete barriers should you do anything different.  Judge Judy said the bike rider could safely proceed when he saw the no-right-turn sign, but she was right only up to a point.  I'm not going to leave my safety up to someone else who is driving a lethal weapon.

Absolutely - years ago when I was sitting through a mandatory DoD vehicle safety class, the instructor had a saying which stuck in my mind. Right of Way isn't as important as Right of Weight. Holds true for pedestrian, bicycle, motorcycle, or a car versus an armoured vehicle, won't matter that you were in the right if you get squished.

[Brattinella]

SO glad I no longer live in a bicycle-infested area!

[SandyToes]

DVR Alert!  You don't want to miss today's case!  (Ep. #1 for me).  Can't miss Lyrical Lipzz.    Seriously.

The other case was pretty fun, too.  I expect we'll see lots of screenshots!

Episode #2 - "Mr. Riddle's car was returned riddled with bullet holes." Nice job writers!  And subtitles!   Loved both the plaintiff and defendant in that case.  A good day here in JJ land.  (Makes up for the sad custody handoff case.  Both of them were nuts. )

Edited February 21, 2017 by SandyToes

[mochamajesty]

21 hours ago, Eliza422 said:

I'm sure she has some other income she's not admitting to.

Yep, especially when she dodged the "how much do you earn? " question.  Bull you don't remember what you make.

 

An IT consultant making 20k? She is either lying or sucks at her job.

[Guest]

14 hours ago, SandyToes said:

The other case was pretty fun, too.  I expect we'll see lots of screenshots!

Shabarbara!!!! First of all, let me say that might be my most favorite litigant first name ever. And judging from her initial facial expression, I thought she over imbibed on the lemons in the green room. She was serving face to that Plaintiff like it was an all-you-can-eat dish at the Old Countey Buffet. 

I thought the guys in the bullet-riddled car case were adorable. Easy on the eyes after a long day. I hope they stay safe. 

[SandyToes]

100% agree with your entire post GM!   "Serving face" - hee!!   Putting it mildly.  

[Silver Raven]

I think if I were ever on this show, and JJ started reaming me out for no understandable reason, I would just get up and walk out.  There's no need for her to berate people just because they're standing in front of her.

Rerun today with two women and a baby living in a studio apartment?  Ugh.

[patty1h]

Ashlynn the foster child (adult) gave me the cringes twice, when she attempted to hand her paperwork to JJ.  Both times I yelled out "stay behind the podium!"  The second time I think I saw steam coming out of Byrd's ears. 

Edited February 22, 2017 by patty1h

[Mondrianyone]

Was anyone else hoping desperately for JJ to insist on listening to a few bars of Lyrical Lipzz's CD?  Just for evidentiary purposes?  What a letdown.

And I loved the repeated references to Publix, a place I'm guessing JJ is at least a little familiar with.  There are only two reasons I'd ever consider moving to Florida, and Publix is one of them.  The guys in the bullet-riddled-car case were adorable.  And very polite and sweet, too.  Surprisingly so, considering the situation.  Go for the salami next time, guys.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote

Ashlynn the foster child (adult) gave me the cringes twice, when she attempted to hand her paperwork to JJ.  Both times I yelled out "stay behind the podium!"  The second time I think I saw steam coming out of Byrd's ears. 

 There was a TV show on YEARS ago named E/R (not ER -this show was a sitcom) and the clerk was always yelling at people to get behind the white line. That's all I could think about.  That foster mom was a beeoytch for filling in the kid's absentee ballot. 

I was also waiting to hear Lyrical Lipzz. I can't imagine what she would rap about - perhaps "bills, bills, bills" hehehehe

Quote

And I loved the repeated references to Publix, a place I'm guessing JJ is at least a little familiar with.  There are only two reasons I'd ever consider moving to Florida, and Publix is one of them.

Publix is da bomb dot com. I've lived all over the country and Publix is the best grocery store ever. And if you ever find a Publix, get yourself a Publix sub - you will not be disappointed. Particularly the buffalo chicken tender sub. 

[Spunkygal]

What in the hell is a professional blemish extractor? Sounds like a medieval torture device.

[Brattinella]

51 minutes ago, Spunkygal said:

What in the hell is a professional blemish extractor? Sounds like a medieval torture device.

You can find them online as "comedone extractors".  I used to have one that looked like a plastic syringe, that used vacuum to extract blackeads.

[Mondrianyone]

I don't know why I didn't think to Google Lyrical Lipzz before complaining.  Here you go.  Klassssy.

[AngelaHunter]

6 hours ago, Silver Raven said:

Rerun today with two women and a baby living in a studio apartment?  Ugh.

Def didn't pay her boof rental and they started fighting, at the business, in front of customers. Ugh is right.

I kept nodding off but I'm pretty sure I heard about a 9k house in Detroit? Was I hearing things? I think the last time you could buy a house around here at that price may have been 1950 or so. 9K? WTH?

Rat lady who could not get her dates right sent me back to DreamLand.

Can't wait to see "Lyrical Lipzz" whoever or whatever that may be.

[Brattinella]

6 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Def didn't pay her boof rental and they started fighting, at the business, in front of customers. Ugh is right.

I kept nodding off but I'm pretty sure I heard about a 9k house in Detroit? Was I hearing things? I think the last time you could buy a house around here at that price may have been 1950 or so. 9K? WTH?

Rat lady who could not get her dates right sent me back to DreamLand.

Can't wait to see "Lyrical Lipzz" whoever or whatever that may be.

I have heard of houses selling for ONE DOLLAR in Detroit.  Not a joke.

[SandyToes]

6 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

Klassssy.

Most definitely.   Wow.  Not my style, but even so....  Nice that you found The Official Video.

I'd like to know what kind of foundation garments her friend uses, because day-um, the girls were hiked waaaaay up there.

[Jamoche]

8 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Def didn't pay her boof rental and they started fighting, at the business, in front of customers. Ugh is right.

I kept nodding off but I'm pretty sure I heard about a 9k house in Detroit? Was I hearing things? I think the last time you could buy a house around here at that price may have been 1950 or so. 9K? WTH?

Rat lady who could not get her dates right sent me back to DreamLand.

Can't wait to see "Lyrical Lipzz" whoever or whatever that may be.

I caught part of a house-flipping show once where they bought one for about $10K in Las Vegas. You can't even get a vacant lot for $10K in the SF Bay Area.

[AZChristian]

Those $1 houses (Baltimore had them, too) are in areas of the city that officials want to bring back up to code.  Buyers get a lot of low-interest loans, etc., and cannot "flip" them within a certain time period.  They needed a LOT of work.

[Brattinella]

4 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Those $1 houses (Baltimore had them, too) are in areas of the city that officials want to bring back up to code.  Buyers get a lot of low-interest loans, etc., and cannot "flip" them within a certain time period.  They needed a LOT of work.

Oh yeah, we are talking major renovations.  Like replacing a missing floor, re-wiring and re-plumbing the entire house, replacing missing appliances and light sockets, etc. 

[AZChristian]

Just now, Brattinella said:

Oh yeah, we are talking major renovations.  Like replacing a missing floor, re-wiring and re-plumbing the entire house, replacing missing appliances and light sockets, etc. 

Truth was, they were worth about $1.  LOL.

[califred]

3 hours ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

 There was a TV show on YEARS ago named E/R (not ER -this show was a sitcom) and the clerk was always yelling at people to get behind the white line. That's all I could think about.  That foster mom was a beeoytch for filling in the kid's absentee ballot. 

 

I thought I was the only one who remembered that show.  

[Silver Raven]

10 minutes ago, califred said:

I thought I was the only one who remembered that show.  

And George Clooney was in both of them.

[DoctorK]

Quote

I don't know why I didn't think to Google Lyrical Lipzz before complaining. 

That was awful.

[Toaster Strudel]

No mention of the lady who earned a living by losing money at the casino?

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

I don't know why I didn't think to Google Lyrical Lipzz before complaining.  Here you go.  Klassssy.

That was...SOMETHING. Well, I actually had to FF through the title card because that went on for about 45 seconds too long and nearly gave me a seizure, then there was the bizarro skit that I FF'd through, then on to the chorus which consisted of "Fuck You, Bitch" on an endless loop at which point I stopped listening. Not because I'm a delicate flower but because it was just that bad. I see her "producers" were in the video as well.

 

9 hours ago, SandyToes said:

I'd like to know what kind of foundation garments her friend uses, because day-um, the girls were hiked waaaaay up there.

Yes, and maybe the friend could pass one along to Lipzz because god knows she sure needed a lot of lifting -- in multiple places. 

[augmentedfourth]

I'm gradually catching up after falling behind, so some of the cases are blurring together, but I think it was the deadbeat BB gun dad case where when JJ kept pressing him as to the last time he saw his son, he finally decided on "September 31st"? Ha. Sounds about right for him. Too bad she didn't pick up on that.

 

The quick case with the 83-year-woman falling off the bed while trying to turn on a fan made me smile and sigh a little bit because that is EXACTLY the kind of dumb thing my mother would do to hurt herself. (She's only 68, but she's had some doozies over the years where she just wasn't thinking clearly. We can laugh now. Sometimes we even laugh at the time when she's getting patched up.) I'm glad she wasn't seriously injured. I also had to laugh when the plaintiff said the fan wasn't on a switch because he's tall enough to just reach up and pull the chain. We are a family of short women on both sides. My daughters are doomed.

[basiltherat]

Falling off rickety beds is why I would never rent a vacation space in a private house.  Give me a hotel every time, even if it is Motel 6.  At least the cooties there have insurance!