All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[zillabreeze]

Speaking as a person with a big butt (& everything else) even if you did do damage with your ass, why in the world would you be on TV? The incident in private would be enough to embarrass me to death.

OTOH, this is the genre where obese women wear sleeveless tops and jam themselves into clothes that are akin to sausage casings.

[AZChristian]

OTOH, this is the genre where obese women wear sleeveless tops and jam themselves into clothes that are akin to sausage casings.

 

And don't forget the strapless, low-cut wedding gowns they seem to prefer on "Say Yes to the Dress."

[zillabreeze]

Oh the horror of the strapless anything with the fat all shoved up! I just don't get it. Are these women really that comfortable in their own skin or just delusional? No one in my inner circle has seen my upper arms since 1985 and I figure that's just basic courtesy on my part.

[One Tough Cookie]

I came across this obituary

 

 

So Crystal's name is really "KOJACK"?????

 

all righty then...............

[Toaster Strudel]

Hey guys

 

I just sat on my car hood, turned the motor on, and filled the crater with water.  I have a mobile hot tub!

[Brattinella]

Oh my, zillabreeze!  I was just thinking that very thing!  Please don't display that stuff, folks.  For instance, the (revered, and rightly so) Aretha Franklin, was wearing this EXTREMELY low-cut dress on TV.  I mean, falling-out type low-cut dress.  No one wants to see that! 

[Toaster Strudel]

So Crystal's name is really "KOJACK"?????

 

all righty then...............

 

Nah, that means she's related to the deceased through marriage/shacking-up with one Kojak Mounts.

 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

 

Speaking as a person with a big butt (& everything else) even if you did do damage with your ass, why in the world would you be on TV? The incident in private would be enough to embarrass me to death.

 

Speaking as another person with a big butt (and I cannot lie) I get mortified at work if I knock a piece of paper off a counter with my butt. Pepto Precious didn't seem to have that problem. 

 

OTOH, this is the genre where obese women wear sleeveless tops and jam themselves into clothes that are akin to sausage casings.

Thus prompting my clothing rule when my now-grown daughters were younger "Just because you can fit INTO it, doesn't mean you should WEAR it". 

 

I saw bless-her-heart Aretha on TV and girlfriend needs some undergarment support to tame her chi-chis. Gravity is not just a John Mayer song. 

[Sarcastico]

 

Before my sister married her husband, they had been together for awhile when his father died. She was listed as a "Special Friend."

 

My uncle died last year and his "special friend" was named in his obituary.  He was 99, by the way.

[Ouisch]

Over the years I've seen various message boards where proud mamas proclaim that they'd named their newborn infant "Precious" or "Heaven" or "Miracle" because said baby was a gift from God after a difficult pregnancy or (insert heartstring-tugging story here). I'm sure all parents are equally overwhelmed at the miracle of birth when they first view their precious heaven-sent angel in the delivery room, but they need to think ahead before christening the tiny babe with such a cutesy moniker. People will definitely have preconceived notions of an adult named Precious (and they probably won't automatically think of an aerospace engineer). (I used to work in a large office with a co-worker whose first name was Princess. I would overhear her on the phone pretty much every day explaining to a caller that yes, that was her real name.)

 

Poor Precious simply didn't understand where JJ was coming from when she kept insisting that most intelligent adults don't pull up a car hood when they're looking for a place to sit down. Her look of confusion when the audience laughed at her "Well, my car wasn't there" defense was pitiable. She apparently didn't have her listening ears on and was just focused on justifying why she'd planted her backside on that automobile.

Edited October 3, 2014 by Ouisch

[SandyToes]

 

Oh, The Precious! So bone-jarringly stupid that she nearly made JJ"s head implode. I can only imagine the size of the crater left on the hood of the car by that rhino ass. I'm surprised the engine wasn't crushed.

I cannot quit laughing.  In related name-news, we had students in my building named "Nevaeh" (backwards), and ran across one today, Abcde.  Pronounced "Ab-cee-dee. Seriously.

Bone-jarringly stupid.  hee

[AZChristian]

Over the years I've seen various message boards where proud mamas proclaim that they'd named their newborn infant "Precious" or "Heaven" or "Miracle" because said baby was a gift from God after a difficult pregnancy or (insert heartstring-tugging story here). I'm sure all parents are equally overwhelmed at the miracle of birth when they first view their precious heaven-sent angel in the delivery room, but they need to think ahead before christening the tiny babe with such a cutesy moniker. People will definitely have preconceived notions of an adult named Precious (and they probably won't automatically think of an aerospace engineer). (I used to work in a large office with a co-worker whose first name was Princess. I would overhear her on the phone pretty much every day explaining to a caller that yes, that was her real name.)

 

Poor Precious simply didn't understand where JJ was coming from when she kept insisting that most intelligent adults don't pull up a car hood when they're looking for a place to sit down. Her look of confusion when the audience laughed at her "Well, my car wasn't there" defense was pitiable. She apparently didn't have her listening ears on and was just focused on justifying why she'd planted her backside on that automobile.

 

True story:  Hubby was trying to contact someone as part of a job many years ago.  Her name was Fe-MAHL-lee.  He found out that the parents had never gotten around to providing info for her birth certificate, so when they left the hospital with her, the parents just assumed that the nurse had named her, because they name on the certificate was Female.  And they never changed it!

 

Second point:  Aren't we all just dying to see the hood of Precious' car?  If sitting on the plaintiff's car once dented it, what must Precious' car look like?  She inferred she sits on it all the time:  "It's what we do!"

[One Tough Cookie]

Hey guys

I just sat on my car hood, turned the motor on, and filled the crater with water.  I have a mobile hot tub

 

 

 

OH MY GOD!!!!   Afternoon cocktail--meet screen.  Rim shot!

[PopTart16]

I thought my beloved JJ was going to have a stroke last night with Precious, "I can't, I just can't", when was the last time she had such a reaction?

[Brattinella]

She almost had the same reaction to the defendant today, plaintiff Aja Fendt vs scum-sucking couple who stole their stuff and locked it in their garage (beds and all) and also sold drugs out of the garage.  Defendant was a slattern, Rebecca something, and I can't BELIEVE that JJ believed defendants!  She totally ignored the plaintiff, only awarded her a kitchen table and a bag of garbage.

[Brattinella]

GOD how many times can this guy say "BASICALLY"???

[AngelaHunter]

I thought my beloved JJ was going to have a stroke last night with Precious, "I can't, I just can't", when was the last time she had such a reaction?

 

There was one other time when the outrageous garbage spewing out of a litigant made her put her head in her hands in despair. Sadly, I cannot remember which case.

 

In the "Who Has the Five Thousand Dollars?" case, I was half disgusted and half awed by the way people can move to a foreign country, not even speak the language but can learn how to work the system instantly.

[Brattinella]

The wonderful Ms Quintano looked so woebegone!  "But the Government would have taken my money!" (loosely translated) Wow.  Actually, the defendants were pretty despicable, too.

[Rick Kitchen]

When I was in the Air Force, I was stationed with a tall male sergeant whose first name was Precious.  We called him "Sarge".  :)

[Brattinella]

Speechless.

[SandyToes]

So, basically, please know that basically, not all landlords are basically bad.*   JJ seemed to, basically, overlook that the photos basically showed the house after it was basically cleaned. That basically bugged me. Basically, the whole thing was weird. The previews of this episode yesterday were, basically, hysterical.

 

How do people let strangers move into their homes without a lease?? A facebook message as a lease? For a family of five?!  JJ seemed especially short-tempered today. Must have been a long week. Pepto Precious would do that to you, I guess.

 

 

In the "Who Has the Five Thousand Dollars?" case, I was half disgusted and half awed by the way people can move to a foreign country, not even speak the language but can learn how to work the system instantly.

Exactly!!!  Grrrrr!

"How many children do you have?" "Right now, I have three."  As opposed to yesterday? Or next week? Criminy.  (Although, to be fair, I guess one could have met a tragic end, or be back with Daddy.) LOVE when the judge calls bullshit on scammers. Wish she could have done more.

 

* We've been landlords for years, and try to very carefully to document, document, document things. We've been very blessed with mostly wonderful tenants.  I am still often amazed at how tenants will treat a house they don't own, or get so angry when we won't let them live there for months on end for free. Imagine! My takeaway  on the first case was that they signed a new lease, and then left. According to our leases, you break the lease, you lose the security deposit. Some landlords are slumlords, but not all. Just felt like there was more to this story.  //end soapbox.

 

Craigslist!   Drink!   Kerfuffle!  Drink!   What? Still only me?  Shoot.

Edited October 3, 2014 by SandyToes

[AngelaHunter]

I don't really care about the real story in the landlord case. I just hated Mr. Basically Kerzanzek (or whatever) so much I wanted him to not collect a cent. A grown man, a landlord and business man who makes his contracts with FB posts? Like, for real, Fred? Not saying he's unsual though. How many so-called landlords have we seen here who have not the foggiest idea of what the tenant/landlord laws in their area are, who wouldn't dream of writing a lease or contract and do all transactions in cash with no receipts? They deserve whatever rip-offs come their way.

Edited October 3, 2014 by AngelaHunter

[QuelleC]

 

True story:  Hubby was trying to contact someone as part of a job many years ago.  Her name was Fe-MAHL-lee.  He found out that the parents had never gotten around to providing info for her birth certificate, so when they left the hospital with her, the parents just assumed that the nurse had named her, because they name on the certificate was Female.  And they never changed it!

I definitely believe that happened!  Wow....

 

Years ago on one of the court shows or Dr Schill maybe, a very old lady explained she named her daughter Urethra because she thought it was pretty.  She seems to have been clued in somewhere along the way but didn't care.

[Jamoche]

The stepbrat - well, he's 30 now, but the nickname's been appropriate since he was 5 - is the sort of person who will end up on JJ once my stepdad finally gets completely fed up with him. Stepdad found out he'd let his insurance lapse, told him that he was absolutely not allowed to drive the car. Two hours later he asked to borrow it.

[EtheltoTillie]

I definitely believe that happened!  Wow....

 

Years ago on one of the court shows or Dr Schill maybe, a very old lady explained she named her daughter Urethra because she thought it was pretty.  She seems to have been clued in somewhere along the way but didn't care.

We had an intern in  our office years ago named Modessa.  Maybe it dates me, but that used to be a brand name of a feminine product.  We would joke that she had sisters named Tampaxa and Kotexa.

[Ouisch]

I just hated Mr. Basically Kerzanzek (or whatever) so much I wanted him to not collect a cent.

 

 

Agreed! (Basically.) I loved how his wife or whoever his witness was chided him about his handling of the case after the decision - "You didn't tell her .... you should've said....."  

 

As for Mrs. "Right now I have three children", I'm guessing that she had two when this kerfuffle began, and has since had an "anchor baby."

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

We had an intern in  our office years ago named Modessa.  Maybe it dates me, but that used to be a brand name of a feminine product.  We would joke that she had sisters named Tampaxa and Kotexa.

I work at a pediatrics office next to an inner city hospital. You would not believe the names I see. My favorite are when, let's say the baby daddy's name is Jerry (not a real example so I'm not violating HiPPA law) so all the kids (male, female, doesn't matter) have JER at the beginning of their names - JERanna, JERurethra, JERticklemeelmo, JERbigscreentv - it's like somebody playing a drinking game with Scrabble letters dumped out on the floor. 

 

Jamoche, be reasonable - the kid just asked to BORROW the car - he never said he was going to DRIVE it ;). Perhaps he was going to invite Pepto Precious over to sit on the hood. Everybody knows that you're not supposed to drive without insurance or a license or registration. . . . . . . . . . . .  ;)

 

 

Craigslist!   Drink!   Kerfuffle!  Drink!   What? Still only me?  Shoot.

Sandytoes I was thinking along with you (not drinking as I'm a lightweight and would be sloshed before Mr. Basically basically finished his case basically. I think we should add when Judge Judy uses- ah, the-ah, AH at the end of each word. She's getting more exasperated at the morons and more testy. Maybe we should have a point system like in fantasy football. 

[SandyToes]

Oooh, I like that! Besides. The wine bottle is empty.   We could add when Byrd chuckles, or they shoot each other the "Not sure it's worth it even being paid for this" look? 

Ouisch, I think you nailed the three-children thing. Duh.

The day is warming up here. May go stretch out on my car and catch a few rays.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

I am behind on watching but I have to say, I have sat on the hood of cars before. But it was back in my lighter, much younger days. Nothing like being outside in the dark lying on a hood watching the stars.

Been there done this. .  but it was my own car.. . . and the car was made of steel, not fiberglass and aluminum like more modern cars. And you LAID on the car thus distributing your weight. 

 

Stewed Squash, I want to hear the Ray names. Perhaps a few of them will end up on JJ and we need more points for our fantasy JJ football league lo. 

 

Oooh, I like that! Besides. The wine bottle is empty.   We could add when Byrd chuckles, or they shoot each other the "Not sure it's worth it even being paid for this" look?

Extra points for sushi lunch!!!!

Edited October 4, 2014 by ItsHelloPattiagain

[zillabreeze]

Holy Crap! I thought you people were exaggerating about "basically" dude! Just watched it and my ears are bleeding. I am disappointed in JJ for not calling him out in the same way she gets on people for overusing "like". If my husband developed that habit I would have no choice except divorce.

[Brattinella]

 

 

Quote

    

    I am behind on watching but I have to say, I have sat on the hood of cars before. But it was back in my lighter, much younger days. Nothing like being outside in the dark lying on a hood watching the stars.

Been there done this. .  but it was my own car.. . . and the car was made of steel, not fiberglass and aluminum like more modern cars. And you LAID on the car thus distributing your weight.

 

Exactly this.  In my younger, skinnier days I would always use the hood of my American, steel, muscle car to watch the Persiad shower, et al.  Laying straight back, looking at the stars with the snacks and, um, accoutrements of my youth!

 

Oh, and I am loving the baby names, keep 'em coming!

[SandyToes]

More baby names? You got' em.  I have the definitive two. I'm sure of it.  (although all things Ray must be pretty cool!)

(1) L-a

(2) Shithead.

*

*

 

Give up? "Ladasha"   My daughter had her in the dorm at college.

She-theed.  Seriously. A friend was checking in people at a post-hurricane shelter and double checked the spelling and had to ask about pronunciation. And got the evil eye for questioning it.  Sigh.

Judge Judy - um, Hmmmm.  I love her evil smile/smirk in the opening credits. Looks like an SNL skit.  Or when the litigants act all lawyerly - I think yesterday's show, "May I approach the bench?"  J:  "No!"

[Brattinella]

I love the misogynists who try and INSIST on speaking loudly and bullying to the court get totally SQUASHED by JJ. There are also women who try this tactic, and they get shot down as well.  You can tell these idiots get away with this shit all the time in their personal lives, and I have to cheer when I see them get put in their places.

[AngelaHunter]

If my husband developed that ("basically") habit I would have no choice except divorce.

 

If MY husband started acting like a pansy-assed, whiny, FB addicted ninny who said "Basically" before each sentence, I would have no choice but to KILL him.

[khyber]

I work at a pediatrics office next to an inner city hospital. You would not believe the names I see. My favorite are when, let's say the baby daddy's name is Jerry (not a real example so I'm not violating HiPPA law) so all the kids (male, female, doesn't matter) have JER at the beginning of their names - JERanna, JERurethra, JERticklemeelmo, JERbigscreentv - it's like somebody playing a drinking game with Scrabble letters dumped out on the floor.  

Reminds me of Jermaine Jackson naming his son Jermajesty.

Edited October 4, 2014 by khyber

[EtheltoTillie]

Wait a minute--didn't plaintiff say she stood on the hood of the car to escape a dog?  Was he exaggerating?  That thread of the argument got lost once everyone began focusing on her large butt and miniature mental status.

[AngelaHunter]

That thread of the argument got lost once everyone began focusing on her large butt and miniature mental status.

 

Plaintiff said there was a large dog but it was very friendly, and then Precious' miniature mental status made her forget all about the fact she originally said that was her reason for hood jumping. Poor thing couldn't keep a thought in her head for more than a millisecond.

[One Tough Cookie]

and miniature mental status.

 

 

OMG--I'm dyin' here!!!

[Ouisch]

That thread of the argument got lost once everyone began focusing on her large butt and miniature mental status.

 

 

True. In fact, as I recall Precious stated that the reason she went outside in the first place was that she'd looked out the window and noticed a "bunch of guys" out there. Or something to that effect. Anyway, that particular remark made me think that she rushed outdoors because there was a nice selection of men ripe for the pickin'. And yes, it was a German Shepherd that suddenly ran over and interrupted the party, but the plaintiff said that the dog was friendly and wagging its tail. Methinks that perhaps Precious thought it was an irresistibly adorable move to be a damsel in distress by hopping atop the car in ersatz fear of the formidable canine.

Edited October 5, 2014 by Ouisch

[Brattinella]

I got that impression too, Ouisch.  When she mentioned "6 or 7 guys"  immediately I thought "LOTS to choose from!".  Damsel in distress!

[Trini]

I started a drinking game thread for all our favorite (or most hated) JJ clichés!

[Sarcastico]

Saturday Nite Judy brought us the return of Ryan Baker, the Dumbest Man in America.  JJ veterans will remember him.  He claimed that his arrest for accidents, outstanding warrants, driving without a license, et. al., was the result of his girlfriend smacking him while he was driving.  Anyway, this was the third time I've seen this case and I noticed something.  When JJ asked him how he was employed at the time, one of the jobs he mentioned was "dancing."  Could "dancing" be a euphemism for stripping?  Was Ryan Baker, Dumbest Man in America, also a stripper?  Unfortunately, JJ decided not to pursue that.  I would have. 

Edited October 6, 2014 by Sarcastico

[Oinky Boinky]

Sarcastico, I thought he said something about dancing on the street for a store or service to draw customers - you know like the dancing weiner in front of the push cart.

 

Then again with the dancing weiner maybe he was a stripper. 

[Toaster Strudel]

http://livedash.ark.com/transcript/judge_judy/510/KPIX/Thursday_January_27_2011/553861/

 

"Baker, there's one thing to be stupid and there's another thing to appear to be stupid. Don't combine the two."

[designing1]

Ah, Ryan Baker. What that pretty, apparently otherwise reasonably intelligent plaintiff ever saw in him remains a mystery. I'm not sure what the 'sitchyation' (TM Ryan Baker) was there. 

 

Sunday night's repeat in NYC brought us the case against the obviously drunk/high/in need of a fix uber-twitchy guy running an unlicensed 'sober living house'. How JJ got through that one without asking him if he was taking any medication is beyond me.

[Sarcastico]

It did occur to me that the dancing was part of the waving in front of the tax-preparation place.  But being filthy-minded as I am, I wanted to find out if anyone else thought that he could have been a stripper.  But that raises another disturbing question: was he in costume while waving and dancing in front of the tax-preparation place?

[Brattinella]

We don't get weekend JJ here *sniff*

[EtheltoTillie]

Saturday Nite Judy brought us the return of Ryan Baker, the Dumbest Man in America.  JJ veterans will remember him.  He claimed that his arrest for accidents, outstanding warrants, driving without a license, et. al., was the result of his girlfriend smacking him while he was driving.  Anyway, this was the third time I've seen this case and I noticed something.  When JJ asked him how he was employed at the time, one of the jobs he mentioned was "dancing."  Could "dancing" be a euphemism for stripping?  Was Ryan Baker, Dumbest Man in America, also a stripper?  Unfortunately, JJ decided not to pursue that.  I would have. 

I had never seen it before, and I was astonished by how dense he was.  Hello, is anyone inside?  This weekend show will be a good way for me to catch up with old episodes.  I wasn't watching this show before a couple of years ago.

[Ouisch]

But that raises another disturbing question: was he in costume while waving and dancing in front of the tax-preparation place?

 

 

I'm guessing he was. We've got a few Liberty Tax places around here, and their sign-dancers dress up like the Statue of Liberty.

[Guest]

OMG! I lurved the Ryan Baker case. Every time he came out with "sitchyation" I giggled like a loon. As for the Liberty Tax thing, it makes total sense he would be working for them as a roadside eyesore. How does he keep getting women?!

The other JJ weekend rerun was the case of Napoleon Dynamite's Sister suing the Ghost of Kurt Cobain for bail money (shocking) and a loan for an engagement ring. Everything about those litigants made me want to take a Silkwood shower.

In today's dog fight case du jour, I see that Blanket Jackson is all grown up now.

Edited October 7, 2014 by Guest