All Episodes Talk: Lorelai and Rory and the People They Love

[Jfer082887]

Something that I didn't like about that episode is the goodbye Rory gave Lane. Sure they had spoken earlier but Rory sees her best friend leaving for possibly a long time and she sits with Dean and just waves? No extra hug or one last talk before she goes? I always hated that.

[Anela]

I've just watched the episode that I think was titled, "Haunted Leg." At the end of the episode, I thought the scene between Rory and Jess was similar to the one that had just happened between Lorelai and Christopher. I've never noticed that before. Christopher wanted to spend time with Lorelai and Rory, and she has to remind him that he's engaged, and has a baby on the way. Rory is mad at Jess, for having a girlfriend, and he has to remind her that she's still with Dean, and has shown no signs of leaving.

 

On another note: one of the most touching parts of the show, was when Lane was afraid to go home, after the show she was supposed to play, falls through. Mrs Kim's expression, and her tone, as she realized that her daughter called Luke, and Rory, instead of her... that gets me every time. And the moment when Lane is feeling jealous of the girl who moves in with her mother, when she sneaks into the house, and kisses her Mum's cheek when she's sleeping. As strict as she was, she really thought she was raising her daughter in the right way, doing what was best for her. I loved it when they showed a new side of her, like when she poured Lane a shot, after her break-up with Zach, and she was even nastier to people than her mother.

[junienmomo]

Yes, there are several instances of the same plot point in different areas. This one, I suspect, was intentional. Others, like "You've been Gilmored" and "You've been Huntzbergered" I think are more a lack of imagination than design.

[scarynikki12]

In light of the recent talk in Nitpicking about whether or not Lorelai would have a trust fund, I think this would have solved the money problems that so many of us have commented on from the pilot.  Say that Lorelai's trust was worth a few hundred thousand.  Her plan could have been to use it for Rory's education, Harvard and then Chilton once that opportunity presented itself.  It would be there as a back up should she be unable to support herself and Rory but, otherwise, would sit there untouched during Rory's childhood and adolescence.   Then, surprise!, she goes to the bank to withdraw the tuition fees and learns that it was revoked back when Rory was first born*.  I'd make Trix the culprit here.  She'd be the one to set up the trust (they could call it a family tradition or something to explain why Richard and Emily weren't involved) and revoked it because Lorelai brought shame upon the Gilmore name.  Anyway, Lorelai, in a real financial bind, is left with only one option: going to her parents to beg for money.  They could even assume that Lorelai had somehow spent all the trust money and then it could come out during that dishwashing confrontation with Emily. 

 

*I have no idea how realistic it would be for a trust fund to be revoked and the recipient to not know about it but the show was never realistic with finances anyway, so I think this wouldn't be a big deal.

[dustylil]

An interesting premise scarynikki12. But if Lorelai believed she had a trust fund, wouldn't she have  been receiving financial statements and suchlike in the intervening decade and a half? If not, how would she know if she had enough money to pay for Rory's schooling?

Given her somewhat justified suspicions about her parents (and the family in general) and the way the viewed and used money, I wouldn't have expected her to accept - simply on faith - that there was family money owing and available to her.

Edited November 9, 2014 by dustylil

[scarynikki12]

Me either but I could forgive it as part of the show's premise, had they gone there. 

[junienmomo]

Don't forget that Richard had invested money in Lorelai's name at her birth. That's also more complicated than the show alludes to. 

First, it's a little hard to imagine that there was never a need to sign a paper over the 35 years that the investment was running. 

Second, that was an asset that would have impacted her credit rating and should have been discovered when she bought her house or taken a line of credit for the Dragonfly.

 

BTW, revokeable trusts can be revoked at any time. The person simply has to fill out a few papers and the property/assets revert back to the original owner. The beneficiary has no legal right to know about the trust. 

[dustylil]

It also would have been nice for Lorelai to have known about that investment when she was trying to get the termite loan a year or so earlier.

 

 

[junienmomo]

Has anyone figured out a plausible reason for Luke and Lorelai to be separated for 7 weeks right after the kiss?

• They didn't use it for multiple episodes
• There was no romantic chain of "Pillow Talk" phone calls, which ASP might have been good at
• It wasn't to keep Rory and Luke out of the house at the same time, since Rory was away in Europe
• It's a five hour drive to Maine; either one could have taken a day off and met
• There was no particular plot point for Rory and Luke to come back to SH at the same time

I'm puzzled.

 

Also, did you notice that Rory and Luke never were in the house overnight on the same night? What was that about?

Of course Luke sleeping with Lorelai for those of you with dirty minds :)

[txhorns79]

Has anyone figured out a plausible reason for Luke and Lorelai to be separated for 7 weeks right after the kiss?

 

My guess would be the writers wanted to advance the timeline to catch up somewhat with the viewers (i.e. the first episode of the new season began immediately where the last episode of the prior season (set in May) left off, despite the fact that viewers were in September) but they didn't want any major storylines to be lost in a time jump.    

[Kohola3]

OK, just gotta say.....I loved Miss Celine.  I thought she was a major hoot.  "Natalie"!

[junienmomo]

LOL, txhorns, they lost a pretty major storyline if they really believed two major protagonists in their 30s were going to wait 7 plus weeks for their first intimate encounter. Especially when it was all TJ's fault. ;)

I get what you mean, though, it looks like they did make a certain effort to start the fall in the fall-ish and end the season in the May-ish time frame. 

Although (nitpick alert) 7 weeks would only get them from April-ish or May-ish to mid July. 

I gotta stop trying to apply too much logic to the fiction in the magic box we call television.

[MaiSoCalled]

I just finished the ever brilliant season six (I hope you can all hear the sarcasm in that statement). 

 

I don't think there's a moment in the series that makes me angrier than when Anna says Lorelei can't be around April. Every part of that conversation makes me irrationally furious and desperate to go into the tv and talk some sense into this horrible character. First of all, who says to someone they just met "engaged isn't married." We know Lorelei has been engaged before, but Anna doesn't. She's depriving April the opportunity to be involved in her father's wedding and taking her away from family. Lorelei says she's a single mother, how old does Anna think the child is? Does it occur to her that she is taking April away from a potentially age appropriate friend in Stars Hollow? 

 

I know Anna shows herself time and time again to be selfish and controlling with April, but the show doesn't paint her as a villain ala Mitchum. We're told she's a good person who allows Luke to chaperone a trip and throw a birthday party for her kid (and she's always "her kid" not Luke's kid). 

 

I like the April plotline better than most. I think April brought something great out in Luke, and I think having a child of his own allowed him to appreciate Christopher's place in Rory's life. But in that one scene I have more anger toward Anna than virtually any other character. 

 

I think it may have been more entertaining if Emily and Richard were right, and Anna was trying to con Luke out of his diner money. 

[BC Mama]

I just finished the ever brilliant season six (I hope you can all hear the sarcasm in that statement). 

 

I don't think there's a moment in the series that makes me angrier than when Anna says Lorelei can't be around April. Every part of that conversation makes me irrationally furious and desperate to go into the tv and talk some sense into this horrible character. First of all, who says to someone they just met "engaged isn't married." We know Lorelei has been engaged before, but Anna doesn't. She's depriving April the opportunity to be involved in her father's wedding and taking her away from family. Lorelei says she's a single mother, how old does Anna think the child is? Does it occur to her that she is taking April away from a potentially age appropriate friend in Stars Hollow? 

 

I know Anna shows herself time and time again to be selfish and controlling with April, but the show doesn't paint her as a villain ala Mitchum. We're told she's a good person who allows Luke to chaperone a trip and throw a birthday party for her kid (and she's always "her kid" not Luke's kid). 

 

Yes!! This!! A thousand times this!! Also, with the number of girls at that party, it is pretty realistic that Luke would have had help chaperoning the party (especially after it became a sleep-over). If Anna wanted no one else involved, she should have talked to Luke about before hand instead of crucifying him for not reading her mind after. And, Anna is a huge hypocrite! She tells Lorelai that April is not going to meet a suitor of hers until she is ready to get married (which Luke is) yet Luke and Lorelai have to be legally bound to be in April's presence?

[Taryn74]

Yes!! This!! A thousand times this!! Also, with the number of girls at that party, it is pretty realistic that Luke would have had help chaperoning the party (especially after it became a sleep-over). If Anna wanted no one else involved, she should have talked to Luke about before hand instead of crucifying him for not reading her mind after. 

 

The whole party blowup was absolutely absurd.  As a parent, I would be FAR more upset and uncomfortable finding out that my young teenage daughter spent the night at a friend's house with no adults present other than the friend's single father that she was just getting to know.

[larapu2000]

When I first saw the episode of Luke with the birthday party, that's where I thought it was headed.  "Single man alone with pre-teen girls!"  I mean, I'm glad it DIDN'T go there, but the tension I felt proves that it's a valid concern.

[txhorns79]

When I first saw the episode of Luke with the birthday party, that's where I thought it was headed.  "Single man alone with pre-teen girls!"  I mean, I'm glad it DIDN'T go there, but the tension I felt proves that it's a valid concern.

 

I'm sorry, I just cannot agree with this.  Men aren't by nature, child molesters, and I cannot get behind the idea that a situation where a male parent being left alone with his daughter and her friends somehow creates a valid concern about the safety of the girls, if the only thing upon which you base the concern is that the person has male genitalia.     

 

I was okay with Anna getting upset because neither she nor any of the other parents had met Lorelai.  I think that is a valid concern, to be angry that your kid was left in the care of someone you have never met and did not consent to have watch your kid.  I thought her dictate about Lorelai staying away from April was shortsighted and counterproductive.       

[dustylil]

My theory at the time - and nothing in the later episodes changed it - was that Anna only agreed to the party (and the overnight ) because she expected things to go badly. Not necessarily inappropriately badly, of course.  But just enough that April would become disenchanted with spending much  time with Luke.  Life as Anna knew it and liked it would return. And really, until Lorelai graciously came along to save the party, Anna's scheme was unfolding right on track.

[larapu2000]

I'm sorry, I just cannot agree with this.  Men aren't by nature, child molesters, and I cannot get behind the idea that a situation where a male parent being left alone with his daughter and her friends somehow creates a valid concern about the safety of the girls, if the only thing upon which you base the concern is that the person has male genitalia.     

 

I was okay with Anna getting upset because neither she nor any of the other parents had met Lorelai.  I think that is a valid concern, to be angry that your kid was left in the care of someone you have never met and did not consent to have watch your kid.  I thought her dictate about Lorelai staying away from April was shortsighted and counterproductive.       

I don't think my original post was clear, because I really agree with what you're saying above.  What I was trying to say was that I thought the situation was going to lead to someone freaking out because of the recently discovered father, not that it would actually happen.  And it wasn't that I would think that, but in my mind, I feel like I'm used to TV going to the well for the same old cliches and situations, so that probably added to my headspace.  Had Anna been warm and welcoming about Luke being in April's life, I might not have have even thought that, but her hostility added to so much of it.

 

I should also add here that I watch Pretty Little Liars.  And if you do, too, you will understand.  LOL

Edited November 17, 2014 by larapu2000

[ddiced35]

I'm sorry, I just cannot agree with this.  Men aren't by nature, child molesters, and I cannot get behind the idea that a situation where a male parent being left alone with his daughter and her friends somehow creates a valid concern about the safety of the girls, if the only thing upon which you base the concern is that the person has male genitalia.     

 

I was okay with Anna getting upset because neither she nor any of the other parents had met Lorelai.  I think that is a valid concern, to be angry that your kid was left in the care of someone you have never met and did not consent to have watch your kid.  I thought her dictate about Lorelai staying away from April was shortsighted and counterproductive.       

 

I was definitely NOT okay with Anna getting so upset and going at Luke like that. All the girls called their parents in Luke and Lorelai's presence so presumably they were all honest about who was there chaperoning - "Anna's Dad and his fiance." And from what we saw, all the parents agreed to it (no girl was mentioned to have left because her parents were uncomfortable with the arrangement).

 

I think Anna was pretty bullshit when she heard about how cool Lorelai was from Anna (and possibly her friends) and saw Anna's purple hair streak and everything. I agree with dustylil that Anna thought the party would be a disaster. Not only was it a success, but it was a success thanks to Lorelai. And suddenly Anna is threatened not only by the "new" dad but the "cool" fiance.

[BC Mama]

I was definitely NOT okay with Anna getting so upset and going at Luke like that. All the girls called their parents in Luke and Lorelai's presence so presumably they were all honest about who was there chaperoning - "Anna's Dad and his fiance." And from what we saw, all the parents agreed to it (no girl was mentioned to have left because her parents were uncomfortable with the arrangement).

 

I think Anna was pretty bullshit when she heard about how cool Lorelai was from Anna (and possibly her friends) and saw Anna's purple hair streak and everything. I agree with dustylil that Anna thought the party would be a disaster. Not only was it a success, but it was a success thanks to Lorelai. And suddenly Anna is threatened not only by the "new" dad but the "cool" fiance.

 

I agree with this wholeheartedly! Also, if Anna had rules concerning who Luke could or could not introduce April to, she should have discussed this with Luke beforehand and not interrupted him at his business to scream at him! She should also keep in mind that what might be common sense to Anna, who has 13 years of parenting experience, might not be common sense to Luke, who has no parenting experience (thanks to Anna). I find it hard to believe that a woman so controlling over who is a part of her daughter's life wouldn't have asked Luke what his plans for the party would be, especially once the party became a sleep-over!

[txhorns79]

I think Anna was pretty bullshit when she heard about how cool Lorelai was from Anna (and possibly her friends) and saw Anna's purple hair streak and everything.

 

In fairness, I recall Lorelai being somewhat threatened by Sherry over much less.   

 

 

Also, if Anna had rules concerning who Luke could or could not introduce April to, she should have discussed this with Luke beforehand and not interrupted him at his business to scream at him!

 

I understand this, but I am a very firm believer on this that Anna should have been told Lorelai was attending the slumber party, and maybe her reasons for being upset were totally petty, but I do think she had a point on wanting to meet Lorelai before her daughter was being placed under her care. 

[Kohola3]

I wonder how many of April's friends knew her mom had sex with three men in 4 or 5 days.  Not exactly the mom I would want my daughter hanging around.  Can you imagine what the posse that attacked Lorelai after the "career day" speech would do with that one?  She has a lot of nerve criticizing parenting with her reputation.

[dustylil]

Now did Anna have sex with all those fellows or simply give the impression to her daughter that that was what had happened? Appalling ideas - both of them.

[txhorns79]

I wonder how many of April's friends knew her mom had sex with three men in 4 or 5 days.  Not exactly the mom I would want my daughter hanging around.  Can you imagine what the posse that attacked Lorelai after the "career day" speech would do with that one?  She has a lot of nerve criticizing parenting with her reputation.

 

When did they suggest Anna had sex with three different men in four or five days?  The only thing I remember from the storyline was that April had looked through Anna's diaries, letters or whatever and determined that her mother was in relationships with three different men around the time she was conceived.  Determining the point of conception isn't always an exact science, particularly when looking back over a decade later.  The whole thing could have happened over a period of weeks, rather than days.  

 

 

Now did Anna have sex with all those fellows or simply give the impression to her daughter that that was what had happened? Appalling ideas - both of them.

 

I don't think Anna gave her daughter any impression.  As I recall, Anna said she didn't know what April was doing when she ran her experiment, and I'm guessing that whatever diaries or notes April found were not meant for her eyes.   Though, solely as to Anna's actions in having relationships with more than one guy over a short time period, why is that "appalling?" 

[Kohola3]

Well, I doubt that April lived in a vacuum so the fact that she was collecting DNA from total strangers couldn't have escaped Anna's notice.  Why would she allow that if she hadn't had relations with 3 during her fertile period?  It's not like they could have been a month apart.

[txhorns79]

Well, I doubt that April lived in a vacuum so the fact that she was collecting DNA from total strangers couldn't have escaped Anna's notice.  Why would she allow that if she hadn't had relations with 3 during her fertile period?  It's not like they could have been a month apart.

 

Here is what Anna says when questioned by Luke:

 

ANNA: But we really don't need anything. It was not my idea for April to call you. It was all her thing. She got obsessed with winning that science contest, and she's really a smart, driven kid. She's already written a short novel, and she's got her own website. So she went through my old letters and put the whole thing together and, frankly, didn't tell me anything about it till way after the fact. I did not send her to you.

 

I can agree that Anna should have been more on top of things, but since it was never suggested she was lying to Luke when she disclaimed knowledge of the project, I don't think we are meant to think otherwise. 

Edited November 18, 2014 by txhorns79

[MaiSoCalled]

In fairness, I recall Lorelai being somewhat threatened by Sherry over much less.   

 

I understand this, but I am a very firm believer on this that Anna should have been told Lorelai was attending the slumber party, and maybe her reasons for being upset were totally petty, but I do think she had a point on wanting to meet Lorelai before her daughter was being placed under her care. 

Lorelei was threatened by Sherry, yes, but she didn't begrudge her the chance to bond with Rory. 

 

And while I do understand why Anna was upset about not meeting Lorelai, I feel she loses any moral high ground with the statement "engaged isn't married." She could request that Lorelai not spend the night with Luke while April is there, or even that April not go off alone with Lorelai for a while, but to not see April at all? 

 

I wonder if some of the parents had issue with not Lorelai, but the makeovers. Heck, maybe Pretty in Pink was offensive to other parents. 

 

But, for me, in that one moment, Anna went from being another quirky character, to a caricature. 

[dustylil]

Kohola3, it seems likely that more than just  some of April's  friends might be picking up unexpected information about Anna given that the information concerning the experiment was on display at the school science fair. Parents, teachers, school officials, any other attendees - anyone with an understanding of rudimentary biology and basic arithmetic - would learn something interesting about Ms. Nardini.

 

Perhaps they didn't have hordes of harridans patrolling the streets of Woodbridge as they did in Stars Hollow.

[txhorns79]

Anna given that the information concerning the experiment was on display at the school science fair. Parents, teachers, school officials, any other attendees - anyone with an understanding of rudimentary biology and basic arithmetic - would learn something interesting about Ms. Nardini.

 

Yes, they would quickly find out her daughter had listened to the soundtrack of Mamma Mia too many times. Otherwise, the only other thing that they may find out was that a woman had sex (maybe with more than one person!), years before (however old April was).  I think the project itself is probably inappropriate for a grade school science fair, given how personal the information would be to Anna and April.  However, unless there was a strong desire in the town to engage in what is called "slut shaming," most people are probably not going to say anything.           

Edited November 18, 2014 by txhorns79

[Eeksquire]

It seems to me that parents who had more "experience" in their own youths (whether that be with drugs, sex, alcohol or otherwise) tend to be MUCH more strict with their own children on those topics.  In terms of this show, witness Lorelai's "I got the good kid" when overhearing Paris and Rory discuss Paris having sex with Jamie.  By that standard, who knows what Anna is reacting to? (Although, truthfully, a woman who never told the father of her child that she was pregnant probably doesn't want him in her life or the child's life at all, no matter what she says to the contrary when the truth comes out.)

 

Of course, by this standard, we all have to wonder wth Mrs. Kim was up to in her youth! :)

[dustylil]

We know what Mrs. Kim was up to when she was young. She was in a band! A rock band! And we all know what those hussies got up to :)

And since it has been raised Eeksquire, I will  comment on how unlikely I thought the phrase "I got the good kid" sounded coming from Lorelai. As if she thought life and morality were issues of black and white and lack of sexual experience was a defining factor in someone's life. That phrase coming from Emily, I could understand. From Lorelai, not so much.

I was pleased to learn that Lauren Graham argued  against the line. She thought it out of character for Lorelai.

[solotrek]

We know what Mrs. Kim was up to when she was young. She was in a band! A rock band! And we all know what those hussies got up to :)

 

She hid her Christianity from her Buddhist mother! Lane really took after her mother.

[larapu2000]

We know what Mrs. Kim was up to when she was young. She was in a band! A rock band! And we all know what those hussies got up to :)

And since it has been raised Eeksquire, I will  comment on how unlikely I thought the phrase "I got the good kid" sounded coming from Lorelai. As if she thought life and morality were issues of black and white and lack of sexual experience was a defining factor in someone's life. That phrase coming from Emily, I could understand. From Lorelai, not so much.

I was pleased to learn that Lauren Graham argued  against the line. She thought it out of character for Lorelai.

 

But at the same time, Lorelai WAS her mother in some respects.  Her life had been defined since the age of 16 by a sexual experience (pregnancy), so for her, I think, Rory having sex before an age that Lorelai was okay with would have made her flip out that Rory was going to make the same mistake she did when she was young.  Even though Lorelai tells her she can talk to her about it, even when she tells Lorelai that she had sex with Logan, Lorelai is clearly not okay with it, even though she doesn't reveal that to Rory.  

 

I'm kind of glad Rory had a traumatizing "first time" experience.  Welcome to the club, kid.

[txhorns79]

But at the same time, Lorelai WAS her mother in some respects.  Her life had been defined since the age of 16 by a sexual experience (pregnancy), so for her, I think, Rory having sex before an age that Lorelai was okay with would have made her flip out that Rory was going to make the same mistake she did when she was young.

 

I think Lorelai was very black and white on certain topics.  Lorelai did flip out when she thought Rory had sex with Dean when they fell asleep at Miss Patty's during the first season.  Part of that was probably because Emily freaked out on Lorelai first, but Lorelai seemed legitimately angry when she was yelling about how Rory would go on the pill and would not be getting pregnant.  I think Lorelai would consider it a huge failure on her part if Rory had become pregnant as a teenager.   

[Eeksquire]

 

I was pleased to learn that Lauren Graham argued  against the line. She thought it out of character for Lorelai.

I always thought it was out of character, but then I remember that this was some kind of "Family Values" funded show (at least at the beginning).  But it was really out of character, considering how supportive and realistic she was throughout Rory's relationship with Dean and even with Jess (grudgingly).

[Guest]

I think Lorelai was very black and white on certain topics.  Lorelai did flip out when she thought Rory had sex with Dean when they fell asleep at Miss Patty's during the first season.  Part of that was probably because Emily freaked out on Lorelai first, but Lorelai seemed legitimately angry when she was yelling about how Rory would go on the pill and would not be getting pregnant.  I think Lorelai would consider it a huge failure on her part if Rory had become pregnant as a teenager.   

I think in some way, she felt that way because it would have "proved" her mom right. That she didn't do everything she could have/ should have in raising Rory and a pregnant Rory was the result. By raising Rory so differently from her upbringing, she wanted a different result - not a pregnant teenager.

[truebluesmoky]

I'm new to the show but have been obsessively binge watching... I'm early in Season 5 right now. The relationship stuff is so weird because who I like each of the girls with is so often driven by either chemistry over personality or me hating one choice so much that I'll take the other one just because he's not the one I actively hate. With Rory, I just can't stand Dean. When they're together the first time, as soon as he starts to get jealous of Jess, he yells at Rory constantly and she lives in fear of making him angry, like when she spends the day searching in terror for the lost bracelet. For this reason, I was perfectly happy to overlook Jess's shortcomings, She also had better chemistry with Jess, which I think others have noted may have been due to the actors dating. When she gets back together with Dean when he's married to Lindsey, he's shown yelling at Lindsey in that scene where she answers his phone. He's NOT a nice guy when it comes to women. For this reason, I can deal with Logan, even with his douchiness, because at least he's not Dean.

 

With Lorelai, on paper I love the idea of her with Luke. But everyone is totally right that she has the best chemistry with Christopher. Not to mention the fact that Luke is always screaming at women as well, like the old woman whose garage he was renting for his boat. Sadness about his father does not excuse screaming at women. What is with all the men screaming at women on this show?

 

Agree with others about Kelly Bishop's amazing performance as Emily. I should hate Emily, and I do have moments of hating her, but I also want to hug her. I just watched the scene where she and Richard are separated and she goes on that date, during which she seems to have a lovely time and is charming and seemingly happy. Then she walks into the empty house and bursts into tears... powerful stuff!

Edited November 18, 2014 by truebluesmoky

[solotrek]

What is with all the men screaming at women on this show?

 

Yes, I sometimes wonder about the Palladino's. The guys in this show, once in a relationship, lose their minds. Jealous, moody, angry. It's kind of weird.

 

Richard doesn't count because he and Emily were already together since the beginning of the show (though crashing into your wife's car is hardly normal). Jason, despite some issues I had with him, was probably the only one who stayed the same before and during the relationship.

 

Though to be fair to Luke: if I had a sister like Liz; a brother in law like TJ (watching the episode where Liz forces Luke to hire TJ as a contractor); a tenant and town supreme leader like Taylor; living in a town as quirky as Stars Hollow, and had to deal with these people everyday constantly, I'd probably have a really short fuse as well.

[Tangerine]

But at the same time, Lorelai WAS her mother in some respects.  Her life had been defined since the age of 16 by a sexual experience (pregnancy), so for her, I think, Rory having sex before an age that Lorelai was okay with would have made her flip out that Rory was going to make the same mistake she did when she was young.  Even though Lorelai tells her she can talk to her about it, even when she tells Lorelai that she had sex with Logan, Lorelai is clearly not okay with it, even though she doesn't reveal that to Rory. 

 

For as much as Lorelai was about Rory being able to make her own choices, she was very much exactly like Emily in a lot of respects. When her and Rory were arguing after Lorelai kissed Max at Chilton in Season 1, she went on about how she made the rules for a reason and that they weren't changing until she said so. That was exactly the type of environment she grew up in, except her rules might have appeared more "fun." She was just as rigid in the type of environment that she wanted Rory to grow up in.

[Eeksquire]

 

When her and Rory were arguing after Lorelai kissed Max at Chilton in Season 1, she went on about how she made the rules for a reason and that they weren't changing until she said so.

Well, to be fair, weren't the rules under discussion the rules that Lorelai had set for herself, rather than rules she had set for Rory? It's been awhile since I saw that episode, but I thought that was about how she doesn't introduce people to Rory or bring them home or acknowledge [to Rory] that she has a romantic life? To me, that's different than saying that she has ironclad rules for Rory.

 

I think the only consistent rule I remember her imposing on Rory was the rule that Lorelai won't lie to other mothers and doesn't want to participate in lies to other mothers.

[truebluesmoky]

It's definitely an interesting quirk of Lorelai's parenting. She raised Rory in a flexible, open, non-smothering, mother and daughter as best friends environment mostly because she thought it was truly best for Rory to be raised the opposite of how Lorelai herself was raised. She did it for Rory. But she also did it to prove to Emily and Richard that her way was better. So she had a lot riding on Rory continuing to be Little Miss Perfect. If Rory repeated Lorelai's mistakes or went too far astray, she could no longer serve as evidence of Lorelai's good parenting and, by extension, the senior Gilmores' bad parenting. Rory is truly beloved by her mom and grandparents but equally just a pawn in their crazy emotionally devastating game of life.

[Tangerine]

Well, to be fair, weren't the rules under discussion the rules that Lorelai had set for herself, rather than rules she had set for Rory? It's been awhile since I saw that episode, but I thought that was about how she doesn't introduce people to Rory or bring them home or acknowledge [to Rory] that she has a romantic life? To me, that's different than saying that she has ironclad rules for Rory.

 

I think the only consistent rule I remember her imposing on Rory was the rule that Lorelai won't lie to other mothers and doesn't want to participate in lies to other mothers.

 

They were rules with regards to how much Rory would know about Lorelai's relationships. So while yes, for the most part they applied to Lorelai's actions, they still involved Rory. Especially as she was getting older now and this time, it actually directly effected her.

 

She did it for Rory. But she also did it to prove to Emily and Richard that her way was better. So she had a lot riding on Rory continuing to be Little Miss Perfect.

 

This is a good point, and it also highlights how incapable Lorelai could be when it came to being the disciplinarian. I think it's what made Emily and Richard going back on their word and taking in Rory when she dropped out of Yale even more devastating for her. When Lorelai and Rory were at odds, she typically would NEVER let Emily or Richard have an inkling about it. But here she was, finally admitting that she was at a loss when it came to her and they approached her in agreement and understanding only to go back on it.

[txhorns79]

But here she was, finally admitting that she was at a loss when it came to her and they approached her in agreement and understanding only to go back on it.

 

I agree with this, but I think Lorelai truly took the wrong lesson away from this.  It all turned into some weird power struggle between she and her parents, when the real problem was that Rory played all three of them.  Rory got what she wanted, no talk of returning to Yale for now, protected from the real world by her loving grandparents and her mom wasn't going to bug her.     

[junienmomo]

For me, the moment when Lorelai decided to not intervene in Rory's quitting school was the most OOC moment of the series for Lorelai.

 

She even had two people, Paris and Luke, who made it clear that the Lorelai way was to get Rory aside and talk sense into her but she refused.

 

Unbelievably OOC for a person who wanted the boy who "wormed his way" into Rory's mouth (ROFL on this line) to "die." Who couldn't give Luke even a few days to work through the fact that her family hated him so much they deliberately put Christopher up to try to break them up.

[txhorns79]

For me, the moment when Lorelai decided to not intervene in Rory's quitting school was the most OOC moment of the series for Lorelai.

 

In fairness, she did try to intervene and talk sense to Rory, but it blew up in her face.  I can see why she wouldn't want to go through that a second time if there was no indication the result would be different.   

[solotrek]

I just thought it was a ridiculous and stupid situation. Rory wanted to take some time off from Yale and Lorelei freaked out. Understandable. However, this all happened at the end of the semester, meaning there was about 3 months of time where Rory could reconsider her situation and clear her mind. All Lorelei had to say was "I know this is a tough time, but now you have some free time to clear your head. We'll discuss this later. Right now focus on getting a summer job." Getting really confrontational at the time was probably a bad idea, however understandable. However, Lorelei become confrontational with every single meeting they had. Almost like a scorned lover than a parent with a child who made a bad decision. And really, that was the same reaction Lorelei always had whenever Rory would turn to the grandparents. Like the insane "your boobs are bigger argument" after Rory's successful golf outing with Richard.

 

 

I agree with this, but I think Lorelai truly took the wrong lesson away from this.  It all turned into some weird power struggle between she and her parents, when the real problem was that Rory played all three of them.

Basically. Lorelei's actions were definitely more motivated by what the elder Gilmore's had done than doing what she would have done otherwise for Rory.

[larapu2000]

In fairness, she did try to intervene and talk sense to Rory, but it blew up in her face.  I can see why she wouldn't want to go through that a second time if there was no indication the result would be different.   

I could see this as why a friend wouldn't go through that a second time, but not a parent.  You never stop reaching out.  Even Emily and Richard never stopped reaching out to Lorelai, even if at times they were a little clueless when they should have expected the reaction they got.

 

I like how Lorelai freaks out about Rory getting counseling when she returns to Yale, but yet Lorelai never thought that Rory might need counseling when she stole a yacht after being a crime-free citizen her entire life?  I always kind of hoped that Rory would continue to go to counseling and have it help her resolve issues in her life, like with her dad, and her making efforts to truly reconcile Emily and Lorelai for good.  

[txhorns79]

I could see this as why a friend wouldn't go through that a second time, but not a parent.  You never stop reaching out.

 

I think that is nice in theory, but the reality of this particular situation was Rory was an adult who had very directly made it clear she did not want Lorelai's help.  In this case, I would say it wasn't on Lorelai to keep seeking return engagements when her daughter had made her views known.       

Edited November 19, 2014 by txhorns79

[junienmomo]

Rory did reach out early on, just not in any useful way. She showed up at the diner one night, first night of community service, IIRC. That wasn't about a coffee and a little chat, but she couldn't bring herself to say what she wanted to say. Luke's hands were tied because Lorelai had been very clear about what she wanted to do, and Lorelai wasn't there to change her mind.