S01.E07: Communication Breakdown

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

Halie's family visits, which makes George feel insecure; Brenda and Travis see a marriage counselor to discuss their conflicting beliefs and values; and Emma becomes mad at Joey for neglecting household responsibilities.

[PityFree]

Dear TV gods: Please have Brenda's sister and mother comment/give advice on every television relationship show from now on and forever. Amen. 

[Primetimer]

Don't think you escape criticism either, Joey's parents who apparently let him live like a freeloader right up until he left home.

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[PupCal]

Wow. I can't see Brenda/Travis working out at all after this. He'd prefer abortion to be illegal?

Emma and Joey aren't gonna make it either, i suspect. Still not sure why they even got married in the first place. They should've just lived together first.

[Pepper Mostly]

Brenda needs to kick grubby Travis to the curb, pronto. And Halie's mother needs to get a damn hobby or pay some attention to her other children. In what world is it ok to guilt your 18 year old newly married daughter about your feelings? What about being brave and cheerful and supporting your child? Sheesh.

Edited July 13, 2016 by Pepper Mostly

[AussieBabe]

Colour me miffed as to why any of these couples got married. I've seen people who have been married 60+ years and look happier than Emma looked at 80 days. I really believe they just got married because they were already living together or tax benefits. She knew how he was, and I hope she didn't fall into the marriage will change him and make him mature trap. Maybe the relationship is comfortable or maybe they really love each other. At any rate, it wasn't well thought out. Communication seems to be an issue for sure. 

Halie and George. This is what happens when you get married to have sex. As someone who is from a close knit family, I do understand, but her mother harping on and on about how hard it was on her wasn't helping matters. George should've handled it better at the party. 

Brenda and Travis..sweet baby Jesus. Political differences are one thing. I could be a fan of going of republic and my husband could be a royalist. That wouldn't escalate to him telling me he would leave me. Their fundamental differences are the issue. What happens if God forbid they have three kids, and she doesn't want anymore? Is he going to leave if she decides to terminate the pregnancy? He can have his views and opinions, but he's forgetting that as a spouse, he should want to support his wife and respect that she knows what's best for herself. 

[TeapotWakeen]

Y'all are right about so much. My main thing is I JUST KNOW Travis is unwilling to wear a condom. I know it. I mean, okay, she takes her pills (and sometimes irregularly) but if pregnancy is such an issue between the 2 of them, HE should be helping to prevent pregnancy too.  A little extra insurance would sure help.

Thank GOD I'm past the days of worrying about pregnancy or allowing a man to sit on the couch and play a video game while I clean. And my sons' future wives will be blessing me like crazy cuz these boys do their own laundry, a portion of the household laundry, they cook, they clean -- and they know I'll ask once, tell the second time, and they'll suffer if I have to ask a third time. Only had to do a third time twice with each boy.

[jacksgirl]

Kind of surprised  (yes. I know it's scripted), that Haile's dad doesn't pull mom Christy aside and tell her to stfu about living close when grand babies are born. That is none of her business. Haile and George are both so immature and they should be at 18 and 20. Mormons notoriously marry young, but these two are reeeeaaaallllyyy young. Hubby and I disagree to a point of abortion rights,  so we took steps to make sure both of my pregnancies were planned and after we were done, he had a vasectomy. Problem solved. Birth control can be all but 100% effective, so Travis wrap it up if you and Brenda aren't ready to have a child. I like big goofy Joey, but Emma is outpacing him in maturity a lot these days. I think she was hoping he'd change, but he can't/won't.  In five years, only Halie and George will still be married I predict.

[IvyDancer]

This show honestly never ceases to amaze/horrify me. These people save for Halie and George who are just entirely too young and too immature to be married, don't even seem to like each other, let alone love one another enough to even consider a long-term relationship or marriage. I just...can't fathom why they're having "debates" thanks dirtbag Travis rather than actual, constructive adult conversations or the occasional (but resolvable!) disagreement. I mean, I just don't understand how this works at all. And I even said to my husband, if abortion is such a big issue, why don't they take care of it? I just don't understand why they're posing all of those confrontational and unresolvable hypothetical situations at this point. Travis' Catholicism is such that he won't take care of anything and just follows Church doctrine to the letter? Well, Orange County is the right place for him then! (Used to live and work there). Why didn't he find a girl from Church if these tenets are so crucial? I DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL.

 

And again they need a support system - marriage is so fragile and there are so many obstacles (speaking from experience!) they need love, support and understanding and airing their differences for the world to see will do irreparable harm to everyone's marriages. I honestly don't see any of these people lasting except maybe Halie and George.

 

Emma and Joey - he has gotten a good edit for the last two eps, but he really, truly is lazy. He said in ep one or two that he really has no desire to do anything but be a stay at home dad. Which, fine that's wonderful if he truly appreciates all that entails - watching after all of the kids' needs, managing them and their health, their doctors' appts, probably cooking and cleaning, supporting Emma in her career, etc. I just don't see him having the capacity to comprehend how much work is involved in running  a household when he won't even pitch in for minor chores - she asked him to do the laundry. That is one of the easiest chores there is. Seriously - sort clothes (if even that at times) dump in machine with some detergent and that's it. He can't even do that. And he can't even see when the hamper (if they have one) is getting overburdened. Sorry for my mini-rant there, I just turned into a stay-at-home dogmom and even that is TOUGH. I wish these kids had the opportunity to make mistakes, grow and mature without adding the intense stress and scrutiny of a marriage on top of everything. 

[jacksgirl]

3 hours ago, IvyDancer said:

He said in ep one or two that he really has no desire to do anything but be a stay at home dad. Which, fine that's wonderful if he truly appreciates all that entails

Too true. Running a house, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, shopping and taking care of child/children is exhausting. Joey has no idea, although his idea would be just watching the baby, letting the house and chores go and expecting a pizza from Emma at the end of the day. Glad they decided to put house hunting on hold. They are both nice kids, but clueless about being adults.

[TwirlyGirly]

Rarely do I dislike anyone in the cast of a reality TV show as much as I dislike Emma's husband, Joey.

One word comes to mind every time Joey appears on the screen: slacker. I've thought that since the first episode, and everything he's said and done since has just cemented that initial perception in my mind.

I've met people like him - people who believe they're "special snowflakes" and only need to do those things in life they find enjoyable. He proved that's his mindset when he said during one of their TH's (in reference to counseling), "Just kinda sounds like somebody telling me I'm doing everything wrong, and it just doesn't seem like something fun to do. Yeah."

Apparently neither of his parents managed to teach him not everything in life is "fun," but he has to do them anyway. That's what adults do. I've never personally met anyone who would rather be working or cleaning their house or fulfilling any one of a number of "adult responsibilities" than engaging in their favorite hobby, traveling the world, lying on a beach, or just plopping down on the couch to watch some TV.  But they do what needs to get done anyway, even if they vehemently dislike doing them - because they have to get done.

I am still trying to figure out exactly what it was about Joey that attracted Emma to him initially. She's a pretty girl, seems fairly smart, and she's definitely much more of a "go-getter" than he is. Why in the world did she ever gravitate towards him to begin with? I don't get the impression he suddenly developed his slacker mindset and habits after they said "I do," so how did she end up getting so involved with Joey she thought it would be a good idea to marry the guy?

It. does. not. compute.

[MargeGunderson]

46 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I am still trying to figure out exactly what it was about Joey that attracted Emma to him initially. She's a pretty girl, seems fairly smart, and she's definitely much more of a "go-getter" than he is. Why in the world did she ever gravitate towards him to begin with? I don't get the impression he suddenly developed his slacker mindset and habits after they said "I do," so how did she end up getting so involved with Joey she thought it would be a good idea to marry the guy?

It. does. not. compute.

I wonder if she looked at him as a wounded bird or diamond in the rough that she could "save." Kind of like the stereotypical good girl saves the bad boy. Regrettably this is common - I speak from unfortunate but valuable experience. I wish her luck because she's going to need it. 

[Magoo]

TwirlyGirly - I wish I could *heart* your post a million times.  Joey is insufferable in his selfishness and immaturity.  Even knowing so many of these situations are staged, you can't fake the kind of passive-aggressiveness Joey was showing during that conversation with his in-laws.  The gape-mouthed yawning, eye-rolling, fidgiting with his filthy knit cap, looking away and all but turning his back.  Then just getting up and leaving when he'd had enough. He's a child. 

[configdotsys]

38 minutes ago, Magoo said:

TwirlyGirly - I wish I could *heart* your post a million times.  Joey is insufferable in his selfishness and immaturity.  Even knowing so many of these situations are staged, you can't fake the kind of passive-aggressiveness Joey was showing during that conversation with his in-laws.  The gape-mouthed yawning, eye-rolling, fidgiting with his filthy knit cap, looking away and all but turning his back.  Then just getting up and leaving when he'd had enough. He's a child. 

Yep. He's a total child. He's the type of guy that people can look at and say what a big lug, or a goof or whatever and see it as endearing because they don't have to live with it. He just has this whole "I just feel like" vibe that is common among some (notice the word some!) members of his generation. He thinks the world needs to adapt to his wants and the minute something does not, he walks out of the room. I am surprised he didn't cover his ears and go, "La-la-la-la-la I can't heeearrrrr yoooooooooooooou!"

I don't really lay too much blame on him for the situation the marriage is in because he is definitely a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy and Emma knew what she was getting.

[Court]

12 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Brenda needs to kick grubby Travis to the curb, pronto. And Halie's mother needs to get a damn hobby or pay some attention to her other children. In what world is it ok to guilt your 18 year old newly married daughter about your feelings? What about being brave and cheerful and supporting your child? Sheesh.

Yes! I cannot like this enough.

[Court]

Halie's mom is the absolute worst.

 

I can't feel too bad for Emma. As frustrating as it is she knew how he was.

They were already living together before they got married. Perhaps they should have discussed this or done counseling before they got married. I'm sure this was an issue before now.

Edited July 14, 2016 by Court

[Snewtsie]

As someone who was once married to an immature & lazy twot like Joey, I get infuriated watching him onscreen.  Shame on Joey's parents for raising such an unmotivated man-child.  Emma is a smart girl with a solid work ethic.  This will end in divorce, no question about it, and probably quickly.

I see how much Travis & Brenda love each other, but their views are too polarized for any lasting harmony.  They will end in divorce eventually, although it may take a few years and some really ugly arguments.

Halie & George are the only ones I predict will have a lasting marriage.  They are young now and will go through bumps in the road, but they are united in their belief system & commitment.  I don't blame George for snapping at her mom (haven't we all wanted to snap at our in-laws?), because she was creating a divide between them.  I suspect Halie's dad gave his wife a stern talking to after that ...they have to accept Halie is a married woman now (regardless of age) and in their faith the man is the decision maker of the family.  Halie's mom needs to show George more respect (and I imagine she will from here on).

[Snewtsie]

21 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Too true. Running a house, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, shopping and taking care of child/children is exhausting. Joey has no idea, although his idea would be just watching the baby, letting the house and chores go and expecting a pizza from Emma at the end of the day. Glad they decided to put house hunting on hold. They are both nice kids, but clueless about being adults.

I remember him saying he wanted to be a dad, I don't remember him saying he wanted to be a stay at home dad.  Did he say that?  I'd have to go back and watch again (and I ain't gonna do that, lol).  I think his image of being a dad includes NO chores, diapers, cooking, etc.  He would be the worst father, because he would want to be the Cool Parent- he's want to be their friend.

[ExplainItAgain]

Is saying "Christy..." in a somewhat exasperated tone the Mormon version of sassy? I haven't been the biggest fan of George, but I kind of agreed with him this episode. He and Halie are family now and need to do what's best for them. Being Mormons, if they don't live near either of their families they will still have a strong support system within their church. And without knowing he was Mormon, I would not have pegged George's dad as one. The others seemed scandalized when he mentioned walking around the house naked. Go on with your bad self, George's dad!

I continue to have the biggest girl crush on Brenda. She is very articulate for 20 years old and she seems really informed about the issues she believes in and how the world works. Also, her sister Miriam is a gem as well. Totally pegged the issue and possible future resentment and suggested counseling (and not through the church!). Their momma done good.

[Kiss my mutt]

I don't see that Brenda's and Travis's difference in their views on abortion have to be the downfall of their marriage if they keep it academic. The best way to avoid dealing with this issue is using effective birth control correctly.  I know there's always a chance of failure and everyone knows someone who got pregnant on the pill, with a tubal etc, but birth control is extremely effective. They need to look at other options like an IUD, Depo-provera, contraceptive implant. That should buy them some time to get to where having a baby isn't going to divide them. Here's a thought, put a wrapper on it Travis. 

That counselor lady was good but her eyes would get so big when she asked them a question that it felt like a stare down. I'm sure she has a thyroid problem. 

I agree that Brenda knew what she was getting into wih Joey.  Just the fact he's a grown man that still goes by that name should be an indicator of his Peter Pan syndrome. They will be my top choice for who will get a divorce. I'm sure part of her being with him has to do with the size of the town and familiarity of having been with him so long. She doesn't know anything different. 

Hailees mom needs to cut the umbilical cord. She's driving a wedge between them. Hopefully with time hailee will get used to living away from home and making her home with George. They need space to work on forming a family and they aren't getting it. Maybe move to a neutral location. Maybe it's hard for me to get since I live 1500 miles from my family and only see them once a year for 15 years. 

[configdotsys]

On 7/14/2016 at 3:46 PM, Snewtsie said:

As someone who was once married to an immature & lazy twot like Joey, I get infuriated watching him onscreen.  Shame on Joey's parents for raising such an unmotivated man-child.  Emma is a smart girl with a solid work ethic.  This will end in divorce, no question about it, and probably quickly.

Yep. Way to go mom and dad. And I don't even mind the unmotivated part that much because if he's content working in a feed store and it pays enough for him to keep a roof over his head, then I say go for it. It's the childishness that he exhibits when he doesn't agree with something or is asked to do something he doesn't want to do that drives me insane. It just shows that his parents wiped his ass for him and never wanted to see their widdle Joey disappointed or did not want him to be mad at them so they let him do what he wanted to do. That has lasting effects into adulthood when you've never learned to cooperate with others but instead learned that you are the special snowflake that everyone caters to.

Still, Emma knew what she was getting. 

[ChristmasJones]

Joey is way too young and immature to be anyone's husband. He needs a minimum of five years, if not more, to even be ready to make a serious commitment to a woman.  Emma should cut him loose sooner rather than later.  Maybe she is subconsciously recreating her mother's first marriage (odd patterns like this can run in families).

I also think Halie is too young/immature to be a wife.  But I agree with others who think that due to the shared belief system/family, they may have a chance. Her mom needs to STFU though. I would get so bored around her- people that can only talk about kids and babies bore the crap out of me. I find they often don't have much of an intellect.  (I say this knowing many parents who CAN discuss world events, politics, etc... and also love their children).

I think Travis just wanted to get Brenda in bed. She is a hot chick - but she's also intelligent, well-spoken, and seems to have solid self-esteem.  So Travis will either have to get on board with that, or I don't know if they will make it.

Edited July 17, 2016 by ChristmasJones