S08.E14: The Benefits Of Friendship

[zoeysmom]

I guess it was time for the infamous Tom to weigh in on his dating life with Sonja and Ramona:  http://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/luann-de-lesseps-fiance-addresses-relationships-with-sonja-morgan-ramona-singer

Quote

 

I do find it humorous these people have to explain they weren't attracted to someone.  Ramona and Tom seem to agree there was zero chemistry between the two of them.  So my question is if you are out to dinner with a group of friends and you have no private one on one time, is it really dating?  

If I were Sonja I would sell my diary for big bucks.  How sad is it one has to go back and check a diary about past encounters?  I would think if one remembered it might be more along the lines of, "well there was that time after so and so party you came home with me."  My guess is neither Tom or Sonja had ever seen the inside of the other's house prior to his meeting Luann.   

[Almost 3000]

32 minutes ago, OhGromit said:

Luann has never been just a countess; she became The Countess all on her own, mah friends.  She lives for that shiz.  And it became her thing, ala Asian Jewish Jules.  Pre-Count, Luann was beautiful and knew how to act the part (i.e., she's a natural snob), so she got the role right away, no need for a call-back.  And she clung to that role as long as she could (really, until it didn't pay).  Compare her with Carole, technically a princess, but never The Princess.  

Bolded: I think she's ready to sort of give it up for love AND more importantly she's branded The Countess so she as long as she's selling she has the title and the money. So it still pays. Smart cookie that LuAnn. B should be hi-fiving her for that successful branding since B's the expert you know...

[abbottrabbit]

2 hours ago, Gaily said:

Apologies if this was already posted but here is a photo of Sonja with her daughter, Quincy:

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-style/news/sonja-morgan-and-daughter-quincy-adams-coordinate-on-the-red-carpet-w212662

Quincy is a lovely young lady.

I love that the headline is "rarely seen daughter" -- like she's something on a PBS nature documentary or Crocodile Hunter or something. "And here we have the rarely seen daughter. We're going to move very slowly so we don't startle her..." 

She is gorgeous, though. Hope she has the sense to keep on keeping out of the Housewives circuit once she's old enough to make her own call on that one. 

[KungFuBunny]

According to Bethenny she pretaped her radio show which airs tomorrow because they will be taping the reunion for RHNY tomorrow.

Did we already reach the halfway mark on NY?

[WireWrap]

40 minutes ago, KungFuBunny said:

According to Bethenny she pretaped her radio show which airs tomorrow because they will be taping the reunion for RHNY tomorrow.

Did we already reach the halfway mark on NY?

Tomorrow nights episode will be # 15, so we are past the halfway mark but filming the reunion still seems early. Normally they film it with only 2 or 3 episodes left and NY has had 20 regular episodes the prior 2 seasons. If Andy stays true to the timeline, they will only have 17 or 18 regular episodes this season. That or else someone's schedule made them film the reunion early this season. 

[RedheadZombie]

9 hours ago, Gaily said:

Apologies if this was already posted but here is a photo of Sonja with her daughter, Quincy:

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-style/news/sonja-morgan-and-daughter-quincy-adams-coordinate-on-the-red-carpet-w212662

Quincy is a lovely young lady.

I've always thought Sonja was gorgeous, but she looks really harsh in these pics.  In fact, I've been thinking she looks bad this season.  I'm not sure if it's weight loss or her hair style, but something's going on.  I wouldn't comment on a normal woman her age, but Sonja's physical appearance is her entire raison d'etre, and she prioritizes her beauty treatments over heat, air conditioning, and hot water.  She might be hitting the face versus ass point in her life, and she's clearly choosing ass.

[ryebread]

49 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

I think it is her makeup.

Looks like she forgot to line her lips and fill them in.  If you cover up her lips, from the nose up she looks like Sonja. 

Also, she rarely smiles with her teeth showing like that.  Or at all.  Google images of Sonja smiling and showing teeth are 1 to 100.  I think she's so beautiful but no so much in that picture.

[KungFuBunny]

14 hours ago, WireWrap said:

Tomorrow nights episode will be # 15, so we are past the halfway mark but filming the reunion still seems early. Normally they film it with only 2 or 3 episodes left and NY has had 20 regular episodes the prior 2 seasons. If Andy stays true to the timeline, they will only have 17 or 18 regular episodes this season. That or else someone's schedule made them film the reunion early this season. 

I just listened to Bethenny's sirius show she taped yesterday with Carole Radziwill and Kathy & Rich Wakile. She said since they would be taping the reunion today they were given the rough cut version of the rest of the episodes for this season last week so they would be semi prepared for the reunion taping. I think she said 5 rough cut episodes. There's a trip to Miami in addition to the trip to Mohegan Sun.

[WireWrap]

17 minutes ago, KungFuBunny said:

I just listened to Bethenny's sirius show she taped yesterday with Carole Radziwill and Kathy & Rich Wakile. She said since they would be taping the reunion today they were given the rough cut version of the rest of the episodes for this season last week so they would be semi prepared for the reunion taping. I think she said 5 rough cut episodes. There's a trip to Miami in addition to the trip to Mohegan Sun.

Thanks. That means they are filming earlier than normal and I wondered why, even though Andy just had a week off, he likes to take off all of Aug. so I guess that is why they are filming early. I doubt that they gave the HWs "rough cuts" of the remaining episodes though, I think they got to see the final footage of them and Bethenny is just trying to not have to answer any questions about them on her radio show.

[zoeysmom]

14 hours ago, WireWrap said:

 

Ramona got to keep the extensions and went with a nightgown look for the Reunion.  https://twitter.com/ramonasinger?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

[ZaldamoWilder]

21 minutes ago, zoeysmom said:

Ramona got to keep the extensions and went with a nightgown look for the Reunion.  https://twitter.com/ramonasinger?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

Wish she hadn't.

Ok, don't flame me, the panty hose made me think she really is from 1983.  Lol.

[KungFuBunny]

22 minutes ago, zoeysmom said:

Ramona got to keep the extensions and went with a nightgown look for the Reunion.  https://twitter.com/ramonasinger?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

Would love to see the fine print of that contract.

Dorinda's twitter hashtags CouchesOfChaos and SofasOfShade  - Hah!

[WireWrap]

1 hour ago, zoeysmom said:

Ramona got to keep the extensions and went with a nightgown look for the Reunion.  https://twitter.com/ramonasinger?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

She sure loves showing off her new breasts! LOL

[motorcitymom65]

4 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

She sure loves showing off her new breasts! LOL

She sure does. Clearly she has no idea how ridiculous she looks.  

1 hour ago, WireWrap said:

Thanks. That means they are filming earlier than normal and I wondered why, even though Andy just had a week off, he likes to take off all of Aug. so I guess that is why they are filming early. I doubt that they gave the HWs "rough cuts" of the remaining episodes though, I think they got to see the final footage of them and Bethenny is just trying to not have to answer any questions about them on her radio show.

It could also be that with that many episodes yet to go, they are still doing a bit of editing here and there. 

[motorcitymom65]

2 hours ago, KungFuBunny said:

I just listened to Bethenny's sirius show she taped yesterday with Carole Radziwill and Kathy & Rich Wakile. She said since they would be taping the reunion today they were given the rough cut version of the rest of the episodes for this season last week so they would be semi prepared for the reunion taping. I think she said 5 rough cut episodes. There's a trip to Miami in addition to the trip to Mohegan Sun.

The Miami trip I believe is the Season Finale, and Lu's Engagement Party. 

From Carole's blog a couple of weeks ago, it sounds Iike talk of Tom and his previous dating life with Ramona and Sonja will still be a topic of debate.  When talking about how Lu didn't seem to want to know much about his previous love life, Carole said this:

"Wow! But the real news here is Luann is the girlfriend who doesn’t want to know. I wish I’d seen this episode before we go to Miami to celebrate Luann’s engagement. You will soon understand why."

Edited July 13, 2016 by motorcitymom65

[jinjer]

On July 11, 2016 at 5:05 PM, Yours Truly said:

We in this country never been that impressed with titles but that doesn't diminish the significance of it under those circumstances in those place. Lu isn't pretending the experiences she's had. She's not embellishing anyone's title she recalling things that happened and she's not pretending it was a big deal. In those circles where she was it had all the relevance she alludes to when recalling those times. Plus, I mean come on. Just because it's eyeroll worthy to some it still holds interest and awe for a majority of people. She's not pulling smoke and mirrors. Things happened in her time with the Count as she said it happened. It's not that it's come out that oh now after investigation we found that she really wasn't a co host of an Italian show she just appeared once or twice as the pretty airhead in a clip here and there with no real purpose. That's not the case. There's nothing misleading about Lu's whirlwind and very impressive life.  I for one don't expect to diminish what I can only imagine was a very treasured life. Why people are so set on having her downplay it so confusing to me. It hurts no one.

Well I would expect to be treated with respect wouldn't you? Odd thing to be upset about.

Luann's really caught the King of Greece's eye apparently.  He saved her a seat at some royal baptism so he could sit next to her at the meal.  I think Luann's life pre HWs was so fabulous that these other women just can't touch the level of fabulosity - especially Ramona and Bethenny.  Dorinda had the wealth, but I don't know if the financiers had access to the royals that the celebs that Luann and probably Sonja did.

I have no problem with Luann telling Bethenny how she prefers to be introduced.  She didn't tell the driver. It's a professional relationship. Those do exist in life. It isn't just with people in subordinate positions. But there are people you deal with everyday who don't have a personal relationship with you that don't need to be using your first name. With the world that Luann had been living in, I can see her always using Mrs. DeLesseps unless is was a social situation.  I am sure Luann also has a "help" attitude, but I would wager that half of her 9 siblings or their kids fall into some type of service industry position.  Luann isn't that far from her blue collar routes.

[OhGromit]

2 hours ago, KungFuBunny said:

I just listened to Bethenny's sirius show she taped yesterday with Carole Radziwill and Kathy & Rich Wakile. She said since they would be taping the reunion today they were given the rough cut version of the rest of the episodes for this season last week so they would be semi prepared for the reunion taping. I think she said 5 rough cut episodes. There's a trip to Miami in addition to the trip to Mohegan Sun.

Man, no really big trip this year, then!  Miami, the Berkshires, those are nothing side-trips by RHONY standards.  The big vacay is the centerpiece- ala Morocco, St. wherever, Turkey Cakeholes... I can't believe they're going to finish a season of RHONY without a big glamorous trip.  Bummed! 

[Yours Truly]

6 minutes ago, jinjer said:

Luann's really caught the King of Greece's eye apparently.  He saved her a seat at some royal baptism so he could sit next to her at the meal.  I think Luann's life pre HWs was so fabulous that these other women just can't touch the level of fabulosity - especially Ramona and Bethenny.  Dorinda had the wealth, but I don't know if the financiers had access to the royals that the celebs that Luann and probably Sonja did.

I have no problem with Luann telling Bethenny how she prefers to be introduced.  She didn't tell the driver. It's a professional relationship. Those do exist in life. It isn't just with people in subordinate positions. But there are people you deal with everyday who don't have a personal relationship with you that don't need to be using your first name. With the world that Luann had been living in, I can see her always using Mrs. DeLesseps unless is was a social situation.  I am sure Luann also has a "help" attitude, but I would wager that half of her 9 siblings or their kids fall into some type of service industry position.  Luann isn't that far from her blue collar routes.

See this says it all. No fuss, no muss, no big deal.

It's like Lu isn't allowed to even have basic and common courtesies afforded to her because she's her. I'm the type that understands that people can be who they want to be. If she has a "the help" attitude but isn't disrespectful about it or mistreats her employees what the fuck do I care? We all have some sort of bias in some way shape or form when going about our day to day lives. I'm very down to earth but I do like to received in a certain way depending on the situation. Trying to be everyone's friend just isn't practical throughout the day. You can still be respectful and appreciative while holding on to formal roles. It's ridiculous to imply that this isn't the way of the world and ONLY in Lu's mind. Completely comical.

[shoegal]

Asking the driver to show respect for you "like a kid" would an adult is not "respectful and appreciative" in my world.  To quote Alex McCord it's condescending, haughty and I will add downright rude. "like a kid"  Fuck that bitch.

 LuAnn could not even let it go even though it was once instance, one evening and the man wasn't even in her employ, I'm betting money that she never saw the man again.  She couldn't just be gracious and smile, oh no, she's got to teach Bethenny a lesson in manners.  Heaven forbid the lowly driver might address LuAnn by her first name.  She might never wash that stink off. 

Edited July 13, 2016 by shoegal

[Natalie68]

On 7/11/2016 at 3:33 PM, motorcitymom65 said:

I think this is what Lu thinks, or wants to believe, but how do we know? Because Tom says it is so? How does anyone know that. Ramona actually isn't making a "thing" out of it. She said something about it when they were in The Berkshire's, but since then her deal seems to be that he might not be what Lu thinks that he is. The article below that came out about her dating Tom hit the streets 2 months before Lu and Tom even met, and in that article it said that Ramona and Tom had been going out for a couple of months. Did Ramona plant that story in the hopes that Lu would go after him 2 months later? And who knows about Sonja? The interesting thing is that Lu didn't call Sonja a liar or tell the others it wasn't true (she only said that in her TH). To the others, she said she didn't care who he had been with before her. I can certainly see this would raise some eyebrows. I'm not sure how most folks roll, but if someone in my tight group of 6 gals started dating a guy that two of the other gals had also dated, there would be some discussion about it among us all. 

Personally, I think it is just as likely that Lu knew that Ramona had been seeing the guy (it was all over the press for folks that pay attention to Reality TV news), and that Sonja had a thing with him at one time, and that she thought it would be a good storyline. All the potential for drama! Not that this means she didn't fall in love and it isn't all real at this point. I think that the other gals suspect this to be the case as well, which is why she is being given a bit of the side-eye here. At the very least, a good looking guy with a lot of money seems intent on dating someone from this franchise. Should make Lu a but nervous, IMO. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3240662/Ramona-Singer-dating-New-York-business-Mogul-Thomas-D-Agostino-Jr-catching-estranged-husband-cheating.html

Edited July 13, 2016 by Natalie68
was going to post but didn't and couldn't get this screen to go away!

[motorcitymom65]

54 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

See this says it all. No fuss, no muss, no big deal.

It's like Lu isn't allowed to even have basic and common courtesies afforded to her because she's her. I'm the type that understands that people can be who they want to be. If she has a "the help" attitude but isn't disrespectful about it or mistreats her employees what the fuck do I care? We all have some sort of bias in some way shape or form when going about our day to day lives. I'm very down to earth but I do like to received in a certain way depending on the situation. Trying to be everyone's friend just isn't practical throughout the day. You can still be respectful and appreciative while holding on to formal roles. It's ridiculous to imply that this isn't the way of the world and ONLY in Lu's mind. Completely comical.

I get the point, and I don't think that it is only in Lu's mind that these sorts of things are important. I know lots of folks that think things like this are important.  Sometimes I find it amusing. Sometimes I don't. For some of us, it's just hard to understand - the distinction in the "classes" or the "roles" that people play in our lives. Go back and watch that first season. Lu doesn't have any issue with being introduced as LuAnn to Alex and Simon. Not to many of the other people she is introduced to that first season. Only to "the help". I get that some people are A-OK with a person thinking that there is a different standard for regular folk and for "the help". But for lots of us, the very idea is completely offensive and hits us at our core. 

Edited July 13, 2016 by motorcitymom65

[tenativelyyours]

The Greek Royals have been the poor cousins for so many years until the marriage in Miller money.  So Luann and her court in exile of the Borgheses of NJ were never near as fabulous as she would like to pass off.  I think she has probably had a life few could imagine.  My issue is that she has always tried to make it so much more than what it obviously is.  Her comments about there being rules of any sorts regarding the passing of the titles or money are a hoot since the title has been a nicely successful grift for generations.  Not a single aristocratic marriage in that lineage since a bourgeois thug of Napoleon's gave himself a title and his nephew waved a ton of cash under Napoleon III's nose to keep it in the family.  There are no traditions or rules of nobility the Lesseps have to keep.  Noel can be the next count just as easily as his father the current one could go into the nearest Chuckie Cheese and dub the first kid he finds in the ball pit the next Count. 

 

I do wish when she did and seems to now try to be all la di da The Countess, she would figure out some of the basic rules of the pretentious and pretending "upper class".  Her attempts at being "noble" and yet clearly getting all her ideas from a Harlequin romance it seemed made her entertaining but irritating and ridiculous all at once.  That is what made Carole so much fun her first season, poking her finger through the huge holes of Luann's The Countess facade and giggling.  Now Carole is the goat who instead of knocking the troll off the bridge instead is sitting with it underneath and giggling and mocking at the thinner people who dare to cross.

Edited July 13, 2016 by tenativelyyours

[Natalie68]

On 7/11/2016 at 2:32 PM, Yours Truly said:

Well I will definitely school you in manners if your lack of manners disrespects me and that's is what Lu was doing. Am I going to chastise you for not saying good morning to the bus driver when we get on? Nope. I personally do but if you don't thats on you. But I'm not going to allow an air of "it's okay to be super casual with me AND my friend over here" if I don't in fact find that agreeable. That's MY choice not for someone else to guilt me about just like I won't guilt someone else for not extending the courtesy of a "Good Morning" to the public servant that's getting us to work on time. Just sayin'

I get that there is a time and place for formal introductions.  Bethenny was picking Luann up FOR DRINKS.  LUANN was the one who should have been more polite to Bethenny, her host, and not tried made her feel like an ass which is also good manners.  It wasn't as though B introduced L to the driver as my fucking co worker Luann.  It was this is Luann.  Insisting on your Countess or Mrs title is pretentious.  I can't see it being that important unless that is all you have going for you.  I have been married 25 years so I know a thing or two about the Mrs title and I have never used it and when it has been used when addressing me, I say just call me Nat.  Marriage isn't like Dr. or anything (didn't take years of schooling and it isn't a career).  All it means is you are legally tied to someone.  I don't know anyone who would take kindly to being 'schooled in manners' by anyone.  Not your job.  Taking it upon yourself to school anyone in anything when you aren't their teacher is the height of bad manners.  

[ryebread]

57 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

I'm very down to earth but I do like to received in a certain way depending on the situation.

I'm a former kindergarten teacher.  During a school Halloween party one of the kids' parents called me by my first name in front of my class. It was the first time I'd met him.  Wasn't until after the Winter break that I could get many of the kids to stop calling me by that name.  They thought it was hilarious, for me it was a distracting pain in the ass.  Granted, I knew the parent was an jerk before he shouted my name across my classroom, but that sort of nailed it.

Point is, I agree with you - I like to be received in a certain way depending on the situation.

This thread is a thought provoker.  I'll have to think about why, whenever I would get an email from a parent whom I'd never met that started off with, "Hello, Cathy...." I was always a little put off by that.  I don't think I'm a snob or an elitist.  Hmmm.  I can't imagine marching into my doctor's office the first time we met, shaking his hand and saying, "Hey, Tony ...."  So why not?  Because for me, it's that respect thing.

[Yours Truly]

1 hour ago, shoegal said:

Asking the driver to show respect for you "like a kid" would an adult is not "respectful and appreciative" in my world.  To quote Alex McCord it's condescending, haughty and I will add downright rude. "like a kid"  Fuck that bitch.

 LuAnn could not even let it go even though it was once instance, one evening and the man wasn't even in her employ, I'm betting money that she never saw the man again.  She couldn't just be gracious and smile, oh no, she's got to teach Bethenny a lesson in manners.  Heaven forbid the lowly driver might address LuAnn by her first name.  She might never wash that stink off. 

Did she actually say that to the driver? Therefore being mistreating? I could give a rats ass for the way she tried to explain her reasoning. That's what happens when people have to unnecessarily explain themselves. They reach around and try to come up with something that would illustrate why because, for some reason simply expressing that's what you prefer is wrong. So instead we have the extra information that is coming out of the wood work and makes it sound worse than originally intended.

The reason why she didn't let it go as "one instance" was because, I think, she didn't believe it would be one instance. I truly believe it was to clap back at Beth cause Lu understood that it wasn't about how the driver would address her  in the future it was letting Beth know that she won't let Beth get away with her passive aggressive manuevers because Beth feels a certain kind of way about Lu's position about manners and etiquette. I don't think it was about "the help". Lu was calling Beth out specifically by letting her know she's not going to decide when and what kind of courtesies Lu receives.

Beth was a bitch, is a bitch and needs to be checked on the regular. I chalk that up as Beth getting check for taking little opportunities like that to be petty. Plain and simple.

Edited July 13, 2016 by Yours Truly

[Yours Truly]

1 hour ago, motorcitymom65 said:

I get the point, and I don't think that it is only in Lu's mind that these sorts of things are important. I know lots of folks that think things like this are important.  Sometimes I find it amusing. Sometimes I don't. For some of us, it's just hard to understand - the distinction in the "classes" or the "roles" that people play in our lives. Go back and watch that first season. Lu doesn't have any issue with being introduced as LuAnn to Alex and Simon. Not to many of the other people she is introduced to that first season. Only to "the help". I get that some people are A-OK with a person thinking that there is a different standard for regular folk and for "the help". But for lots of us, the very idea is completely offensive and hits us at our core. 

And therein is the problem. She's allowed to be her as long as she's not mistreating anyone and it's done in situations where it's appropriate for the roles to be distinguished. I don't see why there has to be a stigma about it. I think the stigma should come when a person is abusive with it and not just because they decide to implement such a professional heirarchy in there lives with those within those roles to begin with. It's such an unnecessary waste of energy. To me it's a petty grievance to have. Now if Lu is walking into a hotel hallway and automatically starts barking orders at the staff to get her more towels while snapping her fingers then I could understand but just because she is comfortable utilizing those in the service industry in the manner that is INTENDED while deliberately maintaining a professional distance during her interactions with them doesn't strike me as out of the ordinary or even worthy of criticism. 

I mean Ramona stays making the staff on ALL of their trips unpack for her and runs around issuing orders ON THE REGULAR and gets less flak about her disrespectful ways. If she does she has this shoulder shrug and eye roll that says "Oh well" and that's that. They giggle and do the whole "oh Ramona" but that shit isn't really funny. Ramona actually treats the help as they are beneath her in every way when they are on their trips to the point that they call in their preferences ahead of time. 1000 thread count sheets anyone???  Lu mentions her preferences and everyone is up in arms while Ramona practically snaps her fingers at the hotel staff on a regular basis. Makes me scratch my head.

Edited July 13, 2016 by Yours Truly

[shoegal]

36 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

Did she actually say that to the driver? Therefore being mistreating? I could give a rats ass for the way she tried to explain her reasoning. That's what happens when people have to unnecessarily explain themselves. They reach around and try to come up with something that would illustrate why because, for some reason simply expressing that's what you prefer is wrong. So instead we have the extra information that is coming out of the wood work and makes it sound worse than originally intended.

The reason why she didn't let it go as "one instance" was because, I think, she didn't believe it would be one instance. I truly believe it was to clap back at Beth cause Lu understood that it wasn't about how the driver would address her  in the future it was letting Beth know that she won't let Beth get away with her passive aggressive manuevers because Beth feels a certain kind of way about Lu's position about manners and etiquette. I don't think it was about "the help". Lu was calling Beth out specifically by letting her know she's not going to decide when and what kind of courtesies Lu receives.

Beth was a bitch, is a bitch and needs to check on the regular. I chalk that up as Beth getting check for taking little opportunities like that to be petty. Plain and simple.

Passive aggressive maneuvers??  LOL!!!  Seriously, it was about "the help" as LuAnn helpfully explained that "like a kid" Rosanna calls her Mrs. D.  So yes, it was about "the help".

If LuAnn is that bent out of shape about "what kind of courtesies she receives" from a driver that drover her to drinks ONE EVENING then she's a bigger bitch than I ever imagined.  Bethenny was being a real person, who clearly thought the driver was an equal and not a lowly servant there to serve The Countess Ms. de Lesseps and nothing more.  Petty is giving a shit what the driver calls you.

Unless he calls her a squirter.

Edited July 13, 2016 by shoegal

[jinjer]

1 hour ago, shoegal said:

Asking the driver to show respect for you "like a kid" would an adult is not "respectful and appreciative" in my world.  To quote Alex McCord it's condescending, haughty and I will add downright rude. "like a kid"  Fuck that bitch.

 LuAnn could not even let it go even though it was once instance, one evening and the man wasn't even in her employ, I'm betting money that she never saw the man again.  She couldn't just be gracious and smile, oh no, she's got to teach Bethenny a lesson in manners.  Heaven forbid the lowly driver might address LuAnn by her first name.  She might never wash that stink off. 

She didn't say anything to the driver IIRC.  She just said something to Bethenny.  

I don't call my doctor, my kid's teachers or people I first meet by their first name until they invite me to do so.  I am not introduced to a lot of people I meet daily by my first name. I definitely think Luann would think younger people would call her by Mrs.  Especially strangers. And I do agree with the poster who thought Bethenny did it to kind of knock Luann down off her Countess peg a little.  Kind of funny that Luann took the bait.  Whether a driver or a lawyer Luann was meeting that day, I think Luann would've thought she would've been introduced as Mrs. DeLesseps. I think if this guy became Luann's daily driver, she may or may not have allowed him to call her Luann after her divorce.  Before the divorce, I bet Luann would've kept stricter lines and made him call her Mrs.

[Yours Truly]

2 minutes ago, shoegal said:

Passive aggressive maneuvers??  LOL!!!  Seriously, it was about "the help" as LuAnn helpfully explained, that "like a kid" Rosanna calls her Mrs. D.  If LuAnn is that bent out of shape about "what kind of courtesies she receives" from a driver that drover her to drinks ONE EVENING then she's a bigger bitch than I ever imagined.  Bethenny was being a real person, who clearly thought the driver was an equal and not a lowly servant there to serve The Countess Ms. de Lesseps and nothing more.  Petty is giving a shit what the driver calls you.

What part of my point being that it was about checking Beth that you're not grasping from my posts? Just curious.

Petty is other people trying to decide what should and shouldn't matter to you.

Edited July 13, 2016 by Yours Truly

[Yours Truly]

7 minutes ago, jinjer said:

She didn't say anything to the driver IIRC.  She just said something to Bethenny.  

I don't call my doctor, my kid's teachers or people I first meet by their first name until they invite me to do so.  I am not introduced to a lot of people I meet daily by my first name. I definitely think Luann would think younger people would call her by Mrs.  Especially strangers. And I do agree with the poster who thought Bethenny did it to kind of knock Luann down off her Countess peg a little.  Kind of funny that Luann took the bait.  Whether a driver or a lawyer Luann was meeting that day, I think Luann would've thought she would've been introduced as Mrs. DeLesseps. I think if this guy became Luann's daily driver, she may or may not have allowed him to call her Luann after her divorce.  Before the divorce, I bet Luann would've kept stricter lines and made him call her Mrs.

And the point that seems to be forgotten. That's LU'S call not anyone else's. I think that was the main point for Lu. But ya know, there's always something more sinister lurking underneath when it comes to that Lu I tell ya and even then it's usually not of any real consequence. The fact that these little details about the woman affect others to such outrage tickles my insides. LOL

Edited July 13, 2016 by Yours Truly

[shoegal]

2 minutes ago, jinjer said:

She didn't say anything to the driver IIRC.  She just said something to Bethenny.  

I don't call my doctor, my kid's teachers or people I first meet by their first name until they invite me to do so.  I am not introduced to a lot of people I meet daily by my first name. I definitely think Luann would think younger people would call her by Mrs.  Especially strangers. And I do agree with the poster who thought Bethenny did it to kind of knock Luann down off her Countess peg a little.  Kind of funny that Luann took the bait.  Whether a driver or a lawyer Luann was meeting that day, I think Luann would've thought she would've been introduced as Mrs. DeLesseps. I think if this guy became Luann's daily driver, she may or may not have allowed him to call her Luann after her divorce.  Before the divorce, I bet Luann would've kept stricter lines and made him call her Mrs.

...and the driver didn't say anything to her.  It's not as if he slapped her on the ass and yelled "get in the car, LuAnn!!".  I think the idea that she was trying to teach Bethenny a lesson or that Bethenny was trying to knock her off her Countess peg is a little bit of projecting future happenings on to the past.  This was before Class with the Countess, this was before "you're a snake" and before any Bethenny/LuAnn strife.  This was one of the first few times Bethenny and LuAnn were around each other and the first time it was just the two of them together and they were just getting to know each other.  I don't see any ulterior motive coming from Bethenny.  I think Bethenny has clearly demonstrated that she views 'the help' as family and has little to no boundaries with them, so the driver calling her by her first name and vice versa is par for the course with Bethenny.  It's not like her staff is running around calling her Ms. Frankel.  To Bethenny, it was just Clever (I think?) driving Bethenny and LuAnn out for drinks. 

[Yours Truly]

2 minutes ago, shoegal said:

...and the driver didn't say anything to her.  It's not as if he slapped her on the ass and yelled "get in the car, LuAnn!!".  I think the idea that she was trying to teach Bethenny a lesson or that Bethenny was trying to knock her off her Countess peg is a little bit of projecting future happenings on to the past.  This was before Class with the Countess, this was before "you're a snake" and before any Bethenny/LuAnn strife.  This was one of the first few times Bethenny and LuAnn were around each other and the first time it was just the two of them together and they were just getting to know each other.  I don't see any ulterior motive coming from Bethenny.  I think Bethenny has clearly demonstrated that she views 'the help' as family and has little to no boundaries with them, so the driver calling her by her first name and vice versa is par for the course with Bethenny.  It's not like her staff is running around calling her Ms. Frankel.  To Bethenny, it was just Clever (I think?) driving Bethenny and LuAnn out for drinks. 

She kinda has no choice.. LOL

[shoegal]

9 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

What part of my point being that it was about checking Beth that you're not grasping from my posts? Just curious.

Petty is other people trying to decide what should and shouldn't matter to you.

I don't think "checking" Bethenny makes LuAnn look better, it just makes LuAnn an even bigger bitch.  I think others have addressed the issue of the idea of "checking" another on their behavior quite well, I haven't felt the need to add but now that you insist....if LuAnn thinks it's her responsibility to "check" her coworker for the perceived slight of not introducing you to another adult properly then she's a bitch of the highest magnitude. Honestly, how fucking condescending can the woman get??  That just adds to the petty, pretentious, bitch behavior she displayed regarding the driver.  Where is Simon with his moving O when you need him??

[Yours Truly]

22 minutes ago, shoegal said:

I don't think "checking" Bethenny makes LuAnn look better, it just makes LuAnn an even bigger bitch.  I think others have addressed the issue of the idea of "checking" another on their behavior quite well, I haven't felt the need to add but now that you insist....if LuAnn thinks it's her responsibility to "check" her coworker for the perceived slight of not introducing you to another adult properly then she's a bitch of the highest magnitude. Honestly, how fucking condescending can the woman get??  That just adds to the petty, pretentious, bitch behavior she displayed regarding the driver.  Where is Simon with his moving O when you need him??

When you check someone who needs to be check it looks like you're standing up for yourself.

I know it's MY responsibility to let a bitch know HOW I expected to be treated. That's the problem with the way things are sometimes. The only way people are allowed to speak up for themselves is only if it's not self serving. What the hell? People don't have to be mistreated over and over again before being allow to speak up about what they feel is respectful treatment. And considering Lu's assertion wasn't really some far fetched out of the scope of reality request to label her as some raging bitch seems to be backwards. I don't think people should be shy about what makes them comfortable. Hell if there was something about that exchange that Beth felt was off kilter it was well within her rights to counter Lu with whatever was on her mind about Lu's request and could have even gone as far as challenging Lu's reasoning about it. At least it would have been a mature dialogue instead of the ridiculous Countess shaming, or pretentious Lu middle school jabs that happen over and over again.

Not bothering to communicate the problem she may have had with Lu's declaration is also vomit inducing because then Beth brings it up disparagingly and uses it as a dig towards Lu. What the fuck does that make Beth?  A bitch child is what. Ridiculous. Having an issue with something, forming an opinion over the exchange and then referencing it in order to shame someone is rather unproductive. So all this, "the nerve" is so corny cause if something bothers you then call it out right then and there and discuss it. Kinda the way Lu did with Beth when she didn't hesitate to let her know how she prefers to be introduced. Straight to the point. Give me that any day instead of straight shooter Beth who looks stunned in the heat of a discussion, starts yanking obscenities out of the air and lashes out then afterwards has all this "insightful reasoning" about the encounter but while in it all she can express is vulgar, nasty, irrelevant insults that don't have anything to do with the issue at hand. But she's the one with some moral high ground and Lu is the one to be crucified cause she prefers Mrs. or Countess during introductions for whatever reason. I tell ya. Lu should have shrugged it off as no big deal? Well I shrug off Lu wanting these formalities in place. In the realm of offenses... with this bunch...?? Lu barely scratches the surface? LOL.

Edited July 13, 2016 by Yours Truly

[shoegal]

1 minute ago, Yours Truly said:

When you check someone who needs to be check it looks like you're standing up for yourself.

I know it's MY responsibility to let a bitch know HOW I expected to be treated. That's the problem with the way things are sometimes. The only way people are allowed to speak up for themselves is only if it's not self serving. What the hell? People don't have to be mistreated over and over again before being allow to speak up about what they feel is respectful treatment. And considering Lu's assertion wasn't really some far fetched out of the scope of reality request to label her as some raging bitch seems to be backwards. I don't think people should be shy about what makes them comfortable. Hell if there was something about that exchange that Beth felt was off kilter it was well within her rights to counter Lu with whatever was on her mind about Lu's request and could have even gone as far as challenging Lu's reasoning about it. At least it would have been a mature dialogue instead of the ridiculous Countess shaming, or pretentious Lu middle school jabs that happen over and over again.

Not bothering to communicate the problem she may have had with Lu's declaration is also vomit inducing because then Beth brings it up disparagingly and uses it as a dig towards Lu. What the fuck does that make Beth?  A bitch child is what. Ridiculous. Having an issue with something, forming an opinion over the exchange and then referencing it in order to shame someone is rather unproductive. So all this, "the nerve" is so corny cause if something bothers you then call it out right then and there and discuss it. Kinda the way Lu did with Beth when she didn't hesitate to let her know how she prefers to be introduced. Straight to the point. Give me that any day instead of straight shooter Beth who looks stunned in the heat of a discussion, starts yanking obscenities out of the air and lashes out then afterwards has all this "insightful reasoning" about the encounter but while in it all she can express is vulgar, nasty, irrelevant insults that don't have anything to do with the issue at hand. But she's the one with some moral high ground and Lu is the one to be crucified cause she prefers Mrs. or Countess during introductions for whatever reason. I tell ya. Lu should have shrugged it off as no big deal well I shrug off Lu wanting these formalities in place. In the realm of offenses... with this bunch...?? Really? LOL.

If LuAnn thought being introduced to the driver by her first name was being "mistreated" then I will say it one more time. Fuck. That. Pretentious. Bitch.

...and the horse she rode in on!!!

[Natalie68]

4 minutes ago, shoegal said:

If LuAnn thought being introduced to the driver by her first name was being "mistreated" then I will say it one more time. Fuck. That. Pretentious. Bitch.

...and the horse she rode in on!!!

I personally think Lu should be more concerned how her BEHAVIOR on this reality show is perceived than any slight about being called the wrong name. Is it really worse to be called Luann instead of Mrs. Lesseps or Countess than having several of your one night stands shown on tv (or in Tom's case perhaps sloppy 3rds?)?  I personally don't care about what she does but she needs to lay off the airs.  Or if it was that BIG FUCKING DEAL how you were addressed have a word with your new coworkers off camera and say the Count will blow a gasket unless you address me as XYZ.  They all knew off camera Lu which did NOT square with on camera Lu.

[OhGromit]

Here's what Luann said.  (This was in SEASON ONE btw!)...  She said to Bethenny, in the backseat of the car after just being introduced to the driver as Luann, "if you introduce me to, like a driver, it's like, 'Mrs. de Lesseps.'  You know, like kids?  you know, like with kids, you know?"  

Okay, so that's arrogant and condescending.  And that is how it went down.  Look it up on hulu if you want.  

[motorcitymom65]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

And therein is the problem. She's allowed to be her as long as she's not mistreating anyone and it's done in situations where it's appropriate for the roles to be distinguished. I don't see why there has to be a stigma about it. I think the stigma should come when a person is abusive with it and not just because they decide to implement such a professional heirarchy in there lives with those within those roles to begin with. It's such an unnecessary waste of energy. To me it's a petty grievance to have. Now if Lu is walking into a hotel hallway and automatically starts barking orders at the staff to get her more towels while snapping her fingers then I could understand but just because she is comfortable utilizing those in the service industry in the manner that is INTENDED while deliberately maintaining a professional distance during her interactions with them doesn't strike me as out of the ordinary or even worthy criticism. 

I mean Ramona stays making the staff on ALL of their trips unpack for her and runs around issuing orders ON THE REGULAR and she gets less flak about her disrespectful ways. They giggle and do the whole "oh Ramona" but that shit isn't really funny. Ramona actually treats the help as they are beneath her in every way when they are on their trips to the point that they call in their preferences ahead of time. 1000 thread count sheets anyone???  Lu mentions her preferences and everyone is up in arms while Ramona practically snaps her fingers at the hotel staff on a regular basis. Makes me scratch my head.

Completely agree about Ramona. No one treats people who tend to her in whatever way as poorly as she does. I don't think she thinks about it, however, or has rules about it. I think she is just a bitch. 

I also agree with your point above, but in a different way - it's a petty grievance - but I think on Lu's part. It was important to her. It was a "thing" that needed to be addressed and it needed to be addressed immediatley, just in case something that horrendous should ever happen again. It is impossible for me to express how offended I would be for a co-worker to give me a lesson on manners, which by it's very nature is saying that my manners are lacking, or not up to par.  But as we have all come to realize, Lu has very specific rules for "the help", like the one she gave in her blog - don't pick them up in her kitchen. 

[Yours Truly]

9 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

I personally think Lu should be more concerned how her BEHAVIOR on this reality show is perceived than any slight about being called the wrong name. Is it really worse to be called Luann instead of Mrs. Lesseps or Countess than having several of your one night stands shown on tv (or in Tom's case perhaps sloppy 3rds?)?  I personally don't care about what she does but she needs to lay off the airs.  Or if it was that BIG FUCKING DEAL how you were addressed have a word with your new coworkers off camera and say the Count will blow a gasket unless you address me as XYZ.  They all knew off camera Lu which did NOT square with on camera Lu.

This example was actually in like season 2. Don't even remember why it was even relevant to bring up now actually.  But then again Beth is bringing up old news this season. No surprise this is still such an outrage that seems to be a timeless slight.

[motorcitymom65]

9 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

I personally think Lu should be more concerned how her BEHAVIOR on this reality show is perceived than any slight about being called the wrong name. Is it really worse to be called Luann instead of Mrs. Lesseps or Countess than having several of your one night stands shown on tv (or in Tom's case perhaps sloppy 3rds?)?  I personally don't care about what she does but she needs to lay off the airs.  Or if it was that BIG FUCKING DEAL how you were addressed have a word with your new coworkers off camera and say the Count will blow a gasket unless you address me as XYZ.  They all knew off camera Lu which did NOT square with on camera Lu.

Ain't this the truth.  If Lu could only go back to a simpler time, when her biggest issue with her costars was that they dared to introduce her by her first name. Back before her daughter was called a racist, and Lu a bad mother, a cheater, a liar, and a squirter. 

[Yours Truly]

26 minutes ago, shoegal said:

If LuAnn thought being introduced to the driver by her first name was being "mistreated" then I will say it one more time. Fuck. That. Pretentious. Bitch.

...and the horse she rode in on!!!

Ummm the point was that she didn't mistreat the driver by mentioning what she mentioned to Beth. It's a good thing Lu has that zero fucks down considering the intense emotions she invokes from her co-workers.

Edited July 13, 2016 by Yours Truly

[Yours Truly]

4 minutes ago, motorcitymom65 said:

Completely agree about Ramona. No one treats people who tend to her in whatever way as poorly as she does. I don't think she thinks about it, however, or has rules about it. I think she is just a bitch. 

I also agree with your point above, but in a different way - it's a petty grievance - but I think on Lu's part. It was important to her. It was a "thing" that needed to be addressed and it needed to be addressed immediatley, just in case something that horrendous should ever happen again. It is impossible for me to express how offended I would be for a co-worker to give me a lesson on manners, which by it's very nature is saying that my manners are lacking, or not up to par.  But as we have all come to realize, Lu has very specific rules for "the help", like the one she gave in her blog - don't pick them up in her kitchen. 

Whatever Lu's reasoning Beth wasn't on par. It's true. Beth is the truth talker right? But Lu being blunt about pointing out that she really should have introduced her more formally is something rude? I thought that's what Beth is all about. Telling it like it is even if it comes across a bit harsh. Now is it an awkward moment? Sure. Does that mean Lu is required to keep shut about something that made HER uncomfortable and would like for it to not happen again? No. Why, in this situation is Lu's comfort expendable. Why should Lu not express how she feels about it? Being corrected isn't fun, I know but at the same time what it boils down to is whose position is more "important" or should be "respected". I'm challenging the need to have Lu shut it when she really didn't have to. If that's how she feels she has every right to let Beth know and Beth had every right to maybe say, hey no worries, you sound a bit pretentious and I a little offended that you have such a classist attitude about it that's you're prerogative won't happen again.

See, I would have laughed my ass off had she done that. I'm not saying she can't be bothered by it but then fuck let her know the same fucking way Lu let's it be known. To expect someone else to filter themselves over petty nuances is ridiculous. If it's that much of an issue then say something in a productive way don't just start going off the rails not making sense and don't wait til later to condemn her behavior in a gossipy way. Corny as fuck. At least Lu is straight to the point with it.

[shoegal]

27 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

Ummm the point was that she didn't mistreat the driver by mentioning what she mentioned to Beth. It's a good thing Lu has that zero fucks down considering the intense emotions she invokes from her co-workers.

OK, well, semantics aside, she condescended to the driver, by whispering about how he should pay his respects to her like a child would an adult, behind his back of course, but on camera.

If LuAnn was that fucking offended, let her hire her own damn driver and he can address her as My Lady The Countess Mrs. Alexandre de Lesseps of the Upper East Side de Lesseps, Please Ma'am May I have Another. 

Until then, I'm going to call her Squirts.    

Edited July 13, 2016 by shoegal

[shoegal]

34 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

Whatever Lu's reasoning Beth wasn't on par. It's true. Beth is the truth talker right? But Lu being blunt about pointing out that she really should have introduced her more formally is something rude? I thought that's what Beth is all about. Telling it like it is even if it comes across a bit harsh. Now is it an awkward moment? Sure. Does that mean Lu is required to keep shut about something that made HER uncomfortable and would like for it to not happen again? No. Why, in this situation is Lu's comfort expendable. Why should Lu not express how she feels about it? Being corrected isn't fun, I know but at the same time what it boils down to is whose position is more "important" or should be "respected". I'm challenging the need to have Lu shut it when she really didn't have to. If that's how she feels she has every right to let Beth know and Beth had every right to maybe say, hey no worries, you sound a bit pretentious and I a little offended that you have such a classist attitude about it that's you're prerogative won't happen again.

See, I would have laughed my ass off had she done that. I'm not saying she can't be bothered by it but then fuck let her know the same fucking way Lu let's it be known. To expect someone else to filter themselves over petty nuances is ridiculous. If it's that much of an issue then say something in a productive way don't just start going off the rails not making sense and don't wait til later to condemn her behavior in a gossipy way. Corny as fuck. At least Lu is straight to the point with it.

If being introduced to the driver by her first name makes her that uncomfortable, I think the only thing that needs to be checked is her damn ego. 

[OhGromit]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

This example was actually in like season 2. Don't even remember why it was even relevant to bring up now actually.  But then again Beth is bringing up old news this season. No surprise this is still such an outrage that seems to be a timeless slight.

 It was season one.  Yeah, surprised this crusty old issue got dragged out with such passion, this horse died 7 years ago! 

Edited July 13, 2016 by OhGromit

[parisprincess]

Of course Bethenny treats her employees as family; after all, she has no other family. Remember, she was raised by wolves. I think she's very passive/aggressive with her driver. She talks about how he's her therapist, then tosses her bloody pillow to him to handle, without even a please or thank you. In another instance, when he offered his hand to help her out of the limo, she completely ignored and didn't even acknowledge the offer. Yes, she cries on his shoulder while he's driving her around town, but she's not that respectful towards him, as I imagine is the same with her other employees. It's sad that most of the people she considers her friends/family are the people who are paid to put up with her.

eta: One more thing. I hate the phrase "sloppy seconds". Haven't most of us been SOMEONE'S sloppy seconds at some point in our lives? I know I've never slept with a virgin.

Edited July 13, 2016 by parisprincess

[zoeysmom]

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

I personally think Lu should be more concerned how her BEHAVIOR on this reality show is perceived than any slight about being called the wrong name. Is it really worse to be called Luann instead of Mrs. Lesseps or Countess than having several of your one night stands shown on tv (or in Tom's case perhaps sloppy 3rds?)?  I personally don't care about what she does but she needs to lay off the airs.  Or if it was that BIG FUCKING DEAL how you were addressed have a word with your new coworkers off camera and say the Count will blow a gasket unless you address me as XYZ.  They all knew off camera Lu which did NOT square with on camera Lu.

This was way back in Season 1, where Bethenny was grasping for material on Luann.  There was Ramona arguing with her husband and telling him to shut up, Ramona freaking out when an invited Simon came to Jill's dinner and walking out in the middle of dinner, Jill walking out of fashion shows, Simon and Alex being pretentious in every sense of the word, and Bethenny getting drunk and proposing to her boyfriend, threatening to poke Jill's fucking eyes out, claiming she spoke French and then not understanding a word when at Simon and Alex's party and seated next to a French speaking man, having seven shots of tequila and then damning the quality of the tequila served aboard the cruise.  So in the big scope of things what seems to be remembered is Luann asked that Bethenny introduce her as Mrs. de Lesseps to a livery driver?  The first season I thought Luann came off as being the most couth.  There wasn't really a close second.  Apparently, Bethenny wanted to see her screaming and yelling at the Count or peeing on camera.

I think Bethenny's embarrassment stemmed from the manner in which Luann advised her.  Had Bethenny not acted so shocked about hearing that some people prefer to be introduced by their surname than their first name, I think it would have been a non-starter.  Luann didn't invent the concept.  I just always felt just because Bethenny had been in Luann's home and apparently made to feel comfortable didn't give her immunity for crossing boundaries of Luann's.   

Bethenny never got over the fact Luann was approached about writing an etiquette book.  I always took it as Bethenny thought  all business opportunities needed to be hers and hers alone.  Bethenny worked hard to bring Luann down over the idea of an etiquette book.  her many references to Luann not following her own etiquette, I am sure the same could be said for Bethenny and her diet books, and her stupid, "Place of Yes" mantra. 

[SCS]

9 minutes ago, parisprincess said:

Yes, she cries on his shoulder while he's driving her around town

...and the camera is there to capture every moment of The Suffering That is Bethenny.

[motorcitymom65]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

This example was actually in like season 2. Don't even remember why it was even relevant to bring up now actually.  But then again Beth is bringing up old news this season. No surprise this is still such an outrage that seems to be a timeless slight.

It was season 1, the final episode of the season. This descriptor talks about how Lu gives Beth a lesson on how to talk to "the help". 

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/season-1/girls-night-out

[parisprincess]

Quote

This was way back in Season 1, where Bethenny was grasping for material on Luann.  There was Ramona arguing with her husband and telling him to shut up, Ramona freaking out when an invited Simon came to Jill's dinner and walking out in the middle of dinner, Jill walking out of fashion shows, Simon and Alex being pretentious in every sense of the word, and Bethenny getting drunk and proposing to her boyfriend, threatening to poke Jill's fucking eyes out, claiming she spoke French and then not understanding a word when at Simon and Alex's party and seated next to a French speaking man, having seven shots of tequila and then damning the quality of the tequila served aboard the cruise.  So in the big scope of things what seems to be remembered is Luann asked that Bethenny introduce her as Mrs. de Lesseps to a livery driver?  The first season I thought Luann came off as being the most couth.  There wasn't really a close second.  Apparently, Bethenny wanted to see her screaming and yelling at the Count or peeing on camera.

So much this ^^^^  I totally agree with you zoeysmom. As many etiquette faux pas that both Ramona and Bethenny have made in the past, I can't believe that pages and pages have been devoted to Luann's Countess remark. Geez!!!