S11.E05: AGT Auditions Week 5

[Drogo]

The auditions continue.

[candall]

I have to marshal my thoughts about kids on this show while the young magician is still fresh in my mind.

I wrote a scathing criticism about how it's wrong to give the seniors a pass based on age instead of talent . . . and I think the same has to go for juniors.  I know it's different, because they're young and innocent and no one wants to see those eager little faces crushed . . . but what the hell are they doing up there in the first place?  How many screeners said, "Well, you're not very good, but it's just adorable that you're trying.  Passing you on!"

Master Chef Junior, Project Runway Junior,, DWTS Junior Competition--no other competition occasionally tosses in a talented ten-year old against a bunch of adults who (supposedly) have an advanced skillset.  That wouldn't be fair to the kid and it wouldn't be fair to the adults if a kid made it a few rungs up the ladder because he's a cutie pie.

If the next Charlotte Church shows up and blows the audience away, awesome.  Otherwise make a Junior version and level out the playing fields.

* * *

Ah!  Junior contortionist!  Mesmerizing, age irrelevant.

 

Whyyyyy EmCeeA!!!

Edited June 29, 2016 by candall

[helenamonster]

I too generally disapprove of precocious little crotch fruit (trademark Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) taking over the show with their cuteness, and the kid magician definitely wasn't that great, but I did like the set-up where the box said that he'd be turning his sister into a princess, and then changing it to say that he would chop her in half once she was inside. He also had some good coaching regarding the "pass me on to the next round and I'll put her back together" line.

Also, with the kids, that 14-year-old contortionist/hand-balancer/archer was INSANE. I definitely want to see more from her.

The homeschooled guy was pretty funny. It felt like he genuinely made the judges laugh, especially when he said the name of his song was "Ladies Man."

And I usually roll my eyes at sob stories, but damn if I didn't tear up at the OCD guy and his adorable dog.

And I absolutely cracked up at the YMCA guy. I figured he was gonna be doing some kind of Village People thing but that was such an awesome surprise. I'm really hoping he's not a one-trick pony and has a lot of other funny stuff up his sleeve.

[PhD-Purgatory15]

I'm not sure it bodes well for the episode when one of three most talented acts was the female clogging group that got hardcore glossed over...

I just can't with sword swallowers.

Little faked out with the last singer, I was expecting more of a Daughtry-esque rock vibe for some reason.

I wonder if the video clip that the young contortionist referenced seeing was actually Lilia Stepanova from one of first few seasons of AGT (with the Hoff on the panel) doing the foot archery shot that she replicated...

Other than that, I thought the singing couple had a real Vegas sound fwiw; The kid magician was pretty twee...but the sight gag was good at least, Ginger the dog was great, and while the YMCA guy isn't on Tape Face's level....he could still get one of the WTF spots they always seem to have room for.

Edited June 29, 2016 by PhD-Purgatory15

[parrotlover]

I was switching back and forth between this and To Tell The Truth during the second hour, and what was so bizarre is when AGT showed the very brief audition of the guy who did a painting with his very long tongue...I had just seen him a few minutes prior on To Tell The Truth. He was on there for being the person with the longest tongue in the Guiness Book of Records.

Edited June 29, 2016 by parrotlover

[Wings]

2 hours ago, helenamonster said:

I too generally disapprove of precocious little crotch fruit (trademark Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) taking over the show with their cuteness, and the kid magician definitely wasn't that great, but I did like the set-up where the box said that he'd be turning his sister into a princess, and then changing it to say that he would chop her in half once she was inside. He also had some good coaching regarding the "pass me on to the next round and I'll put her back together" line.

Also, with the kids, that 14-year-old contortionist/hand-balancer/archer was INSANE. I definitely want to see more from her.

The homeschooled guy was pretty funny. It felt like he genuinely made the judges laugh, especially when he said the name of his song was "Ladies Man."

And I usually roll my eyes at sob stories, but damn if I didn't tear up at the OCD guy and his adorable dog.

And I absolutely cracked up at the YMCA guy. I figured he was gonna be doing some kind of Village People thing but that was such an awesome surprise. I'm really hoping he's not a one-trick pony and has a lot of other funny stuff up his sleeve.

Yes. I agree. I also liked the guy who sang Somebody to Love and the black couple.  

Crotch fruit! I love you. 

I think the kid magician has twin sisters. 

Edited June 29, 2016 by wings707

[Lonesome Rhodes]

We got totally gypped by not seeing the knife jugglers who ended up with the spars flying out of their hands at the end.  Perhaps TPTB were saving them from a repetitive problem and/or the act would now get a "revelatory" reaction from the voters the next (first) time on stage.  

Instead, we got how many worthless minutes from blue-faced clown harassing Simon?  Just turrible.

I've seen contortion arrow acts before.  Big whup.  At least she wasn't singing while she shot.

The older singing couple were pretty good.  There are countless studio/session singers who can do what they did, though.  Great Motown song choice gave them points.

Piano boy was as funny as anything ever on AGT.  All parties played it really well.  It takes a LOT for me to actually laugh.  This got me.  

Sharon would have gone cray cray over the OCD guy/dog act.  It was cute, but not all that impressive to me.

If I am ever at a YMCA like that, someone please come save me.  I do, however, always appreciate an Eric Carmen All By Myself.  

The "driving to the show" open was well done.   There is some serious talent among the production and edit team.  And, the area around the auditorium really is confusing to navigate.

[candall]

I confess, I didn't even notice the young magician's sight gag.  I only focused until the extra-long box showed up and then I turned into Simon Cowell with the clowns:  nope.

I looked away from the sword swallower too, after the recitation of organs he'd punctured.

The thing about YMCA is that I'm really curious about what else he can deliver that would be as good.  No other synchronized group springs to mind . . . except maybe Gladys Knight's Pips?

Home-schooled was so open and puppy dog friendly, he was infectious.  Generally not a fan of clever lyrics music, but I remember inhaling my drink into my lungs and choking the first time I heard the Uncle Bonsai classic, Boys Want Sex In The Morning.

[stillhere1900]

Admit  it, who stood up and did the YMCA thing when he was preforming.  LOL 

It was genius ;-)

[Juneau Gal]

1 hour ago, stillhere1900 said:

Admit  it, who stood up and did the YMCA thing when he was preforming.  LOL 

It was genius ;-)

You can't help but to! I ran the NYC Marathon one year and along the way someone was playing the song over speakers. Will never forget the sight of thousands of runners doing the YMCA arm gestures while running. It's so damn catchy.  Can't wait to see what he does next. Perhaps the Temptations? Pips? Jackson 5? 

[helenamonster]

The singing couple kept referring to themselves as The Smiths, and I really hope they aren't planning on using that name professionally.

[Ohwell]

The Smiths were ok but I wasn't impressed.  I guess they were going for an Ashford & Simpson type act.  

[JMarie99]

The 14-year-old contortionist was actually my favorite. Of course, this is my first experience with this type of show, but I was really impressed. I loved it when she picked up the apple with her feet and bit into it. She and her parents seem like nice normal people. 

The song by the home-schooled guy cracked me up. I liked the singer who did the Queen song and the OCD guy with the dog, although they both had sob stories. I guess I'm turning into a softie. 

The sword swallower grossed me out. Yes it's impressive, but I just can't watch that stuff. 

Only someone as gorgeous as Heidi could get away with drinking garlic tea. Ugh!

[bluepiano]

On ‎6‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 8:01 PM, candall said:

II wrote a scathing criticism about how it's wrong to give the seniors a pass based on age instead of talent . . . and I think the same has to go for juniors.  

I've written about this too. It's so unfair that the kid acts are graded on a curve. Especially the singers and dancing acts. That 14 year old girl (who looked much older) who sang "Wild Horses" was terrible. At first I thought it was a joke audition, because she was just screaming and was nowhere near the melody. I had no idea what song it was until she got to the "wild horses" lyrics. But the judges went nuts for it.

But the 14 year old girl contortionist was amazing for any age. I hope she didn't use up all her best material. Being so young, I wonder how many different routines she's been able to develop.

Also liked the married couple who did the flips in the air and the YMCA guy (although I've seen similar acts). And the home school kid singer was amusing enough that I'd like to hear what else he has. (Though his song was largely a rip of Randy Newman's "Short People.")

So the girl who had cancer and the Sinatra wannabe got golden tickets, and the guy who closed the show singing Queen didn't? I'm not a huge fan of his singing style, or that song, but he's more talented than those others.

The sword swallower was boring. Nowhere near as entertaining as last season's regurgitating dude.

[Frankenstein123]

I've had a lingering feeling of dejav vu follow me throughout this season and this episode was no different. Maybe we've just reached a point now where it's hard to truly come up with something nea and unique, but a TON of acts the past few weeks have felt like slight variations of things we've seen done before. 

All that being said, the show continues to be immendely entertaining and the editing/pace of it is better than ever with them getting the judges goofing off vs good acts vs bad acts balance pretty spot on. So I remain hopeful for it equalling last year once we get to the live shows. 

Christopher. With the way One Direction is going, they might need to rent Christophers rig soon to actually put on a concert. Ah, Christopher...one of my earliest talent show memories. Grab your marshmallows and sit around the campfire, time to go back in time. Back when I was a younger couch potato there used to be a show called "30 seconds to fame", a talent show/kardashians prequel where people would compete in front of a live audience, trying to keep them entertained for 30 seconds. Christopher was one of the more fun and memorable winners so it was quite cool seing him pop up here. All that I've seen from the guy, he's a one trick pony, but it's a very entertaining trick I wouldn't mind seeing again. 

Kadan Bart Rockett. I spent most of my youth trying to make my sister disappear, but it never worked. If ONLY I had thought of the saw. This was pretty basic and brings to mind the question of how we should treat kid acts that objectively can't compete with adults, but it was cute and fun enough for the audition rounds. 

Pato and Ginger. We haven't really had a decent dog act SINCE the Olate dogs, right? As such, this was refreshingly fun to see, if not HIGHLY manipulative. Simon is also OBSESSED with dogs even more than Sharon, so expect him to go nuts once we hit the live shows.

Ryan Beard. Singing comedians tend to get a bad rap on this show, but this was fun and a great way to open the show. I can only hope he keeps this shtick up and by the look of his sweater, we don't need to too worried about him finding a mate and running out of material. 

Dan Meyer. I'm certifiably insane and masochistic so WAS watching the show back in season 3 when this guy tried to audtion and failed as a wild card. So immediately I was like "I remember this elderly fabio!" and he's certainly gotten even better. The only question acts like this bring is WHAT are they going to do next, he might have done himself a disservice by starting THIS strong. 

Throwings - I can only imagine their real names sounded like foreign sex toys if put together. It will be fun to see how they stack up to the Russian bar trio and the tripwire couple. 

Brian Justin Crum. Nice to see Brian get some time off from his busy broadway career and end up h..o..oh what? Bullied car driver? Oh, oh I'm ruining the story here. Sorry, sorry, I'll just shh. So Brian the bullied gay car driver making ends meet *winkwink* was a golden buzzer opportunity, but apparently Nick missed the memo. Now I have to admit his voice is excellent, but I think I've figured out what my main issue with most singers on this show is, and it's the fact that they are iften objectively great singers with inspiration stories, but little to no actual..personality or..style..or something that would draw me in. Maybe this just comes down to personal taste, but while I found Brian's voice to be top notch, he just failed to grab me in any way. Still, if any singer is going to make it far this season, he probably deserves it the most. 

I couldn't resist freezing the frame and check what we had in store next week and whatever it is, it looks bonkers. The last audition rounds are usually when the editors just give in to dementia and dial the crazy all the way up to 11, so it will be interesting.

Edited June 30, 2016 by Frankenstein123

[ketchuplover]

Seems like the only unscripted part of the show is the acts themselves. YMMV

[ketchuplover]

Has a male ever sat in the first few rows behind the judges?

[rr2911]

I agree that there should be a separate show for kids. Passing kids along because rejection will traumatize them is one of the reasons they shouldn't be on the show.

The best act for me of the night was the 14 year old contortionist.

The Smith's singing couple didn't do it for me. The sang well but the whole act seemed to rehearsed. Looking into each others eyes was too gimmicky for me.

Ryan Beard's performance was funny. I look forward to what else he has in store.

That couple where the man was throwing the woman was good but to me it's a "dead end act". What else are they going to do?

Pato and Ginger, another sob story that went through because of it. The dogs act was just average. I've seen better dog acts!

Brian Justin Crum has a good voice but why such a commotion? Was it because he's gay and they get a automatic pass? Was it because he was bullied? According to Frankenstein123, his story is made up?

Simon Cowell is a disappointment so far. The show should've brought back Pierce Morgan.

Please, please, please, please get rid of MelB!!

Until next time.... 

[candall]

42 minutes ago, rr2911 said:

Please, please, please, please get rid of MelB!!

This is my first watch; is she's new this year?  I hadn't taken any particular notice of her . . . until she asked the Smith couple:  "What are you guyses' names?"  Ouch.  Maybe smooth the rough edges off the basic questions when you get the moderator gig? 

[UsernameGoesHere]

17 hours ago, Frankenstein123 said:

Dan Meyer. I'm certifiably insane and masochistic so WAS watching the show back in season 3 when this guy tried to audtion and failed as a wild card.

Was he the one Hasselhoff buzzed as he was plunging a sword down his throat? That always pissed me off.

 

The tattooed clown was terrifying, but I did laugh at how awful the act was.

 

The dog act was cute, but it pales in comparison to the likes of Olate Dogs or Christian Stoinev.

 

Contortion girl was my favorite.

[Zuleikha]

Brian Justin Crum has a good voice but why such a commotion? Was it because he's gay and they get a automatic pass? Was it because he was bullied? According to Frankenstein123, his story is made up?

A quick Google search immediately turns up this article, which chronicles a very successful looking musical theater career starting as a senior in high school (he never actually graduated high school because he got cast in a touring production of Wicked). So if not made up, at least heavily edited and with plenty of omissions. I

[bluepiano]

If a guy has a successful professional theater career and they introduce him as a "nobody" who works as a car driver, that goes beyond producer manipulation. It's out-and-out lying, and it pisses me off. You should have enough respect for your audience not to lie to them.

They did that a couple of seasons ago with a middle-aged country singer, who they portrayed as a guy who just sang for friends on his front porch, when actually he'd recorded two albums in Nashville. That's one of what I'm sure are many examples.

In Kenichi Ebini's season, they didn't mention that he had an international performing career, but at least they didn't tell us he worked as a waiter or some other BS story. So that's slightly less offensive than the complete deception they're doing with Brian.

Obviously the producers want us to think these people are amateur wannabes to create more drama, and make the audience feel that they're part of "discovering" these unknown talents. But on The Voice they tell you the contestant's history, like in the case of the woman who was a back-up singer for Michael Jackson, and I don't think it makes the show any less enjoyable.

Edited July 3, 2016 by bluepiano

[backformore]

These undiscovered talent stories always crack me up, going back to Carrie Underwood, who was NOT the lil ole country gal who sang to the chickens and had never been off the farm, as her AI intro had told.  (she had already opened for big name performers in Nashville and Branson)

A very good friend of ours was featured on an entertainment news show once.  He had been a folk singer, appearing locally, for over a decade.  He sang at coffeehouses, bars, etc, and was fairly well-known in those circles.  He also had worked some other jobs along the way, none for very long, to make money as he pursued a recording contract.   One summer he worked for  a security company, making nightly rounds at some businesses, including a cemetery.  So, when we all got together to see the segment on a TV show about his upcoming CD, nobody could stop laughing, when he was described as a "former grave-digger" (accompanied by video of a cemetery).  Without explicitly saying so, the impression was a  laborer, digging graves as he sang his songs, then discovered by someone in the music business.    A hilarious exaggeration, but more interesting  than "guy sings at local joints for 15 years, finally  gets to put out  a CD".

I'm sure there are plenty of examples, but imagine the fiction writer who has the job of looking into a performer's history and finding something interesting to build a back story around.   Come on, Brian Crum, we know you've been doing this for a while, but  did anyone ever call you a name?   someone called you fat in 5th grade?   great - we'll go with "former victim of bullying finds the confidence to perform onstage."  Can we throw in that your mom is your hero?

[theatremouse]

Yeah, I've always found it weird that on the Voice they make a point of noting most of these people are professionals who just haven't hit it big yet and were invited to participate; whereas even though on AGT there is no rule that you can't have been a professional before they always pretend everyone is an unknown. Plenty of the comics shown on the show (not this season that I know of, but in general) have even had Comedy Central specials and other major TV appearances, but this show pretends they're total unknowns instead of steadily-working-but-not-hugely-famous people.

Edited July 5, 2016 by theatremouse

[Jordan27]

On ‎6‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 11:01 PM, candall said:

I have to marshal my thoughts about kids on this show while the young magician is still fresh in my mind.

I wrote a scathing criticism about how it's wrong to give the seniors a pass based on age instead of talent . . . and I think the same has to go for juniors.  I know it's different, because they're young and innocent and no one wants to see those eager little faces crushed . . . but what the hell are they doing up there in the first place?  How many screeners said, "Well, you're not very good, but it's just adorable that you're trying.  Passing you on!

So far, I haven't seen anyone do that.  What are you talking about?

On ‎6‎/‎29‎/‎2016 at 2:38 AM, wings707 said:

Yes. I agree. I also liked the guy who sang Somebody to Love and the black couple.  

Crotch fruit! I love you. 

I think the kid magician has twin sisters. 

Nope, that's not how he did it.

[AhFillAck]

The sawing trick was blatantly obvious. The audience's amount of gasping had me scratching my head. The "holes" in the cinder blocks were obviously not holes, just solid black squares. You can see through the holes in the bottom horizontal blocks, but not the top vertical ones.The first girl's legs and the second girl's top half fit down into the boxes/"blocks". Fine for school talent show, but a Vegas act? Or even national tv? Next, please.