I'm Gonna Have To Eat Every Fucking Chicken In This Room: The Quotes Topic

[joliefaire]

I've found on other sites its more fun to put this thread in the 'general' category rather than episode by episode, because this way, we all get to scroll backwards through the all the episodes, reminding ourselves who had what zingers throughout the season.

No Spoilers at all!  This thread is for your favorite zinger quotes after each episode airs.

Just getting ready for Sunday, is all.  dun-dun-dun!   :)

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I'm sad we are losing all the quotes from the first three seasons over on TWoP. There's already a new thread here for S4 quotes so I thought we should have a thread where we can post our old favorite quotes!

Littlefinger: Ahhh, the Starks. Quick tempers, slow minds.

[sev]

Daenerys: "Dracarys" :D

[joliefaire]

I'm sad we are losing all the quotes from the first three seasons over on TWoP. There's already a new thread here for S4 quotes so I thought we should have a thread where we can post our old favorite quotes!

Littlefinger: Ahhh, the Starks. Quick tempers, slow minds.

Perhaps copy-paste some of the old favorites to this thread?

[joliefaire]

One of my favorites:  

Hot Pie: I'm not a lord of Winterhell.
Arya: Its Winterfell !!
Hot Pie: Are you sure? 

 

Davos: You ever been in a boat before?

Gendry: No.

Davos: You know how to swim?

Gendry: No.

Davos: Don't fall out.

Edited April 5, 2014 by joliefaire

[Atia]

Tyrian upon being called a plump little lord.......looks at other person and says " do you think I'm plump? "

[captain1]

Joffrey - "Everyone is mine to torment"

[joliefaire]

Bran:  I hate your stories!

Old Nan:  I know a story about a boy who hates stories.

[sev]

Jaime: "I'm working on a gravity belt." ... wait, never mind.

Jaime: "So many vows... they make you swear and swear. Defend the king, obey the king, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak... But what if your father despises the king? What if the king massacres the innocent. It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or another."

[Conan Troutman]

Ramsay: "If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention."

The Hound: "Fuck Joffrey. Fuck the queen." 

[BlackberryJam]

Some of my favorites.

Drinking and lust, no man can match me in these things. I am the god of tits and wine.
- Tyrion Lannister

There are no men like me. Only me.
- Jaime Lannister

Explain to me why it is more noble to kill 10,000 men in battle than a dozen at dinner. - Tywin Lannister

 

I do love the Lannisters. 

 

 

 

[joliefaire]

Varys:  I'm not entirely sure what you're suggesting.

Tyrion:  And I'm entirely sure you're entirely sure what I'm suggesting.

[joliefaire]

Jaime:  I suppose you want the sword back?

Tywin:  Keep it.  A one-handed man with no family needs all the help he can get.

(sigh...Daddy Dearest)

 

The Hound:  What the fuck is a Lommy?

Edited April 7, 2014 by joliefaire

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Cersei: You jealous?

Jaime: Surprised. You never let Pycelle near you.

Cersei: You think I'd let that old lecher put his hands one me? He smells like a dead cat.

Jaime: I'm not sure I've ever smelled a dead cat.

Cersei: Well, they smell like Pycelle.

Jon: Do you intend to execute me or am I free to go?

Maester Aemon: None of us are free. We are men of the night's watch.

Margaery: Perhaps I should just let Joffrey choose [a necklace] for me. End up with a string of dead sparrowheads around my neck.

Olenna: I hear you knocked my grandson into the dirt like the silly little boy he is.

Ser Meryn: The people love their king. They know who keeps them fed.

Jaime: Margaery Tyrell, I've heard.

Joffrey: I broke Stannis on the Blackwater. Pity you weren't there to help, uncle.

Jaime: My apologies, your grace. I was rather busy.

Joffrey: Busy getting captured.

Jaime: Are you sure we're not related? Ever since I've returned, every Lannister I've seen has been a miserable pain in my ass. Maybe you're a Lannister too. You've got the hair for it but not the looks.

Hound: Little lady wants a pony.

Arya: Little lady wants away from your stench.

Arya: Why don't you have any money? Didn't you steal anything from Joffrey before you left?

Hound: No.

Arya: You're not very smart, are you?

Hound: I'm not a thief.

Arya: You're fine with murdering little boys but thieving is beneath you?

Hound: Man's gotta have a code.

Hound: Needle. Of course you named your sword.

Arya: Lots of people name their swords.

Hound: Lots of cunts.

Edited April 7, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[joliefaire]

Polliver:  "You're willing to die for a chicken?"

Sandor: "Someone will."

[Popples]

Bronn: "There's no cure for being a cunt."

Robb Stark: "This one was only the watcher. Hang him last so he can watch the others die."

[Pickles Aplenty]

 

The Hound:  What the fuck is a Lommy?

Hound: Needle. Of course you named your sword.

Arya: Lots of people name their swords.

Hound: Lots of cunts.

Man, I love the Hound.  My two favorite quotes of the night, if not the whole series.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Tyrion Lannister: The Mad King did as he liked. Has your uncle Jaime ever told you what happened to him?

Meryn Trant: No one threatens his grace in the presence of the Kingsguard!

Tyrion Lannister: I'm not threatening the king, Ser. I'm educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time the Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. THAT was a threat. See the difference?

Melisandre: You should kneel before your brother. He's the Lord's chosen, born amidst salt and smoke.

Renly Baratheon: "Born amidst salt and smoke." Is he a ham?

Roose Bolton: In my family, we say, "A naked man has few secrets. A flayed man none."

[joliefaire]

(After the awkward arrival of the Martell contingent)

Bronn:  Nice bit of diplomacy.  Now where?

Tyrion:  We've got to find Prince Oberyn, before he kills someone.  Or several someones.

[sev]

Littlefinger: "Do you want to be a queen?"
Margaery: "No. I want to be the queen."

Daenerys: "I'm not your little princess, I'm Daenerys Stormborn [ ... blah blah] and I will take what is mine. With fire and blood, I will take it!"
Spice King: "Yes, my lady, but not with my ships."

Jaqen: "A girl lacks honor."
Arya: *shrug*

Edited April 12, 2014 by sev

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Shae: Why should I make up a story when I know the truth?

Sansa: Because the truth is always either terrible or boring.

[joliefaire]

Jaime:  You won't marry her.

Loras:  Neither will you.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Melisandre: There's only one hell, princess - the one we live in now.

Sansa: We have a new queen.

Tyrion: Better her than you.

Tywin: People who spend their money on this sort of nonsense tend not to have it for long.

Olenna: You ought to try enjoying something before you die.

Tyrion: A toast to the proud Lannister children: the dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness.

Oberyn: Helloooo.

Tyrion: Hello.

Oberyn: Not you.

Margaery: Look, the pie!

Jaime: Are you looking forward to your wedding?

Loras: Yes, very much.

Jaime: Our fathers are both rather keen on the prospect.

Loras: They certainly are.

Jaime: Perhaps they should get married.

Bronn: Go drink until it feels like you did the right thing.

Edited April 14, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[mac123x]

Jaime:  You won't marry her.

Loras:  Neither will you.

Someone in the non-spoiled thread heard it as:

Jaime:  She'll never marry you.

Loras:  Neither will you.

That's the way I heard it too, which I thought was weird since it sounded like Loras was saying "you won't marry me."  I thought I misheard, but on watching it again he did say it that way.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Tyrion: Breakfasting with the king?
Varys: I'm afraid foreigners aren't welcome at such exclusive affairs.
Tyrion: Oh to be foreign.

[Lady S.]

Varys: I've always hated the bells. They ring for horror ... a dead king, a city under siege.

Tyrion: A wedding.

Varys: Exactly.

[Izzyboy]

The Hound: I understand that if any more words come pouring out of your cunt mouth...I'm gonna have to eat every fucking chicken in this room.

[KurlyGrl]

Two old quotes here.  Not verbatim, so excuse me. 

Varys upon his meeting with Lady Olena in the garden. 

V – May I sit?
LO – No.

Lady Olena discussing wedding matters with Tywin.

LO – Oh, a little discreet diddling is nothing.  But a brother and sister, well now……

LO – So, you’ve never……..
TL  - No, I have not.

[KurlyGrl]

Lady Olena upon meeting Brienne for the first time. 

"You are absolutely singular!"

[OakGoblinFly]

Cersei: The leftovers will feed the dogs, or you will

 

It was all in Lena Headly's delivery.

[Lady S.]

Arya: Lots of people name their swords.

The Hound: Lots of cunts.

(He likely witnessed Joff naming his two previous swords.)

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Littlefinger: Money buys a man's silence for a time but a bolt in the heart buys it forever.

Little finger: He was a drunk and a fool and I don't trust drunk fools.

[GreyBunny]

My favorite exchange of the entire season by two characters I adore:

Shireen: You were a pirate once.
Davos: No, I was never a pirate, I was a smuggler.
Shireen: What's the difference?
Davos: If you're a famous smuggler you're not doing it right.
Shireen: My father says a criminal's a criminal.
Davos: Your father lacks an appreciation of the finer points of bad behavior.

[OakGoblinFly]

Jamie: You’re a hateful woman. Why have the gods made me love a hateful woman?

Tyrion: Whenever something bad happens to me, I assume it’s my sister that had a hand in it.

[KurlyGrl]

Shireen to Davos:  Let's see how smart you look when you pronounce the word kuniggets instead of Knights.  

[OakGoblinFly]

Tywin: Your brother was not a wise king, your brother was not a good king; if he had been perhaps he'd still be alive

[joliefaire]

Littlefinger:  I risk everything, to get what I want.
Sansa:  What do you want?
Littlefinger:  Everything.

[joliefaire]

Jaime: I'm the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.

 

Tyrion: Sorry, I'd forgotten. I'd hate for you to do something inappropriate.

 

(I want Jaime and Tyrion to be my brothers)

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jaime: What the hell was that?
Bronn: That was me knocking your ass to the dirt with your own hand.

 

Jaime: To tell you the truth, this isn't so bad. Four walls, a pot to piss in. I was chained to a wooden post covered in my own shit for months.
Tyrion: Is that supposed to make me feel better?
Jaime: Maybe a bit.

 

Jaime: Her son died in her arms.
Tyrion: Her son?
Jaime: Don't.

Tyrion: The Kingslayer brothers. Do you like it? I like it. Are you really asking if I killed your son?
Jaime: Are you really asking if I'd kill my brother?

 

Jaime: What do you want me to do? Kill the guards? Sneak you out of the city in the back of a cart? I'm the lord commander of the kingsguard.
Tyrion: Sorry, I'd forgotten. I'd hate for you to do something inappropriate.

[JTMacc99]

Tyrion: "Sansa is not a killer... At least not yet."

[CountryGirl]

GoT is an embarrassment of riches when it comes to amazing lines, but this one is probably my favorite.

 

It's Catelyn, speaking to Renly, about his so-called army.

 

"Because they are the knights of summer and winter is coming."

Edited May 2, 2014 by CountryGirl

[joliefaire]

SweetRobin:  I wanted to make the little Lannister baby man fly, but mother said I couldn't.

 

(Cripes, who's freakier at the Eyrie, mommy Lysa or kiddie Robin??)

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Margaery: We may be faced with an alarming number of weddings soon. I won't even know what to call you. Sister? Or mother?

 

Tywin: When will the wedding take place?

Cersei: As soon as decency permits. After we've given Tommen the appropriate time to mourn his brother. And Margaery to mourn her husband.

Tywin: A fortnight?
Cersei: That seems reasonable.

 

The Hound: Would you shut up?

Arya: I can't sleep until I say the names.

The Hound: The names of every fucking person in Westeros?

Arya: Only the ones I'm going to kill.

The Hound: Hate's as good a thing as any to keep a person going. Better than most. We come across my brother, maybe we can both cross a name off our list.

 

The Hound: Your friend's dead and Meryn Trant's not cause Trant had armor and a big fucking sword.

 

Cersei: Gods love their stupid jokes, don't they?

Oberyn: What joke is that?

Cersei: You're a prince of Dorne, a legendary fighter, a brilliant man feared throughout Westeros. But you could not save your sister. I am a Lannister, queen for nineteen years, daughter of the most powerful man alive but I could not save my son. What good is power if you cannot protect the ones you love?

Oberyn: We can avenge them.

Cersei: Yes, we can avenge them.

 

Oberyn: We don't hurt little girls in Dorne.

Cersei: Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls.

 

Brianne: Did you remove the skin?

Podrick: No, milady.

Brienne: Have you ever cooked a rabbit before?

Podrick: No, milady.

Brienne: Did you ever cook anything for Lord Tyrion?

Podrick: No, milady. That was the cooks.

[KurlyGrl]

The Hound to Arya. - Go ahead then.  Say the last name. 

 

Arya. - The Hound. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Banker: In Braavos, thieves are not rewarded with title.
Davos: Strictly speaking, I didn't do the thieving. That would be the pirates. I just moved what they stole from one place to another.

 

Oberyn: So does this mean I am the master of something now? Coins, ships -
Mace: Lord Tywin and I already determined that I should be the master of ships.

 

Oberyn: I have been to Essos and seen the Unsullied firsthand. They are very impressive on the battlefield, less so in the bedroom.

 

Oberyn: It is a big and beautiful world. Most of us live and die in the same corner where we were born and never get to see any of it. I don't want to be most of us.
Varys: Most of us aren't princes.
Oberyn: You are from Essos. Where? Lys? I have an ear for accents.
Varys. I've lost my accent entirely.
Oberyn: I have an ear for that as well.

 

Varys: When I see what desire does to people, what it's done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it.

 

Tyrion: Let me guess. I've been pardoned.

 

Tywin: How would you say [Joffrey] died then?
Tyrion: Choked on his pigeon pie.
Tywin: So you would blame the bakers?
Tyrion: Or the pigeons. Just leave me out of it.

 

Shae: "You belong to me now," he said. "I want you to fuck me like it's my last night in this world."
Tywin: Silence. SILENCE!
Oberyn: And did you?
Shae: Did I what?
Oberyn: Fuck him like it was his last night in this world.

 

Tywin: Do you wish to confess?

Tyrion: Yes, father. I'm guilty. Guilty. Is that what you want to hear?
Tywin: You admit you poisoned the king?
Tyrion: No, of that I'm innocent. I'm guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I am guilty of being a dwarf.
Tywin: You are not on trial for being a dwarf.
Tyrion: Oh, yes, I am. I've been on trial for that my entire life.
Tywin: Have you nothing to say in your defense?
Tyrion: Nothing but this: I did not do it. I did not kill Joffrey but I wish that I had. Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores. I wish I was the monster you think I am.

Edited May 12, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Tyrion: You're the golden son. You could kill a king, lose a hand, fuck your own sister. You'll always be the golden son.

 

Jaime: I thought you were a realist. I didn't realize you'd die for pride.

 

Tyrion: Where's your sense of adventure? Even if you lose, imagine the look on father's face when you fall. Our family name snuffed out with a single swing of the sword.

Jaime: It is tempting.

 

Arya: So why go on?

Red shirt: Habit.
Arya: Nothing could be worse than this.

Red shirt: Maybe nothing is worse than this.

Arya: Nothing isn't better or worse than anything. Nothing is just nothing.

 

Tyrion: [Lolas Stokeworth] is dimwitted.
Bronn: If I wanted wits, I'd marry you.

 

Bronn: You once said if anyone ever asked me to sell you out, you'd double their price.

Tyrion: Is it two wives you want or two castles?

 

Bronn: If I gave you the choice between fucking Lolas and fighting the Mountain, you'd have your britches down and your cock up before I could blink.

 

Bronn: I like you, impish little shit that you are. I just like myself more.

Tyrion: I understand.

Bronn: I'm sorry it has to be this way.

Tyrion: Why are you sorry? Because you're an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart? That's what I liked about you in the first place.

 

Tyrion: Making honest feelings do dishonest work is one of [Cersei]'s many gifts.

Oberyn: It is rare to meet a Lannister who shares my enthusiasm for dead Lannisters.

 

Oberyn: Our father brought me and my sister Elia with him on a visit to Casterly Rock. My first time away from Dorne. I didn't like anything about the Rock: not the food, not the weather, not your accents, nothing. But the biggest disappointment: you.

Tyrion: You and my family have more in common than you might admit.

Oberyn: The whole way from Dorne, all anyone talked about was the monster that had been born to Tywin Lannister. A head twice the size of his body, a tail between his legs, claws, one red eye, the privates of both a girl and a boy.

Tyrion: That would have made things so much easier.

Oberyn: When we met your sister, she promised she would show you to us. Every day we would ask. Every day she would say, "Soon." Then she and your brother took us to your nursery and she unveiled the freak. Your head was a bit large, your arms and legs were a bit small, but no claw, no red eye, no tail between your legs, just a tiny pink cock. We didn't try to hide our disappointment. "That's not a monster," I told Cersei. "That's just a baby." And she said, "He killed my mother." And she pinched your little cock so hard I thought she might pull it off until your brother made her stop. "It doesn't matter," she told us. "Everyone says he will die soon. I hope they are right. He should not have lived this long."

 

Tyrion: If you want justice, you've come to the wrong place.

 

Sansa: I hit [Robin].

Littlefinger: Yes, I saw.

Sansa: I shouldn't have done that.

Littlefinger. No. His mother should have. A long time ago. Consider it a step in the right direction.

Sansa: I was trying to remember what [Winterfell] looked like. I'll never see it again.

Littlefinger: A lot can happen between now and never. If you want to build a better home, first you must demolish the old one.

 

Lysa: [sansa]'s just like her mother. She'll never love you.

 

Littlefinger: I have only loved one woman, only one my entire life. Your sister.

Edited May 19, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[KurlyGrl]

Hotpie.  It's all in the gravy. 

[ebevan91]

"But what about what I want?"

 

and a few seconds later:

 

"I will begin with Ser Gregor Clegane"

 

The goosebumps, man.

[OakGoblinFly]

Brienne: You're not interesting enough to be offensive,

 

 

 

 

Oberyn: I will be your champion <- Pascal's delivery with Dinklage's reaction gave me goosebumps.

Edited May 19, 2014 by OakGoblinFly

[mac123x]

(I can't remember the exact wording)

Brienne:  So what happened to Arya?

Hot Pie: We--

Brienne:  The short version.

 

Brienne [to Pod]:  ...you were saying?

 

The written dialog doesn't do justice to her line delivery