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S03.E00: Matchmaking Special / S03.E01: Wedding Preparations


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Tres was very clear about the hurt and abandonment he felt when Mother split with his older sister. He said his sister "looks almost 100% white," and he felt that was the reason Mother took her after the divorce, but left 3-year-old Tres behind.

 

I wasn't sure if grams and aunties disapproved of Mother from day one, or if they turned on her after she abandoned her son?

You know, families' marriage, divorce and custody issues are ALWAYS more complicated and multilayered than children can comprehend. For example it wouldn't surprise me to learn that Mother took daughter and Father kept son based more on gender and pride. But whatever the Truth, Tres's hurt in what he believes is palpable.

 

I agree 100% with this. Tres believes what his father's family has told him: that his mother took his (lighter) sister and left him behind because she is racist. 

But what racist white woman would have 2 children with a black lover, in the first place? That just doesn't make sense. 

 

Tres also said that his father was 'in and out' of his life, implying that they weren't really close. Perhaps he was also 'in and out' of the mother's life. Perhaps 'daddy dearest' was a cheater, an abuser, or whatever. Perhaps he was one of those controlling men, and the only way he would allow the woman to leave him is if she left her son behind with his family. We don't know. We only know that Tres believes what his father's family has told him.

 

But the truth really doesn't matter. What matters is that Tres is very, very deeply hurt by his mom's abandonment, and that might affect his ability to be responsible and considerate and caring and monogamous in a marriage. 

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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Tres background seems complicated....

 

 

This character has lots of potential for 'The First Year', he could hunt down family members who expressed no interest in him for years.

 

Hope he and his wife make it.

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Regardless as to what was going on with his family, you birthed that baby, and you suck it up. You don't separate the siblings and leave him behind like he isn't your blood and child. If that happened to me, I'd be all kinds of messed up and on a shrink's couch for years.

 

Especially leaving your son behind when you very likely know his father won't be able to care for him. Tres said his aunt had basically raised him. Sigh. And can you imagine his sister's life? Does she even know her brother or  her father's family? Has she been she trying, or being made to, pass for white her whole life?

 

Tres mentioned more than once that, if his own mother could abandon him, anyone could. Okay, then! Let's put a man with deep and wounding trust issues into an arranged marriage!

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I actually enjoyed the show and was not as bitter and cynical as I thought I'd be after least season.  (however I kept re-playing the Davina/Sean match in my head and got pissed-off all over again esp. how they disregarded her deal-breaker)  but I digress...  

 

There is something about David and Tre that reads too immature for their matches.  I like them, but they seem 'uncooked" especially Tre.  Strange since Neil is the goofy one, but yet he seems more 'ready'..   I have more hope for his marriage to Sam, but I fear lack of sexual sparks.  Neither appear very sexual in nature --at least to me

Ashley and David??  whoa--I'd be surprised if they got thru the honeymoon period!   She is SUCH a stick-in-the mud--and not only about the strippers.  She's just plain dull and WAY too serious.   I can't see her laughing, being flirty and silly--   like she has the Jamie fear of irresponsiblity on steroids.  She totally turned me off. I'm actually hurting for David already.

 

Vanessa and Tre;  Tre has been loved and adored by his Aunts and grandma,  which is a great thing considering his abandonment.from Mom.  However, he may have been coddled and a bit spoiled.  I'm not convinced he's an independent 'man' yet , and ready to relate to a woman as a wife and an equal.  

 

Women mature faster overall..  I think Vanessa would do better with someone a little older.   I actually think she could match well with Vaugn (S1)  I'm probably in the minority but I could not stand Monet in her season.  I'm not against a good romp in the hay just for the fun of it, but she was a total romance killer.  

 

I hope the experts and the show get honest this season about how much living together these couples actually do and not insult us with the cover-ups they did last season.

 

PS  I just saw the matchmaking special where they say that David wants someone who is warm and affectionate!!  Great.. matched with cold-fish Ashley!!  Maybe I'm wrong about her--we'll see

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I actually enjoyed the show and was not as bitter and cynical as I thought I'd be after least season.  (however I kept re-playing the Davina/Sean match in my head and got pissed-off all over again esp. how they disregarded her deal-breaker)  but I digress...

 

 

Sean also lied and said he was open to moving.  The truth is that Sean presented himself in a certain way to get on the show, but actually had no intention of taking the relationship seriously. 

However, if the "experts" had any skills, they should have been able to smell his bullshit from a mile away, so I get your point.

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Sean also lied and said he was open to moving.  The truth is that Sean presented himself in a certain way to get on the show, but actually had no intention of taking the relationship seriously. 

However, if the "experts" had any skills, they should have been able to smell his bullshit from a mile away, so I get your point.

That's true..I forgot his role in that.  Agreed, he shouldn't have been matched with anyone. And scared of the "Oooh..big city!!"  ..pathetic.  

 

Ashley in more coming attractions I saw on a S1 repeat.  What a robotic, cold, dead fish.  They couldn't see she had ZERO personality or warmth??  My guess is  she hides behind religion and her education as an excuse to be a condescending,stuck-up miserable buzz-kill.  (but of course  now can't wait to see the reception and honeymoon) 

Edited by seasick
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Ok I finally had a chance to watch this today. I will never understand the reasoning for matching certain people together. Why on earth do you put 2 people together that have had parents leave them? I have to say with Tres I do wonder what the real story is. As was said they aren't always told the truth as kids on what really happened to a parent for them to not be around in their life. With how his one Aunt acted when she saw his bride to be come out I have a feeling there is really a lot more to the story for why his mom and sibling were gone. Her calling him her son. It just rubbed me the wrong way. Vanessa seems more together about things though. She may have issues over no daddy but is just stronger and been able to move past it all...or maybe just knows the truth on things so its easier for her. Oh heck maybe just good at hiding it all. LOL I think if he doesn't get over things and do some growing up they won't make it to far over his being so insecure about being left. 

   I know it was mentioned on the eyes of that one guy (Neil?). If he doesn't get all wide eyed he looks normal but once those eyes are opened up like that he reminds me of a crazy person. A little freaky to me. He also comes off a little social awkward so far. Will be interesting to see how this one plays out. I did like how he asked his Grandmother about how it was being arranged. It is different with this but still arranged in just an odd way. 

   OMG that last one. David comes off more open and fun and she (forgot her name) is just coming off like a stick in the mud. Unless those guys were starting to dance to music she could have let them serve her dress..then if that started up she could having nice just said can we not do this please if she really wasn't ok with it. Even if the cameras were not around I have a feeling she still would have acted this way. Maybe he can bring out something in her to make her come off as fun. 

   I'm looking forward to watching this season. Last one was so bad. Even if these ones don't make it they are so far coming off better than season 2. I agree about the places they are being married at...its nice to have it in different settings and not in a hotel.

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I have a question: if a man left his wife and took his son with him (who looked more like him) -- but left behind the daughter -- would that be just as bad as if the mother did it?

 

To me, it is the same.

 

I'm not sure, though, if it is worse to abandon both children, or to take one and leave the other behind. Seems pretty awful either way.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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I noticed that during the segment where the panel discussed potential matches, they considered other partners for ALL the participants EXCEPT for Neil. I believe it was Tres/Shaquita; Ashley/Jeremy; Vanessa/Nate; David/Jordan (and David/Samantha). Curious as to why that might be. Perhaps because he wasn't easy to match (based on the pool of participants they had)? 

 

I also wonder if Erica might have been on track to be with Tres if she hadn't dropped out. 

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I read that Tres mother took her daughter who looks white and left Tres who looks black because of her family.  She did this because her family would not accept a black child.  This is not uncommon behavior in the South from a generation that is racist.  If she could not support the children on her own this might have been her only option.  I am not taking up for her because it is a sad situation for Tres but he was probably raised much better living with his black relatives.

Edited by tinypeanut
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So, the show is replaying and I just heard the synopsis by Trey of his family issues. The summary on this site is incorrect. It was his mother's family that rejected the interracial relationship. So, his mother took her daughter with her because she presents as white instead of biracial or black and left Trey with his father. It is presented the other way around on this site.

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I want them all to succeed so badly! Anyone else having a hard time not peeking at the spoiler thread?

I'm still on the fence over who is being honest and sincere. The white guy Dave seems a bit too over the top, but I so very much hope he is for real!

Informative link to S03 backgrounds:

http://nypost.com/2015/11/30/meet-the-new-married-at-first-sight-singles-attempting-to-find-wedded-bliss/

Edited by Zanne505
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Thanks sleekandchic. The episode did not have my full attention; it was way too long and boring. So mom took the daughter and left him behind. Ouch. That is tragic.

So tell me, what did you hear? Did he specifically say he wanted a white woman? A black woman? Or did not have a preference?

Thanks in advance!

Tres was up for absolutely any race. I think that's the sole reason why he was selected for this show. The experts made it sound like every other black guy only wanted a white woman, and they said it was important for them to have an African American couple on the show. Because Tres was apparently the only black guy not ruling out a black woman, they suggested a few different black women for him and settled on Vanessa. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Vanessa would "need" to go on this show--she's smoking hot and seems to have her life together. But I know Atlanta has a very high percentage of young women to men--like 2 to 1 I've heard (years ago). And if the majority of the black guys there want white women and she only wants a black man, then I can see how the odds of finding someone in that city aren't in her favor.

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The experts basically admitted that they needed a black couple on the show this season. They have a mixed couple, but Sam and Neil look Caucasian-ish, especially after Neil's shave. It's kind of funny, because it seems like numbers-wise, it would be easier to get a Black man plus White woman or something close. 

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