The Favorite Quotes Thread Excitation

[MaryHedwig]

Any line delivered by Bob Newhart including:

Mr. Proton (Bob Newhart) asks Leonard if Sheldon is special.

L: He's a genius.

Mr. P. figures out the Penny is Leonard's girlfriend.

Mr. P to L: (with his iconic comedic pause) You're the genius!

[marinite]

Sheldon:" I could grow my own Nimoy!"

His incredulous reaction to that gift is one of my favorite moments. Also, there was some audience member with a whooping high-pitched laugh that totally made me lose it.

[marinite]

Sheldon: *knock knock knock*

Penny: (on the other side of her apartment door) 'Who do you love?!"

Sheldon: Penny? 

(and 2 more times).  Cracked me up.

[riley702]

His incredulous reaction to that gift is one of my favorite moments. Also, there was some audience member with a whooping high-pitched laugh that totally made me lose it.

As Penny reacts incredulously to him showering her with ALL the gift baskets, he says "You're right - it's not enough, is it?" And I cracked up again.

[cosmic1]

Sheldon: *knock knock knock*

Penny: (on the other side of her apartment door) 'Who do you love?!"

Sheldon: Penny?

(and 2 more times).  Cracked me up.

 

 

I love these little skits.  They are so awesome.

Edited April 15, 2014 by cosmic1

[ari333]

Sheldon to Penny: "Always go where the wind takes you... as long as you remain attached to a rigid pole. " [/Fun with Flags]

[anstar]

Leonard (trying to get Sheldon to leave Penny's apartment in the middle of the night): Sheldon, this is not your home!
Sheldon: This isn't anyone's 'home'. This is a swirling vortex of entropy.

 

I tell my teenage son his room is a swirling vortex of entropy all the time.  :p

[Winston Wolfe]

From the Jiminy Conjecture:

Raj to Sheldon, Howard and Leonard: Insects creep me out.

Sheldon: Interesting.  You're afraid of insects and women.  Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

[ari333]

Howard: "On Sundays, Raj and I usually go down to the Farmer's Market and scam on hippie chicks."

Edited April 16, 2014 by ari333

[MMLEsq]

From The Pancake Batter Anomaly:

Sheldon: Wait, put this in the bathroom.
Leonard: What for?
Sheldon: I need to measure my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.
Leonard: I mix pancake batter in this!
Sheldon: No, that measuring cup has always been for urine.
Leonard: You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment, including the label maker, but you didn't have ten seconds to make a label that said "urine cup"?
Sheldon: It's right here on the bottom.
Leonard: Huh, I guess I owe the Betty Crocker Company a letter of apology.

[anstar]

Sheldon: So, you're saying this is a regulation deck?
Howard: I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle!

[Rhetorica]

Leonard to Sheldon after Amy asks Sheldon to meet her mother:

What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis....

screwed

[babyhouseman]

Saw this episode today and love this dialogue:

Sheldon Cooper: Include me in what? Is there a plot afoot? I'll have no truck with plots.

Penny: [to Leonard] No, you're right.

[to Sheldon]

Penny: No, there's, there's no plot, no trucks, no... feet.

[ari333]

Sheldon: "The university wouldn't let me bring the equipment to the Cheesecake Factory freezer because apparently I'm ri-DIC-ulous. "

(The delivery is what really sells it.)

Edited April 20, 2014 by ari333

[anstar]

Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.

[kat165]

Penny changes her shampoo from Green Apple to Coconut. Sheldon notices and says, "Coconut? What were you thinking? Are you a hula girl?"

[riley702]

A moaning Sheldon wakes up Leonard. When he asks what's wrong, Sheldon replies: "I have pain radiating from my navel to my lower right abdomen. I'm nauseated and feverish - I believe I may have cholera."

Assured that there is no cholera in Pasadena, Sheldon says, "Well, if it's not cholera, then based on a quick internet search, the other explanations, in decreasing order of likelihood are Hirschsprung's disease, botulism, a 30-foot tapeworm, or accidental ingestion of chrysanthemum blossoms."

Leonard asks, "When would you have accidentally eaten chrysanthemum blossoms?", and Sheldon responds, "It's part of an unlikely scenario that involves sleepwalking in a 24-hour flower mart with a less-than-vigilent proprietor."

After ripping a massive fart, he says, "Or maybe it was the Brussel's sprouts."

Edited April 21, 2014 by riley702

[barbedwire]

From the Adhesive Duck Deficiency:

When Leonard, Raj and Howard are high at the campgrounds: Leonard "Even my name has the word 'nerd' in it!"

And the episode when Sheldon runs home and stays at his mom.  The guys show up to talk him into coming home and mom (Lori Metcalf) tells Sheldon he won't be teaching evolution there, only creation, and he gets disgusted and agrees to go home.  Pan to her and she says "Don't tell me prayer doesn't work."

 

LOL

 

 

[ari333]

Amy: "I love, 'Little House;' I loved it so much as a kid I tried to milk my cat. .....A tangy bowl of Cheerios was not worth the stitches."

[Midru]

Almost any line from Zack could be in here, but this is one of my favorites:

It's a surprise party- it doesn't matter when we get there

 

Also this:

 

"all soaped up and no place to go"

[MaryHedwig]

Mary Cooper: By His Hand we are all                        Sheldon: fed

Mary Cooper: Give us Lord our daily                        Sheldon: bread

Mary Cooper: Please know that we are truly             Sheldon: grateful

Mary Cooper: For every cup and every                    Sheldon: plateful

Edited April 23, 2014 by MaryHedwig

[barbedwire]

My dd said that prayer on Thanksgiving.  It was hard for me not to laugh.  Relatives didn't know where the prayer came from.

 

Another great moment:  Howard signing the Bernadette song.  I still go back and find it on youtube and listen to it.  SO great!

[leighdear]

When Sheldon busses tables at the Cheesecake factory:

 

"It's a WAAAAAAAAAVE.....The time to clap is NOW, people!"

 

His sleep deprivation episode is my fave.  Especially in the ball pit. 

 

When the play place guard calls Leonard to pick up Sheldon, Penny asks what's up.  Leonard replies "Sheldon's escaped and is terrifying the villagers".

 

Bernadette, when sending Sheldon to bed: "I know how to deal with stubborn children.  My mother ran an unlicensed daycare in our basement

[NoWillToResist]

Not sure that it counts as a quote, but I loved it when Leonard wrote "SARCASM" on a piece of paper and held it up behind Penny when she was talking to Sheldon so that Sheldon would understand that she was not being genuine. It may have been in the pilot?

 

I was amused by Sheldon's comment to Penny during H&B's wedding: "would you like some aloe? Because you just got burned."

 

I'm also partial to Raj's "the plot...like my gravy...thickens!" in the Thanksgiving episode.

Edited April 23, 2014 by NoWillToResist

[MizArk]

Penny: Does that feel like an arm?

Sheldon: No ...

Penny: Then maybe you should let it go.

(love her delivery of that line)

[cosmic1]

When driving Sheldon and Amy on their first date, when Penny asks Sheldon if he ever told Amy about growing up in Texas and he says to Amy, "It was hell."  LOL.  That whole date was a riot with poor Penny trying to help and then Sheldon guessing she had dated about 192 men and slept with 32 of them. 

[AriAu]

Sheldon:" I could grow my own Nimoy!"

 

While everyone is cracking up, it almost drowns out Penny's almost perfect response

"I'm only giving you the napkin, Sheldon", with a perfect look on her face.

I am pretty sure that episode was shot around the time Johnny and Kaley were secretly seeing each other in real life and the interaction between the 2 shows that something was going on

Edited April 25, 2014 by AriAu

[ari333]

Sheldon upon being told that's it's ok to wait a day or two on getting a haircut (IIRC, I get plots confused): "Well, then, perhaps I should also begin wearing Birkenstocks and seeking validation for my opinions by asking, 'Can ya dig it?' "

[ari333]

Raj to Leonard (IIRC): "Ok, don't go all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass."

 

Sheldon to Leonard regarding the utility of bus pants: "Perhaps from your lofty heights atop the corporate ladder, you've lost touch with the struggles of the common man."

 

Sheldon to Raj: "Do you need some money to buy a less disturbing sweater vest?"

[ari333]

Sheldon: "You know, Leonard, you actually have a valid idea; Very good!" 

Leonard: "Can you say that and not make it sound like I'm a cat who learned how to use the toilet?"

Sheldon: "No; The two achievements are equally surprising and equally admirable; However, if pressed, I'd have to give a slight edge to the cat." 

[cosmic1]

In the Hawking Excitation, Howard's mother and Sheldon go dress shopping and Howard's mother says "when I put my front in, my back pops out and when I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub here!" Lol.

Edited April 28, 2014 by cosmic1

[supposebly]

Leonard: "That's how we roll in the Shire!"

[cosmic1]

In The Stag Convergence, when Bernadette snaps at Raj, "you aren't going anywhere, Threeway!" Lol.

[ari333]

Penny regarding Priya via Amy's primate philosophies, "Amy's right; I do want to fling my poop at her."

[riley702]

Drunken Amy: Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis?

Sheldon: Every time you drink alcohol.

[Blunderland]

Amy:  Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.

 

Sheldon:  You mean like Salt Lake City?

[ari333]

Berny to Penny: "It sounds like you were a bully.... and maybe a felon."

Amy to Berny: "Shhhh, that's how you end up in a cornfield."

[anstar]

Sheldon:

Somewhere in this swamp of unbalanced formula squateth the toad of truth.

Penny:

Is that a physics thing?

Leonard:

No, it's a crazy thing.

[Indy]

From the haircut episode:

 

Penny to Sheldon: "Where are you going?"

Sheldon: "Wherever the music takes me, kitten"

"I play bongos walking down the stairs" (trips, screams)

"Never play bongos walking down the stairs"

[TeethMalloy]

Since this episode was on recently:

Amy: "Have you considered that your intelligence might be the very thing causing your dilemma?"

Sheldon: "No."

Amy: "What do you think Ricky [the smoking monkey] over here would do if an interloper encroached on his territory?"

Sheldon: "Well...when challenged, monkeys generally assert their dominance through chasing...assault...and, uh, stylized penile display. A little outside my comfort zone...."

[5cents-worth]

 From "The Contractual Obligation Implementation"

 

Bernadette, Penny and Amy go to Disneyland, where they get Disney princess makeovers.  Bernadette insisted on being Cinderella, and makes the other two choose other costumes.  Sheldon has called them to help talk to a class of middle school girls about women in the sciences.

 

Bernadette, dressed as Cinderella, speaking to the class:   You have the capacity to be anything you want to be.

 

Penny, quietly:  Unless you want to be Cinderella.

 

Bernadette, turning to Penny:  Come at me!  See what happens!  

 

When Bernadette gets an attitude it is always hilarious.

[emma675]

I love it when Bernadette is home and Howard comes in and she tells him she has a surprise for him (off-screen) and he's all "please be Cinderella, please be Cinderella" and his reaction when she is.

[ari333]

I love it when Bernadette is home and Howard comes in and she tells him she has a surprise for him (off-screen) and he's all "please be Cinderella, please be Cinderella" and his reaction when she is.

 

Omg, yes. Howard does some kind of little gallop or something. hee.

[zxy556575]

From The Panty Pinata Polarization:

Leonard, after Penny is banished: "Just so I know, would you be open to taking his class? You can do it online."

 

Penny: Leonard, remember when I said it was on? Well, now it’s junior rodeo on!

Leonard: Oh, not junior rodeo. (A lot of the funny was Leonard's inflection.)

 

From The Euclid Alternative:

Leonard: Aw, the pet store.

 

I also like the running joke of Sheldon's wifi passwords.

Edited June 5, 2014 by lordonia

[BooksRule]

Penny:  '...That...that...'

Sheldon:  'Time machine.'

Penny:  'Oh, please.  That's not a time machine.  If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades.'

[zxy556575]

Amy and Howard: Sweeeet Ca-ro-line!

[riley702]

Amy and Howard: Sweeeet Ca-ro-line!

 

LOVED that! 

 

[zxy556575]

From The Closure Alternative:

 

Sheldon: No. They can’t just cancel a show like Alphas. You know? They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season till we were grateful it ended.

 

It's funny because ...

 

This wasn't a line, but Sheldon's surprise and chagrin in that same episode when Amy continually denied him closure was hysterical. Her expression and body language when she erased the the tic-tac-toe game were particularly great, too.

Edited June 7, 2014 by lordonia

[CleoCaesar]

LOVED that! 

 

 

One of my favorite scenes this past season. Mayim and Simon looked like they were having a blast, and as far as their characters go, I've never seen Amy that happy. With her horrific "boyfriend", she always seems subdued, and almost like a schoolteacher looking after a problem child. But singing Neil Diamond she's awesomely happy. :)

Edited June 7, 2014 by CleoCaesar

[motwanirajat]

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock! :D