S10.E06: America's Got Talent Auditions 6

[bluepiano]

Starting this topic because no one else has. Does that indicate a lack of interest?

 

Well, most of the acts were ho hum. The two Japanese dancers? Yawn. Has there ever been a mixed media dance act that didn't make the judges swoon, and act like they were seeing this for the very first time ever in the history of the world? I thought at least Howard might say, we've seen this before, and seen it done more spectacularly. But I guess going nuts for these acts is how AGT shows that it can appreciate "art." (Same thing with opera.)

 

The woman who sang "Natural Woman?" Yawn. Decent singer, but on the level of a pretty run-of-the-mill "Voice" contestant.

 

All the daredevil acts? Yawn. I can never escape the feeling that these are well rehearsed, well planned theatrical events, with way little actual danger than we're led to believe. (With the fire department and rescue personnel standing around playing the role of extras to add atmosphere)

 

Trick horseback riding? Yawn. Saw enough of that in Roy Rogers movies when I was a kid. (And I always feel bad for the horses).

 

I liked the juggler with the hats. His parents with the arrows? Yawn. For veteran circus performers, they didn't seem to have a sense of how to build tension or present the trick so that the audience would feel involved.

 

Guy who burst watermelons with his head? Double yawn. This show has a split personality. They pride themselves on discovering and presenting real talent, then they give four yesses to these Gong Show type acts.

 

Probably the most memorable act of the night, and not necessarily in a good way, was the 5 year old singer/tapper. She was like Robo Tyke, seemingly engineered for this sort of thing. Manufactured adorableness. I fear she's in for the long haul.

Edited July 2, 2015 by bluepiano

[Panopticon]

Thanks for starting the thread. I assume everyone else is too traumatized by suddenly hating five-year-olds. And hating singing. And hating attempts to alleviate poverty.

Or maybe that's just me. I now have my act to hate on for the rest of the season. Kid singers are bad enough (and of course she can't really compete with adults and isn't that good, being that SHE'S FIVE!). They become infinitely worse when they're fed grownup speeches that sound creepy as hell coming out of the mouth of a baby. Children that age are certainly capable of generosity and compassion but hearing her spout prepackaged words about poverty around the world the way she did made my skin crawl.

On a more positive note, I enjoyed the hat juggler and liked the idea of him competing against his parents.

I also thought the teen comedian was quite good. I laughed several times and am interested to see if he can sustain that over multiple performances. But I'd give him up if we could have a no-kids rule and get rid of the little "singer."

[Commando Cody]

I have no idea where the watermelon head guy goes from here.  I don't really believe it's a record without a judge there to make sure all the watermelons were broken. Some of them looked questionable.  

 

I liked the five year old girl.  She was so cute.  Not enough to keep her going in this competition.  My hearing must be really terrible.  I couldn't understand a word she was singing.  

 

Someone blew up while sitting in a vehicle... and she's a grandma.  Whatever.  

 

A dude likes to jump off cranes.  He would probably do better being a stunt double in Hollywood.   

[UsernameGoesHere]

Ugh at watermelon guy making it through. What exactly do the judges think he'll do in the next round?

 

Hate all the outdoor/extreme/daredevil acts except the horse people, though I'm so scared for that 6-year-old boy. I don't want to see him get hurt.

 

I'm so tired of the multimedia dance acts.

 

Heavenly Joy's dad is a Grammy-winning record producer. Mom is a singer/actress.

 

LOL at that Grandmaster guy coming back. I'd rather watch his ridiculousness than the extreme acts.

[Taeolas]

Overall a big huge meh episode. 

 

I suspect/hope a lot of these One and Done 'acts' like the Watermelon guy and the crane jumper just get cut. I suppose for exciting the crowd they might be OK, but they are one shot acts that don't have any real longivity (and/or would be impossible to do inside on a stage).

 

The Hat juggler was about the only high point, and it wasn't really all that high.

[CrashTextDummie]

The grandmaster has a considerable talent for comedy. Unlike all the standup comedians, he actually made me laugh.

 

All these so-called "danger acts" are bizarre to me, they feel like they belong on a different show.

[needschocolate]

Six posts in and everyone has already said pretty much everything I was thinking.  Not much - good or bad - to comment on this episode.  I skipped the dardevil acts, but that sounds like it was a good decision.

 

The two Japanese dancers? Yawn. Has there ever been a mixed media dance act that didn't make the judges swoon, and act like they were seeing this for the very first time ever in the history of the world? I thought at least Howard might say, we've seen this before, and seen it done more spectacularly. But I guess going nuts for these acts is how AGT shows that it can appreciate "art." (Same thing with opera.)

 

I enjoy the multimedia acts but the actions really have to go with the light show/video/electronics to impress me.  This time, they missed the mark, their timing was off most of the performance.  It was more like two women dancing with an unrelated light show in the background. And the dancing wasn't anything spectacular.  They shouldn't have made it through.

 

I have no idea where the watermelon head guy goes from here.  I don't really believe it's a record without a judge there to make sure all the watermelons were broken. Some of them looked questionable.  

 

I would guess that the Guinness people (or whoever is in charge of keeping track of world records nowadays) don't want to send someone out for every person who says they are going to try to break a record.  There may be an official judging for things like longest fingernails, but for something like watermelon breaking, where someone can just keep trying 20 times a days for as long as it takes, they probably use video and witness accounts as proof.  The video would certainly need to by uncut and give a better view of the broken watermelons

 

Note: This opinion is based on not seeing any official judge when Bobby and Cindy tried to teeter-totter their way into the record books nor when my next door neighbor and his friends tried to break the record for bed pushing decades ago.  

 

I am wondering if watermelon guy really broke a real record - he didn't seem to be going all that fast, with the multiple hits to some melons and the re-positioning of others.  There is opportunity to do this much faster - one good whack per melon.  I wouldn't be surprised if there was no official record of watermelon breaking by head.  Maybe he heard about some guy in New Zealand and decided that he could buy himself his 15 minutes of fame for the cost of 50-60 watermelons (extras for practice).  Or maybe he made the whole things up. 

 

Ugh at watermelon guy making it through. What exactly do the judges think he'll do in the next round?

 

Imagine if he wins ... the marquee at the Belagio reads "The Amazing Watermelon Man - World record now at 73! Will he break 74 tonight? Show times 8 pm and 10:30 pm."  In the winter he will switch to butternut squash (ouch!).

Edited July 3, 2015 by needschocolate

[LadyMustang65]

I liked the kid comedian.  I'm not a fan of young kids so even though the tapper/singer kid was cute, had a nice voice and had decent footwork, what's the point?  If she wins, are they going to schedule her Vegas shows at 1 p.m. so she's awake?  And would you really pay to see her?  I did like the trick pony riders, although there was a lot of room for improvement.  Guy who jumped off the crane and woman who blew herself up were just yawn.  Forget watermelon guy.  Just no.  Maybe it's time to define what exactly constitutes a "talent?" 

[gaPeach]

Count me in as one that was not impressed that much with the 5 year old.  Yes she is cute and pretty smart and quick.  But I could not understand a word she was singing.  Maybe if I recognized  the song it would have been different.   I wonder how many of those kids Broadway Producers see every casting call for Annie?

[SFoster21]

I really liked that little girl. She didn't seem packaged to me; I had a child just that precocious. Kids say all kinds of things. If that's what she hears or absorbs from her world, none of it was negative or ugly.

I agree this a silly competition for children. But the PTB put them on.

[tominboston]

So how long does Watermellon Man keep it up before the repeated concussions render him metally nonfunctional? And I too found the 5-year-old kind of freakish... she was all about cuteness, not talent, and she's way too young to deal with show business and still be a normal kid.

 

Having said that, I keep watching these auditions precisely because of the Gong Show acts and one trick ponies. As others have mentioned on this forum, AGT is the closest thing on major network TV to the old time variety shows that used to jump between singers and jugglers and comics and magicians and whatever. I do wish AGT would set an age limit somewhere in the teens, and limit the number of singers the judges can put through since there are other shows for them, but for whatever reason (maybe I'm easily amused) I do enjoy the goofy variety more often than not.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

Overall a big huge meh episode.

Yep.  And this is coming from someone who's a fan overall of the daredevil acts.  The only act  I really liked was the trick riders, and they have zero shot at winning AGT.  I also liked the teenage comedian, but I suspect we've already heard his best material.  I hope I'm wrong about that of course.  

 

 

Probably the most memorable act of the night, and not necessarily in a good way, was the 5 year old singer/tapper. She was like Robo Tyke, seemingly engineered for this sort of thing. Manufactured adorableness. I fear she's in for the long haul.

Agreed a million percent.  I hate all the kid acts and particularly hate the "manufactured adorableness" ones.  Super creepy.  Although obviously I DON'T hate all the kids acts since I did like the rodeo family.  But they didn't act like kids in a beauty pageant.

Edited July 3, 2015 by ratgirlagogo

[Happytobehere]

 

Probably the most memorable act of the night, and not necessarily in a good way, was the 5 year old singer/tapper. She was like Robo Tyke, seemingly engineered for this sort of thing. Manufactured adorableness. I fear she's in for the long haul.

And her presence is clearly a publicity troll because her father does not need this show to gain her access to show biz as he, Rodney Jerkins, is the ultimate insider and could just call someone up to give his kid a job. So I now have zero interest I her because even if I liked kid acts, I would like a kid act who legitimately needs a show like this to give them access, not a kid act who was born with access.

[bluepiano]

I liked the 15 year old comic. His delivery was a bit shaky (no doubt due to nerves) but he did have some genuinely funny lines. (I totally believe that his father helped him write the act). However, I'm skeptical that he's got more material at the same level. That's the issue with comedians who have just one theme. At some point "I'm 15" stops being a novelty and becomes boring.

 

Overall it seems to me that there are fewer stand out acts than in past years, and even the best acts so far don't measure up to the best acts of the past. Maybe after 10 years the talent pool's getting thin. Apparently "America's Got Talent" but not an unlimited supply.

Edited July 4, 2015 by bluepiano

[saber5055]

It still amazes me that someone like Watermelon Basher gets raves and four BIG YESES whereas other acts get questioned like the Spanish Inquisition: "Is this a million-dollar act?" "What could you do differently next time to step it up?" I liked the hat juggler, and the 15-year-old comic made me LOL. So that's saying something. 

 

The guy who jumped off the crane ... same response from me as the Watermellon Basher. What's next? And would someone actually pay to see him? 

 

Yeah, I didn't think so.

[marketdoctor]

I've missed the past few weeks (different work schedule), but thanks for keeping me informed.

 

I like the idea of a separate show for kid acts, not because I would watch it, but because it would give talented kids a place to go, and have auditions at exactly the same time as, but in different cities from, this show. Then you tell the kids (but NOT the parents) that each week the winner is chosen randomly. 

 

What annoys me is we haven't seen every act going forward; a few got montaged--so they might be "holding back" some really good acts for the sake of drama.  The logical reason to do that is to make room/explain the one-trick ponies, but maybe we could just realize if you don't have a second trick, you don't get a third round.  (Sort of like you don't get two Golden Buzzers, because that would be three too many.)

[Commando Cody]

I would rather just see an age limit.  If they started a show like "Kids Got Talent", it would open the door for every crackpot parent who thinks their child has talent.  I don't think a show like that would be good for the children.  I don't know if a show like this one is good for the children as it is, but since it isn't specifically for kids, there are probably fewer traumatized children. 

[ratgirlagogo]

 

I would rather just see an age limit.

Hear, hear.  But I know it's never going to happen, unfortunately.

[helenamonster]

Y'all, I love kids. I really and truly do. I used to teach dance to three- and four-year-olds and it was a blast and sometimes I think I should switch my career trajectory and become an elementary school teacher. But I just could not with that five-year-old, I'm sorry. I couldn't understand a word she was singing, she barely tap-danced, and I have a very low tolerance for canned cuteness. Comparing her to Shirley Temple??? GMAFB. This  girl...well, she's five, and about as good as any five-year-old up there would have been.

 

The reason I think an age limit should be set (besides the fact that I don't want to see kids that young on the show) is because eventually, someone's going to have to say no to this girl. She's not going to win this thing...cute will only get her so far. So either the judges will have to cut her in the next round or she'll be voted out on a live show. And, like, who wants to put their kindergartner through that? That's not entertaining television.

 

I did like the horseback riding kids though. The thing with the outdoor acts is that they usually don't go far in this competition. Because even if they are sent through to the live rounds, their bits have to be pre-taped and they just don't seem to connect as well with the voting audience. Fortunately, there are plenty of places an act like that can go so I'm not too worried about them. I'm sure they're already performing in rodeos and whatnot, this show just gives them more exposure. But yeah, most of the outdoor acts are dull and really just people fucking around.

 

I didn't really like the 15-year-old comedian until his last joke about having a Jewish writer and a woman he used to sleep with as his agent, that was pretty clever. So I'm on the fence with him and willing to let him have another go of it before deciding how I feel.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

his last joke about having a Jewish writer and a woman he used to sleep with as his agent

That was by far his best joke and I'm sure his dad wrote it.  Like I said, I doubt he has stronger material than what he already showed, but I do hope I'm wrong.

 

As for the rodeo kids, they're like the circus people, in fact of course they are a kind of circus people - their grandfather was a big rodeo star, in the Rodeo Hall of Fame and all that.  They're third or maybe fourth generation  performers and already have a solid career BEHIND them, let alone before them.  I agree they can't win, although I wish they could.  Since their act requires actual SKILL they don't need to cutesify it up in front of the camera - although the youngest boy's pony was super cute.

[helenamonster]

Also, how far as Dax Shepard's career fallen that he's been reduced to cracking watermelons open with his head?

 

I can't be the only person who saw the resemblance.

Edited July 7, 2015 by helenamonster

[DrLar]

How many neurons did he killed by smashing all those watermelons? I bet 1000 each LOL

 

I guess next up are cantelopes? bit harder to break and I wonder what's that record?

 

Only liked the hat juggler, that was pretty much it..

[b2H]

I would think Gallagher would have something to say about the watermelon guy.

[Lonesome Rhodes]

It's a new low when the best thing in a show is the wacky skit with Howie and the ladies.