bunnywithanaxe April 8, 2014 Share April 8, 2014 "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." 7 Link to comment
Shannon L. April 8, 2014 Share April 8, 2014 Oh there are so many! I still quote this show now after all these years and am so happy when someone gets it! Just a few for now: "What do you call a guy who likes a girl who used to be a guy but isn't anymore?" "Oh go ahead, Herb. The frog is dying! Just call him up and say 'hi, my pink frog is sick and I'd like you to come up and look at his feet." "Hirsch! Where have you been?!"; "Mardi Gras, madam." "It's just like in the movies. You can wipe out the entire confederate army--thousands of men, deader than door nails and nobody cares, but you kill one collie and everyone collapses in grief!" I just realized that I could go on and on and on..... :) 3 Link to comment
bunnywithanaxe April 8, 2014 Share April 8, 2014 Heh, I almost suggested "HIRSCH!!!" as a thread title. 2 Link to comment
ethalfrida April 8, 2014 Share April 8, 2014 Les Nessman and his "chee-hoouh-hoouh ... 4 Link to comment
Constantinople April 9, 2014 Share April 9, 2014 Discussing Carlson's mother, the station owner Carlson's son: She says you're obtuse Les Nessman (smiling): Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh 4 Link to comment
The Crazed Spruce April 9, 2014 Share April 9, 2014 (edited) Don't remember exactly what episode it's from, but one of my favourite Johnny lines (I even used it as my signature in a forum I used to frequent) was: "When the whole world's out to get you, paranoia's just smart thinking." Edited April 9, 2014 by The Crazed Spruce 5 Link to comment
Shannon L. April 9, 2014 Share April 9, 2014 Herb to Jennifer (and this may not be exact wording) "Oh, hey-I'm sorry that your guy bought the farm, but look at it this way: He was filthy rich and died eating at the best restaurant in town while sitting next to you. Not a bad way to go if you ask me." "I don't do little gustos, Herb""You all had an orgy last night! And I wasn't invited!" I accidentally put this in the Musical Moments thread. How do I copy and paste w/o having to put it in quotes? It won't give me a paste option until I've hit the quote button. Link to comment
The Crazed Spruce April 9, 2014 Share April 9, 2014 I accidentally put this in the Musical Moments thread. How do I copy and paste w/o having to put it in quotes? It won't give me a paste option until I've hit the quote button.You could always delete the quote tags. :) Link to comment
Shannon L. April 10, 2014 Share April 10, 2014 Ah yes...however, I didn't have the tags, just the box. Can you tell me now to find the tags? Wait....I just saw "Full Editor". That's it, right? Back on topic: "Surely you must know some black, plantation voodoo that takes paint off a frog?" 2 Link to comment
PrincessLuceval April 10, 2014 Share April 10, 2014 The tornado episode, with the Japanese tourists (very, very un PC stereotype with their cameras around their necks). One of the tourists excitedly points out the window (at the coming tornado). Carlson mutters to himself:"He probably spotted a Fotomat." 2 Link to comment
AimingforYoko April 10, 2014 Share April 10, 2014 From "Young Master Carlson": Andy: Alright, somebody tell me what happened. Herb: Well, first of all Venus shouldn't be picking on little white kids. Venus: How about big white kids? 2 Link to comment
Maggie April 10, 2014 Share April 10, 2014 "Citizens of Cincinnati, we are being attacked by the godless tornadoes!" 4 Link to comment
Shannon L. April 14, 2014 Share April 14, 2014 From Lucille: "We only watch good, wholesome family shows. Like Little House on the Prairie. It's about blind children and every week someone dies in a fire or of a horrible disease." 3 Link to comment
Twickenham April 16, 2014 Share April 16, 2014 From Buffy: "If only I could get to Vermont. It's... It's reeeel there." Link to comment
AimingforYoko April 17, 2014 Share April 17, 2014 (edited) Also from Buffy, after seeing Johnny's (actually Jennifer's) apartment: "I see you've become more prosperous...and slightly effeminate." Edited April 17, 2014 by AimingforYoko 2 Link to comment
ElleryAnne April 17, 2014 Share April 17, 2014 "Don't you people get it? It was the phone cops!" 5 Link to comment
MarkHB April 17, 2014 Share April 17, 2014 Hirsch, from the finale: "Fever! You're the one who has caused Madam so much trouble for all of these years! Just a moment..." <turns to call offstage> "Madam! Your physician is here!" 7 Link to comment
AriAu April 17, 2014 Share April 17, 2014 "It gets pretty strange after that" My favorite part of Les Nesman's story in the Turkey episode-actually everything he says in the last 5 minutes is comedy gold 7 Link to comment
babyhouseman April 19, 2014 Share April 19, 2014 I vaguely remembered this scene and IMDB provided it: Andy Travis: [knocks doorknob out of Doug's hand, forcing the door closed... holds his hand out] Where's the coke?Doug Winner: I don't know. I guess Carlson puts it on his feet.Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: [Doug leaves and Andy turns to Carlson, stunned] Good heavens! I've lost all the feeling in my left foot![stomping his foot on floor]Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: For the love of Pete, Andy, I'm hooked!Andy Travis: No, you're gonna be fine!Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: [beating frantically on his foot with his shoe] I've got a monkey on my foot! 4 Link to comment
Shannon L. April 19, 2014 Share April 19, 2014 I remember that scene! Saying it was brilliant, though, is getting repetitive since the whole damn show was brilliant. 4 Link to comment
Shannon L. April 24, 2014 Share April 24, 2014 Another Buffy quote: "When am I going to learn to listen to my psychic?!!" Link to comment
JeanneH April 28, 2014 Share April 28, 2014 from the opening: "And the senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity." 3 Link to comment
bunnywithanaxe April 28, 2014 Share April 28, 2014 Something Jennifer said once stuck with me, when Les was moping after having ran his new boat through a couple's living room: "It was an accident, Les, that's why the call them that!" Link to comment
Maggie May April 28, 2014 Share April 28, 2014 "Herb Tarlek's selling life insurance and he's headed this way!" 2 Link to comment
darbar May 6, 2014 Share May 6, 2014 Jennifer responding to Herb when he asked her what she did that night. "Seeing different men, letting them have their way with me." Herb nearly dropped dead with that one. 5 Link to comment
Shannon L. May 6, 2014 Share May 6, 2014 From Les: "Oh, I know what's going on here. I most certainly do! You had an orgy last night......and I wasn't invited!" 2 Link to comment
Etaoin Shrdlu May 7, 2014 Share May 7, 2014 I want a hat!N-E-S-T-L-E-S Nestles makes the very best.... chooooclaaaate. You should know I've killed a lot of old people in my time. And I'm not above doing it again! 6 Link to comment
darbar May 7, 2014 Share May 7, 2014 Herb----Life is short, so why not grab a little gusto. Jennifer---I don't like LITTLE gustos. 6 Link to comment
AriAu May 8, 2014 Share May 8, 2014 Was talking about how bad commercials were on a local radio station and I said, it's not like its Red wigglers or anything....and no one laughed. "Red wigglers, the Cadillac of worms...of worms" 3 Link to comment
Etaoin Shrdlu May 8, 2014 Share May 8, 2014 Ferryman! Ferryman! The mortician man who loves you...... a lot! 1 Link to comment
ElleryAnne May 9, 2014 Share May 9, 2014 Also Johnny Fever, on being told the contract on his condo had been consummated and they wouldn't let him out of it: "Well, you see, I feel like I've been consummated." 2 Link to comment
Etaoin Shrdlu May 9, 2014 Share May 9, 2014 We actually named our dog Bailey after watching a WKRP episode. (It helped that our other dog's name is Guinness.)I also am often heard saying "Well... hell." Link to comment
NausetGirl June 30, 2014 Share June 30, 2014 Jennifer: "...please, Herb - try not to leer...." Link to comment
AriAu June 30, 2014 Share June 30, 2014 (edited) From the episode where Venus and Johnny are tested as they drink: "Cop's got a hat, I need a hat". Almost everything in that episode made me crack up, especially the scenes with the cops and Johnny, as he keeps getting faster and faster response times the more he drinks. It is also the episode with the Pig and the Carp (Herb) getting into a fight in the bathroom. Saw it last night while I was surfing around and laughed a lot, even knowing everything that was going on Edited June 30, 2014 by AriAu 4 Link to comment
ethalfrida June 30, 2014 Share June 30, 2014 Same here. The minute I saw the carp outfit the laughs were on!!! Link to comment
Chip July 1, 2014 Share July 1, 2014 I just watched this one on Hulu. It's "Fish Story" and it is great. Link to comment
ethalfrida July 8, 2014 Share July 8, 2014 I just think Dr.Johnny Fever's character is developed so right on. Love his "Fellow Babies". Speaking of quotes: Old guy to Jennifer.. "I'm not as old as I look". Jennifer: "But are you as poor as you look?" 3 Link to comment
BMGepinniw July 13, 2014 Share July 13, 2014 (edited) Thanks IMDB for the quote. Jennifer is sitting in the bar, after having convinced Lucille to take Herb back. I wish I could remember what the server says with each drink he puts in front of her - something about a long shoreman, ? a cowboy, and the rest escapes me. Then Andy, Venus, Johnny and Les come up to the table: Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Hi guys! Andy Travis: Oh, what's your sign? Venus Flytrap: You live around here, mama? Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Want a little action, sugar? Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Well, Les, don't you have an opening line? Les Nessman: [Looks uneasy, then sits down an picks up a drink] Hi, I'm extremely wealthy. Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Ooh. Edited July 15, 2014 by BMGepinniw 5 Link to comment
JeanneH July 13, 2014 Share July 13, 2014 (edited) I have to give the lead-up for the quote(s) to make sense, I think. In the season 2 Christmas episode (Jennifer's Home for Christmas), everyone is talking about their holiday plans except for Jennifer, who says she's not doing anything special. The others think she will be home alone, and so they all end up at Jennifer's. Everyone brings a tree with them except for Herb (Andy tells Herb he can't come in without a tree). The big reveal is that Jennifer is not going to be home, or alone, she's spending her holiday in Bethlehem with her gentleman friend: Herb: You’re going to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania? Jennifer: No Herb, THE Bethlehem. Johnny: Now that’s a down home Christmas. Edited July 13, 2014 by JeanneH 2 Link to comment
suprfrog July 20, 2014 Share July 20, 2014 Carlson: "Do I hear...dogs barking on that thing?" Johnny: "I do...""...and I, myself, have personally just seen a giant pig. He is currently painting the walls of our lobby."Herb: "Venus, how do you get pink paint off a frog?"Venus: "Oh, I dunno Herb. How *do* you get pink paint of a frog?" 1 Link to comment
AriAu August 14, 2014 Share August 14, 2014 (edited) "It's bad luck to take advice from a crazy person." Herb Tarlik line that I quote all the time...usually about clients of mine. Edited August 14, 2014 by AriAu 3 Link to comment
NausetGirl August 19, 2014 Share August 19, 2014 Just remembered the episode where some of the characters - can't remember exactly who - are discussing how female athletes from the Soviet Bloc countries often had a "less-than-feminine" appearance. Less tells everyone "I think that's what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. They took him to Russia and turned him into a woman!!!" 2 Link to comment
NausetGirl August 21, 2014 Share August 21, 2014 It may have been from the final episode. A beautifully-delivered line from Gary Sandy playing a very inebriated Andy in the drawing room of Momma Carlson's mansion. She comes into the room and Andy says: "Mrs Carlson... I'm sick your crud!!!" 2 Link to comment
fernsehen September 26, 2014 Share September 26, 2014 And yet another from Les: "I don't know if you've noticed, but there certainly are a lot of Negroes in sports." 1 Link to comment
fernsehen December 15, 2014 Share December 15, 2014 There's something about Les's sign-off: "This is Les Nessman saying good day, and may the good news be yours." Link to comment
Mrs. Stanwyck January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 From the episode where Jennifer is the executrix of the guy's estate - during the video reading of the will: "And to my nephew Skippy, I leave a piece of advice - BUY A CAR PEOPLE CAN SEE AROUND ON THE HIGHWAY" (in regards to Skippy's beloved van) Whenever I am on the road trapped behind a car I can't see around, this line always pops into my head. 2 Link to comment
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