Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Minivanessa]

3 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

I know everyone says that Jonathan and Nathan are always paying for the Rods outings, but it's not an actual known fact.

I'm sure they pay or contribute sometimes but not all the times.

I think the Rods do pay for some if not most of their outings. The problem is that they spend money on this instead of essentials stuff like food/clothes for the kids or RV repair.

Anyway, just my 2 cents.

I agree. I don't want to underestimate the grifting efforts of Jill and David, but I think they do pay for some things. It's just that when we see them out at a restaurant or at some venue requiring admission fees, it seems that Nathan or Jonathan is with them. Exceptions are when it's just Jill and her delicious Hunk dining out - at places upscale from McDonald's - or Jill and David with one or two of the kids. But otherwise, big groups are shown climbing the outer walls of a national monument (a law violation, as we discussed), wandering around outside other venues, floating down muddy ditches, in parks, etc. 

Given the whole family was at a McDonald's in those recent photos, it's possible David picked up the tab, or maybe Jill paid for it out of her Plexus riches. 

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I doubt that Jonathan knows much about infant and child care, or childhood development.

Isn't all that stuff "women's work" in the IFB world?

Do fundie men ever change diapers or give their babies a bottle or feed the older kids even when their wife is really busy or even sick? 

I've learned a bit about the IFB way of life (and I don't mean just the IBLP sector). Including that they're really into gender roles. It's probably considered a huge hero move for a man to "babysit" his kids for a few hours while his wife is out of the house or otherwise occupied, like maybe delivering their next blessing. Maybe when the kids are a little older (able to walk, talke, feed themselves, and use the toilet), he'll take them, or at least the boys, out fishing or to a ball game or something. But the women will organize the food and make sure the kids are up and dressed for the day 'cause men have bigger things to handle. Like talking to God and conducting those nightly family devotionals.

So I see it as expected, that good old Jon is leaving all the baby care and baby carrying to the wimminfolk, and assuming that his dogly wife and her extra-dogly Mahmo are doing just what Jesus has ordained and taking fine care of his infant son. Seriously, I think he and Kaylee are both pretty clueless, and if that display of infant endangerment at the zoo is any indication, I hope they get a clue pretty fast so their child has a chance to thrive. 

Yes I agree with you. Assuming the best about Jonathan, if Kaylee was very sick or something of that nature he would handle the baby’s immediate needs until he found a woman/girl who could come over and handle the caregiving. If there were older children (capable of self care as you said), he would keep them entertained if Kaylee needed to recover from a birth or another illness. 
 

But in their culture caregiving is NOT the responsibility of men, perhaps excepting the caregiving of elderly/disabled men who are physically too big for most women to move alone (a teenaged or older man in the family would be expected to assist her)- but a baby? Nah nope never. 

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, merylinkid said:

AT Ff's sentencing Anna made a huge deal that FF cleaned up the cracker crumbs from the kids

He helped clean up cracker crumbs- he didn’t even do it all by himself. 

[Salacious Kitty]

2 hours ago, merylinkid said:

But Jonathan could still assert his headship and decree that Kaylee will follow the hospital instructions for caring for the child.

Jonathan likely didn't listen to the hospital's instructions for Giddy's care himself, so it's on Kaylee regardless. And from what we've seen, she's doing a piss poor job. 

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yes I agree with you. Assuming the best about Jonathan, if Kaylee was very sick or something of that nature he would handle the baby’s immediate needs until he found a woman/girl who could come over and handle the caregiving. If there were older children (capable of self care as you said), he would keep them entertained if Kaylee needed to recover from a birth or another illness. 
 

But in their culture caregiving is NOT the responsibility of men, perhaps excepting the caregiving of elderly/disabled men who are physically too big for most women to move alone (a teenaged or older man in the family would be expected to assist her)- but a baby? Nah nope never. 

It's infuriating and it's also stupid. Things happen. You don't know if you'll have to do things because your wife or husband gets sick or injured. My dad took care of all the cars, the lawn and other outside chores. But he also was responsible for getting my brother and I up on the weekdays and off to school and breakfast because my mom went to work really early. That worked well for because my is really good at making breakfasts. My mom got off early in the afternoon so she could watch us after school and she was responsible for dinner and paying bills. On weekends they split the house cleaning and running errands Mom made dinner. She liked to make big meals on the weekend when there was more time. They had a rule who ever was home first made dinner and who ever was off while the other was at work they made dinner.

But my dad got sick as I started middle school agent orange, he had to switch jobs and he was sick for a long time. My mom took over all the tasks he normally did. She mowed the lawn, trimmed the bushes and checked the oil while still doing her usual stuff, kids, working, and taking care of him. He finally got to better and a new job. He took over his tasks.

Years later my mom got sick. My dad took over the house cleaning, laundry, cooking, working and shopping. Starting out he was terrible at grocery shopping since he didn't do it that often. But he got better at it. He ended up doing really good. That's how they were and that's how it should be. If one is down the other spouse picks up the slack. It wasn't even a question.  

The last two years of my mom's life my dad did everything while taking care of her and me. 

Fundies never even think about that. If the wife is down, the husband can't and won't take over what she does. For one part they don't know how to do it and it would never occur to them to do it. They'll find another woman to come in and help. Addie, Callie and Ellie Bates only jobs seem to be to visit their married older sisters to do the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. When one of the Maxwell wives had cancer she was in Washington for awhile for treatment her two sisters-in-law Anna and Mary were over all the time to do the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. Yeah her husband had to work. But did he help with the cooking? Do the laundry? Take care of his kids?

You can't control what happens. But the fundies are really good at not preparing their kids for if something goes wrong. They don't bother to prepare their kids for jobs and life but definitely not if something goes wrong. They should because you just never know. My parents had no idea they would get sick but they did and both stepped up.  I assumed I would end up the caretaker of my parents. But as it turned out I ended up needing a caretaker just before my mom got sick. 

[Scarlett45]

@andromeda331 I agree with you but that’s how they roll. It just puts more burden on women/girls because men and boys are never expected to take on “female roles” but women are expected to take on male roles if necessary. Vulnerable human beings HAVE to be fed and kept clean every day. 
 

Even in mainstream North American culture (if there is such a thing) I think we really drop the ball on preparing most boys/men for caregiving roles (not as bad as fundies but still). 

[Salacious Kitty]

42 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

It's infuriating and it's also stupid. Things happen. You don't know if you'll have to do things because your wife or husband gets sick or injured. My dad took care of all the cars, the lawn and other outside chores. But he also was responsible for getting my brother and I up on the weekdays and off to school and breakfast because my mom went to work really early. That worked well for because my is really good at making breakfasts. My mom got off early in the afternoon so she could watch us after school and she was responsible for dinner and paying bills. On weekends they split the house cleaning and running errands Mom made dinner. She liked to make big meals on the weekend when there was more time. They had a rule who ever was home first made dinner and who ever was off while the other was at work they made dinner.

But my dad got sick as I started middle school agent orange, he had to switch jobs and he was sick for a long time. My mom took over all the tasks he normally did. She mowed the lawn, trimmed the bushes and checked the oil while still doing her usual stuff, kids, working, and taking care of him. He finally got to better and a new job. He took over his tasks.

Years later my mom got sick. My dad took over the house cleaning, laundry, cooking, working and shopping. Starting out he was terrible at grocery shopping since he didn't do it that often. But he got better at it. He ended up doing really good. That's how they were and that's how it should be. If one is down the other spouse picks up the slack. It wasn't even a question.  

The last two years of my mom's life my dad did everything while taking care of her and me. 

Fundies never even think about that. If the wife is down, the husband can't and won't take over what she does. For one part they don't know how to do it and it would never occur to them to do it. They'll find another woman to come in and help. Addie, Callie and Ellie Bates only jobs seem to be to visit their married older sisters to do the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. When one of the Maxwell wives had cancer she was in Washington for awhile for treatment her two sisters-in-law Anna and Mary were over all the time to do the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. Yeah her husband had to work. But did he help with the cooking? Do the laundry? Take care of his kids?

You can't control what happens. But the fundies are really good at not preparing their kids for if something goes wrong. They don't bother to prepare their kids for jobs and life but definitely not if something goes wrong. They should because you just never know. My parents had no idea they would get sick but they did and both stepped up.  I assumed I would end up the caretaker of my parents. But as it turned out I ended up needing a caretaker just before my mom got sick. 

Tim Sr. failing to learn women's work, such as it is, puts him in the bind he's in today. If they're still in WV, it's likely that Amy's husband has to get two paralyzed women ready every morning, not to mention feeding them (and his kids). He then has to cook dinner and get the women ready for bed.

Tim Sr is useless. 

Edited August 21, 2023 by Salacious Kitty

[beckie]

I think (and Kaylee) is so "compliable" because it's the only way she gets any positive attention from BME, and probably enjoys being the favored one, even if not for long, just because for once it hers to get. Does that make sense?

And I've said before that I had the feeling that Jonathan was the (and Kaylee)of his family, so I'm sure he loves the attention,  even if it comes with a whole lot of crazy and wtf?

[Salacious Kitty]

4 minutes ago, beckie said:

I think (and Kaylee) is so "compliable" because it's the only way she gets any positive attention from BME, and probably enjoys being the favored one, even if not for long, just because for once it hers to get. Does that make sense?

And I've said before that I had the feeling that Jonathan was the (and Kaylee)of his family, so I'm sure he loves the attention,  even if it comes with a whole lot of crazy and wtf?

We don't even know if his parents came to visit their grandson in the NICU. The Hills scrubbed their SM presence not long after Jonathan's courtship was announced. It's clear they wanted nothing to do with Jill's shitshow. 

[oliviabenson]

Can you blame them haha? 

I wouldn’t want to be associated with Jill either!

14 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

We don't even know if his parents came to visit their grandson in the NICU. The Hills scrubbed their SM presence not long after Jonathan's courtship was announced. It's clear they wanted nothing to do with Jill's shitshow. 

 

[crazy8s]

14 minutes ago, beckie said:

And I've said before that I had the feeling that Jonathan was the (and Kaylee)of his family, so I'm sure he loves the attention,  even if it comes with a whole lot of crazy and wtf?

Agree.  I also think Heidi is the Timothy of her family. Maybe needed a little more spirit breaking than her sibs and then went full on fundie. She certainly has more extreme views than her sisters, who are close to her age, as far as how womenfolk should dress and all.

Jill tries to slyly slam the duggars, the churches they visit and really anyone one for slipping standards of what "gawdly ladies" should wear and being all modern or worldly. Yet, most of her plexus upline and downline don't conform and Tim is courting a girl with a family, who other than Heidi, doesn't conform to Jill's standards. Jill is losing this battle, so she doubles down on her girlies are the most gawdliest and modest in their dress.

As far as us snarkers not knowing if Jonathan's parents visited the nicu - did we need to know? If they somehow laid down the law jill could not post about them at all, I say good for them. Interesting Pastor Hill's church in MS. didn't become part of the rod southern winter grift tour.

[BetyBee]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

@andromeda331Even in mainstream North American culture (if there is such a thing) I think we really drop the ball on preparing most boys/men for caregiving roles (not as bad as fundies but still). 

I wonder if that is the reason many widowed men marry rather quickly after their wives pass away? Is it because they need someone to do the cooking and the cleaning and to provide companionship? Of course DBD could just pick a daughter to stay home forever to care for him and the remaining littles if he lost his JillyBean. He'd be free to watch his map in peace!

[Salacious Kitty]

6 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I wonder if that is the reason many widowed men marry rather quickly after their wives pass away? Is it because they need someone to do the cooking and the cleaning and to provide companionship? Of course DBD could just pick a daughter to stay home forever to care for him and the remaining littles if he lost his JillyBean. He'd be free to watch his map in peace!

You're assuming that Jill actually cooks and cleans. I'm pretty sure that's been the purview of the older girls for several years now. 

[Scarlett45]

25 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I wonder if that is the reason many widowed men marry rather quickly after their wives pass away? Is it because they need someone to do the cooking and the cleaning and to provide companionship? Of course DBD could just pick a daughter to stay home forever to care for him and the remaining littles if he lost his JillyBean. He'd be free to watch his map in peace!

Taking this to small talk. 

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Vulnerable human beings HAVE to be fed and kept clean every day. 

Not in this country, where we accept millions of homeless citizens, including lots of kids, veterans, and the elderly. This is only true for the privileged.

[Scarlett45]

9 minutes ago, AstridM said:

Not in this country, where we accept millions of homeless citizens, including lots of kids, veterans, and the elderly. This is only true for the privileged.

You are very right. 

[Future Cat Lady]

1 hour ago, Salacious Kitty said:

We don't even know if his parents came to visit their grandson in the NICU. The Hills scrubbed their SM presence not long after Jonathan's courtship was announced. It's clear they wanted nothing to do with Jill's shitshow. 

Actually, I think it might be because of the snarkers. I think they didn't want their lives discussed on snark sites. Of course, people found out about them because of their association with the Rodrigues.

[Salacious Kitty]

4 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

Actually, I think it might be because of the snarkers. I think they didn't want their lives discussed on snark sites. Of course, people found out about them because of their association with the Rodrigues.

That's on Jill. She introduced her followers to the Hill family. People found their SM and church website from there. They were pretty quickly shut down. Not sure if people from Reddit touched the poop and harassed them. We just know the final result.

[Zella]

9 hours ago, merylinkid said:

AT Ff's sentencing Anna made a huge deal that FF cleaned up the cracker crumbs from the kids.   Like this was some amazing feat that showed what a family man he was.   In their world, that is unusual.   In normal people's world, its expected, not even the bare minimum but just like "well why didn't you clean up the crumbs " if he doesn't.

But Jonathan could still assert his headship and decree that Kaylee will follow the hospital instructions for caring for the child.

 

7 hours ago, AstridM said:

He helped clean up cracker crumbs- he didn’t even do it all by himself. 

My favorite part of that was also Anna bragging that Josh greeted everyone by name in the evening and asked how they were. It's such a low bar for basic social interaction, but it's one of the only things she could come up with to demonstrate what a shining example of manhood and fatherhood he is. 

[ginger90]

[libgirl2]

She made sure to tell everyone that David "took" them. 

[crazy8s]

David probably drove the van, so technically he took them. Once they were there Nathan then bought the tickets. 😂

[Trillium]

What a random group of Roddies. How it was decided who got to go?

[GeeGolly]

12 minutes ago, Trillium said:

What a random group of Roddies. How it was decided who got to go?

Very random. It looks to me like David somehow ended up with 6 tickets, and this is who went during vacation.

[oliviabenson]

20 minutes ago, Trillium said:

What a random group of Roddies. How it was decided who got to go?

Whoever found the most flies in print shop or crumbs around daddy?

[BradandJanet]

Is Nathan's church on summer break? It seems the Nurthans have been visiting for a very long time. Maybe Jill is just dropping the exciting pictures slowly to keep us interested. 

As for the ballgame, the Rods are sitting in the bleachers. The seats are hard, far from home plate, and probably without shade. I doubt the tickets cost much. Still, I can't see Lazy Davy paying unless he was desperate to get out of the house.  

[Notabug]

2 minutes ago, BradandJanet said:

Is Nathan's church on summer break? It seems the Nurthans have been visiting for a very long time. Maybe Jill is just dropping the exciting pictures slowly to keep us interested. 

As for the ballgame, the Rods are sitting in the bleachers. The seats are hard, far from home plate, and probably without shade. I doubt the tickets cost much. Still, I can't see Lazy Davy paying unless he was desperate to get out of the house.  

Bleacher seats are somewhere between $15-25; but there are a lot of coupons and discounts available.  Yes, the seats are in the direct sun for day games.  Progressive Field is actually a pretty well- designed venue for baseball and bleacher seats are not terrible, the view is better than in many major league parks.  The seats also have backs to them which makes them far more comfortable than most bleacher seats.

[Absolom]

30 minutes ago, BradandJanet said:

Is Nathan's church on summer break?

I've never seen a church go on summer break.  I guess one could.  Occasionally one will cut back on services for a month or two.  They do sometimes give the pastor a vacation for a couple of weeks and have visiting pastors or guest speakers.

[GeeGolly]

I think all these events happened during their vacation and JillR is just posting them whenever. Much like Jessa, she likes to think she's fooling folks.

[libgirl2]

2 hours ago, crazy8s said:

David probably drove the van, so technically he took them. Once they were there Nathan then bought the tickets. 😂

Nathan might have bought gas. 

[Dimi1]

20 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

It's infuriating and it's also stupid. Things happen. You don't know if you'll have to do things because your wife or husband gets sick or injured. My dad took care of all the cars, the lawn and other outside chores. But he also was responsible for getting my brother and I up on the weekdays and off to school and breakfast because my mom went to work really early. That worked well for because my is really good at making breakfasts. My mom got off early in the afternoon so she could watch us after school and she was responsible for dinner and paying bills. On weekends they split the house cleaning and running errands Mom made dinner. She liked to make big meals on the weekend when there was more time. They had a rule who ever was home first made dinner and who ever was off while the other was at work they made dinner.

But my dad got sick as I started middle school agent orange, he had to switch jobs and he was sick for a long time. My mom took over all the tasks he normally did. She mowed the lawn, trimmed the bushes and checked the oil while still doing her usual stuff, kids, working, and taking care of him. He finally got to better and a new job. He took over his tasks.

Years later my mom got sick. My dad took over the house cleaning, laundry, cooking, working and shopping. Starting out he was terrible at grocery shopping since he didn't do it that often. But he got better at it. He ended up doing really good. That's how they were and that's how it should be. If one is down the other spouse picks up the slack. It wasn't even a question.  

The last two years of my mom's life my dad did everything while taking care of her and me. 

Fundies never even think about that. If the wife is down, the husband can't and won't take over what she does. For one part they don't know how to do it and it would never occur to them to do it. They'll find another woman to come in and help. Addie, Callie and Ellie Bates only jobs seem to be to visit their married older sisters to do the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. When one of the Maxwell wives had cancer she was in Washington for awhile for treatment her two sisters-in-law Anna and Mary were over all the time to do the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. Yeah her husband had to work. But did he help with the cooking? Do the laundry? Take care of his kids?

You can't control what happens. But the fundies are really good at not preparing their kids for if something goes wrong. They don't bother to prepare their kids for jobs and life but definitely not if something goes wrong. They should because you just never know. My parents had no idea they would get sick but they did and both stepped up.  I assumed I would end up the caretaker of my parents. But as it turned out I ended up needing a caretaker just before my mom got sick. 

and not only that...what if a spouse dies? the hubby will be fine...he will go get another wife..but the wife - especially if older is SOL...no education, no no experience in the job market...sad sad sad

[Dimi1]

19 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Tim Sr. failing to learn women's work, such as it is, puts him in the bind he's in today. If they're still in WV, it's likely that Amy's husband has to get two paralyzed women ready every morning, not to mention feeding them (and his kids). He then has to cook dinner and get the women ready for bed.

Tim Sr is useless. 

this makes me so sad...my hubby really can't cook ...but mostly because I love to cook...but over the years he has come a long way...( he once called me while I was traveling and asked me how to boil water for spaghetti..:).) Now when he cooks he does a decent job - he asks questions...etc...He always tells me , its not as good as when I make it though...but if something happened to me..he would step in and take care of me and help in any way he can...

[libgirl2]

16 minutes ago, Dimi1 said:

this makes me so sad...my hubby really can't cook ...but mostly because I love to cook...but over the years he has come a long way...( he once called me while I was traveling and asked me how to boil water for spaghetti..:).) Now when he cooks he does a decent job - he asks questions...etc...He always tells me , its not as good as when I make it though...but if something happened to me..he would step in and take care of me and help in any way he can...

My husband really can't cook much but he did manage to cook for himself every so often before I met him. Nothing fancy but he did make a meat loaf. Mostly though, he got food on the way home. He lived near the downtown area of one city and took the train home. All was within walking distance. If I didn't cook, he would survive. 

I'm lucky, he doesn't expect me to cook every day. I usually do so 3 days in the week. We go out to eat or get something easy like picking up sub sandwiches. 

Edited August 22, 2023 by libgirl2

[oliviabenson]

[libgirl2]

I like smoothies but not quite sure about that. Leave out the plexus. 

[AstridM]

18 hours ago, Future Cat Lady said:

Actually, I think it might be because of the snarkers. I think they didn't want their lives discussed on snark sites. Of course, people found out about them because of their association with the Rodrigues.

No, it’s Jill’s fault for exploiting her family for thousands of online strangers. 

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think all these events happened during their vacation and JillR is just posting them whenever. Much like Jessa, she likes to think she's fooling folks.

They’re much alike in some ways and would undoubtedly hate each other if forced to live in close proximity for any length of time 🤣.

[ginger90]

Jill recorded herself making the smoothie but not drinking it, and says, “I have heard MANY say this is the BEST  protein shake they have ever tasted!”. Her marketing is always interesting.

[BradandJanet]

1 hour ago, oliviabenson said:

 

 

Oh, the irony. It's not clear that Jill and David can afford to feed their multiple waifs regularly, and selling Plexus hasn't fixed the situation. In fact, it may be costing more than she's bringing in. Maybe Jill should get her family on the donation list, if there is one. 

And Jill of the vacation lattes must know how this coffee drink compares to the many she's consumed. 

 

 

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Jill recorded herself making the smoothie but not drinking it, and says, “I have heard MANY say this is the BEST  protein shake they have ever tasted!”. Her marketing is always interesting.

Many, many people are saying that. All the best people! 😉 

[xwordfanatik]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Jill recorded herself making the smoothie but not drinking it, and says, “I have heard MANY say this is the BEST  protein shake they have ever tasted!”. Her marketing is always interesting.

Too bad it's not Vitameatavegimin!  

[Salacious Kitty]

1 minute ago, xwordfanatik said:

Too bad it's not Vitameatavegimin!  

It's tasty, too! 😃

[crazy8s]

She probably made the little girlies take a drink. Since they have never had a "protein shake" they responded with "yes mama" when asked if it was the best protein shake they ever had 😂 4 girlies = MANY

[Westiepeach]

2 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

Oh, the irony. It's not clear that Jill and David can afford to feed their multiple waifs regularly, and selling Plexus hasn't fixed the situation. In fact, it may be costing more than she's bringing in.  

 

 

IMHO, they can certainly afford to feed their multiple waifs regularly, they just don’t want to. They would rather spend any money they have on themselves and Plexus, not their so-called “blessings.” DBD is always “dipping up” first, and JillPM is always next in line. If they can afford to feed themselves they can afford to feed their children. Every single one looks malnourished and frail and sickly. Yet somehow BME and DBD don’t…

[crazy8s]

Well Renee's courtship seems to be well and truly off and she just "hopped on here" aka mama's fb to say she has 15 or so new pairs of earrings for sale in her etsy shop and a 15% off labor day special.

She is wearing a shirt under a hideous floral halter top, sitting in a new hammock near the grave yard garden. 🙄

So odd how she can speak fairly normal here, but in mama's videos she adopts that weird speech pattern Nurie also has.

 

Edited August 22, 2023 by crazy8s

[Salacious Kitty]

Wow, her hair is so fried. She needs to cut it and start over. 

[ginger90]

Screenshot from a video:

[GeeGolly]

Did Renee's hair get fried from a perm? Like, that doesn't look like the typical result of over worked/styled hair. And although you can't see it in the above still, she seems to have burnt or broken roots too. And her bangs must have been hair sprayed by JB, as they move as a stiff unit in the wind.

Oh goodness - stiff unit - oh well

[Salacious Kitty]

They tease their hair like there's no tomorrow, so no surprise that the roots also look like shit. It seems like Nurie and Kaylee have healthier hair since they moved out.

[awaken]

It seems that Hannah is developing Jill’s chin!

[BetyBee]

Every photo of Renee looks like a cry for help. That poor girl looks miserable.