Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[zxy556575]

My feeling is that this is a thread for offloading life's general irritations. If someone is peeved by people who drive while texting, wear open-toed sandals in restaurants, have neck tattoos, use crass swearwords, talk loudly in the movies, etc., and if I do any of those things, I gotta take my lumps. It's not surprising, or unkind, that my habits or looks may be irritating to others, just as theirs are to me.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

That's why I don't mind staring a bit -- or at least looking a little longer than a glance -- at someone with fluorescent green hair, @PETUNIA13. I try not too say anything in their hearing range, but I figure you don't color your hair fluorescent green if you don't want people to notice it and you.

Well, I myself don't do the hair colors and tattoos so that someone notices me; I do it because I like it. That said, though, you gotta know people are going to look (and judge, though I am happy to report that in my over 25 years of tattoo-having, I can count on one hand the rude remarks I've gotten to my face. Haha, I do often get surprised looks though, as, even with a nose hoop, I kind of have a girl-next-door face). Looks are OK for the most part; I look at people--everyone looks at people, tattoos or not. I find that it's the grocery store where I get the most. The best I had though was a tiny old woman who saw that I caught her looking. She apologized and said that I made her wish that tattoos had been OK for the ladies back when she was young--much better than "what will you do when you're old?"

As for undercuts, I had one once...and that was when I learned that my hair grows at some kind of annoying record speed! Undercut ruined in the course of two weeks--it was as it I'd never had it! So forget it; now it's no shorter than armpit length ever because why bother? It's fine though because my peeve-worthy, accidentally big hair also cannot be trusted to air-dry, and is actually much harder to maintain when it's short than when it's long (too much uncurling and flattening and taming; it grows up and out before it gravity finally takes over and allows it to grow downward!).

Edited July 30, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[auntlada]

I just noticed I had the wrong to/too in that sentence. That's a pet peeve of mine, so I'm sorry. I'm going to blame it on typing on an iPad instead of a computer. I have a lot more typos on the iPad.

I try not to stare at tattoos and piercings -- or at least no get caught staring -- but if you dye your hair that color, if you're not asking for people to look,  you should at least not mind it. People who don't want people to look at them should keep their hair some nondescript color.

I was actually surprised -- I don't know why -- at the women at the reunion who were surprised I don't color my hair. One actually tried to tell me I don't have gray hair, which either means she was just trying to be nice or she really needs glasses. I have gray hairs among my brown. I don't care, so no one has to try to be  nice and tell me I don't have gray hair. I don't see what's wrong with gray hair. Now, the woman who started going gray at 21 is different. She still colors her hair. At 21, I probably would have minded a lot. At 48, not so much. I'm getting older. Big deal. Beats the alternative.

ETA: I was just happy to see that I had not gained as much weight as almost everyone else. It's shallow of me, I know, but the weight is my thing the way the glasses and hair are theirs. But I did not talk about it or tell anyone else they needed to lose weight or tell anyone that she had not gained any at all and looked exactly the same. I was just happy I wasn't the biggest person. (I do weigh more than I did in high school, but I have not gained as much as some.)

Edited July 30, 2016 by auntlada

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I try not to stare at tattoos and piercings -- or at least no get caught staring -- but if you dye your hair that color, if you're not asking for people to look,  you should at least not mind it. People who don't want people to look at them should keep their hair some nondescript color.

Again, I don't actively want people to look at me; I get uncomfortable with too much "attention," and my hair and ink is for me. But really, look if you're gonna look--I do, and I think people can tell what's a "creepy" or rude look (you can just feel it, I swear!) and what's a "normal" look. Plus, being a chick in this world, you can't fool yourself into thinking you're not always being looked at by someone or other at any given moment in public. It's like the rules of PTV: don't be a dick, and it's cool. And, auntlada, if you ever run into me in public and want to have a look, you go ahead; ask to see, even (not that I have any compelling stories to go with any of them). Just don't be the lady on the cell phone at Dunkin' Donuts who squawks, "Oh my god, what is this?" and grabs my wrist! I'm walking away with hot coffee, lady--you're asking for a terrible mess at best, and for one of us to sustain a nasty burn at worst! Plus, you're now ignoring your phone friend!

My gray is part of the reason I do "weird" hair colors, actually! My father's family went gray early and so did I (thanks, Dad!)--and not even a super-fabulous bright gray streak either, just a generous sprinkling all over that dulls everything. So a fairly light blond keeps it in check (I started out as a legit blond anyway, and my eyebrows are still a medium-blond, so I'd say it looks natural enough with the rest of me). The light blond makes it so easy to add blue or purple when I feel like it now; back when I had my natural blond color, it was just a little too dark for the blues and purples to show up in the way I wanted without bleaching first.
 

Edited July 30, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Blergh]

11 hours ago, bilgistic said:

It's back, and the shaving underneath longer hair at the nape of the neck is called an "undercut". There are designs and dyeing that stylists do in the shaving. It's really phenomenal what talented stylists there are out there. I have a bad Instagram habit of too much time spent on hair (and tattoo and cat and art and comics) photos and videos habit...

Getting something off my chest...

I feel like this thread has been a little judgy lately. Being peeved about something--work...cable...food...your neighbors...weather...my cat pissing in my closet--is one thing, but going on about how you don't get why a person would want to look a certain way feels like walking on treacherous road to me. People's appearances are expressions of so many deeply personal things--their socioeconomic status, gender, ethnicity, religious affiliation, age, health--and the way we choose (or can't choose) to appear/display these things is also deeply personal. So, casting aspersions on personal appearance, e.g., apparel, hairstyle or body art, feels judgmental.

I'm not pointing at one specific person; the general tone of the thread has gone this way over the last week or so, and it's an easy place to go. I'm guilty of it, too, in real life and online. I'm not at all suggesting censorship, but more thoughtfulness. If I've made this up because I'm paranoid, you can tell me; we can discuss it. I really do appreciate y'all and our virtual conversations.

Demented Daisy,

   The pic you included is what I was talking about. Just to clarify. Thanks.

 

 Bilgitic,

 

    I'm sorry if my posts upset you. It was not my intention to do that.  It's my belief that, as long as no one crosses the line to attempt to threaten a another's life, person,   family or livelihood, one can express their reaction to whatever however they want- and others can react to said reaction the same as long as they also don't cross said line.

   As I've said all along, to each their own. Which means that I personally may not have any interest in partaking or participating in whatever but as long was whatever doesn't cause harm to others, I respect others' individual choices in partaking in whatever even if I don't agree with it and I can raise objections to it. For the record, I have many friends and colleagues who have unconventional appearances/ attire and while I may not copy these aspects, I respect their rights to present themselves as they wish even if I may question why.

   Without folks questioning, there is no room for thought or introspection and that's what I was trying to do.

[TattleTeeny]

I feel like making judgments--even shallow ones--is a natural thing; really, you (the general "you") can't help it--thoughts just pop up, the same way you can't help if you hate a song or a food. And I don't even think that saying judgy stuff about clothes or even things people can't help appearance-wise is that bad to a certain extent, though it is usually unnecessary to do so to a person's face; there's no need to hurt someone's feelings (even if you hate them, haha!) over something that doesn't matter. That's why the whole "I'm just keeping it real" thing--or "I'm just saying what other people are thinking"--is so stupid to me! Keeping mean things to yourself (or at least not in earshot of the "target") is not being fake so much as it is being tactful--like an adult. So, this may sound so bad of me, but I think that, in some cases, talking behind someone's back is not that terrible when compared to the "keeping it real [and rude]" school of thought of telling someone she looks like shit or whatever. We all have moments. 

[auntlada]

I agree. It's being polite. It's not saying anything if you don't have something nice to say. It's what you are supposed to do. I usually try to wait until I am out of earshot. Or if I am with my best friend from college, we talk about it in code, which is probably not as secret as we think, but we also don't do it at the top of our voices. Sometimes I'll just flick my eyes in the direction I want her to look, she'll glance around casually (it's an art) and then say, "OK." And we both know what we're thinking. Probably everyone else does too, but we try.

Sometimes I wish I'd been able to do things like that -- weird hair colors, not tattoos, not until they are licked on by kittens -- when I was younger. I did not have the courage, though, and my dad would have had a cow. I grew up in a small town, and girls who did things like that were not quite ostracized, but were talked about quite a bit and not in a good way. I don't think I could do it, now, either. I have a job where it would look out of place, and I'm just too conventional. It's what I liked about doing theatre. I could do weird and different things, and it was OK. It wasn't me.

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, I have that eye-flick thing with a couple of people too. With one friend and my sister, I can have a whole conversation of one-word sentences (including just "mm-hm" or "yep") that reveal nothing to anyone around. And no one ever wanted to play Pictionary if my best friend since third grade and I were a team. Seriously, one pencil line would do it sometimes.

[topanga]

1 hour ago, lordonia said:

My feeling is that this is a thread for offloading life's general irritations. If someone is peeved by people who drive while texting, wear open-toed sandals in restaurants, have neck tattoos, use crass swearwords, talk loudly in the movies, etc., and if I do any of those things, I gotta take my lumps. It's not surprising, or unkind, that my habits or looks may be irritating to others, just as theirs are to me.

Hear, hear! We even complain about how people pronounce words regionally. I personally am not trying to condemn anyone or their appearance. I just like coming to this safe space and venting, as you stated, my general life irritations. 

I don't even know if this is a pet peeve, but in my adult life, I've grown to hate amusement parks.  I'm not a Scrooge. Really. I used to live for amusement parks. But I don't like roller coasters anymore--they give me headaches. Spinning rides make me dizzy and sick. I don't like walking around on asphalt in 100 degree heat. Water rides are a nice break from the heat, I guess, but if I'm going to spend time in water, I'd rather be at the ocean than in chlorinated public pool water. 

I still go to amusement parks because my husband and children love them, and I enjoy our time together as a family. But I'd be lying if I said I enjoy myself when I go to the amusement park. I don't. I'm actually miserable all day. 

Edited July 30, 2016 by topanga

[auntlada]

I want to like them, but they are too expensive and too crowded.

[TattleTeeny]

Is something a peeve if you also find it funny? 

People asking me about protein! I'm vegan (which I assume is a peeve in itself to some; "we" get quite a reputation for being unbearable people, apparently). I don't really announce it (I mean, I did just there) but when you're eating with other people, it sometimes comes up (like last weekend at a get-together, I mentioned that the cheese I'd brought was non-dairy just so no one got confused if it tasted different). The thing is, when some people find out, they get so concerned about protein, even if I've never once heard them utter a word about nutrition before. It's amusing because almost none of the people who do this are well versed on where protein comes from anyway; it's like they think they're supposed to mention it. Better (or worse?) yet, "But what do you eeeeeeeeat?"...as if they completely forget all the millions of foods we have on this planet, or as if they themselves consume nothing but a slab of meat on an otherwise bare plate three+ times a day! It's funny but sometimes exhausting! My grandma claims ("publicly" on Facebook!) that I'm skinny because of veganism; she completely forgets all of a sudden that I have been on the scrawny side since I was a child, and she's known me my whole life! And my mom still asks, "But what about fish?" Oy.

Edited July 30, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[bilgistic]

4 hours ago, auntlada said:

That's why I don't mind staring a bit -- or at least looking a little longer than a glance -- at someone with fluorescent green hair, @Petunia13. I try not too say anything in their hearing range, but I figure you don't color your hair fluorescent green if you don't want people to notice it and you.

At my high school reunion recently, one woman had bright blue hair. It was disconcerting and hard to talk to her without staring at it. We did our best, though, or at least I did, to act like it was no big deal and perfectly ordinary. What bothered me most about it wasn't that it was bright blue (Cookie Monster blue) but that it looked horribly damaged. It looked like it had the texture of straw. I always hate to see hair so overprocessed that I can see the strawlike nature of it.

it also peeved me that so many of the women would not use their reading glasses because they didn't want people to see them in glasses. I guess it made them feel old, but it kept sounding like they thought glasses looked awful. I've worn glasses since fourth grade and wanted to tell them to get over themselves because no one cared if they were using reading glasses. I think I said something similar, but less strong to a couple who had been my best friends growing up. Using reading glasses makes you look less old than straining and still not being able to read small print.

As a general statement and theoretically, if one can afford hair dye, one can afford Great Clips. We as a society are obsessed with very odd female standards of beauty, and one of those is the longer the hair, the better--even if it's damaged.

People dye their hair also because they themselves like it, not necessarily because they want others to like it. I would say largely because of the internet, we have become more of a "look at me!" society than ever in history, and I'd hedge that's certainly truer the younger you are. I thank the dieties that I didn't grow up in the digital age.

[bilgistic]

Weirdly, only a couple posts showed up when I made my last post.

I appreciate y'all "hearing" me and responding; it really does mean a lot. I think overall we got to a respectful, better place. It's true that this is a thread for life's annoyances, be what they are. That's always been the case.

Again, thank you for "listening" to me.

[Demented Daisy]

I'm 40 years old.  I have 12 tattoos and my nose is pierced.  Since my teen years, my hair has been:

• blonde 
• brown 
• red
• burgundy 
• black
• black with blonde chunks (not highlights, inch-wide streaks)
• black with blonde bangs
• black with burgundy chunks
• black with purple bangs
• blue black
• turquoise blue
• purple
• pink
• ombré (blonde at the top, then red, then black at the bottom, all faded together)

I have had an Audrey Hepburn pixie to a Bettie Page (long with short bangs) and every length in between -- including the undercut.

I've worn glasses since I was 8 years old.  I've been known to wear contacts on super-special occasions, but they're not worth the hassle most of the time.

Long story short -- look, don't look, I really don't care.  Every aspect of my appearance is for me.  Don't like it?  Don't do it to your body.  ;-)

Edited July 31, 2016 by Demented Daisy
I forgot one of my hair colors.

[HoosierJen]

10 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Is something a peeve if you also find it funny? 

People asking me about protein! I'm vegan (which I assume is a peeve in itself to some; "we" get quite a reputation for being unbearable people, apparently). I don't really announce it (I mean, I did just there) but when you're eating with other people, it sometimes comes up (like last weekend at a get-together, I mentioned that the cheese I'd brought was non-dairy just so no one got confused if it tasted different). The thing is, when some people find out, they get so concerned about protein, even if I've never once heard them utter a word about nutrition before. It's amusing because almost none of the people who do this are well versed on where protein comes from anyway; it's like they think they're supposed to mention it. Better (or worse?) yet, "But what do you eeeeeeeeat?"...as if they completely forget all the millions of foods we have on this planet, or as if they themselves consume nothing but a slab of meat on an otherwise bare plate three+ times a day! It's funny but sometimes exhausting! My grandma claims ("publicly" on Facebook!) that I'm skinny because of veganism; she completely forgets all of a sudden that I have been on the scrawny side since I was a child, and she's known me my whole life! And my mom still asks, "But what about fish?" Oy.

Tattleteeny, I'm with you on this one, but it's a pet peeve I have on behalf of someone else -- a 'peeve by association'? My daughter became vegan a few months ago and it annoys me to hear people give her crap about it. We rented a condo at Gulf Shores with my brother and his family for a week this summer, and when we first got there I went shopping to stock the fridge. Along with the regular food for the rest of us, I made sure to buy her vegan butter, cheese, milk, and chicken nuggets. I swear every time someone opened the fridge they had to make a comment about her 'special' butter. And yes, protein was the word I heard a hundred times that week! I was so pissed off. I'm a meat eater (just finished a big ol beefy, cheesy taco, thank you very much) but I respect everyone's opinions and choices and I don't expect anyone to judge mine. I'm especially proud of my daughter because she's a 20-year-old college student and I think college is a time when you should be exploring new ideas and learning about where you stand on issues and sort of figuring out who you are. This summer she's vegan, next summer she might not be, but it's nobody's place to question her. Especially when she's sitting there eating a mango and my brother was sitting there with hot dogs and french fries -- stop criticizing her food choices! Needless to say, it was a long week.

[zxy556575]

17 hours ago, topanga said:

But I don't like roller coasters anymore--they give me headaches.

I know! When does this happen? I used to ride 'em all the time. Whee! Then somewhere in my thirties, my skull hardened or brain shrunk or whatever and I would get a pounding headache afterwards. Plus having zero interest in amusement park arcade games, food, entertainment, crowds, and heat any more.

17 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

People asking me about protein!

Mercy. So many people have been hoodwinked about the NEED FOR PROTEIN. Supplements, bars, capsules, drinks, brownies, shakes, meal replacements, and those huge 5 lb tubs of powder. The manufacturers must be making a goddamned fortune.

I once worked with a stocky guy who'd been a vegetarian (not vegan) since childhood; he just always disliked the texture and taste of animal flesh. A co-worker once mentioned in passing that she thought all vegetarians were skinny. Well, okay but you do realize that every high calorie dessert, candy, starch, and junky snack food is probably vegetarian?

Edited July 31, 2016 by lordonia

[TattleTeeny]

There is so much "accidentally vegan" food! And I try not to talk about it unless someone asks. My BF is not vegan and if he asked me to make him something, and we had the ingredients (and if it was NOT baking, peacheslatour--haha!), I would. Meat-eaters can do what they like; I'm just eating the way I want to. And, believe me, I know how good greasy, salty, meaty things taste--of course people like it! I did too! I just felt more strongly about other aspects of it. And you are a good mom, HoosierJen!

[Bastet]

One theory about roller coasters and getting older is that your inner ear fluid thickens as you age, and that affects your ability to ride a roller coaster without suffering symptoms.

I pretty much lived on roller coasters during my teens, but it tapered off and I was probably about 30 the last time I rode one.  I have no idea what would happen now (over ten years later); I basically lost interest, but it would be a little bit of a bummer if I lost the ability.  Maybe I should experiment -- and hope not to wind up nauseated with an aching head.

I never could handle the spinning rides at any age; my motion sickness kicked in big time. 

[bmasters9]

8 hours ago, Bastet said:

One theory about roller coasters and getting older is that your inner ear fluid thickens as you age, and that affects your ability to ride a roller coaster without suffering symptoms.

I pretty much lived on roller coasters during my teens, but it tapered off and I was probably about 30 the last time I rode one.  I have no idea what would happen now (over ten years later); I basically lost interest, but it would be a little bit of a bummer if I lost the ability.  Maybe I should experiment -- and hope not to wind up nauseated with an aching head.

I never could handle the spinning rides at any age; my motion sickness kicked in big time. 

And it would be even worse if you had just eaten a big meal prior to going on either a roller coaster or a spinning ride. To that end, a word of advice-- if you have just eaten and want to go on a roller coaster or spinning ride, take a good walk around the park first and take in some of the other attractions and games and all that lot, such that what you ate and drank has time to go through you; that way, when you do get on the roller coaster/spinning ride, there is much less risk of throwing up or having something worse happen to you. 

[Demented Daisy]

And if you feel nauseated, grin.  It suppresses the gag reflex.  We went to Busch Gardens last weekend and I had to do it a couple of times -- I can spin all day, but sudden drops do awful things to my tummy.  Grinning makes it go away for the half a dozen seconds it takes to make the drop.

[backformore]

Amusement parks, like Six Flags, Cedar point, etc -  I am not crazy about.  I can go on A roller coaster, but then I need a cold drink and a seat in the shade.  I was so happy when my kids got to the age where I didn't have to accompany them to roller coaster parks any more.  Roller coaster make me anxious, as I envision falling out, or the ride crashing, or (my biggest fear)  the ride STOPPING while I'm stuck having a panic attack on the top of a hill.  I also hate rides that turn me upside down - it leaves me disoriented.  And spinny rides?  I get dizzy watching them. 

Now THEME parks, like Disney and Universal  Studios,  are another story - I LOVE them.   Walking around Epcot in Florida is my favorite thing to do, looking at all the country pavilions.  Going on rides like the Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean,  I wish I could be there more often.  Can't wait to finally experience the Harry Potter stuff at Universal Orlando. 

[bmasters9]

22 minutes ago, backformore said:

Amusement parks, like Six Flags, Cedar point, etc -  I am not crazy about.  I can go on A roller coaster, but then I need a cold drink and a seat in the shade.  I was so happy when my kids got to the age where I didn't have to accompany them to roller coaster parks any more.  Roller coaster make me anxious, as I envision falling out, or the ride crashing, or (my biggest fear)  the ride STOPPING while I'm stuck having a panic attack on the top of a hill.  I also hate rides that turn me upside down - it leaves me disoriented.  And spinny rides?  I get dizzy watching them. 

What would really be upsetting to me is the ride not only stopping, but stopping while it's in a loop!

[bilgistic]

I have been a vegetarian for a titch over 20 years, which is half my life. (And now that I've figured out I'm lactose intolerant, it looks like I'm pretty much vegan.) Invariably, other people make a much bigger deal of it than I do. My mom has to announce it to the server in a restaurant. My boss does the same thing. Thanks? I can quietly ask for an accommodation if there's nothing on the menu, but there usually is.

I had a former coworker tell me she thought vegetarians "were all skinny" as looked me up and down. Ouch, asshole.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

What would really be upsetting to me is the ride not only stopping, but stopping while it's in a loop!

I was on a ride once that stopped while we were upside-down. It was supposed to, so fine, but the problem was that the metal lap bar was one piece but built for two people and, I assume, to accommodate people of all sizes. So, while my six-foot, 200-pound friend was OK, I felt like I had to brace my hands on the ceiling of the thing! 

Quote

 

I have been a vegetarian for a titch over 20 years, which is half my life. (And now that I've figured out I'm lactose intolerant, it looks like I'm pretty much vegan.) Invariably, other people make a much bigger deal of it than I do. My mom has to announce it to the server in a restaurant. My boss does the same thing. Thanks? I can quietly ask for an accommodation if there's nothing on the menu, but there usually is.

I had a former coworker tell me she thought vegetarians "were all skinny" as looked me up and down. Ouch, asshole.

 

Whoa, rude--and also stupid! It's strange enough that people care what other people eat in general, but even stranger that, in 2016, veg(etari)anism is still so, like, mysterious and exotic to people! I know I said it above, but the "But what do you EAT?!" thing never ceases to amaze me. 

It would bug me too if people announced that on my behalf! I don't like to make a big thing when I go out to eat with people, or ask a dozen questions (partly because I don't want to inconvenience anyone and partly because I don't want my eating habits to become the conversation topic) so it's sometimes tricky, especially since I'm not in many specialty or fancy restaurants--mostly bar & grill type places. My go-to is often a pasta with oil and garlic/red pepper and steamed vegetables or mushrooms over it (the latter is often in the side-dish part of the menu).

[FormerMod-a1]

People can get weird about diets (the general term, not just the "I need to lose weight" kind).  Protein is in so many things - legumes, nuts, vegetables, etc.  I know they mean well, but even as an omnivore myself, I feel for the vegetarians and vegans I know (and the ones I don't know, I suppose) that have to answer this all the time.

About roller coasters, I do love them.  I have been stopped a few times for various reasons.  And yes, even upside down once.  It wasn't as bad as you'd think.  However, it was only a couple of minutes.  Circle rides, however, are another story.  I never loved them, preferred the coasters (and still do), but they didn't used to bother me.  Now they affect my head, and sometimes make me queasy.  The grinning thing mentioned above does work.  I'm another that can attest to that, too.  And even though I never loved the circle rides, it does annoy me (hence a minor peeve) that they affect me so bad now.  They were a nice respit between coasters, or long lines even.  Oh well.  

[bilgistic]

2 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I was on a ride once that stopped while we were upside-down. It was supposed to, so fine, but the problem was that the metal lap bar was one piece but built for two people and, I assume, to accommodate people of all sizes. So, while my six-foot, 200-pound friend was OK, I felt like I had to brace my hands on the ceiling of the thing! 

Whoa, rude--and also stupid! It's strange enough that people care what other people eat in general, but even stranger that, in 2016, veg(etari)anism is still so, like, mysterious and exotic to people! I know I said it above, but the "But what do you EAT?!" thing never ceases to amaze me. 

It would bug me too if people announced that on my behalf! I don't like to make a big thing when I go out to eat with people, or ask a dozen questions (partly because I don't want to inconvenience anyone and partly because I don't want my eating habits to become the conversation topic) so it's sometimes tricky, especially since I'm not in many specialty or fancy restaurants--mostly bar & grill type places. My go-to is often a pasta with oil and garlic/red pepper and steamed vegetables or mushrooms over it (the latter is often in the side-dish part of the menu).

I can only figure it's because I live in the South. People still act like I have three heads when I say I don't eat meat. Barbeque is an art form here, so I'm weird to not eat it.

[TattleTeeny]

People also tend to assume I hate the taste of meat and are confused when I say that I don't. And last week, a friend of a friend said she didn't understand why a vegan would even want foods that mimic meat! I just don't know what is so confusing about it.

[auntlada]

I find it hard to understand because any food I've had that was supposed to be meatlike but wasn't meat tasted nothing at all like meat. In general, I find that foods that are supposed to taste like something they are not (especially if the something they are not is something I really, really like) do not taste at all like that thing. (Maybe I just haven't tried the right meatlike substances.)

I don't think I could be vegetarian or vegan, though, because I always crave the thing I'm not supposed to have (or have decided I won't have) until I give in and eat it. I could do vegetarian for a while in the summer because I do like vegetables and can get good, fresh ones at the farmers market then, and most of the time I don't desperately crave meat. But it wouldn't last. One day I would give in and have a bacon cheeseburger. I don't think I could be vegan unless health forced me to do so. You know, if you have to do stuff, you can even if you don't like it.

It's the same reason I won't do low-carb or no-carb diets (except that I love carbs, while I just enjoy meat). I won't do any diet that completely outlaws any one group of food because that will be the only food group I'll think about. I just watch calories, try to make healthier choices and try to expend more than I take in. And sometimes I have a treat or a day when I decide nothing counts, but I'll try to walk more. I have a couple of co-workers who are always going on and off diets, and I haven't noticed any weight loss at any time in them. Of course, I've also never seen them exercise more than walking about three blocks very occasionally. Doing it my way -- counting calories and getting plenty of exercise -- my husband has lost about 50 pounds and a couple of pants sizes since March. Me, of course, not so much, but it's harder to lose when you've only got 10-20 pounds you want to get rid of. He's planning to be another 100 pounds lighter by this time next year. Also, he's much stronger than I am about saying no to things like chocolate.

Edited August 1, 2016 by auntlada

[Moose135]

I used to ride roller coasters but really don't any more - I've flown formation aerobatics in supersonic jet aircraft, so what's the point?

[Petunia13]

Well this becoming pages about anecdotal experience and admissions processes, personal life stories and not the general complaining/peeves/nit picks. So obviously other people would want one and have some posts for that. 

[janestclair]

I could never be vegan. Cheese is basically a major food group in my world. More power to you, if that's what you want to do, just means there's more cheese for me.   I don't particularly like the taste of meat, so fake meat products always seemed weird to me, but I guess if you're vegan because you don't like how animals are treated, then that makes sense.  

I love roller coasters, but I haven't been on one in years.  Amusement parks involve too much walking and standing for me anymore. There was one roller coaster in Hersheypark that I loved where you'd go upside down and there was only a lap bar pressing you in to the seat, not one of the standard over the shoulder deals.  Now that I think about it, I'm glad I never got stuck upside down on that thing.  I'm not sure how I'd ever climb down off a stuck roller coaster.  

[Blergh]

Someone showed me their Pokemon Go the other day and got all excited about 'capturing' whatever the image was they were supposed to capture - gushily telling me how once I started, I'd be hooked. Well, now that I've seen it in action and all I can say is. . . that's it?! Meh.

[backformore]

1 hour ago, Blergh said:

Someone showed me their Pokemon Go the other day and got all excited about 'capturing' whatever the image was they were supposed to capture - gushily telling me how once I started, I'd be hooked. Well, now that I've seen it in action and all I can say is. . . that's it?! Meh.

Yeah, the hype is that the game gets people OUTSIDE and learning more about local stuff.   here's my experience -  the first or second day Pokemon Go was out, I went to the local park district fitness center.  I'm there a few times a week,  and I have never seen such a crowd. 

Out in front were a dozen people with their faces in their phones and tablets, I guess they were "capturing Pokemons"  BUT - this is a spot with fountains, statues, an open gym, art classes, an art studio,a huge swimming pool complex,  a kids outdoor play place, a tennis court, across the street from a beautiful area with more fountains and statues and a huge library.  .   Yes people were OUTDOORS.   But they weren't looking at anything outside of the Pokémon game. 

So, at least in my town I'm not convinced that it gets people out to enjoy what their towns have to offer. 

[NutMeg]

17 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

People also tend to assume I hate the taste of meat and are confused when I say that I don't. And last week, a friend of a friend said she didn't understand why a vegan would even want foods that mimic meat! I just don't know what is so confusing about it.

(Bolding mine)

I get being vegan or vegetarian, my diet is mostly a pescatarian one, but I have a steak three or four times a year, when I crave it and assume my body needs it (I'm big on listening to what my body craves, etc. Many a times, I've realized a few months later that the specific food I was craving had components that I needed, be there Vit C or Magnesium), so I've learnt to just eat balancced food and go with my cravings (for some reason, my cravings are mostly for healthy things - nuts, fruits, the occasional steak - whereas my mother's are mostly for food like cake with cream, ice cream, etc.)

Once a seriouly veg friend showed up with his own food to cook. And it was that kind of food supposed to mimic meat. Except that it didn't mimic anything, and honestly didn't taste gooid. Frankly, if you want to go veg, why would you ever want a bad copy of what you decided you would stop eating?    

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Once a seriouly veg friend showed up with his own food to cook. And it was that kind of food supposed to mimic meat. Except that it didn't mimic anything, and honestly didn't taste gooid. Frankly, if you want to go veg, why would you ever want a bad copy of what you decided you would stop eating?    

A valid good point, but only relevant if the copies are bad (which is, of course, in the eye--or the mouth--of the beholder). I've definitely tried a few that sucked and never bought them again. From there I found good stuff, or learned to make it myself. I went vegan because I'm not cool with eating anything that comes from an animal. But, again, that doesn't mean I don't like the way animal-based foods taste, particularly cheese. 

Edited August 1, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Petunia13]

I've read the whole thread. It usually was a bit tighter and on theme. 

I usually find school and university finances discussion boring and place for poster's humble bragging. Also if it was in a specific thread others could has school related questions and contribute something useful like stuff about applications, school culture, masters programs, different majors. People who cared could find it easier. 

[NutMeg]

45 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

A valid good point, but only relevant if the copies are bad (which is, of course, in the eye--or the mouth--of the beholder). I've definitely tried a few that sucked and never bought them again. From there I found good stuff, or learned to make it myself. I went vegan because I'm not cool with eating anything that comes from an animal. But, again, that doesn't mean I don't like the way animal-based foods taste, particularly cheese. 

I get you and I understand missing cheese. That friend of mine was vegetarian and missing meat.

As I see it, if you decide for valid reasons no to eat some food, you write it off for good, so why would you want to eat bad copies of them?

It's almost like saying a clean alcoholic could drink fake gin/vodka/whisky.

Closest think I can relate to is that for ethical reasons I don't eat shark fin soup. Now if someone offers me a fake shark fin soup? Thanks, but no thanks.      

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

As I see it, if you decide for valid reasons no to eat some food, you write it off for good, so why would you want to eat bad copies of them?

But like I previously mentioned, I don't eat "bad copies" of it; I eat imitation stuff that tastes good to me. The reason that I don't eat certain foods is that animals are harmed in order for me to have those foods, so I have indeed written those foods off. However, no animals are harmed in the vegan foods that I do eat, even though they mimic characteristics of animal products. Eating things that merely taste like animal-based products, but are not made from animals or their by-products, isn't violating any ethical rule I have made for myself.

It's no different than, say, being lactose intolerant and switching your regular milk for a lactose-free brand. You may like the real milk and you're not ditching it because of its taste, but simply that you now have a reason to need something that tastes just like it but isn't it. 

As for shark-fin soup, I've never had it. But if I had, and liked its taste, why would I not eat a non-animal version provided it tasted the same?

Edited August 1, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[JTMacc99]

38 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

Wait, vegan is no butter right? No way no how. I love butter! Maybe I could go vegetarian. I could do without meat, but not butter. 

Ha!  During my vegan cooking period (that's a whole other story...) replacing butter was among the easiest things to do. It's not exactly the same, but all sorts of rich fats can be extracted from the plant kingdom. 

[NutMeg]

19 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

But like I previously mentioned, I don't eat "bad copies" of it; I eat imitation stuff that tastes good to me. The reason that I don't eat certain foods is that animals are harmed in order for me to have those foods, so I have indeed written those foods off. However, no animals are harmed in the vegan foods that I do eat, even though they mimic characteristics of animal products. Eating things that merely taste like animal-based products, but are not made from animals or their by-products, isn't violating any ethical rule I have made for myself.

It's no different than, say, being lactose intolerant and switching your regular milk for a lactose-free brand. You may like the real milk and you're not ditching it because of its taste, but simply that you now have a reason to need something that tastes just like it but isn't it. 

As for shark-fin soup, I've never had it. But if I had, and liked its taste, why would I not eat a non-animal version provided it tasted the same?

Your post is making me reflect. My first instinct was that choice and allergy had very different practical outcomes. Then I started to think...

- if I'm allergic to wool, as a friend of mine is, I wear cotton and silk in the winter. Same if I refuse to use wool for ethical reason (well, probably not silk either then)

- if I refused to use any animal products, what kind of shoes would I buy? I'd be ok with sport shoes and sandals, but what about dressy shoes for work and the many dressy occasions in my life? Satin, velours, I had a few over the years, but leather and to a lesser extent suede are still staples. So how do dress formally?

- I still think that I wouldn't eat something that doesn't quite taste like the real thing if I craved the taste of the real thing. It seems a bit masochistic to me, why not find a new thing to like and replace the one you don't allow yourself anymore rather than go for a doppelgänger? (It's like you're ending a relation that you're not happy with, so why continue pining over people looking like that person who you don't want in your life?)  

[TattleTeeny]

Well, I don't want to reroute a thread about peeves, but the faux chicken strips I'm making right now to go with lemon pasta and roasted fresh asparagus do taste to me like the same product actually made of a chicken. Regarding the relationship analogy, I guess I view it more like I dumped that tall guy with brown hair (qualities I like, i.e, the taste of the real chicken) for being a dick (quality I don't like, i.e., the killing of the real chicken)...but here's a tall guy with brown hair (well, not right here--he's upstairs bumping around in his cluttered man-room doing god knows what) that is not a dick, i.e., the qualities I like without the one that I don't. I'm not pining for my ex dick chicken (haha!), even if my current BF has some common characteristics.

But, yeah, the clothing analogies work well, I think.

Basically, the doppelgänger I am going for with my food allows me (well, you know--not me personally) to harm a creature in order to eat it. That's what's important to me. I just want the various tastes of different food without the harm to any animals. It's not at all masochistic to me, and even if it were, I'm more concerned with not feeling sadistic. Haha, what may have been masochistic was when I decided it was time to learn to cook more than pasta. Oy. I'm better at it now, but still not passionate about it, and, man, do I make a mess of the kitchen!

Edited August 1, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[bilgistic]

Dick chicken.

[TattleTeeny]

It's my new band, Dick Chicken and the Kitchen-Mess Masochists.

[auntlada]

So basically you're saying I have not had the right kind of faux meat, @TattleTeeny? (I am sorry if faux meat isn't the best or right term. I'm not sure what to call it. Vegetarians and vegans are pretty thin on the ground here and -- I think -- nonexistent in my family. I think my brother may in fact be the opposite of a vegan and won't eat anything unless it is some sort of animal product.)

[TattleTeeny]

Oh, maybe--it's all relative, I suppose, like anything else. But I've had some bad stuff (like, one bite and I threw it away!) and then found better stuff, like Gardein products ("crab" cakes that I couldn't believe, and now keep on hand at all times). And we have an awesome (and inexpensive) restaurant nearby that you would swear was tricking you with just about everything they serve. Cheese is definitely some trickier business though, and an area where, often, the more you pay, the better it is. As for cream cheese, mayo, and sour cream, I've found really good replacements. 

 

[GHScorpiosRule]

Hey everyone!

I've got two peeves I need to get off my chest. The first, WARNING: TMI, but I really need to vent about it. So, here goes:

Last Thursday, I went for my annual with my OB/GYN. BUT, she was booked and the insurance I had was only good until the end of the month (Long story, better suited for another thread).  So I couldn't wait until she was available. So, I agreed to see another provider, which, like an idiot, I thought meant another doctor in her office, not another provider under the MedStar umbrella. Man, I LOATHE Medstar, but I love my doctors and surgeons and nurses, who are THE BEST and were/are still a great support system during my cancer and post chemo. Anyhoo. So I said yes. BIG MISTAKE. I should have waited until my regular GYN was available, because...I detest being condescended to. Jackass. Talking to me like I was a simpleton, telling me how to do a self exam, how I need to take vitamins and exercise to avoid osteoporosis since I'm 46. Ass kept getting my hysterectomy and mastectomy confused; kept asking when my last menstrual was...that I didn't need a PAP, but he just wanted to do an exam since I still have my cervix.

Before I'm even ready, he jams his finger inside me. Now I've had numerous exams, but this was more painful than the actual PAP! Felt  like a pipe was being shoved inside me. Gave me nightmare visions of when I lost my virginity. No care.  I guess he was checking my ovaries.Turns out I don't need a PAP every year now. Just every 3 years. Now why in tarnation didn't my GYN's office tell me this when I was making the appointment??!!!

Then Jackass tries to tell me I'll probably be going through menopause soon. Idiot. I went through it during fucking chemo.

I've had no problems with male GYNS or doctors in the past; this guy, though...I thought he was in my regular GYN's group, but no. Had to go to the group hospital to see him.

Well at least I'm getting my diagnostic now on the one boob I do have. This will be the last time I'll be putting it through a pancake press, cuz come January, I'm lopping it off. Hooray! I get the results the same day, and it's normal. But that boob is still going under the guillotine.

My second peeve is more on the petty/whiny side. It's been a long time since I've had to live with no AC. And it's not that I don't mind the two weeks that I have to do without since my complex is doing an overhaul and replacing the old pipes. It's that the exhaust fan is so bloody loud! Not the cooler itself that they brought in and attached a tube to the window. And if I had my old strength (which I haven't been able to recoup since chemo ended this past January), I wouldn't even mind having to empty the jug inside that's filled with water every day. Well, okay, I only have to do it on the weekends, and the company doing the work, come in every morning to empty it for me. It's annoying. And I just got new bedding. Luckily, I have a great property management, because they sent some guys to move my bed which was partially blocking the window where the tube needed to go. And when they're done, maintenance will come back to put the bed back.  

I've decided, because, sadly, for me, it's all been lip service, and no one who will come to help me, that when my parents come in January when I have the other mastectomy and final reconstruction, to move my bed so it's not blocking the window. I think between my father and myself, we can do it! Unless I can get a couple of my sister's friends to lend me their shoulders. 

Edited August 2, 2016 by GHScorpiosRule

[Sun-Bun]

I have a friend who has been a vegetarian most of her life because she is a huge animal rights activist and doesn't agree with the unethical treatment of animals raised for food or goods. She's no hypocrite about it either since she doesn't wear any leather goods or make-up tested on animals. Good on her and I sympathize with animals too, but I couldn't ever give up seafood or stylish leather purses/shoes!

She does eat tofurkey for holidays and fake bacon just as brunch filler, so I don't question it too much.

Another friend of mine who became vegan a few years ago strictly for dietary purposes---she's over 60 and wanted to stay skinny. She misses the taste of meat though and eats all those fake meat products/vegan cheese and all.

I guess vegetarians/vegans eating fake meat is akin to non-drinkers who drink non-alcoholic beer or people who have to drink their coffee decaffeinated: they just love/miss the taste, even though they can no longer enjoy the authentic ingredients.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I guess vegetarians/vegans eating fake meat is akin to non-drinkers who drink non-alcoholic beer or people who have to drink their coffee decaffeinated: they just love/miss the taste, even though they can no longer enjoy the authentic ingredients.

AH! The coffee is the perfect example, and as a huge fan of it, I should have thought of that! I totally would drink decaf for just the taste if, for whatever reason, I couldn't have/didn't want caffeine anymore!

I still wear/use leather stuff I had before I changed my eating. I don't ever buy it new anymore, though I will buy stuff now only if it's vintage (most of my closet is at this point). And since I was in high school, I have always done the cruelty-free cosmetics and household stuff too. That was actually pretty tough in the pre-internet days, let me tell you!

GHScorpiosRule: OY VEY! That's a whole bunch of shit to deal with, man! As someone who dreads the gyno to the point of having to take an Ativan before an exam (doctor ordered), I am sorry you had to deal with all of that.
 

Edited August 2, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[zxy556575]

So sorry, @GHScorpiosRule. Condescending and physically careless are a bad combo. I saw a dentist once who jabbed me so hard with the novocaine needles that I ended up with large bruises on my cheek. I emphasize that I saw her once.

My niggling peeve is that almost nobody in my neighborhood bothers to recycle. I put out my bin on Mondays and there are maybe 3 other people on both sides of the street who have theirs out. What's the freaking problem?! We are provided with the bins, we don't have to separate any more -- just toss stuff in and you're done. Pickup is the same day as regular trash so it doesn't even require an extra trip to the damned curb. Back when we had to save, sort, and drive to recycling centers, no, I usually didn't do it either. But now it is zero trouble!

[Bastet]

Quote

So basically you're saying I have not had the right kind of faux meat, @TattleTeeny?

Maybe, maybe you'd hate them all.  I live in Los Angeles, so there are plenty of good options here.  I've had some faux versions of various meats that I found tasty, but they were definitely the exception and I've never had any that were an acceptable replacement (for this omnivore) of the thing they purported to mimic.  If my personal rules for the ethical consumption of animal products required I give them up entirely, I'd be mostly down to vegetables and pasta.

But, fundamentally, I join with all you fine people here who have said scrutinizing other people's dietary choices - or making a big production of their own - is a peeve.  Just order your food and enjoy!

Other shared peeves?  People who don't recycle, even though the city makes it so easy to do so.  It is almost the least we can do, short only of nothing!  Reducing and reusing are more important, but recycling plays a role and it's quite convenient in many places.  To shove recyclable materials into the rubbish bin rather than the equally-sized and just-as-frequently-collected recycle bin in my city makes me want to bop neighbors over the head.

Also, dismissive doctors.  I've generally had good luck over the years, but there have been a couple of notable exceptions (who, with all due credit to my insurance company since they are so often - and so often rightly - maligned, were easy to replace).

Edited August 2, 2016 by Bastet