Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[TattleTeeny]

@Bastet, is it a Shark? Every Shark product I have ever had us delighted me…

until it suddenly just quits. Every single time.

[stewedsquash]

@annzeepark914I will check out that goya product. Thanks for the tip. 
 

[Bethany]

Pet peeve, employers bitching about how they can't find anyone willing to work for them but expecting people to work for minimum wage, crappy hours and no benefits.  My nephew is job hunting right now and you'd think he'd be spoiled for choice based on what you read in the news.  Not so much.

Edited November 23, 2022 by Elizabeth Anne

[EtheltoTillie]

On 11/22/2022 at 1:20 PM, peacheslatour said:

I make Ina Garten's chocolate cupcakes with dark chocolate and peppermint ganache frosting. 

Is it like a Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie?  I love those . . .

[peacheslatour]

8 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Is it like a Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie?  I love those . . .

The cupcakes are made with Hershy's Dark Chocolate syrup, actually. The ganache is made with semisweet chocolate chips and these -

[EtheltoTillie]

Sounds good, @peacheslatour

[Cloud9Shopper]

People who use post histories (you can see them on Reddit), profile pictures, content, etc. to make assumptions about a person and try to win an argument, or prove themselves morally superior. Me personally? I don’t really care that much what others post elsewhere on Reddit when they argue with me or troll me but some people take this stuff way too seriously. 

Yesterday in a group I’m in I said in my opinion, a character is a terrible person who didn’t deserve a relationship and I don’t see why she’s so admired. The amount of people who told me to go read my Bible and “walk a mile in her shoes” (of someone who doesn’t exist) and “let he is without sin cast the first stone” was almost laughable, and “how could you say that when you have an altar as your cover photo.” I would bet any money that none of these people who think they are morally superior to me attend church or have a religion. And even if they do I would bet any money they have said mean things to others, been bullies, or done stupid shit themselves at some points. Yet here they are trying to tell me how to be a good Christian and what kind of attitudes I need to have towards a character who’s a miserable mess. (I personally don’t believe having a bad life or mental health issues automatically means someone is a saint who you should just tolerate and fall all over, but it seems we’re headed that way.) Yes I know you’re on the Internet so you’re perfect. And I wish I could throw it back in their face and tell them that worshipping a fictional character is basically like worshipping a false God. 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Cloud9Shopper

[Blergh]

3 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

People who use post histories (you can see them on Reddit), profile pictures, content, etc. to make assumptions about a person and try to win an argument, or prove themselves morally superior. Me personally? I don’t really care that much what others post elsewhere on Reddit when they argue with me or troll me but some people take this stuff way too seriously. 

Yesterday in a group I’m in I said in my opinion, a character is a terrible person who didn’t deserve a relationship and I don’t see why she’s so admired. The amount of people who told me to go read my Bible and “walk a mile in her shoes” (of someone who doesn’t exist) and “let he is without sin cast the first stone” was almost laughable, and “how could you say that when you have an altar as your cover photo.” I would bet any money that none of these people who think they are morally superior to me attend church or have a religion. And even if they do I would bet any money they have said mean things to others, been bullies, or done stupid shit themselves at some points. Yet here they are trying to tell me how to be a good Christian and what kind of attitudes I need to have towards a character who’s a miserable mess. (I personally don’t believe having a bad life or mental health issues automatically means someone is a saint who you should just tolerate and fall all over, but it seems we’re headed that way.) Yes I know you’re on the Internet so you’re perfect. And I wish I could throw it back in their face and tell them that worshipping a fictional character is basically like worshipping a false God. 

And what do you bet they aren't above worshiping other people as false dieties (which is also very much condemned in Scripture)?

[TattleTeeny]

I truly hate when people cite some mysterious “they” doing something or other and when you ask who exactly who “they” are, there's no solid answer.

One such example is when an actress who my sister liked years ago wore something idiotic and I said as much, my sister got mad and said, “THEY make her do it!” However, these nebulous things that “they” are doing can also be heinous and ridiculous — and likely entirely fictitious. And yet, no one can seem to say who “they” are or where/when these things are happening.

Edited November 24, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[RealHousewife]

Shopping with friends. Some people think it's weird to shop alone, but I prefer it. 

Love shopping, love my friends. If we're just hanging at the mall to catch up, totally cool. But when I shop with friends, I don't get to nearly as many stores as I do on my own. Feeling pressured to go shopping with a friend tomorrow, and while I don't want to hurt her feelings, I really prefer to shop solo Black Friday. 

[Bastet]

On 11/23/2022 at 8:47 AM, TattleTeeny said:

@Bastet, is it a Shark? Every Shark product I have ever had us delighted me…

until it suddenly just quits. Every single time.

Yep, it's a Shark.

21 hours ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Pet peeve, employers bitching about how they can't find anyone willing to work for them but expecting people to work for minimum wage, crappy hours and no benefits.  My nephew is job hunting right now and you'd think he'd be spoiled for choice based on what you read in the news.  Not so much.

If I had a dollar for every time I've had to explain this reality to someone, I could cover my holiday shopping costs.

[RealHousewife]

People who insist on you having a big smile taking pictures. If you know I don't love taking pictures or the way I look smiling, either leave me alone or just take the pic. Lots of direction, and then I just look sad/frustrated in the pics. 

[Bethany]

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Shopping with friends. Some people think it's weird to shop alone, but I prefer it. 

Same.  The only way it works for me is if we head to a mall (a very rare event for me) and we go our separate ways with an agreed upon meeting point at a certain time.  Otherwise I feel like I always end up trailing along behind someone while they shop and I am bored out of my mind.

[Bethany]

Today's peeve: people who know about someone based on one interaction or one anecdote related to them about someone they do not even know and they instantly do an armchair psychoanalysis in a way that makes it seem like they are pronouncing words of wisdom. 

This happens all the time with celebrities of course, we read an article or two and decide we've got them figured out, but it doesn't really matter as we don't know them and they will never know what we think about them - but it does matter when you do this about mutual friends.  Stop it,

[TattleTeeny]

19 hours ago, Bastet said:

Yep, it's a Shark.

I knew it! I do not get it at all, but I knew it!

@RealHousewife, I am with you on both your peeves -- picture-taking and shopping. I like thrift stores and I like to tale my time! And standing around unnaturally smiling for more than 2 seconds makes me feel crazy.

[RealHousewife]

I know, I know. I have a lot of pet peeves. It's been some drama during the holiday for me.

Next pet peeve-people who blow up your phone if you have an argument. Do they not get bored? Don't they feel negative energy from it? I find it so draining, and it takes a toll on me mentally. 

[oliviabenson]

People talking badly about you in a foreign language thinking you don’t understand them 😡

Say it to my face in English 

[isalicat]

8 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

People talking badly about you in a foreign language thinking you don’t understand them 😡

Say it to my face in English 

Me being a snarky girl would have a bunch of phrases in some language I *know* these people don't know and I would just start chattering away in that language to get them really riled up. But then again, I care very little about what other people think of me and enjoy poking stupidity in its rear end. 😸

[peacheslatour]

36 minutes ago, isalicat said:

Me being a snarky girl would have a bunch of phrases in some language I *know* these people don't know and I would just start chattering away in that language to get them really riled up. But then again, I care very little about what other people think of me and enjoy poking stupidity in its rear end. 😸

Ixnay on the arksnay!

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

People talking badly about you in a foreign language thinking you don’t understand them 😡

Say it to my face in English 

I love when someone does that to me in Spanish, which I understand fairly well, and then I can embarrass them by responding in Spanish.

[Cloud9Shopper]

Amazon not keeping their shit together and charging me for an item that I returned last month and have proof of returning in an email. (I just got off customer service and demanded a refund.) Stop punishing me because someone else doesn’t know how to scan packages. This is the second time in the last month or so that they have either charged me for a return or sent me an email saying they’d do so even though I got automated emails saying I completed the return. It’s making me not want to renew Prime.

My mom acting like me want to quit hobbies is the end of the world. I’m 37; if I want to take a break from or quit church choir, I will deal with it with the director if he gets mad about it. It’s not a paid job and it’s not the grand inquisition. I think I can tell when something is no longer fun. 

[TattleTeeny]

This is a really stupid one, but the term "munching," as in eating. I hate it in general -- it just sounds dumb, but the real peeve is when it is used for a food that wouldn't even make a "munch" sound, like oatmeal or ice cream or mashed potatoes or even a burger or a nonfried chicken leg!

[Bethany]

17 hours ago, Bastet said:

I love when someone does that to me in Spanish, which I understand fairly well, and then I can embarrass them by responding in Spanish.

Years ago a friend of mine and I were on the metro in Montreal and two old (well old to us at the time) ladies were talking in a language I didn't understand.  They were looking at us and clearly we were the topic of discussion.  Anyway they got the shock of their lives when my friend starting talking to them in fluent Hungarian.  I'll never forget the looks on their faces!  Turns out they weren't really being too insulting but were definitely not saying things they'd have said if they knew we could understand them!  Hopefully lesson learned.

[RealHousewife]

People inviting themselves to stuff. My attitude in general is the more, the merrier. But it puts me in an awkward position when other people don't want to include others. 

[theredhead77]

1 minute ago, RealHousewife said:

People inviting themselves to stuff. My attitude in general is the more, the merrier. But it puts me in an awkward position when other people don't want to include others. 

Mine is the opposite. People talking about future plans in front of those who aren't invited. If someone in the group isn't invited, and there are no plans to extend an invitation, don't talk about those plans in front of them. Especially in a situation where there is room for more.

[RealHousewife]

2 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Mine is the opposite. People talking about future plans in front of those who aren't invited. If someone in the group isn't invited, and there are no plans to extend an invitation, don't talk about those plans in front of them. Especially in a situation where there is room for more.

I don't know many people who'd do that. My post was regarding instances where a friend asks themselves what you've got going on that day, then asks to join. Not one of us bring up future plans they're excluded from in font of them. 

Edited November 26, 2022 by RealHousewife

[Jaded]

On 11/24/2022 at 3:18 PM, RealHousewife said:

People who insist on you having a big smile taking pictures. If you know I don't love taking pictures or the way I look smiling, either leave me alone or just take the pic. Lots of direction, and then I just look sad/frustrated in the pics. 

When I was younger I used to smile with my lips closed when I'd look and see someone looking at me. It was my automatic reaction in those situations. I remember a friend of my Mom's asked me why I  smiled at everyone like that. In a way that made me feel like I was even more of a weirdo then I thought I was. My peeve related to this is people who pick the tiniest thing to point out about someone in a negative way when they thing isn't anything abnormal.

On 11/25/2022 at 3:19 PM, oliviabenson said:

People talking badly about you in a foreign language thinking you don’t understand them 😡

Say it to my face in English 

My Nana used to talk about how her Mother-In-Law used to do that. She said she'd tell my Grandfather to tell his Mom in German that if she had something to say about her to say it in English because she knew my Nana didn't speak that language.

Edited November 27, 2022 by Jaded
Rewording

[theredhead77]

When I venture outside of my favorite sushi place and am disappointed. You would think I would have learned my lesson here but nope. Tonight I ordered a $9 ninja roll from my favorite ramen place. I understand sushi is expensive but I've had better quality from the grocery store. At least the ramen was tasty as usual.

[oliviabenson]

53 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

When I venture outside of my favorite sushi place and am disappointed. You would think I would have learned my lesson here but nope. Tonight I ordered a $9 ninja roll from my favorite ramen place. I understand sushi is expensive but I've had better quality from the grocery store. At least the ramen was tasty as usual.

My local sushi place increased their prices $3+ per roll. I rarely get it now.

[theredhead77]

18 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

My local sushi place increased their prices $3+ per roll. I rarely get it now.

That's a bummer. My favorite spot only raised their prices between 50 cents and $1.00 depending on the type of item. It's a husband and wife team, he is the sushi chef, she does the kitchen work. On occasion another adult family member, and their minor daughter help out. They're still takeout only but will seat a regular or two inside depending on how many takeout orders they have.

Lunch specials are a phenomenal value. 2 huge rolls, soup and salad for $13 or 3 rolls, soup and salad for $15. I tried this other spot people were raving about (not the place I went to tonight. Their lunch special was a joke. 2 tiny rolls and soup or salad for $15.

[oliviabenson]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

That's a bummer. My favorite spot only raised their prices between 50 cents and $1.00 depending on the type of item. It's a husband and wife team, he is the sushi chef, she does the kitchen work. On occasion another adult family member, and their minor daughter help out. They're still takeout only but will seat a regular or two inside depending on how many takeout orders they have.

Lunch specials are a phenomenal value. 2 huge rolls, soup and salad for $13 or 3 rolls, soup and salad for $15. I tried this other spot people were raving about (not the place I went to tonight. Their lunch special was a joke. 2 tiny rolls and soup or salad for $15.

Now a big roll with fish is $14+. No fish like $9 and it’s small. A rice bowl is $17. It’s robbery of my wallet lol. 
 

$15 is a good deal !

[Katy M]

When people say a book or movie is historically inaccurate, but when you ask how they just stay "It is.  Do some research."  No, you're the one saying stuff.  You don't have to detail out every little thing, but just tell me one big thing.

[annzeepark914]

I detest that phrase, "Do some/the/your research".  Cite an example instead.

[TattleTeeny]

I have no problem with the “do some research” thing for some people — the ones who don’t believe what’s right in front of their faces. They’re not going to believe whatever I cite anyway, no matter how much more plausible/simple it is than whatever convoluted thing they think. But I think it’s funnier to calmly, almost dismissively say just, “OK” when they unleash some nonsense, haha! They pretty much know I am not “OK” with it so the patience/indifference (and tiny trace of snark) behind the “OK” seems to bug them. The tough part is the execution when you just want to scream.

[Katy M]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I have no problem with the “do some research” thing for some people — the ones who don’t believe what’s right in front of their faces. They’re not going to believe whatever I cite anyway, no matter how much more plausible/simple it is than whatever convoluted thing they think. But I think it’s funnier to calmly, almost dismissively say just, “OK” when they unleash some nonsense, haha! They pretty much know I am not “OK” with it so the patience/indifference (and tiny trace of snark) behind the “OK” seems to bug them. The tough part is the execution when you just want to scream.

I think do some research is fine when someone is being obviously combative and you can tell they just want to argue.  Life's too short.  But, that's not usually the case when someone just wants to know why you're saying something is historically and culturally inaccurate.  They generally just want to know why you said that.  And since you took the time to say it, you can take a few more seconds and give one example.  again, I'm not asking for an essay with footnotes.  But, historically inaccurate to one person is for example, me with the cartoon Anastasia, where they were shown to be having a party the night before they died, Anastasia was markedly the wrong age and Rasputin was still alive when he shouldn't have been, and someone else's idea of historically inaccurate is that they got a date one day off.  Which is fine, but that's why I want to know.  So, I can gauge how much I need to side eye.

[ABay]

"Do your research" gets my hackles up because it's dismissive and arrogant.

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRulethe peppermint mocha coffee I posted about is alright. Not the best, a fresh peppermint mocha is far better. I wouldn't buy this version again but I'll make what I have.

The gingerbread version was really good and I'll buy it again next holiday season. I usually put a sprinkle of nutmeg, cinnamon, or pie spice (penzey's) in my plain coffee grounds so this was a nice change.

[Sun-Bun]

On 11/19/2022 at 7:24 PM, PRgal said:

This is almost as bad as people using their speaker phone in public.  There's something called headphones.  And I don't think the person on the other hand would appreciate that the entire conversation is being publicly broadcast!

I swear, it’s like you can tell someone’s breeding based on their cellphone habits.
 

Just the other night at an upscale Mexican restaurant, this couple in the booth behind my husband and I decided to keep their speaker phone turned all the way up while seemingly talking to their LOUD and crying young child/ren at home for what was about 15 or 20 minutes…It was just so weirdly disrespectful to all of us sitting there around them trying to eat our food in peace—like what kind of folks above the age of 15 would find that to be remotely acceptable behavior?!

Their server finally requested that they please turn their phone down but I didn’t hear anymore out of them until my husband finally LOUDLY said to me, “Who uses speakerphones in restaurants?! Some people have NO class!” 

[Bookworm 1979]

On 11/26/2022 at 12:58 PM, theredhead77 said:

Mine is the opposite. People talking about future plans in front of those who aren't invited. If someone in the group isn't invited, and there are no plans to extend an invitation, don't talk about those plans in front of them. Especially in a situation where there is room for more.

There was a group of ladies in my office who would do that all the time.  They would have these big girls night out dinners and plan them in front of me (why no, I was never invited). Or else they would talk about it the day after, right in front of me.  A few times they would get together with their husbands. One of the ladies had a husband that also worked for our company, and he would always ask me, "And why weren't YOU there?"  I would always say, "Because I'm not one of the cool kids and didn't get invited."

It hurt a lot, but after a while you just learn to ignore it.  

[TattleTeeny]

15 hours ago, ABay said:

"Do your research" gets my hackles up because it's dismissive and arrogant.

Oh, definitely. That's why the specific type of people I described deserve it.

That said, I hate when people assume someone hasn't done exactly that (as evidenced by the fact that they aren't the ones spouting complete garbage nonsense).

[DrSpaceman73]

'Do your research' typically means go read these online quack ideas and ignore any legitimate scholarly criticism of those 'sources'

[Cloud9Shopper]

Sort of piggybacking off “do some research” is people who can’t seem to do anything for themselves at all. 

I write fanfiction and want to try original fiction at some point. I like meeting other writers and being supportive of new ones but not when they ask me stuff like this:

”What story ideas could you suggest that haven’t been used in (such and such show)?” (This isn’t my story. I am not here to come up with ideas for you.) 

“How does this work?” (I am not an expert in what you’re asking me about as I have already mentioned three other times. Google it or ask someone who has that expertise and just do your best.) 

“How do you suggest I write this?” (Not as annoying as I am willing to show an example of my own writing if relevant, but still annoying.)

I feel like there has to be a line. I am willing to listen to ideas, answer some questions and cheer people on. But if you want to write, fanfic or otherwise, I cannot do all the work for you. At some point you either need to look this stuff up or watch whatever show and study the characters, the canon, etc. to get your ideas. There are tons of free resources for writing tips, Discord servers to meet other writers, writing subreddits, etc. I started a side gig as a tutor recently and I tell my writing students the same thing. I am only here to guide you; I am not going to write the paper for you. Some of them get mad and rate me down for it, but the students who genuinely want my help have been happy with me. 

Edited November 28, 2022 by Cloud9Shopper

[Sun-Bun]

5 hours ago, Bookworm 1979 said:

I would always say, "Because I'm not one of the cool kids and didn't get invited."

It hurt a lot, but after a while you just learn to ignore it.  

I’m so sorry you deal with this rude annoyance; I’ve been there and in fact I have some coworkers who regularly do that to me too. I’ve learned to just ignore it over the years, but it does kinda suck constantly feeling like an outsider, especially when you really like your workplace otherwise. And even though most of the time you likely wouldn’t choose to go anyway, an invite is *always* appreciated; I’ll never understand why some folks seemingly get off on excluding others!

Then again I was never part of the “cool kid” crowd anyway, so it’s nothing new to me; most of the time I don’t even like the “cool kids” as people I’d hang out with anyway, so I don’t even bother to be bothered. And then I remind myself that I’m actually fun as Hell and it’s their loss if their pea brains simply can’t comprehend my awesomeness!🤪
 

[oliviabenson]

5 hours ago, Bookworm 1979 said:

There was a group of ladies in my office who would do that all the time.  They would have these big girls night out dinners and plan them in front of me (why no, I was never invited). Or else they would talk about it the day after, right in front of me.  A few times they would get together with their husbands. One of the ladies had a husband that also worked for our company, and he would always ask me, "And why weren't YOU there?"  I would always say, "Because I'm not one of the cool kids and didn't get invited."

It hurt a lot, but after a while you just learn to ignore it.  

I’m sorry you got mistreated. It does suck to be excluded.

Edited November 28, 2022 by oliviabenson

[Bethany]

18 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

I swear, it’s like you can tell someone’s breeding based on their cellphone habits.

I've long noticed inconsiderate cellphone users but yesterday was the first time I noticed an inconsiderate laptop user.  He was parked at a table in Starbucks playing a game, loudly. Ridiculously loudly.  FInally one of the employees went over and asked him to use earphones.  Instead he profanely told off the poor kid and then flounced out of the restaurant.  No doubt to spread his cheery disposition and loud gaming habit in another establishment.  Lucky them.

[rcc]

6 hours ago, Bookworm 1979 said:

There was a group of ladies in my office who would do that all the time.  They would have these big girls night out dinners and plan them in front of me (why no, I was never invited). Or else they would talk about it the day after, right in front of me.  A few times they would get together with their husbands. One of the ladies had a husband that also worked for our company, and he would always ask me, "And why weren't YOU there?"  I would always say, "Because I'm not one of the cool kids and didn't get invited."

It hurt a lot, but after a while you just learn to ignore it.  

That happened to me at work. Girls night out never interested me because I don't drink a lot like them. But the fact that they announced it so loudly and not invite 3 of us was what bothered me. Trying to intentionally hurt someone's feelings is wrong and ignorant.

[RealHousewife]

Not being able to watch videos in chronological order on YouTube anymore. 

[Bethany]

Goddam scammers.  Today alone I've received 5 texts from these idiots trying to get me to give them my credit card details for one made up reason or another.  I hate these people -because aside from wasting my time I know they are targeting vulnerable people who cannot afford to lose money to these morons.

[peacheslatour]

4 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Goddam scammers.  Today alone I've received 5 texts from these idiots trying to get me to give them my credit card details for one made up reason or another.  I hate these people -because aside from wasting my time I know they are targeting vulnerable people who cannot afford to lose money to these morons.

Before my dad went into care, he was handing out money to anyone that asked him to. There were these "official" looking mailings for all kinds of causes and political fund raising scams and he just didn't know the difference. He once thought he had won five million dollars and all he had to do was send them ten thousand for "handling". If his bank hadn't called me, he would have sent it.

[Bethany]

24 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Before my dad went into care, he was handing out money to anyone that asked him to.

This was always my worry with my mother.  She had very limited vision and while her mind was still sharp she was also too ready to believe any hard luck story someone gave her.  In the months since she died we've found that she was doing monthly automatic donations to, at last count, 12 different charities.  None were scams I don't think (although frankly some of the religious ones look dodgy to me) and this brings me to another peeve;

Has anyone here tried to get your name off one of these places?  Good luck to you.  Most do not want to stop sending you begging letters.  Even after you're dead apparently.  The only way I could stop the monthly withdrawals was to close her bank account down.  That got a reaction alright.  But they can send me appeal letters all they want, they go straight into the recycling bin.  And now I know which charities I will never support.