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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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26 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I don't know if this is technically a pet peeve but I guess it irks me when people that are well educated and claim to love to read and learn seem to have gaps in their vocabulary.

I've been seeing a certified lymphedema therapist for the past few weeks. She's a very pleasant young woman of 32 who is also an occupational therapist by training and education, which means she's pretty well educated. Lymphedema therapy is very intensive and requires massage and being tightly wrapped almost daily with ACE bandages to force the legs to push lymphatic fluid upward instead of causing the legs and feet to swell. It's time consuming, so to pass the time while she's working we've chatted on many subjects. She's relatively new to my state so she has been asking for advice on good restaurants, things to do and see, etc. and she's been very grateful for some of my suggestions.

Anyway, every now and then she'll ask me what a word I've said means. She has asked about one word every week for the past 3 weeks.

So far they are "bigamist", "palatial" and "gable". 

I know I probably have a better than average vocabulary, but I guess I expect most people at her age with her level of education to know these words, especially if they're self-proclaimed lovers of literature.

I remember learning as a kid what a gable was after reading "House of the Seven Gables" by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Then I remember touring the actual house in Salem, MA when I was in my 20s. I've also heard the word used in reference to roofs on private houses many times in my life. I also remember learning what a bigamist was as a teenager when learning about the Mormon religion and its history with bigamy. And as to "palatial", the phrase "palatial estate" is pretty common. I am sure I knew that word when I was 32.

This is a woman who loves to read so much that she's planning to spend the weekend reading a couple of new books she just bought. I don't get it. I would think that someone supposedly so well read would have come across these terms at least a few times already.

Is it just me? Do I expect too much from people? Or is this more evidence of our education system gone wrong?

BTW, my 69 year old husband, who has a GED knows all those words and I'm sure did when he was 32 based on knowing him back then.

Look at the bright side: this person may have knowledge gaps but at least she IS trying to bridge said gaps via asking you for those definitions- as opposed to someone who revels in using as few non-slang and non-profane terms as possible.

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4 hours ago, Blergh said:

Look at the bright side: this person may have knowledge gaps but at least she IS trying to bridge said gaps via asking you for those definitions- as opposed to someone who revels in using as few non-slang and non-profane terms as possible.

Yeah, I have thought that about her. At least she cares enough to want to learn and will admit not knowing what those words mean. But it makes me wonder how many people I've presumed have a level of knowledge and sophistication that isn't there. My husband used to talk about people he met like that at work. One man dressed and acted like the quintessential college professor but when you scratched the surface he did not live up to the image AT ALL. My husband couldn't get over it! It also works the other way around. I saw someone on a news panel last night that looked like any typical average "guy" but when he opened his mouth he was clearly above average in every way. 

Just more proof that you can't judge a book by its cover!

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6 hours ago, Blergh said:

So far they are "bigamist", "palatial" and "gable".

I had to look up all of those words. I was pretty sure I knew what bigamist and gable were, but I wanted to be sure. I've never heard of the word "palatial" in my life.  

Oh, and I used to read a LOT. There's still a lot of word I don't know.

Edited by Bookworm 1979
Adding more stuff
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Well, this linguist with a PhD had to look up 'gable'. There are thousands if not millions of words and many English variants. Many, you just don't catch for one reason or another.

That doesn't make someone not sophisticated. As long as someone asks or looks things up instead of getting defensive and goes around calling people pretentious/simple because they have a different vocabulary, I think you have a wonderful therapist who has no problem learning things.

And for those who are too embarrassed to ask: 

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gable 

I didn't the words for the card shapes in card games until I watched a CSI episode on poker. I've forgotten all except 'something of spades'.

And I don't think I ever learned the word bigamist in school although it's the same word in German, my first language. So, I wouldn't blame the education system right away if someone doesn't know a word. 

And although I know what palatial means, I also only know that because I know it's derived from palace. If I only heard the word without seeing it spelled, I would probably not know make the connection either.

And then there is the generation difference. Younger generations have a different vocabulary. Words go out of fashion or are replaced by others. I'm fairly certain most people born at the end of the 20th century wouldn't know how to use the word floppy to name the floppy disk.

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57 minutes ago, Bookworm 1979 said:

Oh, and I used to read a LOT. There's still a lot of word I don't know.

What I find is I know the word but am not always right about what it means!  The other night a clue on Jeopardy included the word 'antebellum'.  I knew it was related to the old South in the US but was completely wrong on what it actually meant.  For some reason I connected it with 'palatial' plantation houses after the Civil War.   Looking it up I realized, no, that wasn't what it meant at all. 

Edited by Dimity
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5 minutes ago, supposebly said:

Ah, there is where my Latin education in high school comes into play. 

By the time I hit high school in Canada they had phased out teaching Latin.  Based on all the 'girls soda shop' books I'd read to that point (mostly US based from the 40s-60s) I'd assumed this would be a requirement.  Nope.  I guess Latin at that point is the equivalent of teaching cursive writing now.  Something the powers that be decided was a frill.

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7 minutes ago, Dimity said:

By the time I hit high school in Canada they had phased out teaching Latin.  Based on all the 'girls soda shop' books I'd read to that point (mostly US based from the 40s-60s) I'd assumed this would be a requirement.  Nope.  I guess Latin at that point is the equivalent of teaching cursive writing now.  Something the powers that be decided was a frill.

I guess it depended where in Canada you were. I studied Latin all the way through  to Grade 13 (1980). The focus was mainly on translating Latin to English which like @supposebly I still find useful in figuring out unfamiliar words.

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2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, I have thought that about her. At least she cares enough to want to learn and will admit not knowing what those words mean. But it makes me wonder how many people I've presumed have a level of knowledge and sophistication that isn't there. My husband used to talk about people he met like that at work. One man dressed and acted like the quintessential college professor but when you scratched the surface he did not live up to the image AT ALL. My husband couldn't get over it! It also works the other way around. I saw someone on a news panel last night that looked like any typical average "guy" but when he opened his mouth he was clearly above average in every way. 

Just more proof that you can't judge a book by its cover!

Yeah, alas,  in my experience there are fewer scholars in vagabonds' attire than Hyacinth Bucket appearance makers faking knowledge to impress others.

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4 minutes ago, luv2lurk said:

I studied Latin all the way through  to Grade 13 (1980)

Good point!  I went to high school in Quebec where we graduated in grade 11 - was grade 13 only in Ontario or were there other provinces?  Anyway I guess being in Quebec the language focus was definitely on French (which makes sense) but given I was in a Catholic high school you'd have thought there would have been a nod to Latin but since Vatican II did away with the Latin mass maybe not!

29 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Most Canadian little girls who read would know Gable just from a certain very famous book.

Untitled.jpg

Thanks, I was thinking of that one too. On another chat board years ago a woman's screen name was "MissAnneShirleyofGG" with no spaces. That always gave me a chuckle.

I knew what antebellum meant. I guess I'm just a geek. 🤓 Plus my parents were wordsmiths and my father should have been a history teacher so there is that too.

I never learned Latin but I studied Spanish in school and sang in a choir for years and listened to a lot of liturgical music so I picked up some things.

32 minutes ago, supposebly said:

Funny. I have heard of the book but I didn't connect that to 'gable'. To me, it just was a book title. Green Gables sounded to me like a place name. Maybe a farm that's called Green Gables. Not a part of a roof. 

That just got me wondering about Coral Gables, Florida. It turns out it was named after a famous house there with coral colored gables, LOL. I don't see any other definition of gable other than on a roof so that figures.

18 minutes ago, Blergh said:

Yeah, alas,  in my experience there are fewer scholars in vagabonds' attire than Hyacinth Bucket appearance makers faking knowledge to impress others.

I adore Hyacinth!  But I am certainly glad I don't live next door to her and her white, slim line telephone with last number redial facility.

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35 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I guess Latin at that point is the equivalent of teaching cursive writing now.  Something the powers that be decided was a frill.

A pet peeve of mine: making fun of the younger generations for not knowing how to do certain things because the OLDER generation decided not to teach them (like cursive writing or being able to tell time on analog clock). 

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28 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Good point!  I went to high school in Quebec where we graduated in grade 11 - was grade 13 only in Ontario or were there other provinces?  Anyway I guess being in Quebec the language focus was definitely on French (which makes sense) but given I was in a Catholic high school you'd have thought there would have been a nod to Latin but since Vatican II did away with the Latin mass maybe not!

My mother, who was born in 1924, went to grade school in Montreal. Back then there were only two choices, either go to a Catholic school where you learned in French, or a Protestant school where you learned in English. My great grandmother, who was the matriarch in her Sicilian family didn't like the Roman Catholic church for many reasons and had no problem making the whole family convert to Episcopalian so my mother could go to the protestant school and learn in English. The interesting thing is that the family already spoke French because after they left Sicily they spent several years in Tunisia, which was then a French protectorate. So my mother learned French at home as well as Italian AND the old Sicilian dialect. I grew up hearing all three as well as English growing up.

Edited by Yeah No
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11 minutes ago, Bookworm 1979 said:

A pet peeve of mine: making fun of the younger generations for not knowing how to do certain things because the OLDER generation decided not to teach them (like cursive writing or being able to tell time on analog clock). 

I hear you. My pet peeve is when younger people blame these decisions on Baby Boomers when the truth is that pretty much all the Baby Boomers that I've heard from hate it that those things aren't being taught anymore, including many on this board and everyone in my personal life including retired teachers. I have witnessed and joined in on umpteen very spirited rants from friends and my husband's family about this over the last few years. So I want to know just who is making those decisions these days.

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1 hour ago, supposebly said:

And then there is the generation difference. Younger generations have a different vocabulary. Words go out of fashion or are replaced by others. I'm fairly certain most people born at the end of the 20th century wouldn't know how to use the word floppy to name the floppy disk.

I agree with you about generational differences but the words "palatial" and "gable" are still in common usage and not out of fashion. I can forgive "bigamy" as slightly out of fashion to some degree but considering that she confessed to me that one of the relatives in her family had married a woman while already married to someone else, I would think that maybe she'd have learned the word. That's the only reason I used it. I said, "Oh, so he was a bigamist". What else would anyone call him? If there were another more "current" word for it maybe I could see it.

I also have a pet peeve about excusing words going out of fashion especially when there is a need for the word and there isn't any other to take its place. I hate to say that in many cases I think it's just an excuse to normalize poor language skills. A lot of the words that are supposedly taking their place are fads and "flashes in the pan", not something necessary or on an equal level with what is being lost. I think more is being lost as people spend worthless time with their noses in Social Media looking at dumb abbreviations instead of real words and learning absolutely nothing, or nothing of any lasting value to them as educated human beings. As always, just my opinion.

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I guess I'm full of pet peeves lately. First, I am not a sports person and neither is my husband. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against sports, in fact I am always interested in the end of baseball season if the Yankees and/or Red Sox are playing. My pet peeve is how sports seasons just never seem to end now. I am still seeing shows about "March Madness". Ummmm, newsflash, it's already APRIL, can we end basketball season already? And even though I have a soft spot in my heart for baseball, that season seems to go on and on now and doesn't even end until November if that. Back in the day it ended in September. I get it that they want to make more money but come on, the average person can't even afford to attend a game in person anymore. Ticket prices are INSANE. It's just unfettered greed anymore.

Also it seems like more and more network TV stations are airing more sports and sports-related shows lately, pre-empting and delaying some of my favorite entertainment shows and news programs. Forget it that there are dozens of sports channels out there on cable and streaming just for that purpose, now it's encroaching on more and more network channels all the time. I also get it that network TV is looking for ways to make more money thanks to declining viewership but come on, be more creative, don't just give into the easy buck. I am so tired of companies just doing as little as possible as long as they make a profit from it. Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. 😉

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3 hours ago, Dimity said:

By the time I hit high school in Canada they had phased out teaching Latin.  Based on all the 'girls soda shop' books I'd read to that point (mostly US based from the 40s-60s) I'd assumed this would be a requirement.  Nope.  I guess Latin at that point is the equivalent of teaching cursive writing now.  Something the powers that be decided was a frill.

Latin was taught in Grade 8 at my school until the 1990-1991 (or 1991-1992) school year.  In other words, I was either the first or second class NOT to have to take it (and was offered computer studies instead).  It was available as an elective until some time this century.  So was German.  Now they offer only Spanish and Mandarin (in addition to French, of course).  I guess it's just how things are...the "important" and "useful" languages.  Other classes NOT offered when I was there but are now include dance, technological design, vocal music (for credit) and psychology.

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12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

 

Is it just me? Do I expect too much from people? Or is this more evidence of our education system gone wrong?

I think you just answered your own question with the last bit there...as the generations go by, from what I have observed, the public education system has gone more and more "dumbed down" with lower and lower expectations of what standards of reading comprehension and vocabulary are required. Oh wells...

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38 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

I took 3 years of Latin (well, the 3rd year was so I could have a "conflict" to avoid having to take chemistry 😎).

I like your style.  I've always thought that one of the most important things we learn in high school is how to work the system.

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5 hours ago, Dimity said:

By the time I hit high school in Canada they had phased out teaching Latin.  Based on all the 'girls soda shop' books I'd read to that point (mostly US based from the 40s-60s)

Considering I chose to make my home in Canada, French would have been more useful to me. But that had been phased out when it was time for me to have a second foreign language at my Catholic school in Germany.

Edited by supposebly
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21 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

I took 3 years of Latin (well, the 3rd year was so I could have a "conflict" to avoid having to take chemistry 😎). Latin is a great vocabulary builder.  It also made Spanish easy to learn. Heh...I've always said if I had to take chemistry I'd *still* be in high school!

LOL, having gone to a HS with the word "Science" in the title, I couldn't get away with avoiding Chemistry, but believe me I would have if I could! To this day I believe that the only reason I passed it is because the teacher was a subordinate of my father's in the army and was still afraid of him, LOL, which always makes me laugh because my father was THE nicest person, not someone to fear AT ALL. But anyway, let's just say that this teacher was fixated on the fact that I was his daughter and always brought it up in class like it was still working on him 25 years later, LOL. He would say glowing things about my Dad which sounded like brown nose bullshit, because my father told me he was a real "slacker", LOL.

I even flunked the NYS Regents exam with a 64 (passing was 65) and he STILL passed me with a 70 (out of 100) in the class, even though my test grades weren't much better. Flunking the Regents was usually seen as reason to fail the course. Seeing as how I was very motivated to do well in school and for the most part had decent grades in everything else, and even passed Physics for some reason, I took it and ran. If not for that I probably would have had to go to Summer school and retake the Regents, which would have REALLY sucked at the age of 16, especially because I didn't think I would pass it the next time either.

ETA: I remember my father telling me the REAL story many years later. It seems that my father saved my teacher's ass from being kicked out of the army altogether and we think he was in his weird way thanking him for that by passing me. My father never told me what he did and I never asked. But it does explain why he acted so sheepishly around me. Maybe he was afraid my father would tell me, LOL.

Edited by Yeah No
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4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

LOL, having gone to a HS with the word "Science" in the title, I couldn't get away with avoiding Chemistry, but believe me I would have if I could! To this day I believe that the only reason I passed it is because the teacher was a subordinate of my father's in the army and was still afraid of him, LOL, which always makes me laugh because my father was THE nicest person, not someone to fear AT ALL. But anyway, let's just say that this teacher was fixated on the fact that I was his daughter and always brought it up in class like it was still working on him 25 years later, LOL. He would say glowing things about my Dad which sounded like brown nose bullshit, because my father told me he was a real "slacker", LOL.

I even flunked the NYS Regents exam with a 64 (passing was 65) and he STILL passed me with a 70 (out of 100) in the class, even though my test grades weren't much better. Flunking the Regents was usually seen as reason to fail the course. Seeing as how I was very motivated to do well in school and for the most part had decent grades in everything else, and even passed Physics for some reason, I took it and ran. If not for that I probably would have had to go to Summer school and retake the Regents, which would have REALLY sucked at the age of 16, especially because I didn't think I would pass it the next time either.

Gee...and you went to Bronx Science. Now I *really* am thanking my stars (& intuition!!) that I avoided chemistry 😳

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5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

LOL, having gone to a HS with the word "Science" in the title, I couldn't get away with avoiding Chemistry, but believe me I would have if I could! To this day I believe that the only reason I passed it is because the teacher was a subordinate of my father's in the army and was still afraid of him, LOL, which always makes me laugh because my father was THE nicest person, not someone to fear AT ALL. But anyway, let's just say that this teacher was fixated on the fact that I was his daughter and always brought it up in class like it was still working on him 25 years later, LOL. He would say glowing things about my Dad which sounded like brown nose bullshit, because my father told me he was a real "slacker", LOL.

LOL -- The only reason I passed Chemistry in high school is because I was one of the few well-behaved students (and I guess I was also a A/B student in every other subject); and the teacher mercy on me.

---

But a pet peeve:

Drivers who don't know/care about the etiquette at a 4-way stop intersection. I know we live in the middle of nowhere, but come on!

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2 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Gee...and you went to Bronx Science. Now I *really* am thanking my stars (& intuition!!) that I avoided chemistry 😳

I wasn't a science person but I lived near the school and back then if you got in and didn't go people would have told you to go get your head examined, lol. I don't regret going, though. The people were AWESOME and it was just what I needed at that time in my life.

1 hour ago, Trini said:

But a pet peeve:

Drivers who don't know/care about the etiquette at a 4-way stop intersection. I know we live in the middle of nowhere, but come on!

Oh, this is a BIG pet peeve of mine and I don't live in the middle of nowhere. I hate it when people "ride the coattails" of the car in front of them so they can sneak through without stopping. But I think a lot of them don't even know that's not acceptable. I don't remember this even being a thing before about 3 years ago or so around here. People were pretty polite around here until we started getting transplants from other areas over the pandemic. I suppose if we complain they'll just tell us that road etiquette gets redefined as older "rules" go out of fashion. Yeah, right. Sarcasm intended. 😏

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41 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Heck...I can't believe Driver's Ed still exists in high schools, based on the horrible drivers I've been seeing on local highways and interstates for the past 20+ years.

It doesn't at least not where I live.  All that's required is six hours with a licensed paid instructor and the rest with a licensed driver over I think age 21.  The time with the instructor doesn't even have to all be driving.  Part of it can be "observing" from the back seat.  Oh and even better that's only to get a license before 18.  If you wait until your 18th birthday no formal driving training is required.

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My 15 year old just got his permit after failing his first attempt. Which meant for me spending 16 hours at the DMV waiting in the car while he waited inside with my license. The DMV is so screwed up. He took the class online which was about 4 weeks long maybe 6? Then he waited almost 6 months before he was was able to drive with an instructor due to long waitlists. He had to drive 6 hours with the instructor and then he was eligible to go get his permit. He failed the “written” test by missing five questions out of 25 the first time. The second time he only missed one question. Now he has to have 60 hours of drive time which I record on an official DMV app before he is eligible for his level 2 permit which will allow him to drive at night. Right now he can only drive from 6-9. Then he has to log another specific amount of hours before he is eligible for his license. 

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I ordered Chinese food. chicken/shrimp with broccoli with pork fried rice. 20% was the non rice. 3 shrimp, 5 small pieces of chicken and a bit of broccoli. what a disappointment. at least the large chicken noodle soup was actually full container. but not 1 vegetable in the soup. no onions no carrots no nothing. 

I'm never ordering from them again.

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(edited)

That reminds me of a peeve from this week-end.  I've seen shrinkflation in the grocery store of course - the remodeled  300 ml bottle that now contains 280 ml at the same price - or usually higher.  But yesterday I saw it in the pre-packaged graham cracker pie crust I've been buying for years.  The layer of crust was spread so thin  you could see the foil behind it in some places.  Which I wish I'd noticed  before I bought it!  Anyway went ahead and  used it and ended up with a mess.  I'll call it deconstructed lemon pie.  It tasted alright but I certainly wouldn't want to serve it to company!

What I don't get is - why?  They made a sale to me.  Once.  Never again.  And I can't be the only consumer who will feel that way.

Edited by Dimity
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39 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I ordered Chinese food. chicken/shrimp with broccoli with pork fried rice. 20% was the non rice. 3 shrimp, 5 small pieces of chicken and a bit of broccoli. what a disappointment. at least the large chicken noodle soup was actually full container. but not 1 vegetable in the soup. no onions no carrots no nothing. 

I'm never ordering from them again.

Sounds like a latte I had many years ago.  It was 80% foam and next to no coffee/milk.  

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1 hour ago, Dimity said:

But yesterday I saw it in the pre-packaged graham cracker pie crust I've been buying for years. 

I don't cook, but I do make my own graham cracker pie crust the couple of times a year I make the cherry creme pie Mr. Outlier loves.  It's really easy if I use the chopper attachment on my 40-year-old blender to grind the graham crackers and mix in the butter.

My eternal pet peeve is ignorance, and graham cracker crusts fall under that category.  When I was looking for how to make one, I ran across all these people saying how the make-your-own is so much healthier than store bought because it's only like three ingredients.  But one of those ingredients is store-bought graham crackers, which is made up of many ingredients.  Sigh.

 

 

59 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

all the price hikes helped me quit buying that much diet coke.

One thing I'm eternally grateful to Mr. Outlier for is real Coke.  I drank Diet Coke for decades, and started drinking regular because he did, and I've realized just how terrible diet drinks taste.  I just shake my head that I drank that swill for so many years.

We drink a lot of Coke, and he drinks way too much Mountain Dew, and my maximum used to be $1.35 for a 2-liter bottle, and for many years I'd usually get it for more like $1.25 or even $1.00 if I watched for sales.  Starting with Covid, I gradually raised my maximum to $1.35, and then grudgingly to $1.50.  I figure this stuff is killing us, so I resent over-paying for the privilege. 

But then about a year ago I had to suddenly push my my maximum from $1.50 to $2.00 with no intermediate step, and I have to find it on pretty significant sale to keep it at that. 

At least they haven't shrinkflated those, but probably only because it's going to be tricky because "2-liter" is right there in the name.

About a year ago I got a large drink at Popeye's and the cup looked the same but felt different in my hand.  I had an old cup around and compared, and the new one is something like four ounces less.  You would never be able to tell just by looking.  Oh, plus the redesign has a slightly fatter bottom, so it doesn't fit in my dang cup holder, and 30 ounces of sweet tea spilling in the car would be a disaster.

 

Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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