Teen Mom 2: Small Talk

[teapot]

5 minutes ago, Tatum said:

Congrats @Lm2162

My son just turned 2 over the weekend! Here we are at Texas Roadhouse

 

And here they are at a local county fair:

omg adorable little blondies!  thanks for sharing!!

[Tatum]

Thanks! That's all their dad. I look like Hermione Granger before Emma Watson got hot. My daughter owes me so big for getting knocked up by a tall blond man who naturally tans easily.

[mamadrama]

While we're sharing...I need some neutral opinions. Two months ago, our next door neighbor came over and asked me if I would paint an American flag for his barn. He bought the plywood, I bought the paints. It took my 10-year-old son and I 2 weeks to paint it. We hand drew all the stars and it was a real pain in the ass. I work from home but I work a LOT, like, 60 hours a week. This project took a considerable amount of time away from my job. Anyhoo, we had fun and we were both proud of our flag. We gave it to him and he liked it. Posted a picture on FB and got around 150 "likes" and more than 50 comments from people who seemed to like it. He hung it on his barn. A couple of days ago we went over to visit and he told us he had painted over it with a new flag because the stars "weren't straight." I was kind of shocked. It hurt my son's feelings. My husband later told our neighbor that our feelings were hurt so now our neighbor wants to take the flag down and give it back to us. He's offered to help us hang it at our house. 

I mean, isn't this kind of weird? If someone makes something for me, I am generally pretty pleased to have it. 

The flag looked nice. Here is a picture of the flag in process. 

[mamadrama]

And while we're posting pictures of kids... :-) My youngest son passed away 7 years ago yesterday. Bad anniversary. I have posted pictures of him elsewhere but here are some of my daughter and son. Ages 10 and 6. This is my daughter at her brother's grave. 

[BitterApple]

mamadrama, you have beautiful children. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers to you and your family. 

[MissMel]

@mamadrama, I think a grown man displaying a handmade project by a 10 year old and then deciding it wasn't "good enough" is disgraceful.  I saw the pictures you posted.  I had to take a second look after you said the stars weren't perfect.  I highly doubt hanging high over a barn door would make it any more noticeable.  Even if it did, he still could have taken pride in his gift from his neighbors.  That's my 2 cents.  

And hugs to you and your family.

[Maharincess]

@Tatum, Blake can not be 2 already!!!  It seems like it was just last week that we were congratulating you for having him!  Your kids are both adorable. I had blondies too, their hair was so blonde that people accused me of bleaching it when they were young.  Their hair darkened as they got older but when they were young they glowed in the dark.  I have pictures of them with Jose Canseco holding them and their hair looks white. I need to find those pictures and try to post one of them here. 

[mamadrama]

24 minutes ago, MissMel said:

@mamadrama, I think a grown man displaying a handmade project by a 10 year old and then deciding it wasn't "good enough" is disgraceful.  I saw the pictures you posted.  I had to take a second look after you said the stars weren't perfect.  I highly doubt hanging high over a barn door would make it any more noticeable.  Even if it did, he still could have taken pride in his gift from his neighbors.  That's my 2 cents.  

And hugs to you and your family.

I sometimes forget that you and I are FB buddies. :-) So you probably remember when he and I were painting the flag to begin with. And yes, the barn sets back on his property, about 100 yards from the road. From the road, the stars all kind of blend in together anyway. I am still kind of shocked. I mean, the FB feedback was positive-on my end and on his after he posted a picture of it. Neither of my kids' grandfathers are in their lives and they've really taken to this neighbor over the years as their surrogate grandpa. So, to them, it feels like they just made him a birthday card or something and he threw it away. 

 

@BitterApple Thank you. With the eclipse yesterday, the annivesary was actually kind of special. We liked to think it was some kind of celestial sign. 

[GreatKazu]

@mamadrama How beautiful! Your daughter and the photos. Love her hair! I love the look she is giving in the second photo.

@Tatum I just posted on the other thread how it seems like you just had your baby! Two years old already. Happy Birthday to him. :-) Your kids are so beautiful. Your son's cheeks are a blushing red! How adorable. 

I love that painting of the American flag. I can't imagine what your neighbor was thinking to ask you to take on such a task, which no doubt was a lot of hard work and so time-consuming, only to change his mind which in turns hurts your son's feelings which obviously hurts your feelings. Not cool at all. You tell your son I he did a magnificent job (you did too).

[LunaMia]

3 hours ago, mamadrama said:

While we're sharing...I need some neutral opinions. Two months ago, our next door neighbor came over and asked me if I would paint an American flag for his barn. He bought the plywood, I bought the paints. It took my 10-year-old son and I 2 weeks to paint it. We hand drew all the stars and it was a real pain in the ass. I work from home but I work a LOT, like, 60 hours a week. This project took a considerable amount of time away from my job. Anyhoo, we had fun and we were both proud of our flag. We gave it to him and he liked it. Posted a picture on FB and got around 150 "likes" and more than 50 comments from people who seemed to like it. He hung it on his barn. A couple of days ago we went over to visit and he told us he had painted over it with a new flag because the stars "weren't straight." I was kind of shocked. It hurt my son's feelings. My husband later told our neighbor that our feelings were hurt so now our neighbor wants to take the flag down and give it back to us. He's offered to help us hang it at our house. 

I mean, isn't this kind of weird? If someone makes something for me, I am generally pretty pleased to have it. 

The flag looked nice. Here is a picture of the flag in process. 

That's a pretty asshole thing to do! That he not only asked you to paint it, but you actually bought the paint yourself! Even if it didn't come out how he wanted, it wouldn't hurt him to hang it elsewhere and paint a new one himself! But then again, I'm a petty ass bitch. Lol.

Can you post a picture of the finished product? It looks like it was coming along nicely from the picture you posted.! 

Beautiful kids everyone.  My 5 year old just started Kindergarden on Monday and I was a mess. Cried all the way home, not in front of her of course. Lol. 

[GreatKazu]

@LunaMia the tears on the first day of school! I remember crying when my oldest went to school. I didn't have those tears with the rest of my brood. lol  I know that feeling. So many emotions.  How was her first day of school? Was she excited? 

[Mkay]

10 minutes ago, LunaMia said:

That's a pretty asshole thing to do! That he not only asked you to paint it, but you actually bought the paint yourself! Even if it didn't come out how he wanted, it wouldn't hurt him to hang it elsewhere and paint a new one himself! But then again, I'm a petty ass bitch. Lol.

Can you post a picture of the finished product? It looks like it was coming along nicely from the picture you posted.! 

Beautiful kids everyone.  My 5 year old just started Kindergarden on Monday and I was a mess. Cried all the way home, not in front of her of course. Lol. 

School! Ugh. I have one child. She is 11. She started 6th grade, Jr High this yr. I didn't cry at Kindergarten because she made it so easy.  She sat down, waved bye, and started coloring. But watching her get out of my car (last Thursday) with her notebook and binder knowing she was changing classes and having a locker..... I cried when she got out of my car. ???

Edited August 23, 2017 by Mkay

[LunaMia]

Just now, GreatKazu said:

@LunaMia the tears on the first day of school! I remember crying when my oldest went to school. I didn't have those tears with the rest of my brood. lol  I know that feeling. So many emotions.  How was her first day of school? Was she excited? 

Hopefully I'll be the same and be fine when my 18 month old starts school in a few years! 

She did really well. She was excited and nervous. She came home and said she liked it and wanted to go back! Then today she made her first friend and they played together. Warmed my heart because she can be shy. 

They grow so fast. ?

3 minutes ago, Mkay said:

School! Ugh. I have one child. She is 11. She started 6th grade, Jr High this yr. I didn't cry at Kindergarten because she made it so easy.  She sat down, waved bye, and started coloring. But watching her get out of my car (last Thursday) with her notebook and binder knowing she was changing classes and having a locker..... I cried when she got out of my car. ???

Aww, it's those damn milestones that they reach that can get you sometimes. I bet you still remember her going to Kindergarden, now your baby is putting in locker codes and becoming more independent. ?

[GreatKazu]

3 minutes ago, LunaMia said:

Hopefully I'll be the same and be fine when my 18 month old starts school in a few years! 

She did really well. She was excited and nervous. She came home and said she liked it and wanted to go back! Then today she made her first friend and they played together. Warmed my heart because she can be shy. 

They grow so fast. ?

Yes, the time goes by so fast. How sweet! Happy to read she made her first school friend. Sounds like she broke the ice and is doing well. Good for her! I wish her a great school year. 

@Mkay Is your daughter considered a junior high student? Just recently in our area, the district moved up the sixth grade classes to junior high. Now, elementary is K through 5th grade. How was her first day of school? 

[heatherchandler]

37 minutes ago, LunaMia said:

Hopefully I'll be the same and be fine when my 18 month old starts school in a few years! 

She did really well. She was excited and nervous. She came home and said she liked it and wanted to go back! Then today she made her first friend and they played together. Warmed my heart because she can be shy. 

They grow so fast. ?

Heart warming!  There is nothing better in this world than hearing from your child that they made a friend.  It makes me feel so happy.  I assume it is something instinctual or hard-wired into us as humans, wanting our kids to "belong."  Is it not the best feeling?

[LunaMia]

1 hour ago, heatherchandler said:

Heart warming!  There is nothing better in this world than hearing from your child that they made a friend.  It makes me feel so happy.  I assume it is something instinctual or hard-wired into us as humans, wanting our kids to "belong."  Is it not the best feeling?

Most definitely! Knowing that she can connect with friends her age and just gain a little independence is amazing. Even though it makes me sad seeing my baby's grow up, I love sharing the milestones with them.

@GreatKazu Thank you so much for the kind words. 

[Mkay]

2 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Yes, the time goes by so fast. How sweet! Happy to read she made her first school friend. Sounds like she broke the ice and is doing well. Good for her! I wish her a great school year. 

@Mkay Is your daughter considered a junior high student? Just recently in our area, the district moved up the sixth grade classes to junior high. Now, elementary is K through 5th grade. How was her first day of school? 

Yes. When her school is the only one in the county the starts Jr high at 6th grade.  Primary was K-2 Elemetary was 3-5 and Jr High is 6-8.  They just HAD to be different from everyone else. Lol they also HAD to start early than everyone else. (So eager aren't they?) Her school started on the 17th. Everyone else in our county started the 21st.  

2 hours ago, LunaMia said:

Hopefully I'll be the same and be fine when my 18 month old starts school in a few years! 

She did really well. She was excited and nervous. She came home and said she liked it and wanted to go back! Then today she made her first friend and they played together. Warmed my heart because she can be shy. 

They grow so fast. ?

Aww, it's those damn milestones that they reach that can get you sometimes. I bet you still remember her going to Kindergarden, now your baby is putting in locker codes and becoming more independent. ?

I'm going to be a mess when she starts high school. Ugh I picked on her on the first day this yr and told her I was walking to her first class like all the other yrs. That got a pick fat NO reply. Hahaha

[Tatum]

15 hours ago, Maharincess said:

  I have pictures of them with Jose Canseco holding them and their hair looks white. I need to find those pictures and try to post one of them here. 

Do it! So interesting to see real life pictures of people you hear about or talk about but have never seen.

[NannyBails]

MamaDrama, you and your kids can paint an American flag for me anytime!  :-)

[Maharincess]

15 hours ago, Mkay said:

Yes. When her school is the only one in the county the starts Jr high at 6th grade.  Primary was K-2 Elemetary was 3-5 and Jr High is 6-8.  They just HAD to be different from everyone else. Lol they also HAD to start early than everyone else. (So eager aren't they?) Her school started on the 17th. Everyone else in our county started the 21st.  

I'm going to be a mess when she starts high school. Ugh I picked on her on the first day this yr and told her I was walking to her first class like all the other yrs. That got a pick fat NO reply. Hahaha

My daughter was so nervous on her first day of high school that she dry heaved all the way there.  Poor kid has a nervous stomach like her mama.  

My poor grandkids. My granddaughter is in fourth grade this year and she's been going to the same school since kindergarten.  They live one town over from me but they went to school in my city. They got a special transfer that allows them to go to school in my city because my daughter and son in law both work in my city and I watch them after school.  They went to get class assignments last week and my daughter was told that the school is full this year and since local residents have priority my grandkids can't go there anymore. My granddaughter was devastated.  She's very sensitive and cried all day about her school and not being able to be with her friends.

They started at the new school yesterday and my daughter and I texted each other all day, we were both so upset and nervous about my granddaughter being at a brand new school and not knowing even one person.  We're both such wimps that we both cried over it.  We counted the seconds until she could be picked up.  

All of that worrying for nothing. She did great and already made a new group of friends. 

I feel so old here. I'm only 52  but when you all talk about your babies and my babies are my grandkids, I feel ancient. 

[GreatKazu]

15 hours ago, Mkay said:

Yes. When her school is the only one in the county the starts Jr high at 6th grade.  Primary was K-2 Elemetary was 3-5 and Jr High is 6-8.  They just HAD to be different from everyone else. Lol they also HAD to start early than everyone else. (So eager aren't they?) Her school started on the 17th. Everyone else in our county started the 21st.  

I'm going to be a mess when she starts high school. Ugh I picked on her on the first day this yr and told her I was walking to her first class like all the other yrs. That got a pick fat NO reply. Hahaha

I attended Catholic school from first through 8th grade. Public high school was such a culture shock to me. One thing I remember is how school started the day after Labor Day. Summer time meant the first week of June all the way through Labor Day. Not anymore. Nowadays, schools start in mid-August or the last week of August. Crazy. 

Quote

I just don't see why they lower themselves to the level of squabbling with casual viewers who, as everyone likes to point out, see 10 minutes of edited footage of their life. That would be beneath my dignity, personally. Stars in the old days didn't spent their time squabbling with fans! Just imagine Marilyn Monroe's twitter when people first suspected she was fooling around with the President. Also back then, if celebrities wanted to make a statement, they made ONE statement and that was it. Period. No back and forth. 

@Christina87 (taken from the episode thread MotherDucker): Back then, it was a different time. The celebrities had no control over how they were portrayed. The movie studios dictated how a star would be shown to the public. They had the money and the resources to either make you a star or black-list you. Even the poor male celebrities who were homosexuals had to be shown with a female starlet in order to make them appear as straight males. No way were the studios going to have their top star come out as gay when his draw was a female audience who paid to see their star in romantic leads with vivacious starlets. Even fan mail was handled by their management or the studios. The studios would read them to find out what people were really thinking and feeling about their contract players. They sometimes threw out the negative mail and only gave the positive letters to their star employees. So much control over the lives of the celebrities all in order to paint a picture that wasn't true. It was the norm to hide addictions, alcoholism, mental issues, it was all controlled by the head honchos. That is why celebrities had their names changed. Their true names were not fabulous enough. It was also done to hide someone's ethnicity or to hide the fact if they were Jewish. 

As for statements, even those were not their words. Usually those were written up by the studio heads. Just like today, a lot of well-known people or celebrities have an agent/manager who speak on their behalf when issuing statements or they have a spokesperson. They also have assistants who post on social media for them. Unless it is a Kardashian. lol. 

 

 

6 minutes ago, Maharincess said:

My daughter was so nervous on her first day of high school that she dry heaved all the way there.  Poor kid has a nervous stomach like her mama.  

My poor grandkids. My granddaughter is in fourth grade this year and she's been going to the same school since kindergarten.  They live one town over from me but they went to school in my city. They got a special transfer that allows them to go to school in my city because my daughter and son in law both work in my city and I watch them after school.  They went to get class assignments last week and my daughter was told that the school is full this year and since local residents have priority my grandkids can't go there anymore. My granddaughter was devastated.  She's very sensitive and cried all day about her school and not being able to be with her friends.

They started at the new school yesterday and my daughter and I texted each other all day, we were both so upset and nervous about my granddaughter being at a brand new school and not knowing even one person.  We're both such wimps that we both cried over it.  We counted the seconds until she could be picked up.  

All of that worrying for nothing. She did great and already made a new group of friends. 

I feel so old here. I'm only 52  but when you all talk about your babies and my babies are my grandkids, I feel ancient. 

I am happy to read your granddaughter had a wonderful time at school. We can sometimes worry so much over things that we make ourselves sick.

I know the feeling of being older and reading these stories of the younger moms and their kids. Brings back so many memories.

Edited August 23, 2017 by GreatKazu

[mamadrama]

19 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

@mamadrama How beautiful! Your daughter and the photos. Love her hair! I love the look she is giving in the second photo.

@Tatum I just posted on the other thread how it seems like you just had your baby! Two years old already. Happy Birthday to him. :-) Your kids are so beautiful. Your son's cheeks are a blushing red! How adorable. 

I love that painting of the American flag. I can't imagine what your neighbor was thinking to ask you to take on such a task, which no doubt was a lot of hard work and so time-consuming, only to change his mind which in turns hurts your son's feelings which obviously hurts your feelings. Not cool at all. You tell your son I he did a magnificent job (you did too).

Thank you. I will pass that on to him! By the way, that is my son in the 2nd picture. Everyone mistakes him for a girl. We cut all his hair off once and people still mistook him for a girl so now he just lets it grow. It kind of evens out because they mistake our girl for a boy.

[mamadrama]

19 hours ago, LunaMia said:

That's a pretty asshole thing to do! That he not only asked you to paint it, but you actually bought the paint yourself! Even if it didn't come out how he wanted, it wouldn't hurt him to hang it elsewhere and paint a new one himself! But then again, I'm a petty ass bitch. Lol.

Can you post a picture of the finished product? It looks like it was coming along nicely from the picture you posted.! 

Beautiful kids everyone.  My 5 year old just started Kindergarden on Monday and I was a mess. Cried all the way home, not in front of her of course. Lol. 

That's a really good point-he could have hung it on one of his other outbuildings and painted a new one. The plot thickens...his girlfriend wrote to me yesterday and said he'd be happy to return it to us and help us hang it somewhere on our property. That made my husband feel worse. The contrary side of me thinks I should just take it and give it to someone who appreciates it. Here is the final product, hanging on his barn. (Yes, he hung it. Then he apparently dismounted it and painted over it. But for a few weeks it actually hung on his barn.)

Not at any point did he indicate that he didn't like it. Here's the msg he sent when he hung it. (Yeah, we're country people. We leave our houses unlocked and go in and out at will.)

My youngest started kindergarten on August 6th. (They start way early here.) I am still a mess. 

 

 

 

Edited August 23, 2017 by mamadrama

[Tatum]

@ Mamadrama, it looks like a great sign to me. I don't know, I just can't imagine asking someone to do something artistic for me, deciding it was subpar, doing it myself, and then "offering" to let the person have their project back since I felt mine was so much better.  And then telling them so! Sounds like a very emotionally tone deaf person.

[mamadrama]

9 minutes ago, Tatum said:

@ Mamadrama, it looks like a great sign to me. I don't know, I just can't imagine asking someone to do something artistic for me, deciding it was subpar, doing it myself, and then "offering" to let the person have their project back since I felt mine was so much better.  And then telling them so! Sounds like a very emotionally tone deaf person.

My mother is calling conspiracy. She is certain he was "influenced" by someone. But then again, that's my mother. She lives in a paranoid world. Mom has trouble believing that people are perfectly capable of being craptastic all on their own. 

But this isn't the "Hoarders" board. I've bitched enough about HER over on that one. ;-) 

Eh, what can you do? People can be crazy. Little man is still upset but he understands now that he didn't do anything wrong. I just hate someone hurting my kids. 

[Tatum]

1 minute ago, mamadrama said:

Eh, what can you do? People can be crazy. Little man is still upset but he understands now that he didn't do anything wrong. I just hate someone hurting my kids. 

No doubt. My kids are still pretty young so I haven't had to deal with that much yet, but I am sure I will have to witness hurt feelings and heartache at some point. I'm so dreading it.

 

The day some little punk breaks my daughter's heart? I don't know what I will do, as you can't like, hurt minors for hurting your kids' feelings, but I know I'll want to. Tough days ahead.

[mamadrama]

3 minutes ago, Tatum said:

No doubt. My kids are still pretty young so I haven't had to deal with that much yet, but I am sure I will have to witness hurt feelings and heartache at some point. I'm so dreading it.

 

The day some little punk breaks my daughter's heart? I don't know what I will do, as you can't like, hurt minors for hurting your kids' feelings, but I know I'll want to. Tough days ahead.

Have you seen the movie THIS IS 40? Where the bully is bothering their kid and the parents, who have been fighting between themselves up to that point, band together and verbally rip him a new asshole? That is a perfect scene. On the one hand, you're cringing because it's so harsh but, as parents, you're kind of cheering them on. 

[Tatum]

No, I haven't seen This is 40. I'll have to check it out.

 

Does anyone remember the show My Two Dads? When Nicole gets stood up on her first date (by a pre-pubescent Giovanni Ribisi), one of her dads (Greg Evigan) swears revenge. Paul Reiser asks him what he's going to do, and GE responds, I'm going to go to his house, tell him that I can't hurt him because he's underage, but the minute he turns 21 I'm going to be waiting for him. And he actually DOES. As it turns out, Nicole's date is really into her and was just so nervous about the date he made himself sick.

[GreatKazu]

I remember that show and that episode. Memories!

Being a parent, you will find that you may reach a level where you want to just really let people have it.  I have even had an encounter where I ripped into a so-called cousin of mine because of the actions of her smart-ass and foul-mouthed  teen daughter who thinks she is the shit. I imagine she was getting taunted and teased and thought she could do that to my kid. Mess with my kids, you mess with me. This was many years ago. I was proud of my kid for not going down to her level. She just happened to mention it to me and I lost it. It didn't help that I had just had surgery that week and I wasn't feeling good. Oh man, mess with a kid whose parent is already feeling crappy can bring out the monster in you. lol  

 

59 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

That's a really good point-he could have hung it on one of his other outbuildings and painted a new one. The plot thickens...his girlfriend wrote to me yesterday and said he'd be happy to return it to us and help us hang it somewhere on our property. That made my husband feel worse. The contrary side of me thinks I should just take it and give it to someone who appreciates it. Here is the final product, hanging on his barn. (Yes, he hung it. Then he apparently dismounted it and painted over it. But for a few weeks it actually hung on his barn.)

Not at any point did he indicate that he didn't like it. Here's the msg he sent when he hung it. (Yeah, we're country people. We leave our houses unlocked and go in and out at will.)

My youngest started kindergarten on August 6th. (They start way early here.) I am still a mess. 

 

 

 

That wooden flag just adds so much beauty to that barn. It is like a crown. It is so beautiful! Be proud of the job you and your son did. 

Edited August 23, 2017 by GreatKazu

[Mkay]

58 minutes ago, Tatum said:

@ Mamadrama, it looks like a great sign to me. I don't know, I just can't imagine asking someone to do something artistic for me, deciding it was subpar, doing it myself, and then "offering" to let the person have their project back since I felt mine was so much better.  And then telling them so! Sounds like a very emotionally tone deaf person.

Right? I think it looks great!

[Mkay]

44 minutes ago, Tatum said:

No doubt. My kids are still pretty young so I haven't had to deal with that much yet, but I am sure I will have to witness hurt feelings and heartache at some point. I'm so dreading it.

 

The day some little punk breaks my daughter's heart? I don't know what I will do, as you can't like, hurt minors for hurting your kids' feelings, but I know I'll want to. Tough days ahead.

Lots of tongue biting. Trust me. I went and ate lunch with mine one day and she was in tears because some girls that were her "friends" were being mean to her.  They had assigned lunch seats (4th grade) and the girls were sitting directly across the table. They began to whisper in each other's ear. There were a lot of things I wanted to say. I bit my tongue for too long and finally asked them that if they were talking about Kynli then say it out loud. That we were right there and it's rude. Say it out loud where she can defend herself. They shut up after that. I told Kynli no more tears for those two. They are just the mean girls of the class.  It's so hard though.  I had to say all of that in a nice voice. You know how bad I wanted to go across the table and use my mean voice? Lol 

[LunaMia]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

That's a really good point-he could have hung it on one of his other outbuildings and painted a new one. The plot thickens...his girlfriend wrote to me yesterday and said he'd be happy to return it to us and help us hang it somewhere on our property. That made my husband feel worse. The contrary side of me thinks I should just take it and give it to someone who appreciates it. Here is the final product, hanging on his barn. (Yes, he hung it. Then he apparently dismounted it and painted over it. But for a few weeks it actually hung on his barn.)

Not at any point did he indicate that he didn't like it. Here's the msg he sent when he hung it. (Yeah, we're country people. We leave our houses unlocked and go in and out at will.)

My youngest started kindergarten on August 6th. (They start way early here.) I am still a mess. 

 

 

 

Wow! That looks very cool. Tell your little one he is an amazing artist and should be proud! Your neighbor should have thought of giving it back before he painted over it!!! Ugh, sorry but people suck lol. 

Yes, the little ones going to school is so joyous and sad. 

[LBS]

Aww - all these fierce, loving parents stories are making me tear up!  I remember one summer between 8th grade and high school my grade school had a social on a Friday.  I spent that day at the mall at Contempo Casual (the precursor to Forever 21 I imagine now) and got what I thought was the coolest outfit to prove to everyone who was mean to me that high school was going to be different for me. I was going to be cool and not an outcast.  I was a bit of a chunky child still but I was so proud of what I bought with my own babysitting money.  I wore cut off jean shorts and a flannel sleeveless shirt that tied at the top of my non-existent waist.   I walked into the gym with my best friend and immediately all the 'cool' kids started making fun of me.  It was awful.  I somehow made it through for an hour or so and then walked home early.  My curfew that night was 9 but my dad found me in the basement at 7:30 doing laundry (aka trying to ruin my new outfit) and shaking in shame.  He just held me tight and told me that HS would be different and that I was beautiful inside and out and that nobody has the right to tell me otherwise.  Years later my mom told me he wanted to walk over to the gym and yell at everyone.  She had to talk him down.  I just knew I was loved. 

 TL:DR your kids remember every time you stick up for them.

[Mkay]

1 hour ago, LBS said:

Aww - all these fierce, loving parents stories are making me tear up!  I remember one summer between 8th grade and high school my grade school had a social on a Friday.  I spent that day at the mall at Contempo Casual (the precursor to Forever 21 I imagine now) and got what I thought was the coolest outfit to prove to everyone who was mean to me that high school was going to be different for me. I was going to be cool and not an outcast.  I was a bit of a chunky child still but I was so proud of what I bought with my own babysitting money.  I wore cut off jean shorts and a flannel sleeveless shirt that tied at the top of my non-existent waist.   I walked into the gym with my best friend and immediately all the 'cool' kids started making fun of me.  It was awful.  I somehow made it through for an hour or so and then walked home early.  My curfew that night was 9 but my dad found me in the basement at 7:30 doing laundry (aka trying to ruin my new outfit) and shaking in shame.  He just held me tight and told me that HS would be different and that I was beautiful inside and out and that nobody has the right to tell me otherwise.  Years later my mom told me he wanted to walk over to the gym and yell at everyone.  She had to talk him down.  I just knew I was loved. 

 TL:DR your kids remember every time you stick up for them.

Oh I just about teared up. I had to distract myself. If I could come through the screen and hug you I will.  I didn't hang with a clique. I had one best friend. But I befriended everyone. I hated to see anyone picked on. I made sure to talk to people I noticed were alone or mistreated.  I'm teaching my daughter to be the same. I'm not a saint by any means. Haha my family struggled, 3 daughters, small town, didn't have name brand anything. But we were taken care of. Knowing how it felt, I sure didn't want others to feel like me. I'm rambling. I understand your story. And gosh ding dang it (ha) the momma in me wanted to beat down all those people in the bleachers for you! 

[GreatKazu]

Oh my gosh, that brought a tear to my eye @LBS. Both eyes! 

On behalf of mamas and dads everywhere, you are special. Many of us have been where you have been. I have watched bullies and mean girls be cruel to friends of mine and I had a couple of girls who made things hard for me in junior high and high school. Sadly, one of those girls was killed in a car wreck when she was only 15 years of age. 

I have had to teach all my kids to learn to stick up and speak up for themselves. I told them to not resort to violence or any bullying, but to use their minds. There comes a time when we as parents have our buttons pushed and we feel the need and the urge to do something. Many times it is not worth it. But there are those times when that fire is set off within and we feel the need to do something. I remember my parent going to my school to talk to my teacher when I felt she was unfairly accusing some students of cheating and threatening to make us take an exam again. I had received a B on my test. I sure didn't cheat. This was at a time when parents took the words of the teachers over their student. Imagine my shock to see my mom show up afterschool to talk to the teacher and inform her how unjust it was to assume other students had cheated when only two were caught. The teacher ended up backing down on her threat. 

[LBS]

Thank you GreatKazu and Mkay!  Grade school and high school were rough.   But in college I decided to not give a fig about what people thought of me and I've enjoyed life since.  You guys (and everyone on this site pretty much) are great people!

[MissMel]

Not to derail or change the subject but I really, really need to vent.  Feel free to ignore me.

I have never in my life seen a person flat out in a heroin coma.  I have now.  It wasn't some stranger on the news, or Jenelle in her hay day.  But full on shot-the-fuck out.  With two kids.  In person.  It was horrifying.

I get being drunk and passed out.  I've also seen being meth or cracked out.  But this was different.  DCF is involved now.  Temporary custody is established until their father can get here.  But Good God, what a fucking mess.  

I feel so bad for the kids, first and foremost.  But I also ache for their mother.  She lost her stepdad last year, her father a few months ago, and her mother last Tuesday.  (Or Wednesday-whatever)  

This girl is shot the fuck out.  She's gonna die.  It's not a matter of 'if', it's the matter of when.  Those poor children. ???

[GreatKazu]

OMG MissMel I am not clear who you are referencing, but it sounds like someone close to you. 

I am sad whenever children are caught up in these situations. Horrific. 

[MissMel]

Thank you my favorite little green Kazu.  ☺ They are all very close.  And as if it can't get worse, it did.  DCF can't do a damn thing about it.  The girl knows what to say and how to say it.  It's a punch in the gut and a 'you're welcome', to boot.  I can't believe it.  

Which, fine, whatever.  You can only do what you can do.  I'm praying that the legal system can find it's way and get these kids out of their mother's home.  For now.  Their dad gets here in the morning and can take them home with him, if the court allows it.  I'm not one to advocate removing children from their homes, but in this circumstance?  I'm begging for it.

 It's that bad.

I have never in my life seen living human beings, alive, but the with shallowest breathing that made them appear dead.  It was fucking weird.  My first thought was "fuck. they're already dead."   I'm 42.  I've seen a lot in my time.  I can't imagine what these kids felt like.  And they are used to it.  They just don't want their mom to get in trouble.  ???                                               

[GreatKazu]

6 minutes ago, MissMel said:

Thank you my favorite little green Kazu.  ☺ They are all very close.  And as if it can't get worse, it did.  DCF can't do a damn thing about it.  The girl knows what to say and how to say it.  It's a punch in the gut and a 'you're welcome', to boot.  I can't believe it.  

Which, fine, whatever.  You can only do what you can do.  I'm praying that the legal system can find it's way and get these kids out of their mother's home.  For now.  Their dad gets here in the morning and can take them home with him, if the court allows it.  I'm not one to advocate removing children from their homes, but in this circumstance?  I'm begging for it.

 It's that bad.

I have never in my life seen living human beings, alive, but the with shallowest breathing that made them appear dead.  It was fucking weird.  My first thought was "fuck. they're already dead."   I'm 42.  I've seen a lot in my time.  I can't imagine what these kids felt like.  And they are used to it.  They just don't want their mom to get in trouble.  ???                                               

I am praying right there with you. It can't be easy for them to speak the truth. Kids just want things to be as normal as possible, even in the worst of circumstances. To them, that is normal even though you and I know different. My gosh. Sad. 

[ReadMeLattice]

Whoa @MissMel, I'm sorry. I'm sad to say I've witnessed something similar and it's truly traumatizing even if you're not close to the person, which it sounds like you are. I hope you are doing any healing you need to. <3

[MissMel]

Thank you, @Lm2162.  I think I have been.  I'm not even sure how many hours I have slept.  I just know I woke up one time in a frog position and the next time my feet were on my pillows.  I looked at my husband and he just shook his head and put his hands up.  Lol.  "your not crying any more so, I guess that's good?"  This has taken a toll on me, for sure.

I've raised three kids.  They are all about 7 years apart.  This girl, her 'baby daddy', and my closest friend are all from the first group of kids.  30-35ish.  Not much younger than I am.  (I married an older man that had custody of his oldest son.  We had two more kids together)

I'm pulling it together in case I'm needed, though.  I moved about 7 years ago and not many people know where I am now.  I've got a spare bedroom and a car if their dad needs it for them.  I really, really want to care about their mom but no joke, she's gonna die.  I'm not even sure how she hasn't yet.  And I've known this girl since she was her children's ages.  Long time! It's just so sad.

I also feel a little bad for the people that live in my old house now.  They are probably getting some questionable knocks on their door today.  

It reminds me of a conversation I had, years ago.  It was with a friend, who is also a science teacher and my son's wrestling coach, and a neighbor.  "You've raised a really good kid around here, Melinda. It's kind of crazy around here."  "thanks, Jim.  Tell him that, please.  There is a reason I raised him in the lion's den."  He called me a few YEARS later to tell me he finally understood what I said.  "I'm little, I'm quiet, and I've raised a few men.  I pack a punch, Jim." He just laughed.

[MissMel]

They are in court, right now.  Emergency hearing.  They are trying to get help for the mother, too.  I hope they can and hope it works.  I'm doubtful though.  The good news though?  The kids are going to be ok.  Relatively speaking.

[MissMel]

Denied.  What a crock of shit.  

[GreatKazu]

So sorry. I was going to post before, but I was holding out to see what the status of the hearing would be. 

This has got to be so hard on you. I can't even imagine. 

[MissMel]

Thank you, @GreatKazu.  This kid came to Florida, to get his kids.  He needs the court permission to do that.  And he was denied.  His words: "if it was me in the pictures? I'd be back in prison for child neglect.  I can pass a drug test any day.  She can't."

To be fair. nobody knew it got this bad.  Like I said, she just lost her father and now her mother.  He's still got a little legal wiggle room but, damn.  It was a hard hit.

[GreatKazu]

I question our judicial system sometimes. I will continue to pray for the welfare of those kids. Try and get some much-needed rest and sleep. 

[MissMel]

The kids are actually ok right now.  No worries there.  But thank you, all the same.  The plan is to get the mom to agree to let the kids go home with their dad.  And she can keep the child support every week.  Which is almost all of his paycheck.  He doesn't care.  If it works, It's worth it.  

???

[GreatKazu]

*shaking my head*

I hope she agrees to letting the kids go. 

[MissMel]

I'm going to ask for a favor, right now.  If you happen to be a praying person, can you send up one or two please?  If you're not, that's cool too.  Just some good vibes can go a long way, as well.  :)

It's for the mother of these children.  Girl (woman, she's in her early 30's but she will always be a girl to me.  I think we met when she was 11 or 12)  She's trying to get number than numb.  The kids are safe but this girl is not.  Keep in mind, she just lost all of her parents.  Her mom last week.  She is lost.  

I know some people think addiction is a choice, and I can see it that way sometimes too.  This girl is on the ledge and there isn't shit we can do about it until she falls.  And hopefully survives.  

I know I sound crazy.  I lost my sister, my only sibling, 4 years ago.  My brother in law hanged himself 4 months later.  This feels pretty important to me.  I don't want to lose this girl too.