Small Talk: 7th Floor Nurses Station

[Box305]

Thank you. And I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is really hard and I know too many people who have gone through it recently. 

 

Yeah, we had a pretty hard time on Thanksgiving, it wasn't great on Christmas either but it was a little better. Then in February, we went out to dinner on what would have been my parents' 45th wedding anniversary and that was pretty hard on my mom. I'm just really dreading Father's Day and his next birthday. We got to celebrate one last birthday with him while he was in the hospital in September. 

 

It's just hard for me because I'm a baseball writer/blogger and I write because my dad's the one who introduced me to sports when I was a little girl. I've had such a tough time writing anything sports related since he first got sick and especially since he died. The Friday before Opening Day (4/3) will be the 6 month anniversary of his passing and I'm hoping that by then, I'll have something to write about. I almost feel like my ability to write about baseball died with him even though I know he wouldn't want that. He was proud of what I was able to accomplish (I was published in three magazines last year and he was very proud of me) and would tell me to stop being so silly. 

 

Oh boy. I need to stop because I will bawl at any second. Thanks for letting me vent. 

[magnolia11]

I'm so sorry -- hugs to you. Hang in there. Should you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, please feel free to PM me.

[Box305]

Thank you. 

[Sake614]

I feel your pain. My dad is gone 20 years but I still feel the loss. The first year especially. My parents and I used to go out to dinner on my birthday every year. The days around it were for friends, but the actual day was always with my parents. Dad would take me anywhere I wanted to go, no questions asked. He died 2 months before my 35th birthday and although mom wanted to celebrate, I had no interest. Even now, it just isn't the same.

 

I think it's awesome that you got into writing because of your dad. When the inspiration strikes again, and it will, I'm sure your next blog will be terrific. You can even dedicate it to him! Or maybe write about him.

[Box305]

I turned 40 in August (a week after dad was admitted into the hospital). He kept asking the nurses what day it was and telling them that my birthday was coming up and that he didn't want to miss it. Turns out we both missed it because I was sick with vertigo and couldn't leave the house for a few days (my birthday included) and he was having trouble breathing that morning so they sedated and intubated him. 

 

Now, over six months later, my cousins want to throw me a party because they feel bad that I didn't get to have a celebration of any kind but I don't even want them to bother because it won't be the same without my dad. 

[WendyCR72]

@Box305, I'm so sorry.  :-(  But I hope your writing muse in the guise of your dad's spirit or whatever you believe in will help revive the urge. It sounds like he would want you to keep writing!

 

But even if it doesn't come for Opening Day, give yourself time. It'll happen when it's supposed to.

[Box305]

Yeah, people keep saying that. I just feel sort of useless without the ability or the muse to write right now. I really hope I snap out of it soon. 

[Sake614]

You can't put a timetable on these things. Hopefully your muse returns by Opening Day in honor of your dad. But if not, it will come back when it (and you) are ready. I understand it's frustrating, but just give yourself time. You didn't just lose a possession, you lost your father. It isn't something you can just snap your fingers and get over. In fact, I don't think you ever really 'get over' it. But in time, you'll start to feel a little better, be able to remember the fun times and even laugh again.

[OnceSane]

My condolences, Box.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Hey y'all.

 

Just thought I'd give you an update in the proper thread (ahem).

 

I finished chemo, so yay! for that.  But man, it was totally kicking my ass. There were days I wanted to just curl up in the fetal position and just die. Because the nausea was the WORST.  Losing my hair and my eyebrows just made it worse, because I looked like one of Charles Manson's fucking psychotic followers. All that was missing was the bastardized swastika imprinted on my forehead.

 

Then there was the daily fevers. Which turned out to be not related to the chemo, but the expander. Loooong story that I won't bore or gross you guys out with. Suffice it to say, my breast surgeon, who totally ROCKS! (said in Shawn Spencer's (from Psych) voice), took care of the problem, and I'm finally on the road to recovery. Have to continue on Herceptium until November though.

 

I've been very lucky with my oncology and surgical team and the support I've gotten from them.

 

That said, I've read what dubbel posted in the episode thread about Ava's one dose of chemo and her behavior afterward, and it made me see red.  God, if the fuckwits in charge are too fucking lazy to quickly Google, then go back to 1993 when Monica had her breast cancer storyline. Oh, wait. That would take longer than Googling. Never mind.

 

Anyhoo, thanks to all for all your well wishes. I'm slowly trying to get back to posting to all my shows I watch, but it's a slow process.

 

ETA: my condolences, Box.

Edited March 24, 2015 by GHScorpiosRule

[WendyCR72]

@GHScorpiosRule, yay!! So happy you're done with chemo! I'm sure the nausea and eyebrow loss sucks, but now, it's all uphill from here on out! Congrats and continued good health to you!

[Box305]

Thank you, @GHScorpiosRule

 

I'm really glad to hear that you're done with chemo and I hope for continued good health and a speedy recovery for you. 

[Sake614]

@GHScorpiosRule, YAY for finishing chemo! Sounds like you went through hell and back but I'm thrilled to hear you're on the mend.

[magnolia11]

Glad to hear you're done with chemo, @GHScorpiosRule.  Hope you have a smooth recovery from here on out!

[dubbel zout]

Congrats, GHScorpiosRule!! Finishing chemo is a huge milestone! I was amazed (in the good way) how quickly my body started repairing itself after I was done with chemo. I wish you the same!

Edited March 24, 2015 by dubbel zout

[GHScorpiosRule]

Thanks everyone!

 

I'm just starting to feel a wee bit better now. Like I said, there were complications that developed with the breast expander, so my recovery hasn't been as quick as it should have been. But that's been resolved and the daily fevers have stopped.  Just need for my energy to come back! I've always been a quick healer, so I'm hoping this bloody weakness will soon abate.

 

But while waiting for the fevers to stop, I was, just recently binge-watching Psych, which isn't a bad way to while away the time. The best thing about that show is Gus and Shawn's friendship. It is THE BEST. I just love those two together!

[tvgoddess]

See, I told you that you could get through it, GHScorpiosRule! Sorry that you've had such a hard time, but I'm really glad that you're finished and back to feeling better finally. You're a real trooper, and I think you're amazing. :)

[OnceSane]

Congrats on making it through chemo, GHScorpiosRule.

[Chairperson Meow]

Congrats on making it through chemo! I've seen people go through it. It's not nice. *Internet fist bump*

[testardo]

Glad to hear you are on the road to recovery..I don't know from experience what you are going through, but I certainly wish you the best.  GH  ScorpiosRule.

[ulkis]

please tell me this isn't Mikey Jerome

 

[jsbt]

Don't worry, it is!

[Tiger]

I goggled (<not a typo) this guy and like, uh . . . who the hell is he?!?

[dubbel zout]

Oh, dear.

[Box305]

Didn't even last five seconds. 

[WendyCR72]

I don't know who this is...and I guess that is a good thing.

[ulkis]

This is off-topic, but apparently my affiliate stealthily dropped "The Chew" because I turned my tv on a few minutes before 3 and "Hot Bench" was airing instead.

 

 

I'm sad that this turned out to be a show about judges and not men doing push-ups, which for some reason I thought it was gonna be.

[Francie]

I'm sad that this turned out to be a show about judges and not men doing push-ups, which for some reason I thought it was gonna be.

 

The ABC show about men doing push-ups is called General Hospital. 

[ulkis]

The ABC show about men doing push-ups is called General Hospital. 

 

If only! I think the last push-ups we got were back last year when Nathan was doing them randomly.

[Francie]

If only! I think the last push-ups we got were back last year when Nathan was doing them randomly.

 

Responding back in the TFGH thread.

 

GHScorpiosRule, I had no idea.  So glad to hear that you complete the chemo process, and I hope that your recovery has been speedy and uneventful.

[GHScorpiosRule]

GHScorpiosRule, I had no idea.  So glad to hear that you complete the chemo process, and I hope that your recovery has been speedy and uneventful.

 

 

Thanks Francie, and I thought the rest of my recovery would be uneventful...but HAH! Now, all of a sudden, I need a fucking referral for my surgeon to complete part two/final surgery of the reconstruction. And said referral has to be posted on fucking online at the insurance carrier's website. AAAAAND supposedly, this is a new requirement from said carrier. Though I wonder if it's because this carrier is through the State Exchange.

 

Soooo, I've been on the phone with the carrier, my surgeon's office, my soon to be ex-primary physician's office (because they don't ACCEPT carriers via State Exchange), to get this fucking thing done. Though I was confused when my surgeon's office said that if the referral wasn't posted by Friday from my soon to be ex-primary, then I have to pay full charges for my Monday visit (to discuss what needs to be done for the final surgery). Confusing because I've had this new carrier since January, and I've seen my surgeon three or four times and never had to get a referral before; but apparently for the final surgery, I do????!!!!!

 

I'm totally changing carriers, because it didn't state anywhere in the information packets that I needed a fucking referral. I had to deal with that shit back in my teens and early 20s. It's why I love PPOs. Don't need no fucking referrals to see specialists. And how come I didn't need a referral when I saw my oncologist/breast surgeon just a couple weeks and yesterday? GAH!!!!!

[Sake614]

Oh geez! The last thing you need now is more red tape! I'm forever grateful that I have a PPO through my company and dont' have to worry about Obamacare or state exchanges or anything else. No referrals needed, ever. For anything. No pre-certification for tests. Good luck getting it resolved and more importantly, good luck with the final surgery! I hope it goes well and that you'll be on the mend in no time.

[Tiger]

Oh geez! The last thing you need now is more red tape! I'm forever grateful that I have a PPO through my company and dont' have to worry about Obamacare or state exchanges or anything else. No referrals needed, ever. For anything. No pre-certification for tests. Good luck getting it resolved and more importantly, good luck with the final surgery! I hope it goes well and that you'll be on the mend in no time.

I have a PPO through my employer too, and now the allergy specialist that I've been going to for over 8 years won't see me if I don't have a referral from my primary care doctor. Apparently every time I want see the allergist I have to get a new referral. When I balked, the receptionist said "blame Obama!".

I'm not here to debate the pros and cons of the ACA, but I have so many strange stories like mine since it started going into affect.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Oh geez! The last thing you need now is more red tape! I'm forever grateful that I have a PPO through my company and dont' have to worry about Obamacare or state exchanges or anything else. No referrals needed, ever. For anything. No pre-certification for tests. Good luck getting it resolved and more importantly, good luck with the final surgery! I hope it goes well and that you'll be on the mend in no time.

 

For realsies! The thing is, I thought this was a PPO or there was some language that said though it was an HMO, it didn't require referrals. I KNOW I saw that language before deciding on it. It's a "new" version of United Health Care--Midatlantic Gold Compass or something. The "regular" UHC isn't available in my state.

 

But it still doesn't explain, how I was able to see both my surgeons post mastectomy, during chemo and my oncologist without having to provide a fucking referral. But now that I'm in the home stretch, for the final reconstructive surgery, it's required.  It's too late to change carriers, but you can bet your ass come November I'm going to change it. The only reason I changed it in January was because Carefirst jacked up the premium by 30%, and it was a PPO for individual health insurance. BAH!

 

All this stress has jacked up my blood pressure, which isn't good.

[Sake614]

All this stress has jacked up my blood pressure, which isn't good

 

 

Certainly not! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your insurance, but I hope you get it straightened out quickly and are able to get the final procedure done. Honestly, I've heard more bad than good about the ACA. I have no first-hand experience with it, but people I know who have it tell me that the best hospitals/doctors are not included in the plans. When I had my brain surgery in December, there was no question about what neurosurgeon I would see. My doctor said 'go across the street to this guy. He's the best of the best.' So that's what I did. Of course he was out of network and the insurance only covered about half his bill. But at least I have out of network coverage and I'll work something out with his office about the balance.

 

But I digress...it's always frustrating dealing with insurance companies, and even harder when you're sick because you don't have the strength to do it. Sometimes I think they plan it that way just so we dont' complain.

 

Good luck and keep us posted!

[Chairperson Meow]

Good luck with the insurance bs. I kinda feel you on that. I have crohns and a bunch of other side illnesses. The insurance red tape is a whole different headache itself. Everytime my gastro doc switches even one of my meds, it's going to a new infusion center or going through all new paperwork. I swear I can fill that stuff out in my sleep. And then a lot of them it's like the prior authorization forms. At every specialist I go to. For every medicine. My pharmacy knows me and my boyfriend, since I send him to pick up meds a lot. I wish you the best of luck with that bs and your recovery. The best system I've found is to get a small file cabinet and file everything. I also have a flash drive (multiple ) that stores copies.

[DollEyes]

GHScorpiosRule: Congrats on surviving chemo and best of luck on your recovery.

[Gigi43]

GHScorpiosRule, congrats on making it this far in recovery, first of all! But so sorry to hear about this BS now. It's such a shame what the insurances do... like people are submitting to go through various tests and treatments becaise there's nothing else to do?

 

I had diverticulitis at 14, which is really rare age-wise, whenever it's time to get checks via CTs or Colonoscopy, the insurances have changed over the years, but the same doctor always has to remind them of my history and that yes, of course there is a reason to be sending me for such things.   Awareness is good thing I get that, but sometimes when celebrities or Dr. Oz-types go on about screenings and preventions for this and that, it annoys me. Some of us are fighting for needed stuff, it's like they don't get that we can't just stroll into our real doctor and get whatever they're saying.

 

One of my best friends always jokes its a scam the insurances are trying to drive you to more doctors via killing your nerves/blood pressure.

[Sake614]

One of my best friends always jokes its a scam the insurances are trying to drive you to more doctors via killing your nerves/blood pressure.

I have very little doubt that's true lol!

[Francie]

It makes me truly glad the teen demos could hardly populate a couple high school gyms at this point. I get that soaps are largely escapism, but people -- especially kids and adolescents -- pick up social cues, perceptions, and even morals from any type of entertainment (like I said before about the 1970's GH taught me that women could have a career in a top profession).  And there's nothing good to be gleaned from the existence of Kiki.

 

Speaking of kids picking up on social cues and interpreting and internalizing what they see on tv, a friend of mine had her grandfather pass away recently.  He was in his 90s.  My friend has two sons, one is 4, the other 8. 

 

At the visitation for my friend's grandfather Friday night, her 4 and 8 year old boys were in a side room that had a view of the casket.  At one point, the 4-year-old, very seriously, calls for his 8-year-old brother to come over.  The 4-year-old has something very important to tell him.  He looks over at his great grandfather in the casket, considers the situation, and then declares, "He's going to be a vampire now." 

[Box305]

My brother was four when my grandpa passed away and my mom told him that grandpa was in heaven. On the day of the wake, we walked into the viewing room at the funeral home, my brother sees grandpa in the coffin, looks at my mom and says, "Mom, are we in heaven?"

[GHScorpiosRule]

So after all that bullshit about how the PCP's office had to post the referral to UHC's website, where my surgeon's office HAD to pull it off of, PCP was able to fucking FAX the referral because UHC had locked them out.

 

So nooooooooow....I had to go to my primary and have her give a clearance for my surgeon to do the surgery. What the what? Clearance? As in permission? So I call her, and nope, won't do it until she sees me, and that won't work because her office doesn't accept the state exchange UHC. Soooo, I change Primary, and go see him...final surgery may be postponed because my EKG came up with "abnormal" (whatever the fuck that means) and my primary refused to sign off on it, meaning, clearing me for surgery.  He recommends an EchoCardiogram. I told him I already HAD one two months ago, and it was NORMAL. He still refuses to sign off on it, soooo...I'm keeping my original appointment with the cardiac associates (yesterday), and hoping they have a better machine and will yield a normal; I looked up the difference between EKG and Echo Cardiogram, the latter, which my primary wanted me to get.  and whenever an EKG is not normal, then it's a ECG that's done. Everything is so fucked up and it's totally an insurance/HMO thing, I'm so sure. Because I certainly didn't need to go through all these hoops and rings when it came to my mastectomy. (i had PPO then).  I called my plastic surgeon's office, and his scheduler told me he said "not to stress" worst outcome, the surgery will be postponed. Which okay, but Mutant Boob is starting to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes and it's feeling heavy again. And I had a lowgrade fever all weekend. I just want the whole thing to be over and done with already. Is that so wrong?

 

So, even at Cardiac yesterday, the EKG was "not normal" and the nurse asked did I want a full work up and Cardio? I said I didn't have the order for that, so nixed it. So I go back to my office, in DC!!!! (Dr. office was in MD), only to have my surgeon's office call and tell me that oopsie, it should have been a CARDIOGRAM. 

 

Me: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

The one I had two months ago was "too old" and so I went BACK to Cardiac place, had the Cardio and it was NORMAL. Just like I'd been telling EVERYONE at EVERY PLACE. So, they said, no worries, my surgeon would get the permission clearance by end of day.  I hotfoot it back to DC. I'm not happy. Morons don't listen to me when I know my own body.  Nurse had said point of EKG was to make sure my heart was strong enough to withstand anesthesia. Which, hello! This last surgery is not as invasive or as LONG as the mastectomy, and I survived that just fine. But whatever.

 

So I called my surgeon's office earlier, to make sure Cardiac place did indeed give permission sign the clearance for surgery, and yes they did.  With all the bullshit I've put up with these past two weeks, I think I was entitled to be skeptical and not believe them. So, I go under the knife on Friday as planned.

 

I'm thinking I'll wait until the new year to get my mediport removed--and get new insurance. The PPO kind and not have to deal with this kind of ridonkulous bullshit.

Edited April 22, 2015 by GHScorpiosRule

[dubbel zout]

Good lord, GHScorpiosRule. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. What a frustrating nightmare. Kudos for not shooting an RPG into the whole thing.

[Gigi43]

Gee I wonder if stress can throw off an EKG?! GHScorpiosRule, that crazy, terrible and so very unfair.

The people that make these insurance rules should have to live with said insurance for a period of time. Its all done by people getting better coverage and making enough money to probably have more out of pocket options and therefore don't have a clue.

[GHScorpiosRule]

One thing the tech who conducted my echocardiogram yesterday said, that what's normal for one person (on an EKG) could be abnormal/not normal for someone else. Which makes me think, why bother with those then, when ultimately, the next step is an Echocardiogram, which is basically a sonogram of the heart.

 

But what do I know? I'm no doctor.

[tvgoddess]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that on top of everything else. It's criminal that after everything you've gone through, you're dealing with this. 

 

I finally just finished paying off my radiation (that insurance didn't cover) after two years. And now I'm fighting to get my six-month checkup covered from February. They covered them previously, so there is no reason why they shouldn't cover them now. I'm supposed to get an MRI this summer, but unless I can get a guarantee from them in writing that I won't be charged for it (it's covered under my insurance since it's right there in the doctor's office), I'm not doing it.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Oh this just takes the fucking Cake.

 

Turns out the stoopid cardiac place just sent the results and not the clearance letter. I called the asshats and they tell I have to see the doctor first. No fucking way. Okay, I didn't use the f-bomb, but did ask why? I mean I can't be running between DC and Olney, MD (which does NOT have a metro station) when I've done every damn thing I'm supposed to. I even asked if I could see the doctor yesterday afternoon, and was told "no, no, tests are normal, your surgeon will get everything he needs, you're good to go."  And that's exactly what I said to the person on the phone, and also said, snarkily/bitchily (take your pick), "what's the doctor going to do, feel my heartbeat and then say, okay, now I'll write the letter? He has the results of the test. That's all he needed."  Then I said, let the doctors hash it out. I'm scheduled for this surgery, and your office is putting up roadblocks like every other doctor. I'm out of it.

 

Then I called my oncologist's office and asked the nurse if SHE (onco) couldn't write the letter. And guess what? I was told I should have seen my breast surgeon (who performed the mastectomy) to begin with. The whole fucking referral requirement messed me up/made me stupid, because of COURSE! She would have given the letter right away. So now, assuming that my plastic surgeon and stoopid cardiologist don't resolve this, my breast surgeon FUCKING Will. I know that, because she doesn't put up with this kind of bullshit.

[Tiger]

What a bunch of fucking bullshit. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this!

[SlovakPrincess]

Ugh that's just not ok at all. I'm sorry GHScorpiosRule!

[GHScorpiosRule]

Aaaand surgery postponed. Stupidasslameofacardiologist insists I see him before he'll sign any letter.