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Small Talk: The Hourglass Sandbox


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They should let all the neighbors know that there will be a loud, all night party. No matter what day it is, that is inconsiderate. Keep the police non emergency number handy and complain if it is too loud too long.

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Many thanks for your counsel. We will probably endure the party and may call the police if it seems warranted which I expect. This is not a large community population wise but is large in area so sounds travel. People also seem to know your business before you do. I hope for rain and black fly attacks and if you’ve ever been bit by one of those flying draculas you know that they can cut short time outside quickly. 

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17 minutes ago, FrankOFoley said:

 I hope for rain and black fly attacks and if you’ve ever been bit by one of those flying draculas you know that they can cut short time outside quickly. 

I pray for rain every weekend so I seriously feel for you.  I live in a neighborhood that looks nice and quaint on the surface but appearances are deceiving. I have obnoxious neighbors on both sides of me. 

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38 minutes ago, Peanut6711 said:

I pray for rain every weekend so I seriously feel for you.  I live in a neighborhood that looks nice and quaint on the surface but appearances are deceiving. I have obnoxious neighbors on both sides of me. 

I can empathize with  both of you. We had a pretty quiet  neighborhood of mostly older people but when they die or move out of this godforsaken climate the young ones move in and then the dogs go barking with no one telling them to shut up, fireworks, shooting guns, kids screaming, parties, dogs winding up in your yard, not to mention for some reason the yard start looking like dumps,  etc. etc. it’s hell and if you live in a place like where I do there are not many laws to protect you. Very sorry I moved here. I hate rural living, give me a place that has strict laws and police that will come out and enforce them.

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I live in a duplex bareland condo. The folks next door like to have parties starting around 11 pm on weekdays. I have complained many times. Surely they can serve 10% less alcohol so the guests don't get as wasted, and they can learn to leave in the middle of the night without hollering at what seems like under my bedroom window. I go in to panic mode thinking there is a fire and can't get back to sleep. Ugh. They also have a bad habit of sometimes opening and closing their garage door which is not far from my bedroom window and bedroom. Who opens and closes their garage door 150 plus times in just over 2 hours? In the middle of the night?

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7 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

I live in a duplex bareland condo. The folks next door like to have parties starting around 11 pm on weekdays. I have complained many times. Surely they can serve 10% less alcohol so the guests don't get as wasted, and they can learn to leave in the middle of the night without hollering at what seems like under my bedroom window. I go in to panic mode thinking there is a fire and can't get back to sleep. Ugh. They also have a bad habit of sometimes opening and closing their garage door which is not far from my bedroom window and bedroom. Who opens and closes their garage door 150 plus times in just over 2 hours? In the middle of the night?

Isn’t there a no noise after 10pm law? That’s horrible. People can really suck. 

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To those who are living in areas having drought, I sincerely hope the rains will come soon. And enough gentle rain to not only fill the reservoirs but also to add back to the aquifers. I wish I could send you some of ours, but alas, petroleum pipelines are more important than shipping water where it is needed.

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Several weeks ago I wrote about the arrival of the bluebirds. They successfully nested and their babies fledged a couple of days ago. Yay! The couple is still around taking care of the babies for a while, but the male has been "courting" the female so maybe we'll have a second brood! Hope so.

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So I got another cat.  Since sometimes sanity and I are nodding acquaintances, at best, I have a small room on the back of my garage that I've converted to a "cat room."  There is a large picture window, a cat window seat and several ramps and perches mounted on the walls.  They have a cat door that connects to a raised "catwalk" which leads to a ladder and a cat-fenced area - properly landscaped, of course.  I have a small collection of stray/rescue cats that live there - both friendly and not friendly.  (I tell myself that I'm still sane because none of these cats are actually in my house.)  We went out of town and my cat sitter reported seeing a small black cat outside on our property.  Before we even laid eyes on it - we discovered it had simply decided to move in to the pen.  It figured out how to get in, a feat which, (knock wood) even most of the raccoons haven't figured out.  It even figured out that the when the light was on, that meant someone was in the room putting out food.  I NEVER feed them outside because I don't want to attract the aforementioned raccoons.

We, of course, had to find a way to get it isolated because we didn't know what kind of diseases it could be carrying.  I vaguely suspected that someone had simply seen our set-up and dumped their unwanted cat in our pen, but after getting him and taking him to the vet, it became really obvious that he's been on the streets for a really long time.  His estimated age is between 5 and 8 years.  He was not neutered.  At some point he had broken his jaw and it healed funny, giving him a really wonky fang.  He actually needed to have it and 2 other teeth pulled so he obviously hasn't had care in a while.  He's quite skinny and has a coat that could best be described as "moth-eaten" but miraculously, tested clean for FIV and Leukemia.  Since this doesn't seem like a cat I can really give to someone as a pet, it looks like he will, indeed, be permanent.

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1 hour ago, DaphneCat said:

So I got another cat.  Since sometimes sanity and I are nodding acquaintances, at best, I have a small room on the back of my garage that I've converted to a "cat room."  There is a large picture window, a cat window seat and several ramps and perches mounted on the walls.  They have a cat door that connects to a raised "catwalk" which leads to a ladder and a cat-fenced area - properly landscaped, of course.  I have a small collection of stray/rescue cats that live there - both friendly and not friendly.  (I tell myself that I'm still sane because none of these cats are actually in my house.)  We went out of town and my cat sitter reported seeing a small black cat outside on our property.  Before we even laid eyes on it - we discovered it had simply decided to move in to the pen.  It figured out how to get in, a feat which, (knock wood) even most of the raccoons haven't figured out.  It even figured out that the when the light was on, that meant someone was in the room putting out food.  I NEVER feed them outside because I don't want to attract the aforementioned raccoons.

We, of course, had to find a way to get it isolated because we didn't know what kind of diseases it could be carrying.  I vaguely suspected that someone had simply seen our set-up and dumped their unwanted cat in our pen, but after getting him and taking him to the vet, it became really obvious that he's been on the streets for a really long time.  His estimated age is between 5 and 8 years.  He was not neutered.  At some point he had broken his jaw and it healed funny, giving him a really wonky fang.  He actually needed to have it and 2 other teeth pulled so he obviously hasn't had care in a while.  He's quite skinny and has a coat that could best be described as "moth-eaten" but miraculously, tested clean for FIV and Leukemia.  Since this doesn't seem like a cat I can really give to someone as a pet, it looks like he will, indeed, be permanent.

I think you're absolutely fantastic for doing what you've done for these cats, and if that's crazy then I want a lifetime membership in your club.  

Those cats are beyond lucky to have you.  Thanks for being someone who brings light into this world.

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5 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

So I got another cat.  Since sometimes sanity and I are nodding acquaintances, at best, I have a small room on the back of my garage that I've converted to a "cat room."  There is a large picture window, a cat window seat and several ramps and perches mounted on the walls.  They have a cat door that connects to a raised "catwalk" which leads to a ladder and a cat-fenced area - properly landscaped, of course.  I have a small collection of stray/rescue cats that live there - both friendly and not friendly.  (I tell myself that I'm still sane because none of these cats are actually in my house.)  We went out of town and my cat sitter reported seeing a small black cat outside on our property.  Before we even laid eyes on it - we discovered it had simply decided to move in to the pen.  It figured out how to get in, a feat which, (knock wood) even most of the raccoons haven't figured out.  It even figured out that the when the light was on, that meant someone was in the room putting out food.  I NEVER feed them outside because I don't want to attract the aforementioned raccoons.

We, of course, had to find a way to get it isolated because we didn't know what kind of diseases it could be carrying.  I vaguely suspected that someone had simply seen our set-up and dumped their unwanted cat in our pen, but after getting him and taking him to the vet, it became really obvious that he's been on the streets for a really long time.  His estimated age is between 5 and 8 years.  He was not neutered.  At some point he had broken his jaw and it healed funny, giving him a really wonky fang.  He actually needed to have it and 2 other teeth pulled so he obviously hasn't had care in a while.  He's quite skinny and has a coat that could best be described as "moth-eaten" but miraculously, tested clean for FIV and Leukemia.  Since this doesn't seem like a cat I can really give to someone as a pet, it looks like he will, indeed, be permanent.

Bless you🥰🥰🥰. You have my dream set up. I have only one kitty that was dumped off. Needed $1,000 worth of dental care & worth every penny.  Such a heartbreaking, maddening situation. Ferals, people not fixing their cats, leaving & dropping off cats, etc. oh, if only I’d win the lottery ☹️ 

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Aww thanks, guys.  

2 hours ago, chediavolo said:

Such a heartbreaking, maddening situation. Ferals, people not fixing their cats, leaving & dropping off cats, etc.

Yes, we have one, that was probably a throw away.  A friend trapped her and several of her kittens.   She was able to place all of the kittens but she didn't find a home for mom cat.  The cat sits by the cat door and watches all the other cats go in and out but hasn't actually set paw outside since we've had her.  I think she's afraid that if she goes out she won't be able to get back in and she is NOT being trapped outside again.

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It was a little intense, with Sheila Carter holding a non-dead Finn hostage and running his adopted mother off the road, presumed dead. But Li is alive, $Bill rescued her, Finn is rescued and off to Monaco to reunite with his family.

Oh, and Sheila escaped again. 🙂

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On 8/1/2022 at 2:01 PM, tessaray said:

B&B is a snooze most of the time but it does have its moments. Sheila Carter is a top ten soap psychopath. 

Sheila Carter has to be one of the best soap villainess of all time created by the late great Bill Bell sr.

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On 8/1/2022 at 2:01 PM, tessaray said:

B&B is a snooze most of the time but it does have its moments. Sheila Carter is a top ten soap psychopath. 

I really wish I could have seen the Brent/Marian storyline on Guiding Light in 1995-96. The clips I've seen have been good. As for B&B, yes. My god it's basically a never ending Merry go round of Liam Steffy and Hope. They had an extremely good family dynamic set up with the Avants and then wrote all of them off.

Edited by methodwriter85
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On 8/4/2022 at 4:59 AM, methodwriter85 said:

I really wish I could have seen the Brent/Marian storyline on Guiding Light in 1995-96. The clips I've seen have been good. As for B&B, yes. My god it's basically a never ending Merry go round of Liam Steffy and Hope. They had an extremely good family dynamic set up with the Avants and then wrote all of them off.

The Brent/Marian storyline was a disturbing but fascinating story to watch simply because of the actor.  The actor later had a mental breakdown in real life because it was so hard for him to shake the character off after filming these heavy scenes for months on end.

Edited by Pearson80
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7 minutes ago, Pearson80 said:

The Brent/Marian storyline was a disturbing but fascinating story to watch simply because of the actor.  The actor later had a mental breakdown in real life because it was so hard for him to shake the character off after filming these heavy scenes for months on end.

It's sad his acting career halted after that. It's a shame- Frank Beaty's look totally would have fit in on All My Children or One Life to Life. I wouldn't be surprised if he was offered work but turned it down because it was too similar to Brent.

Edited by methodwriter85
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On 8/4/2022 at 3:59 AM, methodwriter85 said:

I really wish I could have seen the Brent/Marian storyline on Guiding Light in 1995-96. The clips I've seen have been good.

That was a controversial storyline. There were a lot of people who hated it, thought it was over-the-top and that Lucy and Alan-Michael should have recognized Brent immediately.

But I have to admit, I was fascinated by the story.  I was a fan of Lucy and Alan-Michael.  Brent was a scary frat boy type.  And I didn't recognize that Marian was Brent until he removed his makeup. 

There was definitely a sense of foreboding knowing Lucy was trusting the person who raped her.  Unfortunately, because of the issues Frank had, he left the role during some crucial moments so that took a bit away from that story. Beaty was amazing, though.

It's not a story that could probably be told today given how much awareness the transgender community has brought to the dangers of depicting a cis man dress as a woman in order to harm other women. But back then, I was along for the ride.

During the pandemic when Alan Locher was interviewing soap stars, there was an episode with Sonia Satra (Lucy) and Rick Hearst (Alan-Michael Spaulding) talking about their time working together.  Frank Beaty was supposed to be in that episode as well but backed out for some reason...allegedly to reschedule but I don't think that ever happened. It's too bad because I would have loved to get some insight into where his mind was.

Edited by Irlandesa
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He returned for the final bit, although you can tell it was pretty rushed. Frank just looked like he'd been through the emotional ringer- he did not look well although that added to scenes. 

Maybe it's for the best he didn't want to return- way too many soap villains are brought back for diminishing returns. Still, Frank was riveting. 1995-1996 was such a high point for a lot of soaps.

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1 hour ago, methodwriter85 said:

Maybe it's for the best he didn't want to return- way too many soap villains are brought back for diminishing returns. Still, Frank was riveting. 1995-1996 was such a high point for a lot of soaps.

Look at what Ron did to Orpheus..

Frank was just amazing in such an unconventional story..

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26 minutes ago, Pearson80 said:

Frank was just amazing in such an unconventional story..

I joked that they should have had fully committed to Thomas on B&B snapping and had him go undercover as a woman to get revenge on Hope as an ode to this story. Of course I'm not sure I could ever buy Matthew Atkinson as a woman no matter how much prosthetics you put on him. LOL. Frank was just short and slight enough that you could kinda buy it.

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Kinda of tired of just working.  Friends just have own lives. Complain about not doing anything then cancel plans all the time.   Had joined an app called meet up. Just a safe way for adults of same interest to meet up.  The first group I joined I liked    Then something happened with the leader of that group.  A new leader took over who is retired and makes all the happenings early during the day.

  Started my own group lots of people signed up.  Still no one wants to do anything 😢.  Made a outing for karaoke night.  Seven people signed up.  Six canceled.  One who signed up to bring a guest was a no show.  So I sat at a table by myself. 
guess I just can’t win. 

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1 hour ago, tribeca said:

Kinda of tired of just working.  Friends just have own lives. Complain about not doing anything then cancel plans all the time.   Had joined an app called meet up. Just a safe way for adults of same interest to meet up.  The first group I joined I liked    Then something happened with the leader of that group.  A new leader took over who is retired and makes all the happenings early during the day.

  Started my own group lots of people signed up.  Still no one wants to do anything 😢.  Made a outing for karaoke night.  Seven people signed up.  Six canceled.  One who signed up to bring a guest was a no show.  So I sat at a table by myself. 
guess I just can’t win. 

Yeah, making new friends after a certain age is sort of like hunting unicorns.  And the standard advice to join a group that has an activity that interests you doesn't always work the way people think it will.  Often people who are long-time members already have friends within the group so many of them aren't very outgoing anyway.  Hope it gets better.

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Joining groups or taking courses doesn’t always work. Coworkers can be risky as some may be two faced. I find it tough. I don’t know my neighbors or even their names. I chat with some folks on Twitter, but we have never met up. Even Twitter has cliques.

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2 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

I don’t know my neighbors or even their names.

Yeah, the idea of neighbors dropping in on each other all the time is basically either a relic of the past (when similar demographics moved into a new development) or a TV trope that never really existed in the first place. 

I live in a small area with only 3 other houses.  When we bought our house (more than 25 years ago) ALL our neighbors were old enough to be our parents.  One of them (in his 90's) still lives next door.  The house on the other side was taken over by the original owner's grandson (yes, we've known him since he was in high school.)  The third house was bought a few years ago by a newly married couple (never did meet the wife) who just sold it - we don't know who is going to move in.  So while I do, indeed know who (most) of my neighbors are, it's not like socializing frequently is in the future.

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I live in a 98 unit duplex condo complex.

No idea who really lives on the other side of the wall. Thought it was two young guys at first, then found out about the two wives. In their 20s. Have never met the wives and have seen them only a few times in 2 years. No idea if they are allowed to speak to me. One looks to be almost 7 months pregnant with baby 2. I think baby 1 arrived last September.   Ouch.  No idea if couple 2 is still there. How they all live in a 2 bedroom house. They have had no interaction with me since end of June. The condo folks wanted the roof to be replaced (new shingles). They stonewalled last fall and pulled a similar stunt in June. I have been ghosted again.

I speak to the lady on the other side sometimes. She is on the board. Another woman moved in to her house two years ago. I didn’t get a look at her til last summer. She pretty much ignores me.

I do talk to the lady across, some folks three houses down, and the widowed lady with the dog a few houses away.  Occasionally to the man on the other side of the problem folks next door.

I don’t need to be BFFs with the folks around me and get involved with their lives. I only would like to know who you are and if you are living around me so I don’t call the cops thinking that you are intruders.

Maybe the friendly neighbors are of the past. Most folks live on zero lot lines in newer areas and your neighbor is 6 feet from you.

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On 8/29/2022 at 9:46 AM, DaphneCat said:

Yeah, making new friends after a certain age is sort of like hunting unicorns.  And the standard advice to join a group that has an activity that interests you doesn't always work the way people think it will.  Often people who are long-time members already have friends within the group so many of them aren't very outgoing anyway.  Hope it gets better.

I was in the same situation so I got a dog. I know this would not work for everyone. Luckily for me and my dog we were living in SF which is a great place to have a dog. (I’ll never forget her awe and excitement the first time we went to Fort Funston and she saw THE BEACH!) We went for walks twice a day and we both made friends, altho I have to admit that often I knew the dog’s name but not the human’s. It was a good decision. Her photo is my avatar.

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Mom is here for a few more days then she is going back to Florida.  We were watching hoarders buried alive the other night. She asked me to rewind and told me oh I like that lamp.   Told her I don’t think you are getting the concept of this show lol.  
   Today she wants to make sauce.  My brother and I both told her we did not want her do as she has been hurting.  She wants to and says it’s not fair that she made it for my sister and not us.  We tried but lost this battle.  

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Mom last night visiting she made her sauce and we shared a delicious dinner.   When she went outside with my brother to smoke ( I know but it’s a hopeless battle) I ordered the movie Elvis for us to watch. 
    Both my parents loved Elvis. One of their first dates was an Elvis concert.  Dad dared moms to run up on stage.   Mom did not do it.  She said if she had they would not be married now. 
   The movie starts off kinda odd and jumpy.  Then boom he is famous. They show a part about his comeback special.  Asked mom if she remembered it.  She said oh yes and I had to tell her to calm down lol.  
   Since I can never get away with lying to mom I think I accidentally ordered HBO max instead of buying one movie.  
Anyway we had a nice visit.   Dad said he was ready for his wife to come back.  Mom said she could have used a few more weeks 😃🥰

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7 hours ago, tribeca said:

Tested positive for Covid today.  So cold, tired and bad headache 

So sorry! I've been battling a cough/cold this week - tested 3 times, always negative, but... who knows. First time being sick in over 2 years. It definitely sucks.

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4 minutes ago, boes said:

tribeca, how are you feeling?  Any better?

I hope this covid resolves fast for you.

Still tired sore throat  and can’t eat anything.  Covid meds leave any awful taste.  Trying some hot tea today.   At least the headache and chills are done 

received a phone call from work. They no longer pay for Covid time off so I have to use my personal days.   

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1 hour ago, tribeca said:

Still tired sore throat  and can’t eat anything.  Covid meds leave any awful taste.  Trying some hot tea today.   At least the headache and chills are done 

received a phone call from work. They no longer pay for Covid time off so I have to use my personal days.   

Ugh.  It sounds awful, I'm so sorry.  That call from work about having to use your personal days, not what you needed on top of feeling so sick.  I had it early on, sounds similar to what you're experiencing.  Good luck and keep us posted.

1 hour ago, tribeca said:

Still tired sore throat  and can’t eat anything.  Covid meds leave any awful taste.  Trying some hot tea today.   At least the headache and chills are done 

received a phone call from work. They no longer pay for Covid time off so I have to use my personal days.   

Ugh.  It sounds awful, I'm so sorry.  That call from work about having to use your personal days, not what you needed on top of feeling so sick.  I had it early on, sounds similar to what you're experiencing.  Good luck and keep us posted.

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Tribeca, I think it's total horseshit that you have to work while you're trying to recover from Covid.   It's inhuman.

Feel better and keep us posted, we're pulling for you.

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