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Has anyone attended a silver anniversary party lately?  I know the customary gift items for this event, but what’s a good option for a couple who have it all? They are retired and have a house full of silver service, trays, candle holders, frames, etc.  Honestly, I know they have struggled to downsize for years…so to give them more stuff….idk….it seems unnecessary, though I’m sure they would be polite about it.  

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2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Has anyone attended a silver anniversary party lately?  I know the customary gift items for this event, but what’s a good option for a couple who have it all? They are retired and have a house full of silver service, trays, candle holders, frames, etc.  Honestly, I know they have struggled to downsize for years…so to give them more stuff….idk….it seems unnecessary, though I’m sure they would be polite about it.  

How about a gift card to a favorite restaurant.

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8 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Has anyone attended a silver anniversary party lately?  I know the customary gift items for this event, but what’s a good option for a couple who have it all? They are retired and have a house full of silver service, trays, candle holders, frames, etc.  Honestly, I know they have struggled to downsize for years…so to give them more stuff….idk….it seems unnecessary, though I’m sure they would be polite about it.  

Donation all the way.  We all have too much "stuff".

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(edited)
1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Thanks for the suggestions.  I agree about not contributing to more stuff.  I think they would appreciate whichever choice I make.  I guess departing from tradition is okay though I feel awkward about it.  But I won’t give more stuff for tradition sake.  

If you thought you had to bring something maybe something consumable you know they like. Wine, a flower delivery, etc 

Edited by lookeyloo
Spelling
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(edited)
1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

If you thought you had to bring something maybe something consumable you know they like. Wine, a flower delivery, etc 

And if I could make a suggestion on the flower front, have them delivered the morning of the dinner or even the day before - it's tough to deal with a bunch of flowers thrust at you when you're in the process of meeting and greeting and worrying whether the potatoes are boiling over.

Edited by Ancaster
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13 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Has anyone attended a silver anniversary party lately?  I know the customary gift items for this event, but what’s a good option for a couple who have it all? They are retired and have a house full of silver service, trays, candle holders, frames, etc.  Honestly, I know they have struggled to downsize for years…so to give them more stuff….idk….it seems unnecessary, though I’m sure they would be polite about it.  

a gift card or $. who doesn't like $ as a gift?

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11 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Thanks for the suggestions.  I agree about not contributing to more stuff.  I think they would appreciate whichever choice I make.  I guess departing from tradition is okay though I feel awkward about it.  But I won’t give more stuff for tradition sake.  

I've just returned from a lovely milestone birthday party with family. Gifts are nice, but I was mostly touched by the love of family and appreciation for those who attended. Afterwards, I pore over pics from the occasion. I agree that it's not necessary to follow tradition. We've been married for 46 years and have enough stuff!

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9 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I've just returned from a lovely milestone birthday party with family. Gifts are nice, but I was mostly touched by the love of family and appreciation for those who attended. Afterwards, I pore over pics from the occasion. I agree that it's not necessary to follow tradition. We've been married for 46 years and have enough stuff!

Your birthday?  If so, Happy Belated Birthday! 🎂🎉

 

 I agree that it’s time and feelings that really matter.  The couple in my case have invited a half dozen couples they have known for many years to join them at a very nice restaurant to celebrate their 25th.  I’m not sure if others are planning to bring gifts, but I thought it was appropriate.  

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I think a gift card for a dinner or play or some other entertainment that you know they'd enjoy is a great way to go if you want to give them something specific to themselves.  Better yet, a donation to a charitable cause they either support or that is aligned with their own lives and interests.

A few years ago, I was invited to the 50th anniversary for a couple whose wife was involved in the same medical charitable work in Peru that I was doing.  I gave them a llama via Heifer International which, of course, provides livestock and education on its care to people in need.  She was thrilled with the idea that 'their' llama was going to help people in Peru, a country that she'd really grown to love.

For my 60th, my sisters threw a surprise party and asked for no gifts except to the El Salvadorean medical mission that I was involved with.  Enough money was donated that we were able to pay the local nurse working at the clinic for 6 months from the proceeds; I couldn't have asked for anything better.

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13 hours ago, Notabug said:

I think a gift card for a dinner or play or some other entertainment that you know they'd enjoy is a great way to go if you want to give them something specific to themselves.  Better yet, a donation to a charitable cause they either support or that is aligned with their own lives and interests.

A few years ago, I was invited to the 50th anniversary for a couple whose wife was involved in the same medical charitable work in Peru that I was doing.  I gave them a llama via Heifer International which, of course, provides livestock and education on its care to people in need.  She was thrilled with the idea that 'their' llama was going to help people in Peru, a country that she'd really grown to love.

For my 60th, my sisters threw a surprise party and asked for no gifts except to the El Salvadorean medical mission that I was involved with.  Enough money was donated that we were able to pay the local nurse working at the clinic for 6 months from the proceeds; I couldn't have asked for anything better.

I have given Heifer gifts several times, and they were always well received.  I gave bunnies to a friend who loves rabbits, and she was thrilled to know she was helping a family succeed.  

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2 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I have given Heifer gifts several times, and they were always well received.  I gave bunnies to a friend who loves rabbits, and she was thrilled to know she was helping a family succeed.  

Same. I like to give beehives. They also teach the art of bee keeping along with the starter hive. They have many choices of what and where to give. Agree it can be a great gift especially for the people that actually receive what you choose. 

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On 5/15/2025 at 9:16 AM, lookeyloo said:

Those are too funny.  I was talking to the granddaughter on Mother's Day.  She is almost 22 now.  I always remind her to use sunscreen.  Once when she was about 4 she was sitting on my lap and said "Grandma, why is your neck crumpled?".  I said "when you are a Grandma your neck will be crumpled too, unless you use sunscreen".  Of course who knows.  But anyway, back then twentyish years ago she said that.  Fast Forward...  

My grandson asked me what are those lines on my face.

"Those are wrinkles!"

"Why so MANY, Grandma? Did you put your face in the bathtub for a long time?"

 

I COULD feel self-conscious about how he notices all my faults, but then I think about how he only notices because he loves looking at me. I also think.... now THIS is funny, not those dumb #sayingsofspurgeon  !!!!

 

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17 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

So I am facing a total knee replacement in the near future. I have osteoarthritis as well as a torn meniscus on both sides. I am both terrified of the surgery/recovery and wishing it was today. I have been going to PT twice a week for pre-hab. Any tips/advice?

I have a new hip from 2009. I understand these are less strenuous than a knee replacement.  When my friend had knee replacement back about 15 years ago, one at a time. I went over every day to encourage her to do the exercises.  She had at home physical therapy.  I am guessing all these procedures have come a long way, so I will say, do what they tell you even if you don't want to.  My surgeon told me I would forget I had a new hip.  But, I remember every time I take a normal step that doesn't hurt.  Which is all of them.  My friend feels that way too.  I am hoping you will too.

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(edited)

I agree with @lookeyloo

Do everything they suggest. When they tell you to elevate, get those legs up. Do all of the exercises as suggested; not just when the physical therapist is there. Do not overdo lest it sets you back. Keep the pace steady, but always moving forward. Remember nothing will magically happen overnight. You will have to work for the best results. Be kind to yourself. It’s normal to be scared. Hugs and best wishes ahead. 

Edited by Mindthinkr
Fixed a mistake
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10 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I agree with @lookeyloo

Do everything they suggest. When they tell you to elevate, get those legs up. Do all of the exercises as suggested; not just when the physical therapist is there. Do. Ot overdo lest it sets you back. Keep the pace steady, but always moving forward. Remember nothing will magically happen overnight. You will have to work for the best results. Be kind to yourself. It’s normal to be scared. Hugs and best wishes ahead. 

@Westiepeach - my sister-in-law has had both knees replaced in her 70s (one at a time) so she could keep skiing. She was in terrible pain prior to her first surgery and could barely walk. She's so happy she had it done and feels much, much better. She does everything she wants to do now, with no restrictions. I want that for you too. She followed her doctor's orders to a "t". Best of luck to you! Keep us posted when you have it done. ♥️

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20 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Same. I like to give beehives. They also teach the art of bee keeping along with the starter hive. They have many choices of what and where to give. Agree it can be a great gift especially for the people that actually receive what you choose. 

I wish it was not so difficult and expensive to keep hives healthy these days, though ...We have kept bees over the last eight years, and are well-to-do enough to be able to afford the supplemental sugar, pollen, mite control, and remedies for who knows how many other issues might come up. Maybe Heifer also allows for some of those things? We typically try to maintain six or seven hives, but it's rare to get through an entire season without losing at least half of them. This past season has been awful, and they have still not identified exactly what the cause was, but beekeepers lost something like 89% of their hives over the winter. We lost all ours, and had to start from scratch yet again. That's an investment of probably $300 or $400 just for initial setup (I'm not sure exactly; the bees are mostly Mr. Jyn's project). Maybe in warmer climates surviving the winter is not so much of a challenge, but bees are still dying at ever-increasing rates all over the world. I'll have to look up some of Heifer's follow-up support policies, though, because hives need to be protected as much as possible, and they do seem to be a great organization from what I have seen.

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On 5/17/2025 at 5:23 PM, Westiepeach said:

So I am facing a total knee replacement in the near future. I have osteoarthritis as well as a torn meniscus on both sides. I am both terrified of the surgery/recovery and wishing it was today. I have been going to PT twice a week for pre-hab. Any tips/advice?

I just had my right hip replaced last week.  I have won joint replacement bingo since I now have the matching 4 piece set. Yay, me!!!  Hips are way easier than knees.

Knee replacement just takes more out of you and the rehab is more complicated.   With a hip, you mainly have to keep it in proper alignment so the joint doesn't dislocate until all the muscle and supportive tissue that they cut through in the surgery heals.  With the knee, you actually have to work to get range of motion in the new joint.

Do the exercises, even if they seem dumb or repetitive.  I got both written and a phone app which contained the basic exercises and did them exactly as instructed.  Ice the joint, especially the knee, religiously for the first few weeks, it makes a huge difference in pain management.  Some people like 'ice machines'; I preferred the gel packs that close with velcro.  Both available on Amazon, get a couple of gel packs so one can be chilling while the other is on the joint.

The pain is much better controlled if when over the counter meds are alternated and narcotics used to fill in when pain worsens. I'm 6 days postop and have taken a single narcotic tablet in the past 24 hours and am in far less pain than I was preop.  It gets better day by day though and is very much worth it in the end.

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(edited)
On 5/18/2025 at 10:21 AM, Jynnan tonnix said:

I wish it was not so difficult and expensive to keep hives healthy these days, though ...We have kept bees over the last eight years, and are well-to-do enough to be able to afford the supplemental sugar, pollen, mite control, and remedies for who knows how many other issues might come up. Maybe Heifer also allows for some of those things? We typically try to maintain six or seven hives, but it's rare to get through an entire season without losing at least half of them. This past season has been awful, and they have still not identified exactly what the cause was, but beekeepers lost something like 89% of their hives over the winter. We lost all ours, and had to start from scratch yet again. That's an investment of probably $300 or $400 just for initial setup (I'm not sure exactly; the bees are mostly Mr. Jyn's project). Maybe in warmer climates surviving the winter is not so much of a challenge, but bees are still dying at ever-increasing rates all over the world. I'll have to look up some of Heifer's follow-up support policies, though, because hives need to be protected as much as possible, and they do seem to be a great organization from what I have seen.

I've been making donations to Heifer Int'l for years as my siblings' birthday/holiday presents.  They don't need more stuff, it's in line with how we were raised, and I know they support the charity.

Edited by Ancaster
Missed an important "don't".
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There's a discussion on Sweet Fellowship about Jill R's taste in clothes, that led to discussion of stirrup pants and padded shoulders. I hated both! I was also just looking at a Reddit thread about Amanda capris (r/AskWomanOver60) and I've just been trying to find a new pair. Costco had none, which surprised me. My store is back to short shorts, which Jill and I will never wear. 😜 Some suggested the best ones are in thrift shops, where I seldom look at clothes, but I may try. They also suggested Kohl's. I looked at some on Amazon, but because I didn't order right away, the price has gone up. I swear that's what Amazon does! 

I've heard it said that capris don't look good on anyone, but for me they've always been an alternative to shorts. 

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5 hours ago, BetyBee said:

There's a discussion on Sweet Fellowship about Jill R's taste in clothes, that led to discussion of stirrup pants and padded shoulders. I hated both! I was also just looking at a Reddit thread about Amanda capris (r/AskWomanOver60) and I've just been trying to find a new pair. Costco had none, which surprised me. My store is back to short shorts, which Jill and I will never wear. 😜 Some suggested the best ones are in thrift shops, where I seldom look at clothes, but I may try. They also suggested Kohl's. I looked at some on Amazon, but because I didn't order right away, the price has gone up. I swear that's what Amazon does! 

I've heard it said that capris don't look good on anyone, but for me they've always been an alternative to shorts. 

I used to have a pair of stirrup pants that I loved! They had been my mother's back in the day when Mary Tyler Moore wore them on the Dick van Dyke show. I could have worn them in my 20's had they not been ridiculously dated about then, and ended up gaining about 40 lb over the following 20 years... I was down to the size that they fit me when they came back in fashion (about 25 years ago, I guess - I think I had just turned 40), but my weight inched back up again after that (way more than I like to admit to). I don't think  kept them after that, though they still could be stashed away somewhere. I did lose some weight again about 5 years ago, and have been doing pretty well maintaining, but still not quite enough that they would fit me again if I were to find them. Clothes certainly were better quality back in the 60's. 

Capris look horrible on me. My hips and thighs are on the thinner side, but I have really muscular calves (thanks, Dad), and while I don't exactly have thick ankles, they are more of the stocky, peasant variety than otherwise, plus flat feet, and the balance just does not work.

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6 hours ago, BetyBee said:

There's a discussion on Sweet Fellowship about Jill R's taste in clothes, that led to discussion of stirrup pants and padded shoulders. I hated both! I was also just looking at a Reddit thread about Amanda capris (r/AskWomanOver60) and I've just been trying to find a new pair. Costco had none, which surprised me. My store is back to short shorts, which Jill and I will never wear. 😜 Some suggested the best ones are in thrift shops, where I seldom look at clothes, but I may try. They also suggested Kohl's. I looked at some on Amazon, but because I didn't order right away, the price has gone up. I swear that's what Amazon does! 

I've heard it said that capris don't look good on anyone, but for me they've always been an alternative to shorts. 

I am one of those pear shaped people whose hips are significantly larger than my bust.  For that reason, I never minded small shoulder pads as I felt like they balanced my figure a little.  During the '80's, I went full on Working Girl with the huge ones; nowadays, I like the small ones if they happen to come with the top.

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55 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I used to have a pair of stirrup pants that I loved! They had been my mother's back in the day when Mary Tyler Moore wore them on the Dick van Dyke show.

You could probably tell by my avatar that I loved the DVD show. You reminded me of a pair of stirrup pants that my Dad gave my Mom in the 60s. Mom had a cute figure and the pants came with a pretty sweater with a diamond pattern in the front. Mom was so cute and young looking that the paper boy thought she was a kid when she answered the door. It was kind of like an episode of DVD! Mom really did get mistaken as our sister a time or two. Like Jill R. dreams of happening to her!

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4 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I had to look up what are stir rup pants were. basically like leggings? I thought it was like Capri pants.

Screenshot_20250520-133017.Brave.png

Yep, they're close fitting, knit pants with stirrups on the bottom to keep them from creeping up above the ankle.  In the early 60's, we used to call them ski pants (really after-ski pants, they weren't meant for outdoor sports).  The ones in the photo above are a little tighter than most of us wore them, usually with an oversized top.

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On 5/18/2025 at 1:21 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

I wish it was not so difficult and expensive to keep hives healthy these days, though ...We have kept bees over the last eight years, and are well-to-do enough to be able to afford the supplemental sugar, pollen, mite control, and remedies for who knows how many other issues might come up. Maybe Heifer also allows for some of those things? 

Heifer provides the hives and educates the recipients; I expect that management of pests is part of that.  They've got a pretty good track record for sustainability and do keep track of the results of their donations; so, if a lot of the hives were failing, they would know about it and figure out how to remedy any problems.  It's not a one time donation thing; they continue support after the gift is given.

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53 minutes ago, Notabug said:

Heifer provides the hives and educates the recipients; I expect that management of pests is part of that.  They've got a pretty good track record for sustainability and do keep track of the results of their donations; so, if a lot of the hives were failing, they would know about it and figure out how to remedy any problems.  It's not a one time donation thing; they continue support after the gift is given.

Thanks! Good to know. I figured they probably had a pretty good follow-up program since they are such a good organization overall, but hives have been getting constantly harder and harder to maintain over the past 10 years or so, and a lot of backyard keepers like us have given up, as it's just gotten to be so expensive of a hobby. We mostly do it to for the sake of the bees - we don't sell our honey, but give it away to friends, neighbors, family, and sometimes as a sort of tip to any repair/maintenance type people who might be doing some work on our property. If we lose them all again this winter, though, we'll probably end up throwing in the towel as well...

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(edited)
10 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I've heard it said that capris don't look good on anyone, but for me they've always been an alternative to shorts. 

Whether they look "good" on me or not, they look as good or better than the average shopper at Sprouts so I'm happy.  Living in SoCal, I'm in capris 10 months of the year some years.  I'll wear shorts at home, but most shorts are too short for me to be comfortable shopping and running errands.  

Stirrup pants:

image.png.7440d7894c1060fdff09a8a909e4fc06.png

Edited by Absolom
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I was a young person in the 60s and of course had stirrup pants.  Then in the 80s I was a working girl and had shoulder pads.  I am considered "petite" by proportion and I remember when I could find clothes with short enough sleeves, short enough in the waist and short enough in the rise and length of  pants.  Happy days. Petite is a proportion.  They go up to size 16.  

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13 hours ago, Absolom said:

I remember petite shops.  Yeah, that's a long gone concept.  

I remember Petite Sophisticate and now there are Petite sections in some big department stores where I live, but I live near a giant city that is not NYC.  I can still find some things at Costco, Target and yes even Walmart if I want a T-shirt.  But most of them are made for the very young skinny girls so I look for the more boxy ones.  I can cut them off if they are too long because that knit doesn't ravel.

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17 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Late to the party, but I've had surgery on both knees (though no replacements...yet) and my insurance paid for the ice machine for apres surgery. It really helped me so you may want to see if insurance will cover all or some of it.

Ice machines can also be rented.  Usually, there is someone working in the orthopedic surgeon's office who can help with the paperwork and figure out what sorts of assistive devices might be needed postop and work with you and your insurance company to get them.

I got reimbursed for around half of what the ice machine cost by my insurance, thanks to the insurance paperwork person in my doctor's office who submitted the claim for me.

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I'm incredibly lucky to have made it to my 70's with all my original joints. I'm such a wimp, I don't know how those of you who have needed joint replacements coped with (a) the levels of pain and difficulties when the original joint was going bad and (b) all the rehab pain and work after the replacement. I've had close friends and family who've had joint replacements, and I sincerely have mad respect for how they've coped, before and after. I may discover before long whether I'm really a wimp or perhaps made of sterner stuff-  because I seem to be developing some arthritis in one hip. It ain't fun.

Sending everyone good vibes and wishes for a nice weekend. I'm wrapping up an 8 day house and pet sitting gig tomorrow. All the dog and cat love I can handle. And a lot of their hair on everything. 😅

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(edited)

To any Britbox watchers here, I highly recommend two new shows this year.  The first one I really enjoyed is "Ludwig" with David Mitchel, who also wrote the script.  It is a very interesting and puzzling detective show.  He is actually a puzzle writer who ends up solving crimes when people assume he is a detective.  Great and unique plot for a series.  I am so happy it has been renewed for a second season.

The second one that I am totally intrigued by is "I, Jack Wright".  All six episodes have dropped, and I am so intrigued.  This is an amazing and interesting show.  Talk about a dysfunctional family!!!!  I haven't heard if/when season 2 will start, but there are so many cliffhangers at the end of the last episode that I NEED a second season.  Both of these shows are well worth the time to watch.

Edited by CalicoKitty
cat is helping me type
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14 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

To any Britbox watchers here, I highly recommend two new shows this year.  The first one I really enjoyed is "Ludwig" with David Mitchel, who also wrote the script.  It is a very interesting and puzzling detective show.  He is actually a puzzle writer who ends up solving crimes when people assume he is a detective.  Great and unique plot for a series.  I am so happy it has been renewed for a second season.

The second one that I am totally intrigued by is "I, Jack Wright".  All six episodes have dropped, and I am so intrigued.  This is an amazing and interesting show.  Talk about a dysfunctional family!!!!  I haven't heard if/when season 2 will start, but there are so many cliffhangers at the end of the last episode that I NEED a second season.  Both of these shows are well worth the time to watch.

Thank you for the suggestions! I may re-up for BritBox, at least to check out those 2 shows! 

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