S05.E05: Self Help

[Rosiejuliemom]

I blame Lori's death not on lack of a hospital, but on her tiny-ginie...the source of her super-power. Oh, the irony.

 

I now have to figure out how to incorporate the phrase "tiny-ginie" into everyday conversation.

 

Dang, kikismom! I am such a city gal.

It always drove me nuts that CDB never took any hybrids. They get better gas mileage and they're quieter.

 

Why take a hybrid when they had the sweet, sweet Hyundai from the future?

[AngelaHunter]

Ooh, here's the perfect vehicle. The Manhattan Trike. The three wheels make it less tiring and TWO baskets to carry their junk (and Judith) around:

 

http://khsbicycles.com/09_trike_3_11.htm

[kikismom]

Ooh, here's the perfect vehicle. The Manhattan Trike. The three wheels make it less tiring and TWO baskets to carry their junk (and Judith) around:

 

http://khsbicycles.com/09_trike_3_11.htm

Can I interest you in a retirement community?

[kikismom]

I now have to figure out how to incorporate the phrase "tiny-ginie" into everyday conversation.

On the other hand, the wonderful Florence King recalled this conversation in her memoirs:

Man: "Honey, I sure would like a little pussy! "

Woman: "So would I--- mine's big as a bucket!"

[Rosiejuliemom]

From in-depth analysis of an action/drama to vagina puns. There is something both beautiful and profound about this, but I'm too drunk to figure out what it is at the moment.

[AngelaHunter]

Man: "Honey, I sure would like a little pussy! "

Woman: "So would I--- mine's big as a bucket!"

 

A fictional character in the book "The Women's Room" (yeah, I know) told that joke, only in his version it was an airline pilot speaking to a stewardess. Oops, am I still allowed to say "Stewardess"?

[PunkyMouse]

A fictional character in the book "The Women's Room" (yeah, I know) told that joke, only in his version it was an airline pilot speaking to a stewardess. Oops, am I still allowed to say "Stewardess"?

The Women's Room??? Somebody's either a Boomer or a Women's Studies major. Or both.

[RedheadZombie]

Cow catchers?? Where on earth do you live?? (I didn't know cars have this!) But yeah, same theory as with snow removers - they are big heavy plates of metal that can push anything heavy out of the way - i.e. Walkers. Chain-link fencing?

 

Speaking of snow removers.  I live in the Atlanta area.  Earlier this year it snowed 1-2 inches.  Everything shut down.  Cars were stranded on the main highways for two days.  Children were stranded at school for days.  Schools shut down for a week.  There are no snow plows and no salt.  They may throw a little sand around.  Since I'm from the Chicago area I remain a little horrified.  If I had warning before a ZA, I'd probably head back to Northern Illinois.

 

You know, if I HAD to go through a ZA, I hope it'll be in Wyoming.  First of all, there are only 12 people who live there.  Secondly,  all they have there are big trucks with snow-plows on the front of them.  I'd be set.  In fact, I might be a little bored.

 

I don't know.  Isn't Dick Cheney there?  He's a pretty bad shot.

 

On the plus side, biking might generate enough of a breeze to rip that fucking hat off Carl's head, so I wish they'd try it...

 

And it would blow the hair out of Daryl's face - bonus.

[kikismom]

A fictional character in the book "The Women's Room" (yeah, I know) told that joke, only in his version it was an airline pilot speaking to a stewardess. Oops, am I still allowed to say "Stewardess"?

Don't tell Florence King, she's already hit Molly Ivers for plagiarizing (and Ivers backed down--smart move!).

King's Southern Ladies and Gentlemen was published in 1975, The Women's Room (Marilyn French) was published 1977.

King is hilarious though. Off-topic, but she would rock the ZA.

Edited November 15, 2014 by kikismom

[ghoulina]

Re-watched last night. How were they listening to music in the short bus? Are we really expected to believe that old thing was equipped with a cd player? We know it can't be the radio.....or can it? Dun dun dun.

[kikismom]

Re-watched last night. How were they listening to music in the short bus? Are we really expected to believe that old thing was equipped with a cd player? We know it can't be the radio.....or can it? Dun dun dun.

Don't know if this is how---probably not---but I first learned about this from my fave BizarreKitchen.com a few years ago. There are a lot of sites that show how; if Eugene "knows things" he would know this.

The real trouble is that nobody is broadcasting.

Except Terminus was.

So someone else could be.

Dun dun dun!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foxhole_radio

[editorgrrl]

How were they listening to music in the short bus? Are we really expected to believe that old thing was equipped with a cd player? We know it can't be the radio.....or can it? Dun dun dun.

The song was "May the Work I've Done Speak for Me." Not sure which version, so maybe it was an 8-track (look it up, kids) or cassette. Classic church bus music.

[EyesGlazed]

I'm all for Sexytimes during a ZA, but what are these people doing for birth control?  Becoming pregnant = huge probability of dying, so presumably people would care about prevention.  There ain't nobody prescribing pills now.  So on their foraging runs, are people grabbing packs of condoms along with the cans of beans and Spam??  I'd actually love to see this.  But I guess we'll never know, because male writers + fantasy series + derived from a comic book means no one's going to address this.  Just sign me Socially Responsible Buzz-Kill.

[JBody]

Ha Irishmaple! Sweet justice. The bike couriers in downtown TO are all crazy as a shithouse rat (I'm not originally from the city and to this day their "badassery" blows my mind).

[NoWillToResist]

True, but bikes can go faster and probably burn fewer calories than on foot.  They can walk the bikes up steep hills and coast down them.  They can probably carry as much on a bike as they can on foot, plus they can get side saddles and other baskets to put on the bikes to carry more.  If a horde shows up and there's no way to outpace the walkers. just jump off the bike and run into the woods until the horde shambles by.

 

I think, in most cases, when they are on a road, they are in a vehicle. They seem to mostly be on foot if they are spending some time among the trees...terrain for which most bicycles would be useless, IMO.

[Mountainair]

A lot of people do go with the IUD method for birth control. Depending on which one you get its good for 5-10 years.

Now, it doesn't protect against STD's but should a zombie apocalypse happen tonight, I personally, won't have to worry about being knocked up for five more years :)

[kikismom]

A lot of people do go with the IUD method for birth control. Depending on which one you get its good for 5-10 years.

Now, it doesn't protect against STD's but should a zombie apocalypse happen tonight, I personally, won't have to worry about being knocked up for five more years :)

In a ZA it might outlast you! :-)

[AngelaHunter]

I personally, won't have to worry about being knocked up for five more years :)

 

If you even think you might get knocked up, just make a run to a pharmacy and get those pills, you know, the ones that have "MORNING AFTER PILL" in big giant letters so you can't miss it!

[PunkyMouse]

If you even think you might get knocked up, just make a run to a pharmacy and get those pills, you know, the ones that have "MORNING AFTER PILL" in big giant letters so you can't miss it!

 

Unless you're Lori and don't know that you have to use the morning after pill THE MORNING AFTER NOT A MONTH LATER!!! 

[Portia]

A lot of people who have already had all the children they want to have undergo a little elective surgery to put an end to babymaking. I would imagine those people might be considered better "relationship material" in the ZA, though we're back to the problem of taking their word for it. 

Edited November 15, 2014 by Portia

[ghoulina]

I have an IUD as well. No worries for another 7 years. I've always said, at the first sign of any type of apocalypse, girls should flock to their OBs and have an IUD put in.

[Watcher0363]

Full disclosure here I am a male. So some of the dual Xer's may have to forgive my post. Knowing modern US women. I believe that long before they think to scavenge for condoms they would think of tampons first, then those pads, then maybe condoms. The men would also think that way, just think of all the women in your group with their menstrual cycles in sync. A road trip through heavy walker territory would be lets say, awful smelly and kind of dangerous, having to stop so often or just rolling with the leakage. Given the state of modern tampon commercials, I believe leakage is a problem during heavy physical activity, when menstruating. Kick a walker-- leak a little, stab a walker in the head-- leak a little, stump a walker in the head-- leak a little. Then damn, no clean panties anywhere.

 

Elaine of Seinfeld comes to mind. She was force to decide if a man was sponge worthy are not. I would imagine a man in the ZA with a horde of tampons would have the power to decide which women were tampon worthy. Oh the power of such a small thing.

[CarpeDiem54]

I have an IUD as well. No worries for another 7 years. I've always said, at the first sign of any type of apocalypse, girls should flock to their OBs and have an IUD put in.

Unless you have a problem with it (I used them for many, many years) and had to have my last one surgically removed.  Then you're screwed.  I went for the elective surgery myself.  Hell, if I was still in my child bearing years, I'd head for my OB/GYN and get a hysterectomy at the first sign of a ZA.  It would eliminate the problems that Watcher3063 mentions.

 

Of course, at my age, I'm now worried where I could get some Depends.  ;-)

[GreyBunny]

^ Plus increased cramps, heavier flow, risk of puncture and infections.  Even with the hormonal IUDs that are supposed to reduce some of those side effects, there could be complications.  I have enough trouble with cramps (ugh), I don't want to make things worse.  I'm a pill girl, and unlike Lori and apparently the rest of CDB I actually know how they work.
 

I have an IUD as well. No worries for another 7 years. I've always said, at the first sign of any type of apocalypse, girls should flock to their OBs and have an IUD put in.

 

But after 5-10 years that thing needs to come out.  If I survive that long and there are no OBs in the new world, I don't want to think about that thing being left in indefinitely.

No thanks, I'll pass. :)

Edited November 15, 2014 by GreyBunny

[kikismom]

Knowing modern US women. I believe that long before they think to scavenge for condoms they would think of tampons first, then those pads, then maybe condoms.

No offense, but if you knew women, you'd realize that if they don't get the condoms first they won't need tampons.

 

 The men would also think that way, just think of all the women in your group with their menstrual cycles in sync. A road trip through heavy walker territory would be lets say, awful smelly

Why? Are the women in your group not changing tampons for 2 weeks at a time?

 

Given the state of modern tampon commercials, I believe leakage is a problem during heavy physical activity, when menstruating. Kick a walker-- leak a little, stab a walker in the head-- leak a little, stump a walker in the head-- leak a little. Then damn, no clean panties anywhere.

 

That would not be the case if tampon commercials want to advertise it; the commercials are implying that rival brands leak. Their brand doesn't during heavy physical activity...which is why the ads show people doing gymnastics etc.

Edited November 16, 2014 by kikismom

[Emily Thrace]

I have an IUD as well. No worries for another 7 years. I've always said, at the first sign of any type of apocalypse, girls should flock to their OBs and have an IUD put in.

The trouble with that is they need to be inserted carefully by a medical proffessional in a sterile environment .Otherwise they can cause nasty complications, and even death if you truly screw up (two words: perforated uterus). Implanalon and implants like it are less risky plus they contain progesterone which actually reduces flow. Plus in North America they come with their own insertion needle specifically to make insertion idiot proof. In a world where OB/Gyns are few and far between thats a definite advantage.

[nodorothyparker]

A road trip through heavy walker territory would be lets say, awful smelly and kind of dangerous, having to stop so often or just rolling with the leakage. Given the state of modern tampon commercials, I believe leakage is a problem during heavy physical activity, when menstruating. Kick a walker-- leak a little, stab a walker in the head-- leak a little, stump a walker in the head-- leak a little. Then damn, no clean panties anywhere.

As opposed to the low danger level and gore and perfectly pleasant aroma we've seen around large numbers of walkers now?  Pretty sure that ship has sailed.

 

Tampon commercials' entire objective is to convince you to buy their particular product as being superior at preventing leaks and mess.  Lots of women manage to lead very active lives for years without leaving a trail behind them or becoming a gross biohazard site.  My hunch is that hygiene products would probably be one of the easier items to scavenge, especially for a group on foot only taking what they could carry, and if they can find water to regularly wash up they're probably going to be all right in this too. 

 

My other hunch is that given the state of their clothes, there probably aren't a lot of clean underwear between any of them.  But it's probably best not to think too much about that.

[Rosiejuliemom]

A lot of people who have already had all the children they want to have undergo a little elective surgery to put an end to babymaking. I would imagine those people might be considered better "relationship material" in the ZA, though we're back to the problem of taking their word for it. 

 

Been there, done that, got the scar to prove it. Of course, there is an increased risk for ectopic pregnancy with tubal sterilization which is extremely dangerous under normal circumstances. I'd imagine that if that situation arose in the ZA, you're pretty well fucked.

 

Full disclosure here I am a male. So some of the dual Xer's may have to forgive my post. Knowing modern US women. I believe that long before they think to scavenge for condoms they would think of tampons first, then those pads, then maybe condoms. The men would also think that way, just think of all the women in your group with their menstrual cycles in sync. A road trip through heavy walker territory would be lets say, awful smelly and kind of dangerous, having to stop so often or just rolling with the leakage. Given the state of modern tampon commercials, I believe leakage is a problem during heavy physical activity, when menstruating. Kick a walker-- leak a little, stab a walker in the head-- leak a little, stump a walker in the head-- leak a little. Then damn, no clean panties anywhere.

 

Elaine of Seinfeld comes to mind. She was force to decide if a man was sponge worthy are not. I would imagine a man in the ZA with a horde of tampons would have the power to decide which women were tampon worthy. Oh the power of such a small thing.

 

It's really not that bad under normal circumstances. Plus, I'd imagine the ZA would lead to malnutrition and enough stress in most women to bring their menstrual cycles to a screeching halt. On a related note, the prospect of not being able to wash my drawers or find clean pairs is almost as bad as the thought of flesh-eating zombies. Now, I'm going to start stocking up on underpants the way some of ya'll will be hoarding toilet paper. 

[Watcher0363]

There are women all over the world who get along without tampons or pads. They are just a western modern convenience. That is why I said modern US women. Also given all the factors needed to get pregnant, health of both partners, nutrition, 3 day window of opportunity. Plus the biggie. It is not like all enjoyable sex involves a risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy would probably be rare.

 

Rosiejuliemom I am with you on one thing. The one thing I would have strapped to my body at all times would be a ziploc bag with two pairs of underwear and another bag with dry detergent. When I say strapped to my body I mean strapped to my body. Any time I got some water I would wash my socks and a pair of underwear. You know take one of those gallon ziploc bags fill it with water and a small amount of detergent and wash those things.

Edited November 16, 2014 by Watcher0363

[CarpeDiem54]

Now, I'm going to start stocking up on underpants the way some of ya'll will be hoarding toilet paper. 

I'll be the one with a semi-truck full of TP and Depends.  Disposable underwear!  Yeah, that's the ticket.

 

I may have to have a few cases of anti-perspirant/deodorant, too.  And Wet Wipes.  I can't stand clammy stinky pits.

 

I guess when I starve to death (since I won't have room in my truck for food) you guys can have my paper products.

[Nashville]

Plus the biggie. It is not like all enjoyable sex involves a risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy would probably be rare.

 

That's not what they taught us in high school.  ;>

[Rosiejuliemom]

I'll be the one with a semi-truck full of TP and Depends.  Disposable underwear!  Yeah, that's the ticket.

 

I may have to have a few cases of anti-perspirant/deodorant, too.  And Wet Wipes.  I can't stand clammy stinky pits.

 

I guess when I starve to death (since I won't have room in my truck for food) you guys can have my paper products.

 

This is how we'll survive. Barter basic comfort items for food and ammunition. One stick of deodorant equals one jar of peanut butter and a sleeve of stale saltines or 22 bullets. Now I need to get cases of instant coffee...

[nodorothyparker]

I'll be the one with a semi-truck full of TP and Depends.  Disposable underwear!  Yeah, that's the ticket.

 

I may have to have a few cases of anti-perspirant/deodorant, too.  And Wet Wipes.  I can't stand clammy stinky pits.

Baby wipes.  I'm stealing them by the truckload if I ever have to live without running water.  They're of course nowhere near as good as a shower but there's almost nothing they can't make feel and smell cleaner.

[CarpeDiem54]

I guess we need to have a convoy of semi-trucks.  One could be full of food, one full of TP, one full of other hygiene products (Walgreens has great wipes, BTW), one full of ammunition, etc.

 

We could circle our trucks in the woods someplace,  fill in the gaps with stacks of tires that we've hoarded and have a nice little camp in the middle.  Kind of a trashy trailer park Woodbury.

[kikismom]

You know I've printed this before on the ZA Survival thread but...sigh...everyone laughs at the Forager Queen until they need TP.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCAQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.google.com%2Fnewspapers%3Fnid%3D1817%26dat%3D19901115%26id%3DZDYdAAAAIBAJ%26sjid%3DtaUEAAAAIBAJ%26pg%3D5266%2C3831401&ei=gwpoVKj_IoSigwTAuoTgAQ&usg=AFQjCNEkkdjw7nzGo-598JSQiBvrR0n6AA&sig2=Qp_fY4xE_aoMLolphzWvEQ&bvm=bv.79142246,d.eXY

Edited November 16, 2014 by kikismom

[Rosiejuliemom]

I guess we need to have a convoy of semi-trucks.  One could be full of food, one full of TP, one full of other hygiene products (Walgreens has great wipes, BTW), one full of ammunition, etc.

 

We could circle our trucks in the woods someplace,  fill in the gaps with stacks of tires that we've hoarded and have a nice little camp in the middle.  Kind of a trashy trailer park Woodbury.

 

As long as we don't have a cut-rate Katniss guarding the perimeter, I'm in.

[CarpeDiem54]

You know I've printed this before on the ZA Survival thread but...sigh...everyone laughs at the Forager Queen until they need TP.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCAQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.google.com%2Fnewspapers%3Fnid%3D1817%26dat%3D19901115%26id%3DZDYdAAAAIBAJ%26sjid%3DtaUEAAAAIBAJ%26pg%3D5266%2C3831401&ei=gwpoVKj_IoSigwTAuoTgAQ&usg=AFQjCNEkkdjw7nzGo-598JSQiBvrR0n6AA&sig2=Qp_fY4xE_aoMLolphzWvEQ&bvm=bv.79142246,d.eXY

My kind of woman!

As long as we don't have a cut-rate Katniss guarding the perimeter, I'm in.

Oh, hell, no!  It will be one of us hardy souls.  I elect kikismom as head of the Survival Committee.

[kikismom]

My kind of woman!

Oh, hell, no!  It will be one of us hardy souls.  I elect kikismom as head of the Survival Committee.

 

People will say anything to get their hands on my toilet paper when the world goes to sh#t.!

 

see people could be doing this instead of, oh, making lady-bug art!https://www.haikudeck.com/kudzu-education-presentation-L06fFJ64bh

Edited November 16, 2014 by kikismom

[CarpeDiem54]

People will say anything to get their hands on my toilet paper when the world goes to sh#t.!

 

see people could be doing this instead of, oh, making lady-bug art!https://www.haikudeck.com/kudzu-education-presentation-L06fFJ64bh

Hey, I just got a 60 unit case of Angel Soft.  I'm not trying to steal your TP!

 

Well, my backyard is covered in snow and it's a broiling 9 degrees out.  No kudzu out there.  At least the walkers are frozen.

[RedheadZombie]

Re-watched last night. How were they listening to music in the short bus? Are we really expected to believe that old thing was equipped with a cd player? We know it can't be the radio.....or can it? Dun dun dun.

 

And why were they listening to the radio last season when they heard the Terminus message?  It would drive me crazy driving around blasting radio static.  It wasn't like they were deliberately checking for a message, right?

 

Regarding sex and birth control during the ZA.  Knowing what happened to Lori would probably be my birth control.   My problem is that I'm a nurse, and besides the pregnancy risk and the generally poor hygiene, I would be thinking of the UTI women commonly get with a new sexual partner.  I think going without is a lot more tolerable than an untreated UTI. But let's say we're surrounded and I know there's a pretty good chance I'm going to die, I would definitely go for the last hurrah. 

Edited November 16, 2014 by RedheadZombie

[AngelaHunter]

I think going without is a lot more tolerable than an untreated UTI.

 

Untreated UTI - perish the thought. Either  do without, or make sure you find guys who are hung like peanuts...on second thought, what would be the point?XD

[kikismom]

Hey, I just got a 60 unit case of Angel Soft.

60 unit case? Wow---you're no amateur!

[CarpeDiem54]

60 unit case? Wow---you're no amateur!

And I'm a one person household. I don't mess around when it comes to TP.

[Bruinsfan]

Well, it's not as if you're going to decide you have no use for the stuff at some later point. If I didn't have limited storage space and cats that regard Charmin as the most fun toy ever, I'd buy it by the pallet-load direct from Proctor & Gamble.

[kikismom]

Are we off topic?

Edited November 16, 2014 by kikismom

[NoWillToResist]

Are we off topic?

 

Let's make it topical: do we think Abe and his gang used the library books as toilet paper? ;)

 

When would they have last had an opportunity to use paper to wipe rather than leaves?

Edited November 16, 2014 by NoWillToResist

[kikismom]

Let's make it topical: do we think Abe and his gang used the library books as toilet paper? ;)

 

When would they have last had an opportunity to use paper to wipe rather than leaves?

At St.Sissypants church.

Remember: I've got some Good News for Modern Man; would you like Genesis...or does Exodus seem more appropriate?

Edited November 16, 2014 by kikismom

[GreyBunny]

Are we off topic?

 

Yes, to a hilarious degree, but I've enjoyed the odd detours.  Nice way to fill out the thread until the next episode.

 

Oh, and another Z Nation comparison:  CDB has been stomping around in the same teeny little circle for five seasons.  Meanwhile season 1 of Z-N took them from New York to South Dakota and they're still traveling.  At least they're getting somewhere.

 

 

Let's make it topical: do we think Abe and his gang used the library books as toilet paper? ;)

 

When would they have last had an opportunity to use paper to wipe rather than leaves?

 

And was Eugene watching?  Sorry, couldn't resist.  (Not sorry.)

[Mountainair]

Just one more mention of the IUD. I do hate the idea of the apocalypse outlasting my IUD but I have seen, on a reality show no less, someone actually remove their own IUD. Not something I would want to do but I guess it is possible.

But again, I'm really ok not having sex until the whole thing blows over. No thanks, I'm good.

[Rosiejuliemom]

And was Eugene watching?  Sorry, couldn't resist.  (Not sorry.)

 

Eugene is always watching. I guess since we lost the gentle, wise, Father Christmas in Hershel, we had to gain the creepy, stalker Santa in Eugene.

Edited November 16, 2014 by Rosiejuliemom