S11.E03: Got To Be Real

[Coxfires]

Thanks! I'm French and sometimes the combination of actors talking too fast with the music that they tend to turn up far too loud on Grey's is too much for me to get everything

[mojito]

 

Thanks! I'm French and sometimes the combination of actors talking too fast with the music that they tend to turn up far too loud on Grey's is too much for me to get everything

Native English speaker here. I watch this show with Closed Captioning on. Then I don't miss anything. There's so much chaotic dialogue on some of these shows, which, mixed in with the unnecessary music, makes deciphering hard on all of us.

[Katenotplus8]

I would really like the writers to give Alex the fellowship with Dr. Herman and the in utero surgeries.  Anyone remember when Alex was doing ob with Addison?  I would love to see Alex as double board certified and have something actually go right for him!  I also wish that Arizona and Derek would have died in the plane crash and not Lexi and Mark.  As for the board seat, I think the Bailey of the past (seasons 1-2) would have been perfect for it.  This Bailey isn't right for it.  I'm not convinced Alex is either.  Could have been interesting if they would have given it to Ben, Bailey's husband though.  Competent anesthesiologist gone surgical resident, now board member, could be interesting.

Edited October 14, 2014 by Katenotplus8

[choclatechip45]

I don't think it's fair to blame the Staph infection on Bailey. It was really the gloves fault and the boards fault for not changing protocol when they took over. I do agree she did not handle it great.

[kingshearte]

They both have strengths, and if Bailey had gotten her seat on the board and not acted like Alex was no competition all episode, I wouldn't have been nearly annoyed. 

Agreed. She (or at least, early season she, as someone else pointed out) would probably make a better board member than Alex would, but for her to act like she deserves it so much more than he does that he's not even worth her notice made her absolutely insufferable. She's always had a pretty awesome level of self-confidence (much like Cristina, really), but it's really gone from being justified by her actual level of awesomeness to just being supremely full of herself. It's really too bad.

[Chewy101]

I just rewatched Meredith & Derek's scene, and Derek and Dr. PsychoSister's scene and what neither of them care to see that as much as they're annoyed and upset, Derek is in such pain.

 

 

My problem here with this is Derek's way of handling pain. Most people in pain hurt, yes, and even lash out if pushed too hard. But Derek in pain inflicts his pain on others intentionally. He spreads it around and justifies it with his lame excuses. He is a mean wretched brat when he hurts. He is self serving and petty at the same time. One or the other I can deal with, but the combo makes him unbearable for me. I am a huge Patrick Dempsey fan, but this character? He should have died when he was shot. Dead Derick in Meredith's memories would have been a better man.

 

I doubt Bailey won the board seat because they found something specifically wrong with Alex (That he made a huge mistake somewhere.) I am guessing they voted for Bailey because the characters were not yet clued in that Bailey is not the sun anymore and we lost interest in her success awhile ago, or they are afraid of what she will do to them on a daily basis if she did NOT get the seat, when they only got the seats themselves for being on a plane or being an Avery.The whole thing is crap. No one is qualified, and Alex not being a part of that circus is probably a good thing. 

 

I am not worried. Alex will likely end up with it one way or the other anyway. Let him actually earn his success. He is The Man!

[candall]

I don't remember word for word, but he says something like: "I gave up the brain mapping so you could play hooky and get drunk with your friends? That's why I stayed in Seattle?"

Maybe this is heresy, but I did a doubletake when Meredith said her job was just as important as Derek's.  Hello?  If Derek has the skillset to be The Doctor Who Cures Alzheimer's, that job trumps general surgeon at Seattle Grey Mercy Death by any measure--trumps almost anything.

 

In fact, if this were a real life doctor with the possible answer to Alzheimer's, I wouldn't hesitate to say it's incumbent on him to get his butt to DC and start mapping, no matter how big the personal sacrifice.  Ditto the wife, kids, dog and the rest of the family tree, if that's what it took.

 

No mention of the imbalance re "Too bad about those millions of devastated families, but at least I still get to see how cute Zola is when she wakes up in the morning."  More questionable writing.

[oceanblue]

I agree with that.  But I can also see where Meredith is coming from.  She saw her parents marriage devastated by one person's career eclipsing the other.  It led to hatred, and her without a dad.  She's trying to stick up for herself and the whole family - the micro view - but she has no role models in how to do it well.  I think anyone would agree it's hard to do in real life, and it's impossible on this show.  The problems of this family don't matter a lot in the macro view of people facing Alzheimer's, but I can see where she's coming from.

[PrincessTT]

The problem with Meredith being the sun and saying that her job is as important as Derek's is that he was already one of the world's best neurosurgeons when she got involved with him... She knew what she was getting into with regards to his career eclipsing hers and she did it anyway.

 

When you decide to marry someone so in demand in their career while you are still at a more junior level in yours then surely you factor in the possibility of uprooting and moving where your spouses career leads to.

[LakeLover]

The problem with Meredith being the sun and saying that her job is as important as Derek's is that he was already one of the world's best neurosurgeons when she got involved with him... She knew what she was getting into with regards to his career eclipsing hers and she did it anyway.

 

When you decide to marry someone so in demand in their career while you are still at a more junior level in yours then surely you factor in the possibility of uprooting and moving where your spouses career leads to.

 

I totally agree. Derek isn't perfect, but she knew who he was and how great he was, USED his skill as "one of about 20 people in the world" who could save Izzy, and told him if he weren't a surgeon and walked away from his gift. I think she is still stung from what Cristina said about her last year, and she assumes Derek shares Cristina's view. He was right, at this point, his career is more important. Just as she was jealous of Cristina, she's jealous of her husband.

 

And that "I am the sun" crap has got to go.

[CleoCaesar]

And that "I am the sun" crap has got to go.

 

Word. Not to mention it doesn't even make sense - if she truly believes herself to be the sun, then she should be glad that McDreamy bowed down and sacrificed a major opportunity for her. She clearly didn't want him to do it, so does that mean she isn't the sun? Either way, shut up, Mer.

 

Damn I'm actually kind of looking forward to the next episode to see how they address this. I'm guessing with McDreamy being verbally vicious as always, Meredith rolling over, and lots of "you don't get to"s and screaming repetitive phrases.

[windsprints]

I love Cristina but she made a piss poor choice of words in giving her parting speech. When hasn't Meredith been "the sun" in the marriage other than Derek accepting a once in a lifetime opportunity? Derek can get pissy but he's never been "the sun" He had to have her friends in his bed. He had to live with her friends. He declined the chief job the first time to have more time with her. He lost his clinical trial. He gave up the job at Harvard because she wanted to stay in Seattle. So yes, she would have to hire a nanny and some household help to accommodate his opportunity and to work more hours, but its a completely manageable situation. She's never had any issue with her kids being in daycare or other people watching them.  There should be no "sun" in a marriage anyway. It shouldn't revolve around either person, there's a whole family to consider now.

 

she's jealous of her husband.

 

Seems that way.

 

I'm guessing with McDreamy being verbally vicious as always, Meredith rolling over, and lots of "you don't get to"s and screaming repetitive phrases

 

I think he will go to DC (briefly) unless there is some big drama to have him not go.

Edited October 16, 2014 by windsprints

[oceanblue]

If Meredith takes a secondary role, what are the chances she could ever be a surgeon at Derek's level?  And she didn't say he couldn't go, she said she wouldn't, and was willing to take primary responsibility for the kids while he went.  Derek was initially going to take primary kid role so she had her chance to be whoever she is.  I don't think either is really wrong here.  

 

I also think that what Christina was trying to say, and I agree it was worded badly, is that Meredith should not drop her research and go as if Derek were the sun and it was assumed that Meredith was automatically secondary to him.  I don't think Christina meant that the world revolved around Meredith.  

[CleoCaesar]

There should be no "sun" in a marriage anyway. It shouldn't revolve around either person, there's a whole family to consider now.

 

Yeah...I kind of hope they mention this at some point. I swear, it's like watching a bunch of middle schoolers play house. Don't these people have any idea of what a functioning marriage should look like? And not to mention, the whole "Meredith, you are the sun" thing was uttered by Cristina, who is not exactly an expert at marriage and long-term relationships herself. Consider the source, Mer! (I love Cristina anyway.)

[RealityCowgirl]

I'm in a comparable two-career marriage. I know, all too well, the challenges and sacrifices required (and the compromises where neither is actually happy). Here's my problem with this scenario, and characterization more generally: I've always felt that they've done more telling than showing with Meredith. The whole "you are the sun" thing left me laughing and perplexed. Competent, yes. Promising? Sure. I suppose. (The case for her getting time to focus and build her career could be more compelling than they've made it.) The sun? Not what they've *shown* this viewer. To me, that's a failure of storytelling and characterization.

I have no pony in this race. (To be honest, These two have bored me since the pilot.) I can't really say I care who "wins" this epic battle *as it is being played out.* They haven't given me a reason to care.

They also haven't convinced me that the options they really have are limited to the options they think they have, which takes me out of the story. Not exactly creative problem solvers outside of the OR, are they? Again, character and storytelling miss.

Edited October 16, 2014 by RealityCowgirl

[proserpina65]

Owen kills me. I adore Kevin McKidd, and I think that makes me feel like I like Owen, but I find myself so irritated with him and his behaviour so often that I have to stop and ask myself why am I rooting for this guy? It's all Kevin McKidd - and the chemistry he had with Sandra Oh that made me want them to work out so badly, despite their appalling dysfunctionality. But then, just when I think I'm officially over and done with him, he pulls out a scene like his Cristina monologue that breaks my heart and I love him all over again, even though the stunt he had just pulled with Callie was complete and utter BS. I'm coming to the realization, though, that McKidd is one of those actors that I will watch whatever he's on, no matter how awful it is, as long as he's on it.

 

Wow, this pretty much sums up my frustration with Owen, both in general and in this specific episode, perfectly!  I was so annoyed with him early on, what with tricking Callie into helping with the project and the whole yelling in the hallway (again) thing.  Then came the speech about Cristina, and the fact he was actually talking to someone besides Dr. Wyatt about his feelings, and I couldn't stop watching.  Between Kevin McKidd and Justin Chambers, I just can't quit this show, no matter how hard I try.

[CED9]

Wow, this pretty much sums up my frustration with Owen, both in general and in this specific episode, perfectly! I was so annoyed with him early on, what with tricking Callie into helping with the project and the whole yelling in the hallway (again) thing. Then came the speech about Cristina, and the fact he was actually talking to someone besides Dr. Wyatt about his feelings, and I couldn't stop watching. Between Kevin McKidd and Justin Chambers, I just can't quit this show, no matter how hard I try.

They haven't given me a good reason Owen stayed. Not that he should've gone off with Yang, but he could've done something else. (MEDCOM or something) Up until this Pierce thing, I felt the same way about Weber, and the poor girl who plays Stephanie just sits around twiddling her thumbs.

In a lot of ways, I prefer the pacing of this season to the last couple where there were just bits of SLs every episode, but in other ways I can't put my finger on where this season is going.

[LADreamr]

The thing that bothered me the most about the episode was that it was just so poorly written and directed.  They had a lot of good stuff to work with, but the execution was terrible, and completely took me out of the story.  Had there been more care taken with it, it could have actually been very good.  

[MilkMachine]

I think this is the worst episode yet. It’s one that makes me want to throw in the towel.

 

Meredith Grey has become the most unlikeable character on television. I don’t have to like every character, and I like complex characters even when they make frustrating decisions. Meredith just makes me want to pitch things at my screen. Me, me, me. “I’m the sun.” (She can blame that on the liquor but I don’t doubt for a minute that she believes that.) Wallowing all over Alex’s house like she still owns it and making Jo rightfully uncomfortable. Even though Jo is annoying, she does live there and I can’t imagine somebody biting my head off and being such a bitch to me in my own home the way Meredith did to her. She was a horrible friend to Alex and completely dismissive of what was going on in his life, which he spelled out to her was pretty freaking huge. I couldn’t freaking BELIEVE she invited Richard over and started screaming in his face because he waited a whole week to tell her. I hope that all of this is supposed to be evidence that Meredith is spinning out of control and about to get her comeuppance, although I doubt it.

 

Derek’s assiness to his sister was also uncalled for, although at least towards the end of the episode he seemed to show some self-awareness, perhaps because his sister wouldn’t back down and forced him to. I don’t doubt that he is the better surgeon (based on the mythology of the show--I’m no judge of surgical expertise, fictional or otherwise) but he made the choice to leave his department chair when he got involved in that Washington thing, and he has to live with that choice and the choice he made to stay home. Speaking of, I’m also (not) looking forward to the resolution of “I chose my family” and “I didn’t ask you to.” That whole debate is not making a lot of sense to me, mostly because the supporting evidence per Mer is “I’m a good surgeon, too!” which seems like kind of a moot point because his decision to stay is just kind of...another topic? Mer didn’t tell Der about her latest sister. They pretty much hate each other, I think.

 

I actually like Maggie, and her outburst seemed completely out of character and out of left field. Like really, I think they just threw it in there to try to demonstrate that she has an asshole streak and therefore a connection to Mer. “I thought you were my father, but you didn’t tell me within the first thirty seconds of our meeting! Anybody who waits a WHOLE WEEK [to maybe sit down and process the news for himself, since it’s kind of a big deal?] must be someone who hates me and never wanted me!!!!” (paraphrase) Oooookay. What a jerk for him to be a friend to her all week and support her as a new staff member and praise her surgical skills, all the while waiting for the appropriate time to drop a bomb about her parentage. How dare he.

 

Back to “I’m the sun.” I thought I might have missed my chance to comment on this when I didn’t last season, but it keeps coming up this season so here goes. I really hate that phrase. Hate it. It’s not surprising coming from Yang but I think it’s some pretty rotten friend-advice. The fact is, not one of us is the sun and I don’t think it helps Meredith to walk around thinking she is. It is leading Meredith to feel frustrated and disappointed when the evidence suggests that, in fact, the world does NOT revolve around her. If anything we are all tiny specks of sand on a giant beach and knowing that might help Meredith feel more content with her life. I know that Christina was specifically talking about Meredith’s marriage, but I feel like the characters on this show often apply their sun-ness across the board. And arguably it’s even worse advice for Meredith’s marriage. I wouldn’t want to be in a marriage where one partner was the sun, even if that partner was me.

BTW, fat chance the hospital had scanned records of an ER visit from 1983, but whatevs.

[Starscream]

 Totally agree, she sucks but how can she fall? She's killed patients with the staph infection and given a child HIV to "cure" him with full knowledge that she didn't have parental consent.  Alex may have left the hospital but I don't think he's had enough story line to actually kill patients. Perhaps, but I don't recall it at the moment.

He killed Booger with a dosage error way back when.  Or did he just turn into a vegetable?  It was a long time ago.

[KnitsWithRaceCars]

He killed Booger with a dosage error way back when.  Or did he just turn into a vegetable?  It was a long time ago.

 

Booger?

[Rae Spellman]

Booger?

 

Curtis Armstrong played Booger in Revenge of the Nerds. He guest starred in episode 2.10 and 2.11 of Grey's Anatomy. 

[KnitsWithRaceCars]

Thanks, @RaeSpellman!  I knew which Grey's character was being referenced, but didn't know why he was being called Booger.

[Chewy101]

Alex was only an intern when he killed Booger. Which means responsibility falls on the Attending in charge, which was Derek. No one on that board was voting against Alex. I picture more that they chose Bailey because they will always be afraid of Bailey, and Bailey is the one who saved Meredith's life when she had her own boy (named Bailey, need I add). The vote, surely, was not about looking down on either candidate, but they had to choose. Even though they DIDN'T. Who cares if both are on the board. Alex has the shares, so let him on, too! This is suuuuuuuuuch BS.

 

I, too, adore McKidd, but I also love Owen's character, even though he deserves to be kicked in the ass over many many things. He does it for me as a broken sympathetic character. However, I do wish McKidd had left and gotten another McGig elsewhere this season. I'd follow him!

[kingshearte]

Speaking of, I’m also (not) looking forward to the resolution of “I chose my family” and “I didn’t ask you to.” That whole debate is not making a lot of sense to me, mostly because the supporting evidence per Mer is “I’m a good surgeon, too!” which seems like kind of a moot point because his decision to stay is just kind of...another topic? Mer didn’t tell Der about her latest sister. They pretty much hate each other, I think.

Agree that it makes no sense. So... You refuse to move yourself an your family across the country, and then you seemingly refuse to acknowledge that while you may not have asked him specifically to choose his family, you did ask him to choose between his family and that opportunity. Were you really hoping that he would choose the job, and move across the country without you or your kids? Do you even think it's fair to expect that of him? I feel like she's looking at it as a strictly long-term relationship situation, which is difficult, but workable (at least if you're starting with a functional relationship), and completely disregarding the fact that he would also be leaving his kids. And that is a huge thing to ask of someone. Her whole attitude to this situation is infuriating.

 

I, too, adore McKidd, but I also love Owen's character, even though he deserves to be kicked in the ass over many many things. He does it for me as a broken sympathetic character. However, I do wish McKidd had left and gotten another McGig elsewhere this season. I'd follow him!

Especially if the McGig actually involved his delightful McAccent!