The Judge Judy Drinking Game: No Water For You!

[Trini]

Take a drink everytime someone takes... a drink.

[SandyToes]

Yea!!!  What are we up to?

Craigslist

I seen...

Judge waves her finger with the "Uh, uh, UH!!"

 

Need to run to Spec's...

 

.

[Jade Foxx]

Any mention of an "income tax refund"

[Mindymoo]

Kerfuffle.

It's lunchtime and we're having <insert food here, most likely sushi>.

[SnarkyTart]

JJ stabs an index finger at her watch...

 

Could be accompanied by, "It's almost lunch time", "You have 3 minutes...", "I have other things to do today!" 

JJ uses her pen to bang on her desk (always too close to the microphone, hurting my ears) to get a litigant to shut the hell up....NOW.

 

JJ dispatches Byrd to retrieve some document or a cell phone from a litigant.  Byrd slooowly shuffles to and from the litigant's podium, looking as disgruntled as possible about having to walk anywhere for any reason whatsoever. 

Edited October 6, 2014 by SnarkyTart

[SandyToes]

Ah, Kerfuffle! How could I forget?!  Good catch, Mindy!

[Florinaldo]

That trite favourite from so many hallterviews, "but it is what it is".

 

 

"Litigant: I am a stay-at-home dad.

 

JJ: So you're a bum!"

 

 

ETA: "I paid cash so I have no proof of payment"    (Receipts are a foreign concept to so many of those idiots.)

Edited October 6, 2014 by Florinaldo

[ElderPrice]

Mishagos!

[zillabreeze]

PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!!!

[Trini]

"I preceded to exit..."

[DebbieW]

I'm a single mother

[Quof]

I don't care if you're a double mother.

[SandyToes]

"I din' axe him/ her to pay my bail!"

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

"Are you trying to talk over me? " (with threat to turn off litigant's mike)

[how55]

Don't look over there. Look here.

[momtoall]

What did he/she SAY??  What did you SAY??

[Sarcastico]

 

JJ stabs an index finger at her watch...

Could be accompanied by, "It's almost lunch time", "You have 3 minutes...", "I have other things to do today!"

 

"I have to get home!  Judge Judy is on!"

[One Tough Cookie]

"I have to get home!  Judge Judy is on!"

 

 

my all time favorite!

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

10 or 11 or 14 (depending on how she feels) million people watch this show

[DebbieW]

This is my playpen.

[my tiffany]

How about 'That is RIDICULOUS!' or  having Ridiculous Counterclaim.

[SandyToes]

 

How about 'That is RIDICULOUS!' or  having Ridiculous Counterclaim.

Good lord, we'd all be three sheets to the wind just on this one item!!

And I love how she always jumps a little when she says it!

[Maccagirl]

i am surprised no one has yet to mention the oldie but goodie: "they don't keep me here because I am beautiful".  There is also

 

"you don't like where you are living?  MOVE".  

"You ate the steak for free"!

"I did not serve ___ years in college, law school to settle your dispute about blenders and dishes, pffttt."

"We do't have courts for almost marrieds."

[augmentedfourth]

"you don't like where you are living?  MOVE".  

 

Two shots if it actually comes out "a-MOVE-uh!"

[AZChristian]

Any time we see Byrd working a crossword puzzle on his clipboard.

[Quof]

"I did not serve ___ years in college, law school to settle your dispute about blenders and dishes, pffttt."

 

And I've lost track of how many years she went to school, but it changes each time she says it.

[how55]

Think we're tired of "they don't keep me hear 'cause I'm beautiful" because it gets played constantly on JJ Classic.

[SnarkyTart]

You know how you can tell when a teenager is lying?

 

His lips are moving!

 

Are you trying to talk over me?  You're not going to talk over me because this is MY playpen!

 

You're not listening!  Put on your listening ears! (Accompanied by the dual hand gestures of screwing a lightbulb into both of her ears)

Edited October 13, 2014 by SnarkyTart

[sorrynotsorry]

Take your hands out of your pockets. Stand on your own two feet. Uncross your arms!

[teebax]

Double Talk. As in, "Don't double-talk me" (usually said whenever JJ doesn't understand something).

 

Speaking of whenever, we should add: whenever a litigant uses "whenever" when it should be "when"

[ZaldamoWilder]

JJ:  "How many payments did you make?"

 

Litigant:  Um..

 

JJ:  Um is not an answer!

 

IKEA has a 6 pack of shot glasses for $2.99.  Let me know when ya'll are ready. 

[LekoBoy]

That's a bunch of who shot John.

 

Ba-loh-ney.

 

Are you under the influence of any prescribed medication?

 

Pit bulls are dangerous because of the way their jaws are built.

[ZaldamoWilder]

That's a bunch of who shot John.

 

Ba-loh-ney.

 

Are you under the influence of any prescribed medication?

 

Pit bulls are dangerous because of the way their jaws are built.

 

 

bwahahahahahaaa!!  I say this every time I get the opportunity.   My 15 year old thinks I'm the coolest.  *snort*

[SandyToes]

Sigh. Dear friends,  I'm concerned we may have to remove "Craigslist" from the list. We may all die of liver poisoning....

[Rosemadder]

Irregardless, I don't want to hear you say 'basically' again!!

 

 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

How about we take a shot whenever somebody without a valid license buys a car. . . 

 

. . . or buys a car in somebody else's name to avoid SOMETHING. . . . . . . 

[momtoall]

... or their insurance lapsed the day of or the day before the accident and they were unaware of they didn't have coverage.

Edited October 25, 2014 by momtoall

[DebbieW]

God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.

[how55]

How about we take a shot whenever somebody without a valid license buys a car. . .

 

. . . or buys a car in somebody else's name to avoid SOMETHING. . . . . . .

 

 

... or the phone w/the relevant texts/pictures, what have you broke or fell in the toilet or was otherwise replaced just last week.

[AngelaHunter]

When someone says "I don't have (the evidence upon which my whole case rests) on me/with me TODAY."

[One Tough Cookie]

But your honor, I'm a SINGLE MOTHER {with a pause hoping for angels to sing}

 

I don't care if you are a DOUBLE MOTHER

 

                   OR

 

just a plain WHO CARES??????

Edited October 29, 2014 by One More Time

[SnarkyTart]

just a plain WHO CARES??????

For as often as JJ shrieks "Who cares???" it may deserve its own entry in the drinking game.

[ZaldamoWilder]

"I always wanted to be 5"6", life's not fair"

 

"uncross your arms"

 

{{points to witness bench}} who uh you? {{then points to podium}}  

(this I have to admit I get a special kick out of because she says it the same way my best friend's boss' wife sounds when introducing herself):  I'm Mrs. Rubin, and you? who uh you?   I die.  lol.

Edited October 30, 2014 by ZaldamoWilder

[MrsEVH]

Irregardless, I don't want to hear you say 'basically' again!!

 

She also says "Not basically" (whenever they start a sentence with basically).

 

Winners say "Justice was served" while losers say "it is what it is".

[ZaldamoWilder]

Well what it is this week was an escape goat. An escape goat. I kid you not.

 

LMAO!!!!!!   I see what you did there squash ;-) 

 

Wait, there's no such thing as an escape goat?   Then....what kind of animal do you properly place the blame on?

[ZaldamoWilder]

Ha you still blame the goat but the word I think he wanted was scapegoat. It comes from the biblical sense of placing sins on a sacrificed lamb. I have no idea how it morphed into escape with that litigant. 

 

 

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!   I know babe, I was being silly.  I love that you broke that down for me though lol.  That's awesome!!!

[SpringTulips]

"Did you think you were coming to a tea dance?"  when someone doesn't bring their evidence.

also

"There is something wrong with you."

Edited November 7, 2014 by SpringTulips

[MrsEVH]

"I  believe"   (nobody's ever sure,  they always "believe")

 

UM is not an  answer!  (my favorite) . There's a youtube montage for this one.

Edited November 8, 2014 by MrsEVH

[Trini]

Drink when there's a closeup of "JJ's" hand pointing to some highlighted text.

[MrsEVH]

Zip it