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The Judge Judy Drinking Game: No Water For You!


Trini
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JJ stabs an index finger at her watch...

 

Could be accompanied by, "It's almost lunch time", "You have 3 minutes...", "I have other things to do today!" 


JJ uses her pen to bang on her desk (always too close to the microphone, hurting my ears) to get a litigant to shut the hell up....NOW.

 

JJ dispatches Byrd to retrieve some document or a cell phone from a litigant.  Byrd slooowly shuffles to and from the litigant's podium, looking as disgruntled as possible about having to walk anywhere for any reason whatsoever. 

Edited by SnarkyTart
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That trite favourite from so many hallterviews, "but it is what it is".

 

 

"Litigant: I am a stay-at-home dad.

 

JJ: So you're a bum!"

 

 

ETA: "I paid cash so I have no proof of payment"    (Receipts are a foreign concept to so many of those idiots.)

Edited by Florinaldo
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How about 'That is RIDICULOUS!' or  having Ridiculous Counterclaim.

Good lord, we'd all be three sheets to the wind just on this one item!!

And I love how she always jumps a little when she says it!

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i am surprised no one has yet to mention the oldie but goodie: "they don't keep me here because I am beautiful".  There is also

 

"you don't like where you are living?  MOVE".  

"You ate the steak for free"!

"I did not serve ___ years in college, law school to settle your dispute about blenders and dishes, pffttt."

"We do't have courts for almost marrieds."

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"I did not serve ___ years in college, law school to settle your dispute about blenders and dishes, pffttt."

 

And I've lost track of how many years she went to school, but it changes each time she says it.

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You know how you can tell when a teenager is lying?

 

His lips are moving!

 

Are you trying to talk over me?  You're not going to talk over me because this is MY playpen!

 

You're not listening!  Put on your listening ears! (Accompanied by the dual hand gestures of screwing a lightbulb into both of her ears)

Edited by SnarkyTart
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Double Talk. As in, "Don't double-talk me" (usually said whenever JJ doesn't understand something).

 

Speaking of whenever, we should add: whenever a litigant uses "whenever" when it should be "when"

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That's a bunch of who shot John.

 

Ba-loh-ney.

 

Are you under the influence of any prescribed medication?

 

Pit bulls are dangerous because of the way their jaws are built.

 

 

bwahahahahahaaa!!  I say this every time I get the opportunity.   My 15 year old thinks I'm the coolest.  *snort*

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How about we take a shot whenever somebody without a valid license buys a car. . .

 

. . . or buys a car in somebody else's name to avoid SOMETHING. . . . . . .

 

 

... or the phone w/the relevant texts/pictures, what have you broke or fell in the toilet or was otherwise replaced just last week.

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"I always wanted to be 5"6", life's not fair"

 

"uncross your arms"

 

{{points to witness bench}} who uh you? {{then points to podium}}  

(this I have to admit I get a special kick out of because she says it the same way my best friend's boss' wife sounds when introducing herself):  I'm Mrs. Rubin, and you? who uh you?   I die.  lol.

Edited by ZaldamoWilder
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Irregardless, I don't want to hear you say 'basically' again!!

 

She also says "Not basically" (whenever they start a sentence with basically).

 

Winners say "Justice was served" while losers say "it is what it is".

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Well what it is this week was an escape goat. An escape goat. I kid you not.

 

LMAO!!!!!!   I see what you did there squash ;-) 

 

Wait, there's no such thing as an escape goat?   Then....what kind of animal do you properly place the blame on?

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Ha you still blame the goat but the word I think he wanted was scapegoat. It comes from the biblical sense of placing sins on a sacrificed lamb. I have no idea how it morphed into escape with that litigant. 

 

 

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!   I know babe, I was being silly.  I love that you broke that down for me though lol.  That's awesome!!!

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"I  believe"   (nobody's ever sure,  they always "believe")

 

UM is not an  answer!  (my favorite) . There's a youtube montage for this one.

Edited by MrsEVH
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