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Chit-Chat: The Feels


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32 minutes ago, PRgal said:

He's given the little guy tips, but it's totally not working.  My dad, on the other hand, thinks the little one needs to go into tae kwon do but the thing is, even if we got the kiddo in, he's NOT SUPPOSED to use what he learns on the playground and/or with people who are not properly trained.  So it doesn't matter.  In any case, we're working on it.  We have ALL school communication sent to our joint email account but he NEVER reads ANY of those emails.  In fact, he's accidentally deleted them a few times.  I had to fish them out of them out of the trash.  I had to remind him of the head of school's name.  

Forgive me but this may be getting to the point where you and your husband will have to soon reach a serious consensus about  the fact that while your own father is older, you two are your son's actual parents and, as your son's parents, YOU TWO have the final say about what your son gets to learn and when NOT his  grandfather. Hence, regardless of the traditions of the homeland, he will have to accept if not like you and your husband's decisions on how you raise your own son if he wants to continue to have unsupervised visitation with his grandson!

I'm a historian who understands and respects traditions- as long as they are NOT harmful or counterproductive. However, there comes a point for the good of one's nuclear family and minor offspring's wellbeing, that one must learn to enact and fight for one's boundaries- and learn to let those who refuse to believe that actions/consequences should apply to them to stew in their own- regardless of any tears, tantrums or namecalling!

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12 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

I have three granddaughters and I truly hope I can instill them the importance of being able to support themselves.  I'm afraid the men of their generation is going to grow up with some version of Joe Rogan as a role model.

My mom's mother who was college graduate and a teacher before her marriage always told me "Learn how to take care of yourself, don't depend some man to do it." And my mom, my aunt, my cousin and I all followed that advice and I'm so glad we did.

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Just now, peacheslatour said:

My mom's mother who was college graduate and a teacher before her marriage always told me "Learn how to take care of yourself, don't depend some man to do it." And my mom, my aunt, my cousin and I all followed that advice and I'm so glad we did.

My grandparents may have pushed their daughters into very traditional female occupations (nurse, teacher, secretary) but given the time in which they were raising their children they were fairly forward thinking.  They wanted their daughters to be able to support themselves.  In the case of one of my aunts she ended up supporting herself, five children and a disabled husband. 

I look at Project 2025 and the efforts to push women back and I am seeing the prospect of a generation or more of girls growing up dependent on their parents, then on their spouse and down the road, I guess, on their children.  Never on themselves 😔.

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12 minutes ago, Dimity said:

My grandparents may have pushed their daughters into very traditional female occupations (nurse, teacher, secretary) but given the time in which they were raising their children they were fairly forward thinking.  They wanted their daughters to be able to support themselves.  In the case of one of my aunts she ended up supporting herself, five children and a disabled husband. 

I look at Project 2025 and the efforts to push women back and I am seeing the prospect of a generation or more of girls growing up dependent on their parents, then on their spouse and down the road, I guess, on their children.  Never on themselves 😔.

This is it. They want women out of the workforce completely. What would a woman need a job for when she can just get a man to take care of her and relieve her of all of those pesky responsibilities like financial independence, autonomy and freedom of movement and decisions in their own healthcare. And besides, everyone knows that those selfish women are just taking jobs that are the god given provenance of men only. My grandma had to quit her teaching job when she got married. Married women were nothing but a headache for employers, what with their strange female troubles like childbirth, ill children and hubbies in need of three hots a day.

Edited by peacheslatour
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1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Oh dear. You need to have this out with him. I understand some men from more traditional backrounds don't really comprehend everything that goes into parenting. That was one of the best things about always at least having a part time job while my son was growing up. "Nope, I can't take Jr, to doctor appt/sports game/birthday party, gotta work that day!" My husband had no problem stepping up.

He does the birthday parties. I stay home since I have trouble in spaces with a lot of noise (parties at arcades are not usually drop off ones), but I'm the one who RSVPs.  So far this year, he's gone to 100% of all arcade/trampoline park parties. I don't usually drive, especially with a child (thanks, epilepsy!!!), so I rely on my parents to do a lot of the chauffeuring (like to the doctor).  Otherwise, I take him on transit.  

@Blergh:  Don't worry, my dad knows.  He fully understands.  At least I hope he does.  The only thing I'm worried about is what he's telling my son about marriage when I'm not around.  PRkid asked a while back and my dad said that it was when a man and a woman.  I quickly corrected him and said "two people...grown-ups."  Dad said that it would only "confuse PRkid."  I quickly replied that one of his friends has two same-sex parents and by saying that it has to be between two opposite gendered people would invalidate his friend's parents' relationship.  He seemed to understand at that time, but being of a certain age, I'm not sure if he'll remember.

Edited by PRgal
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38 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

I have three granddaughters and I truly hope I can instill them the importance of being able to support themselves.  I'm afraid the men of their generation is going to grow up with some version of Joe Rogan as a role model.

I have one granddaughter and that is my ongoing advice to her.  She is in college and has a plan.  I keep reminding her.  That, and "use sunscreen".  I am old and in my day the plan was to marry someone who could support me.  I did.  then he left me and I had to scramble.  Big lesson.  I was able to go to college for the first time and get a graduate degree and support myself.  Ex supported the kids.  When I married Mr lookeyloo it had nothing to do with him supporting or "taking care" of me in that financial way. 

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My maternal grandmother was one of eight kids — seven of them girls. Most came of age in the 1930s, and all of them graduated college. They all were either SAHMs or educators, so nothing untraditional, but all were well educated and able to support themselves. They were all pretty amazing women and they were all instilled with a belief that women were valuable and capable and should be encouraged to live up to their potential.

My paternal grandmother, on the other hand, was extremely traditional. Old-fashioned Southern lady. Backward thinking in a lot of ways. Sweet, generous, lovable, but she married a successful doctor and never had to worry about working outside the home. It didn’t seem to really sink in that that wasn’t everyone’s life.

She once told me how, when she was younger, she and a friend in Junior League disagreed on a proposed program. The program would provide job training and education assistance for women. My grandmother was against it because a married woman’s job was to care for her husband and children. The friend felt that women should have tools should they be put in a position to support themselves and children. Thank goodness the friend won.

My grandmother was not a bad woman. But she was very concrete and had trouble understanding other people had different lives and experiences. She loosened up quite a bit when she had granddaughters.

I have five nieces, the oldest of whom will go off to college next year. It’s my hope that they will grow up with my maternal grandmother’s attitude and not my paternal one’s. Yet the world seems to be rolling backward down that damned hill.

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3 minutes ago, AgathaC said:

My maternal grandmother was one of eight kids — seven of them girls. Most came of age in the 1930s, and all of them graduated college. They all were either SAHMs or educators, so nothing untraditional, but all were well educated and able to support themselves. They were all pretty amazing women and they were all instilled with a belief that women were valuable and capable and should be encouraged to live up to their potential.

My paternal grandmother, on the other hand, was extremely traditional. Old-fashioned Southern lady. Backward thinking in a lot of ways. Sweet, generous, lovable, but she married a successful doctor and never had to worry about working outside the home. It didn’t seem to really sink in that that wasn’t everyone’s life.

She once told me how, when she was younger, she and a friend in Junior League disagreed on a proposed program. The program would provide job training and education assistance for women. My grandmother was against it because a married woman’s job was to care for her husband and children. The friend felt that women should have tools should they be put in a position to support themselves and children. Thank goodness the friend won.

My grandmother was not a bad woman. But she was very concrete and had trouble understanding other people had different lives and experiences. She loosened up quite a bit when she had granddaughters.

I have five nieces, the oldest of whom will go off to college next year. It’s my hope that they will grow up with my maternal grandmother’s attitude and not my paternal one’s. Yet the world seems to be rolling backward down that damned hill.

Your maternal grandmother reminds me of mine. 12 kids in the family (original wife with died when she gave birth to kid 6 and great grandpa remarried and she had 6 more). They all graduated from college and very much believed that women should be able to support themselves. My paternal grandmother was not as well educated but she still applauded independent women.

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4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Uh oh, somebody's not happy.

On Truth Social, the president elect wrote, "I am pleased to announce that Peggy Schwinn will be our next United States Deputy Secretary of Education. Peggy has a strong record of delivering results for children and families. She previously served as the Commissioner of the Tennessee Department of Education and, at the Texas Education Agency, as the Deputy Commissioner of Standards and Engagement, Deputy Commissioner of Special Populations and Monitoring, and Chief Deputy Commissioner of Academics. She was also the Assistant Secretary of Education of Delaware, and holds a master’s degree from Johns Hopkins, as well as a Ph.D. from Claremont. A former teacher herself, Peggy became the founding principal of a charter school, because she believes in the power of School Choice, and is committed to delivering the American Dream to the next Generation by returning Education BACK TO THE STATES."

He then added, "Congratulations to Peggy and her wonderful family!"

That led to a wave of complaints from supporters who reminded him he promised to shutter the Department of Education.

Self-described MAGA veteran Ken G, asked, "Why are we staffing this department up? You need to dismantle the 'Education' department..."

Kirk Womack claims "Trump is our President" protested, "I thought we were going to get rid of the Federal Bloated Department of Education?"

"You promised to shut down the Department of Education! Don’t you dare start reneging!" accused Jon Crawford.

In other words, thanks, MAGA, for continuing to prove precisely why we need a Department of Education. 

Just...imagine being this stupid. 

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33 minutes ago, AgathaC said:

My maternal grandmother was one of eight kids — seven of them girls. Most came of age in the 1930s, and all of them graduated college. They all were either SAHMs or educators, so nothing untraditional, but all were well educated and able to support themselves. They were all pretty amazing women and they were all instilled with a belief that women were valuable and capable and should be encouraged to live up to their potential.

My paternal grandmother, on the other hand, was extremely traditional. Old-fashioned Southern lady. Backward thinking in a lot of ways. Sweet, generous, lovable, but she married a successful doctor and never had to worry about working outside the home. It didn’t seem to really sink in that that wasn’t everyone’s life.

She once told me how, when she was younger, she and a friend in Junior League disagreed on a proposed program. The program would provide job training and education assistance for women. My grandmother was against it because a married woman’s job was to care for her husband and children. The friend felt that women should have tools should they be put in a position to support themselves and children. Thank goodness the friend won.

My grandmother was not a bad woman. But she was very concrete and had trouble understanding other people had different lives and experiences. She loosened up quite a bit when she had granddaughters.

I have five nieces, the oldest of whom will go off to college next year. It’s my hope that they will grow up with my maternal grandmother’s attitude and not my paternal one’s. Yet the world seems to be rolling backward down that damned hill.

What did her friend and the other ladies in her league think?  I'm currently a Sustainer in the Toronto chapter and I always thought that helping the community was what the Junior League DOES.  I started sustaining when my son was born and probably won't reactivate until he's in middle school.  As for being traditional versus more modern, my family is like that too.  My maternal grandmother was always proud of the fact that she didn't have bound feet, finished high school and got to choose her own husband (my grandfather probably wasn't the SMARTEST choice, but that's another story for another day).  While my paternal grandmother got to pick her own husband, she was not nearly as educated.  She was, in fact, ashamed that she didn't go beyond the first few elementary grades.  I'm not even sure she went further than Grade 4 or 5.  WWII had broken out and being in China meant she and her family were always on the run.  I always thought she didn't have that much of an education because she was poor, but it turned out that she was middle class, possibly upper middle.  Her father was a journalist.  In fact, her grandfather owned the local paper her dad worked for.  Her older sister had a master's degree (didn't know that either...my dad recently translated my great aunt's obituary).

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3 hours ago, Dimity said:

I agree and in a perfect world I would hope no one is taking cues on major life decisions from social media but I think there are people out there who do.   But my concern with the tsunami of posts like the ones I mentioned is that they are trying to normalize decisions that are really not in the best interests of most young women.   They are trying to paint a happy 1950s lifestyle to aspire to that is just not realistic.

I worry about these young women who will eventually reach an age where the kids are out of the house, they have no marketable skills and are totally reliant on a spouse to support them.  Retirement is going to be hard on them.

 

 

First of all, it seems incredible to me that any "tsunami of posts" on any subject on FB is taken at face value: if there are Russian bots multi posting on political issues, why wouldn't there be equivalent bots (from wherever) designed to create the impression that all the sudden lots of young women think being trad wives is a viable life option?

Secondly, I would be more concerned about the incredible numbers of young people that now think being an "influencer" is the best career choice (especially those based on beauty/fashion on TikTok or Instagram or being a sex object on OnlyFans). You age out of that a whole lot faster than being a housewife, and there is no alimony or property division waiting for you when you do.

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I think one big reason more and more young women are looking to be influencers and/or trad wives is because college continues to be more and more unaffordable. A.lot of people don't want to still be paying their student loans when they are old enough to collect social security.

The things in Project 2025 aren't anything new. The right, especially the Christian right, has long been trying to get women back in the kitchen, LGTBQ back in the closet and people of color back to knowing their place.  I fear some very dark days ahead.

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27 minutes ago, isalicat said:

First of all, it seems incredible to me that any "tsunami of posts" on any subject on FB is taken at face value: if there are Russian bots multi posting on political issues, why wouldn't there be equivalent bots (from wherever) designed to create the impression that all the sudden lots of young women think being trad wives is a viable life option?

Secondly, I would be more concerned about the incredible numbers of young people that now think being an "influencer" is the best career choice (especially those based on beauty/fashion on TikTok or Instagram or being a sex object on OnlyFans). You age out of that a whole lot faster than being a housewife, and there is no alimony or property division waiting for you when you do.

I don't think alimony is a thing anymore. Child support is but I've seen too many guys jump through innumerable hoops to get out of paying it.

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14 minutes ago, AgathaC said:

The friend disagreed with her, but knew her well and didn’t get too upset. No clue about others. I do know they put the program in place. And they had others like adult literacy (which my grandmother was heavily involved in).

When I first joined the Junior League, the main focus for Toronto was a program that helped high school aged kids in a more marginalized part of the city finish high school. The program has since expanded to other parts of Canada.  

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I had a friend who had a child and her boyfriend refused to acknowledge paternity.  For some crazy reason she kept seeing him while the state child support authorities pursued him. After 5 years it went to court and after a paternity test he was confirmed as the father.  All that time and expense could have been avoided if he had just been a man and admitted he was the father.

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11 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Child support is but I've seen too many guys jump through innumerable hoops to get out of paying it.

I've also seen too many women (and more recently men) think that child support is forever and have lived their lives  accordingly.  Needless to say a rude awakening happened or is soon to happen for them. 

But looking back, and looking around me even now I see far more women who never received one red cent in child support.   I'm also old enough now to see some of these men come crawling back into their now adult children's lives when ill health or job loss means they're the ones needing help.  Because, of course, it's always been about them.

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Trump told his voters "I don't care about you, I just want your vote"  so why are MAGA surprised he's treating them like shit under his shoe? Disdain and scorn for his voters is exactly what Trump promised.

And it's the second time around with this grifter. No one has the right to be surprised or disappointed by anything Trump does.  So stop whining, MAGA. The rest of us have the right to complain, not you. This is what you voted for:  oligarchs in charge, and Trump's contempt for anyone unable to write him a fat check. (Plus a drunk leading the military. Bravo. Thanks for Making America Great Again. A shame you aren't invited to the party.)

image.png.43efd41f59ad861f3c6dad4eb240c928.png

 

 

Edited by anony.miss
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Trump has always been a user.  Once someone stops being of use to him he no longer has any use for them. This was his last election.  Whether he dies leaves voluntarily or tries another insurrection to stay in office he doesn't need his voters anymore.  He never cared about their issues except their white nationalism.  He tapped into their white grievance the first time around.  Second time around was off his game because of the pandemic and the third time used the economy to win.  But now all he cares about is seeking revenge and lining his own pockets.  He does not give one fuck about any of his voters.

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Indoors or out, it's still going to be a fiasco. It'll be like a Galllagher show, only nobody in the first ten rows will bother with ponchos because they love him that much.

I got my own drama going on, but it's not distracting me from Monday. I wasn't kidding about the potential for accidents. I live inside the one red blotch within the five boroughs, and I'm probably going to have to drive because of said drama.

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6 minutes ago, Lantern7 said:

Indoors or out, it's still going to be a fiasco. It'll be like a Galllagher show, only nobody in the first ten rows will bother with ponchos because they love him that much.

I got my own drama going on, but it's not distracting me from Monday. I wasn't kidding about the potential for accidents. I live inside the one red blotch within the five boroughs, and I'm probably going to have to drive because of said drama.

What happened?

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2 hours ago, anony.miss said:

Trump told his voters "I don't care about you, I just want your vote"  so why are MAGA surprised he's treating them like shit under his shoe? Disdain and scorn for his voters is exactly what Trump promised.

And it's the second time around with this grifter. No one has the right to be surprised or disappointed by anything Trump does.  So stop whining, MAGA. The rest of us have the right to complain, not you. This is what you voted for:  oligarchs in charge, and Trump's contempt for anyone unable to write him a fat check. (Plus a drunk leading the military. Bravo. Thanks for Making America Great Again. A shame you aren't invited to the party.)

image.png.43efd41f59ad861f3c6dad4eb240c928.png

 

 

This. You're getting exactly what you wanted and voted for, Trump supporters. No sympathy. You fucked around and now you get to find out. 

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On 1/15/2025 at 1:53 PM, tres bien said:

The newest news about Trump’s beautiful tariffs is yesterday he posted on his truth social that on day one he will be creating the External Revenue Service to collect all tariffs imposed on foreign companies

Sounds legit 🤔

I'm late to respond to this post but could someone tell this moron who was the president of the United States for 4 years that there's a federal agency called U.S. Customs and Border Protection?  It's located within the Department of Homeland Security.  That word "Customs" means it deals with trade, tariffs, etc.  In other words, this new agency he is proposing ALREADY exists. 

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Hi everyone,

how’s everyone doing?

I’ve tried to keep the note as short as possible but I’m touching on a number of subjects, so, it got a little long-ish.
As I know that some of you use cell phones and, for general reading convenience, I decided to split it up. So, all the mod notes posted within the next 24 hours or so, even if posted with posts in between, are all part of one. 

Some of what I’m touching on references discussions from a few pages ago. Nevertheless, I’d like to use the opportunity to address them as they’re still relevant when it comes to navigating what can be difficult subjects. 

First of all, thank you for handling the debate about who this thread is intended for (largely) without making it personal.

Secondly, in an age of mis- and disinformation, I’d like Primetimer to be as transparent as possible. So, kindly include a link to the source not only for articles (I believe everyone is doing that, thank you) but also for any cartoons and pictures you may post. If it’s something you came across on social media and you’re sharing it because it resonates with you, please mention that. It helps to keep the intention behind the posts transparent and to avoid misunderstandings.

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31 minutes ago, CM-BlueButterfly said:

Hi everyone,

how’s everyone doing?

I’ve tried to keep the note as short as possible but I’m touching on a number of subjects, so, it got a little long-ish.
As I know that some of you use cell phones and, for general reading convenience, I decided to split it up. So, all the mod notes posted within the next 24 hours or so, even if posted with posts in between, are all part of one. 

Some of what I’m touching on references discussions from a few pages ago. Nevertheless, I’d like to use the opportunity to address them as they’re still relevant when it comes to navigating what can be difficult subjects. 

First of all, thank you for handling the debate about who this thread is intended for (largely) without making it personal.

Secondly, in an age of mis- and disinformation, I’d like Primetimer to be as transparent as possible. So, kindly include a link to the source not only for articles (I believe everyone is doing that, thank you) but also for any cartoons and pictures you may post. If it’s something you came across on social media and you’re sharing it because it resonates with you, please mention that. It helps to keep the intention behind the posts transparent and to avoid misunderstandings.

My cartoons all come from Arcamax.com.

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3 hours ago, Dimity said:

And this is why I will never understand how anyone could vote for Trump:

 

473753030_1019162906916032_7290951454059209800_n.jpg

Is it wrong to want mass desertions? I know that would lead to dire consequences no matter the Commander-In-Chief, but I want to know what an army loyal only to him would like at a fraction of its original size.

*sigh* But then I remember one of P2025’s goals is to bring the draft back. Well, just for kids that couldn’t go to private school. Anyone coming from a family rich enough to afford that wouldn’t have to sweat it.

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I spoke on the phone with a friend today that I haven't spoken with in a while. We got on the topic of politics and he spent the next hour or more downloading on me all his frustrations and disgust with Trump and the Republicans while I sympathized and agreed with pretty much all of it. Most of it was stuff we've talked about many times here. He impressed me with his knowledge and awareness of the situation and thanked me for letting him go on about it because he lives in a little red patch in the middle of blue about 25 minutes away from here and doesn't know too many people he can talk to about this stuff without getting into an argument. So he's got a lot pent up inside of him. I told him about this thread and how therapeutic it's been for me, but he's not an online guy so I doubt he'll join any time soon. But I think we'll probably talk more often about it in the future.

Anyway it made me really appreciate this place. I don't know what I'd do without all of you. My "stressed sideliner" husband often agrees with me but he is so disgusted with politics in general that he doesn't like to talk about it anymore. And my BFF who voted for Trump and then regretted it is also someone I can't talk about everything with either. Right now there are 3 people I can talk to in my "real life" about this stuff - the friend I talked to today, my lawyer friend and my sister in law. But I don't talk to them every day so this place has been a real godsend. Thank you everyone!

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1 hour ago, Spartan Girl said:

https://bsky.app/profile/msignorile.bsky.social/post/3lg2lg3wu2s2f
 

Sorry I still don’t know how to embed Blusky posts, but this clarification makes me feel a little better.

So it's pretty much a tribute band.   

In other somewhat disappointing news Nellie is performing at one of the inaugural balls.  Eh I didn't like Hot in Herre all that much anyways 

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While there is fewer name-calling/labeling/stereotyping/generalizing at the moment than several pages ago, as we’re approaching the Inauguration, kindly remember that it should be avoided altogether.

Having read through the posts, I think I have a fairly good idea about the motivation behind the name-calling, labeling and stereotyping that I’m seeing. 

In the context of politics, it may feel good in the moment. It may allow us to vent frustration. But let’s step away from politics and affiliations for a moment and consider the impact in general. How does it affect us? Fellow community members? The posting environment? If we entered a room and one individual or a group of individuals spent much of their time name-calling/labeling/stereotyping/generalizing what would the atmosphere in the room feel like? Relaxed? Tense? Welcoming? Frustrated? Open-minded? Confrontational?
What would our impression of the individuals who are doing the name calling be?
How would we be left feeling on a human level? 

What if a community member has a past that comes with triggers, isn’t as confident or is very perceptible to environments? Sharing an opinion makes us vulnerable as it opens us up to criticism from potentially anyone who is around us, so, how safe and confident might the name-calling/labeling/stereotyping make them feel? How comfortable might they be to voice their own opinion?

How is name-calling/labeling/stereotyping/generalizing different when it's engaged in from when it's criticized?

What about the impact on the post itself? How constructive is name-calling/labeling/stereotyping to a conversation? If someone else said something to us and includes a personal attack, stereotyping, generalization, labeling or name-calling, what is it that we’ll likely focus on and respond to? The point the other party is trying to make or the part we find offensive?
On that note, how would we want someone else to respond to us? How and where do we want the conversation to go and is our choice of words the best way to get there? Might there be a different way even though we're frustrated, hurt or upset? 

With all that said, a quick, little tip to conclude this part of the note: Generalizations can be addressed easily as oftentimes, all that’s missing to recognizing that groups aren't monoliths is a qualifier to who we’re talking about. (Eg, “Voters want” vs “Many/A majority of voters (seem to) want” or “No one believes that” vs “Few (seem to) believe that”).

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18 minutes ago, atomic said:

The sad thing about Snoop is that he doesn't even need the paycheck. He's massively wealthy and just recently made ~$9M as a correspondent for the Olympics. Just another sellout willing to do anything to score another bag.

That ball already happened.   It was the Crypto Ball.  Any bets Snoop has a financial interest in crypto?

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17 minutes ago, atomic said:

The sad thing about Snoop is that he doesn't even need the paycheck. He's massively wealthy and just recently made ~$9M as a correspondent for the Olympics. Just another sellout willing to do anything to score another bag.

Well that's disappointing.  I admit I am not a fan of his music (couldn't begin to name any song he ever did) but I've gotten a kick out of his recent activity such as, as you mentioned, the Olympics. 

Was performing at Inaugurations always so divisive?  Did people assume the performers had to be supportive of the incoming president's agenda?  Or are we seeing yet another situation unique to Trump who has made divisiveness his brand?

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5 minutes ago, Bookish Jen said:

She looked so beautiful and ethereal.

I've always thought she was (is) a beautiful woman but I especially appreciate her warmth and her wit.  She can also have a good laugh at her own expense which is something you don't see often enough with public figures.  I recall her on a show once, possibly Jimmy Fallon, where she does "Mom dancing".  It was such a fun lighthearted thing to do!

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