S11.E12: How'd You Like Them Apples?

[ZettaK]

A podcast rehashing the past sends everyone spiralling; Scheana releases a new song; Lala takes the next step toward expanding her family; Ally and James have a tough conversation; Scheana and Sandoval clash over a perceived betrayal.

(Bravo synopsis)

First aired on 4/16/2024

[FlyingEgret]

Ow - my ears hurt after being subjected to Sandoval's rehearsal; what did we do to deserve that???

[Ladybugnine]

James is killing me right now, lol!

[Kiki777]

49 minutes ago, FlyingEgret said:

Ow - my ears hurt after being subjected to Sandoval's rehearsal; what did we do to deserve that???

You know what’s really pathetic? I recognized his band’s song because they played it last season as well 😝 James cracked me up dissing them like that.

That was weird and dark, watching Sandoval trying to talk Schwartz into basically renting the house from him.  The sad thing is, he might just succeed because Schwartz is completely spineless.  Sandoval is a friend to no one.

[whydoievencare]

Sandoval keeps re-writing history, as does Rachel.  He's such a petulant child, his voice is a constant whine.  He still takes no responsibility for anything. He has absolutely no depth.  He's all style and no substance.  Loved James going after him - kind of a hit and run.  But spot on.  

Edited April 17 by whydoievencare
More to complain about.

[politichick]

And, hello?!? We knew all along he couldn't afford to buy out Ariana. What a dick!

[Katesus7]

Wait, so when Ariana gets done with figuring out the furniture costs and her lawyers give Sandoval a counter offer, suddenly he’s not that into it? Meaning he realizes he actually CAN’T buy her out? And his solution is to get poor Schwartz to pay $6k a month in rent to be roommates? HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Never would have seen that coming. Dumbass.

[princelina]

At last year's reunion when. Andy asked him if he was in love he could barely choke out an obligatory "yes" so I'm not believing his grand passion this year.  It sounds like he lucked out anyway - Scheana said Raquel didn't stock toilet paper when she lived with her either! 😂. James gave it to him good and was completely right- I wish he hadn't made the crack about the band being a joke because, although true, it gave something petty for Sandy to focus on rather than the truths James was telling.  Although frankly I think Sandy knows it anyway - his "love" is for storyline about the girl who ain't coming back!  I'll be laughing until this show ends picturing him at 70 years old singing karaoke and whipping out his penis flute! 🤣

[whydoievencare]

2 minutes ago, Katesus7 said:

And his solution is to get poor Schwartz to pay $6k a month in rent to be roommates?

And for Schwartz to get a loan?  To pay rent to Sandoval?  What a pig of a "friend".

[princelina]

Schwartz seemed the most grown up I've ever seen him this episode - maybe it's good for him to be single!

[Gharlane]

Quote

"How'd You Like Them Apples?". A podcast rehashing the past sends everyone spiraling; Scheana releases a new song; Lala takes the next step toward expanding her family; Ally and James have a tough conversation; Scheana and Sandoval clash over a perceived betrayal.

• Oh no! Everyone's upset about what Rachel said about Sandoval! 🙄
• Nice to see Schemer is still trying to milk "Good as Gold" for all its worth. Who the hell was that cover band making the video? At least she wasn't twerking in her bedroom on top of her bed this time! So, she made a new song and for some reason thought it was clever to put a Rachel reference in it?🙄
• The less said about LaLa's "Jizz party", the better. Even bawdy Lisa Vanderbucks seemed appalled. Why does everyone assume they can hold their parties at her house? It seemed a bit presumptive for LaLa to have already arranged for everything before asking.
• I think there was more but I cannot be bothered.
• So Ann was fired? To be honest, their house didn't look much less dirty to me, but I did enjoy all the footage of their habitation looking like a pigsty. Leave it to Sandoval to hire a male assistant who looks like him! 😀
• Successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks displayed her dominance over the Toms by forcing them to have a "Pump Brunch" at Tom Tom.

 

Edited April 17 by Gharlane

[Marley]

Sandoval trying to act all depressed is laughable. No one is buying it. Him trying to get James mad and going and James not giving in or giving a fuck made me laugh. My recording cut out at that point because some sort of glitch and I don’t really care lol. Doubt I missed much after.

[princelina]

41 minutes ago, Marley said:

Sandoval trying to act all depressed is laughable. No one is buying it. Him trying to get James mad and going and James not giving in or giving a fuck made me laugh. My recording cut out at that point because some sort of glitch and I don’t really care lol. Doubt I missed much after.

Scheana told him she referenced his grand passion in her new song, and he stomped around crying and she DGAF either 😂

 

56 minutes ago, Gharlane said:

• Why does everyone assume they can hold their parties at her house? It seemed a bit presumptive for LaLa to have already arranged for everything before asking.

Because Lisa wants them to of course!  She's the producer and she loves showing off her house and I don't blame her.  I do blame her for the way they have to beg whilst Lisa pretends to be reluctant 😄

[dancingdreamer]

Scheanas  one song, still sounds  horrible. I don't  need to hear the new one.

Tom can't  sing either. Those two should try a duet.

Choose my sperm donor,  alrighty then( weird) I'm happy for Lala if she's happy. She seems like a good mom. I'd love to see her daughter,  she was such a cutie last season.  So is Scheana's  daughter. Poor James, he really  wants a family( he supported  his brothers  and mother  for awhile) I hope things work out with Ally.

Raquel/ Rachel  threw everyone  under the bus by the sounds of it I really don't  care. I love Lisa's  house and never mind seeing it.

 

[hoodooznoodooz]

If this had been episode one, I think fewer people would’ve complained about what a bore this season was.

[Chatty Cake]

I’d be delighted to never hear Sheesh or Sandaoval sing again. Their dancing is cringe too.  
Six K a month to rent with a  friend? Damn! Glad Blondie shut him down.

Sandie needs to quit saying he loved Raquel. If he did, he would have broken up with Ariana and come clean. 

 

[snarts]

Sandoval walking into TomTom wearing the same Liz Claiborne pantsuit I bought for my first corporate job out of college...🤣

I knew he'd lowballed Ariana on the house offer, despite claiming it was top market value. He really thought she'd just pack her stuff and leave him everything. Glad she was smart & patient enough to consult an attorney and protect herself financially.

The fact that I've come to literally adore James still shocks me...but he continues to spit facts. #1 guy by a mile.

[Katie W]

1 hour ago, snarts said:

I knew he'd lowballed Ariana on the house offer, despite claiming it was top market value. He really thought she'd just pack her stuff and leave him everything. Glad she was smart & patient enough to consult an attorney and protect herself financially.

That's what was so frustrating in the beginning of the season when people kept telling her to move.  Anyone that's been through a divorce or something similar knows it's not that simple. I'm sure he made her a terrible offer and just expected her to trust him that it was a good offer. I've even read online that he wanted to pay off HIS HELOC loan w/ her HER proceeds of the house. 

[TattleTeeny]

Oooh, man -- I thought James was being more than generous (and surprisingly mature and even keeled) by talking to Tom a little bit about the Racquel podcast. But of course Tom just couldn't stop at "yeah, it sucked, but thank you for asking/caring."

Edited April 17 by TattleTeeny

[Gharlane]

12 hours ago, whydoievencare said:

Sandoval keeps re-writing history, as does Rachel.  He's such a petulant child, his voice is a constant whine.  He still takes no responsibility for anything. He has absolutely no depth.  He's all style and no substance.

Sandoval having style is debatable.

 

11 hours ago, Katesus7 said:

Wait, so when Ariana gets done with figuring out the furniture costs and her lawyers give Sandoval a counter offer, suddenly he’s not that into it? Meaning he realizes he actually CAN’T buy her out?

I thought I heard Sandoval say he wanted to slow-walk it so he could be with Maya for as long as possible.

[TattleTeeny]

He also said some weirdo thing about cutting Mya in half, while he was sitting around with a knife on his leg. Obviously I know it was in jest, but I have a "thing" about even joking like that about animals. I fixate on it and it makes me sad.

Edited April 17 by TattleTeeny

[whydoievencare]

23 minutes ago, Gharlane said:

Sandoval having style is debatable.

Well, that's true.  But I'm sure in his mind he has the most extra style of anyone.

[Kiki777]

24 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

He also said some weirdo thing about cutting Mya in half, while he was sitting around with a knife on his leg. Obviously I know it was in jest, but I have a "thing" about even joking like that about animals. I fixate on it and it makes me sad.

Yeah that was bizarre.  Sure I’d joke with my dog that I was so hungry I’d eat one of his leggies, and even he knew I was kidding - he’d look at me like ‘bitch please, you are not funny’.  

By the way, does anyone else think that Mya just DOES NOT like Tom?  Generally dogs try to suck up to the male of the house but she really seems to ignore him for the most part.  She’s mostly by Ariana’s side, seems to enjoy and welcome guests like Scheana and Schwartz (omg she did a full body wag for him in this episode and that was so cute I had to watch it twice).  But Sandoval?  There seems to be no warmth between them.  So I call BS on his claiming to drag out the sale because of wanting more time with her.

[ZettaK]

On 4/16/2024 at 10:42 PM, whydoievencare said:

And for Schwartz to get a loan?  To pay rent to Sandoval?  What a pig of a "friend".

There were two options. To rent, or to buy (get a loan/refinance) with him. If he decided to get a loan with Sandoval, he would pay his portion of the mortgage, not rent, and he would be an owner, unlike if he just rented. 

Edited April 20 by ZettaK

[MaggieG]

At least Schwartz pushed back on the idea. He would be an idiot to move in with Sandoval. 

I loved James going in on Sandoval. "Rewrite history in your own mind!" 😅

The food at TomTom brunch actually looked good. Or maybe I'm just hungry.

[politichick]

3 hours ago, MaggieG said:

At least Schwartz pushed back on the idea. He would be an idiot to move in with Sandoval. 

I loved James going in on Sandoval. "Rewrite history in your own mind!" 😅

The food at TomTom brunch actually looked good. Or maybe I'm just hungry.

Agree. And that steak looked like heaven!

[Gharlane]

4 hours ago, MaggieG said:

The food at TomTom brunch actually looked good. Or maybe I'm just hungry.

I had to laugh at the sight of successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks taking over a portion of TomTom for her closed restaurant. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

I thought Lala was living in a nice home. Why couldn’t she host her Who’s Your Daddy? party there?

I like the name of her party.

[lasu]

2 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Who’s Your Daddy? party there?

I like the name of her party.

I actually thought the party was cute, all things considered.  I'm not a huge Lala fan, but I don't think she's wrong that this will be a lovely story to tell her child one day.

[ChristmasJones]

During the scene with Lisa at TomTom, looking at her face, it looked like either she had had a mini facelift, was wearing 10 layers of makeup, or they used a customized filter that just blurred out her face and no one else's.   IDK, for some reason, something looked different about her face during that scene. I didn't notice it as much at Lala's party

[hoodooznoodooz]

I need to know why there are so many boxes/shipped items in Sandoval and Ariana’s house. 
 

Amazon/retail therapy? Companies soliciting endorsements? 
 

Their house looked much tidier before Scandoval. 

[Lassus]

On 4/16/2024 at 10:40 PM, princelina said:

At last year's reunion when. Andy asked him if he was in love he could barely choke out an obligatory "yes" so I'm not believing his grand passion this year.

To be fair, the time between the reunion and this whatever from him is like four or five months?

On 4/17/2024 at 7:51 AM, snarts said:

The fact that I've come to literally adore James still shocks me...but he continues to spit facts. #1 guy by a mile.

Counterpoint:  Very VERY low bar, and it's not hard to find endless footage of James being a massive asshole.

[Lassus]

22 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

He also said some weirdo thing about cutting Mya in half

It fell flat, because he's a fucking gross idiot, but this may have been an attempt to reference the Solomon tale of how to solve the custody debate of a baby.

Edited April 18 by Lassus

[princelina]

21 minutes ago, Lassus said:

To be fair, the time between the reunion and this whatever from him is like four or five months?

So are you saying he "fell in love with her" after the reunion?  I agree with James - we all saw him when he was actually in love with Ariana, and none of his interactions with Raquel showed me "love".  They barely showed attraction actually - IMO it was mostly an ego thing with him.  And now he's looking for sympathy and storyline.

[Lassus]

4 minutes ago, princelina said:

So are you saying he "fell in love with her" after the reunion?  I agree with James - we all saw him when he was actually in love with Ariana, and none of his interactions with Raquel showed me "love".

It was more a response to the idea that he actually said these things a year apart from the reunion.  

I think that it's difficult to get into the brain of a weirdo liar scumbag, but I'm sure he thought he was in love with R. at some point.  I think him being such a clueless hypocritical selfish drama queen is pretty hilarious; but him being legitimately sad about it - of course, for the most self-centered reasons - I find no massive reason to doubt it.

I didn't mean for my response to be a YOU'RE WRONG, just an alternate opinion with some timeline confirmation.

[politichick]

16 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I thought Lala was living in a nice home. Why couldn’t she host her Who’s Your Daddy? party there?

I like the name of her party.

I think at the time she was living in an apartment, so not a lot of room. The nice house was owned by Randall, who kicked her out.

[Kiki777]

8 hours ago, Lassus said:

It fell flat, because he's a fucking gross idiot, but this may have been an attempt to reference the Solomon tale of how to solve the custody debate of a baby.

I thought so too at first but doubt Sandy would have known about that story.

Anyone else think LaLa timed her insemination so that her pregnancy could be her storyline for next season?

Edited April 18 by Kiki777

[choclatechip45]

Of course Tom can’t buy Ariana out. He’s so dumb.

[hatchetgirl]

On 4/17/2024 at 2:54 PM, lasu said:

I don't think she's wrong that this will be a lovely story to tell her child one day.

She can say "so baby 2, i was happy with baby 1, but baby 1 i had to share with DickFace.  I decided with you, i'd pick you and love you best because you would be all mine and i'd never ever have to share you with creepy creep face who's a disgusting pig and baby 1's daddy.  OH HI BABY 1...." 

lol

  

10 hours ago, Lassus said:

On 4/17/2024 at 4:51 AM, snarts said:

The fact that I've come to literally adore James still shocks me...but he continues to spit facts. #1 guy by a mile.

Counterpoint:  Very VERY low bar, and it's not hard to find endless footage of James being a massive asshole.

Thank you!  James may be good with a turn of phrase but we have seen him do some truly toxic shit.  

Edited April 18 by hatchetgirl
Adding info

[hoodooznoodooz]

I am confused. Why are they making a Good as Gold music video ten years after Scheana first recorded/released the “song”?
 

Can Lala actually play the drums?

Okay. Rewatching. Lala can not actually play the drums.

Edited April 20 by hoodooznoodooz

[hoodooznoodooz]

LVP, you are one of the reasons Sandoval has become so arrogant, and feels he can keep you waiting for thirty minutes.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Do we think that Ann labeled all of the Ariana boxes, dotting the Is with ❤️s?

[hoodooznoodooz]

So Ariana is justifiably boasting/gloating that Tom should have agreed to sell the house back in March 2023. Ariana would have been out of the house a long time ago.

But it does seem that she and her lawyer took their sweet time sending a counteroffer, no? I can understand due diligence requiring one or two weeks, but not two-plus months. 

I have no idea what interest rates were back in March, compared to August.

Edited April 19 by hoodooznoodooz

[hoodooznoodooz]

Which is the worst?

-Sandoval’s “singing”

-Sandoval’s “dancing”

-Sandoval’s “crying”

[hoodooznoodooz]

The sperm looked like tadpoles.

 

How many VPR viewers asked their tall male friends, “Didn’t you tell me that your favorite song is Grown Ocean?”

[hoodooznoodooz]

Last season, did Rachel tell them in the car that James raged during the holidays and body-shamed her mother? 
 

I suppose he’s thinking he dodged yet another bullet, since Ally Bally’s mother is slim. 

James’s rapping skillz strike again: he called their cat Mr. Bister, I believe.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Kristen looks really pretty in the After Show.

 

Rachel couldn’t persuade many individuals to attend her

Puppy Shower.
 

But Lala throws a

SPERM DONOR PARTY,

 

and guests enthusiastically show up and seem genuinely excited for her when she announces her choice.

Edited April 19 by hoodooznoodooz

[hoodooznoodooz]

They released Good Will Hunting in 1997.

[hoodooznoodooz]

I hope Lala’s caterers had more mac’ ‘n’ cheese on stand-by.

Pink and grey balloons…? Was that a specific, literal interpretation of the event?

[hoodooznoodooz]

In the Chili’s advertisement/commercial, at the end, Scheana says “expresso,” instead of “espresso.”

(At first, I thought the not-famous guy, who just likes Chili’s, was the California Cryobank guy.)