Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, isalicat said:

Wow, you guys get to choose what side of the bed you sleep on? I have a queen bed and my tom cat takes up fully half of it - whatever half he wants. 😸

I've always wound up with cats who sleep on top of/tucked right up next to me (amusing, since I love it, but cannot stand another human being even in the same bed let alone committing the unpardonable crime of touching me or spewing hot nostril air on me -- as Janeane Garafalo said in one of her stand-up routines, after sex I am like a bartender at closing time; you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here).  But when I would catsit at my parents' house while Bandit and Chester were alive, they'd each claim a side of me, and I'd somehow wind up with a much smaller middle slice of a king-size bed than a human sharing with two felines should have available.  And when they'd claim their sides before I even got in bed, I'd have to crawl up from the bottom of the bed and wiggle my way under the covers.

Even though it's a little early, Riley (my cat) is ready for the down blanket before I am, so - with this discussion in my mind - when I changed sheets this afternoon I decided to also change blankets.  Which means my semi-annual washing of the bed skirt, comforter, pillow shams, etc.  That's all finally done, with the last load of regular laundry in the dryer, so tomorrow can be a nice, relaxing day of football -- no chores, no errands.

[shapeshifter]

11 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

I have a queen bed but I always sleep on the same side of it.  

 

I switched it up last night.  Slept on the left side.  The other side felt more worn in at this point 

I’m a small-boned shape, so I slept on a twin bed for about 25 years since it took up less space (think: lower rent, 2 dressers). 
I rotate the mattress (not flip) every time I change the sheets.
When I moved near my daughter, she gave me their 2-year old queen bed.
I appreciate being able to switch sides on the queen so it doesn’t feel like I’m laying in a pit.
I may be moving soon to a smaller place with a small bedroom, and am considering downsizing to a full bed. 

Edited November 12, 2023 by shapeshifter

[annzeepark914]

I heard (just a couple) fireworks last night so I guess that was someone celebrating Diwali ☺️. 

[ECM1231]

That's beautiful, @GHScorpiosRule! Happy Diwali!

May I ask a question? Is it considered cultural appropriation for a non-Indian to have henna designs on their hands? Is it an Indian thing, or a Hindu thing? I know there are Muslims in India too.

The reason I ask is because my daughter -in- law often gets henna designs on her hands for special occasions. She did for her wedding to my son in September. She's not Hindu or Muslim. She's African American and we are Caucasian. It looks really beautiful on her, but I did find it a little bit odd. 

 

[Spartan Girl]

Happy Diwali, @GHScorpiosRule! 
 

[shapeshifter]

18 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

That's beautiful, @GHScorpiosRule! Happy Diwali!

May I ask a question? Is it considered cultural appropriation for a non-Indian to have henna designs on their hands? Is it an Indian thing, or a Hindu thing? I know there are Muslims in India too.

The reason I ask is because my daughter -in- law often gets henna designs on her hands for special occasions. She did for her wedding to my son in September. She's not Hindu or Muslim. She's African American and we are Caucasian. It looks really beautiful on her, but I did find it a little bit odd. 

Is it possible your African American DIL has some Hindu ancestry or other connection to the Hindu community?

[ECM1231]

None at all, @shapeshifter.

[RealHousewife]

Not sure who remembers me complaining about at man at work making me uncomfortable, but I have an update for those who might. 

I don't know all of the details about it, but he was let go. Someone actually reported him before I did. I am relieved now, but when I first got the news, had mixed emotions. The guy was somewhat of a friend. I had known him for many years. I felt horrible he lost his job just before the holidays. I felt relieved that I wasn't some uptight prude, and it wasn't just all in my head that the guy was inappropriate. I also felt a bit dumb that things were brought up that I didn't even consider harassment. I honestly thought they might just reprimand him or make sure I wouldn't have to interact with him. I was told the harassment was so bad I could have sued. I don't know if it's because I worked exclusively with men at one point, have worked with bigger creepers, childhood trauma or what. I'm not certain who reported him and what was said, but I am curious what would have happened if no one backed up my experiences or vice versa. Strength in numbers.

Anyhow, thank you for letting me vent. Being involved in a sexual harassment situation can be embarrassing to discuss with family and friends. 

[emma675]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

Being involved in a sexual harassment situation can be embarrassing to discuss with family and friends.

And that's just the thing, it shouldn't be. I think harrassers depend on their victims being embarrassed, thinking they are making too big of a deal about it, or rationalizing away the abuse so they don't report it. As women, we need to stop doing this (and yes, I realize the irony of the onus being on us once again) and get mad, not embarrassed. Like you discovered, there may be other victims and there is strength in numbers. 

I'm glad it's been handled in the right way and you don't have to worry about this asshole anymore. Work is hard enough without having to deal with stuff like this.

[Browncoat]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

The guy was somewhat of a friend.

From what you have said, he was not at all a friend.

[GHScorpiosRule]

4 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

That's beautiful, @GHScorpiosRule! Happy Diwali!

May I ask a question? Is it considered cultural appropriation for a non-Indian to have henna designs on their hands? Is it an Indian thing, or a Hindu thing? I know there are Muslims in India too.

The reason I ask is because my daughter -in- law often gets henna designs on her hands for special occasions. She did for her wedding to my son in September. She's not Hindu or Muslim. She's African American and we are Caucasian. It looks really beautiful on her, but I did find it a little bit odd. 

 

I don’t know. I’ll have to check.

Color came out great- Didn’t have anyone to take it , so one at a time.

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Not sure who remembers me complaining about at man at work making me uncomfortable, but I have an update for those who might. 

I don't know all of the details about it, but he was let go. Someone actually reported him before I did. I am relieved now, but when I first got the news, had mixed emotions. The guy was somewhat of a friend. I had known him for many years. I felt horrible he lost his job just before the holidays. I felt relieved that I wasn't some uptight prude, and it wasn't just all in my head that the guy was inappropriate. I also felt a bit dumb that things were brought up that I didn't even consider harassment. I honestly thought they might just reprimand him or make sure I wouldn't have to interact with him. I was told the harassment was so bad I could have sued. I don't know if it's because I worked exclusively with men at one point, have worked with bigger creepers, childhood trauma or what. I'm not certain who reported him and what was said, but I am curious what would have happened if no one backed up my experiences or vice versa. Strength in numbers.

Anyhow, thank you for letting me vent. Being involved in a sexual harassment situation can be embarrassing to discuss with family and friends. 

Thank you for sharing the outcome with us.
This is an affirmation for me and all my experiences. 

About your empathy towards him getting fired etc.: 
I think empathy is always a good thing, but likely if he was fired, this was not anywhere near the first complaint. I presume he had been given warnings and maybe even have been required to attend a workshop or at least complete an online course. 
Possibly his harassment had escalated to a level of sexual assault with one or more coworkers? 
Hopefully he will take his firing seriously and not play the victim. 
If you should encounter him anywhere outside of work, the best you can do for him is to not sympathize with any claims he makes to having been treated unfairly, and, most importantly, do not engage in conversation with him, but rather go on about your business quickly, away from him.❣️ 

[Laura Holt]

8 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I think empathy is always a good thing, but likely if he was fired, this was not anywhere near the first complaint.

My SIL had been trying to fire an employee for the past year for various infractions but had no success because nothing ever rose to a fireable offense in the eyes of HR.  Until last week when he verbally and physically assaulted an employee in another department.   HR had dragged its feet BUT all the complaints had been kept on file. 

It's too bad that they had to wait until another employee was actually hurt in order to do anything though 😡.  But in any event I think @RealHousewife this is exactly what happened in your situation as well.  One complaint won't do it (usually) but I am betting there was already a file open on this guy.

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I think empathy is always a good thing, but likely if he was fired, this was not anywhere near the first complaint.

Bingo.  Or if it was, it was for an absolutely egregious act; as someone who litigates sexual harassment claims, I can attest that what practically every woman's lived experience of our sexist society would suggest is the case is actually the case -- companies are generally slow to act on complaints.

Edited November 12, 2023 by Bastet

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I don’t know. I’ll have to check.

Color came out great- Didn’t have anyone to take it , so one at a time.

I mean, I know non-South Asians who’ve been involved with their South Asian friends’ weddings who’ve had henna done.  But I suppose that’s something different. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

18 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I mean, I know non-South Asians who’ve been involved with their South Asian friends’ weddings who’ve had henna done.  But I suppose that’s something different. 

Right. I remember during one of Madonna’s phases, she was sporting Bindis? and Henna and everyone thought it was soooo exotic. It pissed me off because I was treated like I had some disease when I had it. I think it was just the Henna-and she was definitely appropriating it as if she’d discovered it. When it’s been used for centuries in India and the Middle East.

Though in the Middle East I think they use the blue tint.

I know a lot of my culture but not everything, so will need to ask my parents. Google and Wiki aren’t the be all and know all.

[PRgal]

3 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Right. I remember during one of Madonna’s phases, she was sporting Bindis? and Henna and everyone thought it was soooo exotic. It pissed me off because I was treated like I had some disease when I had it. I think it was just the Henna-and she was definitely appropriating it as if she’d discovered it. When it’s been used for centuries in India and the Middle East.

Though in the Middle East I think they use the blue tint.

I know a lot of my culture but not everything, so will need to ask my parents. Google and Wiki aren’t the be all and know all.

And different people take offence differently.  What one person considers "appropriation" is considered "respect" by another.  Wearing a t-shirt with the Chinese word for "wood" may be be considered appropriation to some, but hey, if that's your element, then that's your element (if you believe in those things).  I don't see it that way.  I have a sweater that says "très bien" across the chest.  I'm sure francophones would roll their eyes (I see it as a "proud to be part of the IBTC*" sweater).  

* Itty Bitty T****Y Club

Edited November 13, 2023 by PRgal

[GHScorpiosRule]

With the sari and chudis :

[Ancaster]

I've been binge watching Sex Education on Netflix and I'm up to the final season and, Oh My Word, David from $hitt's Creek is on my screen!  On a British show that I'm loving!   I love him (Dan Levi is the actor).  I'm so excited I can barely contain myself!  Can you tell?

Incidentally, both these shows are fabulous and I highly recommend them.  They are both a bit (well, a lot in the case of Sex Education!) out there.  Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you like things that are funny, edgy, quirky, with fantastic actors, writing, and direction I encourage you all to give them a go!

 

 

 

[Cloud9Shopper]

I feel so embarrassed/upset this morning. I turned off an auto pay for a personal loan last week since I knew I could pay it after I got paid this Wednesday and wouldn’t hurt my credit. (They give a grace period before they charge a late fee and I would have been within the grace.) Woke up this morning and I guess I turned off the auto pay too late and had two alerts from my bank that I had a negative balance two days before payday, so I had to opt to return the loan payment and will get hit with an insufficient funds fee from the loan company. I have been paying the loan off for three years and that’s the first time this ever happened. I have always had the funds to pay them otherwise. 

This is also the first time that I can recall that I have been so badly overdrawn with my current bank. And I’m so ashamed of it. I know things happen but it’s one of those things that shouldn’t when you’re an adult with enough life experience to know better. My credit just went up 23 points too and I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes a huge hit for this even though I’m going to reschedule the loan payment. 

Hopefully next year I can find a better paying job or start a side gig that will earn me enough money so I don’t end up in this position anymore, especially since I anticipate paying off two debts next year as well. It seems like financial mistakes and struggles are the hardest thing to bounce back from. I anticipate things getting better next year with eliminating two debts but I estimate another 2-3 years before I am actually significantly better off. 

Edited November 13, 2023 by Cloud9Shopper

[ginger90]

28 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I have been paying the loan off for three years and that’s the first time this ever happened.

Ask them to wave the fee if it’s the first time this has happened.

[PRgal]

My upcoming kids’ book is now listed as “coming soon” on the publisher’s website!

We’re looking at early 2024, (hopefully) in time for Lunar New Year.  It’s going to be a little different from other Lunar New Year books, not only because it’s about an interfaith family, but because the (little) Chinese used in it is Cantonese. 

(Admin:  feel free to move to Gratefulness and Smiles if you feel it’s more appropriate there)

Edited November 13, 2023 by PRgal

[TattleTeeny]

RANDOM: Does anyone know about spiders in NJ and their hibernation habits?

For a long time, I have had what I think is an orb weaver living between my living room window and screen. S/he's built an impressive web in there and I have grown to love seeing him/her every day -- usually early in the morning and after 6 pm (not sure where she is between those hours). Anyway, I haven't seen him/her in the last 24 hours. I am truly hoping s/he didn't die. 

I know it's silly to expect to know where (or if) s/he is, but s/he became important to me, for whatever reason.

 

Edited November 14, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[peacheslatour]

41 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

RANDOM: Does anyone know about spiders in NJ and their hibernation habits?

For a long time, I have had what I think is an orb weaver living between my living room window and screen. S/he's built an impressive web in there and I have grown to love seeing him/her every day -- usually early in the morning and after 6 pm (not sure where she is between those hours). Anyway, I haven't seen him/her in the last 24 hours. I am truly hoping s/he didn't die. 

I know it's silly to expect to know where (or if) s/he is, but s/he became important to me, for whatever reason. Here s/he is...

She should have laid her eggs by now. Hibernation maybe? Sadly, they only live one to two years. 

[TattleTeeny]

Thank you. I knew I should have pretended not to notice her. Can you tell for sure if she's a girl? I didn't know, but I named her Donna.

[peacheslatour]

1 minute ago, TattleTeeny said:

Thank you. I knew I should have pretended not to notice her. Can you tell for sure if she's a girl? I didn't know, but I named her Donna.

Yep. The females are generally the only ones who build webs. The males will if there are extreme circumstances. The males also die right after mating so, yeah.

[TattleTeeny]

Thanks. Man, I'll miss her. I loved that she had such a schedule and I loved seeing her where she "belonged" after I finished working. I like to think she was happy here. I wonder what she thought when my cats sat on the window sill right next to her spot.

ETA: Just saw her way down in the corner, so I guess (HOPE!) I have her for a while more. 

Edited November 13, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[Ancaster]

59 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Thanks. Man, I'll miss her. I loved that she had such a schedule and I loved seeing her where she "belonged" after I finished working. I like to think she was happy here. I wonder what she thought when my cats sat on the window sill right next to her spot.

ETA: Just saw her way down in the corner, so I guess (HOPE!) I have her for a while more. 

Now you're just making me think of Charlotte's Web.   "That" scene always made me cry, even as an adult reading it to my daughters.

[TattleTeeny]

Me too. I confess, I already cried a little bit.

Quote

I should live in Europe.  I toss food if it's actually gone bad (I sniff, touch, and taste), not if some arbitrary date has passed, and I shower daily (well, nightly, in my case) on those rare weeks I have exercised or otherwise physically exerted myself each evening, but if I've just sat at my desk all day, there is no need for a shower that night.  (I do wash my feet, though, since I walk around barefoot all day and like to slather lotion onto clean feet when I get into bed.)

I'm pretty similar to all of this, though I do like a shower to "punctuate" the end of the work day, even though I work at home at a desk. I know what my "repeat foods" are supposed to be like so if it's not an egregious amount of time past the date, I rely on my intuition. 

@peacheslatour Was I correct in assuming that Donna is an orb weaver?

Edited November 13, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[peacheslatour]

Quote

@peacheslatour Was I correct in assuming that Donna is an orb weaver?

Yes There are about a million different kinds of them though.

[TattleTeeny]

Thank you! I did look at images, but none was quite like my Donna!

[peacheslatour]

6 hours ago, PRgal said:

My upcoming kids’ book is now listed as “coming soon” on the publisher’s website!

We’re looking at early 2024, (hopefully) in time for Lunar New Year.  It’s going to be a little different from other Lunar New Year books, not only because it’s about an interfaith family, but because the (little) Chinese used in it is Cantonese. 

(Admin:  feel free to move to Gratefulness and Smiles if you feel it’s more appropriate there)

Your book is adorable! It looks really good. I hope you sell a million of them.

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Your book is adorable! It looks really good. I hope you sell a million of them.

My dad thinks the story is too niche.  I told him that schools would love it since it adds to their “diversity” collection.  I’ve already contacted my son’s school’s library, but have yet to hear back.  

[Browncoat]

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  Please warn me before you post giant photos of spiders!  

 

Ahem.  The seek app tells me it's a grass spider:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agelenopsis

[TattleTeeny]

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I will try to spoiler her! And thank you for the info.

Edit: I couldn’t figure out how, so I deleted the picture. I guess I completely forgot that spiders are upsetting to some people. 

Edited November 14, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[Browncoat]

6 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I will try to spoiler her! And thank you for the info.

Edit: I couldn’t figure out how, so I deleted the picture. I guess I completely forgot that spiders are upsetting to some people. 

I'm somewhat okay with spiders unless they surprise me.  A spoiler box will work -- just tell me it's a spider before I click on it.  🙂

[annzeepark914]

11 hours ago, PRgal said:

My upcoming kids’ book is now listed as “coming soon” on the publisher’s website!

We’re looking at early 2024, (hopefully) in time for Lunar New Year.  It’s going to be a little different from other Lunar New Year books, not only because it’s about an interfaith family, but because the (little) Chinese used in it is Cantonese. 

What a great idea for a kids' book. So many children are a part of multi-ethnic families today. Congratulations! 💐🥂

[roseha]

Congratulations @PRgal!  I hope your book will be a great success.

Maybe I missed it but how did you arrange working with the illustrator?  Did you already know each other?

[PRgal]

18 hours ago, roseha said:

Congratulations @PRgal!  I hope your book will be a great success.

Maybe I missed it but how did you arrange working with the illustrator?  Did you already know each other?

I kind of "found" her.  I was at a holiday market and a woman was selling HER books.  I asked her about her illustrator, followed the illustrator on Instagram and messaged her the following day.   

Edited November 14, 2023 by PRgal

[oliviabenson]

Thinking it’s not that cold let me skip wearing a sweater. Big mistake I’m freezing cold. 

[oliviabenson]

[Gramto6]

On 11/13/2023 at 6:17 AM, PRgal said:

My upcoming kids’ book is now listed as “coming soon” on the publisher’s website!

We’re looking at early 2024, (hopefully) in time for Lunar New Year.  It’s going to be a little different from other Lunar New Year books, not only because it’s about an interfaith family, but because the (little) Chinese used in it is Cantonese. 

(Admin:  feel free to move to Gratefulness and Smiles if you feel it’s more appropriate there)

Congratulations! It is indeed a great idea! I wish you much success with it!

[Ancaster]

On 11/13/2023 at 5:17 AM, PRgal said:

My upcoming kids’ book is now listed as “coming soon” on the publisher’s website!

We’re looking at early 2024, (hopefully) in time for Lunar New Year.  It’s going to be a little different from other Lunar New Year books, not only because it’s about an interfaith family, but because the (little) Chinese used in it is Cantonese. 

(Admin:  feel free to move to Gratefulness and Smiles if you feel it’s more appropriate there)

Your illustrator is from Ancaster!  😄

[Ancaster]

On 11/13/2023 at 1:24 PM, PRgal said:

My dad thinks the story is too niche.  I told him that schools would love it since it adds to their “diversity” collection.  I’ve already contacted my son’s school’s library, but have yet to hear back.  

Congratulations PRgal - that's huge!

Your story's not too niche at all, there are a lot of multicultural families that it will speak to.  I mean it is niche, but not too niche.  Does that make any sense at all?!  Your problem in this over-saturated market (cute children's books!) is going to be getting yourself out there.  Hopefully your publisher will target synagogue giftshops and independent bookstores in large urban multicultural markets like Toronto (obviously!), San Francisco, Vancouver, NYC, etc.

Good luck!  I assume you'll be doing bookstore appearances?  If your publisher is not terribly helpful, there's stuff you can do yourself, like making a list of synagogues to send a press release to.  I'm speaking from the Jewish side, but presumably there are places you can target from the Chinese/Hong Kong cultural side too?

(Former book editor here.)

Edited November 16, 2023 by Ancaster

[EtheltoTillie]

I’m looking forward to reading this book. I grew up in a Jewish family with intermarriages with Italians. My husband is Italian/Irish. We celebrate everything. I really like the illustration style too. 

I should contact my downstairs neighbor. Wife Chinese. Husband mixed Jewish Irish/Italian. Husband’s mother is a famous novelist. Hmmm. 

Edited November 16, 2023 by EtheltoTillie

[PRgal]

10 hours ago, Ancaster said:

Congratulations PRgal - that's huge!

Your story's not too niche at all, there are a lot of multicultural families that it will speak to.  I mean it is niche, but not too niche.  Does that make any sense at all?!  Your problem in this over-saturated market (cute children's books!) is going to be getting yourself out there.  Hopefully your publisher will target synagogue giftshops and independent bookstores in large urban multicultural markets like Toronto (obviously!), San Francisco, Vancouver, NYC, etc.

Good luck!  I assume you'll be doing bookstore appearances?  If your publisher is not terribly helpful, there's stuff you can do yourself, like making a list of synagogues to send a press release to.  I'm speaking from the Jewish side, but presumably there are places you can target from the Chinese/Hong Kong cultural side too?

(Former book editor here.)

I'm hoping to do bookstore, library and school appearances, both in-person and virtual.  I haven't started gathering my list of local stores yet.  I also think the Jewish side might be more willing to carry this than Chinese/Hong Kong shops - the vast majority still cater to the immigrant, non-Anglophone population and the book is completely in English (with some Cantonese, Hebrew and Yiddish terms spelled out phonetically).  I will mostly be doing my own PR but will be paired with a marketing advisor from the publisher.  

 

4 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I’m looking forward to reading this book. I grew up in a Jewish family with intermarriages with Italians. My husband is Italian/Irish. We celebrate everything. I really like the illustration style too. 

I should contact my downstairs neighbor. Wife Chinese. Husband mixed Jewish Irish/Italian. Husband’s mother is a famous novelist. Hmmm. 

I'll let everyone know when pre-orders start!!  Famous novelist, huh? And Jewish-Italian/Irish intermarriages.  That's a lot of carbs (I'm also trying to think of food that can incorporates all three cultures....ummmmm....soda bread challah paninis, maybe?)!  And guilt.  #sorrynotsorry

[oliviabenson]

I wrote a giant rant then deleted it since I felt better lol.

Today I’m wearing 2 sweaters ha. Not freezing today.

[EtheltoTillie]

21 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I'm hoping to do bookstore, library and school appearances, both in-person and virtual.  I haven't started gathering my list of local stores yet.  I also think the Jewish side might be more willing to carry this than Chinese/Hong Kong shops - the vast majority still cater to the immigrant, non-Anglophone population and the book is completely in English (with some Cantonese, Hebrew and Yiddish terms spelled out phonetically).  I will mostly be doing my own PR but will be paired with a marketing advisor from the publisher.  

 

I'll let everyone know when pre-orders start!!  Famous novelist, huh? And Jewish-Italian/Irish intermarriages.  That's a lot of carbs (I'm also trying to think of food that can incorporates all three cultures....ummmmm....soda bread challah paninis, maybe?)!  And guilt.  #sorrynotsorry

My uncle's mother, born in Naples, used to make handmade ravioli.  My husband's grandmother used to make mountains of lasagnea, spaghetti, meatballs, brasciole and sausage for any holiday. 

No one makes Irish food in my husband's family. 

[Ancaster]

27 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I'm hoping to do bookstore, library and school appearances, both in-person and virtual.  I haven't started gathering my list of local stores yet.  I also think the Jewish side might be more willing to carry this than Chinese/Hong Kong shops - the vast majority still cater to the immigrant, non-Anglophone population and the book is completely in English (with some Cantonese, Hebrew and Yiddish terms spelled out phonetically).  I will mostly be doing my own PR but will be paired with a marketing advisor from the publisher.  

 

Sometime next spring/early summer you should push your publisher's advisor to get the word out to all the North American libraries well in advance of the High Holidays.  I don't know the mechanics anymore, but there have to be centralized systems to target Canadian and US libraries.  Don't be afraid to bug the publisher, they want you to do well, but in today's publishing economy there's not much money to go around, and you know what they say about the squeaky wheel.

[oliviabenson]

12 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

My uncle's mother, born in Naples, used to make handmade ravioli.  My husband's grandmother used to make mountains of lasagnea, spaghetti, meatballs, brasciole and sausage for any holiday. 

No one makes Irish food in my husband's family. 

Now I want lasagna haha