S01.E13: The Long Fjord-Bye

[TexasGal]

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After Kerry calls out her intimidating behavior, Jess makes a decision on whether or not to leave the Mercury; Faye faces her toughest test yet when she has to model the primary's dress at a photo shoot; Seth confronts Kasie.

Airdate: 01.31.2023

[Steph J]

Seth is so cringe.

[Tanukisan]

Like an unhappy chef who doesn’t want to be here anymore, these comments are in the order of the episode scenes broadcast…

Hey, Captain Clueless – perhaps it’s best not to demean the chef on the last day of the last charter, eh?

So Jess decides to honour the obligation she originally signed up for.  Expecting a trophy, are we?

Chav Faye: “I do feel like Cinderella: cleaning toilets and mopping floors.”  But still and all, you’re a good sport for modeling the gown and you don’t look half bad.  Similarly, Kasie looks great in her gown as well.  Well done, ladies. 

Jess, back to work after quitting – “I’m just hoping Kerry can see the change.”  Um, no.  You haven’t changed, Jess.  You’re still a big bag of mess in the head.

Seth confronts Kasie over the picture she took of him while sleeping – and she stands her ground.  You rock, Kasie!  Seth is an ambitious idiot. 

Ryan, first offcer appears for 2 seconds, what, the second time in the season?  Those fire alarums could be a problem!

You know it’s a boring episode when they draw out the docking sequence and everything is normal.

The end of the charter and half the episode left?  What can happen…

OMG, the exchange between Chav Faye and Seth -- <gagging>.  Seth, you’re a dick.  And I mean that in the most uncomplimentary way.

So Chav Faye goes to Seth’s bunk to tease him… then leaves.  Looks like there’s two dicks.

 

So what have we learnt…

For this series – Norway is the star.  By far and away the best and highlight of the season.

Captain Clueless – not much respect for you, brah.  You seem reluctant to notice any real problems before they become major problems.

Chav Faye – you are the quintessential definition of Chavette, and I have looked down on you through most of the season.  But I have to admit you redeemed yourself somewhat at the end.  Kind of a proper finale, like.

Little Lewis – bosun wannabe.  You have no real skill there.

Mike – who?

Nathan – competent deckhand -- too bad you had to suffer at the hands of Kyle and Seth.

Seth – the very definition of dickhead.

Kasie – very capable and the best stew.  And hot.

Oriana – OK.

Jess – would be a great chef – in a hospital where she lived.  Way too temperamental to survive in the real world.

All in all, the show was more frustrating than entertaining.  If it weren’t for Norway itself, I would have given up.  But so long everyone, and thanks for all the fish!

[rur]

39 minutes ago, Steph J said:

Seth is so cringe.

Seriously -- bragging about how quickly he advanced through the ranks in his final talking head. Loved it when the off-camera voice asked him what he was the bosun of. 

[Steph J]

25 minutes ago, rur said:

Seriously -- bragging about how quickly he advanced through the ranks in his final talking head. Loved it when the off-camera voice asked him what he was the bosun of. 

Makes you wonder about his claims of having captained another boat. Was he captain in the same way he was bosun?

[aghst]

The whole lead up about Jess walking off was faked.

Faye, Kerry and crew didn’t even remark much when they pretended she was leaving.

If it was a real charter, they’d be running around like their hair was on fire, with three more meals to serve.

Amazing how the drama just disappeared.  Like they just simply turned off the faucet.

Highlight of the episode was the dinner at the restaurant with the views.  Normally people walk up 400 steps to that place and the lookouts up there but they just rode up and down in taxis.

[Baltimore Betty]

I'm confused about Jess thinking that the dinner was the meal she had to prepare since the guests were departing in the morning wouldn't she have had to make breakfast for them?  Jess may have an anxiety problem.

Seth asking for Lewis to transfer the bosun title seemed really strange but credit to Lewis for saying ok just to shut Seth up...I wonder if Seth will be putting that on his CV, anyone wanting to hire him will surely do a shallow dive in to his stint on BDA and see it was fake.

I did notice that the clothing designer never wore any of her own creations.  The two dresses looked like design school final projects, amazing how they fit both the girls to a tee but if it were truly important to Carol the designer wouldn't she have had hair and makeup, jewelry, shoes, better lighting and been more concerned about the random photographer that was hired for her...fake fashion and I use the  term "fashion," loosely.

 

 

[nokat]

3 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Jess may have an anxiety problem.

Yes, and that would be bossy ass bitch Faye. She a snake who shit talks about Jess every chance she gets. "I don't know why there isn't food on the table." Maybe go look in the kitchen. Jess can't snap her fingers and make food magically appear. 

I hate Faye's attitude, her voice, and her nasty, ratty hair.

Sorry, I needed to get that out. I guess I'm in the minority, but that's my opinion.

[Jack Sampson]

Seth's CV now reads "I was hired as a deckhand but my knowledge and leadership skills were quickly recognized and I was promoted all the way to Bosun in under 2 weeks."

[iMonrey]

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All in all, the show was more frustrating than entertaining.

That about sums it up. Altogether I consider the season a fail. A fail in casting, and a fail in concept. The "adventure" aspect felt tacked on just to differentiate this edition from the rest of the franchise. It felt haphazard and poorly planned every time. The goobers they hired to play stews and deckhands did not have the wherewithal to properly manage these excursions. And that's not their fault, it's the fault of production for failing to cast the right people or to organize these outings behind the scenes. I suppose it's possible they wanted the chaos for the sake of drama, but given that this was supposed to be the "adventure" edition it just ended up looking like a failure all around.

If they do another season of this they need to hire more qualified people. This sort of concept calls for more than the usual himbos and bimbos they always cast to swab decks and clean cabins. Faye and Lewis didn't even seem qualified to be Chief Stew and Bosun. They surely knew Kyle, Seth and Jess were going to be trouble and because they like that they threw them in there. As it is, I'm sick of that on the other editions of this franchise, but it was an even bigger problem here.

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Seth is so cringe.

There's something seriously wrong with him. I about died when he confronted Kasie and accused her of having a crush on him. And she laughed in his face.

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I hate Faye's attitude, her voice, and her nasty, ratty hair.

Faye has a very high pitched, somewhat nasal voice coupled with a very thick English accent. I can see why that would be triggering. I don't know that it's something she can necessarily help though. On the other hand, she may have "shit talked about Jess" but she consistently tried to work with her, encourage her and talk her down when she was spiraling. Jess is just wound too tight and completely unqualified for this kind of work. I do not believe it would have been any different with any other Chief Stew.

Edited February 1, 2023 by iMonrey

[aghst]

The adventure thing was a gimmick.

None of the guests were hardcore adventure or extreme sports types.

They set it in Norway and had to come up with a hook, to justify another BD show.

These guests probably applied to be on any BD show and Bravo picked them to do the Norway show.

I would doubt that they all preferred to go up to Norway in the cold as opposed to going to the Mediterranean in the summer.

Not that Norway doesn't merit a visit, just that if you're going to be on a boat, you can do more in warmer weather.  Don't tell me going on a zip line made these guests choose to go to Norway.  Well at least the charters were only a couple of days.

Hell remember that one guest who was supposedly annoyed that there were no grits up in Norway?  She played along for the cameras but she didn't choose Norway, Bravo chose Norway for her.  That's how much these people wanted to be on TV.

 

 

 

[Tanukisan]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

Faye has a very high pitched, somewhat nasal voice coupled with a very thick Aussie accent.

Not to be pedantic about this, but Faye was born and raised in Southeast London, not Australia.  Those of us from the UK are a bit sensitive about accents, etc.  For example, I have many Kiwi friends who are frustrated no end that many people not from there can't discern between an Australian versus New Zealand accent.  Even in the UK, many natives where I'm from in East Anglia can't understand people from Cornwall or Manchester or Yorkshire (not to mention Wales).  "It's like they speak a different language."  But I digress...  Faye is from SE London, which makes her a chav(ette).  Were she from Australia, I'd call her a Bogan.  (:   Cheers, mate!  (:

[Booger666]

1 hour ago, nokat said:

I hate Faye's attitude, her voice, and her nasty, ratty hair.

Sorry, I needed to get that out. I guess I'm in the minority, but that's my opinion.

I’m in total agreement.  Think she’s a terrible chief stew and if I were on charter with her I would find a way to swim to shore.  Ugh.

[snarts]

2 hours ago, nokat said:

I hate Faye's attitude, her voice, and her nasty, ratty hair.

Add bad taste to the list. She's the only one who liked douchy Seth. Accusing Casie of having a crush? Yeah, right. I love that she laughed in his face. Would've been better had she not used the stupid Madonna-like accent that seems to come & go mid conversation.

Other than maybe Nathan/Orianna, there's no one on this cast again that I want to see again. 

Edited February 1, 2023 by snarts

[iMonrey]

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They set it in Norway and had to come up with a hook, to justify another BD show.

Why? "Down Under" didn't have any special hook aside from being . . . down under. Why not just do "Below Deck Norway?" The adventure part was just lame and seemed so amateurish. 

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Not to be pedantic about this, but Faye was born and raised in Southeast London, not Australia. 

Fixed! Thanks.

[aghst]

48 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Why? "Down Under" didn't have any special hook aside from being . . . down under. Why not just do "Below Deck Norway?" The adventure part was just lame and seemed so amateurish. 

Maybe.

But maybe they don't know if they're always going to do Norway.  Maybe they go to Sweden or the Baltics, or around Finland, though I don't think those areas are as scenic as Norway's fjords.

Down Under did get them a lot of underwater footage, definitely a new type of scenery.

They may also operate from near Sydney or Melbourne in the future.

The BD, BDM and BDSY all operate in the Mediterranean.  Well BD did operate in the Mediterranean but now back to the Caribbean.  Great scenery but there aren't many other distinctive things, unless they have picnics to set up in some old fort or something like that.

 

[aqusdealer]

4 hours ago, aghst said:

But maybe they don't know if they're always going to do Norway.  Maybe they go to Sweden or the Baltics, or around Finland, though I don't think those areas are as scenic as Norway's fjords.

Down Under did get them a lot of underwater footage, definitely a new type of scenery.

They may also operate from near Sydney or Melbourne in the future.

My guess is Bali...that would be cool.

[pasdetrois]

20 hours ago, nokat said:

I hate Faye's attitude, her voice, and her nasty, ratty hair.

Sorry, I needed to get that out. I guess I'm in the minority, but that's my opinion.

Nah, I despite them both. Agree with aghst that Jess' final snit was producer-driven. The staff barely batted an eyelash. 

That whispered speech Faith made to Seth was one of the most delusional I've heard on reality TV. The word "vain" was invented for the Fayes of the world.

[snarts]

12 hours ago, aghst said:

The BD, BDM and BDSY all operate in the Mediterranean.

BD has been in the Bahamas/Caribbean for its entire run sans the misogyny filled season in Tahiti.

 

[Baltimore Betty]

BD should have an allstars season, all the self proclaimed amazing chief stews, all the self proclaimed best bosuns ever and at least 3 of the most volatile but amazing chefs (taking turns cooking on each charter), they would fill all the crew positions, rotating lead positions...then we could see where Faye, Lewis and Jess would fall.  Faye did say how she could not believe how she could pull off all the adventures for the guests, wouldn't she just have made a call to the companies that run those adventures?

[gaPeach]

2 hours ago, pasdetrois said:

That whispered speech Faith made to Seth was one of the most delusional I've heard on reality TV. The word "vain" was invented for the Fayes of the world.

That was pretty bizarre.  She slips into his room, crawls into bed all sexy like only to tell him she wants to cuddle but won't then slips out while he reaches down to ease the case of blue balls she just instigated.......sheesh what a twat!

[Bossa Nova]

As many have posted here through out the season:

The star was the Norway scenery. Calling it "Adventure" was a ruse and a bust.

The crew was boring and lame. Not even any interesting chemistry between them. 

Sorry, but I liked Captain Kerry. Bring him back for a future season.

Sorry, but I liked Faye. She actually was pretty even tempered, and rolled with the punches.

 

Edited February 2, 2023 by Bossa Nova

[iMonrey]

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Faye did say how she could not believe how she could pull off all the adventures for the guests, wouldn't she just have made a call to the companies that run those adventures?

No way in hell did Faye organize any of those "adventures." Production arranged all those excursions and they were most likely pre-booked ahead of time and then matched up with the charter guests most willing to do them. The horse riding one was a dead giveaway, it was clear none of them had actually requested a horse riding excursion.

Faye's contribution was organizing those after-excursion picnic lunches that Jess hated so much. Here again I'm certain Faye was obligated to arrange those otherwise she would have nothing to do. 

[gaPeach]

20 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Faye's contribution was organizing those after-excursion picnic lunches that Jess hated so much. Here again I'm certain Faye was obligated to arrange those otherwise she would have nothing to do. 

This is true and it was noted that on that last outing in the Cave, Faye complained the whole time she was modeling that she needed to get in there to keep Jess in line or on task.  Then the camera cuts to the kitchen where Jess, Seth and Mike are working in perfect harmony and lunch was on time and delicious.  All without Faye's micromanaging the chef.

I think that right there spoke volumes as to what the actual issues were in the galley.  

[TV Glotzer]

Pretty sure Seth had figured out Faye was not going to have sex with him because 1) it was the last night on the boat and 2) he was ALREADY ASLEEP.

I would say waking someone up in your underwear to tell them you will not be sleeping with them is a telltale sign of a needy egomaniac.

Edited February 2, 2023 by TV Glotzer

[Midwestern Lady]

"adventure" means taking a vehicle  in a commercial cave with electricity and a complete chef's kitchen.  What an adrenaline rush- how daring and brave.  

[aghst]

19 minutes ago, Midwestern Lady said:

"adventure" means taking a vehicle  in a commercial cave with electricity and a complete chef's kitchen.  What an adrenaline rush- how daring and brave.  

To do a fake photo shoot.

[iMonrey]

6 hours ago, gaPeach said:

Then the camera cuts to the kitchen where Jess, Seth and Mike are working in perfect harmony and lunch was on time and delicious.  All without Faye's micromanaging the chef.

I think that right there spoke volumes as to what the actual issues were in the galley.  

Jess had two people helping her shuck oysters and prep the meal. And I'm sure the Captain/Production stuck them in there because they knew she was a flight risk. I can't think of any instance where Faye "micromanaged" her. Other than asking for snacks for a picnic. (Asking a chef? For Food? The nerve!)

Frankly neither Jess nor Faye were qualified for their jobs but I honestly don't see how Faye can be blamed for any of Jess's issues. Jess is just a hot mess who can't handle the stress of the job and if she needs two people to help her prepare a meal in order to stay calm she's not cut out for this line of work. 

[nokat]

On 2/2/2023 at 3:16 PM, iMonrey said:

Frankly neither Jess nor Faye were qualified for their jobs but I honestly don't see how Faye can be blamed for any of Jess's issues.

We'll have to disagree on Faye being somewhat at fault for causing problems.

[gaPeach]

On 2/2/2023 at 6:16 PM, iMonrey said:

Frankly neither Jess nor Faye were qualified for their jobs but I honestly don't see how Faye can be blamed for any of Jess's issues. Jess is just a hot mess who can't handle the stress of the job and if she needs two people to help her prepare a meal in order to stay calm she's not cut out for this line of work. 

Agree that neither one is qualified for their jobs.  Jess was too emotional, and Faye makes things way too difficult and complains too much.  Which was my point, that Faye has maintained all season that she was the driving force to get food out of the kitchen, but this excursion proved that statement to be false.

[Book Junkie]

I can't believe how many of you don't like Capt. Kerry. He's my favorite captain, with Glenn from BDSY as either a tie or a close 2nd. I thought he perfectly handled the Kyle situation. He was very charming with the guests (Lee always looks so sour with the guests and Sandy awkwardly struggles to keep a conversation going). I liked that he didn't even try to soothe Jess' ego when she was threatening to quit, but instead told her to just do her job, but if she didn't, then they would be just fine without her. He always told Seth to just shut up and do the job he was hired for instead of immediately asking for a promotion. I feel he should've touched base with Faye more (or, at all) and lit a fire under Lewis more, but he did try to mentor Lewis, but was interrupted. Lewis was primarily saved by the fact that he had a fairly competent crew who didn't cause much drama after Kyle was gone. He also was willing and able to jump in and do whatever necessary to get the job done whenever possible, something Lee has never done in 10 seasons. And, he's easy on the eyes! 😉 Mileage varies, but I loved Kerry.

[rur]

26 minutes ago, Book Junkie said:

I can't believe how many of you don't like Capt. Kerry. He's my favorite captain, with Glenn from BDSY as either a tie or a close 2nd. 

It looks like you'll be seeing more of him, since he'll be taking over for Capt. Lee on the next season of Below Deck https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/captain-kerry-replaces-captain-lee-for-below-deck-season-11/

I don't know if this means that BDA was a one-off, or that they'll find another captain for another locale.

[Book Junkie]

1 hour ago, rur said:

It looks like you'll be seeing more of him, since he'll be taking over for Capt. Lee on the next season of Below Deck https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/captain-kerry-replaces-captain-lee-for-below-deck-season-11/

I don't know if this means that BDA was a one-off, or that they'll find another captain for another locale.

Yay! That makes me so happy!

[Jst2Wld]

Maybe Captain Kerry will be more exciting on BD. The whole cast and crew of BDA are so boring. JMO.