TV Glotzer

So not sad to see either Jared or Cat go. Cat has some serious issues that will impede her in life. If she can’t deal with making beds and cleaning bathrooms on a TV show her prospects will be very limited. I personally would have been very insulted to hear her keep saying how alone she felt when the entire crew seemed to go to great lengths to make her feel included. And if being corrected for folding a towel the wrong way sends you into fits of sobbing, well, sorry to break this news, but the world has a lot more in store for you.

Those elevator scenes were next-level absurd. What mother and daughter would have such intimate conversations like that--about spousal abuse, fertility, childhood trauma--so cavalierly in front of a stranger? They were temporarily trapped in an elevator, not stranded on an island for the rest of their lives. I want to like this show so much but the many ridiculous conversations and situations keep making me hate it. It is beautifully filmed but the script is ludicrous. Also, Margaret and her husband have zero chemistry.

The charter guests described themselves as “used to luxury.” Then we get these foul unappealing people in Walmart wardrobes talking about sucking dick at the dinner table. The mustachioed guy seemed uncomfortable using a knife and fork.

And to absolutely no one’s surprise, Kelly Bensimon is still insane.

Throughout the Max’s episode all I could do was scream at the TV every 30 seconds—in response to every ridiculous revelation—“but you’re running a hot dog restaurant!!”

Those two Juicy Box kids were halfwits—on a good day. They had no interest in running a restaurant. Nor any concept of how to run a business. Just wanted to hang and drink while daddy pays the bills. And what kind of casual restaurant opens at 2:00 pm and completely misses lunch? And the conceit that the morbidly obese Q was some sort of former gym rat was downright preposterous. This episode made me furious.

Every single conflict in this episode had a direct link to Kyle. I find him completely foul. He exhibits every bitchy queen negative stereotype attributed to gay men, and for that I hate him even more.

There's a thing called "resort diving" in which you get an hour of basic training and then go on a shallow(ish) dive without having to be certified. I did this myself in Hawaii, and it spurred my interest in getting fully certified. This diving area only looked to be about 10-15 feet deep. But once you achieve full certification--in which you are trained how to act in a variety of disaster scenarios--you understand what an incredibly bad idea resort diving is. A million things can go wrong even in shallow water. I frankly can't believe it is even legal.

I don’t think I ever fully focused on how utterly ridiculous Heather’s wall of Veuve Clicquot is in her Ritz-Carlton, er, I mean home. So odd that they left in the producer interruption in which Heather and Madame stopped talking completely and went out of character. It’s like even the show doesn’t GAF about itself anymore.

Why can't Captain Jason put in his own contact lenses?? Also, Luke and Laura are so vile.

Everything about every single one of this new crew is so contrived. They are all the uber-privileged .01% who, except for Jenna, just married well, and they keep saying they are the “real New York.” Uh no, bitch. Your fucking taxi driver is the real New York. Signed, a native New Yorker.

Wow, this show has sunk to a new low, with discussion of Mads’s period and Gary’s subsequent disgust at performing oral sex on her. Just. Wow. While Gary’s appeal to women continues to confound, what is the appeal of Mads for that matter? She’s whiny and vulgar, and except for her weekly testimonial of pride for her no-strings-attached sluttiness, comes across like a moronic middle schooler.

I guess Rapey Ryan is now Ropey Ryan.

I’m LOL’ing because I LOVED this episode! I thought it was brilliantly creative. I also think Succession is a pitiful joke of a show so clearly I am in the minority here.

Why did Fraser go so overboard in praising Alyssa for handling dinner? What did she do? Did you see the table—completely bare except for wrinkled placemats and silverware. Those one-day charter broads didn’t seem to care as long as they were shoveling food into their gobs, but it seemed like praising a 5-year-old for a crayon drawing.