S05.E19: All We Have Is Now

[jewel21]

Quote

With Raptor on leave to take care of his mother, the hospital scrambles to stay organized without him. Meanwhile, a camping trip leaves a patient with a fatal disease that none of the doctors have seen before. Then, Bell and Kit devise a plan to help their case with the Medical Board.

Airdate: 04/19/2022

[Madding crowd]

This was a sad but well done episode. I really enjoy the Raptor, he is the best on this show. Between watching this, This is Us and the Blackish finale I am all cried out. 

[Leeds]

In what world does a medical professional get involved in a serious procedure without taking off his dickish "I'm trying to recapture my youth" leather jacket and putting on scrubs and a mask?  Yes. Conrad, I'm looking at you.

[izabella]

Devon was disturbingly interested in being the donor for Leela's sister.  Is he thinking that he and Leela are too busy to have kids, so this way, it would kinda be like having a baby with Leela, but her sister would raise his/sister's child.  What could possibly go wrong?!

I'm with Leela on this.  It would change everything about their relationships, and insert her sister in between them.  It's alarming that Devon thinks this is a good idea.

Rabies.  Another reason not to go camping. 

[Artsda]

The entire eggs/baby plot I can't stand and now AJ is in it? I think Leela wants to back out and can't say it, that's where all the freezing push came from. 

Watching the mother dying scenes was hard, so sad and true to life.

[circumvent]

"With Raptor on leave to take care of his mother, the hospital scrambles to stay organized without him"

This is such a TV trope, one doctor is on leave and the whole big, public and with a huge staff hospital falls apart. My eyes are rolling so hard, they are doing laps.

[Janie430]

This episode confirmed what my mother has been saying since the sixties - he back to nature hippies lack common sense! (sarcasm/humor here).

My mother was in California from 1966 to 1968, and came from a farm family in upstate New York.  She had thoughts on the hippies that were living in communes and claiming to be living off the land - i.e. they were heavily subsidized by someone and not in touch with actual Mother Nature.

Seriously isn't the whole point of civilization  to get as far away from being naked around wildlife as possible?

[vibeology]

8 hours ago, izabella said:

Devon was disturbingly interested in being the donor for Leela's sister.  Is he thinking that he and Leela are too busy to have kids, so this way, it would kinda be like having a baby with Leela, but her sister would raise his/sister's child.  What could possibly go wrong?!

I'm with Leela on this.  It would change everything about their relationships, and insert her sister in between them.  It's alarming that Devon thinks this is a good idea.

I could not believe that he made that offer. I was horrified. Leela was right in every single point she raised. Everything about their relationship would change in those circumstances and he was just fine subbing in at the last minute clearly not concerned about any of that. I have no idea what the writers were thinking but this will completely change the way I view and judge Devon forever.

[EllaWycliffe]

22 minutes ago, vibeology said:

I could not believe that he made that offer. I was horrified. Leela was right in every single point she raised.

Agree but I also think we are now seeing the wedge placed between them. Devon does want kids and he's willing to do what it takes to get those kids. Leela doesn't really want kids at all, at least now. I see a problem.

I will say, if no one else will, that AJ was really making a poor decision and 'I'm alone now because my mom died and so not only do I want to be the sperm donor to a woman I had a casual relationship with, I want to be THE FATHER' is both not a great decision to make while emotionally upset and unfair to Padme who genuinely wanted to use AJ's sperm but may not want to have AJ in her life. 

[izabella]

58 minutes ago, EllaWycliffe said:

I will say, if no one else will, that AJ was really making a poor decision and 'I'm alone now because my mom died and so not only do I want to be the sperm donor to a woman I had a casual relationship with, I want to be THE FATHER' is both not a great decision to make while emotionally upset and unfair to Padme who genuinely wanted to use AJ's sperm but may not want to have AJ in her life. 

I completely agree he shouldn't be making that kind of huge decision right now.  At the same time, it's on Padma to turn him down if she doesn't want him as an active father.  She can still freeze her eggs and find a donor the way other people do - anonymous donation from a sperm bank.

[EllaWycliffe]

1 hour ago, izabella said:

At the same time, it's on Padma to turn him down if she doesn't want him as an active father. 

Absolutely agree but its a little unfair of AJ to spring it on her as a surprise that he's agreeing coupled with how his mom just died, and now he really wants family. Its hard to say no to. 

[Crashcourse]

4 hours ago, vibeology said:

I have no idea what the writers were thinking but this will completely change the way I view and judge Devon forever.

It will change the way I look at him, too, and I used to like him.  I don't think Leela will ever get over his offer (and she shouldn't) and this might be the beginning of the end of their relationship.  It's too bad because I liked them together.

AJ should take time to grieve the loss of his mom instead of agreeing to be a sperm donor and wanting to be in the baby's life as the father.  I don't think that's what his mom meant when she said she wanted him to have a family.   

I liked the hospice nurse, but I don't want to see her again and be paired up with AJ.

Honestly, I wish Padma would take her frozen eggs and leave Atlanta/the show.   I'm tired of her and her story.

[Snazzy Daisy]

Hey AJ,

First of all, you don’t make major life decisions when you’re emotionally compromised. Take your time to grieve, as much as you need.

Secondly, even though it’s going to be Leela’s eggs, Padma’s history with leukaemia should not be forgotten. Will that child be facing an increased risk of the chronic disease since the ladies share the same DNA?

19 hours ago, izabella said:

Devon was disturbingly interested in being the donor for Leela's sister.  Is he thinking that he and Leela are too busy to have kids, so this way, it would kinda be like having a baby with Leela, but her sister would raise his/sister's child.  What could possibly go wrong?!

At first, I thought it’s so out of character for Devon to be suggesting that to Leela. But then it hits me. Devon knows that both of them are not on the same page when it comes to marriage and starting a family. Unconsciously, he may be trying to fix a strained relationship, hoping that a baby will help to change Leela’s perspective etc. Or he could be on the fence about continuing their relationship.

Double G and Uncle AJ! ❤️😍

 

Edited April 21, 2022 by SnazzyDaisy

[statsgirl]

I don't understand why they were so shocked that it was rabies. There were 25 cases in the US in the past decade. I've had rabies shots myself because I came in contact with a raccoon.

4 hours ago, EllaWycliffe said:

Agree but I also think we are now seeing the wedge placed between them. Devon does want kids and he's willing to do what it takes to get those kids. Leela doesn't really want kids at all, at least now. I see a problem.

Does Devon want them badly enough to be the primary caregiver so that Leela can have her career? Let him put his money where his mouth is.

I'm going to agree with AJ in being the sperm donor. It's true, he is alone now and there is nothing like family, even with close friends. Maybe he never meets a woman that he wants to marry and have a family with.

Since Padma is willing to go it alone, AJ needs to be only as involved as he wants to be. If he loves fatherhood, I can see her agreeing to long visits so that he can have family and career both. If being a father isn't all he thought it was, Padma is ready to do the heavy lifting.

[EllaWycliffe]

1 minute ago, statsgirl said:

Does Devon want them badly enough to be the primary caregiver so that Leela can have her career? Let him put his money where his mouth is.

Perhaps, but he can also just as easily walk away from Leela and find a girlfriend more in line with wanting children.

Or they could both follow the Conrad example and get special leeway to have the hospital day care raise the kid. 

[izabella]

2 hours ago, SnazzyDaisy said:

Secondly, even though it’s going to be Leela’s eggs, Padma’s history with leukaemia should not be forgotten. Will that child be facing an increased risk of the chronic disease since the ladies share the same DNA?

Leela's eggs?  I think I missed this part, or forgot about it.  I thought they were harvesting Padma's eggs, either to do IVF right away if they have a donor right there, or to freeze for later use. 

[yourdreamer]

16 minutes ago, izabella said:

Leela's eggs?  I think I missed this part, or forgot about it.  I thought they were harvesting Padma's eggs, either to do IVF right away if they have a donor right there, or to freeze for later use. 

No, they are harvesting Leela’s eggs to put in Padma’s uterus for then giving birth. Padma does not have viable eggs but apparently everything else works for having a baby. 

[CarpeFelis]

I hope Devon’s suggestion that he could be the sperm donor was because he was way overtired and not thinking straight. Everything Leela said was spot on; it would make things extremely weird between them. He shouldn’t even have needed that explained to him! And frankly, if he has any compassion for Leela, if she wouldn’t be able to handle it that should be more than enough reason not to do it.

 

[izabella]

56 minutes ago, yourdreamer said:

No, they are harvesting Leela’s eggs to put in Padma’s uterus for then giving birth. Padma does not have viable eggs but apparently everything else works for having a baby. 

OMG, that makes his offer to be a donor even more disturbing!  Suggesting that Leela's harvested eggs be used with his donated sperm, implanted in Padma for her give birth to and raise Leela and Devon's child...woah.   That's just, wow.

[Snazzy Daisy]

3 hours ago, izabella said:

OMG, that makes his offer to be a donor even more disturbing!  Suggesting that Leela's harvested eggs be used with his donated sperm, implanted in Padma for her give birth to and raise Leela and Devon's child...woah.   That's just, wow.

Imagine what AJ and Leela would feel every time they look at “their” child. And they work together. How Devon would feel seeing mini AJ/Leela?

I hope Padma will say no to AJ’s impromptu request, make it less complicated, less awkward.

[circumvent]

Well. at least we had Bell being what doctors are supposed to be. I would still love to see a line or two about how medical malpractice is the third leading cause of death in the United States.

Agree with everyone else who said that Devon's proposition was the most misguided, selfish and nonsensical idea. It doesn't take a lot to see how complicated it would be just to satisfy their urge, as if they are little kids who need a baby Right! Now! Imagine the kid: my mom is my aunt, my aunt is my mom, but only biologically, but they are twins so it doesn't matter, and my dad is my dad but my also my uncle, but he never had sex with my mom, who is actually my aunt, but my mom is my mom because the one who raises me is my real mom, and when I say my mom I mean my aunt who is not my biological aunt who has the same DNA as my biological mom who is my aunt. Just keep reading it until it makes sense. Good luck, see you in eternity, still reading it and trying to make sense of it. Devon is pathetic and ridiculous and should go back to be super busy with other studies so he can stop having ridiculous ideas.

So, the blurb for the show about AJ's absence causing havoc at the hospital was just bullshit. Nobody really noticed his absence, medically speaking, he wasn't needed for any surgery, the only person who missed him was Padma. 

 

[yourdreamer]

Bell pissing off the medical board is only going to bite him in the butt. I wonder if the writers remember what all he did in season 1 and early season 2 - HODAD and the prostitution, etc. 

[auntiemel]

I don't know, I was kind of on Devon's side in the sperm donation situation, at least a little. At least insofar as I noticed the hypocrisy that when Leela was first considering donating her eggs, Devon had concerns about the emotional complications and repercussions for their relationship, and she was like, "How fucking dare you have an opinion about any possible relationship repercussions based on what I decide do with my reproductive material. I'll do what I want with my own eggs. You're basically just a sounding board here. Your thoughts on the matter mean nothing. "

But when he wants to give away his sperm, she's like, "How fucking dare you. I have ALL the opinions about any possible relationship repercussions based on what you decide to do with your reproductive material. You'll do what *I* want with your own sperm. Has it not sunk in that you're just a sounding board here? I know we were talking about my eggs before and now we're talking about your sperm, but nevertheless, your thoughts on this matter still mean nothing."

I get that it adds a wrinkle of creepiness that it's her sister that's involved. And, viscerally, I have the same reaction as Leela to the proposition. And I do also think she's right that him donating his sperm is not a tenable situation in any way. But I do think the two conversations, when viewed side by side, highlight how unfair it was of her to create (or at least participate in) a HUGE situation that, whether she likes it or not, is going to impact his life and emotions in a substantive way...and then not let him have any say in the matter, or even an opinion about it. And actually be shocked that he wants to.

[EllaWycliffe]

Thats an interesting point, that Leela was all her body her choice but Devon isn't allowed to decide what to do with his sport without her involvement. She pointedly made the decision to donate eggs without his permission - no, she didn't need his permission - but doesn't that go both ways?

In fairness when this plot first began and Padme picked a south east Asian donor, I was hoping there would be a reveal that Devon sold his sperm in medical school.

[CarpeFelis]

3 hours ago, auntiemel said:

I don't know, I was kind of on Devon's side in the sperm donation situation, at least a little. At least insofar as I noticed the hypocrisy that when Leela was first considering donating her eggs, Devon had concerns about the emotional complications and repercussions for their relationship, and she was like, "How fucking dare you have an opinion about any possible relationship repercussions based on what I decide do with my reproductive material. I'll do what I want with my own eggs. You're basically just a sounding board here. Your thoughts on the matter mean nothing. "

But when he wants to give away his sperm, she's like, "How fucking dare you. I have ALL the opinions about any possible relationship repercussions based on what you decide to do with your reproductive material. You'll do what *I* want with your own sperm. Has it not sunk in that you're just a sounding board here? I know we were talking about my eggs before and now we're talking about your sperm, but nevertheless, your thoughts on this matter still mean nothing."

I get that it adds a wrinkle of creepiness that it's her sister that's involved. And, viscerally, I have the same reaction as Leela to the proposition. And I do also think she's right that him donating his sperm is not a tenable situation in any way. But I do think the two conversations, when viewed side by side, highlight how unfair it was of her to create (or at least participate in) a HUGE situation that, whether she likes it or not, is going to impact his life and emotions in a substantive way...and then not let him have any say in the matter, or even an opinion about it. And actually be shocked that he wants to.

I agree Leela should have given a lot more consideration to Devon’s feelings about her egg donation to her sister. And if he wanted to be an anonymous donor to an unknown recipient, she’d have a lot less right to say anything about it—though with DNA testing becoming more common, they’d both need to be prepared for the possibility that one or more children might seek him out someday. (Personally, I think this lack of privacy sucks. The biological child has every right to information about their medical history, but not to a relationship with the donor. If someone donated and was promised anonymity, they should have the right to remain anonymous.)

But if they both donate to Padma, the resulting child is Devon and Leela’s, and that makes a really weird and uncomfortable situation. This is a two yeses/one no decision.

[auntiemel]

47 minutes ago, CarpeFelis said:

But if they both donate to Padma, the resulting child is Devon and Leela’s, and that makes a really weird and uncomfortable situation. This is a two yeses/one no decision.

Yeah, I agree with you there. I guess I just think it should have been more of a "one yes but I'm definitely heavily considering your point of view" decision before. LOL.

[auntiemel]

3 hours ago, EllaWycliffe said:

In fairness when this plot first began and Padme picked a south east Asian donor, I was hoping there would be a reveal that Devon sold his sperm in medical school.

I mean, clearly that would have been the superior plot!!! 😄

[CarpeFelis]

What makes no sense to me about this plot point: Padma has been shown to be kind of flaky. Why on earth is Leela supporting her plan to have a baby at all? IRL this would make very little sense; it seems like it’s just something the writers dreamed up for the sake of adding more drama.

[EllaWycliffe]

Because she's obviously going to die in childbirth and dump the kid on Devon/Leela or AJ.

[CarpeFelis]

On 4/21/2022 at 3:37 PM, EllaWycliffe said:

Because she's obviously going to die in childbirth and dump the kid on Devon/Leela or AJ.

Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m afraid will happen, just to make for max drama.

[bros402]

On 4/20/2022 at 8:34 PM, SnazzyDaisy said:

Hey AJ,

First of all, you don’t make major life decisions when you’re emotionally compromised. Take your time to grieve, as much as you need.

Secondly, even though it’s going to be Leela’s eggs, Padma’s history with leukaemia should not be forgotten. Will that child be facing an increased risk of the chronic disease since the ladies share the same DNA?

At first, I thought it’s so out of character for Devon to be suggesting that to Leela. But then it hits me. Devon knows that both of them are not on the same page when it comes to marriage and starting a family. Unconsciously, he may be trying to fix a strained relationship, hoping that a baby will help to change Leela’s perspective etc. Or he could be on the fence about continuing their relationship.

Double G and Uncle AJ! ❤️😍

 

Leukemia isn't always a chronic disease. Since she had it as a kid, it was most like an acute leukemia - probably ALL. She did treatment, which nuked her eggs.

On 4/20/2022 at 10:57 PM, yourdreamer said:

No, they are harvesting Leela’s eggs to put in Padma’s uterus for then giving birth. Padma does not have viable eggs but apparently everything else works for having a baby. 

Yeah - she did chemotherapy as a kid and her eggs are not viable as a result.

[CarpeFelis]

On 4/20/2022 at 5:34 PM, SnazzyDaisy said:

Secondly, even though it’s going to be Leela’s eggs, Padma’s history with leukaemia should not be forgotten. Will that child be facing an increased risk of the chronic disease since the ladies share the same DNA?

As bros402 pointed out, it most likely wasn’t chronic. Also, despite their sharing the same DNA, Leela didn’t have it. It seems odd to me that one twin would have it and the other not. I wonder how often that happens IRL.

[bros402]

10 hours ago, CarpeFelis said:

As bros402 pointed out, it most likely wasn’t chronic. Also, despite their sharing the same DNA, Leela didn’t have it. It seems odd to me that one twin would have it and the other not. I wonder how often that happens IRL.

Well consider that cancer is just one cell out of trillions dividing incorrectly (Then that one cell has a party). Since Leela didn't have it, the sister most likely had no mutations (or at least nothing major), or no known ones. I don't know about acute leukemias, but I know with my chronic leukemia, it is caused by an acquired mutation (the cause of the acquired mutation is unknown, but the going theory is a yet-to-be-discovered retrovirus)

I found this, with regards to ALL:

A child with an identical twin that develops ALL before age 6 has an increased risk of developing leukemia. If an identical twin develops leukemia within the first few months of life, the other twin will almost always develop the same type of leukemia.

and

The cancer risk for an identical twin of a child with leukemia is significantly higher than the risk for any other sibling or a fraternal twin, says Mott pediatric oncologist Rama Jasty Rao, M.D. Although this risk remains until age 6, it decreases with age. The greatest risk is seen in the first year of life.

So, assuming the sister had it past 6, Leela doesn't have much of a risk of cancer.

[JKL845]

If Leela and Devon were really going to be in a life long relationship, the thought of a Leela/AJ child would be difficult for Devon. I could see where he would rather be involved with a Leela/Devon child than a Leela/AJ child. I'm just happy that it looks like this situation will break them up. 

[statsgirl]

11 hours ago, JKL845 said:

the thought of a Leela/AJ child

It's a Padma/AJ child though. It would be the same as if Devon donated to a sperm bank in his younger years. Donating sperm or an egg with the understanding that that's all your contribution doesn't a parent make.

Devon being the sperm donor would make it much more difficult for Leela, knowing that it's her egg and her partner's sperm but she has no input whereas Devon would possibly have if there was no man in Padma's life.

[JKL845]

In theory for Leela it might be a Leela/Devon and Padma/AJ child. Who knows what the reality will end up feeling like for all of them though. I think it's fair that Devon could sometimes view it as a Leela/AJ child. Especially if he never gets to have children that he desires. I think a sperm donor would be best if Padma wants to raise the child alone. Luckily they are just fictional characters on a show. 

[jewel21]

On 4/25/2022 at 1:48 PM, CarpeFelis said:

As bros402 pointed out, it most likely wasn’t chronic. Also, despite their sharing the same DNA, Leela didn’t have it. It seems odd to me that one twin would have it and the other not. I wonder how often that happens IRL.

Although not leukemia, something similar happened in real life. Brittany and Cynthia Daniels, who played Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield in the tv series "Sweet Valley High" many moons ago, are identical twins. Anyway, Brittany ended up developing lymphoma a few years back and her twin sister didn't. I always found it strange how two people with the same DNA could have one of them developing cancer and the other one not. 

[KaveDweller]

On 4/26/2022 at 7:42 PM, jewel21 said:

Although not leukemia, something similar happened in real life. Brittany and Cynthia Daniels, who played Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield in the tv series "Sweet Valley High" many moons ago, are identical twins. Anyway, Brittany ended up developing lymphoma a few years back and her twin sister didn't. I always found it strange how two people with the same DNA could have one of them developing cancer and the other one not. 

I don't know about lymphoma, but there are definitely behaviors or life situations that increase/decrease the risk of certain cancers. It is not just DNA. It makes sense to me that the risk for twins is highest if they develop it when they are young. Getting sick as a baby is more likely to be caused by DNA, but getting sick as an adult could be DNA or lifestyle.

It sounds like Leelah and Padma were pretty young, so maybe it was just luck that only one of them got. 

[statsgirl]

The only time identical twins have identical DNA is just after the egg split. After that random mutations, epigenetics and life events. Maybe one of them went to a camp or on a school trip where there was something cancerous in the area.

[bros402]

On 4/27/2022 at 9:54 PM, KaveDweller said:

I don't know about lymphoma, but there are definitely behaviors or life situations that increase/decrease the risk of certain cancers. It is not just DNA. It makes sense to me that the risk for twins is highest if they develop it when they are young. Getting sick as a baby is more likely to be caused by DNA, but getting sick as an adult could be DNA or lifestyle.

It sounds like Leelah and Padma were pretty young, so maybe it was just luck that only one of them got. 

With blood cancer there can be environmental factors that cause it i.e. pesticides and radiation - but in monozygotic identical twins, they'd have the same inherited mutations. Cells divide differently, even if two people are genetically identical