S26.E12: After the Final Rose

[Hip-to-be-Square]

3 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Right, it's funny that people say that Gabby is natural looking.  What television screen are they looking at?  LOL

Yep, she doesn't look natural to me!  The dead giveaways for Gabby's procedures (Botox and lip fillers) are a stiff forehead with impaired brow movements and over-projection in her lips with filler migration already developing and thickening her philtrum.  Gabby should have her lip fillers dissolved.  I really hope that this trend of injectables and fillers can die out.   Gabby and Rachel need a makeup "makeunder" for their upcoming season and I hope wardrobe can make their outfits less fast-fashion head to toe.  

[Back Atcha]

18 minutes ago, Bluesky said:

Banning kissing until the final three would be nice.   

YIKES!  Then some of those guys would be required to have actual conversations.  So often, those kisses are because the dud can't think of anything else.

[LakeGal]

13 hours ago, Blintzie said:

Agreed, Bluesky. I long for the days of a bachelor like Andrew Firestone. He was good looking, intelligent, had some money. I’ll never forget how Tina Fabulous wouldn’t even let Andrew kiss her until she was final three! And I remember Andrew asking a girl on a one-on-one date what her favorite cuisine was, and she said, “I love Italian… like Olive Garden.” She didn’t get a date rose… 😜

I saw Andrew Firestone on Daily Pop today.  They were talking about the Bachelor.  It was a good interview.  He talked about how it was all so new back then.  He said he sat in the limo scared to get out in case the women didn't like him.  He talked about his season.  I thought he was talking so fast.  Then he said he works as an auctioneer and MC for charities.  He still looks great.  He has a beautiful family.  

[Sweet-tea]

On 3/15/2022 at 9:14 PM, SallyAlbright said:

I think this is an unpopular opinion, but I like Jesse as the host. He's low key but feels professional and more like the classic type of host. I like Tayshia but can't stand Kaitlyn and the way they hid and giggled and gossiped about all the arrivals on night one always bugged me. With two leads, I feel like the show will need Jesse as more of a professional presence or it could have turned into feeling like a slumber party. 

Anyway, haven't seen much positive talk about him so just wanted to give him a little shout out, I thought he did a decent job tonight. 

I like Jesse too. I think he did a good job. He kind of relaxed into the role as the season progressed. I hope he becomes the permanent host. 

[Rainsong]

Semantic question: is a show titled After The Final Rose actually after the final rose if the final rose isn’t delivered until the end of After The Final Rose? Is that one final rose or two?

Grammar/usage question: will The Bachelorette remain The Bachelorette (title) with two Bachelorettes? Or will the plural form be used? Is all this mitosis a good thing or a bad thing?

Jesse has done an excellent job. It’s clear he’s been asked to be less of a provocateur and he doesn’t lose himself in the role of knitted-brow agony aunt as Chris Harrison did. He’s done plenty of other TV work by now and is comfortable with prompters, earpieces and moving the chess pieces around. But it doesn’t make him immune to the ‘most shocking/controversial ending in Bachelor history’ line, which seems to be mandatory even when the ending is neither of these.

Clayton’s vehicle must still have one of those 6-CD dash-mount changers and Clayton hasn’t changed the discs out in 10 years. His somber utterances most often sound like cheesy titles and lyrics from hair-metal power ballads. In this case, Cinderella’s ‘Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone.’

Has Susie been cooling her heels in the Hilton this whole time? Anything good on Icelandic TV? Let’s hope some American food items are available from room service or nearby because Þorramatur (translated as thorramatur) ie traditional Icelandic food makes the revolting Croatian dishes they already tried look like candy bars. I typed a few dishes and ingredients here then erased them because it’s truly disturbing.

Is this why the crew did everything but throw lariats around Clayton, Rachel & Gabby to keep them on the property the night before? Susie may not be, like, the world’s most articulate person but surely she suspects something is up if they’re keeping her in the gilded cage? Unfortunately, blameless Susie sounds as if she’s accepted blame for doing nothing wrong.

Rachel & Gabby are comparing notes about the previous day’s events and brewing up some serious doubt about Clayton and his motives. Iceland by name, icy by nature as the emotional temperature is freezing cold in the room as he enters. ‘Feasibly possible’ is one of those redundancies that rankles. Clayton thinks being candid means rubbing their noses in rejection. Gabby has the vocal fry oil up to 375 degrees as she gives Clayton a tongue lashing as Rachel is devastated and speechless.

Extending the Arctic metaphor, polar bear Clayton’s little ice floe of self-justification and infallibility is melting quickly under the flamethrower of Gabby’s righteous indignation. In the fullness of time she will realize just what a lucky escape she’s had but for now we’re going to enjoy her giving Clayton a right bollocking. ‘Am I able to walk you out?’ Gabby’s lip curls in disgust and finally someone has said no. Forcefully even.

Gabby’s back in the studio and it must be said that she wears very little clothing very well. Are we really supposed to believe an attractive ex-NFL cheerleader, still fighting fit, gainfully employed, no visible tattoos and no off-putting personality traits was hopelessly single? If so, the phone/hookup culture is even worse than we imagined. We wish she had a little bit more of a get-even gene but perhaps apathy is the best weapon against the unctuous Clayton. Gabby, darling, if you didn’t want to be part of a competition then you definitely got on the wrong bus when the casting agents rang you. But we know what you meant.

Rachel is shaking like a Cessna on approach in a crosswind gale. We pick on the poor thing for being a little too gift-shop twee but she is a Right Reasons avatar and justifiably upset. The audience reaction inserts are mostly distracting but the shot of dad is proper frightening as he has Icelandic geothermal steam coming out of his ears. Suddenly his boasts about pummeling cads who let his Rachel down don’t seem so unbelievable. She’s also high on the all-time series list of ruined makeup shots including this in-studio appearance. Are the Bachelorettes specifically told they will never be offered tissues?

Being fair to Rachel doesn’t mean we won’t point out that she’s repeating herself. Repeatedly. ‘Disrespectful’ is supposed to be the dambuster of all fighting words in a relationship or the end thereof but it has been drained of its potency through overuse. Now that we know that Clayton somehow emerges with Susie he’s willing to sit and stare and nod along with the how-could-you speeches and offer the exact same excuses all over again. Both are broken records.

Jesse shows up ‘unannounced’ but Susie has already done hair and makeup. Convenient. Of course, when you’re under close confinement in a Reykjavik hotel you don’t have many other activities to kill the time.

Yes, we’ve had drama and upheaval from dozens of Bachelors and Bachelorettes but in the end they smiled – a little or a lot – and appeared to like each other regardless of events that followed. Here, Clayton and Susie both look as if they’ve been let go from a job.

Clayton claims to be ‘a better person now from all the lessons that I’ve learned.’ We’ll be the judge of that. But we’re still compelled to ask: which lessons are those? Because we don’t see a great deal of variety or change in behavior. It wouldn’t be finale without the patented camera shoe-shot. Susie has her some fine gams so we only rewound that particular scene 14 times. Is the virgin-bride-white dress a statement of purity? A dig at the runners-up? Susie is doing most of the talking here in her best pageant long-answer-to-a-short-question form but it’s preferable to the Instagram self-improvement cod-philosophy Clayton has been spouting throughout. Good luck to them but based on personalities and interactions to date it’s hard to see it lasting. However, it must be said that many seasons that have nailed the fairy-tale conclusion in terms of commitment and timing. But then they have gone very wrong shortly after the euphoria subsides. So maybe this one will flip that script.

A Double Bachelorette season is probably a good idea in terms of potentially doubling meaningful content. But, of course, it’s also a hedge against one of them bailing before, during or after production, especially as they’ve dealt with such a scenario already.

We can predict with some confidence who will be recruited to pursue Betty & Veronica, sorry, Rachel & Gabby, respectively, based on this season and their general personas.  Rachel will get the drips. The choirboys. The pleasers. The ones who think ‘Wonderful Tonight’ makes a great first-dance song and play along with all the ridiculous, cliched poses in their wedding outfits. Gabby will get the bad boys – or seek them out. The ones with a twinkle in their eye and a twitch in their jeans.

Gabby is happy but already scheming and a bit competitive as she asks 'will we get the same guys?' Short answer: yes, because the devilish producers want the possibility of another love triangle (actually a love square in this season). They're friends now but that can change.

I would differentiate the potential Bachelors by saying Rachel’s boys will be clean-shaven and Gabby’s will all have scruff but nobody on this show seems to own or use a razor anymore with the possible exception of Neil Lane. But Neil is 493 years old and preserved in a layer of paraffin wax so his beard doesn’t grow anyway.

NB: The Bachelorette Australia tried the double act approach a year or so ago and with an added twist. It featured Elly and her sister Becky. Elly was (and is) all blonde sex appeal and tan flesh. Becky was quite shy throughout and forced to play second fiddle. Ironically, as of this writing Elly is still single (we think) and Becky is paired up and expecting a baby any day now. When reality TV ends, real reality begins!

Edited March 18, 2022 by Rainsong

[PBnJay]

3 hours ago, Rainsong said:

But Neil is 493 years old and preserved in a layer of paraffin wax so his beard doesn’t grow anyway.

Great recap as always. @Rainsong is the right reason to suffer through this dreck franchise. And that line above actually made me LOL. So, thanks for everything, Rainsong!

[Hip-to-be-Square]

3 hours ago, PBnJay said:

Great recap as always. @Rainsong is the right reason to suffer through this dreck franchise. And that line above actually made me LOL. So, thanks for everything, Rainsong!

I laughed big time at Rainsong's line about Niel Lane too 😆.  Such hilarious and detailed commentary for each episode, Rainsong!  I really enjoy reading everyone's posts on this forum and I'm so glad that I found Primetimer 🙂!

[tinkerbell]

On 3/16/2022 at 6:33 PM, b2H said:

Lantern jaws like his aren’t fixed with braces.  This runs in my dad’s family - I was lucky to miss out on it.  Correction is literally breaking the jaw,  removing some of the bone and putting it back together.

https://www.healthline.com/health/prognathism

Thank you for posting that. Clayton's teeth were fine. His lower jaw is large, but if his back teeth line up, then his teeth are functional.  Braces are not the answer, and surgery is not necessary,  it's cosmetic. 

I have a nephew with a similar jaw. One dentist suggested that it could be fixed, but the surgery sounded horrendous and expensive. (Insurance companies will only cover what is medically necessary) nephew decided to leave it alone.

Edited March 19, 2022 by tinkerbell

[Sweet-tea]

On 3/17/2022 at 2:44 PM, LakeGal said:

I saw Andrew Firestone on Daily Pop today.  They were talking about the Bachelor.  It was a good interview.  He talked about how it was all so new back then.  He said he sat in the limo scared to get out in case the women didn't like him.  He talked about his season.  I thought he was talking so fast.  Then he said he works as an auctioneer and MC for charities.  He still looks great.  He has a beautiful family.  

Oh! I’ve got to look up this interview. I loved Andrew Firestone. He has a special place in my Bachelor heart. 

[dizzyd]

Thanks for a making the proverbial lemonade out of this crap season @Rainsong

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 3/17/2022 at 11:47 AM, ljenkins782 said:

But more than anything, I'd like to know why Katie got a half Bachelorette season and Michelle got a half Bachelorette season, but they felt CLAYTON was all the lead we needed for Bachelor. Just like Tayshia and Kaitlyn got to be co-hosts, but Jesse was allowed to screen test alone, it seems to suggest something about the show runners' feelings about men vs women.

Good point.
Clayton reminds me of that scene in Clueless.

Clayton's a "Monet".

What does that mean?

From far away it looks good but up close it's a big old mess.

[Melonie77]

On 3/17/2022 at 11:47 AM, ljenkins782 said:

But more than anything, I'd like to know why Katie got a half Bachelorette season and Michelle got a half Bachelorette season, but they felt CLAYTON was all the lead we needed for Bachelor. Just like Tayshia and Kaitlyn got to be co-hosts, but Jesse was allowed to screen test alone, it seems to suggest something about the show runners' feelings about men vs women.

Gosh I didn't even notice that Michelle and Katie had shorter seasons. I thought producers were filling in the time slot with any extra Bachelorette season since DWTS went to a once-a-year schedule. 

By the time Clayton's season came around Covid let up enough to allow for travel again.

As for Taysha and Kaitlyn...the show had to scramble to find a replacement for Chris when he left after a Bachelor season plus Covid was still causing more substantial problems. I got the impression the two female hosts were temporary replacements and never considered permanent. Neither seemed to have the right amount of presence and dignity for the position - too immature and silly especially Kaitlyn. I think if they want a woman they should get an older more mature one.

TBH, I'm a woman and yet I prefer a male host for this show no matter which version. And I like having the same host doing all variations. 

[b2H]

10 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

Oh! I’ve got to look up this interview. I loved Andrew Firestone. He has a special place in my Bachelor heart. 

Andrew was probably one of the last legitimate, non-lunkhead Bachelors in the franchise.  Began its downhill trend after that.