S09.E05 Drink the Tea, Spill the Tea

[Gharlane]

Quote

James encourages Raquel to confront her biggest bully, while Katie and Schwartz consult a fertility doctor about their chances of conceiving.

 

[heatherchandler]

Sandoval in his Heisenberg hat! 

[goofygirl]

Sandoval is sort of climbing into the "costume department" clothing selections these days, isn't he?  That beard and mustache are sort of in that "costume" department too.

You can stop now SANDY....  You kinda weirding me out!

[Marley]

I can’t fucking stand Tom Sandoval. He is such a whiny asshole. He has PTSD from a minor argument like 2-3 years ago? Dude get help. Go see a therapist. You are pathetic and an embarrassment.

Katie can of course be a negative Nancy but Schwartz has chosen to be with her so Sandoval needs to move the fuck on. He can’t throw little jabs about Schwartz energy around Katie. Even Scheana got it lol. Like I’m sure Sandoval would be so happy if Katie and Schwartz broke up and he could have Schwartz be his little bitch living in his pool house. 

LaLa and Raquel - blah who cares.

Who would know if your baby looks like you LaLa. You’ve had a bunch of plastic surgery.

Should an Australian be judging American cuisine? Lol.

Yikes on the Brock DV charge. LaLa judging and trying to act like she cares about Scheana is pretty hilarious. LaLa is a messy bitch. Who knows what happened with Brock and his ex. LaLa doesn’t really know either. I mean it could be bad or maybe not. All I know is LaLa judging anyone is a joke.

 

 

 

[mbaywife123]

Well, well, well, I wonder how LaLa feels now about her blovating to Sheena & Brock about their relationship, children and babies.

 

[princelina]

1 hour ago, Marley said:

Yikes on the Brock DV charge. LaLa judging and trying to act like she cares about Scheana is pretty hilarious. LaLa is a messy bitch. Who knows what happened with Brock and his ex. LaLa doesn’t really know either. I mean it could be bad or maybe not. All I know is LaLa judging anyone is a joke.

She's such an asshole.  He made it clear that he didn't want whatever happened discussed on the show.  I guess he should have expected it, since he even got his name in the opening credits, but Ms. BJs for PJs hasn't much room to judge. He doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed, and we know Scheana's not, but props to him for getting in there that she's a piece of shit who sucks dicks for Range Rovers!

Edited October 27, 2021 by princelina

[hoodooznoodooz]

Katie really, really needs a stylist. A lavender pantsuit with a dusty rose feather boa sleeve trim T.

[Marley]

12 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Katie really, really needs a stylist. A lavender pantsuit with a dusty rose feather boa sleeve trim T.

Lol yea it reminded me of fashion of my junior high days and some ppls shirts which was in the early 00s lol.

[gwen747]

I get the feeling that Tom and Tom will be on the outs in the next couple of years. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

Scheana always looks like someone enlarged her eyes using Snapchat.

[Gharlane]

I made copious mental notes on my reaction to this week's episode of The Real Housewives of WeHo, but I guess nothing made a big enough impression for me to remember. This is a bad sign. I rewatched because I had nothing better to do.

Is LaLa really Raquel's biggest bully? I was sure they buried the hatchet a couple eps ago. 

Pickleball again? DAMN YOU JIMMY'S JOHN'S!!!🤬

Leave it to LaLa to come up with that gross wager. Yeah, it would have been worse had Raquel won that game (did LaLa say Randal was impressed by how well she played pickleball?)

I couldn't care less about Tom and Katie visiting a fertility clinic, but here we are! What the fuck was Katie wearing? Oh yeah, her uterus is "pristine" but all we got to see was the doctor's judgmental looks while questioning Tom. Not a good sign.  😀

I have to give Raquel credit for following thru with a toast and not one, but two inappropriate comments, but it looked like people were changing positions during the dinner and her speech. 

I had to laugh when LaLa claimed the highly-arched eyebrows she drew on her baby were genetics, not botox. 🤣

Arianna hosted a party to test her DFH  book's drink instructions. Katie was still mad at Flat-Iron Tom so she stayed home and made a cookie.

Wealthy socialite Lisa Vanderbucks invited the gals and children to Villa Rosa for tea. I found it amusing that LaLa and Schemer arrived with entourages, the former's nursemaid and the latter's mother, holding their babies for them and being sent to another room. LaLa reveled what Brock had told her off-camera about why he hasn't seen his children and naturally, Schemer tried to make it seem like everything was perfect. This looks really bad for Brock, but I'm not ready to make any conclusions just yet.

Meanwhile, Schwartz is throwing an American junk food party for Brock. Didn't he move to America five years ago? F-I Tom whines about the book signing incident again.  Schwartz reveals his drinking and pot-smoking and magic mushrooms and long hot baths are messing up his sperm. TBH, I am surprised that pamphlet he and Katie were reading earlier didn't say anything about giving your balls the sous-vide treatment. Predictably, Schemer sends several text messages to Brock about LaLa said and he blows a fuse. 

Wasn't there a girl on this show who's never eaten pasta before? 🤔

[Lassus]

35 minutes ago, Gharlane said:

Wasn't there a girl on this show who's never eaten pasta before? 🤔

Wasn't there a restaurant on this show before?

GOOD CHRIST this show is not what I want from my West Hollywood haunt of 1993 when I worked at Tower Records on Sunset.  As usual, I'll whine about the casting and lack of turnover.  This reality concept of life in this town among the 20-30 set has WAAAAAAAAY more potential that they've now left behind somewhere in Moreno Valley and Ohio by way of the 10/15 interchange.  Get it together, BRAVO.

 

Sandoval has generally seemed like a good egg, but this book signing thing is just beyond at this point.  Tom has gone EXTRA in the wrong way, extra shrill and mental.  Tom, YOUR GREATEST ALLY, poor Ariana, thinks you're driving into a ditch.  Just listen for once.  (I do want to harsh on him for his cavalier "yeah I can cover everything" attitude, but t be fair it's not really uncommon at all and probably how actual money ends up being made, risk/reward, etc.  But everything else, yikes.)  Schwartz with the momentary lapse of airheadedness by suggesting therapy, which is more helpful than anything Sandoval did involving Schartz's sperm.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Lassus

[Gharlane]

10 hours ago, Marley said:

Katie can of course be a negative Nancy but Schwartz has chosen to be with her so Sandoval needs to move the fuck on. He can’t throw little jabs about Schwartz energy around Katie. Even Scheana got it lol. Like I’m sure Sandoval would be so happy if Katie and Schwartz broke up and he could have Schwartz be his little bitch living in his pool house. 

IKR? I think this pretty much summarizes what I was thinking:

Quote

“All of my sperm have weird-shaped heads. Or two heads. Who knew that sperm heads were that important?” Schwartz asked Sandoval later when they were alone in the house, their fingers smeared with chicken-wing grease.

“Listen, there’s only one head that I’m worried about, and it’s this one,” Sandoval replied. He undid his belt, unbuttoned his pants, and pulled a chubbie over the elastic of his boxer briefs. “Get over here.” Schwartz complied and sank to his knees, smiling up at his friend before diving in. Sandoval leaned his head back and moaned, his hands running through Schwartz’s hair, resting eventually in the little divot at the back of his skull. Then, suddenly, he grabbed Schwartz by the shoulders and forced him to stand up. “You said double head, right?” he said, grabbing for Schwartz’s waistband, as they both smiled and thought all about the sperm they’d be wasting in just a few moments.

 

Edited October 27, 2021 by Gharlane

[SarahPrtr]

11 hours ago, Marley said:

Who would know if your baby looks like you LaLa. You’ve had a bunch of plastic surgery.

 

That reminds me of a story from awhile ago from Taiwan, about a good-looking couple who had unattractive children and the man was suing his wife for not telling him about getting plastic surgery on her face.  It was actually an ad for plastic surgery posed by models and the one who posed as the wife couldn't get modelling jobs afterwards.

[tvfanatic13]

Did we know that Katie was pregnant with Tom's child in the past? That seemed like a huge bit of info. But I probably missed it. 

[Lassus]

I really doubt it.  I had more of a hard time realizing they'd been together 10 years, which seems insane.  Why, I have no idea.  

[Gharlane]

2 hours ago, tvfanatic13 said:

Did we know that Katie was pregnant with Tom's child in the past? That seemed like a huge bit of info. But I probably missed it. 

I am as surpised as you! 😲

[politichick]

I like Sandoval, but he really needs to tone down everything, except his spirit of entrepreneurship. Like Ariana's cocktail subscription box

I understand why people are shading LaLa, but she's practicing the reality TV arts and we'd be more bored than we already are if she didn't, Scheana needs deep therapy to explore why she makes certain choices. Brock is not a good one. 

[Carolina Girl]

After reading comments here, this makes the second week in a row I deleted the episode without viewing it.   Thank you for giving me two hours of my life not wasted.  

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, Carolina Girl said:

After reading comments here, this makes the second week in a row I deleted the episode without viewing it.   Thank you for giving me two hours of my life not wasted.  

Ditto!

[farmgal4]

21 hours ago, Lassus said:

I really doubt it.  I had more of a hard time realizing they'd been together 10 years, which seems insane.  Why, I have no idea.  

They honestly act like they despise each other much of the time.  I’m 99% sure that neither of them are happy.  I think they’re in the “I can’t live with you, but I can’t live without you” rut.  I’m 1000% sure that the last thing they need is a baby, but they probably think that having a child will improve their marriage.  JMHO

[Carolina Girl]

1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

They honestly act like they despise each other much of the time.  I’m 99% sure that neither of them are happy.  I think they’re in the “I can’t live with you, but I can’t live without you” rut.  I’m 1000% sure that the last thing they need is a baby, but they probably think that having a child will improve their marriage.  JMHO

I think they'll stay married as long as the show is on the air.  Once that ends, they're done.  

The real problem for Schwartz is that Katie gets 50% of his goodies when they split up.  Which means poor Sandoval is going to have to deal with her as a stand-alone 2.5% partner in TomTom (since I think collectively they have 10%), unless Schwartz buys out her share   I can see Sandoval paying her off just to get rid of her.  I'd include that new bar of theirs but that has failure written all over it.

[ihartcoffee]

Sandoval leaves out the fact he rage texted Stassi and Schwartz over the book signing for supposedly not clearing it with him.  Didn't they show a flash back of him agreeing to it?  He played a big part in that getting ugly.  

Lala acting like she cares so much about Sheana's well being.... please.  It's all for the show.  

Lisa's house is to die for. 

[snarts]

On 10/27/2021 at 12:39 PM, tvfanatic13 said:

Did we know that Katie was pregnant with Tom's child in the past? That seemed like a huge bit of info. But I probably missed it. 

I actually thought it was brave of them to share their previous pregnancy/abortion story. That it happened so long ago and off-camera, they didn't have to include or explain it. 

2 hours ago, Carolina Girl said:

The real problem for Schwartz is that Katie gets 50% of his goodies when they split up.

Katie's an OG, the first few years of the show Schwartz wasn't even a full cast member. So she is likely one of the highest paid, along with fellow OGs Scheana & Sandoval. She also has 1M+ instagram followers which means she's making mailbox money there too.  They're definitely not living off the small investment he has in TomTom....

Speaking of instagram, Ariana was on WWHL after the show with Craig from Southern Charm/Winter House.  She was Sandoval level obnoxious about her instagram follower count, John Mayer acquaintance and "hugely" successful cocktail book.  Ugh, I feel like she & Tom spend all day telling each other how fantastic they are. 

[AnnieBananie]

I hope Ariana is giving herself a big pat on the back for not marrying Sandoval or wanting to have children with him. He's getting odder and odder, and boy, I hope she leaves his overdramatic ass. 

[heatherchandler]

20 hours ago, snarts said:

I actually thought it was brave of them to share their previous pregnancy/abortion story. That it happened so long ago and off-camera, they didn't have to include or explain it. 

 

What struck me about that story was that she explained that they had just started dating, or weren't dating for long, and that they were not in a "good place".. um if you are not in a good place so early on in a relationship, WHY continue to date??  Things don't typically get easier as life goes on.  It's like they have never really been a happy couple.

[princelina]

44 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

What struck me about that story was that she explained that they had just started dating, or weren't dating for long, and that they were not in a "good place".. um if you are not in a good place so early on in a relationship, WHY continue to date??  Things don't typically get easier as life goes on.  It's like they have never really been a happy couple.

IMO that's why none of these couples seem ideal - they seem to "bang" and even move in before actually dating or knowing one another, but then just feel that they're in a "relationship" that they have to "work on".  They all need to learn how to just date!

Edited October 29, 2021 by princelina

[RoseAllDay]

*Sometimes I feel like I’m watching a love triangle with the Toms and Katie. Sandoval still nursing a grudge from two years ago? Does anybody beside him remember what that argument at the book signing was about? I don’t. Was Schwartz actually standing up to Sandoval at the cocktail thing? I get Ariana’s snark about stolen thunder. This was her night, and the triangle intruded. Again.

*It’s rare these days that any Bravo show makes my LOL, but I did with Schwartz’s sperm, him bargaining with the fertility specialist and her reactions, and then him ignoring her advice. Sandoval’s impression of said sperm — he’s probably not wrong.

*Katie’s admission of an abortion and her and Tom’s discussion of it — has there ever been such an honest and real scene? I do respect them for that. But it really looks like their relationship will remain rocky, so…

*Another LOL was in the preview with concern troll Lala bringing up her “upstanding fiance.” Glass house, meet stone. She just wants to stir shit — Lisa’s party was not the time nor place, especially since Lisa was totally unaware of the backstory. Not minimizing Brock’s issues at all, but we all know deep down she really doesn’t care, and I’m getting more than a little tired of her uppity, know-it-all attitude. She’s no better than anyone else on that show. Never has been; if anything she’s been one of the worst.

*Lisa’s tea looked lovely. Especially the desserts. 

*WTF was Raquel wearing in her confessionals? Looked like…I don’t know what. And was she invited to the tea? 

[hatchetgirl]

I cannot stand Lala. I've never liked her and she's just a basic bitch. There, I said it!!

[Sun-Bun]

15 hours ago, hatchetgirl said:

I cannot stand Lala. I've never liked her and she's just a basic bitch. There, I said it!!

Same…I have such a love/hate for her because I kinda enjoyed her when she first came on the show, living her best life as an ally to Scheana, Sandoval/Ariana as well as being James’ drunken muse. Loved how she basically antagonized the Witches of WeHo and sexually frustrated Jax. I dug her original face. 

Then suddenly the OG’s desperately clung to her for extra perks and PJ trips and she started messing with her face and got so high on her own farts. Now she’s just a far skankier, thirstier Stassi.

[Gharlane]

I'm watching the "extended footage" version and they showed Raquel explaining why she never won a beauty pageant (she flunked the oral part); Successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks pretending to not understand Schwartz making a "schwing!" gesture , then being asked to be the surrogate; and Schwartz telling Randal he didn't get the loan before telling Katie.

 

[hoodooznoodooz]

11 hours ago, Gharlane said:

I'm watching the "extended footage" version and they showed Raquel explaining why she never won a beauty pageant (she flunked the oral part); Successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks pretending to not understand Schwartz making a "schwing!" gesture , then being asked to be the surrogate; and Schwartz telling Randal he didn't get the loan before telling Katie.

 

I got the impression that Schwartz thought that the fertility testing would require a rectal exam and joked that he would not be opposed to LVP performing it. She declined.

[Gharlane]

59 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I got the impression that Schwartz thought that the fertility testing would require a rectal exam and joked that he would not be opposed to LVP performing it. She declined.

Why do the Toms continue to sexually flirt with sexy businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks? 🤔

 

[goofygirl]

She NEEDS it and they know it on some level.

[princelina]

On 11/3/2021 at 9:58 AM, Gharlane said:

Why do the Toms continue to sexually flirt with sexy businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks? 🤔

 

That's how they make the big bucks and remain the stars on her show 😄