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90DF Live Chat 3: I Gave Up Everything To Be Here

Frozendiva

By Frozendiva
in 90 Day Fiancé

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sainte-chapelle

sainte-chapelle

2 minutes ago, Suzywriter said:

So, while nothing interesting is going on, I seem to have gotten myself into some hot water.  My friend from a few states over came to visit while he was in the state on other business. One thing didn't quite lead to another but it probably will next time. 

He's married, and I should run. 

Notice me not running. 

Oh dear. I had a friend in a similar situation and it ended…badly. Try to meet in public and maintain the close friendship you have.

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Suzywriter
Suzywriter

Heyyyyyy all!!! As of yesterday, this girl has her Bachelor of Science in Mental Health and Human Services, with a MHRT/C Certificate! I turned 60 2 weeks ago.  

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My hubby! doing well after  his second open heart surgery 

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Surprise. It’s Sumit’s parents. 

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sainte-chapelle

sainte-chapelle

My situation is I have a freelancer working on a project…said she could do it no problem…briefed her several times. She kept making excuses for not hitting the first round deadline. Finally after I pushed she sent it and let’s say it is…not good. I need to send to another company to do it in time. Not sure what to tell her.

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Eldemarge

Eldemarge

When my ex-husband and I first got married, he explained to me that his last girlfriend cheated on him and therefore, he would just never trust me.  Then he treated me like I was the town whore for 14 years, when I was just trying to be a good wife and do everything he wanted.

When a man tells you he doesn't trust women by default, you believe him and RUN.

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Doublemint

Doublemint

3 minutes ago, Suzywriter said:

So, while nothing interesting is going on, I seem to have gotten myself into some hot water.  My friend from a few states over came to visit while he was in the state on other business. One thing didn't quite lead to another but it probably will next time. 

He's married, and I should run. 

Notice me not running. 

Pull back and reconsider - you're too smart to look for trouble.

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Auntie Anxiety

Auntie Anxiety

Just now, sainte-chapelle said:

My situation is I have a freelancer working on a project…said she could do it no problem…briefed her several times. She kept making excuses for not hitting the first round deadline. Finally after I pushed she sent it and let’s say it is…not good. I need to send to another company to do it in time. Not sure what to tell her.

“I think I need to go in another direction.” 

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Doublemint

Doublemint

1 minute ago, sainte-chapelle said:

My situation is I have a freelancer working on a project…said she could do it no problem…briefed her several times. She kept making excuses for not hitting the first round deadline. Finally after I pushed she sent it and let’s say it is…not good. I need to send to another company to do it in time. Not sure what to tell her.

The truth - it would be the most beneficial  for her future endeavors.

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Suzywriter

Suzywriter

1 minute ago, Doublemint said:

Pull back and reconsider - you're too smart to look for trouble.

Yeah, but not too smart for some potentially explosive sex with someone that I actually like but don't have to navigate more than a couple of times a year.  Oy. I'm talking myself into it, aren't I?

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Gobi

Gobi

Just now, Suzywriter said:

Yeah, but not too smart for some potentially explosive sex with someone that I actually like but don't have to navigate more than a couple of times a year.  Oy. I'm talking myself into it, aren't I?

This will not end well.

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Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

2 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

My situation is I have a freelancer working on a project…said she could do it no problem…briefed her several times. She kept making excuses for not hitting the first round deadline. Finally after I pushed she sent it and let’s say it is…not good. I need to send to another company to do it in time. Not sure what to tell her.

Is the freelancer from an agency? Call the agency and ask them to remove her and send a replacement. Tell them why and let them handle it. If not, and you have to tell her yourself, just tell her the truth. You were assured that she could deliver the goods and she let you down, causing additional trouble and expense. You're sure that she'll be a great fit somewhere, but its clear that its not with your team. 

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Suzywriter

Suzywriter

4 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

My situation is I have a freelancer working on a project…said she could do it no problem…briefed her several times. She kept making excuses for not hitting the first round deadline. Finally after I pushed she sent it and let’s say it is…not good. I need to send to another company to do it in time. Not sure what to tell her.

Will she still get paid for her work if you use another company? 

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sainte-chapelle

sainte-chapelle

(edited)
5 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

“I think I need to go in another direction.” 

Thanks I think I will say due to timing we need to take this back internally. I don’t want to be an asshole but I should probably tell her the templates  are not functioning correctly but in a nice way.  She needs to know. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she is young, but if you don’t have the skill set to do a project don’t take it on you know?

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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LEILANI2

LEILANI2

(edited)
12 minutes ago, Suzywriter said:

So, while nothing interesting is going on, I seem to have gotten myself into some hot water.  My friend from a few states over came to visit while he was in the state on other business. One thing didn't quite lead to another but it probably will next time. 

He's married, and I should run. 

Notice me not running. 

What do you want out of this... sex or for him to leave his wife? If just sex that's taboo then fine, otherwise married men will cheat with anyone willing, it's not the flattery you might think it is.  Go on Tinder to get that itch scratched and leave married men alone.

Does he have small children because sex is easy to get anywhere if you're a 2 out of 10 and female with working body parts, not worth ruining a family.

Edited by LEILANI2
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kacesq

kacesq

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

Amanda is now reconsidering her poor choices. And now she goes running back to her kids and her husband’s ashes. Razvan should have had a plan B. Now he’ll need to find another young widow to get him into the US.

Amanda will find a new great love as soon as she hits the states. I’m over her. 

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Auntie Anxiety

Auntie Anxiety

1 minute ago, Suzywriter said:

Yeah, but not too smart for some potentially explosive sex with someone that I actually like but don't have to navigate more than a couple of times a year.  Oy. I'm talking myself into it, aren't I?

Beware the Unintended consequences, like he’s going to divorce his wife or some shit like that.

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Suzywriter

Suzywriter

5 minutes ago, Eldemarge said:

When my ex-husband and I first got married, he explained to me that his last girlfriend cheated on him and therefore, he would just never trust me.  Then he treated me like I was the town whore for 14 years, when I was just trying to be a good wife and do everything he wanted.

When a man tells you he doesn't trust women by default, you believe him and RUN.

Oy, I had the same nonsense. I wonder if the last girlfriend cheated because she was tired of being treated like she was cheating. 

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Doublemint

Doublemint

1 minute ago, Suzywriter said:

Yeah, but not too smart for some potentially explosive sex with someone that I actually like but don't have to navigate more than a couple of times a year.  Oy. I'm talking myself into it, aren't I?

You might fall madly in love and want more and get hurt - but you already know this.  

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Suzywriter

Suzywriter

1 minute ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Thanks I think I will say due to timing we need to take this back internally. I don’t want to be an asshole but I should probably tell her the templates  are not functioning correctly but in a nice way. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she is young, but if you don’t have the skill set to do a project don’t take it on you know?

You're not hurting feelings to tell someone that they are charging you for a product that does not fit your needs. 

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For Cereals

For Cereals

Just now, sainte-chapelle said:

Thanks I think I will say due to timing we need to take this back internally. I don’t want to be an asshole but I should probably tell her the templates  are not functioning correctly but in a nice way. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she is young, but if you don’t have the skill set to do a project don’t take it on you know?

I agree with the honest approach here.  She needs to learn and you deserve to be satisfied with the work.  Give her polite but actionable feedback.  Her feelings may be hurt regardless but it will be better for her.

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Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

2 minutes ago, Suzywriter said:

Yeah, but not too smart for some potentially explosive sex with someone that I actually like but don't have to navigate more than a couple of times a year.  Oy. I'm talking myself into it, aren't I?

You are, and you know it, sister. Do you know his wife? Would you ever run into her socially? And what if the sex is, you know, just fine? Not explosive? Don't do it. If you have to talk yourself into it then its not worth it. Think of the aggravation and the potential blowback. Not worth it for a few afternoons of fun. 

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Suzywriter

Suzywriter

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Beware the Unintended consequences, like he’s going to divorce his wife or some shit like that.

Good God, I hope not! He has a lot of good qualities, but it would just be too complicated. I'm not worried about him leaving her. I'm worried about getting outed on FB.

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kacesq

kacesq

Oh puhleeze. Razvan just isn’t what you want or who you expected. Find yourself another older dude who will pay your way and keep you in Botox. 

Also Razvan? You are not that good an actor because you clearly are more upset about losing your ticket to America than losing Amanda.

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sainte-chapelle

sainte-chapelle

(edited)
7 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Is the freelancer from an agency? Call the agency and ask them to remove her and send a replacement. Tell them why and let them handle it. If not, and you have to tell her yourself, just tell her the truth. You were assured that she could deliver the goods and she let you down, causing additional trouble and expense. You're sure that she'll be a great fit somewhere, but its clear that its not with your team. 

Freelancer, we still will use her for smaller projects. This one was little above her experience level as what I got back is not functioning at all the way it should. I think she thought it was easier than it is and once she started  realized this and stalled for time. We use her for other things so I trusted her.

@Suzywriter I am fine to pay her for the time she spent on it but she didn’t deliver what we needed. 

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

2 minutes ago, Suzywriter said:

You're not hurting feelings to tell someone that they are charging you for a product that does not fit your needs. 

Exactly. If she's smart she can learn from it. She'll need a certain amount of ass kicking in life. Why not start now?

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For Cereals

For Cereals

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Amanda got what she, um, came for. She was horny. Now she’s ready to go home.

Oh no she wasn’t.  That was a spite fuck because of what his friend said.  She would still be trying to avoid sex if the friend hadn’t told her she was toxic.

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For Cereals

For Cereals

Just now, sainte-chapelle said:

Freelancer, we still will use her for smaller projects. This one was little above her experience level as what I got back is not functioning at all the way it should. I think she thought it was easier than it is and once she for into realized this and stalled for time. We use her for other things so I trusted her.

@Suzywriter I am fine to pay her for the time she spent on it but she didn’t deliver what we needed. 

Nope not even that.  I think I would short pay and I will swear up and down the FB AITAH group that you are not! 

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