S07.E01: August 16, 2021

[JenE4]

23 “fan favorites” (and those you don’t remember or wish you could forget) compete for a chance of love and influencer fame—but mostly influencer fame.

[DEL901]

Oh, Connor, Connor, Connor….I gave you a pass for the singing on the Bachelorette, but now you are just pathetic.   

[alexa]

I am actually looking forward to this.  So far looks like a decent cast, and it has to be better than Katie and Matt’s seasons of the Bachelorette/ Bachelor.  

[Crashcourse]

One of these chicks said milk of "magnesium."   🤣

So far I'm kind of meh on this bunch but I'll give it a chance.

[JenE4]

I’m glad they’re reminding us who everyone is with clips because I wouldn’t otherwise recognize most of these people.

[dizzyd]

Damn I have nothing better to do! I have asked Why multiple times in the last 15 minutes. 

[Crashcourse]

4 minutes ago, dizzyd said:

Damn I have nothing better to do! I have asked Why multiple times in the last 15 minutes. 

Same here! 🤣🤣🤣

[DEL901]

So, Queen Victoria is now Goddess Victoria.   Somehow she managed to top last season’s lunacy.   Any guy who saw Matt’s season will run a mile.   

[JenE4]

They’re back to casting for the senior Bachelor! Any of our more mature members going to apply?!

[DEL901]

Dave Chappelle?   LOL.   Not much/any resemblance.  

[saber5055]

Just got here, I thought mowing my front yard and fooling around with my horse was more fun than coming in to watch the beginning of this.

So, the first guy I see coming into Paradise is some dude in shorty shorts (not that there's anything wrong with those!) and a leopard-print "top" that is open several buttons, and I'm thinking DUDE! You are so gross, everyone is going to laugh at you because I am. Instead, it turns out every woman there is swooning over him, he's the HOTTEST guy on the beach.

I now am positive I am so far out of the demographic for this show. I don't even know why I'm watching, I could be back outside trimming back some trees.

[JenE4]

Dave Chappelle?!?

[alexa]

Is he really going to stay naked?  I guess he is borrowing others’ clothes?  

Edited August 17, 2021 by alexa

[Crashcourse]

Why do most of the women sound like 13 year old valley girls?  Do they think it's cute?  I'm not sure I can listen to much more of this.

 

[JenE4]

1 minute ago, alexa said:

Is he really going to stay naked?  

I’m not going to complain. Helllooooo, Kenny.

[saber5055]

24 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

One of these chicks said milk of "magnesium."   🤣

But magnesium has four syllables so she's now one of the smartest women there!

11 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

They’re back to casting for the senior Bachelor! Any of our more mature members going to apply?!

We actually scared @Rainsong away with that talk last season, he wouldn't even join us for Katie's spin as B-ette.

[alexa]

Oh Joe….you knew what you were getting into!  

3 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

I’m not going to complain. Helllooooo, Kenny.

I just feel bad for them…over time it would get awkward?  Lol

[JenE4]

2 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

But magnesium has four syllables so she's now one of the smartest women there!

We actually scared @Rainsong away with that talk last season, he wouldn't even join us for Katie's spin as B-ette.

Yes, you randy women made him run for the hills! I mean apply for the show! 

Joe is already crying?! Oh, boy. He’s not ready for Bachelor in Paradise: The New Class. All these kids are making fun of him and he doesn’t know what to do!

[DEL901]

8 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Yes, you randy women made him run for the hills! I mean apply for the show! 

Joe is already crying?! Oh, boy. He’s not ready for Bachelor in Paradise: The New Class. All these kids are making fun of him and he doesn’t know what to do!

So, I guess this means that once he gets it together, Kendall will arrive?

[saber5055]

So Brandan is a "gorgeous man"? Boy, does my taste differ from that.

Grocery Joe can't be the oldest if Naked Kenny is 40. But geesh, lighten up Joe. If you came to Paradise again "to find love," you just don't know how this franchise works.

Now I remember why I watch this franchise ... it's because you posters here are so funny. Everyone is so snarkalicious, that's the only thing keeping me watching this franchise.

Edited August 17, 2021 by saber5055

[JenE4]

Out of these emerging couples, I’m rooting for Tahzjaun, Tre, Tre’s uncle, and this giant bug.

[JenE4]

Noah has said referred to Abigail “hearing more” twice! Sir! Really?!

Everyone thinking they have the first kiss of paradise! Lol.

[Crashcourse]

I think Mopey Joe is putting on an act.  I do like his curly hair though.

[TomGirl]

Just now, Crashcourse said:

 

I think Mopey Joe is putting on an act.  I do like his curly hair though.

 

Act or no act, I think he is beyond adorable.  Love me some Grocery Joe!

[Crashcourse]

1 minute ago, TomGirl said:

Act or no act, I think he is beyond adorable.  Love me some Grocery Joe!

I love him, too, but I still think it's an act.

[JenE4]

2 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I think Mopey Joe is putting on an act.  I do like his curly hair though.

Nah, I think this dude is spiraling! But he said he liked Serena coming into this, so hopefully her stealing him to talk will pull him out of it. Oh, no, nevermind! She’s telling him he’s in a whole different life stage, and shocked over how old he is. Now they’re kissing?!? Well, okay, I guess the old geezer has still got it. This should perk him up and out of his funk!

[Crashcourse]

That kiss was pretty lame though. 😅

[DEL901]

Okay…Kenny 40 and Mari 25.  Joe 35 and Serena 23.   Anyone else noticing a pattern. 

[Thumper]

Naked Kenny.  Can’t he show off his body without being naked?  Attention whore. No.

[saber5055]

Weren't any women older than 25 available for this season? It's like Kenny and Joe were invited as chaperones.

[Crashcourse]

1 minute ago, Thumper said:

Naked Kenny.  Can’t he show off his body without being naked?  Attention whore. No.

I hope a huge bug lands on his junk.

[saber5055]

1 minute ago, Thumper said:

Naked Kenny.  Can’t he show off his body without being naked?  Attention whore. No.

The editors might just be screwing with us and he isn't naked, they're just putting a black box over his ass like they did to some woman a few seasons ago. She was wearing a bikini but they kept black-boxing her butt as a joke.

[Crashcourse]

Oh gawd.  Demi.   She's not nearly as hot as she thinks she is.  Bless her heart.

[saber5055]

Whoever said once Joe got hooked up Kendall was going to appear. Award yourself the first rose!

[FlyingEgret]

David Spade won me over with his crab bit at the end - we need more of that!

[JenE4]

I’m looking forward to the petty-ass move of someone’s birthday cake being thrown into the fire. Next week it’s on Monday and Tuesday! I hope it gets better. This episode was a little slow, but I guess it was a lot of ramp-up introducing everyone.

[Thumper]

Is David Spade always the host? This is my first viewing.   Not sure I will stick with it.

Karl is from Katie’s season?  I thought he was an oldie.  Don’t remember him.

Everyone seems more hot and horny than on Bachelor.  Interesting to see those I remember.

 

[JenE4]

1 minute ago, Thumper said:

Is David Spade always the host? This is my first viewing.   Not sure I will stick with it.

Karl is from Katie’s season?  I thought he was an oldie.  Don’t remember him.

Everyone seems more hot and horny than on Bachelor.  Interesting to see those I remember.

 

Karl is the one who said “multiple people are here for the wrong reasons” but then had no evidence or names to back it up, so he was sent packing.

David Spade is one of several guest hosts this season, so no telling how much we’ll need to endure, but at least not every week.

[Thumper]

Thanks for the info.

Is Wells a former bachelor or contestant?

[TomGirl]

4 minutes ago, Thumper said:

 

Thanks for the info.

Is Wells a former bachelor or contestant?

 

Wells was a contestant on a bachelorette season several years ago.  He was very popular with the viewers. I think it was JoJo’s season.

Edited August 17, 2021 by TomGirl

[Ms Blue Jay]

I think Wells was a contestant on Jojo's season.  He was a huge fan favourite.  I think he looks like Penn Badgley or someone cute like that.  🤷‍♂️.  He has a really cute demeanour and sweet personality.  He ended up getting with Sarah Hyland from Modern Family.  He's been the bartender on this show for several seasons now.

Edited August 17, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[JenE4]

1 minute ago, Thumper said:

Thanks for the info.

Is Wells a former bachelor or contestant?

He was a former contestant on JoJo’s season. He’s been the bartender here for years—5 years, I think he said. He also appeared occasionally to host events during the main shows over the years. He’s apparently “the master of ceremonies” as well as the bartender this season. I’m not sure why they didn’t just have him replace Harrison and host the show outright this summer. He’s married to Sarah Hyland from Modern Family.

[Thumper]

Oh, so nice about Wells and Sarah Hyland!  Thanks for the updates!

I think she has had health issues with kidney(?) transplants.  I hope they are happy.

 

Edited August 17, 2021 by Thumper

[SHD]

I guess I’m the only one who enjoyed David Spade hosting? I love his “This is so stupid” underlying attitude. I wish they would’ve gotten Amy Schumer to guest host. She would’ve brought the same tone as David Spade, but from a female perspective.

[Thumper]

I enjoy David Spade too! 😂. I didn’t know he was new to hosting this show.

[saber5055]

7 minutes ago, SHD said:

I guess I’m the only one who enjoyed David Spade hosting? I love his “This is so stupid” underlying attitude. I wish they would’ve gotten Amy Schumer to guest host. She would’ve brought the same tone as David Spade, but from a female perspective.

I surprised myself by liking him too. He was the only interesting thing about this episode, and TPTB thought so too since he got the credits clip. Maybe it was in his contract but I seriously doubt any of the contestants did anything funny they could have used. Now that it's over, I can't remember anything interesting that happened.

Edited August 17, 2021 by saber5055

[angelamh66]

If Kenny is truly naked he has already defiled several pieces of furniture with his bare sweaty business all over everything. Vomit. 

[Madding crowd]

Victoria still looks and acts unattractive. I can’t imagine any of the guys being into her. I think grocery store Joe is really handsome and nice but he has a weird personality. Serena seems to young for him. I recognize all of the guys but not all of the women. Demi has worn out her welcome, she should bartend or co-host if she insists on coming back.

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 8/16/2021 at 11:04 PM, SHD said:

I guess I’m the only one who enjoyed David Spade hosting? I love his “This is so stupid” underlying attitude. I wish they would’ve gotten Amy Schumer to guest host. She would’ve brought the same tone as David Spade, but from a female perspective.

I love David.  

Edited August 21, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[thejuicer]

I like David Spade a lot, he's actually a super fan of the show so it doesn't surprise me he knows the back story of most contestants. Also he was snarky without being creepy with the women.

It's interesting that on Bachelor in Paradise the most natural looking women seem to be most popular - Abigail, Serena come to mind. I won't name names but the women with the super long fake extensions, fake tans, fake breasts aren't always the ones being sought after.